What Hurts The Most
by beegurl13
Summary: Who meets the love of their life when they're 17 years old? I did, that’s who. Edward Cullen's life is all planned out, what happens when he meets the girl of his dreams? Can things turn out as perfect as he planned? Non-fantasy continuation to the o/s.
1. Chapter 1 Shameless

**A/N: First of all, I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a long list of super, amazing, funny, wonderful readers that like to talk to me. That's better than what SM's got, right?**

**I got a lot of requests to finish this story, give Edward & Bella the HEA they deserve. (For those that aren't sure, HEA means Happily Ever After) I posted the alternate ending that I had promised, and I gave it a HEA, too. I couldn't just leave it hangin' like that. However, by doing that I fear I may end up confusing some people. Heck, I confused uberbeta, so it's not looking good for me. Let me explain…**

**This continuation picks up where the original story left off. I'll explain a bit more about that before chapter 2. This ending will be different than the alternate ending, so it's not just expanding on that. Other things are happening here, lots of other things. Also, it won't all be happy. I like to screw with these characters too much. I do love angst…**

**Thanks to my uberbeta coldplaywhore. I think my whore name would have to be journeywhore, but we won't get into that.**

**Thanks to My Constants… MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). I adore you.**

**Thanks to all of you who read this the first time and voted for me in the challenge. I still can't believe my little baby won… Thank you.**

**This is the original o/s, so if you've already read it, go to the bottom, tell me you love me, then move on to chapter 2. **

**And Wendy, I hope you read this… :D**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 1 - Shameless

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
__But I'm doin' it  
__It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
__Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
__But I know if I could do it over  
__I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
__That I left unspoken_

_What hurts the most  
__Is being so close  
__And havin' so much to say  
__And watchin' you walk away  
__And never knowin'  
__What could've been  
__And not seein' that lovin' you  
__Is what I was tryin' to do  
__Not seein' that lovin' you  
__That's what I was trying to do_

"What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts

I was 17 the first time I ever saw her. I had hung out with girls before, taken them on dates, had a few girlfriends – I was somewhat of a ladies man on campus. Every girl in school wanted me, and I knew it. I sometimes took advantage of it. Not that any of them ever complained. But she was different. I knew it the first time she walked in the room.

I was a senior in high school, quarterback and captain of the football team, starting pitcher on the baseball team, student body president, and had a 4.0 GPA. My parents were better off than most people in our town; we lived in a huge house, drove new cars, and my parents had the typical 2.5 kids. I count my older brother Emmett as that .5 because he's usually more of an animal than a human. I was living the American dream. All I was lacking was the blonde, cheerleader girlfriend, though Emmett had that part covered. Colleges were all over me, offering me scholarships right and left. I could go anywhere I wanted. As long as I didn't screw up.

When I got home from football practice that afternoon I was surprised to see an old, red truck parked in the driveway. At first I thought it was the landscapers' truck, but then I realized we paid our landscapers enough that they could afford a truck made in this century. I was curious as to who the mammoth beast belonged to, and, to be honest, if it actually ran or if they had to push it to get it to my house.

I parked my Volvo in the garage around the side of the house and quietly entered through the mud room entry just off the kitchen. I figured it was safe, in case there was someone in the living room with my mother. I planned to dart up the back stairs to my bedroom so I could get on-line and check out my date prospects for after the game Friday night. Facebook was the modern day Main Street when it came to cruisin' for chicks, as my dad so embarrassingly put it.

I heard my sister Alice talking to someone as I came down the hallway, and slowed to see if I could recognize the voice. Alice was two years younger than me and I felt a little bad that girls often times pretended to be her friend so that they could get close to me. I mean, I still screwed them, but I felt bad about it. When I came into the room Alice was standing next to the fridge with the door open, searching for something. She was alone, but yelling to someone else.

"I don't see any caffeine free soda, how about some juice or something?" she called.

She hadn't heard me come in and I couldn't pass up the chance to do my big brotherly duty and scare the living crap out of her. I walked up behind her very quietly and just as she stood up I grabbed her around the waist and yelled in her ear, "ALICE! WHATDOYOUTHINKYOU'REDOING?"

She screamed and thrashed in my arms and then I heard the sound of shattering glass as the juice bottles she held crashed to the floor.

"Edward! You jerk!" she shrieked, slapping at my arms as I hoisted her into the air.

Luckily I noticed that she wasn't wearing any shoes so I spun her around before setting her back on the ground. I didn't want her to get glass in her feet.

"Alice, I'm sorry! I was just trying to scare you!" I apologetically said. "I didn't mean to make you drop your juice. I'll clean it up, I'm so sorry."

I threw my backpack on the counter and ran into the pantry to get the broom and dust pan so that I could get the glass cleaned up. As I bent over, sweeping up all the big pieces that I could see, Alice stood behind me ranting about how those were the last two juices in the fridge and now her friend was going to have nothing to drink since all we had left was Pepsi and mom's Diet Coke, and she apparently didn't drink caffeine.

_Great,_ I thought, _another 'friend' of Alice's. This may not end well…or it may save me from cruisin' on Facebook._

I heard the steps quietly on the wood flooring. I noticed how muted they were, meaning the friend must have been wearing tennis shoes since there was no clicking like Alice and my mother's shoes usually made. That was interesting – Alice being friends with a girl who wore tennis shoes. I couldn't remember Alice ever wearing a pair of tennis shoes in her life. The steps grew closer and more hesitant as they got to the kitchen doorway. I hurriedly tried to soak up the juice with the towel in my hand as the steps came to a stop. I looked up towards the doorway and was met with the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. I forgot about the juice.

She was looking at Alice, who stood behind me still huffing about the juice bottles. I noticed she wasn't dressed like the girls Alice usually hung around with, and I didn't know her. I hadn't seen her at school, and I immediately wondered where Alice found this girl? I continued to stare at her taking in her long legs, curvy hips, slender waist, and nice rack - seriously nice boobs on this chick. Of course they were covered up by her long, brown wavy hair which led to her creamy white skin and her gorgeous face.

Then she looked down at me.

I felt a shock as our eyes met, something I had never felt before. As she stared into my eyes I felt at peace, like I had been treading water for days and she was the raft I had been waiting for. I couldn't breathe.

Somewhere in my head I registered that Alice was speaking to the girl. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, my idiot jokester of a brother grabbed me and I dropped the juice. I don't have anything else to drink but water."

Her gaze darted back to Alice and a small grin turned up her perfect red lips. "That's okay, Alice, water's fine." Her voice was sweet, not too high pitched, but not rough and growling either. I could hear compassion, wisdom, and love all rolled into the tone of her reply. I wanted to hear it again. I wanted to hear it forever.

"Bella, this is Edward, my brother. I keep trying to convince my parents to put him up for adoption but I guess he's a big deal to them or something. Edward, this is my friend Bella. She just moved here, her dad is Chief Swan. She's the new girl everyone was talking about last week."

That's who she was, the new girl. She had been the talk of the school for the last several days prior, but I had invested every spare moment of my time into preparing for the football game against La Push last Friday night. I hadn't noticed her around school, and now I was kicking myself for it. Just when I thought she couldn't be anymore beautiful, a pink blush started to creep up her neck towards her face.

"Alice," she said sounding embarrassed, "no more new girl talk, please."

I had to laugh. Most girls would welcome the attention that that kind of title would bring them, but not this girl. I had to know why.

I slowly stood up, my eyes never leaving her face, and stepped towards her. I extended my hand, looking as though I wanted to shake hers, but really I just wanted to touch her, to make sure she was real.

"I'm Edward," I said, sounding far too out of breathe for someone who had been wiping up spilled juice.

She glanced down at my hand and giggled. "You're all sticky, Edward. Maybe you should wash your hands first, then I'll shake it."

I snorted, laughing at her comment and realizing that I was indeed sticky. I quickly turned to the sink and scrubbed my hands, ridding them of all the juice. After I dried them I turned back to Bella, who was still standing in the doorway, and held my hand out again.

"I'm Edward," I said again as I gazed into her eyes.

She smiled and put out her hand. "Hi Edward, I'm Bella."

"Yeah you are." The whispered words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. As our hands met I realized that I may as well have left the juice on them because even though they weren't sticky anymore, our hands would be stuck to each other for the rest of the night.

"Oh great," I heard Alice say behind me. "Another one bites the dust."

She laughed and Bella giggled as I smiled.

She was different, and I wanted her to be mine.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

That's how it started. It was simple enough, I mean who really meets the love of their life when they are 17 years old, cleaning up spilled juice on their kitchen floor? I did, that's who.

I went out of my way to find her around school for the rest of the week. On Tuesday between 3rd and fourth hour, I saw her in the hallway talking to Mike Newton. I had never before felt the jealousy that burned in my stomach at the sight of them together. Mike was a shameless flirt, though Bella didn't really look interested in him. She glanced up as her eyes met mine and I smiled at her as I walked closer, causing her to return the smile. Mike looked towards me and I could see a strange look shadow over his face. He knew I was watching Bella, and surprisingly I was happy about that.

On Wednesday, I spotted Bella sitting with Alice and Jasper during lunch and rather than sit with my normal group of friends, or with the girls that regularly serviced me, I walked over to their table. When Alice spotted me, a look of annoyance etched itself onto her face. Bella looked surprised, but happy to see me regardless. I sat across from her, not wanting to start any rumors. At least this way, I could pass it off as me just talking to my sister and best friend; I didn't have to put Bella in the line of fire just yet. I knew the regulars wouldn't be pleased to see new competition for my time.

Thursday was important; I had to talk to her alone. I only spotted her twice all day, and even then it was from a distance. I was feeling like a failure when finally, before my last class of the day, I literally ran right into her. She dropped her books and I quickly bent down to help her pick them up. Her hair was falling down around her face, but I could still see the blush creeping into her cheeks. When I happened to glance down, I got a pretty good look down her shirt too. I guess helping people really does pay off, and I felt more than rewarded.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I'm kind of clumsy, it's probably my fault anyway," she said, not looking at me.

"Well, either way, I'm glad it was you I ran into, or me that you ran into." I laughed, hoping my thoughts sounded better spoken out loud than they did in my head.

She giggled, looking up at me. "Me too," she quietly said.

She liked me. I knew it.

"Um, Bella, I wanted to ask you, would you be interested in hanging out with me sometime? Maybe watching a movie or getting pizza or something?" I asked with a shaky voice.

Her eyes got wide as she looked at me. "Really? Are you sure you want to do that with me?"

"Yes Bella, I am. I don't wash my sticky juice hands for just any girl," I joked, trying to make her feel more comfortable by reminding her about my idiocy from a few days before.

Her smile returned, "Yeah, I would love to do that sometime, Edward."

"Okay, um, you'd better get to class. I don't want you to be late on my account," I told her.

"Yeah, thanks for helping me with my books. Bye Edward."

"Bye Bella."

I watched her hurry down the hallway towards her class. After she turned the corner I continued on to my class, not even caring how late I was.

On Friday I saw her at the Pep Rally and made a beeline to her as everyone started to leave the gym. Several other people, mostly my regulars looking for a hook up after the game, approached me as I made my way towards her, but I was not deterred. I was a man on a mission.

She and Alice had just left the lobby as I caught up to them. I walked along side them towards their lockers for a few minutes before I nervously asked Bella to come watch me at the game that night. She smiled somewhat shyly and assured me that she would be there with Alice and that she'd wait around afterwards to say hi.

Throughout the whole game that night I scanned the crowd looking for her. Finally with 30 seconds to go in the 4th quarter, I found her. She was standing by the fence watching me. Our team was down by 4 points, the game having gone back and forth all night. It was up to me if we were going to win. The whistle blew and I dropped back, deep into the pocket, waiting to find my receiver. Finally I spotted Jasper about 10 yards from the end zone. I pulled my arm back and let the ball fly. The pass was beautiful, though not as beautiful as the girl I quickly glanced over to see. Her eyes, along with everyone else in the stands, were glued to the ball that was spiraling through the air. Jasper was open and caught it with ease. Just a few short yards and I heard the horns blowing. Touchdown! We had done it, in the last few seconds we pulled off the win. The crowd screamed and cheered with excitement, but I stayed calm as I kept watch on the amazing brown eyed beauty that stood silently watching me.

I heard my teammates calling my name, but my mind didn't understand what they were saying. I rushed to the sidelines, past the coaches and cheerleaders, to the fence where she stood. When I finally got to her I took her face gently in my gloved hands that had just hurled the ball over 40 yards, and I stroked her cheeks. She was cold.

"Edward, you did it! I'm so proud of you!" she beamed at me.

I couldn't speak. I looked into her eyes, lowered my face towards her, and pressed my lips softly against hers. I heard her gasp slightly, as she froze. My lips moved instinctively to kiss her again and soon she joined in. Her fingers wound themselves into my wet hair as I pulled her closer, well as close as I could get her with a fence between us. After several seconds and many more loud whistles from on lookers, I stilled my lips and pulled away from her. I felt the loss immediately and ached to have my mouth against hers again. I kept my forehead placed on hers, our noses touching ever so slightly.

"Wait for me to get changed?" I practically begged her.

"Oh course I will, Edward. You're the whole reason I came to the game tonight."

I smiled brightly, knowing that she came only to watch me play, and that she would be waiting for me. As much as my heart hurt to leave her in that moment, I wanted to get dressed as fast as possible so that I could see her again. I ran to the locker room, showered, and dressed before most of the other players had even gotten out of their uniforms. Sure enough, she was waiting for me.

She stood with Alice and my parents near the concession stand. I walked towards them, accepting praises and congratulations from several classmates and parents along the way. My dad looked so proud, clapping me on the back and telling me what a great job I did. My mother rushed forward to hug me, saying over and over again, "That's my boy, my sweet little baby boy."

Moms are so embarrassing.

Bella just laughed along with Alice, whose attention quickly turned to Jasper as he joined our little group. I couldn't have been happier about Alice dating Jasper. He was the only guy I deemed good enough for her, so I was pleased when he finally got up the courage to ask her out.

My parents soon left, followed by Alice and Jasper, leaving only Bella and I remaining. We stood awkwardly for a few moments, not quite sure what to say. Finally I held out my hand and simply said, "Shall we?" Bella placed her hand in mine and we walked out of the stadium. She had ridden to the game with Alice, so I offered to give her a ride home. I knew I wouldn't take her straight home. She knew it too.

We wound up parked on the side of a dirt road north of town. We talked for an hour and kissed a little longer than that. Even during all the times I had had sex with other girls, I never experienced the kind of intimacy we had that night. Our souls were bared to one another. There was nothing untouchable between us. It actually felt like we already knew all of the things we were confessing.

She told me about her mother and how she had recently remarried, causing Bella to come live with her father. She wanted to give her mom and step dad some time together. I could tell that she was unselfish and caring, and I wondered how many other things she had sacrificed to make someone else happy.

I told her about my dreams to play college ball, and that someday I wanted to go into sports medicine and work for a professional sports team. My dad had influenced my love of helping people, but my heart belonged on the field. I imagined that would be the perfect occupation for me – joining my two loves.

I soon realized that I had to add another to that list of loves – Bella.

I counted down the days until Thursday of the next week. That was the night that Bella had agreed to go out with me. She seemed excited and I hoped that I hadn't come off as too overly anxious to spend time with her. Each day that week I would ask her about something regarding our date – what she wanted to eat, where she wanted to go, what kind of flowers she liked, if there was a certain candy she craved. I usually passed her in the hallway after my 3rd hour class so each day I gave her a note containing the question of the day, then I would spend all lunch hour prying details out of her. After school I would give her another note with a different question and as soon I as got home from football practice, I would run to my room and call her, curious to see what her response would be. I was learning so much about her from the silly questions, and so far everything I learned, I loved.

Thursday evening as I pulled up to her house my stomach was overcome with butterflies. I had never been nervous like that around a girl before, but Bella wasn't just any girl. I took a deep breath and walked up the sidewalk to her door where I knocked and waited for a few seconds before it opened. Inside stood her father, Chief Swan, who did not have a pleasant look on his face. I knew he wore a gun on his belt everyday, so that combined with the obvious distaste he was showing for me almost made me turn around and run back to my car. However, then I saw Bella standing behind him and any thoughts of leaving vanished.

"Edward, come on in. Let's have a little talk, shall we?" he said.

"Yes sir, good evening Chief Swan," I said in my most polite parent voice. I walked into the house and he motioned for me to sit on the sofa in the living room. Bella smiled at me and raised her hand to give me a little wave. I smiled back at her, hoping it wouldn't be the last time I ever got to see her smile at me.

"So Edward, Bella tells me you two have plans tonight. Is that right?"

I could tell from his tone that he enjoyed questioning people and was probably rather good at it. Most likely, he saw me as just another criminal up to no good, though tonight that no good would most likely include his daughter. I was screwed.

"Yes, sir, we are going to pick up a pizza and DVD and then go back to my house to watch the movie. My parents are home and will be all evening, so we won't be alone or anything. My sister Alice will be there too, so…"

"Well, that's good. I know your father quite well Edward; I must say he's a good man. You seem to be rather upstanding yourself, I haven't had the pleasure of arresting you for any illegal activity, so that's the only reason you've made it this far tonight."

"Yeah, I keep too busy with school stuff to get into much trouble, Chief Swan. Plus my parents would disown me if I did anything to ruin my chances at a scholarship for college."

"Well, that's good to hear, Edward. Bella here just turned 16 not too long ago and I'm not all that excited about her dating exclusively, I would much rather the whole dating thing take place in a group or something, you understand – statistics show teenage pregnancy has a much smaller chance of happening when two people aren't alone. Safety in numbers, and all that."

"Dad!" Bella yelled in shock, rolling her eyes.

The Chief laughed a little and continued. "So, I am putting her in your care for the evening. I trust that you will return her promptly by 10pm since it is a school night, and that she will be in the same, if not better, condition than she is now. Is that understood?" he said.

"Yes sir, I can assure you I will treat her with the respect she deserves, sir. My mother taught me to be respectful to women, so I promise you I will be," I told him wholeheartedly. Bella was far too precious to me to ever let anything bad happen to her.

Bella quickly stood up, walking over to me, "Let's go. If we stay any longer we aren't going to get to watch the whole movie, and I don't want to get home late, right Dad?"

"Yeah," Chief Swan slowly said. "You two kids have fun."

We started towards the door when he yelled from behind us, "Edward, I do have your parents number, I may be calling just to check in sometime this evening. Don't be surprised if I do."

"Dad! Stop!" Bella said loudly to him. "We are fine and I will be home on time, okay? Now, have a good night dad."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. I turned and waved to the Chief, mumbling a goodbye. I opened the door for her when we got to my car, then hurried around to my side so I could drive away with her before the Chief changed his mind.

"So, did you want to eat at the pizza place or just get it and go to my house?" I asked her.

"Oh, um, whatever you want to do is fine with me," she said quietly.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, hopeful that she hadn't changed her mind about our date.

"No, I just didn't know if you would really want to risk running into other kids from school while you were with me. I know I'm not popular or anything, so…I just wasn't sure." What? She thought I didn't want to be seen with her? I racked my brain trying to figure out why she would think that way. Had I done something to make her think that?

"Bella, why would you think that? Did I do something?" I asked confused.

"No, not really, I mean you just haven't actually talked to me one on one when we're in public, you usually just give me those notes, and the only time you do speak to me is when Alice and Jasper are there. Then when you mentioned just hanging out at your house tonight, I figured maybe you were embarrassed or something. I totally understand, I know the kind of girls you usually hang around with, so it's okay. I'm not offended or anything," she said with a sigh.

I was so stupid. How did I not realize she would interpret my actions that way? I needed to set things straight before I messed it all up even worse.

"Bella, I gave you those notes because I wanted a reason to talk to you and I only talk to you when Alice and Jasper are around because I'm a big chicken when it comes to you. You make me nervous, Bella, and I don't know how to act. I don't want to look stupid in front of you, have you think I'm an idiot or something," I said with a laugh, hoping that I hadn't just made a complete and total fool out of myself.

"I make you nervous? Really? How is that even possible?" Her laugh was tinged with disbelief and she shook her head.

"Bella, you have no idea how amazing you really are, do you?"

She smiled and her gaze went to the side window.

"That's it; we're eating at the pizza place. I'm showing you off. You look incredible tonight and I want everyone to see that _you_ are with _me_."

She quickly turned to look at me, her eyes wide. I smiled back at her, hoping to see someone, anyone, from school.

The pizza place was packed, as I figured it would be since it was the night before a game. The whole room seemed to go silent when we walked in the door. Bella hesitated, so I grabbed her hand, lacing her fingers with mine, and pulled her with me to the counter. We ordered our pizza, got some drinks, and went to find a table. There was an open booth along the far wall so when Bella slid in to sit down, I slid in next to her, leaving the other bench empty. She looked at me a little surprised. I leaned over to her and whispered into her ear, "I can't put my arm around you from way over there. I also can't kiss you whenever I want to." I placed a light kiss on her temple and lifted my arm, placing it around her shoulders. She scooted closer to me, putting her hand on my thigh. I had never felt so happy in all my life.

Several people stopped by our table as we ate, anxious to talk about the football game the next night. One of my regulars, Tanya, was there with some friends of hers. The looks she was casting at Bella made me angry, but I wasn't surprised, I knew eventually the girls would find out about us. When I felt Bella shrink into my side, I whispered apologies to her, but I could tell she was upset about it. I vowed to make sure I never gave her any reason to doubt my feelings for her or to make her think I wanted anything to do with those girls ever again. I only wanted Bella and I was bound and determined to prove it.

We stayed at the pizza place longer than I'd planned and when we realized we only had a little more than an hour to watch the movie, I suggested that maybe we could go to Bella's house instead, that way we could see more of it since my curfew was later than hers. Plus, I wanted a chance to show the Chief that I could be trusted. Bella seemed to think it was a good idea, so I called my parents to let them know I'd be home later.

When we got to Bella's house, her dad seemed surprised to see us so early, wrongfully assuming that the date hadn't gone well. Bella told him about the pizza place and showed him the movie we had picked out. He said it was fine if we watched the whole thing, even though it wouldn't be over until almost 11pm. Bella made some popcorn and I got some drinks after she showed me where the garage refrigerator was, then we settled in next to each other on the sofa. After the Chief went to bed, Bella got a blanket and we snuggled together, letting our hands get familiar with one another's bodies in ways they hadn't before. Neither of us watched the second half of the movie, which was okay since we had both already seen it.

I was flying as I left her house, kissing her soundly on the front porch before going to my car. I drove home replaying every kiss and touch of the evening, the drive home ending before I even knew it. I had only been away from her for a few minutes, but already I ached to be with her again.

After that first date it didn't take long for me to realize that I was in love with her. Within a month or so I knew my feelings were strong, deeper than anything I had ever even imagined I would have. By Christmas I had decided that somehow, I would find a way to spend the rest of my life with her. I knew I could never be truly happy without her by my side.

We were prefect together, like two halves to a whole. Anyone who saw us could tell, too. Chief Swan wasn't too excited about Bella being so serious with a boy, especially since she had just turned 16, but he knew me and he knew my family. He also knew that Bella could do a lot worse, and I assured him at every turn that I adored her and would never do anything to hurt her. She was my life. I was nothing without her.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As spring approached, I realized that I had some major decisions to make about my future. I knew I would go to college, the question was where. Bella and I discussed it everyday, trying to decide what my best options where. I wanted somewhere local so that I could come home to visit more often, since she still had two years of high school left. She wanted me to choose somewhere respectable, a place that she had a chance of getting into after she graduated.

I had finally decided on Washington State. The athletic programs were great and it was close by, I would be able to see Bella as often as I wanted. She could come with my family to watch my games, and I was likely to play a lot since their program didn't have some of the big name athletes that so many of my other choices had. I was happy with the way things were turning out.

There was only one thing that worried me. That was the physical relationship that Bella and I had. We'd never had sex.

I knew that Bella was a virgin. I liked that she was. It killed me to think about her ever being _like that _with another guy, a guy who didn't worship and adore her the way I did. I knew it bothered her that I had been so free before she came along, especially when several of my _regulars_ continued to taunt her with the knowledge they had of me. Stupid Jessica, Lauren, and Tanya. They loved to get Bella all riled up, thinking it would break us up. Little did they know it was only encouraging her to push things farther with me.

The breaking point came the night of the Valentine's Dance. I had talked her into going with me under the guise of seeing our friends, getting our picture taken, and having some punch, but I got her out on the dance floor a time or two. She was too beautiful that night, I had to dance with her and show her off.

She had gone to powder her nose, as she sweetly put it, before we left for the night. As I stood near the gymnasium doorway talking to Jasper and Alice, Bella came rushing out of the restroom with tears running down her face. She frantically scanned the crowd of people and when her eyes finally fell on me, I could see her breathing hitch and a sob pour from her throat. She turned and ran towards the back door of the gym just as Jessica and Tanya walked out of the bathroom, laughing hysterically.

I ran towards Bella, glaring at the two girls as I approached them.

"What did you do to her?" I growled at them.

"Nothing, Eddie. We just told her about some of the things you like. You know, things that she obviously doesn't know about you," Jessica venomously spewed at me.

"You sluts, I can't believe I ever wasted time with either of you!" I said, anger seething from my body. I had to stop myself from knocking the smirks from their faces.

I ran out the door, desperate to find her. It was dark and cold and I knew she didn't have her jacket with her. As I stood there looking over the parking lot, my forced breaths fogging in the cold night air, I heard a sniffle coming from behind me. I turned around and saw Bella leaning against the wall, her face in her hands. Her body was shaking and I could hear the cries coming from her. I slowly walked towards her, my shoulders slumping in defeat. I had waited for something to make her finally see that I wasn't good enough for her. I hoped it would never happen, but deep in my heart I knew it would.

I didn't know what to say to her. She looked so broken, and it was because of me. Because of the stupid things I had done in my life. It killed me that those choices were causing her pain.

I stopped a few steps away from her, not knowing what to say. Praying silently that something would come to my mind, something that would make her forgive me and look past all of my faults. I needed her to be with me.

"Bella, love, please don't…" I heard my voice crack as I realized my vision was quickly becoming blurring, tears filling my eyes.

I raised my hand to touch her arm, but hesitated, not knowing if she would want me to or not. My fingers recoiled and hung frozen in the space between us. I could feel in the air that this was it, the moment that would decide our fate. She would either push me away and I would have to find a way to live without her, or she would embrace me and we would be together for the rest of our lives. It was in this moment, I could sense it, that my happiness was held captive.

She took broken breathes in an effort to stop her sobs, slowly raising her head. When her eyes met mine I saw the sadness there. I had never experienced anything this horrible before, and I didn't know what to do. I was speechless. Nothing was coming to me. My mouth opened and closed several times, in an effort to tell her how desperately I loved her, how I held her on a pedestal, how I wanted to make her happy for the rest of her life. But nothing came.

"Edward," she whispered, "the things they said to me, things that you did with them, is it true? Did you have sex with them?"

My face fell. I couldn't feel my body yet I knew my hand was rubbing over my face, my fingers then running through my hair. I didn't know what to say to her. How do you respond to something like that?

"I need to know Edward, do I mean anything to you? How could you just do that with them and be okay with it? Help me understand, Edward, because I don't get it. I really, really don't understand."

What could I say to make this right, I didn't know.

"Bella, I was an idiot before you came here. I wasn't nice. You have to understand, girls were just throwing themselves at me, and I didn't know that I should turn them down. All of the guys made it sound like I was an idiot if I didn't do stuff with them, and I was just weak. Really, that's all it was. I didn't know that someone like you even existed. I'd never met anyone like you before. You're so good and innocent and beautiful. I didn't think I would ever find someone like you. I knew that even if I did, you wouldn't want me."

I watched her as her chest continued to rise and fall, shaking with what I could only imagine felt like betrayal. She had never been hurt like this before; I knew that, yet I had done nothing to avoid it.

"I'm not good enough for you, Bella. I hurt you. Just by being me, I hurt you. I hate it that I've made you feel like this. I can't change it, but please know that I love you. That since I met you I haven't even talked to those girls. I don't even see them. All I see is you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I think about when I go to sleep."

She still wouldn't look at me, a fact that I couldn't ignore. I felt like everything we had shared over the past five months was slipping away. Her not looking at me worried me, it made me think there was no way I could save this. I had to make her see how serious I was about her; about our future together.

"Bella, when I see my future it's wrapped up in you. It's you I see walking down a flower covered aisle to me, you I see holding our babies and comforting our children, you I see sitting in a rocking chair with gray hair, you I see speaking my last words to, you I see kissing everyday for the rest of my life. You are all I want. You're all I see. Please, believe me. It's you."

I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks, not even caring that she was watching me cry. I had been defeated by this little girl, but I couldn't imagine my life without her. The biggest defensive tackles had trouble taking me down on the field, but this little girl, with just one look, had rendered me defenseless. I belonged to her, she owned me.

I started to panic as I saw resolve set across her face, her body straightening up. She raised her chin, looking at me with a new determination in her eyes. I thought at that point it was over.

She held her hand out to me. "Take me somewhere, Edward. I don't care where. I need to be with you."

Confusion set in, I didn't know what she wanted. I looked at her outstretched hand, not knowing what to do.

"What?" I whispered.

"Take me somewhere, Edward. Let's go, you and me. Take me to the road we went to that first night, the one north of town. Take me there."

"Bella, why? Tell me why you want me to do that."

"Edward, I love you. I want to be with you. I'm tired of waiting, of listening to other girls say things about you that I don't know. I want to know you, Edward. I want to know everything about you. I want to be the last girl to ever know those things. I see you, Edward. Everywhere I look, I see you. I don't want a life without you in it. The only thing of importance to me is you. Take me, Edward."

And in those three words, I knew what would happen. I knew it shouldn't happen, not that night and in that way, but I knew I would give her anything she asked for. I wasn't strong enough to tell her no.

She had defeated me.

I took a hold of her hand, lacing my fingers with hers. We walked slowly, in no great rush to take the next step. I had imagined being with her thousands of times since I met her, but now with the gravity of the situation falling on me, I was nervous. I knew what I was supposed to do, I knew how things worked, but I hadn't had sex in a long time. Bella and I had been together for five months and it was a month or so before that when I had screwed Lauren under the bleachers after a football scrimmage. I had never been nervous about sex before, aside from the first few times, and that was simply because I didn't want to make a fool of myself, but this time was different. This time I was nervous because of the girl next to me. I wanted this to be right for her. I wanted to be sure that everything I did showed her the way I felt about her. I didn't want her to ever regret having her first time be with me. No matter what happened to us, I wanted her to be glad that I was the first man to ever make love to her.

The drive was over a lot sooner than I expected it to be. As I pulled off the side of the road, I drove farther down the narrow lane than I had gone before. I realized we hadn't spoken since she asked me to take her. I knew she meant for me to take her away from the school, but it felt like she knew what she was really asking. The fact that she sat silently while we drove only enforced that thought in my mind.

I turned off the car, just leaving the radio on. It was on some silly love song station that Bella had turned it to on our way to the dance. We were both silent as the music flowed through the speakers, surrounding us and charging the air in the car.

Bella turned to me. "Can we get in the backseat, Edward?"

I just nodded. For as much as I wanted to have sex with her, I wanted her to initiate things. She needed to be in control and tell me what to do. I loved her enough to want that for her.

I got out of the car and went around to Bella's side to open her door. She stood up next to me, putting her hands on my chest and placing a kiss on the underside of my jaw. She skimmed her nose along my jaw bone towards my chin, and then kissed me softly there. She reached for the handle to the back door and opened it before slowly climbing in and sliding across the seat. I followed. I would always follow her.

It was dark, only the light from the radio illuminated us. I turned to her, fully intending to ask her if this was what she really wanted. She was looking up at me from under her long eyelashes, her teeth sinking heavily into her bottom lip. She sighed and raised her hands to my collar.

"Edward, do you know what I thought the first time I saw you?" she asked me quietly.

"No, tell me."

"I had never seen a boy as beautiful as you. When I saw your green eyes looking up at me, my heart stopped. I felt like I knew you, that I had always known you."

Her fingers played around the top button of my shirt, releasing it. Then they traveled ever so slowly down to the next button.

"I knew I shouldn't feel that way about you, Alice told me about the other girls that only befriended her to get to you. But the second I saw you, I didn't care. I had to be with you. I had to do whatever it took to get you with me."

I felt another button come undone. I reached up and placed my fingers on her cheek. I turned slightly so that I could look at her more easily, and my other hand soon raised and started playing with her hair.

"I've loved you from the instant I saw you, Edward. I've loved every moment we've spent together. Even when you're mad at me, I love you. Even when I'm jealous of other girls, I love you. Even when I think about you leaving me next year, I love you. I don't regret anything with you, Edward. Not now and not ever."

I pulled her face towards mine as my tongue brushed across my lips. I wanted to kiss her, taste her. I couldn't wait any longer.

The kiss started sweet, tender. But the urgency quickly began to build and our lips soon parted, granting access for our tongues to melt together. I felt her fingers hurry through the other buttons and soon her hands were pushing my shirt open, tracing fingers up and down my bare chest. My hands buried themselves in her hair as I yearned to pull her even closer to me. We were up against each other, yet there was still too much distance between us.

I moved my mouth to kiss her neck, to bite and suck the places that I knew she loved. The thing about being with Bella was that I knew her. I knew all the things that drove her crazy. I had never spent enough time with any other girl to know those things. I never wanted to know them before I met Bella. Knowing them made me feel powerful. My teeth grazed the soft skin under her ear and I deeply sucked on the flesh there. Her dad wouldn't be happy, but it wasn't the first hickey I had given her.

My hands soon worked their way down to Bella's shoulders and then her arms. They finally wrapped around her waist and I pulled her up, nudging her leg across me so that she was straddling my lap. I would have to thank Alice for insisting that Bella wear a skirt to the dance.

I moved my hands to the buttons on the front of Bella's shirt as my mouth continued its assault on her neck and collar bones. Bella moaned and I heard my name slip from her mouth again and again.

There were only 5 buttons on her shirt and I had them undone in seconds. As I peeled her shirt open I saw the black lace bra that awaited me. Her breasts where pushed together slightly, making them appear fuller than they really were. Bella placed her hands on either side of my face and turned my head up to look at her. She stared into my eyes with an intensity I had never seen from her before.

"Edward, I want this. I want you. Only you. No one else, ever."

That simple statement was my undoing. I kissed her ferociously, biting her bottom lip and sucking on it as I pushed her shirt off of her arms. It dropped to the floor near my feet.

She soon dipped her head to the side and began kissing my neck, running her tongue along my earlobe. It drove me crazy and I grasped around her back for the closure on her bra, finding nothing. I heard her giggle. The sex starved maniac in me didn't find the situation funny. I had never had trouble getting a bra off any other girl before, Bella included.

"Edward, you silly, the clasp is in the front," she purred to me.

I looked closer and saw that she, indeed, was right. I looked back up at her, trying to convey to her how much I loved her. We both froze as we stared at each other.

"Bella, I love you. You know that right?"

"Yes, I know."

"And I don't ever want to be with anyone but you, you know that too?"

"I know Edward, I feel the same way."

"This isn't just about sex, Bella. What we are doing here, this about love. I need to be sure you know that. I don't ever want you to doubt me or this."

"Edward, I know you love me. I know you want me. I know you never want anyone but me. I know this is about love, it's not just sex. I know all those things Edward. What I don't know is why we're still talking, why you aren't inside me."

I slid my hands around so that I could cup her face. Rubbing my thumbs across her cheekbones I slowly brought her face to mine, never breaking eye contact, and pressed my lips against hers. As we kissed I heard the song on the radio change to one that I knew well. It was one that my father played for my mother and with Bella wrapped around me like this, I finally understood what the words meant.

_Well I'm shameless, when it comes to loving you  
__I'll do anything you want me to  
__I'll do anything at all._

Bella's hands ghosted across my skin and down my chest finally landing on the waistband of my jeans. She started to fumble with the button there, but I was so caught up in kissing her and feeling her face under my hands that I couldn't stop to help her.

_You know now I'm not a man who's ever been  
__Insecure about the world I've been living in  
__I don't break easy, I have my pride  
__But if you need to be satisfied  
__I'm shameless, oh honey, I don't have a prayer  
__Every time I see you standin' there  
__I go down upon my knees.  
__And I'm changing, swore I'd never compromise  
__Oh, but you convinced me otherwise  
__I'll do anything you please._

I finally understood, there in that moment, what the song was saying. It wasn't about some guy who was weak and whipped by his girlfriend, it was about a man who was so in love with a woman that nothing else mattered. He would do anything for her. That's how I felt about Bella. I was the man in the song. I wanted her to know it, too.

I broke our kiss as Bella continued to tug at the button on my pants. I knew she was nervous and I wasn't sure if she was having trouble or if she was hesitating. I had to catch my breath before speaking.

"Edward, help me with this…" she said, out of breath.

"Okay, you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can't get it."

I could tell she was getting frustrated so I moved my hands from her face and undid the button.

I grinned at her before asking, "You want me to get the zipper too or do you think you can manage that?"

She giggled and slapped at my stomach, "I can get that one, don't worry."

_You see in all my life I've never found  
__What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down  
__I could walk away from anyone I ever knew  
__But I cant walk away from you._

"Bella, listen to the words, this is me. This is me when it comes to you."

_I have never let anything have this much control over me  
__I work too hard to call my life my own  
__And I've made myself a world and its worked so perfectly  
__But it's your world now, I can't refuse  
__I've never had so much to lose  
__Oh, I'm shameless._

"Really, Edward? You really feel like this about me?" she asked.

"Of course, how could you not know that?" I said in disbelief.

"You'll never lose me Edward. I belong to you, no one else. No matter what, I'll always be your girl."

I felt the zipper of my pants lowering as Bella moved to kiss my neck. I lifted my hands and found the clasp on her bra. As glorious as her breasts looked wrapped in the black lace, I wanted to be able to touch them and rub them and taste them. The bra had to go.

I unhooked it and gently pulled it to the sides, letting her boobs fall a little.

"You have the most amazing breasts, baby," I whispered. She really did and I was in awe every time she let me see them.

She continued to bite at my neck and I heard her sigh, "Suck on them Edward, you know what I like."

I did know what she liked. I easily kissed the upper swell of her right breast, taking the left in my hand and squeezing. I ran my nose down to the nipple and then darted my tongue out to lick it. I sucked it into my mouth, grazing it lightly with my teeth. Bella hissed and pulled her mouth back from my neck. She arched her back, pushing her chest into my face. I heard her moan as her hands clung to my bare shoulders.

Her hands lowered to push at my pants, urgently trying to get them open. I could sense the need building in her but I didn't want her to feel rushed.

"Baby, slow down. We don't have to hurry this, I'm not going anywhere," I reassured her.

_Oh, I'm shameless, shameless as a man can be  
__You make a total fool of me  
__I just wanted to you to know._

She moaned again as I took her other breast into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the hardened peak. My hands glided down her waist to her skirt. I felt her hips start to rock into me ever so slightly. I pushed my hands down along her thighs, feeling the silky fabric covering her. My fingers wrapped around the hem, lingering on the softness of her skin.

_Oh, I'm shameless, I just wanted you to know  
__Shameless…_

As I continued lavishing her tits with my mouth, her hands traced along the waist band of my boxers while my hands started to rub circles on the skin of her thighs. She was breathing heavy and the rocking of her hips continued, growing more pressured. I knew she could feel my erection against her thigh and I was hoping that she would find a way to get my clothes out of the way. I had dreamed of her taking me into her mouth, letting me cum down her throat, but I knew that wouldn't happen tonight. I was thrilled with whatever she would give me, and I knew that eventually we would get to that. We had to have something to look forward to – to work towards.

I almost gasped as I felt her hand slide between my skin and underwear, mingling with the hair of my Happy Trail. Soon the tips of her fingers were circling the head of my cock. I was sure she could feel the pre cum that was forming there and I was dying to know what she was thinking in that moment. Did she know that would happen? Did she know that was normal? Was she curious what it tasted like? No, I couldn't go there. Not tonight.

The circles my hands were tracing on her thighs began to climb higher until finally her skirt was pushed up against her hips and I could feel the edge of her panties. As I moved my fingers towards her heated center I felt her hand slip lower, grasping my hard length in her delicate fingers. Instinctively she knew what to do as she began pumping me.

I groaned in ecstasy, releasing her nipple from my mouth. She shifted back on my lap slightly and rose up on her knees.

"What, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing, except that these pants are in the way. Can you lift up a bit, let me move them down?"

"Sure."

I lifted up off the seat as her hands moved to grab the waistbands of my pants and underwear. She shimmied them down until they were near my knees, then I lowered back down onto the seat.

"Do you want to take off my panties now or later?" she asked, with her teeth pressed into her bottom lip.

"I don't care; we can work around them if you want to."

"Edward, I might bleed, right? I mean, my friends said I might bleed the first time. Is it gonna be a lot?"

I didn't know what to tell her, I'd never had sex with a virgin before, but I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of her either.

"Um, I think it's just a little bit. It will probably hurt though. We don't have to do anything Bella; we can just keep playing around."

"No Edward, we are going to do this. Stop trying to talk me out of it. I feel like I'm seducing you or something," she said with a laugh.

"Well, take them off then. It will just be easier that way," I told her.

She shifted a little bit and brought both of her legs to her right side and easily slid her panties down.

"Should I take off my skirt too?" she asked.

"No, leave it on, its okay."

She lifted her leg to straddle my lap again and wrapped her hand back around my cock.

"Oh Bella, you have no idea how good that feels," I sighed.

She smiled and teased me, "It will feel even better in a minute."

I moved my hands back to her thighs and quickly pushed them under her skirt. My right hand traveled up her leg until I reached her center and slowly moved my fingers to her lips there, surprised at how wet she was for me. I stroked my fingers back and forth, spreading the liquid there before finally plunging a finger into her.

I felt her body start to shake as she called out my name. It made my heart soar knowing that no one else had ever touched her like this before.

We continued touching each other, making each other feel good, and I watched her face, amazed at how beautiful she was. She was so relaxed and carefree in that moment.

"You're so beautiful, Love. I could stare at you like this for the rest of my life."

"Oh Edward, the way you make me feel… I never knew it could feel like this."

I quickly added another finger to her wet pussy. I knew I would need to stretch her out a little if I wanted to save her some pain. Her hand continued sliding up and down my cock, squeezing tightly and turning over the tip, spreading the cum that was steadily pooling there. My thumb soon found her clit and started rubbing it gently.

"Edward!" She groaned loudly. Her hips soon began rocking with a new vengeance, stronger and more determined. She stroked me harder and faster as I continued to suck and lick and kiss every inch of her chest and neck that I could reach.

"I'm ready, Edward. I want you in me. I need you in me, please…" she said.

I added a third finger to her wetness, hoping she could hold off for just another minute.

I looked up at her and pulled my fingers out of her. "Lift up, get up on you knees and come closer to me," I said.

She let go of my cock, which was standing on it's own by this point, and shifted closer to me, her wet pussy hovering over me. My hand was still covered in her juices and I wrapped it around myself, spreading the wetness on me in an effort to reduce the friction between us when I entered her.

"Now what?" she panted as she waited for me to tell her what to do next.

"You need to lower yourself really slowly onto me, okay? Don't go too fast, give yourself a chance to stretch out some. It might hurt less that way. If you need to, stop. Anytime you need to, alright?" I instructed her.

"Okay, I trust you," she said, though I saw worry on her face as her brow furrowed and she dug her teeth into her bottom lip. She was scared and even though I was doing everything I could think of to reassure her, I felt like I should do more. I should be more attentive to her and take my time, but she was ready and having her with me like this was clouding my judgment.

"Just relax, don't be too tense. It'll be easier, I promise."

I angled my cock until the tip was sliding along her wet folds. I felt her shiver above me and her eyes closed and she mewed as her fingers dug into my shoulders. Her hips rocked back and forth, rubbing her soaking heat on my arousal. My left hand grabbed onto her hip and stilled her. I lined up my cock to her entrance and whispered to her, "Now, let it in."

She slowly started to lower onto me. As my tip entered her body I began to feel how tight she was going to be. No other girl I had ever been with had been this tight. Part of me wished she would just plunge down and start riding me.

She continued to ease onto me and soon I felt the barrier of her hymen. She paused, breathing heavily.

"Are you okay baby?" I said in the sweetest voice I could muster.

"Yeah, give me a minute. I heard this is the part that hurts. Just hold on."

I still had my hand wrapped around my cock, so I carefully started stroking myself. Bella opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Do you know how hot that is baby?" she said.

"What?"

"You stroking yourself while you slide into me?"

I laughed and replied, "Do you have any idea what your tight little pussy is doing to my big, hard cock?"

She laughed and lowered herself more. When I saw her face winch in pain my hand on her hip dug in to keep her from moving any lower.

"Edward, it's not bad. I just want to get past this part. Hold still."

As I watched her face I could see the 'rip off the band aid' expression I had seen so many times before – Bella was always a fan of doing things quickly to avoid pain. Before I could stop her, she forced herself down on me completely, letting me fill her totally. My dick was so overjoyed that it made my mouth stop working. I tried to protest to her, but no words came out. She stilled for a moment then she started rocking again and I thought I would die.

I was in the back seat of my awesome car, buried in the most beautiful girl in the world, sucking on the most amazing set of tits ever created, and listening to total chick music. I was the happiest jerk on the planet.

As she rocked faster towards me, my hips started to push up into her. She moaned as I grunted and I opened my eyes to watch her as I felt her body start to quiver.

"Edward, oh Edward… I think I'm close baby."

"Let go Bella, just do what feels good," I told her, watching her face closely.

Her breathing started to pick up and her fingers grasped for my skin. Her face was so calm, yet her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought. Her movements got faster and faster, spurring me on. I pounded harder and harder up into her, trying to make the connection as close as possible.

Suddenly I felt her take a deep breathe as her back arched, her head falling against the headrest of the front seat. Her hands shot up to the roof of the car in an effort to steady herself. She let out a long moan followed by my name a few times and I could feel her inner walls clenching down on my dick. I grabbed her hips a little harder and pushed into her three more times before finally filling her with my cum. I held her body to mine as we both rode out the orgasms we were experiencing. No words were said, only breathing and gasping.

When I finally opened my eyes to look at her, I could see that her eyes were still closed and she had tears running down her face. My heart stopped. I had hurt her. I let my own desires get in the way and hadn't been as gentle as I should have been with her.

"Bella, honey, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Please, tell me what's wrong."

Her eyes opened and she looked down at me. "Baby, there's nothing wrong. Everything is exactly right. That was perfect. Really, it was so amazing, I can't help but cry. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. For the rest of my life, no matter what, I will always remember this moment here with you, the way I feel and the look on your face. I love you so much Edward. I don't ever want to forget this."

More tears fell from her eyes as she leaned over to kiss me sweetly on the lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we held each other for what seemed like hours. I rubbed her back and sang quietly to her as I felt her continue to cry, her breath hitching every so often.

"I love you Bella. Forever, Love. Forever," I whispered softly in her ear.

"Forever," she said to me.

It wasn't until later as we got dressed that I realized I forgot the condom. I'd never had sex with a girl without using a condom, so I wasn't sure how I had forgotten it. I didn't think it was a good time to mention it to Bella, though I'm sure she knew. I decided that I would ask her later if maybe she was on the pill, and besides, what where the odds of her getting pregnant the first time we had sex? Millions of people had sex every day with no condom and they never had babies. I knew we would be okay, I had faith.

I had to. Our future depended on it.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

We grew closer and closer over the few months after Valentine's Day, and our physical relationship flourished as well. We almost got caught several times by either my parents or Chief Swan, and to be honest, I was scared to death of him and his gun, but we always managed to come up with a good cover story. I'm sure our parents knew more than they said, but they never tried to keep us apart. Lucky for us we had my car and her truck, both of which saw a lot of nakedness that spring. We managed to remember a condom almost every time we had sex. We never talked about the first time, but it had been three months and Bella never mentioned any complications from that night, so I figured we were in the clear.

The last week of school had finally arrived and when I got home from graduation rehearsal, I was excited to see Bella's truck in the driveway. We hadn't had much time together since things had been busy all week; both of us had finals and other end of school stuff to do. Bella had been in a bad mood for days. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I tried to be supportive and give her the space that she seemed to need. I couldn't ignore the nagging in the back of my mind that something was very wrong. She was going to be spending a few weeks over the summer in Florida with her mom, but we had arranged for me to go out half way through her time there and then fly home with her.

It had been a week since I had given Bella the promise ring I chose for her. It had a single emerald with three small diamonds on each side and a gold band. When I slid it on her left ring finger I finally felt like my future was set – she was really mine and we would spend the rest of our lives together. The two years apart while she finished high school would be challenging, but I had faith in our devotion to one another. We would make it.

As I entered the house I wondered where Bella was. I was anxious to see her, to hold her. Graduation was the next night and I had something special planned. Most of the kids from school were going to all night graduation parties, so I told our parents we were going too, but I reserved a hotel room for us in Port Angeles instead. I was going to spend an entire night alone in a hotel with my girl. Graduation couldn't get over soon enough for me.

I walked into the kitchen and could hear Bella talking in the living room. It sounded like she and Alice were discussing something. I didn't want to eavesdrop but I didn't want to interrupt either. I hesitated in the kitchen before letting them know I was there.

"Alice, there just isn't any other way; I can't ruin him like this. Please, just be my friend. Help me, please."

"Bella, are you kidding me? You have to tell him, there is no way that you can not tell him! What are you thinking?"

"No, I've looked over all the paperwork and this is the only way. This is the only thing I can do, Alice. I love him so much, you don't understand. I can't be _that girl_, Alice. Not for him."

"Bella, don't you get it, you're not _that girl_, you're _the girl_. There is no other girl for him. There never will be. It won't matter; all the things running through your head are never going to happen. Please, tell him."

"No, I've already decided. Everything is taken care of. Promise me Alice; promise me that you will never ever say anything about this to anyone. Please Alice, I'm begging you. Please just be my best friend, one last time."

"Bella… What am I going to do without you?"

I could hear them both crying and I had no idea what they were talking about. What did Alice mean by what was she going to do without Bella? Was Bella going somewhere? Maybe she had figured out a way that she could come to be near me for the next two years. That must be it. We were planning to get married anyway, maybe her dad finally said it was okay for her to live with her aunt that was only 15 miles from the university.

I couldn't wait to talk to her, I had to know what was going on. I walked down the small hallway and into the living room.

"Hey," I said. Alice had Bella in a strong embrace and at the sound of my voice both girls quickly pulled away from each other. I saw the tears on both of their faces and a sense of dread filled me. Something was very wrong.

Alice quickly stood up and ran from the room without looking at me. I watched her run up the stairs and towards her bedroom before turning around to look at Bella.

"Baby, what's going on? Are you alright? Why are you guys crying?" I asked in a somewhat panicked tone.

Bella's gaze fell to the floor and I watched her wringing her hands together. She was nervous.

"Edward, come sit down for a minute," she quietly said. "I need to talk to you."

I flew to the couch and sat beside her. I was surprised when she scooted away from me, putting distance between us.

"Edward, I don't know where to start. This past year has been the best time of my life, I have been so happy with you. I've never felt so loved before. But I'm not being fair to you. I want you to be happy and I know that you can't be if you go away to college and leave me here waiting for you. I want you to have experiences there that you just won't get if you're with me."

I was shocked at what I was hearing. "Bella, no, I'm happy with you. That's all I want from my life, to be with you. I don't need any crazy college life, all I need is you. We've been over this a million times, I'm not missing out on anything. I don't feel like I'll be missing anything at all by – "

"Edward stop! Listen to me, you are going to miss things and I don't want to be the girl that keeps you from enjoying yourself. I don't want you to look back on your life 20 years from now and resent me for holding you back. You need to – "

"No Bella, we aren't talking about this anymore. We are staying together and that's it. We're getting married in a few years. Besides, when I'm at school all of my time will be spent in class or doing homework or practicing or away at games – I'm not going to have time to do anything else. I won't be missing anything."

She sighed and her shoulders straightened. She looked up at me, staring into my eyes.

"Edward, don't do this. Please just listen to me and understand that this is what's best for you. It's what's best for me. Do you really think it's good for me to sit here pining away for you for two years? Do you really think that's in my best interest?"

I couldn't argue with that logic. I knew it wasn't best for her and I knew she deserved to enjoy her last two years of high school, but it killed me to think of her with anyone but me. I didn't want to imagine her laughing with other boys, going on dates with other boys, kissing other boys, being in the backseat with other boys. I was too selfish and I would die before I sat back and watched that happen.

"Bella, it's not going to be like that. You know I would never hold you back. I want you to have fun with your friends and enjoy yourself. I just want you to be with me, too. You can do both of those things, I won't stop you. I just need…I need for at the end of the day, for you to be with me."

She looked at me, sadness filling her eyes. I could tell that she was wavering in her decision and I hoped that my words would be enough to convince her that her train of thought was the wrong one. As the tears began to pool in her eyes I reached out to take her hand and I rubbed the ring on her finger with my thumb.

"I gave you this because I meant it. I wanted you to have something of me while I'm not here. I didn't chose the emerald just because it was pretty, I chose it because you're always saying how my eyes are this color of green, and I wanted you to be able to look at it when I'm not here and see me in it. I want you to know that for as long as you wear this ring, I am always with you. You're my life, Bella. I could never love anyone else the way I love you."

She started to cry, tears running down her face. She pulled her hand away and started to remove the ring and my world skidded to a stop.

"Take the ring Edward, I can't keep it anymore. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough."

She pulled off the ring and placed it in my hand. She sighed and said in a whisper, "You're the only man I'll ever love. Know that and please don't hate me for this. It's the only way, trust me, everything is better this way." She stood up and started to walk towards the door and I sat staring at the ring, knowing I couldn't let her leave me.

I jumped up and ran to her, grabbing her arms and turning her around to face me.

"No Bella, I'm not letting you do this to us. We belong together. You know it!"

"Please, just let me go Edward. You know this is right…"

"Bella, no. I won't let you walk out of here like this. I won't. You mean everything to me and I will never stop fighting for you – for us. _We_ are right, Bella. You know it."

"I used to think so," she quietly said. I could tell from her tone of voice that she meant it. In her mind we were over. I felt the tears fill my eyes, stinging and threatening to run over.

"Baby, please don't leave me. You know I can't make it without you. You know I won't live without you." It was a selfish thing for me to do, to appeal to her sense of compassion by threatening to hurt myself if she left me. I knew it as the words came out of my mouth, but I didn't care. If it made her stop and realize that we belonged together then I would do it everyday for the rest of my life.

"Don't say that. Please, no matter what happens, you can't hurt yourself. Ever, Edward. I can't live in a world where you don't exist. No matter where I am, I need to know that you are real. That what we had was real. That you did love me. I need to know that."

It was over. My life, everything I had planned for our future, over. Done. It was clear to me that there was no way to make her change her mind. I had to have faith that one day soon she would realize how right we were for each other. I knew I had to let her go today, but I would spend every second of every minute trying to win her back. We had the summer together before I left for college, and I would go out of my way to make sure I saw her every day. I wouldn't stop fighting for us.

"Bella, take this ring. Wear it. I gave it to you, just like my heart. I meant what I said; as long as you wear this I will be with you. You own me, Bella. Whether you want me or not, I'm yours. Please, just wear it. Everyday. Look at it and remember that wherever I am, I am in love with you."

I slid the ring back on to her finger then held her hand as I looked up into her face. She was sobbing and I was surprised when she raised her free hand and let her fingers trace the tears that were falling down my cheeks. For a second time she was watching me cry, but I didn't care. Without her nothing mattered to me. I had no pride left, I was shameless like the song said.

She cupped my face and slowly rose on her toes, bringing herself closer to me. Her lips gently grazed mine in a sweet, soft kiss. I rested my forehead against hers as our lips parted. She closed her eyes and whispered softly, "Forever, Love. Forever."

And she was gone.

I replayed her words over and over in my mind for the next several hours. I still didn't fully understand what had happened, how she could have given up on us so easily when I heard her telling Alice how much she loved me only moments before she left. Alice had been avoiding me since Bella had gone; but she knew something and she wasn't telling me. For whatever reason, she was keeping her promise to Bella and being a friend to her and I couldn't help but wonder how her loyalties could lie with Bella and not me – I was her brother.

As I sat through the graduation ceremony, my eyes searched the crowd looking for Bella. She had to be there. I was just hoping to find her, to talk her into spending the night with me. I knew that if I could just get her alone at the hotel, then I could convince her of my feelings and she would change her mind. When the ceremony was finally over I walked around through the sea of people until I finally found Alice standing with Jasper. She was whimpering at his side.

"Alice, where's Bella? I need to talk to her but I haven't seen her, do you know where she is?" I asked as I ran to her and noticed she was sniffling.

"No Edward, I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her today, but leave her alone Edward, she doesn't need you making a scene here in front of everyone."

Alice hadn't seen her. That wasn't good. As I walked away I soon saw Chief Swan standing near my father and they looked to be in a serious conversation.

"Excuse me, Chief Swan, where's Bella? I can't find her and I need to talk to her." The Chief turned and looked at me, his eyes filled with a sadness I had only seen once before, the night of the Valentine's Dance when Bella found out about my past. My father placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed slightly before he turned his downcast eyes and walked away towards my mother, who stood silently close by.

"Edward, son, Bella isn't here tonight." The Chief had never called me 'son' before. That combined with the look on his face should have told me right then and there what had happened.

"Well, where is she? We were supposed to go out to a few of the graduation parties tonight."

"Son, she left this morning," he said stoically. I turned and saw my mother crying into my father's chest, obviously knowing more than I did about what was happening.

"She left where? I don't understand."

"She was on a plane this morning. She went back to Florida to live with her mother. She's not coming back, Edward."

Things around me started to spin. She left? She wasn't coming back? Why?

"Edward," the Chief said while placing his hand on my shoulder, "she said to tell you that she's sorry but that this is the best way. Now, I've already told your parents that Bella doesn't want you following her out there, so please don't get any ideas about that. She's turning off her cell phone as soon as she gets a new one, so don't bother calling her. You need to just get on with your life, go to college, make friends, enjoy yourself. Don't worry about her anymore, okay?"

"No!" I shouted, "It's not okay! I love her more than anything in this world and I will never stop fighting for her. How could you let her do this? You know she wasn't happy there, how could you let her leave? She doesn't belong there; she belongs here, with me!" I shouted angrily.

I didn't want to start crying in front of all the people there, so I had to get away.

I ran to the parking lot and found my car, throwing myself inside and driving as fast and far as I could, with no real destination in mind. I soon found myself on a deserted road north of town, so I pulled onto the small lane and parked the car. I remembered what had happened right in that spot only a few months before. At that time my life was perfect. Now I sat there with nothing by ashes all around me. I had nothing. I saw my cell phone sitting in the console and I grabbed it. I didn't stop to think that Miami was three hours ahead of me and that Bella would most likely be asleep after traveling all day. I didn't care. I had to talk to her. I dialed the number that I knew by heart and waited. Finally the ringing stopped.

"Hello?" I heard a groggy voice say.

"Bella?" I asked, "Bella, is that you?"

"Edward…"

"What the hell, Bella? How could you do this to us? You just got on a plane and left me here? How could you… Why did you do that?" I was yelling so loudly that I was probably scaring her, but I was mad. I didn't care about her feelings at that moment. She obviously didn't care about mine.

"Edward, I told you yesterday, this is for the best. Please, don't hate me. Just get on with you life and forget about me."

"That's never gonna happen, Bella! Don't you get it? I can't live my life without you! I don't want to! I can't believe you did this. What on earth made you do this? I'm gonna get on a plane tomorrow and come out there, we're gonna get this whole thing straightened out now!"

"No, Edward, don't do that! You can't come here. Ever! I don't want to see you. Please don't make me say it again." Her voice was rising with frustration and anger, but there was something more there, something that I couldn't quite tell. She sounded scared.

"Bella, what do you mean you don't want to see me? Why not?"

"Leave me alone Edward! I don't ever want to see you again!" she screamed into the phone. "Don't you get it, I ran as far away from Forks as I possibly could, just to get away from you. You're a smart man, figure it out! Don't call me. Don't write me. Don't come see me. Just leave me alone!"

I heard the line go dead and was shocked that she had hung up on me. I closed my phone and sat in the silence, sobs wracking my body.

I had nothing.

As the sun dawned the next morning my tears were finally beginning to fade. Bella left me, for what reason I would never know, but she never wanted to see me again. I had to find a way to live without her; however I knew in my soul that I would never be truly happy if I didn't have her. Deep in my heart I knew that as long as she was happy, I would be okay. All I ever wanted was her happiness, and if being away from me would make her happy, then I would sacrifice my own life to make sure she got everything she wanted. I would survive, as long as I knew she was happy.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

It had been over 4 years since I last saw Bella. I hadn't heard her voice since she screamed at me through the phone, telling me to leave her alone. Now here I sat in front of a house on a hot summer day. I was scared to knock on the door and nervous of what I would find.

College had gone well. I played a lot of ball, took a lot of classes, and screwed a lot of girls. Everything I did was done in an effort to get the vision of Bella out of my head.

Nothing worked.

I was home in Forks one weekend visiting my parents between visits to colleges. I was trying to find the right medical school and I had been everywhere so far. None of them seemed to fit what I was looking for. I had one more option, The University of Miami. I was scheduled to meet with their advisors the next week to tour the campus and see the surrounding area. I had lined up a rental car so I could do a little exploring of the city on my own. I searched the phone books and information to see if Bella's name popped up anywhere. I wanted to see her, just see if she was okay. But I found nothing.

I searched the student directory for the university, but nothing was there either. I had to face the fact that she was probably not in Miami anymore, or maybe had a different last name now. That prospect made me sad, but I still wanted to see if she was happy, just to check for my own peace of mind.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a couple stacks of wedding announcements. Alice and Jasper were getting married in a few weeks and she had been working on her announcements for months it seemed. The top envelope on one of the stacks was addressed to my aunt, the one under that to a cousin, the one under that to an old classmate. I continued to look through them, curious as to whom Alice was inviting and my heart stopped when I looked at the 10th envelope. _Ms. Bella Swan._ And there was an address – a Miami address.

I stared at it, unsure of what to do. Quickly, before anyone else could walk into the room and stop me, I grabbed a pen and piece of notepad paper and wrote the address down. I carefully stacked all of the envelopes back up the way they were and ran to my bedroom, anxious to get online and MapQuest the address.

I didn't know what to expect from seeing her as I looked at the little blue house with the bright yellow and orange flowers in the front yard. It wasn't very big, but it was cute. I hadn't seen anyone come or go during the hour that I sat in my car parked across the street. Finally, I gave in to my curiosity and I approached the house. Walking slowly up the sidewalk, I stopped at the door and hesitated. Would she be happy to see me? What if she was married? She couldn't be though, since the invitation said Ms. Bella Swan. What if there was a man in her life, what would I do? Could I really just walk away if I saw that she was happy without me? What if she was still wearing my ring? Could I take that as a sign that she still loved me?

"Excuse me, sir," I heard someone shout from the house next door. I glanced up and saw a woman looking at me.

I raised my hand and pointed to my chest and said, "Who, me?"

"Yes, you," she replied.

I walked towards her slowly, unsure of what she wanted from me. She looked to be busy working in her flower garden, planting little purple flowers. I choked back a laugh when I noticed her hot pink gardening gloves that were the same color as the ones my mother wore. She was an older woman, and I wondered how well she knew Bella, though from the look of the houses in the neighborhood, I could imagine block parties happened there on a monthly basis. She had a pleasant smile and I instantly felt that I could trust her.

"I don't think they're home right now, you might want to come back later."

"Oh, do you know when they'll be back?" I asked, curiously.

"No, I think they took the little boy down the street to the beach. He had his blue football with him, cute little guy."

Bella and a little boy? But she said _they_ took him. My heart immediately sunk because I knew Bella _was_ with someone. I tried to keep my breathing regular as not to alert the woman to my distress.

"Bella lives here, right?" I asked, wanting to make sure I had the right house and the right girl.

"Yes, Bella and that cute little boy, E.C. You should see that boy throw a football, he's a natural, I tell you what."

"What beach did they go to, do you know?"

"Yeah, just at the end of the street. The road turns and the parking lot is right there. They usually walk down there so you might pass them on your way."

"Thanks so much, I really appreciate it," I told her sincerely. She smiled at me and waved as I jogged towards my car.

I rushed to the end of the street and found the parking lot, pulling all the way through and parking on the end. I got out of the car, putting a baseball hat and sunglasses on in an effort to disguise myself a little. My bronze hair always made me easy to pick out in a crowd and I didn't want to chance Bella seeing me before I saw her.

I walked over to the sidewalk that was running along the parking lot and found that there were several people out but it wasn't overly crowded. I walked towards a building that looked to house a concession stand and restrooms. As I approached the other side I saw her.

She was in the sand, standing next to a man who looked to be a few years older than her, and there was a little boy clinging to her leg. My heart stopped. It was true, she moved on. I tried to make myself turn and run back to the car but my feet were frozen. My body craved her and I couldn't turn away. I had to drink in as much of her as I could.

The man next to her picked up the football and the little boy took off running in the opposite direction. The man threw the ball and the boy jumped to catch it as Bella cheered and laughed. It was at that point that I truly realized how much I missed her.

"Good catch, E.C.! Throw it back, let's see how far you throw it, baby!" she yelled.

Even the sound of her voice stirred me. I yearned for her, and she was within my grasp. All I had to do was walk out and yell her name, but instead I stood hidden away near the building. I remained still for a few minutes watching the three of them play with the football. The neighbor woman was right; the little boy was a natural talent. He looked to be about three years old or so and he was stunningly beautiful, just like Bella.

Soon, I heard the ball hit the side of the building and I crouched down so as not to be seen in case they glanced over towards where the ball had gone. I heard little footsteps running towards me and I looked up to meet the brown eyes that I had fallen in love with, only they were in another face.

"Hey mister, did you see my ball?" he called to me.

"Yeah, it's right here," I said as I picked up the blue ball with the gold and white W on it and handed it to him.

"Thanks!" he said and turned to run back to the sand.

I stood there watching the three of them run and laugh and play together. I could see the joy in Bella's smile, the happiness on her face. She was okay, she had moved on, she made a life for herself without me, and she was happy. I could never threaten that. All I wanted was for her to be happy, and she was.

I stared for a few more moments, memorizing the way her long hair laid across her back. The way her shirt stretched over her fuller, more womanly curves. The way her smile was brighter than the sun. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of her laughter, the beauty in her voice as she called encouragingly to her little boy. As I opened my eyes to see her one last time, I noticed the sun light sparkle against a stone on her left ring finger. I saw the man next to her had a ring on his finger too. She had found love on the beaches of Miami. Her destiny never lied in the forests of Washington.

I gazed upon her for the last time, letting the words I had clung to for four years slip from my tongue, "Forever, Love. Forever."

I smiled towards her, happy for her and her life. I turned and walked to my car, anxious to leave and get back to my world. As I drove away I realized something – I was leaving my heart on that beach with a brown eyed girl. It was never really mine to begin with; it had always belonged to her.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As the little family ran and played in the sand, the sun began to descend in the sky.

"E.C., baby, we gotta get home soon. Get your ball so we can go."

"Momma, I wanna 'tay here longer," the little brown eyed boy whined to his mother.

"Come on E.C., listen to your Momma, we gotta get going before it gets dark," the man standing next to his mother said.

"Don't you want to make those cookies today, sweetie? You remember what happened last time Nana Renee tried to make cookies without your help don't you?" the mother jokingly said. The three of them laughed, remembering the house full of smoke as the cookies burned in the oven.

"Bella, you can't ever let your mother forget that, no matter what!" the man said with a loud laugh.

"Papa Phil, don you like Nana ta make cookies for you?" the little boy innocently asked the man.

"Of course I do, but cookies taste much better when little grandsons help make them," he said sweetly to the boy.

The mother quickly took hold of the little boy's hand, his grandfather taking his other hand. The three of them walked down the sidewalk towards their home, unaware of the silver car driving past them and the driver inside silently watching them walk away.

"Momma, can I watch daddy on da TV today?" the little boy asked his mother.

"Honey, he's not on today, but you can watch your video, how about that? You want to watch his football game in the snow or that one in the rain? Which one is your favorite?"

"I like him in da snow, he was shakey and cold, huh Momma?" he giggled.

"Yeah, baby, I'm sure he was."

The mother looked down at her left hand, seeing the green stone staring back at her from her ring finger. She remembered a pair of eyes the same color as the stone and the promise that the boy they belonged to had made to her—_Look at it and remember that wherever I am, I am in love with you._

She closed her eyes and whispered softly to herself, "Forever, Love. Forever."

The family continued down the sidewalk towards their home, with a little three year old boy proudly wearing his daddy's jersey under his jacket, the name CULLEN written boldly across the back, his bronze hair hidden beneath his baseball cap.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: **

**How about some rec's? I think today will be Friend Day so here are some of my friends for you. I love this…**

**A Beautiful Mess by Risbee and coldplaywhore - It's so good and they are two of my besties, so check them out! This story is awesome!  
****http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5560057/1/**

**And something complete…**

**Compromises and Promises by husmcn – I love this story. She just finished it up and I cried. I'll miss it.  
****http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5290459/1/**

**Leave me some love and then head over to chapter 2, let's see what kinda ride these poor kids are in for… **


	2. Chapter 2 Everytime

**AN: Nope, I don't own this, but we all know who does. What I do own is a weakness for pretty songs and an obsession with matching the right one to the right chapter. Oh, and a dog that won't stop barking…**

*****READ THIS*****

**Let's avoid any and all confusion…this is NOT an expansion of the alternate ending I posted last month. This continuation is all new, totally different, and a complete emotional roller coaster ride. We're gonna be all over the place, so don't say I didn't warn you! The alternate ending with its HEA is attached to the original story, so feel free to read that if you like. But this is not it!**

**This chapter picks up exactly where the o/s left off. Edward does NOT know who E.C. is, other than he's Bella's son. He DOES think that Bella is married. **

**Okay, that's out of the way.**

**Thanks to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore**_**. I confused the holy heck out of her with this thing, which was shocking in and of itself, but the fact that she only cursed twice in her e-mail to me makes me think my No Cursing Policy is starting to have an affect on her. Well, maybe that's just wishful thinking…**

**Thanks to My Constants… **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys)**_**. I adore you, as the little blue sparkly unicorns I sent you would suggest.**

**Thanks to **_**ArdnaidOcirg**_**for agreeing to trade a copy of something that was "supposedly" leaked this week with an advance look at this chapter, and then telling me what she thought of it. Thank you deary!**

**Thank you all for being so wonderful and sweet to me. I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you. I think I'll try and update weekly, so we'll see how it goes.**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 2 – Everytime

_Notice me, take my hand  
Why are we strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me_

_Everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby_

"Everytime" by Britney Spears

As I boarded the Seattle bound plane, my mind remained unsettled. It had been three days since I saw Bella on the beach. Three days since I found out about E.C. and three days since my future imploded. I had nothing left. Even though I had known for the last four years that Bella was gone and we would most likely not spend our lives together like I had planned, in the back of my mind I always hoped that I was wrong. I always hoped that I would find her, that she would come back to me. Seeing her on the beach with her new family ended my hopes, and it broke my heart all over again.

I sat silently on the flight home, not talking or even making eye contact with anyone. My plan was to stay drunk for the entire flight; it had been working for the past three days so I didn't see any need to stop now. I motioned to one of the flight attendants that I wanted something to drink. She was blonde, totally stacked, and flirting like a hooker working her street corner, but I wasn't interested in anything more than liquor she was serving. Two weeks ago I would have had her bent over the sink in the tiny airplane bathroom, screaming my name as she came all over my dick, but after seeing Bella I honestly didn't care if I ever had sex again.

Bella was been even more beautiful than I remembered. I loved the changes in her body; she wasn't a girl anymore, she was a woman. Her hips were curvier, her butt more round, and her breasts so much fuller. Even her face was different, yet she still looked the same. I could tell it was her, but she was more mature. I felt like I looked the same as I did in high school, but I knew I had changed. My body was more developed, a result of college football, and I was taller and my shoulders were broader. I wondered if she would have recognized me. If I had shown myself, would she have known it was me? The thought had haunted me since the second I drove away from the beach, watching her walk along the sidewalk with her family.

Her family. That thought bothered me. Not just because she moved on from me – I expected her to, I wanted her to be happy so why would I ever be angry with her for finding that happiness? No, it bothered me for some reason that I couldn't quite pin point. Her son looked to be about three, maybe four years old. That just didn't seem possible. I went over the time frame again and again in my mind. It had been a little over four years since she left me. There was no way she could have a four year old son. For her to have a three year old it would mean that she had met someone right after leaving me. Was that why she left me? Did she have someone else waiting for her?

Even in my drunken stupor I realized that it didn't seem likely; I knew Bella had been in love with me, and she never would have cheated on me. That couldn't be it. I downed my second beer and wondered if the little boy belonged to the man that she was with, her husband. They both had rings on, they lived together, they had to be married. The more I thought about the little boy, the more I knew in my heart that he was Bella's son. His eyes, the sparkle they had, came from Bella. No one else could ever look like that. He was her son, he had to be, but how? I was missing something, but I just couldn't figure it out.

As the plane descended into Seattle, my mind hadn't cleared at all during the flight. If anything, I had more questions than ever. It frustrated me because I knew that unless I went back to Miami and confronted Bella, I would never get any answers. I was grumbling to myself about that as I disembarked the plane, wondering how much longer until I could get another drink. The blonde flight attendant smiled brightly at me as I walked by, reaching out to shake my hand. I thought it rather odd that she did that, until I felt the scrap of paper in my palm. She winked at me as our hands dropped and I instinctively pushed my hand into my pants pocket, saving the phone number that I was certain was written on the paper. It wasn't the first one I had received, and as much as I may not want it, I knew it wouldn't be the last. Girls has always been drawn to me, so why wasn't Bella? I smiled politely, the urge to get away from her quickly building in my gut.

I walked into the terminal, searching the crowds for my father who was supposed to be meeting me. I spotted a bar and decided to sit down and have a drink while I waited for him. On my way towards it I saw a mop of blonde, wavy hair with a cheesy grin and a big sign bearing the words "Hot Blonde Looking for Sexy Hetero Life Partner – Won't You Be My Neighbor?" written in bold black marker. It might not have been so bad if he hadn't drawn little flowers, rainbows, and unicorns all over it. _Only Jasper._ When he finally picked me out of the crowd he squealed like a fan girl, shouting my name at the top of his lungs. I laughed at him and squirmed when he rushed towards me, almost tackling me to the ground in his effort to hug me. If anyone could pull me up out of my slump, it was him. I loved my dad, but now that I knew Jasper was here I was actually looking forward to the long drive home.

"Dude! Where've you been all my life?" he said loud enough for several people around to turn and look at us.

"Cut it out Jazz, you jerk. Can't you just pick me up like a normal person? Besides, you're supposed to be marrying my sister in a couple weeks, how do you think she'd take it if you told her you were shacking up with me?"

"Oh, I see how it is. So quickly you forget, I did shack up with you man, for four years! It was called college, remember? Didn't I make any impression on you at all?"

I laughed at the hurt look he was trying to give me. "Yeah baby, you left an impression alright, don't you worry about that. I think my butt has a permanent imprint from your lips on it, all the kissing you did trying to get on my good side. Sucks for you that I'm your girl's big brother, huh?"

As we stood there teasing each other, the flight attendants made their way into the terminal, the busty blonde one making sure to walk closely by me. "Hope you had a nice flight, sir," she said in a sugary sweet voice.

I looked at her and smiled, cringing as she ran her fake fingernails across my jawbone. She continued walking, swinging her hips a little more forcefully than normal, and I noticed the other women with her looking back at me and snickering to themselves. Jasper watched the display and turned to me, his eyes brightly lit with wonder and excitement.

"Nice Cullen, you join the mile high club today? It was a long flight, after all."

"Jasper, you know I've been a member of that club for years. You do realize that college football teams fly to things like bowl games, right? You think I let chances like that pass me up?" I said with an air of superiority.

"Dude, seriously?" he asked, his voice ripe with disbelief.

"You know, if you're careful, you can fit two flight attendants in one of those bathrooms. After a couple hours of serving rude passengers, they'll do pretty much anything you ask them to do to you, or to each other." I smirked at him as his mouth hung open.

"Cullen, did you ever know that you're my hero? Everything I wish I could be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings," he said dramatically, singing the last few lines horribly out of tune. I laughed at him and we walked out of the airport. For just a few moments Jasper had managed to make me forget my problems. It only lasted a few moments.

As we drove through the city streets towards the road that would take us back to Forks, I saw a neon sign calling to me. "Hey, pull over, I wanna drive through that place."

Jasper looked at me like I had sprouted another head. "What, the drive thru liquor joint? Are you crazy? We don't even have to worry about getting car jacked in this neighborhood; the cashier will rob us instead! No way am I pulling over there. You can wait 'til we get home."

It was kind of ridiculous, a drive thru liquor store. Promote drunk driving much? I could feel my buzz wearing off and I was worried about being sober around my family so soon after seeing Bella. I hadn't worked through the whole thing yet and I didn't want to lose it in front of them.

"Dude, are you okay?" Jasper quietly asked me. He looked carefully at me, taking in my mood and demeanor.

"Yeah," I replied, "it was just a long flight. I'll be fine."

"How was the school? Did you like it?"

"Yeah, it was perfect, exactly what I'm looking for," I said, then mumbled under my breath, "Not like it matters."

"What did you say?" he asked me, not having heard my comment clearly the first time.

I turned to look at him. Jasper was my best friend, if there was any one person that I could talk to about this, it would be him. He would know what to say and he wasn't afraid to tell me when I was being a baby about things. I sighed then looked down at my hands folded in my lap, "I said it's not like it matters. I can't go to Miami."

"Why not? Esme will get over it; you can't live down the hall from her for the rest of your life," he teased.

"No, it's not that. I just… I can't be in Miami."

He looked curiously as me. "Why can't you be in Miami, Edward? What am I missing?"

I debated over what to say, finally deciding on the truth. "I saw something Jazz, I can't be there. I'll go insane if I'm there."

"Okay, I know something is going on," he said accusingly. "First off you're drunk and it's only the middle of the afternoon. Then you totally blew off that tight, hot stewardess. That's not like you. Now you want more booze and you're all emo. Something's not right."

"Yeah, that chick even gave me her phone number. You want it? You sure seem taken with her. I won't even tell Alice," I snidely remarked to him, getting somewhat annoyed at how often he had brought up that stupid woman from the plane.

"Don't even joke about that. You know how Alice is, it's like she has a sixth sense or something. She knows stuff man; she calls me out when I've only imagined other girls. It's like she's a mind reader or something, it's freaky," he said as he shook his body in an effort to rid himself of the crazy thoughts.

I looked at him, wanting to see his reaction. "I saw Bella. She's married and has a family."

Jasper slammed on the breaks, bringing the car to a screeching stop and my hand flew to the dashboard in an effort to keep myself upright. After the car stopped jerking I looked back toward Jasper who was staring at the steering wheel. I watched him swallow several times and take deep breaths before he finally spoke.

"Where did you see Bella, Edward?" he quietly asked.

"Um, I saw her at the beach."

"Why were you at the beach? I thought you were just going there to see the school. Did they build a new wing of the medical school on the beach?" He sounded angry, his voice growing deeper.

"No, I was checking things out around town. If I'm gonna live there I want to make sure I like the city. Why do you care? I would think you would be happy about me checking out the nightlife, you know, clubs and bars and stuff." His mood was confusing me. I was getting angry at his accusations, like I went there intending to find Bella. Oh wait, I kind of did. It slowly started to dawn on me that he might know more then he was letting on.

"Okay, so let me get this straight, you were just hanging out at the beach when low and behold Bella Swan, or whatever her name is now, comes strolling along sporting a new family? Is that it?" he asked, looking at me in disbelief.

"Well, not exactly."

"Then how, exactly, did you see her at the beach?"

"Uh, I found her address and I went to her house," I confessed.

"You found her address? How did you do that?"

"Well, I was in the kitchen a couple weeks ago and I saw a pile of wedding announcements. I was looking at them and I saw one with her name and address on it." I hung my head, unable to look at Jasper as shame consumed me.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? You were snooping through our wedding announcements? What do you think Alice is gonna do to you when she finds out?"

"Nothing, because she's not going to find out! You can't tell her Jazz, you're my friend and right now we are in a friendly conversation which you can't go blabbing your mouth about to your fiancé. You said you were my friend, you'd better mean it!" I was furious that he would even think of telling Alice. How dare he, he was my best friend. He had known me longer; his loyalty should lie with me.

"Edward, you know I can't keep things from her, she's going to be my wife, and it's not fair for you to ask me that. Please don't ask me to hide things from her," he pleaded, his voice full of anguish at the thought of withholding something from Alice. His brows furrowed together and the skin across his forehead wrinkled deeply as he stared at me, hoping I wasn't asking this of him.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Dude, please, you can't tell her. She's gonna be so mad at me. I didn't mean to see it, it was just there and I couldn't stop myself from writing it down. It's been four years, Jasper. How would you feel if Alice up and left you and you didn't see her for four years? I had to see her, Jazz, I had to know how she was."

My mind swirled as I remembered her laugh and her smile, the way she looked in the sand. Didn't he understand how I felt about her? How much I missed her? He had been front and center for all of college, every time I tried to erase her from my mind. How could he not understand?

"I know, I get it. I won't tell Alice, but I really think you should talk to her. I'm not saying this on the record, but obviously she knows more than you think she does."

I looked at him in shock. "What do you mean she knows more than I think she does? Does she talk to Bella?"

Jasper looked down at his lap, "Yeah, she talks to her pretty often. She knows a lot, man; you really should talk to her." Then it hit me, I could get the answers I needed from Alice. I didn't have to confront Bella, I could make Alice tell me. As I thought about it I realized that it wouldn't be easy. I would need a plan to get the information I needed. It had been so long, she wasn't just gonna spill everything to me. I had to think of something good.

"Jasper, don't tell her about any of this, okay? Let me think of something and then I'll talk to her. If you tip her off, she won't tell me anything. This is important, please Jasper, don't say anything."

He looked at me and slowly nodded his head. "I promise, I won't say anything, but you need to talk to her soon, I can't hold out forever. She will know, I don't know how, but she will." He turned back to the road and pushed the gas pedal, starting us back towards home. Ideas were racing through my head and I was glad that my buzz was subsiding because I needed to think clearly if I was going to come up with a plan that was good enough to trick Alice.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As we pulled into the garage I noticed that my parents cars were both gone. My Volvo sat parked in the last stall, looking as gorgeous as she did the day I bought her. That was a big day for me; a hard day for me. It was the beginning of my third year in college and I finally decided that I had to get rid of my car. I couldn't continue to drive around in the car that Bella and I had first made love in. I wouldn't even let any other girls in it and I was tired of having to ask my one night stands to drive themselves to my place, though it did make the whole morning after thing easier. I needed a car that didn't have memories of Bella in it. I needed a place that I could get a quick lay and not have to see Jasper's accusing eyes the next morning as the girl left our apartment, the after glow of mind blowing sex still all over her face. As hard as I tried, I couldn't get rid of it. I bought the newer Volvo and put Bella's car in storage. Realistically I knew that she would never again be in it, but my heart still hoped. It was the last tangible thing I had that tied me to Bella, and I needed it.

I grabbed my bag and walked into the house, retracing the pathway to the kitchen that I had taken thousands of times, yet in this moment I yearned for time to turn back. I wished that Alice would be standing in the fridge, looking for Bella's caffeine free soda that she always loved. As I entered the kitchen I saw that it was dark. She wasn't there and there would be no Bella today. The shock of seeing her at the beach and the grief of knowing I had truly lost her hit me and I fell to my knees, dropping my bag. Jasper was right behind me and he rushed to my side, worried that I was hurt. I didn't want him to see me so upset, but I needed help. I couldn't handle this pain on my own.

"Edward, are you okay?" he called out in concern.

"Jazz…man, this is killing me. I don't know what to do," I replied to him, my voice cracking in torment. I buried my face in my hands, fighting the urge to curl onto my side and give up. "I miss her so much, everyday. She's the one; there will never be anyone but her. What am I going to do? I can't do this; I can't let her go again. I won't… I won't survive this a second time."

He put his arm around my shoulders, doing his best to comfort me. Jasper had always been good when it came to emotional stuff; he just seemed to know what was needed, how to best help in any situation where emotions were involved. "Edward, it's gonna be alright. You never know, things might not be what they seem."

I looked up at him, shock on my face. "Not be what they seem? You heard me, right? She's married! She has a little boy! I can't break up a family because I was in love with her in high school! Are you kidding me? What do you want me to do, fly back there and go banging on her door, demanding that she come back with me?"

Jasper was silent for a few moments, looking at me and finally understanding what I was dealing with. He took a deep breath before sitting down on the floor next to me. He had a look of sympathy on his face as he spoke, "Edward, I'm going to tell you something, and this can not be repeated, do you understand me? If anyone finds out that I told you this, it's not gonna be good for either one of us. Man, I'm not even supposed to know this so don't ask me how I do."

He shook his head back and forth as I felt something within me change. It was like my heart knew that good news was coming. I straightened up, wiping the tears from my face and looking at him intently.

He looked at me and let out a breath, "Bella isn't married, Edward. That little boy you saw is hers, but she isn't married. Not even close."

What? How could she not be married? She had a little boy but she wasn't even close to being married? How was that possible? So many questions were running through my mind and I needed answers to them all.

"Okay, what do you mean she's not married?" I asked in a disbelieving tone.

"I mean exactly what I said, she's not married. Not now, not ever."

I didn't trust what he was saying. "How could she not be, I saw her with a man and they both had wedding rings on. She has to be married, Jazz."

He looked intently at me, "What did the man look like, Edward?" he asked.

"Um, he was tall, blondish brown hair, I think. He was older than her, like ten years or so maybe?" I searched my brain for any little details that I might have retained from the beach, desperate to offer up anything that might prove Jasper right. "He had a really athletic build to him, like he played a lot of sports or something. He was throwing the ball around with the little boy; he knew what he was doing. He seemed nice enough, I guess."

Jasper sighed, "Okay, what do you know about Bella's life, her family, Edward? Other than here in Forks, what do you know about it?"

He was hinting at something, I could tell that much, but my mind was too twisted to think straight. "Um, she only has her dad and her mom, no siblings. I don't think she really even has many aunts, uncles or even cousins. She has that one aunt in Seattle, but I don't know of any others. I think that's it."

I looked back at him, my eyes pleading for him to have mercy on me and put me out of my misery. He took several breathes, biting his lower lip and rubbing his temples as if contemplating something. He slowly looked up at me, "Think Edward, why did Bella come here?"

"She came to stay with her dad, right?"

Jasper huffed in annoyance, "WHY Edward? Why did she come to stay with her dad?" he questioned me again, seeming as if I was in idiot for missing something so plainly in front of my face. I thought hard, trying to recall why she did come to Forks.

"Um, her mom got married and Bella wanted to give her some time with her new husband," I blurted out.

"Okay," Jasper slowly stated. "Now we're getting somewhere. Now, what about her mom and her step dad do you remember?"

My thoughts backtracked to a dark road north of town. It was after a football game, after I had first kissed her, and we sat talking and kissing until late into the night. "Well, her mom taught school, I think? That's right, isn't it?" I asked, hoping I was remembering correctly.

"Yeah, you're good on that," he said as a grin started to creep onto his face. "Think, was there anything odd about her mom and step dad? Maybe about their relationship? Think hard, Edward."

I thought back over all the conversations Bella and I had about her life before coming to Forks and I remembered something that was probably completely insignificant. "Yeah, Bella's mom was quite a bit older than her step dad, but only in age. Bella always said her mom was young at heart, so she and Phil were evenly matched." Awareness was slowly seeping into my brain and I suddenly began to feel like I was on the edge of a break through.

"Yep, that's right. She is older by a few years. Now, where did her mom live, do you remember that?"

"Well yeah, of course, Arizona, Bella moved here from Arizona," I said, wondering how Jasper could not remember that fact. Jasper began to grin, which really ticked me off.

"Dude, just tell me already! All this clue and mystery stuff is getting really old, just spit it out!" I growled out at him.

He smiled, "Edward, where did Bella's mom live? Maybe after Bella moved here, where did her mom live?"

I thought for a moment, really fighting the urge to punch him in the stomach, I knew I couldn't break his nose, not this close to the wedding. Alice would burn me alive if I ruined her wedding photos. Then something clicked into place, "She moved to Florida. She was living in Miami…"

A huge smile began to grow on Jasper's face. "Yes, my dear Eddie Boy, she did move there with her husband, after he got a job there. Bonus points if you can remember what her husband did for a living?"

I laughed as I clearly recalled Bella and I discussing the finer points of baseball one night after a particularly good session in the bed of her truck. "He played baseball, he was a left fielder." Recognition dawned on my face as Jasper's smile brightened even more. "That man was Phil, her step dad, wasn't it?" I asked.

"Give the man a prize, by George I think he's got it!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

Now that I had that answer, a whole new crop of questions began to develop and grow. "Okay, if that was her step dad, and the neighbor lady said they live in that house, does Bella live with her mom and step dad? Like, she and her son live with them?" I questioned him, feeling like this was important.

"Yes, they live with her mom, Edward." He seemed pleased with my being able to solve his little riddle. "And I know she isn't with any one because Alice complains that Bella doesn't date, ever. She refuses to go out with anyone. Alice tried to talk her into it for a while but she finally gave up."

I was confused all over again. "What do you mean she doesn't date? She has a son, she must have dated somewhere along the way."

The smile fell from his face and Jasper started to breathe strangely. I could sense his urgency to get away from me as quickly as he could and it baffled me. "Okay, my work here is done; this is the conversation that you need to have with Alice. I don't really know a lot about this particular subject, so let her fill you in."

I was curious as to what could be so important that I had to talk to Alice and no one else. Maybe he didn't really know all the details, possibly he was telling the truth. I knew he was, he wouldn't lie to me. He valued honesty too much and never once in our entire friendship had he lied to me. Obviously he would keep secrets from me, but that was different from lying, or at least in his book it was.

Jasper quickly stood up, wiping his butt of as if he had dirt on it. "Okay, I'm out of here. I did my best friend duty; I got you home in one piece. Now, I need to be gone before Alice gets back because as soon as she walks in that door, she is going to know I told you something, and she won't stop until she finds out what it is."

I stood and threw my arms around Jazz, hugging him and trying to tell him silently that I appreciated him and his friendship. I quietly spoke into his shirt so the sound was muffled, "Thanks for being my friend, for helping me and for trusting me." I pulled away from him, looking down towards my shoes as I continued, "Thank you too for protecting Bella. I'm sorry that I put you in a position to keep things from Alice, but I won't do it again. I'm so sorry; I'm going to talk to her as soon as I can. Don't worry, I'll fix it, it'll be fine."

I sure hoped I was right.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So, what do you think? Did Edward turn out to be what you expected? How mad are you at him for the whole 'man whore' thing? Next chapter he gets to talk to Alice, and it's a biggie. Maybe get some Kleenex ready now, you might need them.**

**So my awesome reader and now friend **_**Unchanged Affections**_**set up some threads for my little stories over at Twilighted. I was shocked that she would want to do that, but it's pretty fun… Plus I post teasers and we talk about stuff. Check it out, we don't bite. Well, unless you're into that kind of thing…  
****http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7841&p=842013#p842013**

**There are also links to the threads and everything else here in my profile or favorites list, so you can always check there.**

**How about some rec's? Okay…**

**Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche – Oh goodness, awesome Jasper and awesome Edward fighting over awesome Bella. And it's set in Phoenix, my stomping grounds! This is really good, you won't be disappointed!  
http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5058174/1/**

**Facebook Friends by GreenPuma – This is so good! High school aged E and B and some of the most amazing music I've heard in ages. You will love it, I know I do…  
http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5334078/1/**

**Really quick, I need to mention three other fics that I would LOVE for you to check out!**

**First, this is by my friend Nicola and she's worked so hard on it. It's Esme based, so since not many people look for Esme fics, not many have seen it. But it's good and it's something especially close to her heart. Please check it out and leave her some love.  
A Spark Among the Ashes by mummyanimal - http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6255054/1/A_Spark_Among_The_Ashes**

**And another entry from the Broken Fairytale Challenge that I loved. I'm SO excited to see her continuing this…  
All I Wanted by Joss17 - http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5533046/1/**

**And a new story by a super sweet girl who lets me help fix comma's and rewrite sentences. She'll be posting the second chapter to this story soon and she's got some great ideas so check out her stuff!  
The Virgin Game by Jasperlover16 - http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5576228/1/The_Virgin_Game**

**Tell them I sent you. Now, show me you love me…**


	3. Chapter 3 Heavily Broken

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an AWESOME 4 ft by 6 ft season 4 **_**ALIAS**_** poster that I totally intend on hanging in an office someday. The hubs said the living room wall was a no go…that basically broke my heart.**

**Wow! I'm so happy that everyone is loving this! Yippee! This chapter is a big one, not in terms of words used (and to be honest, it's killing me that it's so small) but in the terms of content. It's kinda heavy, the possible Kleenex warning wasn't issued lightly. :) **

**Thanks to my uber beta **_**coldplaywhore**_**. She rec'd this little piece of angst on her story The Resolution the other day…made me a little teary, I gotta say. She lets me preread that and I'll admit, I'm upping the angst volume on that baby as much as she'll let me! I love it! :P**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys)**_**. As Jasper so horribly and out of tune sang last chapter, You are the wind beneath my wings. Oh, I love that boy…**

**Thanks to the girlies that pre-read this little morsel of angsty goodness and gave me some ideas on what to fix or explain a little better –** _**Twilight44,Unchanged Affections**_**, **_**ArdnaidOcirg, **_**and **_**BittenBee**_**. Thanks for listening to me as I vaguely ramble on about possible future story lines. I'm kinda surprised you haven't run screaming yet. :P **

**Okay, here we go…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 3 – Heavily Broken

_Everyday I sit here waiting  
Everyday just seems so long  
And now I've had enough of all the hating  
Do we even care, it's so unfair  
Any day it'll all be over  
Everyday there's nothing new  
And I just try to find some hope  
To try and hold onto  
But it starts again, It'll never end_

_I'm heavily broken_  
_And I don't know what to do_  
_Can't you see that I'm choking_  
_And I can't even move_  
_When there's nothing left to say_  
_What can you do_  
_I'm heavily broken_  
_And there's nothing I can do_

"Heavily Broken" by The Veronicas

I sat on the steps of the front staircase waiting for Alice. The house had been quiet for a couple of hours and I knew she would be home anytime. I couldn't put off talking to her; I had so many questions that needed answers. I had decided to forgo my original plan of tricking her into talking to me, instead I was just going to play big brother and bully it out of her. If that didn't work, I'd cry. I was so frustrated with everything I had learned over the past week, I was already on the verge of breaking down. I knew Alice was a sucker for tears, especially when it was a man crying. She thought it was sensitive or some crap like that; she was such a girl. I was relatively sure I would end up weeping if she didn't offer up the information I needed, and my manhood cringed at the realization that it wouldn't even be an act.

As I sat in the dark silence, I couldn't help thinking about Bella and the fact that she wasn't married. When Jasper told me, it felt like a five hundred pound weight had been lifted from my chest and I could breathe again. I was already scheming and planning ways to win her back. I needed all the facts, or as much as Alice would give me, but I had decided that I would spend every waking moment trying to convince her to come back to me. I remembered many of the fun times we had shared together: laughing at the ice cream shop, picnics at the park, hiking through the forest, making out under the bleachers. The vast majority of my best memories were tied up in her, it hurt to even try remembering times before we were together. I longed for her; it felt as though my whole life revolved around her.

The more things I remembered, the more something worried me. I had made a staggering amount of wrong decisions since I had last seen her. Most of them were in an effort to forget her, but over time what I finally began to realize was that I was trying to numb the pain of losing her. No matter what I did, I couldn't forget her; I didn't want to forget her. My heart wouldn't let me get over her because without her, it didn't exist. She owned me, from the first moment she walked through the door, she had taken a hold of me and never let go.

I was trying to organize the questions I needed to ask, hoping that I could remember what to ask first. I figured that Alice would probably only answer a few things before she got angry and ignored me. I didn't have time for her to play her pouting games with me, she owed me. I was lost in thought when I heard the gravel in the drive way crunch as a car pulled up. I knew it would be Alice; she was the only one who parked in the drive way. Every muscle in my body stiffened as I heard the car door slam shut and dainty footsteps approach the front door. I attempted to even my breaths while listening to her key push into the lock, clicking the bolt open as she turned it. The lever depressed on the inside of the door as it began to swing open, a light squeak echoing through the foyer. I straightened my back and remained seated on the steps.

Alice rushed into the house, mumbling something about cleaners and seamstresses and cake toppers. Her arms were laden down with several shopping bags of all different colors. She had obviously been shopping and picking up things for the wedding, though I wasn't sure how there was anything else she could have needed – she had been planning her wedding since she was twelve years old, years before she had even met Jasper. Somehow she just always knew it would happen. She kicked the door shut with her foot as she continued through the room, not noticing me sitting on the staircase, staring at her. How she missed the waves of tension rolling off of me I didn't know. As she rushed towards the kitchen I shifted slightly and cleared my throat. She dropped half of the bags she was carrying, whirling around with her hand to her throat. Her eyes were wide with fright and she let out a high pitched scream, probably scaring off most dogs within a two mile radius.

"Edward! Oh, you…you scared me!" She looked around, narrowing her eyes when she noticed no lights turned on. "What are you doing just sitting here in the dark?" she asked and I saw the smile start to spread across her face. She seemed happy to see me. She stepped towards me while I remained seated, a scowl defining itself on my face. "Edward, is something wrong? Did Jasper forget to pick you up? Oh, that man, I swear, if his head wasn't sewn on he would forget it every day!" she laughed.

I didn't want to beat around the bush, so I just blurted it out. "No Alice, he picked me up, he remembered. The trip was great by the way, thanks. The sun was shining, the people were tanned, the ocean was beautiful, and the school was great." I smiled slightly at her as she beamed at me, happy that I had enjoyed myself. Then I dropped the bomb. "Oh, and you wanna know the best part of the whole trip? Yeah…I saw Bella at the beach. She has a son. Care to tell me, dear sister, _exactly_ what you know about that?"

Her bright smile vanished and her eyes became wide as the shock of my statement sunk in. I saw her look to her left, contemplating how quickly she could run from the house, was my guess. To her credit, she stayed put, eventually straightening her back and squaring her shoulders as she spoke in a defiant tone, "So, you just ran into her? Just got lucky? You sure about that, Edward?"

I looked quizzically at her, letting the sarcasm coat every word that rolled off my tongue, "Sure about what, exactly? That I saw her? Yeah, I'm sure. That there was a little boy there calling her Momma? Yep, pretty certain on that too. That she was with a man and he was throwing a football around with the little boy? Uh, yeah, I saw that too. Anything else I should be sure on, there Alice?"

She stood gawking at me. I watched as she swallowed slowly, contemplating her next words. "Did you talk to her Edward? When you saw her, did you say anything to her? Did she see you?"

I shifted my stare down to the floor, "No, I didn't talk to her and she didn't see me. I didn't want to disturb her and the happy little family scene I was watching. It reminded me of _The Brady Bunch_ or _The Cosby Show_, something sweet and bonding like that. I didn't want to get in the way with that man there and all, I mean he must be—"

"Wait, what do you mean a man? You said she was with a man? What man, who was he? You must be wrong," she huffed out in annoyance.

"Nope," I said, popping the 'P' for emphasis. "There was a man there, and they both had on wedding rings. They were having a great time playing on the beach, I couldn't get in the middle of that, you know? Not for some high school crush or whatever it was we had." I hung my head, letting the sadness wash over me again, feeling helpless at the thought of her with someone else, even if I knew the man I saw her with was her step father. Eventually there would be man, and it wouldn't be me.

I heard Alice set down the bags she was holding and then her footsteps as she slowly walked over to sit next to me. She didn't say anything for several minutes and when she did finally begin to speak, she refused to look at me. She began softly, "Bella and I have been in contact since she left four years ago. She was my best friend, Edward. She begged me not to tell you that we spoke, she didn't want you to worry about her or think that she was keeping tabs on you. She really thought that you would just forget her and move on."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped from my chest. "Forget her?" I said in disbelief, "How could I ever forget her? Was she insane?" I was angry that she would assume, after everything that happened between us, I would really just forget her.

"Edward, you have to understand, Bella had never been with anyone before. She had never had a boyfriend, never been on a date even. She had never been in love with anyone and surely never had anyone tell her that they loved her. She was caught off guard, to say the least. She never felt worthy of you," she said with sadness in her voice.

I looked at her with pleading eyes, "Alice, you know I loved her, right? Did you tell her that? Did you try to make her stay?" Every fiber of my being prayed that she had stood up for me, that she had argued my case with Bella. I hoped that maybe, somehow, Bella would believe the words of love and adoration that I had spoken to her a million times if she heard them reaffirmed by my sister, her best friend.

She looked into my eyes with sympathy and hurt, "Yes, Edward, I tried to tell her. I did everything I could to convince her to stay. That last day, the day before she left, when you walked in on us, I was trying to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. She had everything worked out in her head and she just wouldn't listen to me."

I saw her bottom lip begin to quiver and I placed my arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards me. She tensed up at the contact and tried to pull away. "Alice, don't, you're upset, just talk to me."

She sighed, speaking in a low hush, "Edward, there are so many things you need to know and so many things I promised never to tell you. You know the bond you have with Jasper, that whole best friend thing? Well, it's like a million times stronger for girls. It's almost sacred, the link between a girl and her best friend. I'm sorry I can't tell you anything, but I promised."

I breathed out heavily, deciding to put a little pressure on her and see where it would get me. "Alice, why did she leave, did she tell you? Did I do something wrong? Was there someone else? I need to know, Alice. I've spent the last four years agonizing over it and I need some answers."

I felt her shoulders begin to shake and I thought she might be cracking, finally going to confess to me what she knew. Instead she started laughing uncontrollably. "Are you kidding me?" she almost yelled at me, "You've spent the last four years agonizing over her? When exactly was that, Edward? Was that while you were screwing other brunettes, or was it the blondes, maybe brunettes reminded you too much of her, is that it?" I looked at her in confusion, what was she talking about?

"Alice, what…"

"Edward, I'm not stupid. You lived with Jazz, you think I don't know what you spent the last four years doing? Or _who_ you spent the last four years doing, maybe that's more accurate."

"Alice, you have no idea what you're talking about. You need to just leave that alone, I made mistakes, okay? I know I did and I fully intend to live up to those, but you have no idea what all that was about," I spat back at her, angered that she would throw my past back into my face.

I leaned away from her, dropping my arm, as she continued, "You had it so easy Edward. Any little bimbo that walked by was just all too happy to jump into your bed, huh? Oh, you poor boy, pining away over your lost love, one threesome at a time. Is that how it was? Huh? Give it up Edward, as soon as Bella left you slithered right back into the man whoring snake you always were and never gave her a second thought."

She was really starting to tick me off and I finally snapped, forcefully pushing myself to a stand and moving away from her, "No Alice! I didn't go back to my man whoring ways! You have no idea how much pain I was in." I spun around to face her, my voice rising as my arms flew about, emphasizing my words. "The love of my life had just walked out on me, ran to the other side of the country, with no explanation, and I was left here to deal with it all on my own! You might have been her best friend but you were my sister, you should have been helping me deal with it but you didn't!"

I folded my arms across my chest, sneering at her as I continued. The anger started to fade from my voice, being replaced by hurt and a sense of betrayal. "You just quit talking to me and ignored me. I think I can count on two hands the number of times you talked to me in the last four years. We used to be so close, Alice, what happened? How could your loyalties lie with her, not me? Her, the girl that shattered your flesh and blood, and not me, your broken shell of a brother? How Alice, tell me how?"

She jumped to her feet and charged after me, pushing her hands into my chest, "Because you idiot, you got her pregnant! How could you not know that, huh? You think she just disappeared because she wanted to?" Her words were like a slap in the face, rattling me down to my soul. "You saw that little boy; didn't he look familiar to you at all, Edward? Didn't you notice how old he is? He's your son, and while you were out screwing anything with legs and boobs, she was sitting at home raising your child, telling him what a good man his father was and how someday he would come back for them. I hated you Edward, I still hate you for what you did to her! You made that baby and you didn't even have enough common sense to realize it!"

I froze, her words exploding all around me. I gaped at her, struggling to understand exactly what she was saying. I tried to say something back, but I had no words. Every time I opened my mouth, there was no sound. I looked into her eyes, searching for any indication that she was lying, that she was making it all up, but there was none. My vision began to cloud up as tears built in my eyes. She was pregnant? How could that be? She never told me anything about that. It couldn't be true…could it?

Alice soon stilled before me, quieting down and looking up at me with so much sympathy and grief in her eyes. I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks as I finally found enough voice to make one word, "How?"

Alice laughed the saddest laugh I had ever heard, placing her hand on my arm, rubbing up and down, "You know how, Edward."

I felt my knees weaken and I stumbled towards the wall, leaning my back against it. I tried to steady myself but things around me started to spin and I slowly slid down to the floor. Alice kneeled in front of me, taking my face into her hands, pulling it up to look at her. "Edward, she loved you, so much. She knew that if she stayed with you it would ruin your dreams, your chance to play football. She didn't feel like she was worth that. She thought that eventually you would come to resent her for holding you back. She said that she knew she would never survive you leaving her, so she had to do it on her terms. She loved you Edward, she left because she loved you so much."

I felt my body shaking, sobs taking over me. I didn't want Alice to see me this way, but I needed her and I didn't care. I felt her shift to my side, her arms wrapping around me, as my head fell into the crook of her neck. I couldn't speak, there were things I wanted to say, but I couldn't.

Alice continued to hug me as she rocked me back and forth while I cried on her, ruining what was surely a designer shirt. She never complained, she just held me and told me it would be alright, that everything would work out. She ran her soft hands through my hair over and over again, knowing it would calm me down and comfort me. It wasn't long until I felt her body shaking and heard her cries that mimicked my own. I managed to raise one arm enough to put it around her, trying to offer her some support. As the gesture registered with her she fell into me and her cries became more forceful, her small body slowly being consumed with the heartache she had lived with.

We sat that way for what seemed like hours, each of us trying to deal with the pain of losing Bella. It meant very different things for both of us, but still hurt us each so deeply that we almost couldn't function.

When the crying finally began to subside, I cleared my throat and spoke with a shaky, sorrow filled voice, "Why didn't she tell me? I don't understand why she wouldn't tell me. She knew I wanted to marry her, how could she think I wouldn't always want her?"

Alice whispered to me, "I don't know Edward, I think she was scared. We were so young, that's not something any 16 year old should have to deal with, but she did. She's so self sacrificing too, you know that. She would have done anything if it meant you would be happy. That's all she wanted, for you to be happy."

"I would have been happiest with her, with her and our son." The weight of that statement smacking me upside the head – I had a son. I was a father.

I pulled back a little, just enough so that I could look into her red, puffy eyes and asked, "Have you met him? Does she talk about him?" I was desperate for any information on the little boy, my brain trying frantically to remember that day on the beach, what he looked like; his eyes, his smile, his hair, anything!

"No, I've never met him, but she's e-mailed me pictures. He looks so much like you, Edward. He has Bella's eyes, but the rest of him is you; your smile, your hair, your personality, your athletic ability, everything else is you," she replied, thrilling me with the information. "I was supposed to see him once, a couple of years ago at Christmas. She was here visiting and I was going to see them but when I called to set it up she said she'd just seen you at the pizza place with Claire or something. She wouldn't meet with me after that; she said it would hurt too much."

I thought back to when that could have been, saddened by how close I had been to her without even knowing it. Alice continued, "It was after that that I started to really resent you, to blame you for Bella leaving." There was such misery in her eyes, a longing that I was responsible for. It crushed me even more, just when I thought there was nothing left of me to destroy.

She woefully chortled, "Bella named him after you, she calls him E.C."

"She named him Edward Cullen?" I asked, in disbelief.

"No, she named him Edward Charlie, after you and her dad." Her dad. I had completely forgotten about him. He must hate me for what I had done. He had warned us so many times about pregnancy, but we were careful. Well, we were almost always careful. Obviously not every time.

"Who all knows about E.C.? Does her dad know?" I asked, wanting to know if I should hide from the Sheriff next time I saw him.

"Yeah, he knows. Him, her mom and step dad, her, and me. That's all that knows. Well, and now you. No one else knows, aside from her neighbors and friends in Florida."

A thought ran through my mind, "Does she date? Is she seeing anyone?" I had to know.

"No, Edward, she doesn't date. Not ever."

That thought both thrilled me and made me sad, both at the same time. "Why doesn't she date?"

"Well, not to be rude, but really, what teenaged guy wants to ask out a pregnant girl, or a girl with a baby? Yeah, not too many, that's for sure. Even once she got past that stage, she still wouldn't consider it. All she does is go to work, go to school, and sit at home. She has no life, though I'm sure you love that," she said with a little playful smirk.

I creased my brow, "Why would you think that, Alice?" I shook my head slightly, "I want her to be happy, and if being happy means finding someone else then I want that for her. I mean, yeah, I wish it was me she was with, but really all I want is her to be happy. That's enough."

She looked at me for a moment, "Edward, she would be happy with you. She should be happy with you. You've both missed out on so much; I don't even know where to start. We need to fix this, it's not right; you don't even know your own son. We have to do something, we need a plan." I watched as her eyes darted back and forth, lighting up as ideas began to filter into her mind.

"I already have a plan," I sputtered. "Well, I've been trying to come up with something anyway. Why, what have you got?"

She bit her lower lip, reminding me so much of Bella in that moment, "Sooo, I'm getting married in a couple of weeks, and I did ask her to come, I was hoping she would agree to be my maid of honor." Her eyes bore into mine, filled with more determination than I ever remembered seeing in them, "We need to get her here, Edward. For both of us, she needs to be here."

I nodded in agreement, my whole being aching to see her again. My mind swam in the memory of her scent, her feel, her voice, and I felt the spark of determination begin to smolder. "What should we do Alice? What would make her come here?"

Alice's eyes sparkled as a devious grin crossed her face, "You need to go see Charlie, Edward. The two of you need to have a talk.

My breathing stuttered as I felt my heart drop and my balls lurch up into my body. I was a dead man.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So did that help explain things a bit? Maybe make you not hate on Alice so much? I know many of you are worried about Edward freaking out and hating Bella. Let me just say, he's in shock right now. He hasn't processed his feelings about all of this yet, but he will. Remember, I want this to be realistic. **

**Okay, a few rec's…because I read way too much good stuff to not share! :D**

**Beautiful, Dirty, Rich by Kiki Blue – this story is great! It's full of smut, so watch out, but I love her Bella! And Kiki is pretty frickin' awesome herself! We have fun on Twitter…maybe a little too much. :D  
http:/twilighted().()net/viewstory().()php?sid=8101 **

**I Hate You, Kiss Me by BittenBee – I love this story! It's so good and SO smart! Bitten is amazing too, I lurve her. We wrote a little Christmas o/s together and I couldn't have had a better time!  
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4805328/1/**

**And something complete –**

**Learn You Inside Out by wolfpgirl – I love this one. It's one of my favorites. It has Quarterward & Dancerella and it's very real and honest…it's just beautiful. wolfpgirl is so sweet and lovely, you'll be happy you read it…trust me.  
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4807057/1/Learn_You_Inside_Out**

**Oh, the fun of fanfic world. I know everyone of those authors because I fangirled over them! :D How cool is that? :D**

**Don't forget, we're playing around on Twitter and Twilighted. Links to me on both of those pages are in my profile. I tend to leave teasers on Twilighted… Just saying… :D**

**Leave me some love and tell me what you think of Alice. Oh! And do you think I should do a Bella POV soon on this or wait for a while…what would YOU prefer?**


	4. Chapter 4 The Heart of The Matter

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does and we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. What I do own is the very bad mood I've been in today. I admit it, I've been a grump all day. My poor kids…**

**Okay, let's hope this chapter clears up some questions and concerns. **

**First thank you to my uber beta, **_**coldplaywhore**_**. I love her, even though she may have, allegedly, threatened me at one point, long ago, with duct tape, a cold metal chair, a yard full of snow, a huge glass window, a roaring fire & hot chocolate, and Rob. Namely, if I spill details on her story **_**The Resolution**_**, I get duct taped to the metal chair, put out in the yard of snow (naked as a jay bird, mind you), where I can watch her through the window as she sits by the fire sipping hot chocolate and fondling my Mr. Pattinson. Nope, no chance I'm talking. :D But trust me, if The Boy was that close, duct tape ain't gonna stop me. I'm just sayin'… :P**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys)**_**. You girls make me giddy and I adore you. :)**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for pre-reading this and telling what they thought. You both give me such good ideas…I love them!**

**This is for all the girls I grew up with that lived Bella and Renee's stories. Sadly, there were a lot of them and everything you read here comes from real girls.**

**Well, Charlie's back…think you can handle it?**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 4 – The Heart of the Matter

_I'm learning to live without you now  
But I miss you, Baby  
The more I know, the less I understand  
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again  
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter  
But everything changes  
And my friends seem to scatter  
But I think it's about forgiveness  
Forgiveness  
Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore_

"The Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley

I listened to the gravel crunching under the tires of the car as I slowly drove down the road which I knew almost as well as the one I lived on. The speed limit sign said twenty five miles per hour, but when I glanced down at the speedometer I realized I was barely going ten, and I really didn't feel the need to go any faster. I had driven this road so many times that I knew I could most likely do it with my eyes closed. The last time I punished myself with this particular route was only a few months back when I was home at Spring Break. I hoped that maybe, wherever Bella was, she was on Spring Break too and back visiting Charlie. I just wanted a glimpse of her, just a reminder that she was real. It had been so long since I'd seen her that sometimes it felt like that whole part of my life had been a dream.

The white house came into view and I felt my heart rate speed up. I tried to take deep breaths as I battled the urge to turn around and go home. Charlie didn't know I was coming; only Alice knew my plans. The worst she could do would be to scream at me, but Charlie on the other hand…I wasn't sure I would be alive at the end of the day. I tried to mentally calculate exactly how many guns Chief Swan had in his house and I remembered that the number used to be around fifteen, but that was four years ago, I was sure had acquired a few more since then.

I eased the car into the driveway, not sure if I was happy to see the police cruiser parked in front of the garage or not. There was another car there, one I didn't know, and I wondered if I might be interrupting something, maybe he would ask me to come back another time. I turned off the car, letting out a long, labored sigh. It was now or never. I loved Bella and if I ever hoped to get her back, I had to do this. I had to man up and accept my responsibilities in life. I just hoped that by doing so, I could get Bella back.

The walk to the front porch had never seemed so long. Even on our first date, I knew Bella was waiting inside and the distance flew by. Today was different because I knew for a fact that she wasn't there. All that awaited me was the gun wielding father of a pregnant teenaged girl who was abandoned by her boyfriend, who then went off and lived like a man whore for four years. Things weren't looking good for me.

I stepped onto the porch with heavy footsteps, reaching forward to knock on the screen door. There was silence all around me, and I thought it might make my screams of surrender easier for the neighbors to hear, or at least I hoped it would. The sound of movement from inside the house didn't surprise me, yet I still jumped slightly when I heard it. I took several breaths, trying to calm myself down, and then looked up when the door opened.

I was caught off guard when a woman stood on the other side of the screen door from me. She had dark eyes and even darker long, straight hair. I didn't recognize her, but she pushed the screen door open and smiled at me. I looked at her for a moment before finally remembering why I was standing at that door. "Hi, is Chief Swan here?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh sure, come on in. He's in the living room watching a ball game." I stepped across the threshold and into the house, continuing towards the room I knew Chief Swan was most likely to be found in. She stepped ahead of me towards the living room, poking her head in. "Charlie, there's someone here to see you. You want a refill on that drink? I'm heading into the kitchen…"

I heard Charlie's gruff voice that sounded exactly the same as it always had, "Sure, that'd be great babe."

Babe? Chief Swan had a girl? This woman was his girlfriend? Fiancé? Wife, even? How had I missed this? How did Alice not know this? The more the thought swirled around my brain, the sooner I realized this might work to my advantage. If Charlie was in love with someone, then I could appeal to him as one love struck man to another.

The woman walked into the room as I hung around in the small hallway, getting my nerves in order. I heard a loud slap sound followed by a squeal and giggle. What was going on here? For a moment I thought I'd entered an alternate universe. The woman came through the doorway holding a glass in her hand and smiling. "Sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Sue, and you are?"

I raised my hand and offered to shake hers, "I'm Edward Cullen." The smile on her face faltered and she looked me over. She gently raised her hand and shook mine, the smile replanting itself firmly on her face.

"Well Edward, it is very nice to meet you. Why don't you go on in and see Charlie. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about. Would you like something to drink, some lemonade maybe? I just made it," she said in a sweet, honey rich voice.

"Um, sure, that'd be great," I replied, hoping I would be there long enough to drink the lemonade and not end up wearing it.

"Alright then, you go on now," she leaned in and whispered, then quickly turned and strolled into the kitchen, leaving me to my fate and Chief Swan.

I walked through the doorway, seeing the Chief sprawled out across the couch, taking in the football game that was showing on his TV. He looked over towards me and bolted upright in his seat. He had a look of shock on his face and I could see that I was clearly the last person he thought he would be seeing today.

"Edward, what brings you here? I never imagined I'd see you today," he stated, the shock of me standing before him obvious in his voice.

I cleared my throat and recited the line I had rehearsed over and over again in the car on my way over, "Chief Swan, I'd like to talk to you if I could. Do you have a few minutes? If not, I can go."

"Of course, Edward, have a seat. I'd make time for you, son." I couldn't help but notice that he called me son again. He had done that a few times when Bella and I were dating, but I never really understood why. Just as I was about to ask, Sue entered the room.

"Here's your lemonade, boys. I think I'm gonna head home for a bit. Seth called earlier and needs some help with his biology homework. That boy, I think the only reason he took that advanced class is because there's a cute girl in it." She and Charlie both laughed and I sat with a small smirk on my face. I thought to myself that if, in fact, Seth did take the class for a girl, he and I would most likely get along famously.

"Let me walk you out babe. I'll be right back Edward," Charlie said as he pulled himself up off the couch and followed Sue to the front door. I couldn't help but watch him walk her to her car and kiss her before she climbed in and drove away. I drank some of the lemonade she had brought for me and was relieved at how good it was. I heard the Chief's boots loudly on the front porch and squared my shoulders in preparation for what was to come.

He walked forcefully across the room, back to his seat on the couch, and sat down before finally looking up at me. "So Edward, what brings you out this way today?"

I looked him right in the eyes, feeling my body shake with nervousness, and quietly spoke. "Chief Swan, I need to talk to you about some things. I hope that you'll listen to what I have to say and not shoot me."

The chief started to laugh before realizing that I was serious. I really didn't want him to shoot me. He groaned a bit before sighing, "Well, Edward, let's see, your father tells me you just finished your bachelors degree, is that right?"

"Yes sir, I did."

"And now you're going to be heading off to medical school, correct?"

"Yes sir, that is correct."

"So did you enjoy yourself at the University? Was football everything you dreamed it would be?" I could hear a bit of anger in his voice and I knew I had to choose my words carefully.

"Yes sir, football was great. I loved it, being on the field and playing against so many other great players. I made some good friends too, so that was a bonus."

"Uh huh, well that's good Edward. I'm happy things went so well for you over the past few years. Not everyone gets the luxury of going off to college to enjoy themselves. Life's not always fair in that sense, you know?"

"Yes sir, I know that," I whispered, knowing that he was talking about Bella, even though he wasn't mentioning her by name.

"So, you're off to medical school now? Seems like your life is working out pretty well, I'm sure you're thrilled about that." His words were kind but I could sense the disgust with me that he was trying hard to hide.

"Yeah, I guess so. It's not what I wanted, but it's what I'm learning to live with."

He raised an eyebrow at me, cocking his head to the side, "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

I looked to the floor, folding my hands together in my lap, "I wanted Bella, but she didn't want me, so I've had to learn to deal with that. I don't like it, but it's what she wants, so as long as she's happy, I'll manage." My mind swirled with images of Bella and I together and I wondered what our lives would have been like if she had stayed. I wondered if we would have gotten married, if I'd have still gone to college or if I would have gotten a job. I wondered where we would have lived, if we would take our son to the park, if I would be the one playing catch with him. She was all I ever wanted and my heart broke even more as I realized all the things I was imagining would never come true. However, for some reason she didn't want me, I wasn't enough for her and I didn't know why.

The Chief let out a long sigh and I looked up to see him run his hand over his face, nodding his head. "So, where you heading off to this fall? You have a college all picked out?"

"Yeah, I found one that's really pretty perfect, it has everything I'm looking for. The school is great, the city is amazing, and from what I've seen the people are really nice too."

"So, where is it you're gonna be going?" he asked, his face full of curiosity.

"The University of Miami, in Florida."

With that his head snapped towards me, his eyes growing wide as saucers. He swallowed twice before speaking, "Well, that sounds nice. I hear it's very sunny there and hot, it's hot there. That'll be a nice change from Washington, yeah?"

"Yeah, I was there last week; I just got home a couple of days ago. I liked it, it looked great. I saw a lot of the city, some really nice houses near the beach; I think I would be interested in something like that." His eyes never left mine as he sat up straighter and the look on his face told me that he knew what I was here to talk to him about.

"I saw her, Chief Swan; I saw Bella. She didn't see me, but I saw her." The Chief nodded his head, most likely realizing what was coming next. "And I saw E.C. I didn't know who he was until Alice told me yesterday. Please believe me, if I had known, if I had any idea that he existed, I never would have stayed away. I would have gone to Miami and married her. I loved her… I still love her. I need your help, please will you help me?" I could feel the tears pricking my eyes and I struggled to not completely lose it in front of him. Yet I also knew that he needed to see exactly how serious I was. He had to understand the depths of my love for Bella and _our _son.

"Edward, I want to be clear, I love my daughter. She is my first priority; her happiness takes precedence over all other things. Do you understand that?" he asked with a serious tone.

I swallowed roughly as I nodded my head, "Yes sir, I know that."

The Chief looked at me for a moment before he continued, "I've never treated you harshly Edward. I knew from the first night you came into my home that you would always take care of my daughter. I want you to know that I did ask her to tell you about E.C. When she first told me that she was pregnant, I insisted that she tell you, but when she told me her reasons I couldn't argue." He paused, nervously twisting his fingers together. "I chose to support her decision, and I don't regret that choice, but I do feel bad about you not knowing your son. I know the joy that comes with being a father, but I also know how hard it is to be a young father, Edward. I hoped that this time apart would give you two a better chance to make a proper start in your lives. I hoped that if you were truly meant to be together, you would find each other again."

All of the things he was saying made sense to me and I understood his position. I hadn't really considered the fact that I had missed out on so much time with E.C. My heart dropped at the thought of never being able to see his first steps, hear his first words, or help him ride a bike for the first time. All the firsts that a father was supposed to be there for, I would never get to experience. A feeling of resentment began to build in me because Bella had denied me all of those experiences, but I needed to know why.

"Chief Swan, why did she leave? Why didn't she want to be with me? I never understood why she did what she did. I thought she loved me, and now I just don't know."

"Edward," the Chief began, "let me tell you a little story, it might help you understand what Bella did, and in turn why I did what I did." He closed his eyes and sighed before continuing, "Bella's mother and I were very young when she was born. We met in high school, had a romance a lot like you and Bella had, and things progressed in the same way they did for the two of you. I was a year older than her and we were pretty much royalty at the high school; I was involved in sports and she was a cheerleader. No one talked very openly about things like sex and birth control during that time, so when she found out she was pregnant, we were scared."

The story Chief Swan was telling me was shocking, and it helped me to realize why he had always been so adamant about teen pregnancy, always warning us about being careful. I listened intently, hoping that something would click in my mind, explaining to me how this was related to Bella's decision to leave me.

"It was the spring just before I graduated when we found out. We were in love and our parents insisted that we either get married or give the baby up for adoption. Bella's mother couldn't bear the thought of giving away the child that we had created, so we chose to get married instead. All of our friends thought it was so romantic, but as soon as Bella was born they stopped coming around. That was especially hard on Renee, Bella's mom. She would cry telling me how she overheard girls that had been her best friends talking about her and calling her horrible names. It broke my heart, but I also had my own problems to deal with."

The Chief pulled his glass of lemonade from the table, bringing it to his lips and taking a long drink, sighing as he set the glass back down. He stared so intently at the table that I thought he might be trying to memorize the pattern in the wood grain. He looked back up to me, his eyes full of sadness and regret.

"Renee wasn't the only one to lose things, Edward. Yes, she dropped out of school and had to get her GED through home school courses, but I also gave up things. I had a scholarship to play basketball in California. It wasn't a big college, but it was a start. I had registered for my classes, I was going to major in architecture, but once I got married I knew that having a job was more important for my family. My father got me on with the police station and I slowly started working my way up in the force."

I had no idea that Charlie was in almost the exact same position that I had been in. I knew he had been a good athlete in school, he still held a few records in basketball and I was the one who broke his final football one, but knowing that he gave all that up for Bella and her mother gave me a whole new look at Charlie and the kind of man he was.

"I've never regretted having Bella, not once, but I will tell you, Edward, that my life would have been a lot easier if I had gotten an education and waited to have children. I think Bella's mom would agree, in fact I know she would. It was rough, being married so young. We were in love but sometimes that's just not enough." I thought about Bella and me, about how much I loved her and realized that Charlie had probably felt the same way once; invincible. He had been proven wrong, much like I most likely would have been if Bella had stayed and we had gotten married.

"After a few years, Renee couldn't take it anymore. She wanted out of this small town, and I knew I would never leave. She took some classes at the little college here in town and was finally able to transfer to a university in Arizona. Her parents were there and they were able to help her. Our marriage failing was a tough blow to take, Edward. I never wanted something like that for my daughter. I know it was hard on her because I know how hard it was on me and her mother. Bella wanted to spare you that pain, she had witnessed it first hand and she didn't want the two of you to end up like us. That's why I finally agreed to support her and keep her secret."

Now things were making sense to me, I was finally beginning to see why Bella did what she did. As I looked at the cushions on the sofa, my eyes completely unfocused on the pattern in the fabric, I cautiously placed the pieces together in my mind.

The next words out of his mouth stopped my thoughts in their tracks, "There's one other thing, Edward. She was aware of the morality clause in your scholarship, and she knew that if she'd told you she was pregnant, you would have done the right thing and told the school. She didn't want to deny you the future that you had worked so hard for."

I stared at him in shock, the idea that football could mean more to me than Bella was insane. How could she think that? I didn't understand how, after everything, she honestly believed she wasn't enough for me. "But Chief, I could have still gone to school; I could have done that and been with her, she didn't have to leave."

"Edward, I read over the contract myself, if the school had known, then yes, you could have still taken classes, earned a degree, but you would never have been able to play football. Bella saw you on that field, she knew how much you loved it, how you were a whole other person out there, and she didn't want to take that part of you away." He slowly shook his head, "That's a part of you, a part of your life, that you can never get back. You only had one chance and she didn't want you to hate her for taking it away."

I sat in awe, stunned by how wrong she was. How her insecurities had cost me so much, but then I thought back and knew that Charlie was right. I loved football. I was never as free as I was on the field, and that was my one shot. She might have made what I considered to be the wrong choice, but I knew why she did it. She did love me and want me; she wanted me to be happy. She left me for me, so that I could have a better life than the one her father had. She gave up everything for me. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I finally accepted the fact that she never stopped loving me.

"Chief Swan, I don't know what to say. I had no idea about any of that, I mean I knew you guys were young when Bella was born, but she never told me any specifics. I'm so sorry, I really am."

He looked at me, his lips turning up slightly at the corners, "Edward, there is nothing to be sorry about. That's life; you don't always get the things you want. Nothing is easy. Maybe if Renee and I had worked harder on our relationship, things would be different, but we didn't. That's no one's fault but our own, you shouldn't feel bad about that."

I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to decide what to say next. "Chief Swan, I love Bella. I've never stopped loving her, and I want her back. Now that I know about E.C., I can't ever stop trying to convince her to come back to me. Alice told me that she talks to her but maybe you know more than she does. Do you think Bella would want me? I'm not perfect; I've made a lot of mistakes, but do you think she could ever get past that and come back to me?"

"I don't know son, that's something only she can answer, but I do know that she's only ever thought of you. Every time I talk to her she asks about you and your family. I know she and E.C. have watched every college football game you've ever played in, and she has them all recorded for him to watch whenever he wants to."

My eyes widened in shock and I tried to speak, but there were no words. She watched me play? She recorded my games so that our son could watch me play? My heart pounded and I felt as if it was trying to claw its way out of my chest.

"She tells him about me?" I asked, with far too much emotion in my voice.

"Yes, son, he knows about you. She has pictures of you, one in particular of you in your uniform, I think she got it from Alice, and E.C. carries it all over the place. She finally had it laminated so that he wouldn't ruin it. You should have seen him last time they visited here; he lost it and wouldn't leave the house until he found it." The Chief started to laugh, remembering the little boy I was aching to know. "Bella finally found it in the sofa here and I had never seen E.C. so happy."

"Bella visits here?" I had to know.

"Yes, she has a few times. Not too often, and she doesn't venture out much when she does, but she has been here. She was here in the spring, March I think. They stayed for a few days but had to get back, she had some school work to do. She's a very focused girl, I'm so proud of her. She finished high school and she's going to college and she has a job. Plus she takes such good care of that little boy. I must tell you Edward, he's the spitting image of you. He has Bella's eyes, but everything else is you. Did you notice that when you saw him?" he asked.

I closed my eyes, the painful memories of that day on the beach overcoming me. "No, I don't really remember. I was so overwhelmed at seeing Bella that I didn't pay close enough attention to E.C. I didn't know who he was at the time," I stated, the regret heavy in my voice.

The Chief looked at me for a moment, "Oh, well I've got a picture here in the hallway, let me get it." He stood up and walked out of the room, returning a moment later with a frame. He handed it to me and as I looked at the photo it held, my world stood still. He was beautiful. The little boy looking back at me from the frame was the most exquisite creature I had ever laid eyes on. I couldn't stop my fingers from raising and tracing his features, saddened by the coolness of the glass over the image. I wanted to touch him for real; to feel his warm skin under my hands; to hear his breathing; to smell the scent of his shampoo. I wanted to know him, to hold him and kiss him and tell him that I loved him.

I let out a long, pained sigh. Raising my eyes to look at the Chief once more, I softly asked, "Does he talk about me? Does he know me at all?"

The Chief smiled at me, a real smile, and gently said, "Yes son, he knows you. He loves you, he calls you daddy. He's proud of you. He carries his little purple University of Washington football everywhere. Apparently Alice had you sign it and she sent him that and a jersey, which he wears every other day. Bella has to hold him down to take it off of him so that she can wash it."

A gasp rushed from my lungs at the thought of him loving me. Was it the same football from the beach? I tried to remember what color it had been, only thinking it looked blue to me in the fading sunlight of the day. But there was gold on it, I remembered the gold W that was boldly printed on the side. It was mine, it was for me. I had to see him, I needed to see Bella, and Charlie had to help me.

"Chief Swan, I need them to come here. Is there any way that you could help me to get them both here? Alice is getting married in a couple of weeks and she wants Bella to be there. Do you think she'll come if I ask?"

The Chief looked seriously at me for a moment, "I don't know Edward, and stop with all this Chief talk, call me Charlie, that's my name. I'll give you her phone number and her e-mail address and you can call and talk to her, see what you can do. I'll encourage it from my end too; hopefully between the two of us we can convince her."

I clutched the picture to my chest, hoping that soon I would have the real thing, not this substitute. Charlie looked at me and the picture, "Why don't you keep that, I probably have another one here somewhere. It's more important for you to have it, I think."

I smiled at him, grateful for the compassion he had always shown me. "Charlie, I need to thank you. You have never been anything but kind to me and I don't know how you did it. Everything that happened with me, Bella and E.C. and yet you were never mean to me. You should have come after me when she got pregnant and you didn't. Why didn't you?"

Charlie sighed, looking down to the floor, shifting nervously as he stood near me. "Edward, you're a good man. You treated my daughter respectfully and you loved her. Things happen. Sometimes we don't know why, but they do. I would have been a hypocrite to come after you when I had done the same thing. There is no crime in loving some one, and Bella is pretty incredible. She's hard to say no to, I know that. I had hoped that the two of you would be more responsible, but like I said, things happen. It wasn't planned, but that little boy of yours is the most amazing child I've ever seen. He's so smart and so good; he's truly an angel here on earth. I can't wait for you to meet him and see for yourself."

I stood from my chair, tucking the frame under my arm. I stood looking at Bella's father, a whole new respect for him, and extended my hand to him. "Thank you sir, for helping me, for loving Bella, and for accepting my son. I'm so sorry I didn't know sooner. I'm sorry for the way things turned out, for not being more responsible. I really do want to change things, I want them both forever, I'm not complete without them." I was so grateful to him, and yet also humbled by his words. My emotions were all over the place and I knew that I lacked the ability to express them properly, but I wished that I could make him see; make him truly understand what I was feeling. Somehow I figured he probably knew.

Charlie looked down at my hand and sighed, raising his arms and pulling me into an embrace. I wrapped my free arm around his waist, feeling the emotions I had been fighting all day come over me. "You're a good man, Edward, you need to believe that." I nodded my head, taking a deep breath and feeling tears slide down my cheek. "She loves you, I know she does. You'll get her back, trust me, you will." I sniffled a little, pulling away from Bella's father, and looking down at the floor.

"Thanks Charlie, it means a lot that you would say that, and thank you again for agreeing to help me." He stepped back, turning away from me and walking towards the kitchen. I stood silently for a moment, taking in all the things that Charlie had said. As I started for the front door, he came back down the hallway, a paper in his hand. I looked down to see what it said as he shoved it towards me. It was a phone number and an e-mail address. Finally, I had a way to contact Bella. Every cell in my body screamed for me to get home, yearning to hear her voice.

Charlie walked me to the door, patting me on the back as I left his home. My feet couldn't move me fast enough down the walk way. I clung to the picture of my son, the beautiful brown eyes I had missed for four years staring back at me. As I set the frame on the passenger seat and put my keys in the ignition, I said quietly to no one but myself, "Soon my boy, I'll see you soon."

I backed out of the drive way, heading towards my future. A future that suddenly looked so much brighter.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked it. I hope it explained a bit more for you about why, exactly, Bella did what she did, and why no one stopped her. And before we get antsy here, NO, Carlisle and Esme do not know about E.C. We'll get into that next chapter… :) **

**How about some rec's, shall we? **

_**Hydraulic Level 5**_** by Gondolier – This fic is one of my favorites. It's so smart and well written and just planned out so amazingly perfect – I can't figure out what's going to happen next, but I KNOW something is wrong with Edward. There's got to be, otherwise, what is he up to? Do yourself a favor and read this…you will be so proud of yourself!  
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4931075/1/**

**And a completed fic. This one isn't actually complete yet, but hopefully by tomorrow at this time, the epi will be posted and it will be done!**

_**Shadowboxer**_** by nobloodnofoul. This is one of my favorite stories in the Twilight FF world. I love it, it's just perfection. I never knew, clear up until the end, exactly how she was going to go with this. I guess I still don't since the epi isn't actually up yet, but you can bet I'll be fully immersed in that baby tomorrow! :D  
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4931075/1/**

**There you go, some awesome fics to pass your time with. And they are all so good too! :D**

**I'm hoping to start posting new chapters on my other story, **_**What I Really Meant To Say**_**, next week, maybe, so keep an eye out for something new from me. I'm not sure which story it will be, but we'll see when next Thursday gets here, if we don't float away from all of the rain first. :P**

**Thanks so much for reading this! Push the little button…leave me some love… :)**


	5. Chapter 5 I Will Be

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a lot of bills that I should pay by getting a job. But that would cut into my fanfic time… Food or fanfic… Food or fanfic… Man, that's a hard choice.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore**_**. We might not share the same taste in music (really, who doesn't love Stevie Nicks? Or Pat Benatar? Or Rick Springfield? Or Journey? That could be a deal breaker right there…but I'm doing my best to move passed it.) but I love her in rather questionable and possibly inappropriate ways…**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_**I'm glad I have you to cry on. You could never fully understand how much I love you all. :)**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections**_** for being wonderful and supportive and helpful. You girls make my day a little bit brighter.**

**So I seem to have fallen into the alternating weeks pattern that I was hoping to get into. One story one week, and other story the next. I like that schedule, we'll have to see how it goes.**

**Enjoy this and I'll talk at you in a bit…**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 5 – I Will Be**

_There's nothing I can say to you  
Nothing I could ever do to make you see  
What you mean to me  
All the pain the tears I cried  
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you'd go  
I know I let you down but its not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go_

_I will be all that you want and get my self together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day and make every thing okay_

"I Will Be" by Avril Lavigne

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked in the garage door and was overcome by the smell of my mothers' cooking. I had never fully appreciated it until I went off to college and my lack of cooking skills forced me to survive on Hot Pockets for the first month. To this day, the site of them made my stomach turn, and if I actually caught a whiff of one, I couldn't get to a bathroom fast enough. It occurred to me as I walked down the hallway that I was still carrying the picture of E.C., and for a moment I panicked. Did my parents know about him? Had they been a part of the secrets and lies? Alice hadn't mentioned them, but I couldn't be sure.

I paused in the doorway and saw my mother and father hard at work making dinner. I realized it was after five in the evening, meaning I had driven around town a lot longer than I planned to before going to talk to Charlie. It was still strange to refer to him as Charlie; he has always been the Chief, or Bella's dad. I exhaled, building up my courage as I walked into the kitchen, the picture safely beneath my arm.

My mother glanced towards me, a smile spreading across her face, "Edward, you're home! I was hoping you'd be back before dinner. What did you do with yourself today? Did you ever call Tyler back? He was looking for you last week, remember?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, "Yeah, I remember. I haven't talked to him yet, I called but he wasn't around. I'll try him again tomorrow." I rubbed my shoe across the floor where I stood, twisting my toes into the hardwood.

"Well, we're going to eat in about half an hour, so if you want to help I could have you butter some bread for me, I need to get it under the broiler," my mother said to me as she continued chopping lettuce for a salad.

"Sure mom, I'll be right back, I just need to put something away." I knew as the words were flying out of my mouth that I shouldn't be saying them, that I should just avoid this conversation as long as I possibly could, but it was too late.

My father looked up at me, eyeing the frame under my arm, "Oh, what do you have there?" My mother shifted her eyes to the frame and smiled, raising her eyebrows in expectation. I let out a breath and took a hold of the picture, placing it on the counter top. They both leaned closer to get a look at the photo I had just set down. My father grunted, saying, "Oh, cute kid. Who does he belong to?" I turned my gaze towards my mother who was studying the picture much more closely than my father had.

She slowly raised her eyes to mine, questions written clearly across her face. "Edward, who is that?" she asked cautiously. I didn't answer, instead bringing my hand to the picture, tracing the outline of E.C. with my finger. When I looked back towards my mother I watched as she dropped the knife she was holding, her breaths coming in gasps. My father jumped up from his seat and ran around the kitchen island to my mother.

"Esme, dear, what's wrong? Are you feeling alright?" he asked, running his hands over her as if checking for something tangible that would make her react this way.

She quietly asked me again, "Edward, who is that?" As I looked into her eyes I could tell immediately that she knew. She had always been able to see things more clearly than anyone else I'd ever known. There were waves of panic rolling off of her as she raised her hand to her throat.

My father looked at the picture again, a little more closely this time, and voiced his observations, "Wow, he has that same crazy hair color that you do. He looks so familiar, like I've seen him before, but those eyes are so dark. Why do I feel like I know him?" He looked up to me, searching for answers.

My voice shook as I began to speak. "His name is E.C. I got this picture from Charlie Swan; I went to see him today. I saw Bella when I was in Miami, after I found her address on one of Alice's wedding invitations, and I went to see her. I didn't talk to her or anything, but I saw her, and E.C. was with her. I didn't know who he was until I got home and Alice told me." I paused and took in a deep breath, preparing myself for the reaction I was sure my parents would have. "E.C. is Bella's son. He's almost four years old." I quieted my voice before finally telling them, "He's also my son."

There was no sound, as the room fell completely silent and my parents took in the blow I had just dealt them. I saw my mother's hand start to shake and my father wrapped his arm around her, pulling her to him. He swallowed before speaking, "This is your son, Edward? Our grandson? You're sure? How could you have never told us this? Edward…"

My mother dropped her eyes to the side, speaking softly, "Oh that poor girl, she's been alone this whole time with him. Oh we should be helping her, she should have been here with us, I could have helped her..."

"No," I stated, "I didn't know about him. Bella never told me, you have to know that. She's living with her mother in Miami, her mom is helping her. I had a long talk with her dad today and he explained a lot of things to me." My mother looked up at me, her eyes wide with an emotion I couldn't pin point; shock, disappointment, anger, fear. I was nervous about saying any more, but I knew I had to tell them everything.

"Bella left me because she was pregnant and she didn't want me to give up my life for her. She didn't feel like she was worth that." I shook my head back and forth, still unable to believe that she really thought so little of herself and the hold she had on me.

My father spoke, "His name is E.C.? Alice knew about this? Is that what you said?"

"Yes, his name is Edward Charlie, and Alice did know. She promised Bella that she would never tell anyone. I don't blame her for that; I'm glad that Bella had someone she could trust all this time. I know why Bella did the things she did, I'm not happy, but I get the reasoning behind her decisions."

I picked up the picture, turning towards me again, "He's beautiful, isn't he? I can't wait to meet him, to get to know him. Charlie said that Bella tells him about me, that he watches my football games on tape. Alice sent him a ball and a jersey and some pictures of me too."

My mother looked at me, tears in her eyes, "Edward, you're beaming, do you know that?"

I smiled, feeling my cheeks blush slightly, "I guess that's what dad's do, right? They get all proud of their kids?" My father laughed and nodded his head in agreement. I sighed, hoping that he wasn't too disappointed in me. "I'm going to call Bella later, but right now I think I want to put this away and then help you with dinner, if that's okay mom?"

She grinned, nodding her head. "Where are you going to put that picture, Edward?" she asked.

"I thought I'd put it in my room, on my nightstand."

"Could you leave it in here so I can see it? I just want to look at him for a little while. Please, if you don't mind? He looks so much like you did as a child, but I see Bella in his eyes." She gazed at the picture that was still clutched tightly in my hands and her voice cracked as she continued, "I just want to look at him, have him in here. It feels more like he's a part of our family if he's closer to us, if I can see him."

The smile fell from my face and tears pricked my eyes. She loved him already. She hadn't even met him yet, and she loved him.

"Of course mom, we'll put this in here. I'll talk to Chief Swan and see about getting some more pictures," I assured her.

"Don't you worry about that, I'll call Charlie and take care of everything. I'm sure he won't mind if I send off a few pictures to the photo lab and have some copies made." She smiled brightly, a laugh coming from her throat. She turned and looked at my father, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek, "We're grandparents Carlisle, can you believe it?"

He laughed, leaning his head into hers, "No, I can't believe it, but I already love it."

As I watched them gush over the picture of E.C. I knew I never should have doubted them. Deep in my heart I knew they would love my son as much as I did and they would never be angry with me.

I had to get E.C. to Forks. We all needed him here, and I needed Bella.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked into my room after dinner still slightly taken aback by my family's behavior. We usually ate in silence, or discussing work or school, but tonight all anyone mentioned was E.C. and Bella. I loved it. It had been so long since I felt close to Bella and hearing everyone talk about her and their favorite memories of her, made her that much more real to me. I started to remember what it was like to be with her, to hold her hand, to have her fingers in my hair, to feel her writhe underneath me, to hear her whisper my name. Four years worth of longing for her had lurked quietly within me, and after today I knew it was about to burst free.

I lay on my bed, the picture of E.C. clasped tightly in my hands. The more I looked at him, the more I longed for him, and for Bella. After a few minutes I finally picked up the paper that Charlie had given me and grabbed my cell phone. I looked at the clock, wondering what time it was in Miami, hoping it wasn't too late. When I realized it was just after ten at night there, I thought maybe I should wait to call Bella, but I knew I couldn't so instead I dialed a number that I still had memorized after four years.

Charlie answered after two rings. "Hey Charlie, its Edward. I wanted to ask you something really quick, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Edward, no it's fine. What's up?"

"I wanted to call Bella tonight but I'm afraid it's too late. Do you think it would be too late now, if I called her?" I asked.

"Well, no, I think you'd be fine. I just talked to her a little while ago and she said she was home for the night, so I think you should definitely call. Just don't wait too much longer, I don't know how late she'll stay up," he told me.

I sighed, "Thanks Charlie, I really appreciate it."

"No problem Edward. Oh, and just so you know, I didn't tell her that I had seen you or talked to you, so she has no idea it's gonna be you calling."

"Oh, okay, thanks for that. It's probably better if she's not expecting me, right?"

"Yeah, probably," he agreed. "I'll let you go so that you can make that phone call and I can get back to my game. Good luck Edward, you're gonna need it."

I heard a small chuckle in his voice and paused for a moment, wondering if this was such a good idea after all. "Good night Charlie, and thanks for all of your help. Oh, and you might want to be home tomorrow morning, I think my mom is going to be stopping by. She's got a list of demands. Sorry about that."

Charlie's chuckle turned into a loud laugh, "Oh Edward, she's already called three times tonight. I've got a box by the front door full of stuff for her, though I'm sure she'll find more things before she's done with me."

I laughed, knowing my mother would leave his house with a lot more than just one box of pictures. I almost couldn't wait to see what she would find.

I hung up with Charlie, determined to dial the number I had been staring at for the last 5 minutes. I heard the tone each button made as I pressed them. I held my breath as I raised the phone to my ear, praying that she would be home, and that she wouldn't hang up on me. After three rings I heard a click and then a deep voice, "Hello?"

It wasn't Bella, I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. "Hi, is Bella there?"

"Yeah, is this Jake?" he asked. My heart dropped; who was Jake?

"Um, no, this isn't Jake," I said softly,

"Oh, okay, well let me get her, hold on." I heard him call out to Bella before his voice spoke into the phone again, "She's coming."

I muttered a thank you and waited. I heard shuffling on the other end of the line and soon a voice cleared. As I heard the words my eyes closed and I felt my heart sing at the familiarity of them. It had been so long since I had heard them.

"Hello?" she said. I froze, unable to make any sound. After a moment she spoke again, "Hello?" It felt as though time was passing in slow motion, her voice still ringing in my ears. "Is anyone there? Hello?" I had to say something before she hung up.

I cleared my throat and finally spoke, "Hi, Bella?"

"Yes, this is Bella, who's this?"

I hesitated, not knowing what to say, "Uh, Bella. It's Edward."

I heard her gasp on the line and then she was silent. After what seemed like a month, but couldn't have been any longer than ten seconds, I continued. "Um, your dad gave me your number and I wanted to call, I had to hear your voice. I'm sorry it's so late, I can call back if you're busy." _Please don't be busy…_

Her voice was quiet and timid, "No, it's fine. I…I wasn't expecting it to be you. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. It's been a really long time Edward."

"Yeah, it's been too long. I'm sorry I never called before now. I wanted to, everyday, but you asked me not to and I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. I'm sorry if you still don't, but I need to talk to you." I silently prayed that she wouldn't be upset that I had called. The only thing that kept me from finding her, and looking up her number over the past four years was her pleading for me not to. Now that she was once again connected to me, even though it was just across a phone line, my heart stuttered with the thought that she could hang up. With one little click she could take herself away from me again. I held my breath, hoping that she would continue talking, that she would stay with me.

I heard some noises in the background before a voice started to speak, "Momma, I need a drink, I can't sleep."

Bella replied in a whisper, her voice away from the phone, "E.C., shhhh, be quiet, baby, go back to bed. I'll bring your cup in a minute." E.C.'s little voice began to protest, and Bella quickly spoke into the phone again, "Edward, can you hang on for a minute?"

I nodded, not that she could see it, "Yeah, sure." Then as an afterthought I quickly said, "Just don't hang up on me, please!"

"I won't, I'll be right back." She must have placed her hand over the receiver because her words were very muffled, but I could still make out what she said. My son's voice continued speaking in the background, "Momma? Who you talking to, huh? Can I say hi to them?" Oh, how I wished she would put him on the phone, but I knew it wouldn't happen tonight.

"E.C., please baby, you have to be quiet. This is very important, please stay quiet, okay?" Bella begged.

"Is that Jake, Momma? Is he gonna bring me a sucker?" E.C. asked.

"No honey, it's not Jake. I told you, Jake isn't going to be around much anymore so don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay Momma. Who is it then? I wanna talk."

"Oh sweetie, not now, okay? Let me talk to him and then maybe later I'll let you talk, okay?"

"Okay. Who is it?"

Bella was quiet for a moment, "It's your daddy honey, I need to talk to him, okay? I promise, I'll let you call him in a couple of days, alright? Now run back to your bed and I'll be in to tuck you in, okay?"

"That's my daddy?" His voice sounded like that of an angel, and I wanted to scream to Bella, ask her to put him on the phone, but I knew I couldn't. I was faced with another question; should I tell her over the phone that I knew about E.C.? Should I wait to let her mention it? What if she never did? I could tell that she was trying to keep her voice down, whispering to him in an effort to keep me from hearing their conversation. No, I decided, I would only talk about the wedding. Everything else could wait, unless she brought it up.

I listened intently as Bella pleaded with E.C. to go back to bed. Sorrow and regret consumed me when I realized that for the last four years, this had been her life. When I was flying across the country to play football, she was fighting with our son, trying to make him go to bed. When I was out at clubs, grinding on a different girl every night, she was at home reading stories to our son, getting ready to tuck him. The pain of these thoughts threatened to drown me, to pull me under and never let me resurface, but then I heard his muffled little voice through the phone again and I realized all of the things that I had missed out on. Not only was I sad that Bella had given up her life for our son, but I regretted that I had missed so much of it. Through all that time I never had any real joy, nothing to make me smile or laugh, nothing to fill me with pride. Bella had gotten that. As much as I may have felt like I had deprived her of a typical teenaged life, I knew that between the two of us she clearly got the better end of the deal.

Through the phone I heard a door close and then Bella's breathing, "Edward, you still there?" she cautiously asked.

"Of course, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, I'm sorry about that. So, you were saying you needed to talk to me about something?"

I cleared my throat, "Yes, um Alice asked me if I would get in touch with you, she didn't give me your number or anything, she just said she wanted me to call you. Uh, it's about the wedding. She said she hasn't heard from you and that she's afraid you aren't coming."

"Oh," Bella said, clearly disappointed that this was the reason I was calling, "Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to make it, I was trying to but I just don't know if things are going to work out. I feel really bad about this."

"Bella, please, if you aren't coming because of me, please reconsider it. Alice needs you here. You know how she is, she has no real friends other than you, and she never has. The only other girl she has as a bridesmaid is Emmett's wife, Rosalie. She really needs you Bella." I had to let her off the hook, make her understand that if she really didn't want to see me, I would stay away from her. "If it's about me don't worry, I'll stay away if that's what you want. I won't talk to you or anything; you won't even know I'm there. Please, think about it, for Alice's sake."

Bella was quiet before finally speaking, emotion showing when her voice cracked, "Edward, it's not you. Believe me, I would love nothing more than to see you. I got time off from work and everything, but classes are starting soon and I just don't know if I can afford it right now. I know that's a horrible excuse, but it's the truth. I'm sorry, I really do want to see Alice, and I really need to see you. There are a lot of things I need to explain, the reasons I left. What I did was wrong, Edward, and I'm so sorry."

I fought the smile that was beginning to grow across my face – she wanted to see me. If it was just money that was keeping her from me, then I would make sure it wasn't an issue. "Well, when were you planning on coming out? I mean, how much time did you take off from work?" I asked.

"Well, Alice said that there was a rehearsal dinner on Thursday and then a Girls Night on Friday, so I had planned to fly out on Wednesday so I could be there for those things. My dad is anxious to see me, so I got the whole next week off of work too; I wasn't going to fly back until the next Saturday."

"Oh, okay, well if it's just the money then don't worry, there will be two round trip tickets waiting for you at the counter. I'll have them call you with the details and I'm sure either Alice or your dad will want to pick you up from the airport," I said, happy that I could do this for her, but knowing that it was mostly for me.

"Edward, I can't let your family pay for my plane tickets. Wait, you said two tickets… Why would I need two tickets?" Oh crap, I had slipped up. I scrounged my brain for something, anything, to cover for my thoughtlessness.

"Oh, I just figured you had a boyfriend or something. Your step dad asked if I was Jake when I called, I thought that must be your guy or whatever." I frowned, hoping she would buy the line I was feeding her.

"What? He asked if you were Jake? Oh man, no Edward, I'm not seeing anyone. Jake is just this guy from work that I'm friends with. He loves to come over and talk to Phil about baseball stuff. I swear, my mother thinks he has a crush on me, but I think his crush is really on Phil. I mean, he's a nice guy, always playing catch with E.C., but totally not my type, we're just friends, I promise." After she finished speaking she must have realized her mistake, she mentioned our son. I couldn't let the chance pass me by.

"Oh, who's E.C.?" I questioned.

"Oh, uh, he's the little boy next door. Yeah, he lives next door. He's big into baseball and stuff." I had to stop myself from laughing and the way she was stammering, she was flustered, and she knew she was a bad liar.

"Well, that's nice I guess. Um, I'd better let you go, it's getting late and you probably have things to do, huh?"

She replied, "Oh, yeah I guess I should go. Um, Edward, please don't let you family pay for my plane tickets. I can't ask that of them, it's not right."

"Bella, my family isn't paying for them, I am. Don't worry, it's called inheritance, and I can't think of anything my grandmother would rather me spend money on then my first love."

We were both quiet after that, neither of us quite knowing what to say. Bella broke the silence first, "I was your first love?"

I giggled softly, "You know you were. You were the only one... ever. How could you not know that?"

"I know, I just can't believe it."

"Bella, do you still have that ring I gave you?"

"Yes," she said.

"And do you wear it?"

"Yes, always."

"What did I tell you when I put it on your finger the last time?" I silently prayed that she would remember.

She was quiet for a moment, "You said that I should look at it and remember that no matter where you were, you were in love with me." I could hear the heartbreak showing through every syllable she so beautifully spoke.

"Yes, that's what I said, love."

"Do you still mean it Edward? Do you still love me, even after everything I've done? Can you still want me?" I could hear her crying and I yearned to wrap my arms around her and kiss her until the foolish thoughts fell from her head.

"Yes I still mean it. Forever love, forever."

She gasped, taking in quick breaths, her sobs turning more forceful. After a few sniffles she spoke, "Okay, um, I guess I'll see you next week then, right?"

"Yes, you will see me next week. I'll be counting down the hours, I can't wait."

"Edward," she said, "I know I asked you when I left to not hate me for doing it. You don't hate me, do you?"

"No Bella, I could never hate you," I reassured her.

"Okay, just keep that in mind. We need to talk, maybe after the wedding would be better. There are some things that you'll probably not like and I don't want to ruin Alice's day."

"Bella, we can talk after the wedding, but just so you know, I'll be waiting at the city line and as soon as I know you're here, you're mine. I can't be away from you anymore."

"No, Edward, just wait, please? Let me explain everything first, then you can decide how you feel about me," she begged, the panic clear in her voice. I couldn't deny her, even though I already knew what she was referring to.

"Okay, we'll see. Go do what you need to do and I'll see you when you get here. Oh, and thanks for not hanging up on me tonight," I said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I won't do that again, I promise. It was hard enough the last time." She said, obviously remembering when she hung up on me the night of my graduation. I hoped she would be in better spirits as we got close to ending our call, but I didn't know if that was really possible. I knew I had to get off the line before I blew it and mentioned E.C.

"Okay Bella, I'll see you next week," I stated.

"Alright, next week it is. I can't wait, Edward. I miss you."

"I miss you too baby. Hurry back to me."

"Always, Edward. I never really left, you know?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "I know."

I heard her breathe into the phone, "Goodnight love."

"Goodnight love," I said in return as I waited in silence for her to hang up. After several moments I heard the click, knowing that she had ended the call. I sat frozen, still stunned that I had actually talked to her. After all this time, I talked to her, and she loved me still. My heart soared with the news that she was still mine. I knew there was a lot to be done before we could be together, but she was coming to me and I would have her for ten days. I had never looked forward to anything as much as I did the following Wednesday.

My Bella was coming back to me, and in that moment I had no intention of ever letting her go.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Hope you love Grandma Esme as much as I do. And how was the phone call with Bella? Everything you always hoped it would be? :D**

**Okay, some rec's…because I can. And I want to share the wealth. :D**

_**My Life To Be**_** by **_**sleepyvalentina**_** – This story is by one of my favorite authors and it's so good. The way she writes is incredible. This is the official summary –  
****Forbidden attraction. Intense passion. Edward and Bella are committed to their significant others, who are equally committed to their jobs. There's no harm in platonic companionship. Is there?  
****Do yourself a favor and check it out. Actually read anything that sleepyval writes. You'll love it!**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)et/s/5439470/1/My_Life_to_Be**

_**Expectations and Other Moving Pieces**_** by **_**chrometurtle**_** – Next is a new story that I've seen rec'd lately, but two of my friends told me all about it on the very same day. I took that as a sign. And her summary –  
****Everything I had done in my life seemed to lead up to this moment. The moment when I found myself bound inextricably to a man I didn't love, trapped in a life I didn't want. And if I left him, I would be entirely alone.  
****Man, it's good!!!**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5440859/1/Expectations_and_Other_Moving_Pieces**

**And something complete –**

_**When Worlds Collide**_** by JandMsMommy – It's a wonderful story that is based on her real life. Wow, she's something else, this girl. She's sweet and lovely and I love her stories. Check this out, you'll love it.  
****Edward is an smart over achiever at Forks High with enormous potential. But underneath this facade, he feels trapped by his life. Will a mysterious next door neighbor help him break free from his personal cage & how much is he willing to risk for her?**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5490219/1/When_Worlds_Collide**

**There you go, now go read and tell them hello for me. :) ****I'll see you next week with a chapter of something good to read. I hope… :D**

**I love green so hit that green button and leave me some love. :)**


	6. Chapter 6 New Divide

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own up to is an adoration for the Winter Olympics and some of the most exciting sporting events known to man! I mean come on, who doesn't want to watch a man with the name of a Greek God, wearing a soul patch and bandana, race around a tiny ice rink with several other guys? And then have that same man compete in a relay race that can only be described as the epitome of organized chaos and mayhem? And if that's not enough, you get to watch a Flying Tomato (who reminds me so much of my younger brother that I just want to hug him and shoo all the girls away) soaring twenty feet above the ledge of a half pipe made of ice, doing tricks like the Big Backside Rodeo 540 or Back to Back Double Corks or the Double McTwist 1260. Uhhh, it's so exciting. :D**

**On a sadder note, the Winter Olympics just aren't the same without Michelle Kwan (I don't think I can even watch Ladies Figure Skating this time, it's too painful…I miss her) and Pikabo Street. Come one, how awesome would it be to have a name like Pikabo? Yeah, pretty freakin' awesome is right! :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She thinks she's a slacker…I know she's insane for even entertaining that idea. :)**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** So many things are happening: MissyV lost her father in law, Baby G's baby got her Kindergarten acceptance letter, and La V is getting ready to have a new baby. It makes me so happy I have you girls… :)**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this and liking it enough to not stop talking to me. I also should thank them for all the wonderful fan fic stories they are pointing me towards. I can't stop reading them…which is not good for my writing. :D**

**I hope you enjoy this. I think some of you will be pleased at the reactions of a few choice characters. I know I was caught a little off guard…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 6 – New Divide

_I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me  
I remembered each flash as time began to blur  
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me  
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

_So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean  
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes  
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between  
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide_

_In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny  
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide  
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

"New Divide" by Linkin Park

After hanging up with Bella, sleep still wouldn't come. Not having heard her voice for over four years and then to hear that she still loved me, that she still wanted me, had my emotions spiraling out of control. There was so much to be done before she would finally be with me, and I lay in my bed making a mental checklist so that nothing would be left out.

I wasn't sure if I was angry at myself for almost telling her I knew about E.C. or if it was happiness that I had thought to mention two airline tickets for her. Either way, I was ecstatic that she would definitely be bringing E.C. with her, though she seemed hesitant about seeing me again. My assumption was that it was because of him; she was worried to tell me about him before the wedding because she knew that if I was angry, it would ruin Alice and Jasper's big day. The only reason I could imagine being upset with her was if she refused, for some reason, to let me see him. I didn't know why she might do that, but it was just one of the many thoughts running through my head.

Early the next morning the sound of muffled voices, people shouting and crying, woke me. After quickly throwing some clothes on, I ran downstairs to the living room to where the noise was coming from and I was shocked to see Alice cowering into Jasper's chest as my father and mother stood by, clearly upset about something.

"Please explain this Alice; I don't understand how you could do something like _this_ to your brother. How you could do this to _us_! It doesn't just affect him, Alice, it affects all of us!" my father shouted. My mother stood next to him, holding on to his arm, murmuring and trying to calm him down while Jasper circled his arms around Alice, trying to soothe her.

Stepping into the room, I addressed my father. "What's going on? Why are you yelling at her?" I asked. I had a good feeling what this was about but needed clarification before getting involved.

"Your mother was over at Charlie Swan's this morning getting pictures of _your_ son, _our_ grandson, that your sister decided to keep from us. For four years, Alice," he yelled, turning back towards her, "You kept this a secret for four years!" Alice's sobs got louder, more forceful, and Jasper looked at me with pain and conflict in his eyes. He knew that what she had done was wrong, but he loved her and was her only source of support in that moment. He looked to me, pleading for help against my parents. I turned to look at Alice, and I couldn't help but notice how small she seemed, defenseless, and my big brother instincts from our early childhood kicked in; I needed to protect her.

"Dad," I stated forcefully, placing my hand on his arm. "Stop. This isn't going to do any good. I already explained this, Alice isn't at fault. It was Bella's choice, and she had a lot of good reasons for doing what she did. Don't yell at Alice for being a loyal friend to her, she did what she thought was right. That's how you raised us, remember? To be honest and true and to keep our word." He turned to me, squinting his eyes.

"Edward, how can you defend her? She kept your son a secret from you; your own flesh and blood. How can you just get past that?" he asked, curiosity clear in his voice.

"Dad, she loves Bella just like the rest of us do. Do I wish Alice had told me? Yes, of course I do, but she was keeping her promise to Bella. I can't fault her for doing something that I know I would have done in the same situation," I explained as I tried to reason with him.

My mother stepped forward, "Edward, we feel like she cheated all of us. We all missed out on knowing E.C. because of Alice's choice. Can't you understand why we are so upset? We're hurt, Edward, it's not just anger, we're hurt too."

There were tears in her eyes as she sniffled. "Yeah Mom, I get that. I'm hurt too, but this yelling, you two ganging up on her, isn't going to help. What's done is done, let's just move on and try to make the best of it, okay?"

My mother moved to the side of the room, picking up a box that was sitting on the floor. "This is what I got from Bella's father today, over a dozen pictures of my grandson. I'm never going to get to see him like this Edward, because of what Alice has done. Don't you get that? This is killing me." She shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks and she lifted a frame from out of the box. "I have dreamed of being a grandmother, of rocking my grandchildren to sleep, and Alice took that away from me."

She thrust the picture towards me and out of reflex I reached up and grabbed it from her before she pushed the corner of it into my chest. I looked down to see two big brown eyes and chubby pink cheeks looking back at me. It was a baby picture of E.C. crawling on the floor; he couldn't have been much more than six or seven months old. He was smiling crookedly at the camera as Bella sat next to him, holding a cracker just out of reach. Everything around me stopped, I didn't hear the yelling or crying, didn't feel the tension or hostility, all that I knew was the baby and the girl in the picture I held.

"I don't care," I said softly. "It doesn't matter what we missed. All that matters is what we'll be there for from now on. I'm his father, and if I can get over not being there for all of these things, then so can you." Looking up at my mother's face, I felt sad for the broken expression that she wore.

"Edward…" she said.

"Alice and Bella did what they thought was right. We don't have to like it but it's done and over with. I don't want to hear anything else about it." I placed the frame back into the box and turned to leave the room.

Something at that moment possessed Alice to speak and instantly I wished I had left the room ten seconds sooner. "I don't care if you hate me for this. What I did, I did for that baby!" she cried. "He's innocent in all of this, he didn't get a choice and he deserves better."

I turned around to look at her just as my dad spoke, "He deserves better than us? Than our family, is that what you're saying?"

Alice looked at the floor and closed her eyes, her voice low and biting, "He deserves better than Edward for his father."

My heart dropped. "What?" I seethed, stalking closer to her. "Alice, please explain what you're saying right now because last I checked, I was the only one in this room defending you."

She looked up at me, liquid steel in her eyes, as she spoke, "Mom, Dad, don't worry, you probably have lots of other chances to be grandparents, what with all the girls Edward's been with."

"Alice…" I growled at her, but she didn't stop.

She turned to face them, "Do either of you have any idea how many women your angelic son has had sex with? Any idea at all?"

My mother looked to me, "Edward, what is she talking about?"

I glanced at her quickly before returning my scowl back to Alice, "It's nothing Mom, don't worry about it. I made mistakes and this is no place to rehash them, Alice."

She pulled away from Jasper's grasp as he protested, "Are you sure he's your only child Edward? I mean, you were careless with Bella, what are the odds you were safe every other time? This is kind of important and Mom's so anxious to be a grandmother, maybe we should make some phone calls." She paused, disgust dripping from the words that followed, "Oh wait, you can't call any of them because you didn't care enough to even get their names, much less their phone numbers!" I felt as though I'd been slapped in the face, her accusations cutting me deeply. The worst part was that I knew she was right; there was no way for me to defend myself.

"Alice, stop it, don't do this," Jasper pleaded with her. "You aren't helping anyone right now, let's just go."

"No, they need to hear what their precious son has been up to for the last four years. I'm not the only one who was keeping secrets," she spat at me.

My mother stepped closer to me, confusion clear on her face, "Edward, what is she talking about? What kind of secrets have you been keeping? Other girls? What?"

I closed my eyes, disappointed with myself and all the things I had done and I let out a long, labored breath as I shook my head in frustration. "I didn't act the way I should have… the way you raised me to be. I have no excuse for what I did and I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be ashamed of me and I didn't want that. I don't even know what to say…"

Alice laughed softly, "Your wonderful, all-American baby boy is something along the lines of a man whore. You know what that is, right mom? He has sex, a lot of sex, with any girl that stumbles across his path."

My mother let out a sound that I'd never heard before as she grabbed onto my arm, pulling me towards her. "Is this true? Have you been doing that all this time? Is that why Bella left?"

My eyes snapped open at her accusation. "No, Bella left because she didn't want me to miss out on football, and because her mom and dad were in almost our exact same situation, only they got married and it destroyed their relationship. She didn't want that for us or for our child." Anger was growing within me and I was desperate to place the blame for everything on someone else—relieve my shoulders of a bit of it. "_She_ didn't leave because _I_ screwed around. _I_ screwed around because _she_ left! The only way I could try and stop the pain of that was by finding comfort from other girls."

My father shook his head, looking to the floor. "Edward, how could you do this, son? Do you have any idea how dangerous that kind of behavior is?"

"Yeah Dad, I know. Honestly, I didn't care. I was drunk most of the time anyway, and I just wanted to forget her and everything that happened. It was the only way I could get through the day." I was so embarrassed to be discussing this with my parents, of all people, but I knew that eventually it would come up. What was worse was that I knew if Bella ever did come back to me, I would have to have this conversation with her too, and it most likely wouldn't end with her still wanting me.

My mother sniffled as I turned toward her. "Where did you do this? Did you know any of the girls?" she questioned, concern clearly etched on her face.

"I don't know Mom, at school and clubs. I met girls at a lot of different places. It wasn't a big deal to me. I'd see someone, talk to her, and we'd hook up. That was it," I tried to explain to her so she would understand that none of the girls meant anything to me.

"Did you do this here with girls that we know, Edward?" she quietly asked.

I reached up with my hand, rubbing it across the back of my neck, realizing that there was no reason to hide anything else from them. "Um, yeah, a couple of times. I never brought them here though, never to the house. We'd just go somewhere or stay in the car or something. I don't think you know any of them so don't worry about running into them or their parents," I stated, knowing that she was most likely concerned with that.

Alice stood by with a smug look on her face, "Do you see now why I didn't want to subject that poor baby to this? Some role model you are, Edward. You should just be glad that I never told Bella about most of it."

"Alice!" Jasper said, grabbing onto her arm and spinning her around. "You promised me you would never tell her this stuff!"

I looked at Jasper, taking in the hurt look in his eyes as he stared at Alice. "So you told Alice about this? Why Jazz, why would you tell her?" I asked him, anxious to know why he would run to Alice with stories of my stupidity.

He looked up at me, our eyes locking as he spoke, "I had to tell someone Edward, the way you acted scared me. You had everything and you were throwing it away. I tried to help you, you know I did, but you wouldn't stop. I'm sorry, I told Alice everything and I don't regret it."

My mouth hung agape at his revelation – he had betrayed me. He was my best friend and he ratted me out. "You had to tell _her_, didn't you? You told my sister, of all people. I can't believe this, I trusted you and this is what I get?" Rage boiled through my veins and I had to get away before saying and doing things I would truly regret.

Bolting from the room, I rushed up the stairs to my bedroom, slamming the door and digging through the crap piled on my dresser looking for my wallet and keys. I threw my boots on and grabbed my cell phone as I left the room, heading for the garage. I could still hear yelling in the front of the house before the front door slammed so hard that the kitchen windows shook. After pausing for a moment, hearing my mother's sobs and wishing that I wasn't part of the reason for it, I continued to my car.

I drove aimlessly for hours, no destination in mind. Before I realized it, I was driving down the dirt road that led to the spot where Bella and I had spent so much time. Easing the car onto the shoulder of the road, I reached the place I usually stopped and wondered why it was that I somehow always ended up here when I needed to think. I turned off the car and sat in silence, reflecting over the morning and all the accusations and revelations that had been made.

After a few minutes I knew I needed to talk to someone, but sadly there was no one to call. It was the middle of the day so Emmett would be working, and I really didn't want to chance getting stuck on the phone all afternoon with his wife, Rosalie. She was pregnant and had been extremely moody lately, which he complained about every time I spoke to him. The only person I really wanted to talk to was Bella, but I couldn't just call, there needed to be a reason. After doing a little searching online through my cell phone, I was talking to the airlines and making arrangements for Bella's visit. I booked the seats, scrawling down all of the information before hanging up with them. Everything was taken care of and now there was a reason for me to call Bella.

The phone rang a few times while I mentally calculated what time it would be in Miami. It was the middle of the afternoon there, so I knew there was a good chance that Bella wasn't home. Just as I was about to hang up, some one answered. There was breathing on the line before the voice finally spoke, "Hu-woe," it said. My heart leapt from my chest when I realized it was E.C. speaking; it was my son.

"Hi, who's this?" I asked.

"Dis is E.C. Who's dis?"

"Hi E.C., this is Edward. How are you?" I wanted to keep him on the phone as long as I could, get him to talk to me about anything and everything.

I heard slight movements in the background as he spoke again, "I'n fine. I'n watchin TV. Do you da Wonder Pets?"

I racked my brain wondering what on earth he was talking about. "Um, yeah, their pretty cool, aren't they?"

"Yep, I like Tuck, he's a turle. Does you got a turle?" he inquired of me.

"Uh, no, I don't have a turtle. Do you like turtles? Have you ever seen one?"

"Yeah, me and Nana goed to da zoo. They has a big one, like a horse."

"Oh really?" I said as I laughed at his enthusiasm. "That sounds pretty cool. You must have a very nice Nana."

"Yep, she maked me cookies. You wanna talk to her?" he asked.

"Um, no. Is your mom there?"

"Yeah, you wanna talk to her?"

I smiled. "Yes, I'd love to talk to her," I told him.

The thrill that shot through my body in that moment surprised me. I was already beside myself with joy at the chance to finally speak to my son, but knowing that Bella was there, that I would really get to talk to her too, made me even more excited. I listened closely for Bella's voice in the background as E.C. spoke again.

"Okay. Jus a minute." I heard him move from wherever he was sitting and then his little footsteps running across a hard floor. "Momma!" he yelled.

"What E.C.? What's wrong baby?" I heard Bella's voice quietly call back to him.

"Momma, da phone. Der's a man on der. He likes turles," he said and I had to hold back a laugh.

"Okay, hang on honey."

Soon his voice was talking loudly back into the speaker, "Hey, I telled her. You like turles, right? I telled her dat." His voice was so beautiful and sweet, I could picture him in my mind holding the phone and calling out to Bella.

"Yeah, I do like turtles, it's a good thing you told your mom," I said.

"Oh, here she is. Bye!" I was sad at the idea of him giving the phone away, but then I heard Bella.

"Hello?" she said in the second sweetest voice I'd ever heard.

"Hey, Bella? It's me, it's Edward." There was silence on the line.

"Are you there Bella? I was just calling to give you the flight information for next week, if this is a bad time, I can call back."

I heard her let out a long, slow breath. "No, it's fine Edward. Um, oh…I should probably explain something," she spoke, the worry clear in her voice. "The boy that answered the phone, what did he say?"

I cleared my throat, "He said that his name is E.C. and that he likes turtles and saw some at the zoo. He also said he was watching some television program that I've never heard of." Laughing slightly, I realized that if all went well, I would be immersed in preschool TV shows before I knew it.

She was still painfully quiet on the other end and I yearned to comfort her, make things less awkward between us. "Are you babysitting or something? You said the boy next door was named E.C."

"Oh, yeah, that's it, right," she said with a loud exhale of breath. "Yeah, his mom went to the store so I'm babysitting. You're probably wondering why he called me mom, huh?" Her voice sounded worried and I could tell she was trying to think up an excuse that would be convincing.

"Well yeah, I kind of was." I tried to seem as though I was curious, like I didn't know exactly why he was calling her that.

"Well," she quietly began, "it's just a game he likes to play, that's all." I could hear something in her voice that wasn't quite right. It seemed like she was sad to tell me the things she was saying, and though I could hear it, that emotion made me hopeful that maybe she really did want to tell me; maybe she did want me to know.

"It's nice that you're willing to do that, that she can count on you for help."

"Yeah, I guess so," she said. She was quiet for a few moments after that, and I wondered how much the fact that I had been speaking to E.C. worried her. She seemed nervous and uncomfortable talking about him, so I quickly moved on to the main reason I had called.

"So, I was calling about the airline tickets, I said I'd get you the information on those once everything was set up," I reminded her.

"Mhmm, yeah. You already took care of that?" I realized it hadn't even been twenty four hours since I'd spoken with her and that may have made me appear a bit anxious to see her. I didn't care, I was.

"Well, the longer I wait, the higher the prices and there would probably be fewer seats available too. I just wanted to get it taken care of so you wouldn't have to worry," I told her genuinely, even though it had been my ulterior motive to talk to her. "Did you find someone to bring with you?"

"Oh, yeah, I got someone," she said quickly. She let out a groan before continuing. "Really, Edward, you didn't have to do this. Everyone would be fine if I wasn't there. Besides, I don't really think your family wants to see me, not after the way I left."

"Bella, I don't care what my family thinks. I just want to see you. Please, don't back out on me." I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her and hopefully holding her.

She sighed softly, "I'll be there, don't worry."

I gave her all the details I had written down then asked if she had set up a ride from the airport. "Yeah, my dad is gong to pick me up so I got it covered," she said.

"Okay, well if there's any problem just let me know, or you could call Alice, I'm sure she'd be happy to get you."

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind." The silence that followed was both awkward and comfortable at the same time. I reveled in the fact that I was so connected to her in that moment and I couldn't wait for it to be more than just over a phone. As I collected my thoughts, planning to what to say next, she spoke. "I'd better go Edward. I have some things I need to get done. Thank you for doing this for me, I really appreciate it."

With a small laugh I said, "You know I'm doing this for me, right? I want to see you, so as nice as this seems, it's really pretty selfish on my part. Just don't miss your flight, okay?"

"Don't worry, I'll make it. I promise. So, um… I'll see you Thursday night at the rehearsal dinner?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'll be there. Are you sure I can't see you before that? Even just for a few minutes?"

She took a long, slow breath in, and then let it out quickly. "Maybe. I'll call you Wednesday night, okay?"

"Okay, I'll look forward to it."

"Thanks again, Edward. I'm excited to see everyone; it's been a really long time."

"Well, we're all excited to see you too. Have a safe trip, alright?" I said.

"Alright. Bye Edward."

"Goodbye Bella."

I sighed as I ended the call, still unable to believe that I had actually spoken to her again. Relaxing into the seat, I looked out the windshield, taking in the site around me. It was such a beautiful area and I had never taken the time to notice. I had always been here when darkness hid the forest around me, or when I was too caught up in something, or someone, else to see it.

Getting out of the car, I walked to the hood and leaned against it, breathing in the rich scents of pine and dirt that enveloped me. I knew I had to go home soon and face the firestorm that awaited me there, but for just a few more minutes I was calm, remembering Bella and all the time she had spent with me in that exact spot. The thought flashed through my mind that the reason I had never seen the beauty of this place was because it could never compare to Bella and the beauty that radiated from her. I silently wondered if it would be the same if, and when, she was here with me again. With that thought in my head, I got back into the car and started for home, already planning out my time with Bella when she was in town for the wedding. The next week couldn't come soon enough for me, though I knew that the checklist in my head would take up a lot of my attention in the meantime. I didn't mind because it would give me something to focus on while trying to avoid the anguish that I was sure would consume my house.

As I walked in the kitchen door, I could feel it; tension, hostility, anger, but most noticeably sadness. My family was hurting and broken, and it was all my fault. I had a lot of repairing to do with the people I loved; I just hoped that I could fix the issues here before I tried to fix the problems with Bella. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew it would be worth it.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The next ten days flew by faster than any days before in my life. It was late Wednesday afternoon and I sat parked in a loading zone, praying that no delivery trucks would come along. The days at home had been filled with ups and downs, questions and accusations. Nothing had been resolved but I hoped that things were becoming easier, less painful. I knew it would be good for Alice to be moving in with Jasper and for me to be leaving for Miami because we all needed time apart so that we could heal and forgive one another.

My eyes were glued to the front doors of the small airport in Port Angeles, waiting to see the two people most important to me. I knew their flight had arrived, and having seen Charlie enter the building almost half an hour earlier, the reality of their arrival was becoming clearer. I was nervous, my legs bouncing uncontrollably. I bit at my fingernails, even though they were nothing but stubs, and I raked my hands through my hair, pulling at it. Glancing into the rear view mirror, I thought about how long my hair was getting and wondered if I should get it cut before seeing Bella. I racked my brain trying to remember if she liked it long or short and I was saddened when I realized I didn't know anymore.

I sighed as the song on the radio changed and I was about to turn to another station when I noticed movement from the front of the building. The doors began to open and out ran a burst of bronze haired energy. Quickly behind him ran the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and it took every ounce of self discipline to stop myself from running across the street and grabbing her, kissing her with all the passion I had built up over the past four years. She was smiling and yelling out to him. As I looked to where he was I saw a purple football in his hands and noticed the jersey he was wearing. Charlie hadn't been lying when he said E.C. wore it constantly. E.C. was laughing, most likely enjoying the freedom of running after being cooped up in various airplanes all day.

I slowly opened my door as they walked across the parking lot, their backs to me. I stood between the door and the car, wishing I could run to them, but holding myself back. I watched with yearning as they laughed, ran and enjoyed being together. Charlie followed them, pulling their suitcases behind him. When they reached the car I saw Bella move to put E.C. in the backseat, and I watched as straps lifted gently over his head. She busily secured him while Charlie placed their luggage into the trunk. He closed it down and as he turned to walk to the driver's door, he looked up, spotting me. I saw as he slowed his step, and then raised his hand slightly, offering me a wave. I could see a smile on his face and I raised my hand to wave back, smiling in return. He lowered his eyes towards the ground and continued on to his door.

Bella shut the back door, reaching for the handle of the passenger side door. She opened the door and froze, looking around the parking lot as if she was looking for someone. I quickly ducked back down into my car before her glance turned my way, but she continued to look around for a few moments before shrugging her shoulders and climbing into the car.

She had felt me; she knew I was here. My heart was bursting with the feeling that even after all this time, she had felt the same tug that I did when we were near each other. I could feel it the moment I saw her plane hit the ground and it had only gotten stronger with each passing minute. I watched their car pull out of the parking lot and waited, longing to be with them. As I headed back towards my home, I hoped that she would call that night, that she might let me see her for just a few minutes. Everything I wanted was driving away in Charlie's car, and I ached for the time when they could be in mine.

**BPOV**

The doors quietly opened and the scent of pine overwhelmed me… I was really back. I always considered Forks to be my home, though I didn't even live there for a full year. It was the place I loved most in the world, and in it lived the people I loved most, well, most of them. Two of them had moved away, but they would always be tied to that town and every good memory I had of Forks involved one, if not both of them.

E.C. squealed as he ran out the sliding doors, anxious to get to my father's car. He knew that his Grandpa Charlie kept goldfish crackers in it and E.C. had talked non-stop about them since leaving Miami that morning. I was so happy to see my dad waiting for us when we disembarked the plane, yet I was nervous about who else might be there. He could sense my mood and he assured me that he was it, there was no one else coming, though how he knew that I didn't know.

I instantly regretted my choice of clothing as we walked through the parking lot. Our jackets were packed away in our luggage and I was anxious to get E.C. buckled into the car, though he seemed completely oblivious to the crisp air. Listening to my father laugh at E.C. calmed me, and I knew that regardless of how the weekend went, I would always have him to support me.

After strapping E.C. into his seat and handing him the bag of crackers he asked for, I stepped towards the passenger side door, opening it to get in. Suddenly I was overcome with the feeling that someone was watching me. I froze, taking a few moments to glance around the area, looking for anyone who might be there. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, more the sense of completion or belonging. I turned and looked across the street, but still saw nothing.

"Bells, what are you doing?" my father asked from his seat inside the car.

I shrugged and sat down, pulling the door closed. "I thought I felt something, like someone was watching me. I don't know, weird huh?"

"Well, you know I've always taught you to follow your gut instinct, it won't ever lead you wrong. I'd rather have you safe than sorry." My father grinned his official 'chief of police' smile at me, and I laughed.

"Yeah, I know dad," I said.

He pulled out of the parking lot and as he did my eyes were drawn towards a car parked in a loading zone. I thought it a rather odd spot for such an expensive looking car to be parked, but when I looked closer my heart stopped. It was a Volvo and my mind suddenly raced back in time to another Volvo I knew all too well. I tried to look closer but was only able to see that the color of this car was a darker, charcoal color while the car I knew was lighter, silver. That car was also an older model than the one I was looking at, but I still couldn't turn away for some reason. I could see someone sitting inside, but we were too far away for me to make out any details. I silently prayed that it was him, that Edward had come to meet me, but soon remembered the little boy sitting in the backseat. If Edward had seen me, he would have seen E.C. too, and he would hate me.

For four years I dreamed that Edward would find me, that he would want me enough to overlook what I had done to him, what I had denied him. For four years he never came, he never called, there was no contact. Then out of the blue one night, he was on the phone and it was like all my dreams were coming true. Excitement bubbled up within me and I thought my heart would burst, until he told me he was calling about the wedding and that Alice needed me. He assured me that he too wanted to see me, that he missed me, and that he still loved me. However, he didn't know the truth. He asked me to meet him as soon as I got into Forks, but I begged him not to, I wanted to just get through the wedding before telling him about E.C. Before making him hate me with every fiber of his being.

I was so young—we both were—when I got pregnant. I knew that if I ever told him he would give up everything for me, and I couldn't let him do that. He had so many dreams and he had worked so hard, I couldn't deny him all the things that he had earned. The more I thought about it, about our relationship, our families and our lives, the more confident I felt in my decision to leave and never tell him. What eighteen year old boy wants to be tied down to one girl for the rest of their life? To be saddled with a baby, a job, and a mortgage? I wanted more for us, and I desperately wanted more for him. I knew the pain my parents had suffered when faced with almost the exact same situation, and I wanted to spare Edward the same heartache and fate that they had endured.

I knew that many people would see it as the wrong choice and that Edward should have had a say in the situation that befell us, but I knew him all too well. I knew what he would do, and at the time I couldn't bring myself to let him do it. I felt bad about denying his family the right to know and love E.C., but there was no way for them to know and Edward not to. Besides, they would have insisted that he tell the school, and then he would have lost his scholarship anyway. His parents had money, they could have paid for him to get an education, but I knew how much it cost because I had seen Edward's enrollment papers. I couldn't ask them to pay that much money for him to go to school, and in addition to that, most likely help support us. It broke my heart to leave him, but I had no other choice. It was the best thing for everyone involved, or at least that's what I told myself for four years.

This trip was my chance to fix things. I needed to see Edward and I needed to explain in person as I hopefully made him understand that everything I did, I did for him, for us. I needed him to know that I always told E.C. about his daddy, and that he loved Edward. I also needed Alice to know how grateful I was that she never told anyone. She was truly my only friend, and I put such a huge burden on her, asked so much of her, and I knew that it hurt her family and her relationship with Edward.

I knew that I also needed to see Edward's parents, to explain about E.C. and why I never told them they had a grandson. I was hopeful that they would all give me the chance to make things right and I prayed that they wouldn't hate me for keeping him from them. Most of all, I hoped that they would accept E.C., and that they wouldn't punish him for my choices, my mistakes. I wanted them to love him the same way he already loved them.

As we drove towards Forks, E.C. happily munching away on his fishy crackers, I stared out the window, watching trees fly by in a blur. I was going home, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't hiding anymore.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Sooooo, how do you think the first Bella's POV went? There won't be a lot of it in this story, just a few bits here and there. This is Edward's story, so we're gonna stick with him for the most part. Is anyone else mad at Alice? She was just lashing out after feeling attacked, though I know a LOT of you probably thought she had it coming. :D**

**Who's ready for Edward to finally get to see Bella again? Maybe ready for a little Father/Son bonding time? We'll have to wait and see what happens, these characters tend to have minds of their own. :D**

**Thanks for reading this! I love that you did… :)**

**And now for some recs…**

_**Counterpoint**_** by sleepyvalentina – "Socially isolated and intellectually brilliant, sixteen year old Edward Cullen has never found a person outside of his family with whom he could connect, until a chance encounter changes everything." This is the Edward POV version of her story **_**Art After 5**_**. It's amazing and one of my favorites. I drop everything to read it, every single update. :)**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5139976/1/Counterpoint **

**And she has a pretty new website too for all of her stories. See how awesome she it? :D**

**http:/( )sleepyvalentina(dot)com/**

_**My Escort**_** by Bratty-Vamp – "When Edward's partial scholarship gets taken away, he reluctantly takes the advice of his roommate and gets a job at a high-class escort agency. Relax... it's a legit company. He's got nothing to lose. Or does he?" This is another one that I will drop anything for to read. It's good…really good. :)**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5394790/1/My_Escort**

**And a completed one…**

_**The Tutor**_** by ItzMegan73 – "New student Bella Swan needs to break out of her shy exterior and her guidance counselor has the answer: tutoring. And Bella is too new to know she shouldn't want to tutor Edward Cullen." This is one of my favorite stories, no questions asked. I've already rec'd another of her stories, **_**A Rough Start**_**, but this one is the first one I read by her, and it's amazing. There's just no other way to describe it. I love this story…so much. :)**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5003930/1/The_Tutor**

**There you go chickies! I hope you liked it and I hope you enjoy the rec's. They are amazing – I wouldn't rec them if they weren't. :D**

**Hit the button and show me some love. I really should have been in bed an hour ago. Oh, the things I do for you… :)**


	7. Chapter 7 Unfinished Sympathy

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do have is lots of rain falling around my house over the last few days. Though due to where I live, I think SM is probably getting the same storm clouds I am. Man, life's not fair…**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**I love mustard and you, my dear, "make me want a hot dog real bad." :)**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** I love you girls more than may be legally allowed. :)**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this and for telling me what doesn't make sense and what spelling mistakes my Word failed to catch. I love you both for that! :)**

**I hope you like this. Edward is finally starting to pick up on some of the things he missed out on and just because I wanted to, I kept the chapter going until a certain couple finally gets to talk, face to face. I kinda love it…**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Chapter 7

_I know that I've been mad in love before  
__And how it could be with you  
__Really hurt me baby, really cut me baby  
__How can you have a day without a night  
__You're the book that I have opened  
__And now I've got to know much more  
__Like a soul without a mind  
__In a body without a heart  
__I'm missing every part_

"Unfinished Sympathy" by Massive Attack

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After leaving the airport, I was in no real hurry to get back to Forks. Bella had said she would try and call so that I could see her that night, but I knew after a long day of traveling and chasing our son, she would most likely be too tired to want to do anything. By the time I reached my house, I had talked myself out of seeing her before the rehearsal dinner the next night, though the hope that she would call was still very much alive.

Walking into the house, I was greeted by the smells of whatever my mother was baking. She had done a lot of baking over the past week; it was her way of coping with the stress she was feeling over the whole Bella and E.C. situation. Alice stayed away as much as possible, and as long as I kept to myself, I had a feeling we would be able to avoid any more arguments. Emmett and Rosalie were due to arrive at any time and I was excited to see my brother, even though he had already warned us all about Rose and her pregnancy hormones. Apparently, she was driving him up the wall. I loved my sister-in-law but she could get a little whiny at times and I was thankful that I wasn't living in Seattle anymore, where I felt obligated to go over for Sunday dinners with them.

I clicked my phone onto vibrate and stuck it in my front pants pocket, hoping to catch it as soon as Bella called, _if _she called. I hurried up to my room, deciding to go for a quick run. After changing my clothes and grabbing my iPod, I was out the door and down the street, lost in the music flowing through my earbuds. My thoughts wandered as the songs changed and it wasn't until I ended up at the park that I stopped. There was a playground filled with kids, their moms sitting nearby and carefully watching them. I sat down on a bench and listened to the music as I dreamed of one day bringing my son to this park, of watching him play with all the other children.

After about twenty minutes, a tiny blonde girl—maybe a year or two old—toddled near me, falling in the sand and dropping the toy she had been sucking on. As she stood up, she lifted the sand covered toy and moved to put it back into her mouth. I jumped up and took a few steps toward her, reaching her as she tasted the sand. She quickly started spitting the dirt out of her mouth and I pulled the toy away. Looking at me with wide, trusting eyes, she reached for me, and I assumed she wanted me to pick her up. I didn't know who she was and figured her mother probably wouldn't appreciate a strange, sweaty man carrying her around.

I wiped her toy off with my shorts and held it back out to her. "Here you go honey, don't put that back in your mouth, it's dirty. Go take it to your mom, okay?" Her chubby little fingers wrapped around the toy and she laughed, a huge smile spreading across her face. I knelt down when she also reached for my other hand, refusing to let go. She was a beautiful little girl with snow white hair in curly pony tails, bright ice blue eyes, and rosy cheeks. She continued smiling at me, and if I hadn't known better I would have sworn she was batting her eyelashes at me; flirting with me. Laughing at her display, I noticed movement from the corner of my eye; her mother was making a bee line toward us.

"Micah? What are you doing over here? Mommy told you to stay by the toys." The voice seemed familiar but I couldn't place it until the woman was standing next to me, her hands on her hips. "Edward Cullen? Is that you?" she said in disbelief. I looked up to see her face and cringed.

"Tanya Denali. How are you?" I slowly stood, not excited about seeing the girl that had singlehandedly tried to make Bella's year in Forks misery; the girl that I had spent way too many occasions buried inside of, listening to her moan my name. She was still beautiful; the outer shell hiding the ugliness I knew was on the inside. As I looked back at her daughter, I saw the similarities and hoped that somehow this sweet little girl wouldn't end up the same way her mother had.

"Well Edward, it's been a long time, huh? You back in town for Alice's wedding or are you planning to stay around a little longer?" She reached out, running her manicured fingernails up my arm, settling them on my bicep. She smiled and I fought the urge to throw up.

"Yeah, I'm back for Alice's wedding before I leave for medical school. You live here still?" I asked, not really wanting to know, but not wanting to be rude. Before Bella came along, Tanya had been my favorite of the regulars, always a sure thing and always a good time. She laughed, running the hand that wasn't attached to my arm through her long, blonde hair.

"Yeah, I live here. I'm married, I'm sure you heard." I shook my head, having not known. "Yeah, Michael Newton, you remember him? We got married last year, right after Micah was born. He's managing his dad's store now; he'll be the regional manager before long." I got the feeling she was trying to impress me, but it wasn't working.

"Wow Tanya, that's great. I'm glad to see you're doing so well. So this is your daughter huh? She's cute, looks like her dad."

Tanya blanched at that, the smile dropping from her face. She let out a gust of breath. "Well, that's the first time I've heard that," she said with disbelief thick in her voice. I grinned internally, happy to have thrown her off a bit.

Micah began to walk back towards the playground equipment, and I wrongfully assumed that Tanya would follow her. Instead she edged closer to me, leaning her face towards mine. "You know, Mike works a lot now days and he probably wouldn't mind if I had dinner with an old friend, spent the night catching up," she quietly purred to me. Her mouth came closer to my ear and I could feel her breath on my neck. "I've missed seeing you, Edward. I remember how much fun we used to have, I can't help imagining all the things I used to do to you. I made you happy, Edward. I could make you very happy again, if you let me."

I stood silently as she made her plea, unsure of exactly how to proceed. I knew I didn't want to lead her on, and I didn't want her to get the idea that I was in any way interested, but as she began to rub her breasts against my chest, I felt sorry for her. I looked down into her eyes and knew that this would be the last time I would ever allow her to be this close to me. I took hold of her hand that was still wrapped around my bicep and pulled it free, pushing it back towards her.

"Tanya... thanks for the offer, it's really nice of you to want to catch up with me, but I'm pretty busy this week, and I'm leaving soon and I won't be back, so I think its best if we just say goodbye now and you go back to your daughter. Sounds like you and Mike have a nice life together; I think you should enjoy that."

Her perfect lips pursed into a pout and she stomped her foot, showing her obvious annoyance at my refusal. As she squared her shoulders she raised her head in defiance, "You'll be sorry Edward. You know what you're missing out on." With that she turned quickly and skulked back towards her daughter. Shaking my head at her immature display, I quickly pushed my ear buds back in and turned my music up as I headed towards the parking lot and the road that would lead me home. It was then that I realized I had left my cell phone sitting on my dresser, meaning that if Bella called, I would have missed it. I pushed my body hard, getting home faster than I ever had before. Hurrying to my room, I grabbed the phone that lay on the dresser.

There had been no calls.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Laying on my bed, tossing a football into the air, my heart was saddened by the fact that it was after nine o'clock at night and there was still no call from Bella. I had been an idiot to expect anything from her, but that didn't stop me from wanting it. My room was dark, except for the light shining out of the half open bathroom door, so when headlights flickered through my windows and I heard tires pulling into the driveway, I jumped up, anxious to see who it was. I recognized the black car immediately and smiled as I saw Emmett climb out of it, hurrying over to the passenger side to open the door. I dropped the football in my hands and hurried downstairs.

My father was already at the car unloading luggage, so I quickly ran over to assist him, hoping to enable Emmett to take Rose inside the house and get her comfortable. She was really a beautiful woman, but pregnancy had not been kind to her. With all the trouble she'd endured, I was a little surprised at how good she really looked. Emmett catered to her every need and I heard him reassure her that he would get her things brought in so that she could rest. I laughed at the display, wondering if I would have reacted the same way when Bella was pregnant. My heart skipped, wondering what Bella looked like at seven months pregnant. I wished I could have seen her. I was certain she would have had that glow everyone talks about. She would have been even more breathtaking than she already was.

After bringing the bags inside the house and then to the downstairs guest bedroom, I lurked around the living room doorway, hoping to catch Emmett as he walked past. Rose was seated on the sofa with pillows propping up her legs and a blanket stretched across her. As I cautiously shifted from one foot to the other, Rosalie spotted me.

"Edward! Come here and see me, I've missed you."

I laughed a little as I gave in and entered the room. "Rose, you just saw me last month, what are you talking about 'you miss me'?"

"Oh Eddie, you know I like seeing you as much as I can, that's all. Plus I wanna catch up. How is everything? Did you get it all figured out with school?" She smiled at me, but I could see it didn't reach her eyes. She sighed and lulled her head back onto the sofa, looking tired; her skin a little more pale than it normally was. She was still easily one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in real life and I wondered how the 'pregnancy glow' I'd heard so much about could possibly improve upon near perfection.

I sat down on the loveseat next to Rose and began to tell her about Miami and how great the school was. I elected to leave out the part about seeing Bella and learning I was a father. She had met Bella a few times when we were in high school, but Rosalie was always so busy with things that she never really paid attention to my life or Bella's, we were just high school kids to her. I didn't mind; I had felt the same way when I was in her shoes, listening to Alice talk about her friends. Though in that case, I usually lost interest once I knew there would be no mention of Bella.

After talking for a few minutes, Emmett came bustling into the room carrying a tray filled with freshly baked cookies, two large glasses of milk, a bottle of water and a jar of green olives.

"Hey Edward. There you are. Sorry I didn't get a chance to see you yet, had to get my woman all settled in." His mouth turned up into a huge smile, he was still so proud of Rosalie and the fact that somehow he had managed to convince her to marry him. Smiling, I scooted off the loveseat and into a chair so that he could sit down next to her.

"Oh thanks Em, I'm _your woman_ now, huh?" Rosalie laughed at him as he set the tray down and slowly backed away, sitting next to her. It reminded me of watching a zookeeper feed the lions—never turning their backs on them out of fear that the lions would attack because of their hunger. I wasn't far off my assessment as Rose quickly grabbed the plate of cookies and dug in.

Emmett watched her for a few moments before letting out a long breath. "Finally, do you know how good it feels that she eats almost as much as I do now?" he joked. Rose looked up at him, raising an eyebrow and grunting before leaning over to pick up a glass of milk.

"So how are you doing with the pre-fatherhood stuff? You all ready for the big day, Em?" I asked.

"Yeah man, I'm so excited! I painted the nursery last week and got the crib all put together. Rose's mom found the cutest little pink ruffled crib stuff," he turned to Rosalie, "What's that thing called again? The thing that goes around the bars?"

"A bumper pad."

"Yeah, a bumper pad, that's it. It's cute, all pink and girlie. I can't wait!"

Emmett was so excited about the little girl they were expecting. I had never thought I would see him, this big manly guy, excited about dolls, butterflies and frilly clothes, but he was. It made me wonder what I would have been like if Bella had stayed, if I could have set up a nursery for our son. Watching Emmett with Rosalie caused a lot of regrets to stir in me, things that I wished for and was just beginning to realize that I actually wanted. Up until seeing them together, I never fully comprehended exactly what I had missed out on. It wasn't just E.C. as a baby and growing up; it was all the time I should have spent with Bella before he was born. I hoped that I would have been as attentive as Emmett was, but unfortunately I would never know.

Rosalie soon grabbed at the jar of green olives and started eating them slowly, letting out little moans with each one. Feeling a little uncomfortable at the display in front of me, I shifted in my chair, looking to Emmett. His eyes were glued to her and I could tell that her sounds were causing a completely different type of reaction in him. I cleared my throat and stood.

"I think I'll leave you two alone with your tray of goodies there," I said with a snicker, walking out of the room as Rosalie blushed, realizing what she had done.

Walking into the foyer, I reached into my pocket and took out my cell phone—still no calls. With a huff, I sat on the stairs and turned the phone over and over in my fingers. I heard Emmett walking across the room and soon he was sitting next to me, leaning back onto the stairs.

"So, what's going on with you? How's the school thing coming?" he asked.

I sat back, setting the phone down beside me. "It's good. Miami was nice, I sent in my acceptance thing so I'm all set to start next month. Dad's got someone looking at condos so I'll have somewhere to live. You know him, 'Real estate is a good investment, son." We both laughed at my imitation of our father.

"That's great, I'm glad you're excited about it. Aren't you worried about being so far away from family though? I mean wow, you won't know anyone there."

I paused for a moment before closing my eyes. "I'll know Bella."

I could feel Emmett shift next to me, sitting straight up. "What?"

Letting out a long breath, I nodded and opened my eyes, looking at the floor as I continued. "Yeah, Bella lives there. I saw her address on a wedding invitation so I went to her house while I was there."

Emmett let out a long, low whistle. "So how did that go?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't actually talk to her, but I saw her. I've talked to her since then, she's coming for the wedding."

"So, you gonna see her?" he asked. Emmett knew how in love I had been with Bella and he also knew how heartbroken I was when she left. He was front and center for many of my early interactions with random girls, but since he never liked or approved of it, he soon left me on my own and focused on Rosalie.

"Yeah, she got in today and was supposed to call me, but I haven't heard anything yet."

He looked at me for a moment, "So call her. She's here; she knows you want to see her…call her."

I sat silent for a moment. "I wish it was that easy," I said in a whisper.

Emmett looked at me, confusion clear on his face. "Why can't you call her? Is she seeing someone else or did she tell you to stay away or something?"

"No, it's just really complicated and I'm afraid of pushing her away. I mean, she said that she still loves me and I told her the same, but there are other things going on, I'm really worried about it."

Emmett nodded, clasping his hands together in front of him. "Okay, I was gonna wait to ask this, but what's going on in this house? Mom and Dad are acting weird, you're all emo and wacked out, and Alice isn't even here. I can feel this like…tension in the air, what's the deal? And don't lie to me; you know I'll know if you do."

I hung my head, letting it fall into my open hands. "Oh man, I don't really know how to say this so I'm just gonna come right out with it. You remember when Bella left here?"

He nodded, "Uh huh."

"Well, it wasn't because she didn't love me. She left because she wanted me to be happy; she wanted me to have a future."

"Okay," he said, "I get that, but weren't you two planning to get married and stuff? Did she think you couldn't have a future together or something?"

My words came out in a low hush, my voice cracking. "Bella was pregnant, we have a son." There was silence as Emmett sat with his mouth agape, staring at me in complete shock. My fingers pulled at my hair and I let out a loud breath. "I let her go, man. I didn't chase her because she asked me not to. All that time I thought she just didn't love me, and now to find out she did it all because she _did_ love me…it's almost too much." I shook my head, still appalled at the fact that I hadn't gone after her, that I'd never even tried to find her. "And seeing her on that beach with our son, not knowing at the time that he was mine…it gutted me, man. I thought she was married, I thought she'd moved on, but she didn't. She was raising our child and I never even knew."

Emmett sat stunned next to me; I could feel his eyes burning a hole into my side. "Whoa…"

I swallowed and nodded in agreement. "Whoa is right. This is pretty messed up, huh?"

"Yeah, I'd say messed up doesn't even begin to cover it."

"Yep, so that's what's going on. That's why I can't call her. That's why Mom and Dad are freaked out. That's why Alice and Jasper haven't been around for weeks."

Emmett shifted, turning to face me. "What do you mean that's why Alice hasn't been around? What does she have to do with it?" he asked. I shifted slightly to look at him, the confusion clear on his face, as his eyes stared back to mine. He was curious about Alice's absence and I hated having to be the one to tell him what she'd done to me and subsequently to our family.

"Well, she knew about it the whole time. Bella told her before she left and she begged Alice not to tell me or anyone else. Alice said that at first she was just trying to help Bella, be her friend, but then after I got all messed up and stuff, she was mad at me. She said that the baby deserved someone better than me for his father."

"Alice said that? To you?" he asked as his voice elevated. He let out a loud huff, almost a growl, and I couldn't remember ever having seen him get so angry and frustrated that quickly. He normally took a long time to get worked up over things, but apparently his baby sister betraying the people she claimed to love was one of those things to draw out his fury.

"Yep, and the really bad part is that I can't even disagree with her because it's true." I sighed, knowing in my heart that I wasn't a good role model for E.C., but another part of me strengthened at the same time, resolving that someday I would be.

"So have you met the kid? Do you know his name?"

"She named him Edward Charlie, she calls him E.C. I saw him on the beach that day and I've seen pictures of him. He looks like me, but he has Bella's eyes. I talked to Charlie, he explained a lot and that helped. He was actually the one that convinced Bella to come for the wedding. I called her and asked, but I think it was more to do with Charlie than me."

Emmett started to laugh. "So did he come at you with a shot gun? Demand that you marry his daughter; make an honest woman of her?"

I laughed the first real, honest laugh I'd had in weeks. "No," I said, shaking my head. "He was actually really cool about everything. He told me that he and Bella's mom had been in a really similar situation so he understood. I told him that I still love her, that I want her back, so we'll see what happens."

Emmett quickly stood up, walking away from the stairs and pacing back and forth in front of me. "Crap," he whispered.

"What?" I asked, curious about his sudden change in demeanor.

"I thought I was gonna have the first Cullen grandkid, now I find out my little brother beat me to the punch like four years ago. It's just lucky for you he's a boy. Rose would be upset to know that she wasn't spawning the first Cullen granddaughter." He laughed loudly and soon Rosalie was yelling from the other room.

"What are you boys doing in there? Emmett, come in here so I can hear you. You know I'm stuck in here, come on baby, please?" she whined. "I'm missing out on all the fun!"

Emmett looked at me and we both burst into laughter. After a few moments he called back to her, "Alright babe, hang on, we'll be there in second."

He stepped closer to me. "Call her, Edward. That's your son and your woman; call her."

I looked at him for a moment, grateful for the sincerity in his expression. "Thanks Em, I will."

Just as I reached to pick up the phone, I heard and felt it start to buzz. My eyes flashed back to Emmett's, and his face broke out in a huge smile. "Go get her, Tiger," he said and then turned to go back to a waiting Rosalie.

I let out a quick breath before answering the call.

"Hello?"

There was a slight pause before I heard her. "Hi, Edward? It's Bella."

A feeling of peace came over me and I smiled and sighed, "Hey. I was starting to think you were gonna ditch me."

"Oh no, I'm sorry," she quickly said. "It's just been a really long day, you know? The flight was long and stuff. I'm just exhausted tonight, but I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

Immediately I felt bad for having pressured her before. "No, it's okay. I didn't think about the long flight and all, I shouldn't have bugged you about hanging out tonight. It's my fault."

"It's okay, I do want to see you, but maybe we could wait until tomorrow. It's kind of late now. My dad wanted to stop for dinner after he picked us up and then we did a little shopping before we headed back to his house. I forgot a couple of things, plus we just really needed to stretch our legs, it was a long time of sitting in an airplane today," she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I remember."

There was silence between us and I wondered about what to say to her next.

"So, the rehearsal dinner is tomorrow night at six, right?" she asked.

I cleared my throat, "Yeah, at the church. I think we're meeting there for the wedding stuff and then going across the street to eat, it's that little Mexican place. You remember that place, right?"

"Um, yeah I remember it," she said softly, her voice sounding a million miles away. I remembered it too—it was the restaurant I had taken her to for Valentine's Day, the night she first let me make love to her.

"Do you need a ride or anything? I could pick you up if you want."

She spoke quickly, "Oh no, I'll either use my dad's truck or else he can drop me off, no biggie."

"Alright. Well, I'd offer to take you to lunch or something tomorrow but I've got wedding stuff going all day. Final tux fittings and picking up family from the airport, all that kind of crap."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm gonna be busy around here. My dad's girlfriend Sue is going to be here with her kids so I think they have something planned, but I'll see you at the rehearsal, right?" she asked.

"Of course you will," I answered. "I can't wait to see you."

"Me either. We really need to talk, Edward. I don't know if we can do it before the wedding, but maybe next week, if we can just get through the next few days, I think it would be good. There is a lot that I need to tell you." Her voice was quiet and I ached for her to just say the things I already knew, but I would wait for her to do it in her own time.

"Okay, I can wait," I told her. "Get some sleep, alright? I'll see you tomorrow."

She sighed, "Okay, good night Edward and thank you for everything."

I smiled, "You're welcome. You're always welcome."

Hearing the click on the line, I ended the call. Relaxing my muscles that had been tense all day, I stood and slowly made my way into the living room. I paused at the sight before me. Rosalie sat on the loveseat with Emmett at her side. He was leaning over, his ear pressed to her stomach and his hand rubbing slow circles over her belly. Rose sat looking at him with eyes full of love as she ran her fingers through his short, dark hair. She hummed in contentment as a wave of regret washed over me. In my mind, I could see Bella sitting on the same loveseat as I lay my head against our unborn son, her hands woven into my hair. My heart ached at the thought of never getting to experience that vision.

I walked into the room, smiling at Emmett and Rosalie, relieved when they both smiled back. The one ray of hope for me was the last image before the vision disappeared—E.C. sitting on Bella's other side, mimicking my actions as he sang to his unborn little brother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day was hectic with not even a few free moments for me to stew over not seeing Bella. That didn't mean she wasn't on my mind all day, though. Our upcoming reunion weighed heavily on me and I rehearsed over and over the words I planned to say to her. As I drove my Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Tony to their hotel, their teenaged daughters, Heidi and Gianna, sat in the backseat giggling, whispering back and forth to each other. I hadn't seen them in several years and every time I would turn around to look at one of them or glance up to the rear view mirror, they would burst out into fits of laughter. I shook off their behavior, it not being the first time I'd ever encountered something like that, and tried to focus on whatever topic it was that Tony was rambling on about. After dropping them off, I hurried home and made a beeline for the bottle of Excedrin in the medicine cabinet. I couldn't have the headache they had given me ruining my night.

Alice was busy barking orders to everyone as we got ready for the rehearsal. I hadn't seen her much in the past few days and I could already feel my anger towards her subsiding a bit. I imagined that with more time away from each other, we wouldn't have any problem repairing our relationship because I knew that most of what we'd said had been out of anger and the pressure we were all under.

After taking quite a while deciding on what clothes to wear, I headed to the living room to wait until everyone else was ready to go. Emmett and Jasper were already there, in mid-discussion about the pros and cons of the new gaming system Emmett had bought.

"Yeah, and this game I got has all these like resort kinda sports, it's so cool!" Emmett said.

Jasper laughed, shaking his head. "What's it got that's so great?"

"Dude, there's archery. Seriously, Wii archery, man, you're gonna love it!" Jasper looked to me and smiled as I sank down into the sofa, laughing at Emmett's enthusiasm. They continued talking about the different sport games Emmett had tried until finally Rosalie came into the room.

"Babe, I need you to buckle these shoes for me, I can't see them," she said as she walked over to Emmett. She looked amazing, but as I watched her walk across the room I realized she really couldn't see her feet due to her protruding stomach. She was seven months pregnant and looked as though she could give birth any day. I couldn't imagine how much bigger their baby could get in two more months time, but I was glad I wouldn't be in the delivery room with her when the delivery happened. To be honest, I was glad I wouldn't even be in the state when the baby was born. I had a feeling if it didn't split her in two on its way out, Rosalie would split Emmett in two because of all the pain she'd have to endure during the birth.

My mother and Alice came rushing into the room, ushering us all outside, saying that we'd be late if we didn't leave soon. Butterflies started to flutter in my stomach as I remembered how soon I would be seeing Bella. I was excited, but also extremely nervous. I hurried to my car, telling everyone that I would meet them there. Taking the long route, I drove past Bella's fathers' house just to see if his truck was outside. I let out a sigh as I drove by, noticing that the truck was gone. I knew that Bella would be at the church and suddenly my car couldn't get me there fast enough.

There were several cars in the parking lot when I arrived. My family was all walking into the building and I quickly caught up with them. The reverend was waiting inside, along with his wife, and they began placing people into their positions, going over the schedule so that we all knew how things would happen during the ceremony.

After escorting Jasper's mother and my mother to their seats, Emmett and I stood beside Jasper, waiting for whatever was supposed to happen next. There seemed to be a delay of some sort and we quickly began to tease Jasper that Alice had finally come to her senses and was backing out. Emmett said that at least she'd done it now, in front of just family, rather than on Saturday, in front of an entire congregation full of people. We laughed but I could see worry start to creep into Jasper's expression. I patted his shoulder reassuringly and told him softly that we were just kidding; we knew Alice would never be able to stay away from him. He nodded and straightened up just as we watched the double doors at the back of the room open.

Turning to focus on the doors, I saw Rosalie enter and begin walking down the aisle. She looked lovely and Emmett grinned at her, making crude gestures that had my mother shaking her head in embarrassment. Rose just laughed, no doubt knowing he was capable of much worse. When I saw movement again in the doorway, I turned to see who was there and my heart stopped. _Bella._

She was looking down at the floor, walking slowly and not raising her eyes to look at anyone. When I was finally able to tear my eyes away from her, I looked at my mother who sat frozen in her seat. Her bottom lip was shaking and I could see her eyes filling with tears. Emmett and Jasper were still, I couldn't even hear them breathing. I looked back to her and she raised her head, her eyes soon meeting mine. Her step faltered and she quickly dropped her gaze back to the floor.

Swallowing the large lump that had formed in my throat, I turned to look at the doorway again as Alice and my father entered it. They proceeded to walk to the end of the aisle where my father solemnly passed Alice's hand to Jasper, then went to sit with my mother. I watched as both of them stared at Bella, her back to them. My father took hold of my mothers hand as she dabbed at her eyes with the other, soaking up the tears with a tissue before they could fall.

The reverend discussed a bit of what would happen during the ceremony and when he was done, Jasper and Alice led the way down the aisle to the back of the room. I stood still in my spot, not registering the fact that it was my turn to move. Finally stepping forward, I raised my arm and was shocked at the sudden jolt that flowed through my body when Bella placed her hand on my elbow.

Her sweet smell overwhelmed me and suddenly I was seventeen again, my arms wrapped around her in the backseat of my car. It took all of the self control I had to not grab her hand and run out of the room with her, but somehow I managed to walk at a steady pace, keeping her at my side. When we reached the lobby, just outside of the chapel, Alice quickly grabbed Bella's free hand and dragged her away from me, into a small room off to the side. Rosalie followed them, as did my mother, when they too emerged from the chapel. I was in shock; she had been right there and I hadn't even gotten to say hello to her. I looked at my father, silently questioning what was happening.

"The girls have to go over a few things as far as how and where they're getting ready on Saturday. I told your mother that we would go on over to the restaurant, get things set up there," my father said.

We walked out of the church, my heart beating rapidly at the thought of her leaving, running away, before I could even talk to her. The restaurant was busy with the dinner crowd, and I was grateful when they seated us in a private banquet room. We all took seats and soon more family and friends began filing in. Everyone was talking and laughing, catching up with one another. I saw Alice walk by and then my mother seated next to my father, but I couldn't see Bella anywhere. There were a lot of people around me, many of them asking about football or medical school, and it seemed like I talked nonstop until the waiters began bringing our dinner plates in.

Sitting down at the closest table, I was rather disappointed to find myself stuck next to my Uncle Tony and my cousins, who were still giggling, only now they seemed to have added Emmett and Jasper to their crush list that had previously only consisted of me. After eating all of my meal, I spent the rest of the time snacking on chips and salsa, hoping to avoid having to answer any more questions. When I'd finally had enough, I excused myself and made my way towards the doorway leading to the outside patio. I needed some time to clear my head and reconsider my approach toward Bella.

I noticed Rosalie sitting at a table next to Bella, the two of them talking rather easily to each other. I paused just out of their line of vision, straining to hear what they were discussing. It was Rose's voice that I heard first.

"Yeah, I begged Alice to wait until the baby was born to have the wedding, but she just wouldn't budge. She said it had to be in the summer, but oh, how I wish she had waited."

"I can understand that. I can imagine how uncomfortable you'll be this weekend, with all the standing around and stuff. I'm sure it's not easy being so far along in your pregnancy," Bella sweetly replied. If only Rosalie knew how familiar this topic was with Bella. Wait, did she know? Would Emmett have told her? My mind raced, remembering that I hadn't asked him to keep our conversation to himself.

"Oh no, I don't mind all of that. The only thing I feel really badly about is the pictures," Rosalie said.

Bella hesitated for a moment, "What do you mean the pictures? You don't want to be pregnant in the wedding pictures?"

"No, it's not that. I don't mind being pregnant in them, I just wish that the baby could have been in them. I mean, she's part of the family and she won't even be in the pictures."

_The baby being in the pictures?_ I hadn't thought about that. My mind wandered farther…should E.C. be in the pictures? He was family, he would hopefully soon be a big part of the family—should he be in them too? And further more, what about Bella? I wanted her to be my family, and she was E.C.'s mother; should she be in them as well?

Rosalie's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "It's a family picture, it should have all of the family in it, don't you think?"

Bella's voice sounded unsure when she answered. "Well, I guess so, I don't know."

As Rosalie started onto another topic I quickly let myself outside, taking a chair in the corner of the patio. I leaned back into it, letting my head lull back and stare up at the stars. This was not how I had intended for my night to go. Bella had been within a hundred feet of me for hours, and I hadn't said one word to her. Sadly, the way things were looking, that fact wouldn't soon change. It was getting late and I knew she would want to be getting back to Charlie's house for E.C. I couldn't imagine that she was too anxious to spend any more time with my family, and she obviously wasn't excited to see me. Defeat weighed down on me and I let out a long, labored sigh. She didn't want me; I could feel it.

Just as I was about to get up and walk to my car, the door opened and I heard shoes clicking on the pavement. I lifted my head to see who it was and I gasped when I saw Bella walking across the patio to the railing that bordered it. She leaned down, putting her arms on it and dropping her head into her hands. I watched her as her body shook slightly, hearing muffled cries come from her. I fought the urge to go to her, to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but as I slowly sat up in my seat I heard her speak softly to herself.

"He doesn't want me. He didn't even say anything to me. He just left, after everything he said on the phone, he changed his mind. I was so stupid. I can't believe I came here, why did he want me to come here? What am I going to do?" she said in whispered sobs, my heart breaking as I watched her from my chair.

"We aren't that bad, are we?" I asked softly.

She whirled around, gasping and clutching her hands to her throat. I stood and walked toward her, my hands pushed into my pockets. I could see the tears running down her cheeks and I stepped close enough to her that I could reach out and wipe them away with my thumbs.

"Please don't cry, you're so much more beautiful when you're happy," I said.

She quietly said, "I didn't know you were out here, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not." I stood looking into her eyes, wishing I knew what to say to her but no words came.

She looked at me for a long while before finally speaking. "I should go, my dad's gonna pick me up, I need to go call him."

"I'll take you home, if you want," I said. She stood staring at me as I stared back.

"I don't know, he said to just call him and he'd come back."

"So call him and tell him I'm bringing you home." I pulled my phone from my pocket, offering it to her. She looked at it before raising her hand and taking it, our fingers touching and lingering together for a few moments.

"Tell him I'll take you home later, and then come for a walk with me. There's somewhere I want I take you. Please, Bella?"

She eyes burned into mine and she nodded slowly, "Okay."

I smiled at her as she finally smiled back. The pieces of my world shifted and slowly fell into place. The only thing that worried me was that those pieces felt like they were made of the most fragile glass and I had a horrible feeling that this glass could shatter with the smallest of movements.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: So, was it everything you dreamed it would be? :D Tanya got nosy again, wedging herself back into the story, and of course Emmett was his goofy self, and I couldn't ignore him. I like that Edward is starting to realize all the things he's missed when it comes to E.C. and Bella. Next chapter is going to have 'The Talk' so I hope you're ready for it.**

**Sorry this one took a little longer. Uberbeta is a busy woman! Also, I posted some fun things on a new thread, find it on my author page – Beegurl13's Random Musings. It's some fun odds and ends you might enjoy. Maybe a little lemony goodness…in public…with a famous actor… I'm just saying. :)**

**Okay, Rec's because I can…**

_**Bedroom Confessions**_** by JandMsMommy. ~Edward was investigating the perfect murder. Part of his job was to protect the only witness's identity from the murderer. But can he control his feelings for her, and can he handle the secrets she hides?~**

**I love this story. ****Edward is dedicated and torn between what's right and what he wants. Bella has a shady past and I still feel like she's not telling us something. It's good. If you like a little suspense, you'll love this. Plus my friend Andy writes it. I love her. :)**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5651876/1/Bedroom_Confessions**

_**Maybe I'm Falling For You**_** by coldplaywhore and Flightlessbird11. ~Edward and Bella meet one cloudy May morning at their neighborhood coffee bar. Little do they know that they have actually been conversing for several months under assumed names.~**

**I love this story too. Of couse it's by my uberbeta coldplaywhore, so you know it's good. Edward and Bella are both so afraid of commitment, yet are totally falling for each other. If you love the movie 'You've Got Mail,' or music from The Beatles, then you will love this story.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5343966/1/Maybe_Im_Falling_For_You**

**And something complete…**

_**Fourteen**_** by crismonmarie. ~High school is brutal. It's even worse when you're not a size two. Worse than that? Having a major crush on the biggest, hottest jerk in high school. Even worse than that? Being paired up with him for a science project.~**

**What can I say about this story…it's incredible. The writing is so honest and real, it's beautiful. Edward is so, just, disconnected from things, yet he tries so hard to make up for everything once he realizes it. Bella is such a cynic, so unable to trust and forgive, though she wants to believe the good things she's seeing. It's a wonderful story about acceptance and love, set amidst a coming of age tale. It's really one of the most powerful stories I've read in fan fiction. If you haven't read it, RUN and do so!! You won't be sorry… :)**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5475912/1/Fourteen**

**As always, remove the ()'s around the dots. :D**

**Remember, there is a thread for this over at Twilighted. It's fun, and we don't bite. :) I'm also on Twitter and we have WAY too much fun there. It's a good time, you'll love it! :D **

**Need more rec's? Check out the blog I'm helping with. I'll add a link to it in my profile too, just incase. I won't tell you what character I'm playing, but I don't think it will be too hard to guess…a lot of the things about her come straight from my real life! :D**

**http://picffcorner().()blogspot().()com/?zx=3dbca8202594c006**

**Thanks for reading this! Let me know what you thought. Did you like Emmett and Rosalie? Was Tanya h00rish enough for you? What do you think Bella will say to Edward on that walk? Tell me what you think!! I can't wait to see…**


	8. Chapter 8 Halo

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is the 3-disc version of **_**New Moon**_** that came with a film cell of Edward during the break up scene. The only thing better than that would have been shirtless Edward in Italy or parking lot strut Edward, and both of those should really be classified as porn, and we all know Target doesn't sell that. :)**

**New in BeeWorld…this little story now has over 200 reviews! I'm kind of still in shock. :D And the 200****th**** was someone I'm a huge fan of—Lambcullen—so I'm even more in shock. :D And in other news…I got to hang out with twistedcoincidence while she was here in town. She was incredible to talk to and so much fun! Goodness, I wish I could meet all of you. Don't be shy…if you're ever anywhere near me, let me know!!! It's a good time waiting to be had by all. Oh, and you should read the stories by these lovely ladies. Some of the best around.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She loves to show off in her betaing comments. I love it, and I wouldn't trade those comments for anything.**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** Thanks for listening to me cry and for telling me that I deserve better.**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. You always see things in a way I hadn't even thought of. You really are the best prereaders ever! **

**So here's "The Talk." I hope you like it…**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 8 – Halo

_I always said that I would make mistakes  
__I'm only human and that's my saving grace  
__I'll fall as hard as I try  
__So don't be blinded  
__See me as I really am  
__I have flaws and sometimes I even sin  
__So pull me from that pedestal  
__I don't belong there _

_One thing is clear  
__I wear a halo  
__I wear a halo when you look at me  
__But standing from here  
__You wouldn't say so  
__You wouldn't say so if you were me  
__And I, I just want to love you  
__Oh I, I just want to love you _

_Like to think that you know me  
__But in your eyes  
__I am something above me  
__That's only in your mind  
__Only in your mind _

"Halo" by Bethany Joy Lenz

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bella spoke with Charlie for a few minutes before finally handing my phone back to me. I had really tried not to eavesdrop on her conversation by pacing around the patio while she talked, but a few times her voice lowered to a whisper and I guessed that she was asking about E.C. When I didn't hear her talking anymore I looked toward her, seeing her step closer to me.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yes, everything is fine. He said no problem about you bringing me home, but I don't want to be too late. I didn't bring keys with me and I'd hate to make him wait up late for me."

I grinned, knowing that Charlie would stay up all night if he had to, especially now that he knew Bella was with me. He may have hoped that Bella and I could work things out, but when you boiled it all down, I was still the 17 year old boy who slept with his daughter and fathered his grandson. No dad in their right mind would trust us together again.

"So, what did you want to show me?" she asked with a timid voice.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I just wanted to take you somewhere, it's not far and we can walk. Is that okay? Do you need to get anything from inside? A coat or purse or anything?"

"No, I didn't bring anything other than my clutch and I have it here, so I'm good."

There was an exit off to the side of the patio and I gestured toward it, waiting for her to walk in front of me. I fought the urge to place my hand on her lower back and guide her through it, knowing that I couldn't jump into things too quickly. We needed time to reconnect and I was going to make sure we got it, no matter how difficult it was for me to fight off my physical urges to touch her, hold her and kiss her; to just be with her. I knew the emotional connection was so much more important than the physical, so I held off my instincts for the moment, hoping that soon enough I would be able to do all the things I had been dreaming of doing with her.

As we reached the end of the parking lot, no words having been spoken between us, Bella looked questioningly at me, silently asking where we were going.

"Here, this way," I told her as I pointed to the sidewalk on the right side of the lot. I stepped to the outside of it, trying to do the gentlemanly thing and show her my good manners. I knew it was insane, but I wanted every little detail about this to be perfect for her. We walked along the dark sidewalk that lined the quiet street for a bit before she finally spoke.

"So Alice seems excited about the wedding. How is Jasper doing?"

I laughed a little, "Yeah, excited doesn't seem like enough to describe the way Alice feels about this. I think obsessed might be better. Poor Jasper. You've seen that bridezilla show on television, right? I think she'd fit perfectly on that."

We both laughed at the thought of Alice's behavior.

"Yeah, she pretty much told me my allotted amount of time for getting ready on Saturday. I offered to just do my hair and makeup at my dad's before coming to the church, but she wants to _watch_ me do them. I guess it's so I meet her standards or something? I don't know, she's crazy but it's her day, so whatever." She softly laughed, stirring up old memories of other times she'd made that same laugh. Images flashed through my mind: Bella laughing when I caught her dancing to N'SYNC in her bedroom; Bella laughing as I told her knock-knock jokes; Bella laughing as we fought over control of the radio in my car; Bella laughing as I ran my hands up and down her naked chest and back.

Our small talk about the wedding continued and it flowed easier than I could have imagined it would. As we approached the park, I pointed her towards the playground I had visited the day before, and I couldn't help but notice how different it looked in the dark. We walked to a nearby bench and we both sat down, looking out across the toys and grassy fields.

"I came here yesterday. I was out running and just ended up here. I don't know why, but I did." I paused for a moment, looking across the playground at the swings that hung silently in the night air. "There were kids everywhere, their moms all sitting around watching them. It made me wish that I could sit here someday and watch my kids play on these toys." Bella gasped and froze, her eyes glued to the ground in front of her. "Bella, I know you wanted to wait until after the wedding, but I really think we should talk now. There is so much that needs to be said between us, I don't want to wait. Please, can we talk about this here?"

"Edward, I don't know. What if you don't like what I have to say and it ruins Alice's wedding? What then?"

I turned to look at her, carefully taking a hold of her hand, rubbing my thumb along the soft skin over her fingers. Noticing my ring around her left ring finger, my thumb traced over it and my resolve grew, feeling the need to reassure her of my true feelings. "Bella, I promise you, nothing you say could ever make me hate you. It couldn't even make me dislike you, not at all. Please, I need to know why you left me. You don't know how this has haunted me."

She nodded, sucking her lower lip into her mouth and pressing her teeth into it. It was a nervous habit she always had and my heart was overjoyed at the site of her doing it. I felt her fingers twist, weaving with mine and tightening. She let out a long breath before turning her head to look at me.

"Why do you think I left?" she asked. The way she continued to chew on her bottom lip make me think she was anxious, worried about what my answer would be.

"I thought you didn't love me," I said anxiously as I cleared my throat. "I thought I did something to hurt you or upset you. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I did, so I finally just decided that you fell out of love with me."

She shook her head as I saw her eyes watering. "That's not it at all. I was so in love with you. I don't think I could even begin to describe how much it hurt me to leave, but I had to do it, Edward. It was for the best, I really believed that."

Noticing that she used the past tense of the word believe, I jumped on the chance she'd just presented me with. "You don't think that anymore?"

"I don't know what I think now." She was quiet for a few moments, looking at our hands laced together. "So much has happened and I'm not that same girl I was when I left here. I've seen enough to know that fairy tales don't come true. There's no handsome prince riding a white stallion that's going to rescue me. I made one choice, one time, and it changed everything."

I watched her closely as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. I ached to wipe them away, to pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her, but I knew I couldn't do that. Not yet anyway.

"You don't know what it was like for me here, Edward. I had you and Alice and my dad, but that was all. Almost every other girl in school hated me because I had you. Boys didn't want to be my friend because they were afraid of you. Your parents were always nice to me, but I knew I wasn't enough; they wanted better for you. I missed my mother so much. I mean my dad's great, but sometimes he's not the easiest guy to talk to, especially about certain subjects." She reached up and wiped the tears away from her eyes with her free hand then turned to look at me. "I couldn't hold you back, Edward. I knew you meant it when you said you loved me, and that you would marry me one day, but I just couldn't be the reason you didn't get your dreams. I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me one day, too."

A sob broke from her body and I let go of her hand, putting my arm around her shoulders and drawing her toward my chest.

"Baby, it's okay. Please, everything is okay now. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere," I told her as she melted into me. I sat holding her for a few minutes as she cried, and once the sobs slowed, I felt her pull away from me. The loss of contact with her physically hurt me and I yearned to pull her back, but hesitated, wanting to give her the space she seemed to want.

"Edward, why didn't you look for me? Why didn't you come find me?" she asked, looking up into my eyes. The hurt I saw there was paralyzing and I couldn't speak.

"I—I thought you didn't want me to. You told me to stay away, I did what you wanted."

Her eyes closed as she processed what I had told her. Her head bowed and she whispered, "Yeah, I said that. Funny what your mind forgets sometimes."

Hooking my finger under her chin, I pulled her face up, my eyes meeting hers. "Why did you ask me to stay away? I don't understand; if you wanted me, why would you push me away like that?" I knew perfectly well why she had done it, but I needed her to tell me.

"Edward, something happened." I could see the internal struggle playing out in the emotions on her face and I waited patiently to hear what she would say. When she hesitated, I spoke.

"What? What happened? You can tell me, I promise it will be okay."

She stared into my eyes for a moment, before she let her eyelids slide shut, tears falling down her face as she did.

"Being in that restaurant tonight brought back a lot of memories, you know?" she said. "You remember the first time we went there together, right?" I nodded, eagerly waiting for her to continue talking. "Do you remember what else happened that night?" Her voice was getting quieter, heavier with fear.

"Yes, I remember. It was one of the best nights of my life, maybe even _the_ best."

Her eyes flashed open, searching mine as if she could see something there. "You really think that? That night was really that important to you?"

I smiled at her, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Yes, Love, I do. That was the first night I made love to you, I could never forget that."

She sighed; her body relaxed a bit as she raised her hand up to touch my chin, tracing the edge of my jawbone. I wanted to kiss her, the urge growing at an alarming rate within me, but I didn't. I would wait until she was ready.

"Edward, love wasn't the only thing we made that night." Her breath caught in her throat, her voice lowering to the quietest whisper I'd ever heard. "We made a baby that night, too."

Her eyes stayed locked with mine as she waited.

"What?" I asked in disbelief, shocked at my response. I knew about E.C., yet at this moment it felt like it was the first time I'd ever heard anything about him. Her words brought the reality of him crashing down onto me.

"Edward, I left because I was pregnant. I couldn't be _that_ girl to you. I couldn't be the one who got knocked up and cost you everything you'd worked so hard for. It was just easiest if I left; if I never told you. Please, don't hate me, I'm so sorry. I loved you so much and I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted you to have a life, the kind of life I knew you'd never have if you stayed with me." Her tears began again, sobs shaking her as she pulled farther away from me.

Sitting in stunned silence, I let my hand fall away from her chin. I watched her as she shrunk into herself, moving away from me. Her body language told me that she was ashamed, afraid, and regretful; all emotions I would imagine to be flowing through her as I rejected her. However, I wasn't rejecting her, I simply couldn't move. The surprise I was experiencing shocked me because I hadn't been expecting it. I'd known about E.C. and the reason Bella left for weeks now, so it shouldn't have been affecting me the way it was.

A few minutes passed as we sat beside each other, not touching and barely breathing. Just when I didn't think I would ever move or speak again, Bella shifted her position, standing up and turning away from the bench. I watched in wonder as she began to walk away from me.

"Wait." The word bubbled up from my chest all on its own, a natural, instinctive reaction to the thought of her leaving me again. She stopped and hesitated but did not look back at me. "Please, come back."

Standing still, she shook her head, keeping her gaze on the ground. "This was a mistake, Edward. I knew I shouldn't have told you now. I'm so sorry, I'll just go." She took another step and my body acted on its own accord, flying off the bench and towards her, catching her before she could even complete a second step.

"No, I let you walk away from me once and I promised myself that if I ever found you, I would never let you go again." As I stood in front of her, I raised my hands up and placed them gently on her hips, stepping closer into her. Her breath hitched as she looked up at me.

"Edward…how? How can you say that after what I did? It's unforgivable," she said, her voice thick with defeat and her eyes filled with sadness.

I swallowed the lump that was growing in my throat and dipped my head, bringing my lips to her ear. "Because I love you. I've always loved you and I want you. Please, sit down with me? Don't go." I was begging her, my soul literally screaming for her to stay with me.

She turned her head and blinked her eyes as she searched mine, struggling to find some bit of truthfulness in them. "But I... How can you want me after what I just told you? Why aren't you running away from me?"

I moved my hands from her hips, grasping her hands in mine and pulling her back to the bench. Her hesitant steps moved slowly, but soon we were back and she was sitting next to me.

I let out a sigh. "So, we have a baby? Tell me everything."

"I don't even know what to say, um…" She glanced around, clearly flustered by my question.

"Wait, why did you leave? Start there. How could you think I wouldn't want you or that I would hate you someday?" I asked. Her eyes lowered to my shirt collar and I could see her trying to decide how best to answer my question. She pulled in a long, deep breath before she began.

"We had plans, remember? We had everything figured out, we were all set. We just didn't take into account any of the 'what if's,' you know?" I knew she was right. We had planned out our lives, but the plan only worked if everything was perfect, if everything went right. I nodded in agreement, waiting for her to continue. "I didn't decide to leave on a whim, Edward. I want you to know that. I really thought about things, I really wanted to do what was right. I mean, what were the odds that I'd get pregnant the first time we actually did anything? We were so careful after that, I just didn't think it could happen to us."

Remembering our spring together, I knew there were a few other times that we hadn't been so careful, or had been in too much of a rush to be cautious, but that didn't matter now. I listened as she spoke, her voice gaining strength as she went.

"Did you know that my mom got pregnant with me when she was in high school? Did I ever tell you that?" she asked, looking into my eyes. I shook my head, justifying my response as being a partial truth; she'd never told me. I didn't mention to her that Charlie told me a couple of weeks ago. She sighed, before continuing. "I didn't want us to be like that. I didn't want us to try to do the right thing and then end up miserable. I didn't want us to be my parents, Edward. I know what it was like growing up in a house like that, and I never wanted that for our child." Her eyes glistened with tears as she shook her head.

"Bella, you don't know that's how we would have ended up. You never even gave me a chance to prove myself to you."

"Edward, you would have done what you thought was right, I know you would have. You would have married me and given up your life for me and our baby, and someday you would have resented me for taking away your choices. Think about it, how would you feel right now if you'd never gotten to go to college? If we were living in a two bedroom apartment, scraping by, barely able to pay our bills and put food on the table? How would you feel about me for putting you in that position?" she asked, looking sadly into my eyes.

I reached over and placed my hand on hers. "At least we would have been together. I would have found a way to go to college and to support us, and to make you happy. Plus, you and I both know that between our parents, we would be been fine."

She looked down at our hands, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as she did. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did. Harder than missing you; harder than giving birth alone; harder than all the sleepless nights and harder than telling my parents I was pregnant. I used to lie awake at night and cry, wishing you'd come find me; wishing that I could just tell you. That you would find out and that you'd want me; wishing that you'd be happy about being a dad. Then I'd see your games on TV, and I'd see how happy you were, how amazing you were on that field, and I knew that I made the right decision. Your happiness was worth any price I had to pay."

"But Bella, I wasn't happy. My life was horrible without you in it, how could you not know that? When you left me, you tore my heart out and took it with you. I've been a zombie these past four years. I don't look at other girls, I don't think about my future and I'm not happy. You are the thing I've been missing. You are what I've wanted. You are what I need," I told her.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I did the best I could to make things right. I told him all about you and your family. He's seen every game you've ever played in. He has your pictures, and your jersey and a football that you signed. He loves you, Edward, so much. You're his daddy and I'm so sorry I kept him from you." Her tears began to fall again and I reached up to wipe the drops from her cheeks.

My brain was going a thousand miles an hour as I went over and over the things she was saying to me. I knew that I should come clean, tell her that I knew about E.C., but I just couldn't. Not yet, I had to keep it a secret for a little longer.

"So the baby was a boy?" I asked.

She nodded, a tiny smile turning up the corners of her lips. "Yeah, he's a boy, and he's so much like you." A laugh escaped her mouth and my heart leapt at the sound of it. "He's so beautiful. He has my eyes, the brown color and the shape, but the rest of him is you. His hair, his skin, his smile, even the way he stands. Sometimes it takes my breath away when I look at him. It's like I'm seeing you, and it breaks my heart all over again."

"What's he like?" I asked quietly, hoping she would tell me something about him.

"Um, he's smart. He's so sweet, always wanting to help me." She laughed again, "He thinks he's so strong, trying to carry in the groceries for me. He says he can do it all by himself, so sometimes I let him help me with the smaller stuff, but he always begs for the heavy bags. Oh and he loves sports. He's a natural at them, just like you are."

As I listened to her talk about him, there was one thing I wanted to hear more than anything else. "What's his name?"

The smile fell from her face as she looked at me, a strange expression taking over and causing her brows to crease ever so slightly. "His name? I didn't tell you his name?"

I shook my head, "No, and I'd really like to know."

She placed her free hand on top of our two hands that were already joined together. "His name is E.C., Edward Charlie. I hope you don't mind that I named him after you and my dad. I just wanted him to carry the names of the two men I've loved most in my life, and I wanted him to be proud of his heritage."

A smile grew on my lips, the thrill of hearing her say his name bringing more joy to my soul than I thought possible. "E.C., huh? I like that." We sat silently for a moment, just watching one another, until I remembered something she had mentioned during one of our previous phone calls.

"Bella, you told me that E.C. was the little boy next door. The boy I spoke to on the phone, was that him?" I was thinking as quickly as I could, cursing myself up and down for not having just admitted right away that I knew about E.C. I was digging myself in deeper and deeper, and if I didn't say something soon, I was going to be in serious trouble with Bella.

She nodded, "Yeah… that was him. I'm so sorry I lied to you, I panicked and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell you in person, I just didn't think this was something you could say over the phone, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Its okay, I get it. So, where is he? Did you bring him here or he did he stay in Miami?"

"Um," tears began building in her eyes again, "he's here." Her voice was so quiet, I could hardly hear her. "He's at my dad's house."

I waited for her to look at me again, and when she finally did, I spoke. "I'd like to see him. Do you…would that be okay?" I asked, praying that she would agree.

"You really want to see him?" Her eyes grew wider as she looked at me, the shock of my acceptance easy to read in her expression.

I grinned, "Well, yeah, I wanna see him. I want to talk to him. I want to bring him here—can I bring him here?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so, but do you really want everyone to see you with him? I mean, one look at the two of you and people are going to know, Edward. What about your family?" Her breathing picked up and she shifted away from me. "Oh…your parents are going to hate me."

"Hey," I said firmly, reaching out and hooking my fingers under her chin, pulling her face around to me again. "You let me worry about my family, okay? I'll tell them and I'll make sure that they don't have anything but love for you, do you hear me?"

She nodded quickly, looking into my eyes. "Edward…"

I waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "Yes?" I asked.

"Alice knew."

I let out a long breath, the guilt of keeping a secret from her eating away at me. I wanted to tell her everything I'd learned over the past few weeks, but it wasn't the right time, so I continued to play along with her. "Alice knew what?"

Her eyes slid closed. "Alice knew about E.C."

"Oh," I replied, her eyes opening quickly and pleading with mine.

"Please Edward, don't be angry with her. I begged her not to tell you; I made her promise me. Please, this is all my fault, don't be mad at her."

"How long has Alice known?" I wanted to hear as much from Bella about this as I could, hoping that it would help me to eventually get over the resentment I had been harboring against Alice.

"Since right after I found out. I told her that day in your house, when I last saw you."

"Is that why you two were fighting?"

"Yes, she wanted me to tell you, she didn't think I should keep it a secret, and she wanted you to know. I begged her, Edward. I threatened to not be her friend anymore if she told you." She looked down at her lap, fidgeting nervously with her skirt. "I was so horrible to her. I said all the things that I knew she couldn't handle hearing from me because I knew she would believe me, and I couldn't risk you finding out. I just had to tell someone, and she was my best friend."

I nodded, taking deep breaths as I struggled to not say anything about what had been going on in my house over the past few weeks.

"She called me so many times after I left, sobbing and asking if she could please just tell you. She would tell me how you were, how bad things were and she'd cry and cry. It broke my heart for her, but I couldn't let her do it. Then one day she just stopped asking. I don't know why, but she didn't ask, and she didn't tell me about you anymore. I thought maybe she'd gotten over it, but she was just so sad. I still don't know why." She looked up at me again, her eyes full of questions, searching mine for answers. I turned my head, not wanting her to see the reasons why Alice stopped talking about me.

"Alice and I haven't been all that close over the past few years, I'm sure she told you that. We kind of drifted apart, which I guess is pretty normal." She continued to watch me closely as I looked out over the park, noticing the lights slowly turning off.

"Well, I think we'd better go. It's getting kind of late, I'm sure you need to get back. I think Alice has a lot planned for us tomorrow." I looked over to her as she nodded in response.

"Yeah, I should go. Um, I can walk from here if you want," she said, looking with uncertainty at me.

"No, you're not walking home," I said. "Your dad thinks I'm bringing you home, and I am." I stood from the bench, taking a step away from it before turning around and holding my hand out for her. She looked carefully at it for a few moments, before looking up to me.

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked.

"You really want to?" she whispered.

"Yeah, more than anything."

Her mouth turned up in a little smile and she cautiously reached out, placing her small hand in mine. She stood up and I pulled her towards me, snaking my other arm around her waist. Burying my nose in her hair, I breathed in the scent I'd been missing for four years, as I felt her hand creep across my chest, around my neck and into my hair. The feeling of her fingers on my skin was amazing and I prayed that she couldn't feel the other part of my body that was responding to her touch, complaining that her hand was about three feet too high.

"Come on," I whispered in her ear, placing a tender kiss there before pulling away from her and walking down the sidewalk towards the restaurant.

We talked about plans for the next few days as we walked, and I hoped that she would give me an idea of how much time she wanted to spend with me over the next week. As I planned it all out in my head, I wondered when a good time would be to tell her about my going to school in Miami. I hoped that she would be happy and that maybe if she knew how close I would be to her, then she might be more willing to rekindle something between us.

I helped her into the car, taking notice that the cars belonging to my family members were already gone from the parking lot. I was certain I would have several anxious faces to deal with when I got home, but I didn't care. Right now, I was with Bella and I would deal with whatever I had to later.

"This car is really nice, Edward. What happened to the other one?" she asked, looking curiously around the car a few minutes later, like she was trying to remember something.

"Oh, thanks. Um, I got this one a couple of years ago. The other is fine. I was going to sell it but I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to let it go." As we sat at a stop sign, I looked over at her. "It was the only tangible reminder of you that I had left."

Her breath hitched as she looked back at me. "Oh."

"I put it in storage. I try and drive it once in a while, keep the engine going and all that. I guess I was kind of saving it." I watched her as she turned to look out the window, lost in her thoughts. I didn't dare tell her that I was saving the car for her; that I wanted it to be hers one day. Maybe if the week went well, I would be able to get her to take it out driving with me one day and I knew exactly where I would take her.

We pulled up to her father's house and I cut the lights, turning off the car. Sitting silently, I reached across the console and took her hand, weaving my fingers with hers. "Can I walk to you to the door?" I asked hesitantly.

She nodded timidly and then smiled at me. "I'd like that."

I climbed out of the car, quickly walking around to her door and opening it, letting her out. As she stood up, leaning into me, my body remembered that first night that we were joined together so long ago, when she'd done the same thing and I knew that I would never belong with anyone else. It was like instinct, her body taking on the exact movements it had before.

_I got out of the car and went around to Bella's side to open her door. She stood up next to me, putting her hands on my chest and placing a kiss on the underside of my jaw. She skimmed her nose along my jaw bone towards my chin, and then kissed me softly there. She reached for the handle to the back door and opened it before slowly climbing in and sliding across the seat. I followed. I would always follow her._

Her hands ghosted across my chest as she skimmed her nose along my throat. I was frozen, unsure of what to do. One part of me screamed for her to open the back door and let me slide in with her. The other part of me knew that would never happen and screamed instead for the little boy that was only steps away from me.

She pulled back, looking up at me. "Edward, do you want to meet him?"

My eyes grew wider with her offer. Was she serious? I knew it was late and he was most likely asleep, but would she really let me see him? Touch him? I nodded frantically. "Yes, can I please?"

She smiled, reaching down and taking my hand. "Come on. He's probably asleep, but it's okay. You can see him if you want to."

Walking up to the door, I began to worry. I knew Charlie was inside and that he had encouraged me to meet with Bella again, but now that they were really here, would he be okay with me seeing them? Would he chase me off with his shot gun? We walked into the house and Bella moved toward the living room, poking her head around the corner, the sound of the TV playing quietly in the background.

"My dad's asleep," she said with a smile. "Come on."

I followed her up the stairs and past the first door to the room that I knew was hers. The door was slightly ajar and there was a night light on. She slowly pushed the door open, slipping into the room and walking to the bedside table, turning on a lamp. I stepped into the room, a light glow filling its small space and was overcome by the vision before me. Lying on the bed, tucked snuggly under the bedspread was my son. His angelic little face was so peaceful, and before I even realized what I was doing, I was standing over him, gazing down at his sleeping form.

His hair was the same color as mine, and I quietly laughed at the way it was poking up in twenty different directions. His long, dark eyelashes lay on his pink cheeks, and his lips were puckered together, closed tightly as though he was trying to kiss someone. My breath caught, excitement building in me when I saw a picture held securely in his hand.

"What's that?" I quietly asked Bella, pointing to the picture that was only half way sticking out of the blanket.

She gently lifted it from his hand, causing him to stir and I stood frozen as I watched him get comfortable as he went back to sleep. She held the picture out to me and a wave of pride crashed over me; it was my football picture.

"I had to laminate this one. He had a few others before and after the third one went through the washing machine, he cried for two days until I found this one. I laminated it before I gave it to him. I must have done a good job on it because it's held up for over a year now. I'm still so surprised about that, and honestly a little proud," she said with a giggle.

Looking closely at the picture, I marveled that he would think enough of me to want to carry my picture with him. As I handed it back to Bella, I noticed something on the other side of it, and pulled it back toward me. Flipping it over, I couldn't believe the images on the back. It was Bella and me in one of those photo booth strips with four different pictures. We had taken them at a spring carnival only a few weeks after we'd first made love. We were so happy then, and remembering the time frame jolted me when I realized Bella had been pregnant in the pictures.

"I always loved these pictures. We were so happy," she said.

I smiled, "Yeah, we were."

Her finger traced our faces in the pictures. "I was pregnant in these, but I didn't know it yet. I kind of feel like these are our only family pictures, you know?"

I sighed, "Yeah, I guess so." I quickly thought back to the dinner earlier that evening when I'd overheard Bella and Rosalie discussing pictures at the wedding. "We'll have to see about changing that, okay?"

She smiled up at me, "Okay."

She took the picture and tucked it back into E.C.'s hands as I stood looking at him, marveling at his beauty, before I dropped to my knees. I carefully ghosted my hands over his face, his hair, and his little arm that was peeking out from under the covers. I touched his eyelashes, traced his nose and lips and I felt his pulse beating in his neck.

"Hi," I whispered to him. "I'm your daddy." I swallowed the lump that was quickly growing in my throat. "I'm sorry I didn't come find you sooner, but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I tried to blink them away. "I love you, son, and I can't wait to see you, talk to you and hold you."

I heard a sniffle behind me, and turned to see Bella wiping at her eyes, her lips quivering as she watched us. Looking back toward E.C., I leaned forward, lightly placing a kiss on his forehead, savoring the feel of his skin against my lips. It was different than when I kissed Bella or anyone else, almost reverent and pure. I pulled back a little, fearing my tears would drop on his skin and wake him. "I love you, E.C. and so I'm happy you're mine. You and your momma, you're everything to me."

Bella gasped behind me and I slowly stood, reaching over to turn off the lamp. The room became darker, but I could still see her standing in the shadows. I stepped closer to her, reaching up to wipe the tears from her face. She looked at me with a look I hadn't seen in four years; it was a look of love, passion, admiration, and trust. It was a look I didn't deserve from her, but my heart soared because of it.

"Edward, you have to stop. The way you see me, it's not right." I looked at her, curious about what she meant. "I'm not perfect, you know that. I make mistakes, Edward. You like, you have me up on this pedestal, and I'm not that girl. I'm not some angel with a halo around my head. That's not me."

I looked into her eyes, "I'm not perfect either, and I don't expect you to be, but in my eyes, you will always be perfection. Don't you get it? You are everything I want; everything I need."

"Edward…"

I took another step towards her, as she took a step backwards. After a few more steps, her back was pressed against the wall, and I took another step into her, pushing my body against hers. She looked at me through hooded eyes as I leaned my head towards hers.

"I love you, Bella," I said as I angled her face up towards mine, brushing my lips against hers. She was still hesitant, so I went slowly. Feeling the heat of her mouth on mine, I gently sucked at her top lip, molding my lips around hers, moving tenderly until I felt her hands gliding up my hips to the waistband of my pants. Her fingers soon found the belt loops there and twisted into them as I moved my lips to draw her bottom lip between mine.

Her lips began to move with mine and the kiss grew deeper, more intense. I slid my tongue along her bottom lip, tasting her, and she opened her mouth, granting me entrance. Her hands pulled my hips closer to her as my hands moved to her cup her face, stroke her neck and weave into her hair. Our tongues tangled together as the longing we had both felt over the last four years came out in our actions.

I felt myself pushing harder into her as she began pulling me even closer, and I was soon overwhelmed by the softness of her skin, the smell of her perfume and the taste of her mouth. I was almost completely overcome with the feelings I had for her when I heard a movement behind me. _E.C._ I shifted slightly away from her, feeling the loss instantly and wishing we were alone so that I could ravage her, shower her with all the affection I had saved for her. My body craved her and I found it almost impossible to stop.

Our kisses soon changed from hard and passionate to slow and easy. Finally pulling my lips away from hers, I leaned in and placed a soft peck on the center of her mouth, then each corner, then the tip of her nose, and finally her forehead. I noticed her eyes were closed and I leaned my forehead against hers, letting out a deep breath.

"Forever, Love..." I said.

She quietly whispered back, "Forever."

I traced my fingers across her cheeks, her lips and her collarbones before finally stepping away and slipping out the door. I left the house, locking the handle on the door before closing it. My family was inside and I felt the weight of my responsibilities to them begin to engulf me. As I walked to my car, I turned around to glance up at the window to the room I knew they were both in and saw Bella's shadow watching me. I smiled and raised my hand to wave, as I climbed into my car and drove away.

I made a silent promise to them and to myself that somehow and some way, we would be a real family one day; no matter what it took.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Hmmmm, little bit of lovin' going on, huh? Might we be seeing a bit more of that? I don't know… :D**

**This little story of mine got some famous readers this week. o.O Awww, crum… I'm still squeeing over that! :D**

**I will be posting an o/s for an angsty contest next week, so if you wanna read it and see what horrible things I can come up with, make sure to put me on author alert or author favorite or something. **

**Rec's? You want some awesomeness…here you go!!!**

_**Catching Spiders**_** by lambcullen – 'What if that first crush of your youth followed you? Haunted you? Broke you? What if it was broken too? "Hold out your hand. Come back to me..."'**

**It's pretty new, chapter 3 right now, but it's angsty as all get out. I am in love with it. :) She's got several stories that are amazing, so don't stop with this one.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5809949/1/Catching_Spiders**

_**The Cannabean Betrothal**_** by ItzMegan73 – 'Edward has immersed himself in the Cannabean way to ward off the hurt of a life-changing experience; but an unexpected betrothal teaches him how little he knows about life.'**

**This is the third of her three stories, and I've rec'd them all now. It's no secret – I adore her and the way she writes. Check this out, you won't be sorry. It's incredible.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5354724/1/The_Cannabean_Betrothal**

**And a complete one –**

_**Tropic of Virgo**_** by In..bathrobe – 'He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?'**

**I don't know how I haven't rec'd this story yet. It is quite probably one of my absolute favorite stories ever. It's beautiful and sweet and angsty and heartbreaking and poetic and smokin' hot. It's really everything a good story should be. You'll fall in love with it, trust me.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4901517/1/Tropic_of_Virgo**

**So, remember I'm on Twitter if you wanna chat, and there's a page for this baby on Twilighted, so you can find me there too.**

**Check out the PIC FanFic blog if you want more story recommendations. Those girls are cool and I'm so happy they let me do things around there, like scrub floors and wipe bread crumbs off the tables. They even let me fold laundry, so it's all good.**

**There are links to all of these places on my profile. It's easier to just put them there. :D**

**Thanks for reading this and please leave me some love. We got some hopefully funny times coming up next, so get ready!!! Three words… Edward + Condoms + Charlie. You know you're intrigued now. :)**


	9. Chapter 9 Sex and Candy

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a 6-pack of Organic Soda that my friend **_**BittenBee**_** talked me into buying. It's actually really good. Who knew? :P**

**Sorry this is a little late, but it's the longest chapter yet, so I hope that makes up for it. So, updates may be a little more sporadic. The school year is winding down for my kids and it seems like I have something every other day that I have to be at or help with or set up for or chaperone… Man, mom stuff is busy. I'll do my best with getting things written and to you, I promise.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**I love debating character traits with her. She's so smart… :)**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** I love those girlies…**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**for prereading this. And thanks to **_**MeowVemulapalli & MaggieMay14**_** for filling in for a vacationing **_**Unchanged Affections**_** this go round. I hope the beach was worth missing a sneak peak at this chapter… I'm sure it was. :D**

**Got a little question for you at the end, so make sure and check it out. **

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 9 - Sex and Candy

Hangin' round downtown by myself  
And I had too much caffeine  
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself  
And then there she was  
In platform double suede  
Yeah there she was  
Like disco lemonade

I smell sex and candy here  
Who's that lounging in my chair  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction  
Mama this surely is a dream

"Sex and Candy" by Marcy's Playground

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All the lights were on when I pulled into the driveway. I was sure my family was awake, waiting to question me about my evening. I hadn't said goodbye to any of them at the restaurant, but I knew the fact that both Bella and I had disappeared would not be lost on them.

Entering the house, I heard them all in the kitchen talking and laughing. Quickly turning, I headed up the back staircase, being as quiet as I could. I changed my clothes and crawled into bed, the image of my son still front and center in my mind. Breathing deeply, I could still smell Bella's scent on my skin, and I instantly grew hard thinking about having pressed her against the wall. Panic soon overtook me and I bolted straight up in my bed. I reached over to the nightstand and flicked on the lamp. Pulling open the top drawer, my hand began digging through the contents_. No...No...Condoms. Oh man, I threw them all out._

Thinking back, I remembered the day after I had returned home from Miami. I had been so angry and upset over having lost Bella that, in a frantic fit, I threw away every condom I could find. I was bound and determined, at that time, that I would never again have sex. However, now that Bella was here, and she wanted me, all I could think about when I saw her was being with her again.

For the past four years I had dreamed of seeing her. All the wishes and desires that had been buried deep inside of me began to break free. I saw us eating dinner together, watching movies together, taking walks together, watching E.C. play at the park—a whole list of things I wanted to do with her. I wanted to bring her flowers and make her laugh, to win her a stupid stuffed animal at a fair or hold her purse while she tried on clothes. I wanted to be the one she cried to, the one she celebrated with, the one she snuggled into. I wanted her in every way imaginable and now that all my dreams were within my grasp, I knew I couldn't mess it up. I needed to be ready for whatever situation presented itself.

My hands raked through my hair and I let out a long breath. Apparently a trip to the drug store was going to be first on my list of things to do the next morning. I lay back in bed, planning how I could get away from Alice's itinerary long enough to get the things that Bella and I might hopefully need. I knew it was most likely too soon, but I didn't want to be unprepared and miss my chance either. Being that one of the few times we'd had sex without protection resulted in our son, I didn't think she'd be anxious to chance it again. I settled into my pillow, and sleep soon overtook me, my dreams consisting of a little boy and the beautiful woman who both own my heart.

Light poured through my windows as I felt something on my forehead. _What the..._ I tried to ignore it, hoping I was dreaming, but whatever it was on my forehead grew harder, more persistent. It was repetitive, yet there was no pattern to the taps. I shifted to my side, feeling something large and hard in my way. _What was in my bed?_ I cautiously opened my eyes, seeing a body in front of me. Looking up slowly, I saw blonde curls and a protruding belly. _Rosalie._

Her arm stretched out over me and she was pecking my forehead with her fingers, digging her long finger nails in a little more with each tap. It was starting to be a little more than just annoying, in fact it was starting to hurt, so I swiped gently at her hand, trying to get her to stop.

"Rose, what are you doing? I'm trying to sleep here."

"Really? Huh, I never would have known if you hadn't told me," she said. She was leaning over me, her face blank of any expression, and she withdrew her hand, laying it on her lap.

I nuzzled back into the sheets, only to be met with tapping on the back of my head.

"Rosalie, knock it off." I was tired and as much as I loved her, she was really starting to annoy me.

She let out a huff. "Edward, do I mean nothing to you?"

_What?_ I blinked, rubbing my eyes as I turned to lie on my back.

"Uh, what are you talking about?"

"Seriously Edward, I thought we had a relationship of some kind. I thought you liked me." I heard her sniffle. I opened my eyes to look up at her, seeing her wipe a tear from her cheek.

"Rose," I said as I quickly sat up, somewhat uncomfortable that I was sitting so close to my very pregnant sister-in-law in only a pair of boxer briefs and a sheet. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cut the crap, Edward!" she snapped. I recoiled, slightly shocked by her outburst. She glared at me and my sleep hazed brain tried to decipher what she was talking about.

"Let's see here, Eddie boy. Is there something that everyone else in the family knew, except for me? Huh? Can you think of anything at all?" Her hand rose and started tapping on my forehead again. I knew if she kept this up I'd have a crescent shaped imprint from her fingernail in the center of my forehead and Alice wouldn't be happy about that when it came to pictures the next day.

"Uh, I'm not sure Rosalie." Maybe if I just played dumb she would take it easy on me.

"Oh I don't know, _Edward_. Think, you idiot!" She glared down at me, her eyes shooting a stare that should have left me writhing in pain. Her arms folded across her chest, lying atop her belly, and she impatiently tapped her fingers on her forearm. When her eyebrow quirked up, I knew feigning innocent was not going to work.

I let out a sigh. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Rose. I just...I didn't tell anyone really, they kind of just found out."

"Oh please, Edward, that's not what I heard. I heard that you told everyone _but_ me!" she yelled. Her voice was rising higher and higher and I was afraid of who might come running when they heard her.

"Yeah, okay, I told them. Alright? Geez, I just didn't think about telling you, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything, I just didn't have a lot of time, you know?" She stewed, her eyes cutting through me. I stared right back at her, remembering that animals could sense fear and hoping that this wasn't the same thing, though she was really freaking me out.

Her face broke out in a huge smile. _Holy crap, woman!_ These must have been the mood swings Emmett was talking about. They were starting to give me whiplash and I shook my head in confusion.

"Oh, I saw his pictures, Edward! He's so beautiful! He looks just like you, I can't believe it! Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad that you didn't tell me, but I'm so excited my little princess will have a cousin!" Her words were coming out a mile a minute and the tone of her voice was rising higher and higher. "Oh yeah, and it's a good thing he's a boy because you know what it means to me to have the first Cullen granddaughter. All those cute little dresses and bows...oh, I can't wait. But anyway, I'm so excited! When do we get to meet him Edward? Huh, when?"

She sat looking at me with wide eyes, like she was a seven year old waiting to open her Christmas presents.

"Um, I don't know. I didn't really talk to Bella about that. I will today, maybe. I'll get back to you." I smiled, trying to show her that I was being honest.

"Oh Edward, Bella is a doll! I had so much fun talking to her last night, until she disappeared on me, but oh, I can't wait until you two get married. You are getting married, right?"

My eyes grew wider at her suggestion. _Marriage? Really?_ "Uh, Rose, I think it's a little early to be thinking anything like that. I mean, last night was the first time in four years that I've even seen her. I have no idea what to expect."

Her brow furrowed and her lips puckered into a little pout. "What do you mean you don't know? You have to marry her, Edward. You love her. She loves you. You have a son together, for goodness sake. It's gonna happen, whether you like it or not!" I continued to stare at her in shock as she started talking more to herself than to me.

"Oh, a fall wedding would be so beautiful. Or no, Christmas! A wedding in the snow, it would be so romantic." She turned back to face me. "Oh Edward, I'm so excited! I can't wait to help Bella start planning. And the baby should be old enough to smile by then. We'll get such good family pictures! This is perfect, Edward. Aren't you so happy?" I shook my head slowly,

"Uh, I'm not really sure what I am right now." My breaths were coming much faster and in shorter bursts.

"Eddie, are you okay? You look like you're gonna pass out or something. Maybe you should lie back." I did as Rosalie suggested and soon the room stopped spinning. As I lie there thinking about all the things Rose had said, I realized I had nothing to be nervous about. Ultimately I did want to marry Bella someday, but would I really be ready in a few months? Everything was just moving so fast, I hadn't had time to really think about it.

She let out a short sigh. "It's going to be so hard to spend the whole evening around Bella and not say anything about the wedding. I guess if I slip up, I can just pass it off as talk about Alice's wedding, but I really do need to find out what colors she'd like. Oh, and her dress, I wonder what she'll want. The church here doesn't really have an aisle long enough for a cathedral length train, but I'm sure we can find something perfect for her." I was a little surprised at how easily she jumped up off the bed and rushed out of the room, mumbling something about cousins, ice cream, and wedding announcements.

As I sat back thinking about all that had transpired in the last few minutes, I realized something—I had completely forgotten about all the girls hanging out together for the evening. I knew that the girls would be meeting up with us guys toward the end of the night, but I hadn't really considered the fact that Bella would be on her own all evening with the women in my family. Now that I knew what Rosalie was thinking, it wouldn't be long before my mother and Alice were thinking the same things.

I decided that I might need to warn Bella, or at least have a very serious talk with my mother and sister before all of this took place, otherwise this could be bad. I bolted out of bed, determined to accomplish my task for the morning and then find some time to sit the Cullen women down for a serious discussion. I knew they'd scare Bella off if they started talking long term with her too fast, and I couldn't chance them ruining our reunion. Last night had gone so perfectly, it would kill me to watch it all crumble because of something they said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pulling up to the drug store, I was relieved to only see a few cars in the parking lot. While it was no big deal to buy contraceptives, Forks was a small town and I knew it wouldn't take much for word to get around that Edward Cullen was replenishing his supplies. Walking into the store, I cringed when I saw Lauren Mallory standing behind the cash register. _Wonderful_, I thought, nervous about running into her. That was all I needed, one of my past playmates giving me a hard time for getting it on with someone else. I ducked down the first aisle so that she wouldn't see me and made a beeline for what I needed.

I walked through the store, noticing a few older women. I briefly wondered if I could charm one of them into buying my items for me, but quickly let that thought go when I realized that a couple of them were wearing animal prints. Nothing says "Cougar" quite like a leopard print halter top, and I absolutely didn't want them getting the wrong idea. I'd been with lots of older women in the last few years, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

Finally locating the section I was looking for, I was a little overwhelmed by the selection. Most stores didn't have this many options when it came to condoms, and I quickly began to admire all the different types, colors, sizes and quantities. I debated over what to get, picking up several boxes and reading about what they had to offer. I knew that if Bella and I got to that point, I would want her to be comfortable and have fun. I looked at the ribbed ones, wondering if they'd give her the same pleasure they seemed to give most other girls. I looked at the glow in the dark ones, knowing if I got her in the backseat of my car again, that could be interesting. I looked at the spermicidal ones, thinking they might show that I was being extra careful.

I was nervous. I'd bought condoms a thousand times, though I tried at all cost to avoid buying them in Forks. There was nothing like doing something like that in a small town. It just never went over well. I always bought them in Seattle or Port Angeles, but I didn't want to take any chances, and I was out of time. I had to buy them. After stalling long enough, the hard part came—what size box to buy. I really didn't want to have to come back here soon, so the three pack didn't seem like a good choice. If I bought the economy pack, it would seem like I was planning to have lot of sex, and I didn't want Bella thinking that. I had almost decided to buy one of each, still not sure about the type I would get, when I heard it.

There was a slight shuffling somewhere behind me, things falling onto the floor, which I hadn't paid much attention to, but then the voice…

"Shoot! I tripped, sorry Dad."

"You okay Bells?"

_Bella?_

_And Charlie?_

_Oh please, no… Please, please, please no._ What horrible thing did I do to let me be here, browsing the condom aisle, at the same time that my baby mama and her dad happened to stop by? I was screwed, and not in the way I had been hoping. I looked back and forth, searching for the fastest and best escape route when they spotted me.

"Edward? Is that you, son?"

Slowly, I turned to look at them both, my eyes wide.

"Hey Charlie, Bella. How are you?" I stumbled through the words, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole. Hell would have been so much better than this.

Bella peeked around Charlie and I saw a smile growing on her face as she looked at me. My heart stuttered and I smiled back at her, raising my hand to wave, forgetting about the economy sized variety pack of condoms I was holding in my hand. Both of their eyes flashed immediately to the bright red box, which ironically was the same color my cheeks had just turned.

Bella's smile dropped as her mouth hung open, probably wondering what I was buying them for. Charlie cleared his throat before speaking. "So, whatcha buying there, Edward?" I met his stare, his eyes quickly hardening as they peered through me.

"Um, condoms?"

"Oh really? Why, exactly, would you be buying those?" he asked, a curious look crossing his face. I wasn't sure if he was going shoot me where I stood or give me the benefit of the doubt.

"Uh, it's a joke…for Jasper's car, yeah. We're gonna put them on his car tonight for the guys night out. Yep." I nodded as I rocked back on my heels, hoping they'd buy my horrible lie of a story.

Charlie's face quickly turned into a smile. "That sounds interesting. How'd you end up with the job of buying them?"

"Well, I drew the short straw, so here I am."

Charlie stepped forward, eyeing the different boxes available. "Wow, there are so many more kinds now days then there were when I was younger. What kind you thinking about?"

Bella stood frozen a few feet away from us, her eyes scanning to take it all in. I swallowed the lump in my throat before turning to answer his question.

"Well, I was looking at the colored ones, they'd draw more attention. But glow in the dark would be good since it's gonna be at night." I rubbed my forehead, my eyes squinting, burning at the thought of discussing condoms with Charlie. If only he knew what I really had planned for these things. He'd drag me outside and beat me to a bloody pulp before I could declare my undying love for his daughter.

"Yeah, the glow in the dark ones are probably your best bet," he said as he picked up a box of them and flipped it over to read the information on the back.

Bella shifted, turning to the side. "Uh, Dad, I think I'm gonna go get that thing I needed." She looked back to me, her face full of questions, before looking across the store. "I'll be back…" She slowly walked away, glancing back at us every few steps. I watched her, unable to take my eyes off of her, and wishing I could go wherever she was going.

"So Jasper's car is gonna be _bursting_ with these things, huh?" he asked, as he continued to look at different boxes.

"That's the plan," I said.

He nodded and laughed, "Nice. I should try and pull him over while he's got these things on. That could make my night a lot more interesting, really _wrap it up_ nice and tight for me."

Crap! I was getting deeper and deeper in with this thing. Even though I was relatively sure Emmett would be thrilled with my new idea, it meant I was going to have to buy a lot more of these if I hoped to have any left over for myself. Then again, if I bought a lot of them, people might not notice the exact number… _I just might be able to pull this off_.

Bella was soon walking back toward us, down the other end of the aisle, stopping next to me. I could tell that her breathing was a bit erratic and she seemed nervous, though I was sure it wasn't nearly as nervous as I was.

"So Bells, what do you think? Are girls more interested in the color ones or the glowing ones?" Charlie asked, completely at ease with the topic. I dropped my stare to the ground, suddenly finding my shoes completely enthralling.

Her mouth opened and I waited for words to come out. After a few tries she finally spoke in a rather hushed tone. "Oh…uh…well, I wouldn't really know, Dad. Um, I guess whatever is just fine."

"Well Edward here was looking at the ribbed ones. I don't know much about those, do you think they're any good, Bella?" Charlie said. Bella and I both stood frozen, and completely humiliated. My hands were shoved into my front pockets, clenched into fists. Bella stood next to me, shifting from one foot to the next and fidgeting with a small box in her hand.

She cleared her throat. "I—I really don't know, Dad."

I searched the ground, hoping to find a lucky penny so that I could wish this whole scenario away, but there was nothing. _Darn you, you drug store cleaning crew people! _Charlie continued looking from box to box, comparing the pros and cons as Bella and I stood silently by, waiting for him to make a decision.

Finally, just when I thought I might drop everything and run out of the store, he pushed three boxes towards me. "Here you go, Edward. These two will be great for Jasper's car," he said as he pointed to the two economy size boxes, one containing colored condoms and the other the glow in the dark ones he'd been so fascinated with. The third box was smaller, just a three pack and as I looked closer, I noticed it was one with spermicide. He leaned closer to me, his voice dropping. "That's for you. And I'd better not see you with any other girls any time soon, you understand?"

I nodded quickly, afraid to meet his eyes.

"I know what you're thinking, and Bella is a grown woman who can make her own decisions, but I promise you Edward, you hurt her and I'll make sure you pay. Got that?" His voice had a growl to it that I'd never heard before. I was literally shaking in my boots as I tried to answer him, my voice coming out in a rather high pitched squeak.

"Yes, sir."

He patted me on the shoulder as he looked around me to see a mortified Bella standing next to me, her eyes squeezed shut and shaking her head back and forth. "You get that medicine for E.C., Bells? You ready to go?"

Medicine? Was he sick? Was something wrong with him? Suddenly the whole condom debacle left my head and all I think about was E.C. and what might be wrong with him.

I turned to Bella, grasping her forearm. "Is he okay?"

She slowly opened her eyes, looking up at me. "Yeah, he's fine. Just a little sniffle, probably from the plane. You know, all that recycled air and everything. It's nothing." She smiled a reassuring smile at me and my heart rate began to slow back to normal.

"Alright, that's good. You should get him that Airborne stuff for when you go home next week. They make a kid's one, I saw it before. He might like that. I think it's grape, does he like grape?" I didn't even know what flavors my son liked. What kind of father could I even be to my son if I didn't know things like that?

Bella smiled wider at me, her eyes meeting mine and calming me. "Yes, he likes grape. Maybe you could get that for him, bring it by next week. I'm sure he'd like that."

I nodded, excited at the thought of doing something for my son.

"See ya, Edward." Charlie said as he started to walk toward the front of the building. "Have fun with your little project tonight. Just remember to stay _safe_ and keep things _protected_." He turned to glance over his shoulder at me, reminding me that he knew what I was really thinking. Luckily, Bella was looking at the box in her hands and didn't catch the knowing look her father was giving me.

She started to rub her shoe on the floor. "So, are you going out tonight with the boys?" she quietly asked.

"Yeah, I think we're going to the batting cages or something and then a bar. You're going out with Alice and the girls, right?"

"Uh huh, I'm going. I'm a little nervous to be around your mom, I'm afraid she hates me." Her face was suddenly so sad; I couldn't stop from reaching out to stroke her cheek with my free hand.

"Hey, don't worry, I told you I'd take care of them and I did. They won't say anything, but if they do, you tell them to talk to me, okay? You don't have to talk about it. If it gets too bad, call me and I'll come get you. Deal?"

Her eyes were searching mine, like she was trying to decide if she should trust me. Finally, she let out a long breath. "Deal."

"So, I'll see you tonight at the club, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Can I take you home afterwards?"

She snorted as her lips turned up into a little grin. "Well, I think Leah is coming with me, so she'll probably drive. She's Sue's daughter, my dad's girlfriend. She knows Alice and she was invited, so I don't think I'll need a ride, but thank you for offering." The emotion in her words was so sincere that I couldn't help but believe that she was being honest with me.

I dropped my hand, reaching for one of the boxes pressed between my chest and other arm. "Okay, I'll see you at the club then, and I _won't_ take you home afterwards." I joked, happy to hear her laugh.

"Bells!" we heard Charlie yell from the front of the store.

"Sorry, I guess my dad is impatient today." Bella moved to step around me, heading for the cashier's desk.

"Nah, he's just a dad," I said in a low voice, hoping she wouldn't hear it. She didn't seem to and kept walking as I quickly fell in line behind her, watching her amazing curves the whole way.

Lauren stood at the counter, a look of shock clear on her face as I approached. I hadn't seen her since high school, not that I had wanted to, but I knew she'd asked different people about me during those four years.

"Edward Cullen? Wow, I haven't seen you in a while. How long are you back for?" Her voice had turned sugary sweet, and she was twisting a piece of her hair with her finger as she flirted with me. She was so obvious about it that it was hard to miss, and it made me gag a little.

"Oh, hey Lauren. Yeah, I'm just back for Alice's wedding, I'm sure you heard. You coming?" I asked, knowing full well that Alice would never invite Lauren.

"Oh no, um, I didn't get invited, but if you're looking for a date…" She batted her eyelashes at me as she smacked her bubble gum. I looked her over, noticing that she looked older, more worn. Her hair wasn't shiny like it had been in high school. She had dark circles under her eyes, no make up on her face, and for a moment I wondered what might have caused her to look this way.

I reached over and grabbed Bella's hand, twisting my fingers with hers. "Oh no, I already have a date. You remember Bella Swan, don't you?"

Lauren looked at Bella for a moment before realization hit her. Her mouth fell open as she gaped at us in disbelief. "Bella… Oh, of course. How are you?" Her voice turned acidic and cold, as Bella leaned into me.

"I'm fine, how are you Lauren? Working here, I see. That's great; jobs are hard to come by so it's nice you were able to find something that suits you." Bella was sincere, but I could detect a hint of anger in her sweet voice. I hadn't heard it in years, but I could tell by her tone that she was frustrated and quickly loosing her grip on the niceness.

Charlie laughed, looking to the floor and shaking his head at the awkwardness brewing in front of him, and then started for the door. "I'll meet you two love birds outside." His mouth turned up in a smile as he strolled outside. I dropped my boxes on the counter, and then reached for Bella's, setting it along side the others.

"Edward, I can pay for that." Bella stuck out her hand to try and take the box, but I set my hand on hers.

"No, let me. Please." I begged her silently with my eyes and she finally relented. Lauren started ringing up the purchases, realizing what we were buying—condoms and children's cold medicine. "So, what might these be for?"

I quickly spoke up. "The cold medicine if for my dog. Yeah, the vet said because my dog sleeps in bed with me and eats off a plate, she could have human medicine, but only the children's kind since they're shorter, like her."

Lauren nodded in agreement. "Oh, well that makes sense." I stifled a laugh and as she eyed the boxes of condoms, Bella spoke up.

"The condoms are for sex, Lauren. We plan to have a lot of hot, sweaty sex over the next few days, so we're gonna need a lot of these." Bella's voice was doing incredible things to my body and when she smirked at Lauren, I knew I was done for. "We may be back in after the weekend to get more." She turned toward me, running her free hand up and down my chest. "I just can't get enough of him," she whispered as our eyes locked together. My breathing stuttered and instantly I was glad that Charlie had gone outside. The uncomfortable situation that was growing in my pants was not something I ever wanted Charlie to see, especially while I stood next to his daughter and three boxes of condoms.

Lauren huffed as she bagged up our purchases. "That'll be-"

"Here," I said, as I thrust my credit card toward her, my eyes still burning into Bella's. There was a hint of lust there that I hadn't seen before. I couldn't believe how much older she seemed, even though she still looked like the girl I'd dated my entire senior year of high school. She was different, more sure of herself, and I was completely enamored with her.

"Here you go." Lauren handed my card back to me and dropped the bag on the counter.

"Thanks Lauren," I said, finally turning to look at her. She was nothing like my Bella and as I looked closer for a few more seconds, I wasn't sure what I had ever seen in her.

"It was good to see you, Lauren. It was actually very enlightening. I hope you have a nice day." I reached for the bag after shoving my card back into my pocket. Tightening my grasp on Bella's hand, we walked toward the front door, turning left and heading for Charlie's truck. I gave her E.C.'s medicine and kissed her chastely on the cheek before she climbed into the truck and left. I couldn't wait for that evening when I would get to see her again. I just hoped I could convince my mom and sister to play nicely while they had her cornered at the spa.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As we sat at the table in the center of the bar, watching girls dance on some makeshift stage in the corner, I realized my shoulder was killing me. We'd spent two hours at the batting cages, most of which we were challenging teenagers to hitting contests. How I'd let Emmett and Jasper talk me into that I would never know. I was a good batter, but I hadn't played in a while, and my shoulder was all too happy to remind me why I'd stuck with football over the past couple of years.

Nursing a beer, I laughed at my brother as he tried to offer money to the drunk, dancing girls. I was a little surprised when I saw the tables pushed together and the girls climbing on top of them since I knew this bar didn't have dancers, but Emmett trying to get them to strip was the highlight of my night so far. My father sat with my Uncle Tony at the bar, trying his best to ignore our little group.

One small blonde woman offered to give Jasper a lap dance, but after seeing the reaction that Emmett and I had to that idea, he turned her down. I did, however, notice the jerk watch her as she walked away. That kinda stuff wasn't gonna fly with me after the wedding, and I planned to make sure Jasper knew it. A little after ten, Emmett's phone started buzzing and he grabbed at it.

"Hey, Rosie says the girls are over at the club. You guys ready to go? I needs to see my woman! Especially after all these strippers here tonight."

"Emmett," I said, "you do realize those are just drunk girls, right? There aren't any strippers here." I laughed as he looked at me, a pout forming on his face.

"Edward, every girl is a stripper; you just gotta know how to get her started. Man, no wonder you're so screwed up!" He laughed as he stood, wobbling, from his chair and started toward my dad. I shook my head, hoping for his sake that he was drunk and didn't really think like that.

When I looked at Jasper, I saw his eyes focused on something across the room. Following his gaze, I saw the tiny blonde girl from earlier sitting on top of a table, surrounded by rowdy frat boys. "You think that's true? You think every girl has a stripper somewhere inside of her?" he asked.

I let out a quick breath, "I don't know, maybe. I think that guys just like to _think_ it's true. Well, _hope_ it's true anyway."

He looked at me, "You think Alice ever stripped for anyone else?"

I put my hand on his shoulder, helping him up. "Nope, I'm sure she hasn't. That being said, I really don't want to know what she's done for you, so this conversation needs to stop right here." Jasper nodded in agreement and we walked across the bar to my dad and brother, the other guys in our group already heading out the door.

"I think Jasper's had a bit much to drink. Let's get him to Alice and see what happens," I said, as my father began to laugh.

"Oh boy, this should be interesting," he said as Jasper started to sing some horrible country song, reminding me of the day he'd picked me up at the airport. I quietly laughed as I hoisted him up, helping him out to the car.

The club was one of the nicer ones in Port Angeles. I'd been there lots of times, always leaving with someone very pretty, who always ended up showing exactly how talented she was when it came to sex. I'd never been disappointed with the girls that gathered there. However, tonight was different. I knew I wasn't going to be taking anyone home, unless that Leah girl got drunk, and from the looks of things as we walked in, that wasn't happening.

The girls were all gathered around a few tables, squealing as they saw our group walk across the room. I hung toward the back, slowing down so that I could spot Bella before she saw me. I finally found her sitting at the end of the tables, her head ducked down as she spoke with a girl I didn't know, but assumed to be Leah. When the girl raised her head, laughing at whatever she and Bella were discussing, I could see Sue in her features—she was a very pretty girl, but nothing compared to Bella.

Bella's long, brown hair was down, curling around her shoulders, and the color of it was dark against the bright yellow blouse she was wearing. It reminded me of lemonade, or sunlight. It had buttons down the front and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to undo each one of them slowly, as I stared into her eyes. I was snapped out of my dream by a voice I remembered.

"Oh my heavens, it's Edward Cullen! What in the world are you doing here? I haven't seen you since what, last Thanksgiving?"

I turned to see Wendy, a waitress that I knew extremely well, in the biblical sense. She was older, late twenties or so, and was very knowledgeable when it came to sex. I'd actually learned a few different positions from her. She was by far my favorite waitress here, having always been nice to me, even before we'd started hooking up. She was divorced and had a ten year old daughter who willingly shared her Halloween candy with me one Sunday morning as Wendy made us breakfast. We'd had a long night together, not getting much sleep, and when her daughter came knocking on the bedroom door just after dawn, Wendy shoved me under the covers. I hid there until the coast was clear, sneaking out the window after throwing my clothes on. When I realized I'd forgotten my car keys, I went knocking on the front door as if nothing had happened. Her daughter, Chloe, was smart and most likely knew why I was there, but she didn't seem to mind as she happily chatted on about her friends and their trick or treating adventures a few nights before.

"Wendy, how are you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice down so that Bella wouldn't overhear anything. I didn't want to give Wendy the wrong idea, but I didn't want to ignore her either. She was a friend and I was comfortable with her, though I worried that Bella might get the wrong impression from our interaction if she were to see us together.

She skipped over to me, throwing her arms around me and planting her lips on my cheek. "I'm so happy to see you, I missed my boy!" She pulled back and smiled at me sweetly.

"I missed you too. Sorry I haven't stopped in sooner. I'm here with my sister, and she's getting married tomorrow." I pointed toward the tables where my family and friends were sitting, none of them seeming to have noticed that I wasn't there.

Wendy smirked at me. "Oh, you're _the_ Edward. I get it." She laughed, reaching up to ruffle my hair.

"What? What are you talking about?"

She pursed her lips together, shaking her head. "I've been helping those girls for the last hour and all I've heard any of them talk about is 'When Edward gets here this' and 'When Edward gets here that.' That brunette at the end seems to have the hot's for you or something. Those other girls have been teasing her something fierce."

I watched Bella as Wendy spoke, noticing the way she had isolated herself from the group, sitting only with Leah. Turning to address Wendy, my gaze crossed with Leah's, who was staring me down as I stood with Wendy's arm still around me. I backed up a bit, looking to the floor.

"Yeah, we kinda have a history," I said, nervous that Leah might say something to Bella before I had the chance to get over to the tables.

"Well I figured that out on my own. The question is, do you also have a future or am I going to have someone to warm up my bed tonight? You look like you could use some playtime." She smiled her teasing smile, but I knew her well enough to know that she was serious; she clearly wanted to know if I was available.

I looked back at Bella just in time to see her quickly look away from me, down at the napkin she was holding on her lap. "I think I'm booked up, Wendy, but thanks for the offer. Nobody plays like you do," I said in a snarky tone. Bella was now at the forefront of my mind, though I couldn't help remembering the past. I was trying to put it behind me, trying to move on and be a better man for my family, but it was like turning off a switch that had been stuck in the on position for too long. It was hard to do, no matter how much I wanted to. I realized as I stood there joking with Wendy that my actions and words could be misconstrued, and it turned my stomach to think of Bella being hurt by me in any way. I had to try harder; I had to change things for good.

She batted her eyelashes at me, "Oh Edward, you say the nicest things to me." She laughed as she pushed me toward my group. "Go get her. I saw that big guy in the corner watching her earlier. You might have some competition."

Glancing around, I saw a group of guys playing darts in the corner, the tallest one of them with his eyes fixed solely on Bella. I muttered a 'thanks' back to Wendy as I stepped away from her. "Don't worry, I'll spit in his drink or something for you," she called out to me, laughing as I shook my head. I went largely unnoticed as I approached the tables, making my way over to Bella.

"Hey, how are things?" I asked her.

She looked up at me, raising her hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Good, we've been having fun." She turned, holding her hand out toward Leah. "Edward, this Leah, Sue's daughter. Leah, this is Edward."

Leah looked at me, her eyes traveling up and down my body, assessing me before she finally let out a sigh. "Hi Edward, nice to finally meet you."

I smiled my friendliest smile at her. "Nice to meet you too. I met your mom, she seems great."

Leah smiled a little at that. "Oh yeah, she is. Thanks."

I placed my hand on the back of Bella's chair, skimming the fabric of her shirt as I did. "Is everything okay? My friend Wendy, the waitress, said everyone's been giving you a hard time."

A sad smile grew on Bella's face. "Yeah, it's been kinda rough, but that's okay. I deserve it. I deserve a lot worse, actually." Leah stood from her chair, leaving the only empty chair on the end of the tables. Bella shot her a look of panic, as if she was afraid to be left on her own with me and my family.

"I'm gonna go play some pool, wanna join Bells?" Leah asked.

Bella jumped up from her chair. "Sure, I'd love to."

The two girls hurried over to an empty table and Leah racked up the balls as Bella stood silently by, fiddling with her cue stick. I sat down in her chair and watched as she and Leah tried to sink the balls into the pockets. They were horrible at the game, but the smile on Bella's face and the laugh that she made when she hit the wrong ball made up for it. I watched my family all interacting together, some of them sneaking peaks at Bella and at me every so often. Finally, my mother came to stand next to me.

"She's been having a good time," she said.

"Yeah, looked like it. I heard otherwise though. What did you guys say to her?" I asked, my tone laced with anger. "I told you to leave her alone, not to bother her about any of this."

"Nothing honey, really. No one has mentioned a word about E.C., though I think she knows that we most likely know, we just aren't saying anything."

"She knows, I told her that I'd talk to you guys. Look, I told you before, she's afraid that you'll hate her. Mom, you just have to be careful until I can get all this ironed out." I looked at my mother, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"Edward, I hope you told her that would never happen." I nodded, keeping my words to myself.

"She's a wonderful girl. Will you ask her if she and E.C. would like to come over tomorrow morning? We really don't have anything for the wedding until the afternoon and we'd love to see them both. I think Alice wants to ask her if E.C. can be the ring bearer. Jasper's little cousin, or nephew, or whatever, seems to be coming down with a little case of stage fright. You saw him at the rehearsal."

I laughed, "Yeah, that wasn't good. The whole point is to be happy and I don't think screaming while your mother drags you down the aisle really says that."

"No, I'd think not," my mother said with a giggle.

"Yeah, I'll talk to her and see what I can do." She patted my shoulder, giving me a half hug, before turning and walking back to my father. I sat watching Bella for a few more minutes, noticing that the guys who were playing darts were watching her as well. My breath hitched every time she bent over, knowing that I wasn't the only one getting a great look at her bra. Seriously, didn't she check that before she left the house? What was she thinking walking around like that? Just as I was about to get up and go over to her, Wendy walked up behind me.

"Hey, I brought you something," she said as she slid a bowl onto the table in front of me.

I looked down, seeing a bowl full of M&M's. "Sorry, it's the only candy we have. I remember how much you like it, hope it'll do."

I turned to her, "Thanks, I can't believe you remembered that."

"Of course I do," she said, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Why don't you take it over to her, maybe it'll help?" She gave me a quick peck on the cheek then hurried over toward Emmett and Jasper with the drinks they'd ordered.

Bella was looking at me when I turned my head away from Wendy and my family, and the look on her face wasn't good. I grabbed the bowl and jumped down from my chair, walking toward the pool tables.

"I got something for you," I said, setting the bowl down on the edge of the table.

Bella smiled a little, "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Hey Bells," Leah said, "I'm gonna head to the ladies room and then we can take off, if you're ready." Bella nodded, walking over to put her cue stick away.

"You want some help lining up your shot?" I asked. The idea of getting to hold her, in whatever way that might be, was exhilarating and my skin pricked with anticipation as she turned to look back at me.

Her eyes flickered to mine. "You know how to play?"

"Yeah, of course. Come here." She came to stand next to me, the stick in her hand. "Alright, so were you solids or stripes?" I asked.

"Was I what?" she said, a look of total confusion on her face.

"Where you hitting the solid colored balls or the striped balls?" I asked, trying to hide a laugh.

"Oh, um, we were just hitting whatever we could. Are we supposed to pick one?"

I nodded, "Well that's the general idea, yeah."

She let out a small laugh. "I know you use the white ball to hit the others and the black one is supposed to go in last, right?"

"Yeah, something like that. Here, bend over, let me show how to hold the stick and line this up." She bent down onto the table, holding the stick with her hands. I bent down behind her, pressing my body gently against hers. Wrapping my right arm around her waist, I placed my hand over hers on the stick, my left hand going onto the table where hers was resting. She reached up with her left hand, pulling her hair over her right shoulder so that my mouth was just inches away from her ear and neck. I could smell her hair as I leaned in closer and fought the urge to kiss her, remembering how much she always liked it when I when I nibbled at the delicate flesh there. I had dreamed of being this close to her for four years, and now that I was, I couldn't remember what I was supposed to be doing.

We stood there for a minute before Bella finally spoke. "So, are you gonna show me how to do this or what?" she teased.

I cleared my throat, "Yeah, sorry. Okay, so let's pretend you're stripes, okay? See the number thirteen ball right there? It's got the orange stripe on it?" She nodded. "Okay, we're gonna want to line up the white ball with that thirteen ball. We need to get the stick to a spot where we're gonna get a straight shot. Can you see it?"

"Yeah," she breathed, her voice low. I pulled myself closer to her, hugging her body as she shifted her weight a bit, pushing her butt against my hips. My mind started screaming at me to get away before a certain launch sequence was activated, but it was too late.

"What do I do now, Edward? Am I holding the stick right?"

I gulped, "Uh huh."

"And now what, do I tighten my grip on it?"

"Yeah, that's good." _Where had she learned to talk like this?_

She tilted her head a little more towards me, her ear coming into contact with my cheek. "And do I wrap my other hand around the end of the stick like this?" she asked as the fingers on her left hand moved to hook over the end of the cue stick.

"You got it," I said in a voice no louder than a whisper.

Her voice got even quieter, just a little louder than a whisper. "Do I do it like this?" she asked as she pushed the stick back and forth with her arm.

_Oh, holy mother of…_ I couldn't think straight, simply nodding a little to let her know she was doing it right.

"What about the balls? Am I ready to play with them now?" she asked, as she slowly pushed her hips against mine, rubbing them against my cock that was harder than steel by this point.

"Oh yeah, you're ready."

She pulled back the stick quickly, then pushed it forward, hitting the cue ball and sending it flying into the orange striped ball. They hit with a smack and the thirteen ball rolled into the corner pocket. She dropped the stick, jumping up from the table and spinning around to face me.

"I did it! I did it!" she yelled as she jumped up and down, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me to her. She was so happy and carefree in that moment and I couldn't think of a time in the past four years when I had been more turned on. She slowly pulled away from me, looking up into my eyes as she bit her bottom lip.

"Thank you, Edward. That was really fun. Maybe we can come back here next week and you can show me some more stuff about this." Her eyes were alive with happiness and I couldn't have denied her anything in that moment.

"Of course, we can come back anytime you want. I come here all the time, it'll be fun." The smile quickly dropped from her face. She stepped away and I immediately felt the loss.

"Oh, you come here a lot?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I like to play pool and they're really nice here."

Looking around the room, my eyes lingering at the bar for a few moments, meeting with Wendy's as she stood watching us. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella glance up, following my gaze. "Oh, I see," she said, quickly turning around and waving to Leah who was talking to a couple of the dart guys.

I felt her sudden movement away from me and reached out to stop her. "Hey, what? Where are you going?" I asked, confused at her sudden change of moods.

"I need to get home, Leah was ready to go. I'll just see you tomorrow." She was hurrying to get a way for some reason and when I looked back at the bar I was met with Wendy's gaze. She shrugged her shoulders to me, an apologetic look on her face. Bella and Leah were headed toward the door and I ran to catch up with them.

"Bella, wait, let me explain. It's not what you're thinking."

"It's fine, Edward, no worries," she said, even though I could hear in her voice that things were definitely _not_ fine.

"Wendy's my friend, that's it. There's nothing to worry about, honestly. I've hung out with her a few times, but that's all." Bella finally stopped at a car, Leah climbing in the driver's side. I reached out, taking her forearm in my hand. "Please, it's nothing. I promise."

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "Do you mean it? I saw how she was looking at you, I just…"

"I promise, nothing is going on." I rubbed her arm with my hand, bringing my other hand up to cup her cheek. "You're all I think about, the only girl I want. Trust me, it's just you." Her eyes continued to search mine, and I could see the desire to trust me in them, but she still didn't.

"Can I see you tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"What? Tomorrow is the wedding; I don't think I'll have any time—"

"In the morning, I'll come by in the morning. I'd really like to meet E.C. and so would my family. I think Alice is hoping maybe he'll be in the wedding."

"Oh, um…I guess so," she said as she stumbled through her words.

"And if it's not too much trouble, I'd really like to get that family picture of the three of us tomorrow evening. There's going to be a photographer there and everything, it would only take a few minutes."

Her eyes searched mine. "Yeah?"

My lips turned up in a smile. "Yeah."

"Okay, um what time?"

"How about nine? Is that too early? Does that give you enough to get ready and get E.C. ready?" I asked, not having any idea how long it took to get a three year old presentable to go out in public.

"It's fine, we'll be ready."

I leaned closer to her, letting my lips brush against hers ever so softly. Pulling away, I rested my forehead against hers, only to have her bring her hands up to my neck and pull me back to her, our lips crashing into each other. Her mouth soon opened and I felt her tongue on my lips, her lips sucking mine into her mouth. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her with all I had, pulling her face closer to mine.

After a few moments, I heard a throat clear and realized that Leah was still sitting in the car, most likely able to see our bodies pressing against each other, hearing the sounds we were making. Bella pulled back, her breathing heavy.

"I'll see you in the morning," she said, looking deep into my eyes.

"Morning it is."

She let go of me, reaching to open the door. As she climbed in, I looked over at Leah. "Please be careful." She smiled back at me, nodding. I clicked the door shut and stood silently in the parking lot, watching as they pulled away. When the red taillights faded in the distance, I walked back into the club, watching my family as they sat together laughing and enjoying each other. My mother looked back toward me, a smile growing on her face as I nodded to her. As I got closer I saw her eyes filled with tears.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Tomorrow I'm finally going to be a grandma for real."

I reached out, wrapping my arm around her, as she leaned into my side. I had a wonderful family and I couldn't wait for them to meet my son.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Hmmmm, interesting. :D Looks like Edward's making some changes…or is he? :D**

**I don't have my regular rec's this time, instead I would LOVE for you all to go over and read some of the entries for the contest I'm co-hosting with the lovely **_**JandMsmommy**_**. You have until Sunday, April 18****th**** to enter and then voting goes from April 19****th**** through April 24****th****, with winners announced on April 25****th****. We've got some HOT entries, so hurry over and read, then make sure to come back and vote. :)**

**http://publiclovincontest().()blogspot().()com()/()p()/()nominations().()html**

**Next, I wrote a little entry for the Black Balloon Contest. Thanks to all of you that read it, your words and reviews made me cry. A lot. :) I didn't make the top 20, but some incredible stories did. Go over and read and then vote for your favorite. You'll be glad you did!! Voting ends April 16****th****, so hurry up!!**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/u/2247006/Black_Balloon_Contest**

**Finally, I need some advice. The Fandom Gives Back is an amazing charity author auction that takes places here in the fandom. Authors offer up their writing skills and you can buy them and their work. So, it was suggested that I offer myself up to the highest bidders, but I'm nervous. Would anyone actually WANT me? :D I don't know that anyone would really be interested in my stuff, so let me know what you think. Check out the site and see what it's all about and then tell me if you think you'd be willing to shell out money for a good cause…and for my words. Be honest, I really don't know what to do. :D**

**http://www().()thefandomgivesback().()com/**

**As always, remove the ()'s when you plug those addresses in. :) **

**Thank you, as always, for being so wonderful to me. It means more than you could know. Come play with me on Twitter, because it's fun, and check out the blogs listed on my profile. PIC is amazing, I love all the girls there, and I have a few fun things on my blog too. Oh, and Twilighted…it's always a good time. There are links to all of those on my profile.**

**Now, leave me some love and then get to reading. Lots of awesome contest entries are awaiting you!! :)**


	10. Chapter 10 With Arms Wide Open

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a package of gummi worms that I do not intend to share with my children. Come on, I gotta keep **_**something**_** for myself! And I have a bad feeling that once I get Robert Pattinson, I'm not gonna be able to hide him for long. Unless he's tied up in my bedroom… :D **

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She really is a beta-ing machine and whipped this baby out for me today while she was supposed to be working. I won't tell if you won't…**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** I thought of them all last night as I watched Lost, drooling over Dr. Jack, and was glad that I have them for more than five more episodes. I also may need their support after that final episode. Jack with that longer hair and the gray at his temples…I think he may soon be back on the list of my top three pretend boyfriends. Look out Jason Behr…your days may be numbered.**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. You girls make me happy. **_**UA**_** says that this is her favorite chapter so far, so that's pretty exciting, right? I love you girls!**

**It's time for some father/son bonding time. Hope you enjoy it. :)**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 10 – With Arms Wide Open

_Well I just heard the news today  
It seems my life is going to change  
I closed my eyes, begin to pray  
Then tears of joy stream down my face  
_

_With arms wide open  
__Under the sunlight  
__Welcome to this place  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open_

_Well I don't know if I'm ready  
To be the man I have to be  
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side  
We stand in awe, we've created life_

"With Arms Wide Open" by Creed

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I didn't sleep well, tossing and turning all night. A lot of things kept running through my mind and when I finally did fall asleep, the nightmares came. In my dreams, Bella and I were together and happy, our lives picking up right where they had left off four years ago.

We were on a beach, playing with E.C. and when I turned to toss the football to him, I saw a set of bleachers in the distance. The crowd was cheering and as I started to listen to their chants, I realized they were cheering for me. Shock flowed through me when I heard them moaning, saying things that had only ever been said to me while in the throws of passion. I raced toward E.C. to cover his ears, but caught Bella's eyes, seeing tears on her face as she listened. The crowd consisted of women, all of whom were dressed in revealing clothing, and Bella shook her head in disbelief. I picked up E.C. and ran in her direction, but she stepped away.

No matter how hard and fast I ran, I couldn't catch up with her as she slowly backed away from me. I looked down to see my son's face, and stopped dead in my tracks as his features blurred together, erasing the brown eyes I loved so much. As his face reshaped, I gasped at the bright blue eyes there, the thin pink lips, the blonde color that was seeping into the bronze hair already there.

I felt a hand on my arm and when I looked up, I saw a woman. I didn't recognize her, but she was shaking me, repeating over and over again that this was our child; I was the father of _her _baby. When I looked up, I was surrounded by countless women holding children, all claiming the same thing—I was the father of their children. I searched for Bella, but she was gone. I called out her name, but there was no way to hear me over the screaming women in the bleachers and the crying babies all around me. As the child in my arms started to squirm, I dropped it. Instead of falling to the ground, it evaporated into smoke, blowing away in the breeze. That's when the laughter started. People were pointing at me, laughing and heckling. I turned to run, but there was no where to go. I was alone, yet surrounded.

My eyes flew open, my heart beating faster than if I had just played a full four quarters of football. I was lying in my darkened room, trying to gather my composure while processing what, exactly, my dream meant. I knew it was about all the things I was keeping from Bella. I had to find a way to tell her about my past, about seeing her in Miami and about talking to Charlie. I knew I couldn't do it today, but I needed to do it soon. She would most likely be angry with me, but I hoped that she would be able to forgive me. I thought that maybe if I proved myself to her, showed her that I was serious about our future together, she would be able to move past it all and still love me.

More importantly, I needed to have a relationship with my son.

Now that I knew he existed, I would never be the same. I wanted to be his father and I wanted to have an active role in his life, regardless of what happened between Bella and me. The image of him quickly flooded my mind and I remembered that I was going to see him today. I was going to be able to talk to him, to hold him, to really be a father for the very first time. Excitement built within me and I rushed to get dressed, not wanting to miss any time I had with him.

Entering the kitchen a little after eight, I saw my mother happily moving about the room. She was humming softly and piling ingredients on the counter. I hadn't seen anyone else in the house yet, and there was no noise, which was strange. I pulled out a bar stool and sat down, smiling when she looked over to me.

"Hey Mom, whatcha doin'?"

She sighed, "Well, I thought I'd make breakfast for my family today. You hungry?" I nodded, asking if I could help out.

"Sure, why don't you get the eggs out? You can beat them together for the omelets. Then you can slice up some of these vegetables for me. What do you think Bella and E.C. will want? I was hoping they'd eat with us."

"Mom, they won't even be here for like two hours. The food will be cold by then," I said. My mother continued to fidget, piling more food on the counter than even Emmett would be able to eat. She looked nervous and I wondered about Bella's mood that morning, knowing what was ahead for her and E.C. later in the day.

She laughed, "Oh don't worry, I'll be cooking all morning. Emmett is here, remember? And Rosalie might look like a supermodel, but she's eating for two. I think she almost ate as much as Emmett did for lunch yesterday. I don't know where she puts it. That baby must be taking more than its fair share."

"Well, she is Emmett's daughter."

My mother rolled her eyes. "Oh honey, don't talk like that in front of Rose. She seems to think their little angel is going to be a ballerina or gymnast or something. I hate to spoil her dreams and tell her that's probably never going to happen. Sweet, delusional girl."

We laughed as we continued to move around the kitchen, preparing the meal. "Wouldn't it be funny if they had one of those roly poly babies with the chubby rolls all over her?" I joked.

"Edward! How could you say such a thing? That's not a very nice thing to think for your niece."

I looked at her, my mouth open in pretend astonishment. "What? I think those babies are cute. And come on Mom, you know it could totally happen. I've seen Emmett's baby pictures, and he was not thin, I'll say that much."

She slowed her stirring and looked up at me, a smirk growing on her face. "Well, that's true. Besides, maybe she could be the first female tackle in the NFL. You never know."

I burst into laughter at the thought of that, imagining a proud Emmett screaming in the stands as Rosalie cried from embarrassment, clinging to a tutu and tiara that would never be worn by their daughter. I knew that Rose would love that little girl no matter what, but I secretly loved the idea of her little plan for the baby being completely destroyed.

A little before nine, I kissed my mom goodbye, telling her that we'd be back soon, and headed to Charlie's house.

Pulling into the driveway, I tensed up, butterflies taking over my stomach. The house was quiet, but I knew they were there and waiting for me. After knocking on the door, I listened closely for footsteps. When they did finally come, they were soft and light—Bella. She opened the door, looking more beautiful than the last time I'd seen her. Her hair was damp and she didn't have any make up on, and yet I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi. You look great."

She blushed, looking down to the ground. "I look horrible. Alice said I couldn't do anything as far as make up or hair went. She wants a clean palette to work with. Sorry."

"Well, I like seeing you this way. You look beautiful." I watched her as her eyes traveled up my body, finally meeting mine. She smiled, her teeth pressing into her bottom lip, as she stepped back and held the door open so that I could enter the house.

"My mom was hoping you and E.C. would want to have breakfast with us. Have you eaten yet?" I asked.

"Um, no we didn't eat. Alice called earlier and said she thought that might be the plan. I'm also supposed to bring my dress and everything else so we can just get ready at your parents' house and then not have to come back here before the wedding." She started walking toward the kitchen, and I followed, glancing into the living room as we passed. Suddenly Bella paused and turned around to face me. The look on her face was one of worry and hesitation, yet she seemed relieved too.

"He knows about you. I mean, he's seen your pictures and all, and he knows you're coming today, but I don't know how he'll react. So, if it's not good, if he's quiet or shy or something, just give him some time, okay? He loves you, he wants to see you." She reached out and took my hand as I nodded in response to her. She let out a deep breath, "Okay, come on."

She pulled me into the kitchen. Stepping through the doorway, I looked to my right and saw, sitting at the kitchen table, my son. He was seated on a wooden chair with a booster seat underneath him, hunched over as he concentrated on something. He had a coloring book and crayons spread out on the table in front of him, and the tip of his little tongue stuck out of his mouth, pressed firmly against his upper lip and he concentrated on his picture.

My breath caught in my throat. He was beautiful and I fought the urge to grab him, to hug him until my arms ached. I stood watching him for a few moments, taking in the sight of him, as he continued to color his book. His little fingers were wrapped around a red crayon and I could see his legs swinging back and forth under the table. A quiet laugh broke from my throat and he looked up, his eyes catching mine as he slowed his crayon strokes.

"Baby," Bella said softly, "remember I told you someone was coming to see you today?"

E.C. looked over to Bella, nodding to her.

"Well, this is Edward, he's my friend and he wants to meet you." She reached over, laying her hand on my arm as E.C. shifted his gaze back to me.

"Hi," I said. All the things I had planned to say to him quickly left my head. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to tell him that I'd dreamt of him. I wanted to tell him I had dreams _for_ him. Mostly, I wanted to tell him who I was and that I'd been waiting for him, that until I had fallen in love with his mother—until we'd created him—my life hadn't truly begun. I had no purpose in the world without them, and I wanted him to know that. As I watched him, there was nothing but awe and wonder. I was speechless. The only other person who had ever left me that way was Bella, and I took comfort in that fact.

"Hello." E.C. lay down his crayon and sat back in the chair.

"What are you coloring?" I asked. His eyes fell to the table as his hands reached out to pick up his book. He looked happy, content, and completely caught up in his picture. I wondered if he was coloring it for someone in particular, and I hoped that maybe Bella would let me take a page or two to keep, so that I could have something of his.

"It's Mickey Mouse. See? He has a dog, but I don't have a dog." The corners of my mouth turned up in a smile as his sweet voice floated through the room.

"Wow, he's pretty lucky. You know, I don't even have a dog. Maybe some day I will."

"You like dogs?" he asked.

"Yeah, who doesn't?" I laughed.

Bella stood quietly by as I spoke with my son for the first time. She moved her hand from my arm to my back, urging me forward. "Why don't you sit down? I'll go get my things ready and then we can go."

"You sure?" I asked, not knowing if she really trusted me enough to leave me alone with E.C.

"Of course I'm sure, sit down. Talk to him." I reached out and grabbed the back of the chair, pulling it out before stepping around it to take a seat. Bella stood behind me, her hands on my shoulders as E.C. went back to coloring.

"E.C., I'm gonna go upstairs for a few minutes. Can you sit here and talk to Edward while I get ready to go?" she asked him.

He stared intently at his paper and nodded, "Okay Momma." Feeling her grip on my shoulders loosen, I raised my hand and placed it on top of hers, keeping her with me as I turned to look at her.

"What do I say?" I whispered, unsure of what to talk to E.C. about. I didn't know his likes or dislikes and I really didn't want to start off on the wrong foot. She smiled a sweet smile back at me, her eyes glistening as tears formed in them.

"Anything. Just say anything to him. He'll love it, I promise." She bent her head, running her nose along my hairline before kissing me on the temple. Her breath hitched and she spun around, rushing from the kitchen. I sat stunned for a moment, wondering what kind of emotions were running through her. I wondered if she was scared, never having had to share him with someone in this way before. When I looked back at E.C., I saw him looking at me.

"Was Momma crying?" he asked, his little brow furrowed in concern. I wasn't sure what to say to him, especially seeing that he was so worried about Bella.

"Well, just a little bit. I think she was just happy. Some moms cry when they're happy."

"Oh," he said quietly, clearly not convinced by my words.

"My mom cries sometimes when she's really happy. Sometimes girls are kinda funny that way."

"My momma only cries at night time or sometimes when I watch my football games." He began coloring again, picking up a green crayon and working on the grass in the picture. My mind wandered to thoughts of why Bella would be crying at night or during football games. I would have to make sure and dig a little deeper on that later, but for the moment, I wanted to bond with my son.

"Do you like to watch football?" I asked.

"Yeah. I have a football shirt, but Gramma Sue took it. She said it's dirty, she gotta wash it."

I smiled at that. "Yeah, we gotta keep our jerseys clean, don't we?"

He raised his eyes to meet mine. "You gotta football shirt too?"

"Yeah, I do. I have a couple of them, and they even have my name on the back."

"Wow, me too!" he said, excitement shining in his eyes.

"It does huh? That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, it's my daddy's name, but it's my name too." My heart stuttered—had Bella given him my name? I knew his name was Edward, but jerseys only carried last names. Had she given him the last name Cullen? It was something I hadn't really thought about before, but now that he'd mentioned it, I was dying to know.

"So, what does your jersey say?" I asked, hoping he would offer up more information.

"Cullen. My name is E.C. Cullen." My eyes began to prick and I gasped for air, trying to maintain my composure so that I wouldn't startle him. I was overjoyed, wanting to shout to the world that I had a son, that he had my name. Pride began to grow from deep within me and it was all I could do to stay seated and not run to find Bella—profess my undying love and gratitude to her for giving me a son. She had given me the greatest gift possible and I couldn't imagine ever feeling anything but devotion to, and love for, her.

"You're name is E.C. Cullen? Wow, I really like that name." I grinned at him as he smiled widely back to me.

"Yeah, Momma says that Daddy has to be on the TV right now, but when he's done, I'm gonna go see him. You think he has a dog?" he asked as my heart began to swell with even more love both for the little boy in front of me and for the girl upstairs who really had told him about me.

I shook my head, "I don't know, not everyone is lucky enough to have a dog."

"How come you came to see me today?" he asked, surprising me and leaving me unsure of how to reply.

"Well," I said, "your mom told me what a good boy you were, and I wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah, that's okay. I'm a good boy, I help Momma." He picked up a blue crayon once he was done coloring the grass and began coloring the sky in the picture.

"That's good, I'm sure she appreciates that you help her so much."

"Yeah, I help Grappa Charlie too. We went to the store and I helped buy groceries."

"Wow, that's great."

"He got me a treat. I got worms, you like worms?" he asked, looking back up at me again.

"Well, knowing your grandpa, I hope he didn't buy you real worms 'cause those would taste yucky. Did you get gummy worms?"

He started to laugh, his head falling back. "That's gross, silly! No one eats real worms!" I started to laugh along with him, and before I knew it, all the tension I'd felt earlier was gone and a quiet, ease settled over me. This was how it was supposed to be, just me and my son spending time together. I wanted to read him a story, play catch with him or even take him fishing, but in that moment I couldn't be bothered to do anything other than sit and watch my son laugh. His little lips curled up into a breathtaking smile as his hands rose to cover his mouth in an effort to hide his giggling.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Real worms are only for fish to eat, huh?" I asked.

His laughter began to calm a bit as he answered. "And birds. Birds like worms, too."

"Hmm, yep, and birds." I nodded in agreement, excited at how smart he was.

"Hey, you wanna see something?" he asked before he scooted off of his seat and scurried past me and into the hallway. I heard his little footsteps on the floor as he ran away from me. Just as I thought about going to follow him, he came running back into the room, a very familiar picture clutched in his hand.

"Look, here's my daddy," he said as he thrust his picture of me toward my face. I reached out with my hand and took hold of it, again marveling at the fact that a little picture of me could mean so much to him. I looked closer at the picture, realizing that it was one from my sophomore year in college, when I had started the season as backup quarterback. I looked so different in the picture, my hair shorter and my face so much more tan after being outside practicing all summer. I had wondered how E.C. didn't recognize me immediately, but after looking closer at the man that he knew as his father, it was no wonder. The empty look in my eyes combined with my youthful face at the time told me all I needed to know—I had changed, I was different now.

"Wow, your dad's a football player?"

"Yep, he's a quarterback. He throws the ball. See, he has hair like me." He reached across to the picture, jabbing a pudgy finger toward my image and the hair on my head.

"Yeah, he sure does." I sighed, happy that he seemed so interested in me.

"Hey, you got hair like me too," he said, looking up at my hair, the scowl from earlier returning to his face. I swallowed roughly, nodding as no words were able to come from my mouth. His big brown eyes scrutinized me for a moment, taking in my features and everything about me.

"Momma gots a green ring like your eyes."

I nodded.

"Momma said I got a face like my daddy."

I nodded.

"Momma said my hair's like my daddy's." His words were growing quieter with each statement.

I nodded.

"Momma said I was gonna see my daddy today."

I nodded, my eyes misting up.

"You're my daddy, huh?" he asked, as he stood watching me closely.

I nodded.

"Are you done being on the TV now, Daddy?"

I nodded, still unable to speak.

"Are you comin' to see me now?"

I nodded.

"Can we play ball?"

I smiled and nodded, finally managing one simple word. "Yes."

He stood still for a minute, still looking me over. He stepped closer to me, his voice growing quieter still. "Do you love Momma?"

I nodded, "Yes, I do."

"She loves you. Do you love me, too?"

Firmness rang through my voice as I spoke. "Yes, I do." A tear slid down my cheek, and I reached up to wipe it away.

"Are you crying 'cause you're happy?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm very happy."

He took another step closer to me, "Good, me too."

I set the picture down on the table, scooting my chair back a bit. "Would it be okay if I hugged you?" I asked, the urge to pull him to me so overwhelming that I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Okay," he whispered. I reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him up and to my chest. I buried my face in his little neck, breathing him in, as his arms tightened around my neck. I felt hot, wet tears falling from my eyes onto his clothes and I didn't care. Finally, I had my son with me and in that moment, there was nothing more that I had ever wanted.

"I love you E.C." I said in a muffled voice. Though his face was tucked into my neck, I heard his beautiful voice more clearly than I'd ever heard anything else before.

"I love you too, Daddy."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BPOV

Watching Edward load our son into the car was surreal. For so long I had dreamed of being like this, a family, and now here it was right in front of me and I couldn't quite believe it. I had stood in the kitchen doorway listening to them talk, Edward professing his love for both me and our son. My heart swelled at his words and I wondered if everything could really be this easy, if I had worried for nothing.

We drove quietly to his parent's house, E.C. sitting in the back seat, commenting on everything we passed. I saw a smile dance across Edward's lips multiple times and wondered if he would still be smiling like that after 3 or 4 hours trapped in the car with E.C.'s non stop chattering. I knew what my little boy was capable of.

I had never felt the type of anxious feelings I'd been holding back all day. I'd never had to share my son with anyone else like this before. I was nervous, scared of what Edward might do. In the back of my mind I wondered if this was all just a game, a ruse that he had concocted to get back at me for leaving him. I didn't regret my decision, though it had been the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life. I knew it was the best thing for Edward, and for me, even if it hurt us both. We had a lot of time to make up for and I was excited at the thought of doing that.

Edward's house looked a lot like it had four years before, the circular driveway still welcoming me, drawing me in toward the large front doors. It was a beautiful home and I remembered the first time I'd ever been there, the day I met Edward. It had been the best day of my life, smack dab in the middle of the worst week of my life. Being new was never good, but when I looked at Edward and saw the life and energy in his eyes, all the crap from the week before just vanished; I was home. I knew at that moment that this was a house I would come back to again and again. Little did I know that soon I would say goodbye to it and the people that lived within its walls, forcing myself to accept the fact that I would most likely never see it, or them, again.

My heart was broken as I walked away from Edward that day, or more like crawled away from him. I managed to drive my truck down the street and around the corner, out of view of his house, before I had to pull over, the sobs shaking my body so badly that I couldn't see straight. I cried for an hour, wanting desperately to turn around and go back, to tell him I lied and that I was pregnant, but when I looked at my finger, at _his_ ring, I knew I couldn't deny him everything that he had worked for. I loved him too much.

He looked at me as he turned off the car, eagerness clear in his eyes. I prayed the fear that had seized me didn't show on my face, as I tried to smile at him and reassure him that I was okay with things. I'd wondered about this day for four years—wondered if Edward's family would accept me back into their fold. Wondered if they would accept E.C. and love him the same way I did. I prayed they would because I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with it if they didn't. The unknown was somewhat comforting because in it, I could dream. I could hope for things I wanted and pretend that life was wonderful.

Reality was a very different thing, and even though it could all turn out perfectly, I was smart enough to know that it could also, just as easily, become my worst nightmare. As I sat in the seat looking at Edward, I came to terms with the fact that within the next few minutes, I would know one way or another what reality held for me and for my son.

Edward was out his door and around to mine in a flash, holding out his hand for me to take, as he helped me stand. He placed a kiss on my forehead and then closed the door, reaching toward the back door. E.C. started talking again about something to do with flowers. He must have seen the flowers in the planters along the front of the house. He loved flowers, always enthralled by our neighbor in Miami, Mrs. Cope, who worked in her flower gardens every day. He was entranced by her bright pink gloves and giggled every time he saw her wearing them. He knew that meant she would be digging in the dirt, which was something he loved to do.

I stood next to the car with E.C. as Edward got my bags out of the trunk. Just as we started for the house, E.C. turned around and ran back to the car. He started pulling on the door handle furiously, yelling that he needed something. I looked to Edward, knowing the doors were locked, wondering if he'd let me have his keys. His hands were full as he looked back at me, clearly thinking the same thing I was.

"You can open the door with the code, just push it in on the keypad," he said.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled, embarrassed about something. E.C. squealed again and Edward spoke quietly. "It's Bella, B-E-L-L-A."

I smiled at that, feeling the blush creep up on my face as I turned toward the car and opened the doors. E.C. pulled the door open and then clambered into the backseat, clearly looking for something. He jumped back out with his little picture book clutched in his hand. I smiled at it, not realizing that he had brought it with him.

"What's that?" Edward asked him.

"My family," E.C. said as he ran for the front porch. I closed up the car and hurried back to Edward's side as we made our way up the walk. E.C. waited at the door and when we reached it, Edward smiled down at our son.

"You wanna open the door, E.C.?"

"Okay." He reached up and turned the handle, pushing on the door as it fell open a little. He cautiously poked his head in, looking around, before pulling it back out.

"I smell something," he said, his little nose wrinkling up. "It smells good."

Edward laughed. "Well, my mom made us breakfast. Are you hungry?"

E.C.'s eyes lit up. "Yeah, what'd she make?"

"Well, probably a little bit of everything, but my brother Emmett is here and he eats a lot, so we'd better hurry." With that, E.C. shoved the door open and ran inside, intent on finding the food he so clearly wanted.

I followed Edward into the house, closing the door behind me. He moved to hang my garment bag on the hall tree, and set my duffle bag on the floor next to it. E.C. was standing in the middle of the room, looking in awe as his new surroundings. There were family portraits along one wall, and I was shocked to see a few of E.C. included amongst them. I looked to Edward, confusion clear on my face, hoping he could offer me an answer.

His eyes traveled to the pictures just as E.C. pointed them out and proclaimed that it was him on the wall. "Oh, that. Well, my mom is fast, what can I say?" He looked a little nervous, but I couldn't figure out why. The pictures were obviously copies of ones that I had given my dad, but I hadn't realized that Esme had time to make copies so quickly. She couldn't have known about E.C. for more than twenty-four hours, but as I thought about it more, I realized that Edward was right—she was fast when she wanted something.

We could hear laughter floating through the air, obviously coming from the kitchen, and as I felt my breathing pick up, Edward stepped closer to me, taking my face in his hands gently as he lowered his forehead to mine.

"It's okay, I promise. Please, trust me?" he asked, the tone of his voice begging for me to believe him, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to so badly, but there were just so many things lately that didn't make sense, things that left me with more questions than answers.

I nodded lightly as he moved to press his lips against mine, softly and repeatedly. The way it felt to have him kiss me was incredible. It was something that I had never fully been able to describe, not that words worthy of it even existed. Feeling his breath on my face and his fingers pressing into my skin made me crazy. Each time he did it, I thought for sure I had died and gone to heaven, but then I'd open my eyes and see him. I could never get enough of what he offered so freely to me.

E.C. soon pushed in between our legs, grunting as Edward hesitantly stepped back. "I'm hungry Momma," he said, looking up at us. Edward and I both glanced down, laughing at his angelic little face, his brown eyes wide with curiosity. "Hey Daddy, what are you doin' to Momma?" Edward laughed harder, pulling away from me before bending down and scooping E.C. up into his arms. The look in Edward's eyes almost knocked me off my feet. There was so much joy there, and what E.C. had said slowly sunk in—he called Edward Daddy.

"Come on, let's feed you, buddy." He turned toward the kitchen, reaching his hand out and tangling his fingers with mine. Pulling me along behind him, I caught our reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall, and suddenly my eyes were filled with tears—we were a family. It was something I'd dreamed of, but never believed could happen. I sniffled as I lowered my head. I felt Edward's arm twist and wrap behind me, our fingers still laced together. His lips pressed into my hair as I felt him kiss the top of my head, mumbling quietly, "I love you."

I was happy. I was at peace. I was finally, after all that time…complete.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N: Hope it was all you were dreaming of. :) I think we needed some Bella POV on this. She's seeing things…keep that in mind.**

**Now for rec's. First of all, remember to go and read the entries for the **_**Public Lovin' Contest**_** that I'm co-hosting with the simply ravishing JandMsmommy. Then, VOTE!! There are some really amazing stories entered, so make sure and check them out.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/~publiclovincontest**

**Now for the in-progress stories…**

_**The Ghosts of My Past**_** by TwilightMommyof4girls  
****Summary - Bella has it all, a loving father, a great boyfriend and a promising future. But is all as it seems? Does love make everything right or wrong?  
****I love this story. The first chapter will have you screaming at Edward like never before, but just wait for the second chapter… It's so good.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5858907/1/The_Ghosts_of_My_Past **

_**River Dam**_** by jennyfly  
****Summary - Edward bides his time in Forks counting the days til he can leave the sleepy town forever. But fate halts his departure, and he must learn to see Forks as a home instead of a prison.  
****This story is located over on A Different Forest, so if you're not already registered there, GET REGISTERED and read this. Think of it as WHTM if Bella had told Edward she was pregnant. It's so real and honest…I am in love with it.  
****When you get into the site, look up the storytelling link, find jennyfly in the authors, and then find her story. You won't be sorry.**

**http://www().()differentforest().()com/**

**Now for something complete.**

_**All Cried Out**_** by Hannah81  
****Summary - Bella and Edward are happily married, or so Bella thought. What will happen when Bella discovers that Edward is cheating on her?  
****This story is another one that will have you screaming at Edward, but soon enough your heart will be breaking. It's not long, only 12 chapters, but you will be so taken in by it. The last few chapters will have you crying, they are so heartbreaking. Trust me, you don't want to miss this.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5439719/1/All_Cried_Out**

**As always, take out the ()'s before you look these up. They really are worth a read. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, so come and play. Some of the girls get a bit smutty, just so you know. :D  
****This story has a thread on Twilighted. It's fun, and I post teasers. :P  
****There are links to both of those on my profile, so that makes it easy to find me. :D**

**I'm probably going to be whoring myself out for the Fandom Gives Back auction in a few months, and I'll probably offer up some outtakes from either this story or any of my other stuff, so you might want to start thinking about what you'd want to see. I might even offer an o/s or two. I'm still thinking that one over. :D**

**As always, thanks for reading and leave me some love. :)**


	11. Chapter 11 White Wedding

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a wide assortment of cute, handmade Mother's Day gifts from my children. I knew there was I reason I spent all those hours in labor with them. Well, except for my Little Edward, he was a total of 2 ½ hours, which I will be eternally grateful for. He still gave me a card with a poem, half of which I can't read because his handwriting is atrocious and his spelling is even worse than that. Poor guy…**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**Nobody knows how to use a breast, tit, or boob the way she does. :D Sorry, inside joke. Her story **_**The Resolution**_** just posted it's epi today, and I'm still a little sad. It's the story that brought me to her and I'll always love it. Plus she let me pump lots of angst and heartache into it. Hee-hee! :D**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** They are three of my favorite mother's ever and since it's still Mother's Day for me, I hope they all had a wonderful day.**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. You girls never cease to amaze me with your insight and sharp eyes. I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, and one of them might have gotten a Mother's Day gift that I will, eventually, swipe from her house. It's far too pretty…and it needs to be mine. :D**

**Sorry this is so late! Uhhh, real life kicked my butt for two out of the last three weeks. And the other week was spend on the little writing contest I co-hosted with jandmsmommy, the Public Lovin' Contest. It was great and we were so happy with how it turned out. The stories we got were incredible and we want to thank everyone that entered it. :)**

**Here's the wedding!! Lots more E.C. time (Man, I'm starting to really like that kid!) and even a little smut that I hadn't planned for this. Apparently Edward and Bella have been away from each other a little too long, they're getting' handsy people! Oh goodness…**

* * *

Chapter 11 – White Wedding

_Hey little sister what have you done?  
__Hey little sister who's the only one?  
__I've been away for so long  
__I've been away for so long  
__I let you go for so long  
__It's a nice day to start again  
__It's a nice day for a white wedding  
__It's a nice day to start again._

_There is nothin' fair in this world  
__There is nothin' safe in this world  
__And there's nothin' sure in this world  
__And there's nothin' pure in this world  
__Look for something left in this world  
__Start again_

_Come on  
__It's a nice day for a white wedding  
__It's a nice day to start again._

"White Wedding" by Billy Idol

* * *

"I love you," I whispered to Bella as we rounded the corner and entered the kitchen where my family sat waiting for us. We paused in the doorway, watching them for a moment as they talked and laughed while munching on the food my mom had spent the morning preparing. Both E.C. and Bella inched closer to me a bit, each of them seeming nervous, but I kept my arms wrapped around them, sheltering them.

I cleared my throat, causing five sets of eyes to turn towards us as their mouths suddenly silenced. My mother was the first to move, straightening up from where she had been leaning across the counter, looking at a magazine with Rosalie. "Oh, you're here!" she called excitedly, clapping her hands together and quickly moving from behind the island toward us. I smiled, nodding to her as she slowed to a stop a few feet from us. Her eyes were firmly fixed upon my son and her face was glowing with a smile I'd only ever seen a few times in my life. I knew she was truly happy at that moment.

"Everyone, you know Bella already, but I want you to meet our son. This is E.C." I turned to look at him as I held him tightly with my left arm against my chest, having whisked him up off the floor a few moments earlier. "This is my family, can you say hi to everyone?" I whispered to him.

He looked around the room, taking in all the smiling faces staring back at him. "Hello." His voice was quiet, but firm. He didn't sound scared and I was happy for that.

"E.C., this is my mom," I said. My mother stepped forward, reaching out to touch E.C. on the leg, rubbing her fingers on the bare skin of his knee.

"Hi, E.C. I'm your grandma but you can call me whatever you want to, alright?" she said eagerly, her body practically vibrating with excitement.

"Can I call you Granny?" he asked and my mother looked a little taken aback, but she snickered at his words.

"Well, okay. Though I don't really feel old enough to be called that name." Everyone in the room laughed at that statement, knowing she was no where near old enough to be considered a 'granny.'

E.C. soon cleared up any confusion. "Well, I got a Nana and a Gramma, but I don't got a Granny yet." The smile on my mother's face only grew as she quickly nodded, agreeing with E.C.'s request. My father crossed the room to stand next to my mom.

"Hi. I'm your grandpa. You got a name all picked out for me?" he asked, a crooked smile that mimicked both mine and E.C.'s firmly plastered on his face.

"You gonna be Grandpa 'cause I got Papa Phil and Grappa."

"That sounds like a fine idea, I like that name," my father said, agreeing with his name choice. He stood looking at E.C., happiness radiating from him, and I knew that my fears of disappointing him were completely irrational. He loved me, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he loved E.C. too.

"Hey, I gotta picture of you, wanna see?" E.C. asked as he pulled out the little book he had tucked into his side. He held it up and turned to the first page. "There's Momma and Daddy," he said as he pointed to pictures of Bella and I on the first two pages. The book he held was small enough to fit in my hands, but when he held it, the pages almost seemed to overwhelm him. Each page was a bright color, filled with stickers and letters, cartoon characters and animals. I could tell that someone had put a great deal of effort into making it for him, and you could see the reverence he held for it in his eyes. It was like a treasure to him and I got the feeling it was one of his most cherished belongings.

He turned a few more pages before stopping and letting out a little sigh. "That's you, Granny." Holding the book out, my mother stepped closer to take a look.

"Oh my goodness, that is me. And there's Grandpa, huh?" she asked him.

"Yep, that's Grandpa with his football shirt." I glanced at the picture and saw that it was one Alice had taken after a football game my junior year. My dad was wearing his Cullen jersey, the one he considered his lucky shirt since I always managed to play well in the games he wore it to.

Looking over to Bella, I saw her biting her lip, a look of worry still on her face. I tightened my grip on her waist and she raised her eyes to meet mine. Offering her a little smile, she let out a breath and seemed to relax a bit before laying her head against my shoulder.

E.C. pointed to the next page, which held a picture of Alice and Jasper. "That's Auntie Ali and Unca Jazz. And on here…" he struggled to turn another page, "is my Unca Em and Aunt Rose. She got a baby in there," he proudly stated as he pointed to the picture of Rosalie.

"Let me see that. What picture have you got of me?" Rosalie asked as she slowly rose from her chair, waddling straight toward us with her eyes locked on E.C.'s book. After taking a closer look she smiled. "Well, that's not a bad picture after all. My hair looks great in that, I mean look at all that curl! Man, this pregnancy is killing my hair," she mumbled as she turned to walk back to her seat.

My mother looked to Bella. "Are you guys' hungry? I managed to save a few things from Emmett if you want them." Bella nodded and stepped away from me, intending to follow my mother. Bella and I were both caught a little off guard when my mother wrapped her arms around Bella, pulling her in for a tight hug.

"Oh Bella, I've missed you. Don't you run off on us again, you understand?" I could see my mother's eyes glistening with tears as Bella's arms reached up to circle my mom's waist, her head nodding in agreement.

"I won't, I promise. I'm so sorry Mrs. Cullen, I didn't mean to hurt anyone," Bella whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. I could see by the look on her face how remorseful she was over the decisions she had made, but I hoped that we all would be able to move past it and be closer eventually. "I just wanted what was best for Edward. Please believe me."

"I know you did, dear. I'm just so glad you're back. And none of this Mrs. Cullen stuff. You can call me Mom if you want to, or Esme, whatever you're most comfortable with." She pulled back and looked at Bella, bringing her hand up to smooth it over Bella's hair, looking as though she was checking for any changes in Bella's face.

"Thank you, Esme. I think I'll go with that for now, if it's okay." My mother nodded before reaching down and taking a hold of Bella's hand, pulling her to the counter and stove where the food was.

"E.C., you hungry?" my father asked.

"Yep, my tummy's hungry, it was all grumbly before." I laughed at E.C.'s comment and asked him if he wanted down so he could walk to the counter. "No, you hold me, Daddy." He wrapped one arm around my neck as he clutched his book to his chest with the other and smiled up at me. The more he called me daddy, the happier I became. Excitement flowed through me, yet I felt peaceful and content, like all of the pieces of my life were finally fitting together.

I didn't know what he would want to eat, so I quickly grabbed him a plate, trying to balance him, his book and the plate, while asking him what he wanted to eat. I quickly realized I wouldn't be able to get myself anything while I helped him, and I hoped that Emmett wasn't planning on coming along after us and taking everything that was left.

I got E.C. settled into a chair at the table next to Alice, his plate filled with all the things he said he liked, and went back to see what food was left.

"He's beautiful, Edward," Rosalie whispered as I walked past her. She was staring at him dreamily, no doubt imagining what it would be like when it was her child sitting at the table, being fawned over by so many adoring family members.

"Thanks Rose, he keeps surprising me, you know? Just things he says and does. He's so smart." She let out a little snort and giggle.

"Well, that definitely comes from Bella. I mean, he looks just like you, but if he's smart…well, I know that's not from you."

"Hey," I quickly spatted back at her with a laugh, "I did manage to get into medical school so I can't be too much of an idiot."

She looked at me and smiled. "I hope he has your sense of humor, Edward. I really, really do." She was so sincere in her words as she reached out and rubbed my arm with her hand.

"Thanks Rose." I quickly turned around to get some silverware, hoping I wasn't blushing. Then, as if to ruin our lovely little bonding moment, I heard her mutter under her breath as she walked toward the table, "Just don't screw it up." I knew she couldn't stand to be sweet to me for long.

Our breakfast went by quickly, everyone talking to E.C. while he showed off the pictures of his family in his little book. He told us stories of playing football on the beach, and I could tell Emmett was mentally making plans for the week he would spend there with me when he helped me move. He talked about helping his neighbor plant flowers, which excited my mother and I could already imagine her having visions of him kneeling along side her in the garden, wearing little gardening gloves that matched hers. He even talked about how he hurt his wrist when he crashed on his bike. That got my fathers attention as talk of x-rays, casts, and slings filled the conversation for a few minutes.

Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for the day's events. Alice, Rosalie and Bella were heading upstairs to start 'getting gorgeous' as Alice put it and I pulled Bella aside as they left.

"You gonna be okay with those two?" I asked, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear as I backed her into the hallway.

"Yes, I'll be fine. You gonna be alright with E.C. for a while? You could probably just turn on some cartoons and he'll be happy." She smiled, looking past me to check on him and sighing when she saw him safely tucked into my mother's lap as they looked through picture books my mom had saved from our childhood.

I looked at Bella, really looked at her, and was again blown away by how incredible she was. I didn't know what on earth I had done to have her there with me, but the words Rosalie had murmured kept running through my head_. Don't screw it up! Don't screw it up!_

My stomach started to twist as I recalled all the things I'd been keeping from her. I resolved that I would tell her everything the next day. I just wanted us to get through the evening, and then I would come clean. I wanted us to have a few days together before she left, days that we could work through things, so I knew I couldn't put it off much longer.

Bella quickly looked around before settling her gaze on me, our eyes meeting, as her hands reached up and grabbed a hold of the belt loops on my jeans. She tugged me toward her as her body leaned away from the wall and toward mine. Tilting her mouth up, Bella puckered her lips.

"Come here," she seductively whispered, and I did exactly what she asked. I pressed my body along hers, letting my mouth softly fall against her lips. They moved in unison for a moment before I gently pulled her pouty bottom lip between mine, sucking on it tenderly. I was overwhelmed by the scent of her. It wasn't perfume or lotion, it was just her, and every cell of my being reacted to it. I wanted her, in every way imaginable.

I placed my hands on the wall on either side of her head and pushed against her as her tongue flicked out and traced along my lips. I had wanted Bella for so long that I couldn't resist taking advantage of what she offered, even if it was in my parents' house with my family only steps away. We stood in the hallway making out like teenagers for a few minutes, her hands having worked their way up into my hair, my lips having traveled down to her neck and collarbone. Just as I was considering pulling her into the downstairs guest bathroom and closing the door, Alice called out for her.

"Bella! Where are you? Get up here; we have a lot to do!" I could hear her footsteps on the floor above us and I knew it was only a matter of time before she stood before me, dragging Bella away. Regretfully, I withdrew from her, letting my lips kiss hers a few more times before releasing a deep breath.

"Go, I'll watch E.C., we'll be fine." I looked at her, knowing that she was all I would ever want.

"Alright. Thank you for this; for today. It's been perfect; I never imagined things would be like this. It's all because of you, so thank you." She lifted up onto her tip toes and placed a kiss on the corner of my mouth before quickly moving her lips to my ear. "I love you, Edward." She turned and walked away quickly, dashing up the stairs just as Alice began to call out to her again.

I was happy, feeling totally overwhelmed by Bella, E.C. and the love I felt for them. It was a good day, and as I entered the kitchen, hearing my mother and E.C. singing nursery rhymes together, I doubted that anything could cast a shadow on it.

The wedding was perfect. Everything went off without a hitch and as I stood along side Jasper, watching as Rosalie, then Bella, and finally Alice made their way down the aisle, my heart swelled with love for them all. I loved and admired each of them in very different ways, and I was happy that Alice and I had finally started to smooth things over from our fights a few weeks earlier.

Jasper and I were back to our usual selves after a couple of boys nights where we had plenty of beer and _I love you man_'s. I knew that neither of them ever wanted to hurt me, they were just doing what they thought was best. Of course, having E.C. there really made me want to have things calm between us all. He was like a miracle drug to cure the plague that was my family. We loved him and were better for having him with us.

He walked down the aisle after Bella, carrying a little pillow with the wedding rings tied to it. He looked so handsome in his little suit and people in the congregation_ oohed_ and _aahed_ over him. I heard whispers asking who he was and how it was that he looked so much like my father, who was walking right behind him with Alice. Several eyes turned to me and their questions were most likely answered when they saw the smile on my face, pride beaming through me at the little boy I hopelessly loved.

I glanced at Bella several times during the ceremony, imagining us having one like it someday. I assumed Bella was thinking the same thing I was since she was usually looking at me too and she had a smile plastered on her face. E.C. sat next to my parents and when it came time for the rings, he very carefully brought the pillow up to Jasper, handing it to him before walking over to me, wrapping his arms around my leg. I reached down to touch his hair and smile at him, and he tugged on my pant leg.

"What?" I whispered, while trying to not call attention to us, which was virtually impossible.

"I wanna stand up here by you, Daddy." His little face was so sweet, I couldn't tell him no. Glancing up to Alice, I was met with a grin and nod, telling me she was happy about him standing there. My mother started to sniffle, whispering something about all her little Cullen men looking so handsome in their suits, and Emmett and I snickered over it.

E.C. stood quietly through the rest of the ceremony and when it came time to walk back down the aisle, he took hold of my hand. Bella and I were supposed to walk together, but he quickly reached out and grasped her hand too, standing between us with a huge smile on his face. Bella and I looked at each other before looking down to him as we started down the pathway. I heard more whispers and gasps from our family and friends seated in the pews, and I saw flashes going off, but none of it registered in that moment. I was happy and with the two people I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The sky could have fallen and I wouldn't have noticed.

Before the reception, we had pictures with the photographer. My mother insisted on Bella and E.C. being in our family pictures because E.C. was family and so was Bella, in my mother's eyes. Whether it was official or not was of no concern. Bella protested a bit but started wavering in her decision when Alice began to ask, finally giving in at my urging. She was part of my family and always would be, no matter what.

After all the group pictures were done and the photographer had finished with Alice and Jasper, I pulled him aside quickly and asked if he would take a few of Bella, E.C., and I. He was more than happy to, though I didn't appreciate his obvious attempts to flirt with Bella. Just because she wasn't wearing a wedding ring and it was clear we weren't married, didn't mean that she was available. I knew I had nothing to worry about and she was just being polite to him, but the thought of her being with anyone else bothered me. I realized it was something that we would need to address soon. I was curious about her life back in Miami, and I still had a name lingering in the back of my mind—Jake. Who was he and why did her stepfather think I was him the first time I called her?

E.C. ran and I chased him around the grounds of the church. He would hide behind bushes or trees and I'd pretend not to see him. He loved that he thought he could trick me, and I loved the sound of his laughter as it floated through the air. His squeals of delight made all of us laugh as my family gathered around to watch us, Bella sitting silently nearby. Sometimes I saw her laughing and other times it looked as if she might cry. I wondered about the thoughts running through her head but I tried not to let it bother me. I knew that if there was anything wrong, we'd have plenty of time to address it, but for the moment I was bonding with my son, and I loved every second of it.

After managing to avoid grass stains on our suits, E.C. and I headed in for the reception, which was due to start at any moment. The food smelled incredible and my stomach growled as I remembered that I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"Is Granny cookin' more stuff in here?" E.C. asked as I led him toward the bathroom. We needed to clean up a bit and Bella had mentioned that he was starting to do his 'potty dance.' I had no idea what she was talking about, but apparently it meant he needed to visit the little boys' room.

"No, Granny didn't make that. We're gonna have some dinner tonight, are you hungry?" I asked as we entered the restroom.

"Yep, my tummy's empty."

"Okay then, good thing we have lots of food here." I smiled down at him as we approached the stalls. I wondered if he would prefer a regular toilet or a urinal, but being that he was a little boy, I didn't think he could stand and reach the urinal, and I wasn't too sure about holding him up. Into the stall he'd have to go, but then another question crossed my mind—was he going to need help? And if he did, what was I supposed to do? Feelings of inadequacy began to build as I realized I couldn't even help my son use the bathroom by myself. I had a lot to learn and not much time to do it in.

"Hey Daddy, you get my button undone?" E.C. looked up at me, expectantly.

"Sure buddy. Daddy doesn't really know how to help you in here. What does Momma usually do?"

He wiggled around a bit before speaking. "She helps me." That wasn't the answer I was looking for. Obviously she helped him, but how? What did she do?

"Okay, so she helps with your pants?" I asked.

"Yep."

I squatted down and undid the belt and buttons on his pants, sliding the zipper down. "Now what?"

"She pushes 'em down for me." I slid his pants to his knees and had to stop myself from laughing at the blue cartoon underwear he had on.

"Those are some fancy underpants you have there."

He smiled. "Momma got 'em for me. It's Diego, see?" He turned around to show me his little butt, the picture of a boy dressed like some kind of adventurer drawn across it.

"Nice, is that a show you watch?" I asked.

"Yep, that's Diego. He likes animals. I gotta pee."

"Oh right." I turned him around and pushed him toward the toilet. "Do you stand up or sit down?"

"I can stand up, see?" I watched as he pulled his underwear down and angled himself over the toilet.

As I turned to step out, giving him some privacy, he called out to me. "Daddy, wait, I'm almost done."

"I'm not leaving, I was just gonna wait out here for you. It looks like you have things under control there." I rubbed my hand across my forehead, still somewhat confused about all the seemingly little things I didn't know when it came to my son.

"I'm all done." I turned around to see him standing there, throwing a bit of toilet paper into the toilet. "I got all the pee, see?" He proudly held up his little penis for me to see.

"Yeah, looks good." I wasn't sure what to say. Did I clap? Offer to buy him a candy bar? Inspect a little closer to make sure he really got it all?

"I got a penis and teticals. You wanna see em?" He reached down to grab his testicles so that I could get a better look.

"No, that's okay, I believe you." I bent down to help him pull up his underwear so that we could stop talking about body parts. As I fastened his pants, he continued filling me in on all the things he knew.

"Momma has a bagina. She hasta sit down to go potty, she can't stand up like me." I nodded, agreeing silently. "And she has booboos that are fluffy, not flat like mine." He reached up and patted his chest, showing where his 'booboos' were.

"Yep, girls have boobs don't they?" I agreed, struggling to get his button done.

"Hey Daddy, you got a penis like me?" he asked, curiosity clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I have penis like you do."

"Is it big? Can I see it?"

"What?" I asked, looking at him like he'd just grown a third arm or something.

"Can I see? Is it little like mine?" I smirked, knowing that my 'parts' were anything but little, and that most likely he would thank me someday for granting him with good genetics when it came to that.

"No, not today. Maybe another time, okay? We need to get our hands washed and get back in there before your Momma thinks we fell in or something." His questions and comments weighed heavily on me and I wondered if I was really ready to be a father. Would I ever really be able to take care of him the way he needed me to? What would happen when it was just the two of us sometime? I knew I wanted to be an active part of his life, but could I do it? Looking down at his little face, so determined and focused on getting his shirt tucked into his pants, I worried about my abilities and hoped that Bella would help me figure it all out. The thought of spending time with her while I learned about our son made me happy, and I smiled at the idea of it.

"Okay," he happily agreed and ran over to the sink, turning on the water and lathering up his hands. As we walked into the room where the reception was being held, E.C. spotted Bella across the room, standing with my mother and aunt. He sprinted toward her and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Momma! Daddy has a penis like me! He's gonna let me see it!"

My mouth dropped open in shock as heads turned to look at us. I stood there in horror as Bella laughed and E.C. was completely unaware of anything being wrong. He was so innocent and sweet; I knew he didn't see anything wrong with what he'd said. I decided to shrug it off and I laughed along with Bella, as my mother's face turned a little red and she started to laugh as well.

The three of us sat down at a table along with the rest of my family, E.C. seated between Bella and me. We ate our meals as the waiters and waitresses hurried around the room serving us. Bella and I talked and joked with each other, as well as everyone else, while laughing about E.C. and his distaste for half of what we were eating. Bella told me that he usually wasn't very picky, but every once in a while he let his stubborn streak show through and he would refuse to eat something. Finally, about an hour into the evening, the three of us sat alone at the table, my family members all gone dancing or visiting with other guests. Things were going great until I heard a voice.

"Edward? Is that you?" I turned to look and see who was talking to me and was met with the bright green eyes of a waitress working the wedding. She looked a little familiar, but I didn't know where I knew her from.

"Yes, I'm Edward, do I know you?" I asked, watching from the corner of my eye as Bella pretended not to be listening to what was happening.

"Yeah, I'm Amy, we met last year? Do you remember me? From the dance club last summer?" She smiled and flipped her long straight blonde hair over her shoulder. Flashes of a girl came to my mind and I suddenly got a very uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"Um, I think so. Did I know some of your friends or something?" I asked, hoping it wasn't as bad as I feared.

"Well, yeah, you know my friend Kim and you _really_ know my friend Robin," she said suggestively as she lowered her voice. "How are you? You never called, I was hoping you would." She smiled brightly at me, bending down a little more so that her shirt dropped open and her cleavage was front and center for me to see. I turned my head a bit, not wanting to look down her shirt.

"Oh yeah, I remember now." And I did remember, every last sordid detail of that night. I had met her and her friends at one of the dance clubs in Port Angeles. I was home for a few weeks in the summer and needed some excitement. I went to the club hoping to find someone cute and easy, and I did—two of them. I knew her friend Kim, who had dated a friend of mine in high school, but Amy and Robin were new.

We danced for quite a bit that night and we all got pretty wasted. Before I knew what was happening, I had them in a storage room, the door locked securely as I screwed them both, watching them do incredible things to each other. It wasn't the first three-way I'd had, or the last, but it was one of the better ones. Those girls were crazy, and obviously familiar with how those kinds of things worked. Amy was cute and pretty good with her oral skills, so I figured I'd call her sometime when I was in town and needing something fast. I never had, and now I wondered how badly that was going to come back and bite me.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, sorry about that. I went back to school and I haven't been around much since then." I was brief and made sure that my tone of voice was not overly inviting to her. I hoped that she would get the picture and walk away, but of course, she didn't.

"Well, you're here now. You got some free time?" she whispered seductively as she ran her fingers across my arm, down toward my lap where my hand was settled on top of my thigh.

"Now's not really good, I mean this is my sister's wedding and all. I'm leaving for school again soon so I think that might have been just a one time thing. Sorry." I tried to be nice, yet not give her any hope for more. I didn't want her freaking out on me and spilling something in front of Bella.

She looked at me, her eyes hardening as she did. "Oh, I see. So I was good enough for you when it was me and Robin, but I'm not good enough when it's just me? Is that it?" Her voice was starting to rise a little and I quickly backpedaled in an effort to calm her down and save myself any more embarrassment.

"No, that's not it. I really did mean to call you, I just haven't been here. I'm not really available in that way now, so I'm sorry but it's not gonna happen. Please, I am sorry, and especially for the way I treated you. It was wrong of me, and I apologize." I tried to keep my voice as quiet as possible, hoping to spare Bella all the gory details of my past.

She looked over my shoulder at Bella and then at E.C. before snapping her eyes back to mine. She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "Were you married when we…you know?"

"No, I wasn't. I'm still not, it's just complicated. Please, I really am sorry." I quieted my voice even more, looking at her intently and pleading for her to drop it and just walk away. She looked over at Bella for a moment before letting her eyes focus on E.C., who happily sat between us eating the mints he had piled onto his plate, having already finished his dinner. Bella was staring intently at the chicken on her plate, cutting it into a million pieces, and I knew then that this was not going to be good.

Amy sighed. "Okay, sorry about this. It was nice to see you again. Have a good night." She turned and walked away, leaving me with a huge mess to clean up. Turning back toward Bella, I watched her for a few moments, taking in the glaringly obvious fact that she wasn't looking at me.

"Bella?" I asked, nervous about what was going through her mind. My stomach churned as I watched her breathing rapidly, her jaw clenching as she gritted her teeth.

"Hmm?" she said, never taking her eyes off her plate.

"You okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" There was a fierceness in her voice that I hadn't heard in a long time, not since high school when other girls would come around, flirting with me. She was jealous.

"Alright, I just didn't want you to be upset with me. That girl was just a friend of a friend. I met her last summer, no big deal." I smiled, hoping she would look at me and take comfort in what I was telling her.

"Great, that's nice." She poked her fork around her plate. "You seem to have a lot of 'just friends' don't you?" Finally she raised her eyes to me, an accusing look in them.

"Yeah, I guess so." I nodded, knowing she was right.

She sighed. "That's what I was afraid of." She looked back to her plate, her face twisted in sadness, as she laid down her fork and picked up her glass to take a drink.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It wasn't a big deal, I promise. Not like you are to me, okay?" I reached over and rubbed her shoulder, letting my hand glide downward along her arm to her elbow. Pain flowed through when she winced at my touch and I instantly regretted, yet again, every last moment of the past four years. Music was playing and I saw several couples dancing near the band. I stood up, pulled out E.C.'s chair and picked up his plate. I walked him over to another table where Rosalie sat talking to my aunt.

"Can you watch him for a bit?" I asked.

She smiled, "Sure."

Walking back to our table, I stood behind Bella's chair, placing my hand on her back. "Dance with me?"

She looked up at me with surprise clear in her expression. "What? You know I'm not a good dancer."

"I don't care; I want to dance with you."

"Edward, that's probably not a good idea, I mean these heels aren't really Bella-proof, you know? Just forget it, I'm just being stupid." She folded her hands in her lap as she looked out across the room to the couples who were gliding around the dance floor.

"Bella, I don't care if you just stand there with me, I don't care if you stand on my feet. Crap Bella, I don't care if I have to carry you the whole time, I want to dance with you. I want my arms around you and I want to feel you against me. Now please, get up out that chair and come dance with me, preferably before I make a complete fool of myself by begging and pleading with you." She looked back up at me, her eyes wide with shock. "I'll do it too, don't doubt that I won't. I want you and I'm not taking no for an answer." I held my hand out for her, praying that she would take it.

She did.

I silently pulled her to the dance floor just as a slow song was beginning. I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms tightly around her waist, pulling her against me. Lowering my head so that my lips were brushing against her ear, I whispered softly to her.

"I love you, no one else ever. Please, believe me. No matter what happens, what you see or hear, it's only ever been you. I swear to you, on my life—on E.C.'s life, and just know that he is the most precious thing to me, next to you. Please, Bella, please believe me. I don't know what else to do, I can't change the past—I wish I could—but I can promise you that I'll stay with you forever, if you'll have me." She tightened her hold around me, burying her face in my neck and clinging to me.

We swayed to the music as song after song went by. I held her close, breathing her in and whispering things as she melted into me. I was in heaven. Every few minutes I would hear E.C. laughing or see him dancing with my mother or Alice. Rosalie danced with him once but quickly stopped after he commented that he couldn't see her face over her belly and "that big 'ole baby" that was in there.

When it was finally time for Alice and Jasper to leave we all went outside, lighting sparklers to make an archway for them to walk under. E.C. loved his and kept trying to stick his finger in it. Bella stopped him from getting burned and I marveled at her abilities and the ease with which she took care of him. It was just second nature to her, like she didn't even have to think about it. For a moment I wondered if I would ever be as comfortable parenting him as she seemed to be, and I hoped that I would.

As E.C. began to yawn, I knew the evening was coming to a close. After telling everyone goodnight, I drove Bella and E.C. back to her dad's house, carrying my sleeping son inside when we got there. We spent a few minutes getting him changed and ready for bed and after he was tucked in, I went downstairs to the living room to wait for Bella. She came down dressed in sleep pants and a t-shirt, clearly more comfortable than she had been all evening.

"You wanna stay for a bit? My dad's over at Sue's house for awhile tonight, he was driving her home from the reception." Bella glanced at me curiously.

"Sure, you wanna watch TV or something?" I asked.

She stepped a little closer to me. "Or something…" Her teeth bit into her lower lip as she looked up at me, batting her eyelashes. She wrapped her hand around mine and pulled me to the sofa, sitting off to one side. I sat next to her and within minutes she had the lamp turned off and was straddling my lap.

Kissing her was one of the most incredible things I'd ever done in my life. If I could have spent every minute of the day doing it, it would still never have been enough for me. My hands traced up and down her back as hers ran through my hair, rubbing and pulling it gently. Our lips were locked together as our tongues touched and caressed one another. In the dark, it was easy to get lost in her as she surrounded me, overwhelming me with her scent, her feel and her sounds. Hearing her moan as she pushed herself onto me almost did me in, and soon she was lying on her back as I lied on top of her, my hands roaming underneath her shirt and touching her soft skin.

As I got reacquainted with her body, she flinched when my hands smoothed over her stomach. The skin was uneven and bumpy and I pulled away, looking down at her with questions in my eyes. "They're stretch marks from E.C." she said softly. "You can't really see them anymore, they're kind of silver, but you can feel them."

"He did this to you?" I asked, knowing that it was really me that had done it to her.

"Yeah, well that and genetics." She giggled. "My doctor said since I was so young, and E.C. was so big, my skin stretched too fast. Do you hate them?" I could see her brow furrow with worry, even with the dim light.

"No, I love them." I pushed the fabric of her shirt up as I moved down and began laying feather kisses along every bump I could feel. Looking up at her, I could see the lust in her eyes, her hands threading through my hair. She pulled on it, yanking me back up to her, as her lips attacked mine.

My hand continued to wander under her shirt as I sucked on her neck, teasing the skin with my teeth and tongue. Soon, my hand slid over the cup of her bra, hooking my fingers around the edge of it and pulling it down, giving me access to take a hold of her breast. My face was buried in her neck as I moaned at the feel of her nipple hardening in my fingers.

"Baby, you always had the best tits, but I think they're bigger."

"That's what happens when you have a baby, Edward," she said softly, her hands reaching down and tugging at my shirt.

I squeezed her breast, rolling the nipple between my thumb and forefinger, tugging on it gently. Things were starting to come back to me, memories of our times together. I started to remember the things she liked, the things that drove her crazy, and as I began to do some of them, her moans got louder as her breathing increased. I felt her hand snake around to my belt, fumbling with it. Her hips were rising in an effort to grind against mine, and with the belt between us, she finally gave up, thrusting her hand into the front of my pants instead. I hissed as her fingers touched the head of my dick, fondling it ever so carefully.

Shoving her shirt up, I reached around her back, unclasping her bra, then pushed it up as I bent down to take her hardened peak into my mouth, sucking deeply as my tongue flicked it. She grasped onto me, pumping me slowly, smoothly.

We continued to move together, reacquainting ourselves and our bodies, when she whispered, "Edward…" I looked up at her, seeing hesitation in her eyes. "I haven't done this since you. I might be bad at it."

My fingers, that were starting to push under the waistband of her pants, froze. "What?" I asked, startled by her admission.

"I haven't been with anyone; I don't know if I'm gonna remember what to do."

I sat back a little, pulling my hand from her body and reaching across to take her hand from my pants. "We can't do this."

The confused look on her face broke my heart. "What?" she asked, scooting backwards on the couch, away from me, while pulling at her shirt and bra, settling them back into place. "You don't want me? You don't want to be with me?" Her voice shook with fear as her eyes darted between my face and something behind me. Bella seemed anxious and a little regretful, which I hoped wasn't over what we'd just been doing. I knew I needed to reassure her of my intentions, but first I wanted to know if she meant what she had just said.

"No, baby, it's just that…you haven't done this? With anyone since me?" I was in shock, trying to wrap my head around it, knowing what I needed to tell her.

"No, no one. I mean, who really wants to date a girl with a baby, you know?" she said quietly, her face full of sadness. Bella looked down at her lap, as I saw a tear slide down her cheek. I moved closer to her, reaching up to wipe away the tear with my thumb, and taking her face in my hand. I lifted it so that her eyes met mine.

"I do," I said emphatically as Bella's eyes filled up with tears and she began to cry again.

"You have to say that because it's your baby. No one else wants to raise some other guys' son, Edward. A daughter, fine, but not a son."

"Then every other guy is just stupid, and I'm the lucky one." We stared at one another for a few moments before she finally closed her eyes, leaning her face into my hand. "Who's Jake?" I asked. Her eyes popped open.

"What?"

"Jake, who is he? I mean, I know you said he was a friend, but Phil asked if I was Jake the first time I called you. I just want to know who he is. I mean, are you dating him or something? I don't want to move in on some other guys' girl. I just need to know, before we go any further with any of this," I said as I motioned between us.

"Jake is my friend, that's it. I work with him. He actually got me the job at the café on campus where I work," Bella said simply. "We had an English class together and the teacher paired us up to study. I mentioned one day that I needed a job, but that no where would hire me because of my weird hours. He was working there, got me an interview and he talked our manager into hiring me. He's just a friend, I promise." Her eyes were sincere and I knew that she was telling the truth.

"Okay, I believe you. But, you've really not done anything with any other guys in the last four years?" I still couldn't believe what she was telling me.

"No, why is that so surprising? I mean, have you? You know, been with other girls? I—I would understand if you had, I mean, I pushed you away. You deserved to move on and be happy." The words coming from her lips didn't match the expression on her face, and I knew that this wasn't the time to tell her about my past.

"Yeah, I've been with some, but none of them ever meant anything to me. That's the truth, you can ask anyone." Her mouth fell open a bit and she quickly closed it, trying to hide her true feelings.

"Oh, okay. So I have a lot to live up to then when we do this, don't I? No pressure or anything." She let out a nervous laugh and I sighed.

"Bella, we're not gonna do this tonight, not like this. I don't want the first time I make love to you after us being apart for so long to be on your dad's couch. I want it to be special and perfect, everything that our actual first time wasn't." I wanted to make up for the past four years. I wanted to make up for all the stolen moments in the back of my car. I wanted to make up for the frantic gropings in my parents basement. I wanted it to be right, to show her how I really felt about her.

"You don't…want me…?" she whispered, her body beginning to shake from fear of rejection.

"No, I do want you, so much. You have no idea how hard this is right now. I want to drag you out of this house to the first hotel I see and throw you on a bed and spend hours worshipping you, the way you deserve to be treated. But we have a son, and we can't leave him. I love you too much to waste this. It's not gonna be like the first time, it's gonna be so much better."

"Edward, the first time was perfect, don't you see that? It was perfect because I was with you."

I let out a deep breath. "You know I want you, I mean, you could _feel_ how much just a minute ago, but the fact that I stopped should tell you how important this is to me. It will happen, trust me, but not like this. Please?"

She nodded in agreement, leaning forward as she lifted her arms and wrapped them around my neck. We sat like that for a long time, just being together. She moved a little and settled into my lap, laying her head against my chest. I rocked her back and forth gently and before too long, she had fallen asleep. I held her, enjoying the feel of her body against mine, until finally I carried her upstairs and laid her in bed, next to our sleeping son.

Pulling the blankets up over her, I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, before bending over her to kiss E.C. on the nose. As I stood I heard her moan a little, my name slipping quietly from her lips. I couldn't help myself as I bent over again and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth, whispering, "I love you, baby," before I carefully snuck out of the room.

I waited downstairs for a bit, watching TV, until finally a little after midnight Charlie came home. I met him out on the porch, telling him that Bella and E.C. were asleep. He thanked me for staying with them and asked if I'd come over the next day for lunch, that Sue's family wanted to meet me and he knew Bella and E.C. would want to see me again. I quickly agreed and said goodnight, slowly walking to my car and then driving home.

When I entered the house, I found my mother sitting alone in the kitchen, smiling when she saw me.

"Hey mom, what are you doing?" I asked, pausing next to her and looking down at the picture she held in her hands. It was a picture from when I was about two years old, Emmett was three and Alice was a baby. It was our first official family picture after Alice was born, and my mother sat tracing her fingers over the images of each of us.

"My babies are all grown up now," she said sadly as tears slipped down her cheeks and a smile took over her face. "And I'm so proud of you all." I put my arm around her, hugging her to me and kissing her on the top of her head.

It had been a wonderful day, one that I would never forget, and as I sat looking at the picture in my mothers' hands, I realized that finally, it was now my turn to have what she had. It was my turn to have a family.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Yeah, yeah, yeah…cockblocked you there. Come on, you know you don't want it to be to THAT easy? :D Things are gonna start getting crazy after this. Seems these two have some serious issues to work through, and the secret's Edward's been keeping might not be the only ones. Oh no, I didn't just say that? Oh yeah, I did. :D

**How about some rec's? I haven't read much lately but here are a few good ones I've seen. They are all on my favorites list too, if you want to get to them that way. ****Otherwise, remove the ()'s like always. :)**

_**The Face I Can't Forget**_** by RosaBella75 and TwiliteAddict  
****Summary - Bella finds herself in dire financial need and takes drastic action-she offers her virginity up for auction. Will this desperate plan to save her college education actually turn out to be a second chance at love?  
****This is great! It's only gonna be 7 chapters, 5 of which are already up, but I am loving it!! Seriously, check it out!! You won't be sorry.**

******http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5888798/1/The_Face_I_Cant_Forget**

_**C5-6**_** by ss10  
****Summary - "People just assume that you're my nurse." Edward is a quadriplegic, 10 years after his accident he meets Bella—a socially inept wanderer. Together they come to an understanding, one that challenges all palpable perceptions.  
****This story is beautiful. I love the characters and how truthful and honest it is. I'm dying to see what she's going to do with this.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5801089/1/C_5_6**

**And for something complete –**

**Faking It by spanglemaker9  
****Summary - Half of Hollywood's most famous couples are faking it. That's how Bella Swan's publicist convinces her to pretend to date troubled Hollywood bad boy Edward Cullen. And she'll do anything for her band and her music.  
****Oh my heavens, I'm SO sucked into this right now! Uhhh, I can't stop reading it, which is really bad since I don't have time to read, and if I am reading, I've got a list of things I NEED to read, but I can't stop. Her Edward is…oh good heavens. And her Bella is awesome!!! I love it. So much. I can't stop.**

**http://www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5153711/1/Faking_It**

**So there you go!! 8500 words of story, along with three awesome rec's. Not too shabby, right? :D I gotta wrap up a little o/s I'm working on and then I'll be starting on the next chapter of this, so hopefully we won't have another 3 week wait. I really don't want there to be. I'll do my best.**

**Oh, and let me know, do you miss cursing in this story? I don't curse, but some people think these characters should. What do you think? Let me know, it might make a difference. I mean, there are things they won't ever say, no matter what, but other things could maybe, possibly, kinda be worked in. Who knows…**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.**

**And this has a thread on Twilighted.**

**Links to both of those are on my profile.**

**Leave me some love and then go check out those rec's! You'll love 'em!! :)**


	12. Chapter 12 Feels Like Tonight

**A./N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a great appreciation for all the people who have given and/or risked their lives for me and the country I live in. Thank you to all of those in the military who give so fully of themselves so that I can enjoy the freedoms and opportunities I have. And thank you to the wives, children, parents, siblings, and family & friends who sacrifice along with their servicemen and women. I've had a taste of what that's like, with my brother in law serving in Iraq and my brother now serving in Afghanistan, and I'm forever indebted to you. Thank you!**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**The woman has nerves of steel, letting her sweet little daughter play with a wild chipmunk. Really, you should see the video…it's on her new Facebook page. :D It's cute…and it looks as though the chipmunk was rabies free. This time… :D**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** Missy V and I have tickets to see the Twilight Trilogy on June 29****th**** on a VERY big screen, and I sure wish the other two tickets were for my Baby G and La V… But alas, they are for my Drama Queen daughter and her best friend. It's like me and my Missy V - the next generation. :D**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. I don't know how you two do it, but you always do. :D I love that you make time for me and my little stories…it makes me feel so loved. :D**

**I know I told a few of you (*eh-hmm* If you review, you sometimes get spoilers on what's coming up, just saying…I get wordy, I can't help it. :D ) that this chapter would have Edward's big reveal in it. Well, I'm sad to report that little E.C., as cute as he may be, is getting quite the ego. :D He kinda stole the show here and ran with it, demanding more Daddy time. But hey, at least he's cute…even as he's sneaking off with chapter after chapter. :D **

**Hope you enjoy it!**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 12 – Feels Like Tonight

_You, you got me  
__Thinking it'll be alright.  
__You, you told me,  
__"Come and take a look inside."  
__You believed me,  
__In every single lie.  
__But I, I failed you this time.  
__  
And it feels like tonight.  
__I can't believe I'm broken inside.  
__Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,  
__But try to make it up to you?  
__And it feels like tonight,  
__Tonight._

"Feels Like Tonight" by Daughtry

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The next morning I woke up bright and early, excited about seeing Bella and E.C. again. All of my family was still sleeping, so I decided to go for a run to clear my mind and try to come up with a plan for how I was going to tell Bella about my past. I had hidden things long enough and I resolved that it was time to come clean with her. I only hoped that she wouldn't hate me for acting out in her absence, or for withholding the truth from her since we'd been back in touch.

The air was crisp and cool, chilling my lungs as I breathed deeply. The longer I ran, the more I thought, and soon I found myself was anxious to be with Bella again. On the way back, I took a slight detour that had me running right past Charlie's house. I wondered if any of them would be up and moving that early in the morning. When I saw E.C. sitting on the porch it dawned on me that it wasn't that early for him—he was used to Miami time, which was three hours ahead of Forks.

I slowed to a walk and watched him as I approached the house. He sat on the front porch swing drinking something from a sippy cup, munching on what looked like an Eggo or cookie. I quietly walked up the sidewalk to the house, listening to him talk to himself and break out into a song every couple of seconds. He was a curious little boy and I couldn't get over how much I already loved him.

He must have heard me crunch some pebbles under my shoe because his head shot up and his eyes met mine. "Daddy!" he yelled, as he struggled to get down from the swing, running to the porch steps. He carefully held onto the hand rail as he walked down each stair, and was running again when he hit the cement. I bent down, my arms wide open, and he flung himself at me, almost knocking me over. I struggled to right myself and keep a hold onto him as I laughed at the brute force he had—so much strength in such a tiny little body. _He would make a great tackle someday if he ever got some size on him_, I thought to myself.

"Hey buddy, how are you?" I asked, as he giggled into my chest.

"Are you comin' to see me, Daddy?" Pulling his head back, his eyes met mine and a smile quickly spread across my face.

"Yep. I was jogging by and I thought maybe I should stop and see if my favorite boy was up yet."

"That's me, right? I'm your favit boy?"

"Of course that's you. My favit-est boy ever!" He laughed and squirmed in my arms as I wiggled my fingers in his sides, tickling him. "Where's your momma?" I asked. I wondered if Bella was home, or maybe still asleep. Hoping that I might be able to see her, I half way expected that Charlie would be watching E.C. this early in the day. I recalled him being an early riser, while Bella was always one who would sleep until noon, if possible.

"She's in the house eating cereal. You want some?"

"Sure thing, but maybe we should ask your momma first," I said, setting him back on the ground and standing up as he reached for my hand, pulling me behind him.

"Momma!" he called out. "Daddy came to see me! I'm his most favit boy!"

We walked into the house, the screen door squeaking as it closed. I heard a slight commotion in the kitchen and as we walked through the doorway, Bella was straightening the table, her clothes, hair, and her breakfast all at the same time. She looked a little frazzled and I paused, hoping things were okay.

"Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything. I was out for a jog and thought I'd run this way."

She stood still, settling her arms at her sides and giving up on her efforts to make everything look presentable. She didn't need to, at least not for me. She was perfect— her clean skin glowing a light pink color, her hair soft and falling around her shoulders, her clothes wrinkly from her having slept in them the night before. She was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, a fact that I already knew, but seeing her this way, so bare and natural, did something to me. I only hoped that she wouldn't try the same things she had the night before because I knew this time I wouldn't be able to stall her.

"No, it's fine. We were just eating breakfast and we hadn't gotten dressed yet," she said.

Looking back at E.C. I noticed that he was in pajamas. "So what kind of PJ's do you have on, E.C.?"

He glanced down as if to check and see what he was wearing. "I got Mickey Mouse ones. I got 'em at DisneyWorld, huh Momma?" Bella nodded in confirmation and we all smiled as he pointed out Mickey and Minnie and Pluto. "He gots a dog, see? You don't got a dog, huh Daddy?"

I made a slightly sad face, shaking my head slowly. "Nope, I don't, but I was thinking I might have to get one really soon. Maybe there's someone who could help me with that. You know any little boys that might want to help me pick out a dog?"

His eyes lit up. "Me! Me do it!" Bella and I both laughed at how excited he had gotten over just the prospect of a dog, and I made a mental note to ask my dad how he felt about me getting a little house dog for the condo he was in the process of purchasing in Miami. He had been looking into several properties in Miami near the university so that I would have somewhere to live while I went to school. My father always talked about what a good investment real estate was, so it didn't surprise me in the least when he insisted on buying a place that I could live in for a few years. As soon as it was decided I would be moving there, we selected one that had all the amenities I would need, as well as an extra bedroom for my parents to stay in when they visited. Once I told my parents about E.C., my father immediately opted for a three bedroom condo so that E.C. could have his own room when he came to stay with me, which I really hoped Bella would be alright with.

"Okay, well we're gonna have to talk to your mom about it and see what we can figure out. Does that sound like a good plan?" He nodded vigorously, clapping his hands together. "Why don't you go back outside and finish your breakfast, okay? Let me talk to your mom for a minute." He turned and quickly ran from the room, heading for the front porch.

"I'm surprised to see you this morning, my dad said he invited you for lunch, but that's not for a few more hours." She looked nervous about something, her whole body seeming tense and on edge as she stood with her hands fidgeted in front of her.

"Oh, well. I really was out jogging and next thing I knew, I was running down this street and I saw E.C. sitting outside. I couldn't _not_ stop," I laughed, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. She smiled and looked down at the table, running her finger along the edge of it.

"So you're getting a dog, huh?"

I smirked, "Maybe. You wanna help me pick something out or am I totally crazy for even thinking it?"

She looked up at me, laughter in her eyes. "Edward, if you start buying him everything he asks for, he's going to have you buying him a pony by his eighth birthday, and a car for his twelfth."

"He can't drive at twelve," I said, perplexed at the thought of buying him a car when I knew he wouldn't be able to drive it for another four years, at least.

"That's exactly why it would be so preposterous," she said as she tried to hide the laugh that was threatening to break free from her throat.

Grinning shyly, I looked toward the ground. "I just want to make him happy, you know? I feel like I'm trying to make up for lost time." I heard her draw in a quick breath as she stood frozen for a few moments.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she whispered. Looking up at her face, I could see the pain in her eyes and my heart dropped.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I'm not angry, Bella... I promise I'm not." She nodded slowly, focusing her eyes on mine. I felt like she was seeing something there, something that told her not to trust me, and I had to try and tear down one of the walls that were standing between us, keeping us apart.

"So, I wanted to tell you something, and I wasn't really sure how to say this, but I think it's good, so..." I cleared my throat, clasping my hands together and twisting my fingers. "You know how I'm going to medical school this fall?"

She nodded, "Mhmm." She watched me closely with a slightly worried look on her face, like I was going to say something she didn't want to hear. It felt a little as if she was expecting bad news, and I wondered for a moment what I could do that would help her be more at ease with me.

"Well, it's like fate or something because I'm going to the University of Miami...I'm moving to Miami." As the words finally slipped from my tongue, I felt as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I let out a long, deep breath, grateful to be keeping one less secret from her. I hoped and prayed with every inch of me that she would be happy about my revelation.

Her face was overcome with shock at my words. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm going to Miami, so I'll be near you guys. That's why I was thinking the puppy thing might be a good idea. I mean, it would give E.C. something to play with when he came to visit me. That is, assuming you would let him come visit me. I know we haven't really talked about any of that yet..." I was nervous, hoping she would be okay with me spending time with him in the future.

"No, of course he can come see you. I want him to see you, Edward," she said. I could see something in her eyes that didn't match what she was telling me, and it left me unsettled.

"Are you sure you're okay with that? You're not keeping something from me, right? You can tell me anything, Bella."

She hesitated for a moment before straightening her shoulders and responding. "No, everything is fine. I'm happy you'll be so close, I'm just surprised. I wasn't expecting it; I thought you were going to school in Seattle."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Well, I was, but the university in Miami has a great neurology department. My professors said it would really help to have training in that for the sports medicine field that I want to go into. The program is four years and then I'll probably stay on for a few more to do my residency and stuff. I mean, you're gonna be there, right?"

She swallowed and nodded, "Yeah, we'll be there."

"Great." I smiled at her, noticing that the smile she gave me in response didn't really reach her eyes, didn't give her the glow that her smiles normally did. I pushed my worries to the back of my mind, hoping maybe it was something else that was bothering her. "My dad has a friend at the hospital there that can probably get me on after I'm done with school, so I'm planning to be there long term. I was really hoping that maybe you'll let me see more than just E.C." I hesitantly stepped toward her, reaching out and taking her hand into mine. "I want us to try again, if you want that too. I want to be with you and I feel like this is our second chance."

She looked down at our hands, my thumb rubbing lightly across her knuckles. "I want that too, another chance at this." She lifted her eyes and I saw the sincerity in them. "I want another chance to do things the right way."

"Bella, promise me something."

"Okay," she said.

"Don't run away from me again, no matter what. Will you promise that you'll talk to me first? Please?" I was hoping that maybe if she knew I wanted to talk things out with her, then when I finally told her about my past, she would give me a chance to explain instead of just running away.

She squeezed my hand and nodded in agreement. "I promise." I leaned down and kissed her lips softly, letting them linger on hers for a few moments before pulling away.

"I guess I should go. I got a hot date this afternoon and I don't want to be late." I winked at her and she smiled, a giggle escaping from her lips.

"Okay, I'll see you soon, then," she said. There was a sparkle in her eyes as I continued to look at her, drinking her in. She had always been quick to blush in certain situations, which was one of the things I loved about her most, but in this instance, her skin became luminous. I could see from her smile, how quickly she was breathing and even in her stance, that she was happy. I was overjoyed at the thought that maybe, just maybe, I had something to do with that. It was a look that I hoped to see every day of my life, and I wished that I could always have this affect on her.

I nodded, "Soon." I took backward steps away from her, our hands pulling apart slowly until finally only our fingertips were touching. They hung in the air, unwilling to let go, then slipped away from one another. I gave her one more reassuring smile before backing into the hallway and turning to go out the front door. E.C. was sitting on the porch swing again, still talking softly to himself.

"Hey bud, I'm gonna head home, okay? I'll be back in a little while for lunch," I told him.

"Okay Daddy. Are you gonna bring a puppy with you?" he asked, excitement in the tone of his voice.

"Uh, no, not today, but I promise we'll find one soon, alright?" I wasn't sure if I should tell him about my moving to Miami and being near him, but I thought it might be best if Bella and I told him together. I didn't know what his response would be or if he would have questions for us. Bella was definitely better equipped to handle that kind of thing, so I decided to wait and let her deal with it, though I fully intended to help.

"Okay. Hey, Momma gonna give me a bath so I'll be clean today. You wanna play with my ball with me? Seth likes to play and you can play with us, okay Daddy?" His eyes shined in the morning light and I fought the urge to grab and hug him while telling him how much I loved him. However, I didn't want to be one of _those _dads, always embarrassing my kids with public displays of affection. Initially I resisted, but then decided that E.C. was three, and there was plenty of time for him to be embarrassed of me as he got older. I sauntered forward and bent down to wrap my arms around him, kissing him lightly on the top of his head.

"That sounds good. I'm gonna go home and get all cleaned up too, so I'll see you in a little while. Be good for your mom while I'm gone." I backed away from him, in awe of his cherub like little face and the way in which he held himself. He really was so much like me, the same posture I exhibited on a daily basis emanating from him.

"Kay Daddy, bye!" he said as he waved to me. I hurried home, running the distance faster than I ever had before.

After showering and dressing, I sat in the living room talking with Emmett and Rosalie, listening to them gush over E.C. and how wonderful they thought Bella was. Rosalie was astonished at how well Bella had raised E.C. all on her own, marveling in his sweet disposition and how well mannered he was. I was proud of them both and enjoyed the time I got to spend reminiscing about them with my brother and his wife. After inviting them to drop by Charlie's house later in the afternoon, something I was sure the Chief would be alright with, I told my parents the same thing, hoping that we could all spend a relaxed evening together.

Alice and Jasper weren't leaving on their honeymoon for another couple of days, so I asked my mom to tell them about visiting Charlie's when they showed up. I knew they would at some point since the bed and breakfast they were staying in was just that—a bed and breakfast. They would be hungry soon enough and make their way home for food. I knew Alice could never pass up a chance to see Bella, so I hoped that they wouldn't wait until evening before they finally made an appearance.

Arriving back at Charlie's house just before noon, I was met by E.C. running down the walk way, shouting to me. "Daddy! I see'd you get here. You wanna play now?" he called, his little purple football held tight in his hands.

"Sure thing. Where is everyone?" I asked, not seeing anyone else in the front yard, but noticing several cars parked near the house.

"They out back. Grappa makin' hamagers on his big grill."

"That sounds good. Are you ready for lunch?" He looked up at me, nodding furiously. "Alright then, let's go." We walked into the house, where Bella and Sue were busy working in the kitchen. I heard them talking to one another and paused for a moment when Sue spoke to Bella.

"You need to tell him, Bella. The sooner, the better."

"I know," replied Bella, "I will."

Sue looked at her, slowing her actions. "Be fair to him. Tell him before it's too late."

Bella nodded, lowering her head as she continued working.

E.C. pulled me along behind him through the kitchen doorway as he shouted at the top of his lungs, "My daddy's here! My daddy's here!" I laughed at his exuberance, and looked to Bella, wondering what expression I would see on her face. I was glad to see Bella quickly smile at us both as we made our way into the kitchen.

"Gramma Sue, my daddy's here. You see him?" E.C. asked, excitement pouring from his words and the cheerful sound of his voice. Panic suddenly flooded me as my eyes met Sue's. Did Bella know that we had met before? Would Sue tell her why we had met? I wasn't sure what to say as Sue began talking.

"Edward, I'm so glad you could make it. It's great to see you again." She smiled at me as I remained still, unsure of what to say. Bella glanced back and forth between us, confusion clear on her face.

"You two know each other? I thought that…" Bella said, finally resting her gaze on me, looking expectantly into my eyes.

"Um, yeah, we met once. You remember, I said your dad gave me your number, right?" I said as she nodded, most likely remembering our conversation the first time I called her. "Well, Sue was here when I came over to see your dad, and I met her then for just a minute."

"Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you said you didn't know them." She was still confused and I tried once more to wipe away her worries.

"I don't know her, I just met her the one time and it was just for a few minutes. Plus, I don't know her kids at all, so that's all I would have meant by it." I stumbled over my words, hoping that they made more sense to her than they did to me.

"Okay, I see." She smiled before turning back to the cutting board where she was chopping vegetables.

Sue dried her hands on a towel before walking over and taking E.C.'s hand. "Come on little man, let's go see if your Grandpa Charlie needs some help, okay?"

"Okay. Daddy, you gonna play wif me, right?" he called over his shoulder as Sue ushered him toward the back door.

"Yep, I'll be out there in a few minutes. You better be ready for me," I told him. He squealed with excitement as he ran ahead of Sue, pushing the door open for her to follow him through. Looking toward Bella I stepped closer to her.

"You need any help?" I asked. I watched her move about as she continued working at her task. My body physically ached to hold her, to place my arms on either side of her and capture her between myself and the cabinets. I felt at ease with her, like there was no place in the world better suited for me, and I reveled in the feeling.

She shook her head, "Nah, I'm pretty much done here. Um, so I just kind of wanted to warn you…about Sue's kids." I nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Seth is great, you'll really like him. He's a funny kid and E.C. really looks up to him. Leah is Sue's daughter. She's around your age and she's great too, but she's kind of reminds me of a bulldog or something." She laughed as she continued. "She's very protective and opinionated, so she might give you a hard time at first. Just don't let them get to you, okay?"

"Okay, I won't. Plus I already know her a little bit from last week, right?" I said, hoping to maybe see how much Leah disliked me after the whole display at the club, from the waitress practically groping me to me basically feeling up Bella in the parking lot.

"Yeah, don't bring that up, just a suggestion." Bella shook her head, continuing to laugh.

I helped her carry the food out onto the back porch and then spent a great afternoon with her and E.C. Charlie was the doting grandfather and it was wonderful to see the bond that he had with my son. I was almost jealous of it, but every time E.C. looked at me, those feelings faded. He loved me, I could see it in his eyes, and it made me happier than I ever had been.

Sue's kids were exactly what Bella said they would be, and I had a lot of fun playing catch with Seth and E.C. Leah sat quietly nearby, observing and most likely trying to decide if I was a good guy or not. Toward the end of the day she was finally speaking to me a bit and I really felt like we had made some progress.

I was thrilled when my family showed up a few hours after lunch. I explained to Charlie that I had invited them and he was very welcoming, insisting they all should stay for dinner, then rushing into the kitchen and readying some steaks to grill later.

At E.C.'s insistence, a family football game was soon in the works and everyone save Rosalie, who was obviously too pregnant to play, and Sue, who claimed she wasn't wearing the right shoes for the occasion, broke up into two teams.

E.C. and I teamed up with Emmett, Charlie, and Bella, while everyone else made up the other team. We were outnumbered by one, but felt it was fair enough since Emmett, Charlie, and I had all played more than our fair share of football over the years. The game was a lot of fun, and even though we were just playing touch football, I still tried to find any excuse I could to carefully tackle Bella to the ground.

"I'm on your team, you doofus!" she yelled at me the first time I did it.

"I know you are."

"So why are pinning me to ground while everyone else is on the other side of the yard fighting over the ball?"

"Because…everyone else is on the other side of the yard fighting over the ball. I gotta steal any alone time with you that I can." I kissed her quickly before jumping up and offering her a hand. She stood up, brushing the grass off of her clothes and laughed at my antics, which continued through the rest of the game.

By the time it was dark and we had finished dinner, my family started to head home, claiming they had work the next day, and that Alice had to finish packing for her and Jasper's honeymoon. Emmett and Rosalie were leaving the next morning as well, driving back to Seattle. Sue and her kids left not long after and Charlie drove back with them after Sue reminded him of the water pipe in her laundry room that needed to be fixed.

Bella and I were watching TV with E.C. when she glanced at the clock, telling him that it was time for bed. He was yawning, but hesitant to go.

"How about a bath first?" she asked.

"No," he pouted.

"Maybe you could show your daddy your bath toys." She looked up at me, obviously hoping for a little encouragement from me.

"Yeah, can I see what you have?" I asked, feigning excitement.

"Okay!" he shouted as he jumped off the couch and raced up the stairs. Bella and I followed and after a bubble bath with his boats, dinosaurs, and Sponge Bob Squarepants toys, he was ready for bed. He asked me to read to him and I quickly complied, laying on the bed next to him and reading The Three Little Pigs twice. He was fast asleep half way through the second reading, but I kept going until the book was finished, enjoying the time I had with him.

His little body was curled up against mine and as I watched him breathing, a wave of love so strong crashed over me. I marveled at how much my life had changed in such a short time and I wondered how I had ever managed without my son in it. I knew I needed to talk to Bella soon or she would most likely never be able to forgive me for the irresponsible things I had done while we were apart, but the thought of endangering my time with my son made me hesitant. I was still trying to come up with a plan when I heard Bella walk through the door.

"Is he asleep?" she softly asked. I looked over at her, nodding. "Come downstairs when you're ready."

"Alright," I whispered, as I gently stroked E.C.'s hair, feeling how soft it was. It still shocked me how much he looked like I did, our hair being the exact same color, but it made me happy. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this little boy was my son, all the best parts of me copied and combined with Bella to make the most incredible person that had ever lived. I only hoped that I could be worthy of his adoration some day.

Later that night as Bella and I sat on the couch, I tried to find some excuse to see her and E.C. every day during the upcoming week that they would be in Forks. We planned lunches and trips to the park, visits with my parents and even a couple of evenings out when it could be just the two of us. I was excited for Tuesday night since she had agreed to go to Port Angeles with me and let my parents watch E.C. As I kissed her good night on her front porch, my mind raced with possibilities of what we could do with that much time alone. I knew it was presumptuous, but I couldn't deny that the thought of renting a hotel room had crossed my mind at one point. I knew I couldn't do it, if for no other reason than I didn't want Bella thinking all I wanted from her was sex. Simply put, the idea of having her all to myself for a few hours was almost intoxicating. Just to be alone with her, doing anything or even nothing, was almost worth the risk of seeming sleazy and over eager.

Each day that passed had E.C. and I growing closer together, while Bella and I fell into a groove that was so comfortable to both of us. We were completely relaxed around each other, but at times I could sense there was something in the way, and often I got the feeling that it was something on her side. My mind kept replaying the conversation between her and Sue that I overheard and I prayed that whatever it was she needed to tell me wouldn't be a big deal. I wanted things to go smoothly between us, but I needed to be prepared in case they didn't.

By the time Tuesday evening rolled around, I was happy, almost giddy with excitement. My parents were going to be watching E.C. and my mother was hoping to have him sleep over, anxious to spend some time taking care of him. Charlie was working a late shift that night, so arrangements were made and E.C. was looking forward to being spoiled by his Granny and Grandpa. I had never seen my mother buy so many different types of candy, cookies, cupcakes, juice boxes… I had no idea children needed all of that variety.

"How come you never bought this kind of stuff when I was little?" I asked her as I peeked through the contents of the pantry before I left to pick up Bella and E.C. I was planning to drop him off before Bella and I went out for the evening.

"Because, I was your mom. It was my job to make sure you got healthy things. Your grandmother spoiled you rotten when you were with her." She smiled, "That's what I get to do now. That's a grandmother's job, Edward. Now, go get my grandson and bring him back here. I have an art project that I want to get done before we have dinner."

She shooed me out the door, not really having to push too much since I was anxious to see Bella and E.C. It had been almost three hours since I had last been with them, and I wondered how on earth I was going to survive almost two weeks away from them after they left to go back to Miami.

After picking them up, we hurried back to my parents' house with E.C. chattering non-stop about his slumber party at Granny's house. It was fun to see him embracing my family and I was happy that things were progressing so well between all of them. He rushed into the house, a blur as he ran past me, and was seated at the kitchen table with juice and cookies before I had even gotten his overnight bag into the house. I wasn't sure if Bella was planning to sleep at her dad's house or here with E.C., but I hoped she'd tell me later in the night of her intentions. I wasn't opposed to her having her own sleep over with me, but I didn't think my parents' would be too excited about_ that_ happening under their roof.

Before we left, Bella walked over to E.C., kneeling down and whispering something into his ear. He nodded in response to her words, and she took his little face into her hands, kissing him lightly on the nose and lips before pressing her forehead to his.

"Love you, baby," she said softly before standing and walking toward me.

"Me too, Momma," he said in response, happily munching away on another cookie. I couldn't stop the urge to say goodnight to him, and I went to the table, bending down in front of him.

"Be good for Granny and Grandpa, alright?" I told him, lightness in my words.

"Okie dokie," he said, laughing as the smirk that had grown on my face.

I leaned in a little closer to him and said quietly so that only he could hear, "They're getting kind of old, take it easy on them. I told Granny that you can sleep in my room if you want to, does that sound good?"

He nodded profusely as I leaned in, kissing him on the cheek and ruffling his hair with my hand. "I'll see you later then, okay buddy boy?"

"Okay Daddy." I happily walked back over to Bella, a smile firmly planted on my face and just as we started for the front door, I heard E.C. behind me speak to my mother.

"Hey Granny, Daddy says you're old."

"You're Daddy said what about me?" my mother called out in mock exasperation. "Well, I'll show him whose boss, won't I?" E.C. giggled and I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist, ushering her to the door before I could get into anymore trouble with my mom.

"Obviously, you need to figure out the things you can and can't say to a three year old," Bella said, a snicker in her voice and a mischievous smile on her face. I had so much to learn.

The long drive to Port Angeles was filled with conversation and discussions of music choices, lingering touches and loving glances. I was completely taken with Bella, as I hoped she was with me. We went to a movie first, Bella claiming that she wasn't very hungry yet. After the movie, we went to dinner and then decided to go to a club. There were a lot of good ones in the city, most of which I had been to quite a bit in the past couple of years. Bella didn't know about that, or what I had done in most of those places. In the back of my mind I was still wrestling with how and when I should tell her. I hadn't come to any conclusions yet, and I knew I was wasting time, effectively digging a bigger grave for myself.

I thought about suggesting that we go and shoot some pool at the club we had been to the week before, but then I remembered Wendy and how Bella reacted to seeing her with me. I knew Wendy worked most weeknights, so it was probably a safe bet that she was working that night too. I thought about other places and finally decided on a little hole in the wall bar that was pretty great. They had live music and I wondered if maybe I could get Bella to dance with me while we were there. I drove to the building and parked, asking her if she thought it would be okay. She nodded and I hurried out of the car and around to her side to get the door.

There was a short line of people waiting to get in, but I recognized the bouncer and waved as we approached. We stood in line for a few minutes, making small talk about the movie we had just seen. Bella wondered aloud how E.C. was doing and I told her that we could call my mother if she was worried. She insisted that she wasn't and that she was just nervous and really wanted things to go well between them. I noticed her shivering a bit, the short sleeved shirt she had on not doing a good job at keeping her warm. So, I slid off my jacket, wrapping her up in it as she smiled up at me. I bent down, kissing her softly several times before we finally got to the front of the line.

The bouncer, Todd, jumped up and pulled me into a half hug, half handshake thing that all guys do, and greeted me excitedly.

"Man, haven't seen you here in forever, Edward! How you been?"

I smiled back, "I'm good. Looks busy tonight."

"Oh yeah, we're packed. It's a good crowd, lots of your regulars in there. You oughtta feel right at home tonight."

I laughed as he ushered us in. The place was really crowded and loud, and before I knew what was happening, I heard my name being yelled across the room. I looked over to see several of my friends and one of my teammates seated at the bar. Matt was a receiver on the UW football team and I hadn't seen him since our last game in December. He hurt his leg in the last few seconds of the game, and rather than taking the pain seriously, he went skiing the next day, worsening the stress fracture that he had in his ankle joint. He wound up in a cast and flat in bed, having to take off from school for the spring semester. I was thrilled to see him up and around and even happier at the thought of being able to catch up a bit.

"Edward! Where you been, man? Haven't seen you in ages!" Matt called out, jumping up from his chair and running toward me, throwing his arm around my shoulders as he pulled me into the group.

"Hey! You look great, all healed up I see," I joked back at him.

"Yeah, it's miraculous what a little time in bed will do for you, especially when you have doting nurses to help." We laughed as he smirked and raised an eye brow, obviously not talking about real nurses.

"That's great," I said, looking around and enjoying all the familiar faces I saw. I briefly hoped that Bella wouldn't be too put off by my friends, but knowing that she would like them once we settled in a bit. I looked back, reaching for her so I could introduce her to my friends, but before I knew what was happening, I felt another arm around me.

"Edward!" a light voice yelled. I turned to see a tall blonde flinging herself at me. My arms reached out in an effort to brace myself, automatically wrapping around her as she latched on to me. "I've missed you, baby!" she said.

Shelly was a gorgeous wannabe swimsuit model that I had spent quite a few nights with. She had done a lot of modeling, but unfortunately her binge drinking and dabbling in drugs caused her to miss too many appointments and she lost her modeling contract. As a teenager, she had been a gymnast before finally growing too tall to complete anymore. I had always enjoyed that fact, especially since what they said about gymnasts proved to be true, especially in her case. Gymnasts were very bendy, and I had bent her in ways I thought were only possible in my imagination.

"Hey Shelly, how are you?" I asked as I tried to distance myself from her as quickly as I could, unsure of how Bella would react to this situation.

"I'm good baby, how are you? Where have you been keeping yourself? I've missed you…" She pouted her lips, looking up at me with her best puppy dog eyes. Just as I was about to pull away from her, she tightened her grip and forced her lips against mine. It took me a second to realize what she was doing, and she took advantage of my hesitation, shoving her tongue between my lips that had parted as I began to say something in response to her questions. I felt her fingers in my hair and it felt wrong. Her body was pressed against mine and it made me sick. I quickly snapped out of it, grabbing her by the waist and pushing her away.

"Shelly, knock it off. I'm here with my girlfriend," I said in a low growl, anger seeping out through my tone.

She laughed, talking very loudly. "Yeah, right, Edward Cullen doesn't have girlfriends, remember? He has one night stands, except for the few of us that were lucky enough to wrangle him into the sack more than once. I always kept you coming back again and again, didn't I, baby?" Her fingers were threading through my hair as she pulled herself back up to me. I stepped away, shaking my head at her.

"Not anymore. I have a girlfriend now and it's serious, so you need to knock this off." I stepped away from her, pulling her hands out of my hair and off of my body. Bella was going to be furious with me and I wanted to make sure it was clear I had in no way encouraged Shelly's behavior.

Matt looked at me, shock clear on his face. "Are you kidding with me? Dude, you were the biggest man whore on the team, what happened? I thought you loved the ladies, and as many different ones as you could." All of my friends started to laugh and my stomach clenched, not liking where this conversation was headed, and even more upset about Bella hearing it.

I turned around to get her, but she wasn't there. I looked all around me and couldn't find her. Turning back to Matt I asked, "Hey, did you see the girl I came in here with? The brunette, she's wearing a blue shirt? Did you see her?"

"No man, I didn't see you come in with anyone," he answered.

"The short girl? Brown eyes?" Shelly asked.

"Yeah, did you see her? Where did she go?"

"She ducked into the bathroom after you guys walked in. I'm sure she'll be out in a minute. Until then, come sit with me; let me buy you a drink." I knew Shelly well enough to know that buying me a drink wasn't what she was after, so I politely declined her offer, insisting instead on staying where I was and waiting for Bella to return from the bathroom.

After about five minutes, I started to worry. I reached down to grab my phone and text her, but realized it was in my jacket pocket, and my jacket was on Bella. I told Matt and the rest of the group that I would be back as I turned around, determined to find my girlfriend. I walked over to the restrooms where there were several people standing around the entrance, but no Bella. I leaned against the wall, waiting for her to come out.

After what seemed like an hour, but was probably only five or ten minutes, I finally approached one of the girls that was standing against the opposite wall.

"Excuse me, have you been standing here long?" I asked.

She looked up at me, a grin growing on her face. "Um, yeah, for a while." I noticed her giving me 'the look' and I decided I didn't need anymore bad luck that night.

"I think my girlfriend went in there, but she hasn't come out yet." Her happy expression vanished when I said the word girlfriend, and I knew I most likely wouldn't get anything else from her, unless I turned on the charm. Smiling the smile I knew girls couldn't resist, I quietly asked, "Would go mind going in there for me and checking to see if she's okay? I would really appreciate it." She seemed at a loss for words, simply nodding before hurrying into the bathroom. _Works every time_, I thought to myself.

The door opened and she came walking out. "I'm sorry, there's no one in there."

My mouth dropped open from shock as my heart began to ache with worry. _Where was she?_ My mind ran in a thousand different directions, a million different scenarios playing out, and I couldn't help but start to panic. I mumbled a thank you before turning and walking back into the main part of the bar. I heard Matt and Shelly calling to me, but I continued past them, heading for the door wondering if maybe Todd had seen her and knew where she went. He was busy at the door, checking I.D.'s as I approached him. "Hey, did you see the girl I came in here with? Bella, my girlfriend? Do you know where she went?" Todd glared at me, then turned back to help someone else. I wondered why he would give a look like that and stood waiting for him to say something. After a few moments, it was blatantly obvious he wasn't going to talk to me any more.

"Todd, did you see her? I can't find her anywhere."

"Yeah, I saw her, but you looked pretty busy with your blonde so I didn't figure you were that into the brunette." _What?_ I thought back to Shelly and her attacking me just after I walked into the bar. Is that what he meant?

"Are you talking about Shelly? How she jumped on me and then I pushed her away? Is that what you mean?" I asked, getting a little upset at his attitude toward me. We had always been very friendly and I wasn't sure where this hostility was coming from.

"Yep, that's what I mean. Though, to be honest, it didn't look like you were pushing her away when her tongue was down your throat." He glared at me as the thought of how I must have looked made me want to throw up.

"Did Bella see that?" I asked, afraid of the answer as he nodded his head. "Crap, where did she go?"

Todd cleared his throat, checking the I.D.'s of another couple as they entered the bar. "Dude, Edward, do you know the girl you brought here tonight?" he asked.

"Yes, I've known her since I was seventeen, why?"

"How old is she?"

"I don't know, why?" I questioned, tired of his small talk. I needed to find Bella and he knew where she was.

"She's twenty. Did you realize that when you brought her here? Did you stop to think that she wouldn't be able to get in?" _Oh no, she's underage you idiot!_ My mind screamed as I realized that Bella hadn't had her birthday yet, she was still a few weeks away from it. I shook my head in response to his questions, wondering to myself why she had agreed to come here knowing she wasn't twenty one yet. Maybe she hadn't been out in a while and she didn't know the age requirements. Then again, maybe things in Miami were different then they were in Washington. Either way, I should have known, but it never even crossed my mind because she always seemed so much older and more mature than she actually was. She had always been more grown up than I was, and now seeing her as a mother to our son, she didn't seem like any other twenty year old girl I had ever known. How could I have been so stupid?

"Look Edward, we're friends, but I couldn't let her in here, I'd lose my job and I have bills to pay, you know? I had her wait with me for a second and then when the door cleared, I walked her in to find you. That's when we saw you sucking face with that blonde, who by the way was already attached to a few other guys tonight. You may want to mouthwash that mouth of yours, pronto!" he said with a disgusted tone in his voice.

"Where did she go, Todd? I need to find her." I begged him to tell me, hoping that he would see the sincerity in my eyes.

"She ran out. I don't know where she went, but you have some major work to do with her, and I would strongly suggest you start off with an apology, like on your hands and knees as you kiss her feet, kind of apology. That look on her face…it wasn't good, Edward." He looked at me sadly, and I knew he was right. I had to find her.

"Thank you Todd, I appreciate this and thanks for trying to help her. If she comes back, please keep her here for me, okay?" He nodded his agreement and I ran out the door, looking up the down the street to see if I could spot her. There was nothing.

I sighed in defeat as I decided to get my car and drive around until I found her, or at least found a phone that I could use to call her with. As I approached my car, I could see someone inside of it. I started running, angry that someone was in my car, but ground to a halt when I realized who it was—Bella.

She was sitting in the passenger seat, her head down, with my jacket still around her shoulders. I slowly walked to the car, opening the driver's door and sliding in. I gently closed it and we sat in silence for several moments before I finally turned to look at her. The expression on her face scared me; it was completely blank. There were no tears, anger or frustration…just a haunted look that I had never seen on Bella before.

"Bella? Are you okay? Will you let me explain what happened in there?" I asked, sorrow and regret seeping into my words.

She continued looking down at her hands, her fingers twisting together, as she took a big breath. Her voice was only a shaky whisper. "I want to go home."

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Uh oh, trouble in paradise? Oh, you know it! :D Now that E.C. is preoccupied with his Granny and the endless sugar supply she seems to have purchased, he won't be getting in the way of that big reveal. :D We got one secret out of the way, but there are more to go.**

****Okay, quick timeline before anyone gets mad at me.****

**Edward was 17 when he met Bella. He was a Senior in high school.  
****Bella was 16 when she met Edward. She was a Sophomore in high school, same as Alice.  
****Bella was 16 ½ when she got pregnant and 17 when she had E.C. Edward was 18 by that point.  
****It is now August in the story, meaning Edward has already had his birthday (June) and Bella has yet to have her birthday (September). E.C. was born in November.  
****As of now, Bella is 20 and Edward is 22. E.C. is 3.**

**Got it? :D**

**How about some rec's? Okay…**

_**Love on Wheels**_** by Bratty-Vamp - **_**It's fast... it's fun... it's 1978! The most 'not-to-be-taken-seriously-fic' you'll ever be tempted to take seriously! Trying my hand at fluff this time around. So lace up your quads and let's get groovy.  
**_**I was waiting to start this story, but I couldn't anymore. It's wonderful! Bratty-Vamp is one of my favorite authors, I always love her stories. They are just so good, she never goes wrong with them. This one is so fun, all her 70's references remind me of when I was a kid. :D It's fun!  
****http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5923428/1/**

_**Paper CutOuts**_** by twistedcoincidence - **_**Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story.  
**_**This story is only 2 chapters in, but it's so, SO good! It's a collab between twistedcoincidence and astilbe13 and I can't wait for more! :D  
****http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5993964/1/Paper_CutOuts**

**And something complete…**

_**You're Not Sorry**_** by edwardandbellabelong2gether - **_**Bella, Emmett and Jasper are siblings. Edward, Alice and Rose are siblings. James and Jacob are Edward's best friends. Edward is that guy that always listens to his friends and makes dumb choices with them. How much will Bella put up with before she says enough is enough? How far are James and Jacob willing to go to keep Bella out of the picture?  
**_**This story was incredible, so much angst! I loved it!  
****http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5509845/1/Youre_Not_Sorry**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile.**

**AND! I have an o/s coming out tomorrow, so if you want to read the insanity I came up with, make sure you have me on author favorites or alerts so that you'll get the pretty little email notice saying it's been posted. All I'm gonna say is this…Edward is a bad, bad boy… :D**

**Leave me some love and then go check out those rec's! You'll love 'em! :)**


	13. Chapter 13 Forever

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a birthday, and it's today. Since I'm so kind and giving (yeah, I know, I'm laughing hysterically too) I decided to celebrate by giving you a little present instead. :D And this isn't the only gift you're getting, but more on that in a minute.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore.**_** She called me Honey Bean the other day, and we didn't know what it meant. I did a little research…I'm either a Jelly Belly jelly bean, a coffee bean, or bean curd. I think I'm going with the Jelly Bean… :)**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** I got to go to lunch at my favorite Mexican Food restaurant with Missy V the other day and it was fun. I just wish my Baby G and La V could have joined us… :(**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. Twilight44 is branching out and prereading other stories now, and I'm so proud…I can say I knew her when. :D And Unchanged Affections made me something amazing for my birthday. It's a little video with two of my favorite men – Robert Pattinson and Michael Vartan. I plan to watch it repeatedly for several days…and taunt uberbeta, since she has a love for those two boys that rivals my own. :D**

**K, so in addition to this chapter today, I'm also posting the first chapter in the continuation of another o/s I wrote**_**, What I Really Meant To Say**_**. I'm excited about it, so I hope you'll love it. :)**

**Thanks for always being so wonderful to me…I couldn't be more grateful for each and every one of you. You've made this past year something amazing for me and I could never say thank you enough. :) **

**Here we go…you know what's coming.**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 13 - Forever

_Sitting by a fire on a lonely night  
__Hanging over from another good time,  
__With another girl... little dirty girl  
__You should listen to this story of a life.  
__You're my heroine-in this moment I'm lonely fulfilling my darkest dreams.  
__All these drugs all these women  
__I'm never forgiven... this broken heart of mine._

_Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever,  
__Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever._

"Forever" by Papa Roach

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

"Bella? Are you okay? Will you let me explain what happened in there?" I asked, sorrow and regret seeping into my words. She continued looking down at her hands, her fingers twisting together, as she took a big breath. Her voice was only a shaky whisper.

"I want to go home." Her words saddened me, though I was in no way surprised. The fact that she hadn't run away—that she was sitting in my car—gave me some hope that maybe she would listen to me, just as she had promised.

I knew I didn't deserve it - her keeping her word to me after I had lied to her for weeks -but that didn't stop me from dreaming she would. We sat in silence, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife, and as the seconds ticked by, my resolve grew. This was it; I had to tell her everything. I knew it would hurt her, and most likely I would lose her, but I hadn't told her so far and yet here we were. Keeping her in the dark about my past was not working either, I was losing her anyway, so what other choice did I have?

"Please, just let me tell you what was going on. It's not what you think." I kept my voice gentle as I watched her closely to see if she would have any emotion, any reaction to my words.

"I just want to go home, Edward. This was a mistake, I want to go home." Her voice was still quiet, a whisper, but I could hear the pain in it. It was breaking my heart.

"Let's go somewhere else. Let's just drive or get ice cream or something, anything Bella, let's just get out of here." Watching her pull away from me was difficult. I was desperate to talk to her, have a chance to explain all the things that had been haunting me. If I could just find a way to keep her with me, find an opportunity to tell her, I hoped that maybe I could make her listen.

She turned to look at me, her eyes hardened by what she had seen me doing just moments before. "If you don't want to take me home then I'll call my dad, he'll come get me."

"Bella please...please don't do this. Just stay with me, please. Anything, we'll do anything you want," I begged her. The idea that she would be willing to ask her dad to drive an hour to pick her up had me freaked out. How could things have gotten so far off track? I was starting to panic as the severity of the situation finally began to dawn on me. She really did want to get away from me and I had to find a way to fix things before it was too late.

She glanced down, her eyes leaving mine for a moment before looking back to me. Her words came softly and the sorrow in her eyes made me want to vomit. "Please Edward, just take me home."

I let out a deep sigh, my eyelids sliding closed as my brow furrowed. As I spoke, my voice was filled with anguish, tinged with pleading, "I don't want to take you home yet, Bella." She sat quietly, while I waited for the sound of the door opening, or her screaming and yelling at me. There was nothing.

When I looked back toward her, I was surprised to see her staring silently at my phone that she held in her hands. She slid it open, looking at the screen. Her fingers were soon gliding over the buttons and it dawned on me what she was doing—she was looking through my phone book. With each push of her finger, her eyes got mistier, and by the time she was done, tears were falling down her cheeks. I knew what she had seen—all the girls' names and phone numbers. I hadn't called any of them in months, but I knew they were still there.

She dropped the phone into the center console and put her hands in her lap, her head dropping forward as she started to cry. I watched as her shoulders began to shake and she made a sniffling sound, showing how much she was suffering because of my actions and choices. I knew it was over; I had blown my chance with her. If only I'd been honest maybe it would have been different, but I was too chicken to tell her the truth, and I lost her anyway.

With defeat in my tone, I gently pushed my key into the ignition. "I'll take you home," I whispered, trying to not show any of the frustration and despair I was feeling in that moment. She kept her head bowed and I didn't fight the tears that slid down my cheeks. My heart was broken over this girl and I knew that hers was broken over me as well. What a pair we made, both of us too scared to tell the truth to the other in an effort to save them pain, yet only causing it to magnify with deception and secrecy.

The drive back to Forks usually took about an hour, but at the snails pace I was going, it would take even longer than that. We were silent, only the sounds of our breathing and the tires on the road breaking through. I glanced carefully toward her every so often, noticing that her eyes stayed glued to the window, watching outside as we drove. Her cheeks were still wet and I knew she hadn't stopped crying, but I didn't know if there was anything that I could do for her. I knew that if she accepted help from someone, she wouldn't want it to be me.

I thought over things as we drove; over all the different chances I had to come clean with her. I didn't know if it would have made that much of a difference in the way things turned out, but in my perfect world I had confessed the first time we spoke and she had forgiven me without a second thought. _Some fantasy world you're living in, Cullen_. Like that would ever happen. I knew someone as wonderful as Bella should never settle for a mess up like me, and part of me was actually relieved that all the waiting was finally over. She finally knew what I really was, and she was getting out before it was too late. For some sick reason I was actually proud of her for it.

About fifteen miles before we reached Forks, she cleared her throat. "Why did you leave me at the door?" Her voice was raw with emotion and it crackled as she tried to speak loud enough for me to hear her.

I looked over at her, seeing that she was still staring out the window. "I thought you were right behind me. I didn't even think about the age thing, I just wanted us to do something fun. The music is always really good there, and I never thought about you getting carded." I paused, waiting for her to say something, but she didn't. "I saw my friend Matt and I hadn't seen him in a while, I just got caught up for a moment. I really thought you were right there, Bella. I never meant to leave you alone, not for one second."

She nodded, sniffling a little. "How long until you realized I wasn't there?"

"Like thirty seconds, maybe. I said a couple of things to Matt and then I reached back to get you and that's when Shelly showed up. I pushed her away and turned around, but you were gone. Why did you take off on me? I had no idea where you were; I thought you were in the bathroom. I waited for you for like fifteen minutes." Frustration began to show through my words, and I instantly regretted it, even though I felt like I had a right to be upset, too. I had been tried and convicted without even being able to present my case to Bella. Why couldn't she be as understanding as I had been to her only a few nights before?

She turned to me, anger in her eyes. "Why would you think I was in the bathroom? Did you think I would just leave you like that? Without even saying anything?"

"My friends told me they'd seen you go that way. I thought that's where you were." Her fury was growing; I could see it plain as day on her face and in her eyes.

"Let me guess, your blonde slut friend, is she the one that told you where I was?" The pain in her words hit me like a sledge hammer. Of course that's how she would see the girls I associated with. The sad thing was that she was right. I had spent years with girls like that and never cared, probably because I liked what they were. It filled a need and I preferred someone easy that wouldn't ask anything extra of me, to someone nice that would want a commitment. I realized as she spoke that it _was_ Shelly that told me.

"Yeah, it was her."

"Did you notice that I was standing right behind you when she made the comment about how many times she'd been with you? How you never had girlfriends, only one night stands? Did you see that she was staring right at me? Your bouncer friend walked me in so that I could find you, and lucky me, I got to hear all about your _activities_ and then see her tongue shoved down your throat." Her tone was clearly upset, but I could sense something more in it—she sounded hurt by what she'd seen.

"I noticed her looking over my shoulder, but I was so furious with her that I didn't pay attention to where she was looking. I just wanted to get her away from me." I was growing more frustrated by the minute and knew that if this conversation was really going to happen, I was going to have to pull over somewhere. I couldn't spill my guts to this girl and still manage to keep my car on the road.

"How could you be so blind to not see that she was setting me up, Edward?" Bella mumbled quietly.

A few minutes later, I finally saw my chance—an old logging road that led to a large meadow with old buildings. While in high school I had been there many times for parties with my friends, but I hadn't been there since meeting Bella. I didn't even know if it all the old wood mill buildings still stood, but I didn't need all of that. I just needed the quiet, so I pulled off the main highway.

As I turned onto the gravel road, Bella looked to me, a puzzled look in her eyes, though her voice sounded nervous as she spoke. "What are you doing? I thought you were taking me home."

I met her frightened stare, "I am, but first we're gonna talk about some things, because like it or not, we have to work this out. We have a son to think about, and I'm not letting you just walk out of my life again. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep you with me, no matter what. I've been hiding this for the last few weeks, afraid to tell you because I thought you would hate me, but you hate me anyways, so what do I have to lose now, you know?"

She nodded and dropped her gaze to my phone which still lay in between us. "Should I call my dad? Is this gonna be a while?"

I huffed in annoyance at her trying so hard to be rid of me. "No, don't call him. You can just tell him tomorrow that you stayed at my house with E.C. He's working tonight anyway, no reason to bother him." I stared silently into the dark forest that lay ahead of us. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella's bottom lip shaking. Looking to her I asked, "What? What's wrong?"

Her voice was a fearful whisper, "Are you going to leave me out here?"

"What? No! Why would you ever think that? I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you. Don't you know that?" As I thought about what I was doing, I realized that keeping the truth from her had, in fact, hurt her. Though not in the way she was now talking about.

"I just thought you might be angry with me... I didn't know." She was quiet as I pulled off on the side of the road, making sure not to go too far into the soft dirt. With all the mud that was usually in the area, the last thing I needed was to get us stuck. I turned off the car and darkness enveloped us. Only the moon and stars that were shining brightly on this rare, clear night offered us any light.

"So, I should probably start at the beginning, get everything out. Please Bella, please promise me that you will hear me out. Please don't leave during the middle of this." My hands grasped the steering wheel, rolling back and forth over it as my knuckles turned white from the strain. "I was afraid to tell you because what I have to say is only going to prove that I'm not worthy of you. You should find someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved, that can be all the things you need him to be. My life has been one huge mistake after another since you left, Bella. Maybe it always was, I just hid it well, but after you left me, I didn't care anymore. Please promise me, please...don't leave."

Chancing a look over at her, I watched as she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. "I promise, I won't go. I owe you that much."

Nodding in agreement, I began. "When you left me..." I swallowed roughly, clearing my voice before I tried to continue. "Before I ever met you, I was just a guy, nothing special or important. I did what I thought guys were supposed to do and I didn't care about anything. I let my friends decide most of my actions, and I was good at keeping the bad things a secret. My parents never knew that I partied, skipped school or hung out with girls. I'd never had a girlfriend before you, not a real one anyway. I had girls I dated, but either they didn't want to do what I thought we were supposed to do, or else that's all they wanted...they didn't really want me, they just wanted to add my name to their list of conquests.."

I remembered back over my days before Bella came into my life. There hadn't been a lot of girls before her, but there were definitely quite a few. Bella knew about some of them and while it bothered her, it seemed as though she had come to terms with it. I wasn't an angel before her, and I certainly hadn't been one since her, but she was all I'd ever really wanted. I had to find a way to convince her that she was the only girl that ever mattered to me.

"When I met you, everything changed. My friends would tease me about being tied down or whipped, but I didn't care. All I wanted was you, and I didn't want it to be like it always had been before. I didn't want to treat you the way I'd treated those other girls. You were different… special… and I made it my goal in life to make sure you knew that. That's why I never pushed you for sex, even though you thought it meant I didn't want you. I did want you, but I wanted you forever, not just for a couple of go rounds under the bleachers or something."

Bella sat quietly by, taking slow breaths as she listened to me, hearing the words I was saying.

"Those three months before you left were the best three months of my entire life. I have never been as happy as I was then. I had everything I'd ever wanted, or ever would want, and I was content, at peace. I loved you and I knew that you loved me, too. The way I felt when I was with you is something I can't even begin to put into words. It was everything..." I fought the urge to reach across and take her hand, but was startled when she looked up at me.

"Those were your happiest times up until then, right?" she asked.

"No, they were the happiest times of my entire life, until then and since then. Everything was perfect when I had you." Her brow furrowed a bit and she bit her lower lip, sucking it into her mouth a little. Apparently she hadn't known what she meant to me, how much I truly loved her.

"When you left me, you broke me, Bella. I was completely caught off guard, I had no idea what happened between us. I knew you'd been in a bad mood for a few days, but I never thought it was enough to make you leave me. Looking back, knowing what I know now, it makes sense, but then...I didn't know. I thought I'd done something wrong. I thought I'd hurt you in some way. I thought I just wasn't enough for you." I was never this emotional, but as I choked back a sob, the tears stinging my eyes, I realized this was it. This moment would make or break my chance at happiness. If I didn't show Bella how I really felt, I would never be able to convince her of what she meant to me. I had nothing to hide anymore, I was laying my soul out for her, baring it like I never had before, and entrusting her with all I had to offer.

"You were always enough for me, I'm so sorry I made you think that." Bella reached her hand across the space dividing us and wrapped it around mine. I watched as her thumb rubbed across my knuckles, letting the warmth of her touch envelop me completely. When she slowly removed it, placing her hand back on her lap, I felt the loss immediately and ached for her to touch me again. She whispered softly, "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry."

"I felt like I died that night; when your dad told me you were gone. Then when I talked to you and you said you didn't want to see me and that I shouldn't try to find you...I didn't understand. I went over and over things in my mind, trying to figure out what I did or didn't do, where I went wrong, but there was nothing. I tried talking to Alice but she just clammed up, she wouldn't say anything. She'd either yell at me or cry, and I was so hurt and just frustrated that I finally quit asking." Recalling those days was hard, painful, and I wished that somehow I could have them wiped from my memory, but I knew that could never happen.

"I completely withdrew from everyone and everything. My parents sent me to some shrink, thinking I just needed to talk to someone. My dad kept bringing home these pamphlets on suicide and depression, I couldn't understand why. I really scared them; they thought they'd lost me. I just sat at home all summer, not seeing my friends or getting ready for school and football. I hardly ate anything and when my dad dragged me to my first team meeting in July, my coach didn't even recognize me."

I was embarrassed of the way I had let myself go in Bella's absence. I simply didn't care about anything anymore, including myself. I especially didn't care about football or school, and I had no intention of going until my dad and Emmett sat me down one night and told me I had two choices-football or a mental hospital. I chose football, though my heart wasn't in it.

"I showed up for my first day of practice and literally got the crap beat out of me. Lying in my bed that night, feeling all the aches and pains, it actually felt good. I was finally able to feel something, and I was almost happy about it. I went to practice the rest of the week and didn't even put up a fight. Every inch of my body was black and blue by the weekend, and I loved it." Looking up at Bella, I saw the tears welled up in her eyes.

"Edward, why? Why would you feel that way? You were hurting yourself, why would you do that?" she said, unable to understand the depths of my heartbreak.

"I did it because it made me feel alive, and I needed to feel again, Bella. I was numb after you. I felt nothing. No joy, sorrow, anger, guilt, nothing. At least when a three hundred pound defensive tackle was pinning me to the ground, my body felt pain. That was the first thing in months, and I couldn't let it go."

She shook her head in disbelief and once again I was embarrassed about my actions. I had a lot more to tell her, and I knew if I didn't keep going I would never get through it all.

"My coach was worried about me. The first game, I showed up and sat on the bench. I was third string, a freshman, so I never expected to see any playing time. I wasn't working out, lifting weights, running—I just didn't care. My third game of the season was a wakeup call. The starting QB got hurt and they put the number two in, but he sucked. He kept throwing interceptions and making a fool of himself. The coach yelled for me and I went in. I spent the whole second half on my back underneath their tackles, but I never turned over the ball. After that, the coach put me on a mandatory workout routine and gave me a _babysitter_."

Going into college, I was aware of that fact that I would most likely not play much my first couple of years, but before I knew it, I was playing regularly and then was the starting quarterback my Sophomore year. I loved the thrill of being on the field and the attention my position created for me.

"I had this guy, James, and he was huge. He was a senior and an offensive lineman. Coach told him he was pretty much responsible for me. It scared me at first, how serious he was about it, but I just did what he said and it was fine. He was kind of a weird guy, but after a game one night he took me to a party and told me to sit in the corner and drink, so I did. I got so completely wasted that night, I didn't care about anything, and it felt good. That combined with the physical pain I was dealing with gave me a new way to hide from you and your memory.

"Every time I turned around there was something that reminded me of you. I'd see girls with long brown hair walking away from me and I rush to them, hoping it was you, but it never was. I'd hear someone laugh and I'd search the crowd because it sounded just like you. I'd see cherry slushies and remember how you always ordered one when we went to the movies. I'd see those stupid crime solving shows on television and remember the way you always conned me into watching them with you. Everything around me reminded me of what I didn't have anymore, and it was slowly driving me insane. I needed something to take the pain away, something that could make me feel better, even if just for a little while."

Bella sighed, obviously not happy about the things that she was hearing, but I knew it was only going to get worse. She needed to understand the frame of mind I was in when I started fooling around with other women. I needed her to know that it wasn't really me doing that, it wasn't the Edward she had known who was doing these things. It was the shell of my former self, that she discarded away, that was in control and living life so recklessly and stupidly.

"The next week James took me to another party and told me to sit in the corner, only this time there was someone already there. Some girl, I don't know who she was, but she kept bringing me beers. She laughed a lot and she was nice to me. It felt good to have someone want me like that again." My brow furrowed as I remembered the feelings that girl had caused in me, the emotions her actions stirred up inside of me. "She made me feel wanted, Bella, and I hadn't felt like that in a really long time. So when she asked me to leave with her, I did. She said James was okay with it, he was busy with her friend anyway. When she kissed me, it felt wrong, but at least someone wanted to kiss me. My body craved the attention, the touching, and I didn't care that it was wrong and that I didn't know her name, I just wanted to feel something."

I looked up at Bella, tears beginning to slide down her soft pink cheeks again. I hated doing this to her, but I couldn't hide it anymore. I didn't want to hide it. I wanted this all out in the open so that we could deal with it and move on, if that was even possible, but I needed to know if this was what she wanted. "Do you want me to stop?" I asked, honestly not knowing what her response would be.

"No, just tell me," she said in a small, tired voice. She had always liked to just get through painful things as quickly as possible, so I didn't hold back.

"I had sex with her in the bathroom of her apartment. She wanted to watch in the mirror while we did it, so she probably did. I wouldn't know, I had my eyes closed the whole time, imagining it was you. It wasn't exactly the same, but if I thought hard enough, I could almost see you, smell you even. All I wanted was you, and you weren't there. I'm so sorry, Bella, but I wanted you." I felt a sob break from my chest, and I gasped for breath as I let the hot, wet tears fall from my eyes.

"I walked home from her apartment afterward and when I got to my room, I dropped onto my bed and cried myself to sleep. I swear I heard your voice during the night, but you weren't there. The next morning I threw up, not because of the beer, but because of what I'd done. The following week when I was at the next party, it was easier. There was another girl and she made me feel wanted, feel desired. It was the same as the first girl, if I closed my eyes enough and thought about you, it was almost like you were there. After I did it a few times, I realized if I was drunk enough, it didn't matter. If I had alcohol in my system, and a girl paid attention to me, I'd be fine."

I remembered the way the guys on the team had cheered me on upon hearing about my exploits, thinking I was finally getting out of my funk because I was screwing a different girl every weekend. If only they had cared enough to see that I was just falling deeper, I wasn't getting any better. I was becoming more numb with each new girl, each new apartment I went to. My longing for Bella simply grew, it never faded away.

"The only time I ever couldn't get my little routine to work was one night in November, we'd won a game and were advancing into a bowl game qualifying round. I drank so much that night, but something was just off, I couldn't figure it out. Some girl took me home, but her roommate was there. Jasper was at my place, so we went back to my car. Even just sitting in it with her, I knew something was wrong. I couldn't have her in my car—our car—I told her to leave and I spent the rest of the night curled up in the backseat, thinking about our first time there. The night always stuck with me, I don't know why. I figured it had to be that she had brown hair like you because, I mean, what's so special about the middle of November?" I had always been confused as to why I felt so off kilter that night, but I never knew.

Bella looked at me strangely, her wide brown eyes showing confusion. "A Saturday night in the middle of November?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered, wondering why she would be concerned about a random night in the past.

"E.C. was born on a Saturday night in November." She was quiet, both of us silently acknowledging the strange pull I must have had to her that day. If only I'd known then, I could have fixed everything.

"I didn't know that." There was a lot about Bella and E.C.'s past that I didn't know, but I prayed that maybe one day I would find out. I couldn't let all of the questions that were entering my mind sidetrack me, I had to tell her everything else that I'd been hiding before I lost my nerve. Deciding it was best to skip over some of the gory details, I jumped ahead a little.

"By my junior year I had things pretty much down to a routine. Weekends were for playing ball, getting drunk, and finding someone to lose myself in. All I wanted was to feel like someone needed me, you know? I felt that way when I was with you, and I thought if I could just have that back, then maybe I could find a way to make it through each day. It didn't seem to work that way. Those girls were nothing like you, Bella. I think that's why I was able to do it. You called Shelly a slut, and you're right. She is one. Every girl I was with was a slut. That sounds horrible to say, but it's true." I stared at the steering wheel, coming to terms with the choices I had made, trying to figure out why I had made them.

"I looked for girls that just wanted one thing from me. I couldn't give my heart to anyone because I didn't have it to give. It was with you, it belonged to you. All I had left was the body that you didn't want, so I gave them that instead. I didn't have girlfriends, I didn't date and I didn't have relationships of any kind with girls. I had sex with them, and that was it. There was no happiness, no joy, no passion, no completeness; it was lust and a momentary feeling of acceptance. That's all it ever was. It couldn't be more than that, because I couldn't be more than that. I'm so sorry, Bella. Not one of those girls ever held a candle to you."

Feelings of regret were consuming me as Bella sat silently by, burning in her own private hell that I had caused and then sentenced her to. "Did you care about any of them at all?" she softly asked, her voice thick with emotions, though I couldn't decide which one was most prevalent.

"No, not one of them. Um, I was friends with a couple of girls, but they never wanted more than that, which is why the friendships worked. They knew the deal—we met up, hung out, screwed around, and went home. No biggie." She flinched at my apparent lack of emotion for these girls, before asking another question.

"Did it help you? Being with all of them? Did you feel better afterwards?" I couldn't lie to her, though I got the feeling she would have been happier if I had said yes.

"No, I didn't feel better, because I didn't have you."

"Edward..." Her voice was quiet, concerned. I could hear disappointment in it, laced with something else, shame maybe? Guilt, or even disgust? I wasn't sure.

I turned to face her, reaching over and grabbing her hand in mine. "I love you, Bella. I have never loved anyone else, ever. You are it for me. I told you that I don't see other girls, and it's true. I don't see them. I have never looked at another girl the way I look at you. I have never talked to another girl the way I talk to you. I have never given myself to another girl the way that I have given myself to you. And I have never wanted another girl the way I want you. There is no other option, Bella. It's you..."

Tears streamed down her face as she slowly nodded in acceptance of my words. "Me too, but I just don't think I can get past this. I mean, I know I did this to you; I made you do this, Edward. It's my fault. I don't have any right to be angry with you because I left you, I wanted you to move on and be happy, and so I can't complain that you tried to do that. I'm just so sorry for what I've done. I thought I made the right choice. I thought I did what was best for you, but I'm so confused now, I don't know anymore." Her shoulders shook as her eyelids slid closed and her wet, heavy lashes lay across her cheeks.

Lifting my free hand, I gently grazed my fingers over her cheekbone, cupping her face and letting her fall into my grasp. Her sobs came more forcefully as our contact with one another increased.

"This is all my fault," she whispered as she cried. I could see so much sadness in her, pure sorrow and anguish radiating from her every pore.

"Baby, it's not your fault. You were hurting just as much as I was, yet you didn't do anything like this. I was stupid, Bella, and I gave up. I let myself be fooled into thinking I could go on without you, and I was so wrong. There is no life for me without you in it. Please, please can you find a way to forgive me? I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for what I've done, but I can promise you right here and right now that I will never, as long as I live, feel for anyone else what I feel for you." She raised her hand and cupped it over my hand, tangling her fingers with mine, and splaying them out across her neck. The feel of her skin against mine was so comforting to me. I knew that somehow we would work through things, we had to.

"Edward, every place that I've been with you this past week, we've seen some girl that you knew. Did you sleep with all of them?" she asked. My new ideals had me aching to tell her the truth, so I did.

"No, I didn't sleep with them. The only girl I've ever 'slept' with is you. I screwed them, and contrary to popular belief, there is a difference. You don't sleep with someone you don't care about, at least I don't."

She let out a quick laugh. "What are you talking about? It's the same thing."

Looking into her eyes that were now wide open and staring at me, I plead my case. "No, it's not."

"Sex is sex, Edward. It just is."

"Bella, sex may be sex, but sleeping with someone, making love to someone is so much more than just sex. Yeah, it's the act of sex itself, but then you add the emotions and desires, the tender touches and caresses, and it becomes so much more than just intercourse. When you have sex with someone, you give them your body, but that's it. You do it for physical pleasure and nothing more. However, when you make love to someone, you're giving your whole self to them. Everything about you is involved in it. I've never even come close to doing that with anyone other than you. Please believe me, those other girls were nothing like you were." I wanted her to believe that she would never have to worry about anyone else drawing my attention away from her, that she would always be the single most important thing in my mind and I would never desire anything more than what she had to offer me.

She looked down at our hands that were still clasped together on her lap. "So when you saw Shelly tonight, what did you think? And that waitress, Wendy was it? What did you feel when you saw her? Because I'm pretty sure that if I was in the same room with a man I'd had sex with, I'd feel something, whether it be desire or lust or love, I'd feel something for him, so please don't tell me that you felt nothing for those girls."

Nodding slowly, I told her what she wanted to know. "You're right, I did feel something. I felt sorrow, anger, guilt, and I felt embarrassment. There was not one good feeling associated with any of those girls, and there never will be. What I did with them, it was based on need, loss, and yearning. I needed something, and they offered it to me. I felt loss when I was with them, because try as hard as I might to pretend, they could never be you. I felt a longing, a desire to be wanted by someone, anyone. I just needed to be appreciated and to have someone's full attention. I wanted all of those things that you had given me, but even in the heat of the moment, when I knew I had them, it wasn't enough because I remembered how those things felt when you gave them to me, and I wanted to feel that way again."

We watched each other for a few moments, both unsure of whether or not to believe what we'd been told. When she finally spoke out, my heart lurched in my chest.

"I understand what you're saying, I really do, but I can't forgive this Edward." Her head fell forward, breaking our gaze. As my breathing sped up, I began to shake. She was going to end things. I was never going to have her the way I wanted her, which was forever, and I didn't know if I would survive her leaving me again. Just as I was about to speak, and beg her to take me back, she continued. "There is nothing for me to forgive. You didn't owe me anything, Edward. You didn't betray me; you didn't do anything to me. I did this. I did this to you, and I did this to us. I can never take it back, and I'm so sorry. I'm the one who should be begging for your forgiveness, not you."

"Bella, no, I lost faith in us, I didn't believe enough. This isn't your fault, it's all mine." My brain scrambled in an effort to know what to say to her, what words of mine could convince her of my regret.

"Edward, if one of those girls asked you today to be with them, would you?" she asked, biting her bottom lip as she stared into my eyes.

"No, never." My words were firm and precise.

"And if one of them asked you a week from now, or a month or year from now, would you?"

"No, I told you, never."

She nodded slowly, "Okay then, I'm not gonna worry. As long as I know that I have your heart, as well as your mind and body, I won't worry about what those other girls had. As long as you can promise me that no one else will ever have the parts of you that I have, then we can work this out. I can't say I'm never going to be jealous, because I will, but I'm gonna try really hard. I just need to know that you love me, no matter what."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. Was she serious? Could she just forgive me so easily? My mind ran in a million different directions, each one ending at the same spot—her and me together. As I sat staring at her, her brow began to furrow, crinkling up the skin across her forehead, her breathing picked up and her eyes watered. I realized I hadn't replied to her demands, I hadn't told her that everything she had said was already true, she was the only one for me.

"Bella, I promise right now that it will only ever be you. No one else will ever come close to you. I'm okay with you being jealous or mad at me sometimes, I can handle that, as long as it's me you're screaming to about it. I can take it, so yell at me, hit me, and punch me. Whatever you need to do, do it. Just promise me that you won't give up on us. Please?"

A small smile began to grow on her lips. "I promise, I won't give up on us."

I let out a deep sigh, refilling my lungs with the air that held our promises of a new life, a forever love, and a quiet acceptance. Bella had forgiven me of the things I'd done, the way I'd lost faith in us, and I knew as I sat looking at her that I would never make her regret that.

Sucking in a quick breath, I softly asked her, "May I kiss you?"

Her eyes sparkled as she looked back at me. "Please..." I didn't leave her waiting. My lips gingerly pressed against hers and I felt her breathe out against my skin. Her lips responded in the way I was once again becoming so familiar with. I was careful, cautious of asking for more than she was willing to give, but when I felt her hands skim along my shirt and around my neck, I knew she wouldn't push me away. I decided to let her take control, only doing what she wanted to do, and as our kiss deepened, she shifted in her seat. I felt her rise up onto her knees and lean closer to me, my right hand still firmly against her cheek and my left hand drifting to her hip. The little moan she made as I squeezed the denim of her jeans in my hand spurred me on, and soon my tongue was licking tenderly at her lips.

We continued on in the same manner for several minutes, neither of us willing to push things too far, but also not able to stop. When she finally broke away from me and scooted back in her seat, we were both panting heavily and staring at the others slightly swollen lips.

"How many?" she asked.

"What?" I said in confusion. I didn't understand what she was asking me.

"How many women? How many were you with?"

My stomach dropped and I debated for two seconds over whether or not to tell her the truth. I decided I couldn't stop now, I had to do it.

"I really don't know. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe a sixty to seventy, or so." Her eyes widened at that, and I continued. "I don't want to lie and say it's fewer than it is, I don't want any more secrets between us. Just know that I was careful every time and I'm clean. I get tested regularly, so you have nothing to worry about. I promise."

She nodded once and turned to sit back in her seat. "So, we have two more nights together before I go home. We have a lot to work out, right?" She looked back at me, her eyes pleading with me for something I was more than happy to give her.

"Yes, we do. Are you willing to see me so we can start on that? I know it won't all just go away, it's gonna take work and a lot of time, but I'll be in Miami with you soon and we'll keep trying, alright?"

"Yeah." She gnawed at the fingernail on her right index finger as she stared down at something. "Edward, if I ask you to do something, will you do it?"

I nodded but then realized that since she wasn't looking at me, she probably couldn't tell what I was doing. "Yes, of course. What is it?"

She reached into the console and picked up my cell phone. "Erase the phone numbers in this. Please." Her eyes welled up with tears as her hand started to shake. "If I know they're in here, I won't be able to sleep. If I know that there's some way you can call them while we're apart...I can't... I can't take it. Please?"

Reaching out my hand, I wrapped it around the phone and her fingers, holding both tightly. "Do you want to do it? So you'll know for sure? You can if you want. Erase everything in that except for your number. It's the only one I want anyway."

Shaking her head she spoke softly, "No, you do it. I don't want to see the names. It's hard enough if it's people I don't know, but if I see someone I do know...I don't think I'll be able to get past that. Please, you do it."

I took the phone from her hands. "Okay." Opening the phone, I pulled up the address book and began deleting contacts. After several minutes, all that was left in the list was Bella's number and the numbers of my family members. I handed it back to Bella. "This is all I need."

Nodding slowly, she started to cry again. "I'm so sorry; I had no right to ask you to do that. I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Bella, if that's what it takes for you to be comfortable then I'll do it! Gladly! I haven't called one of those numbers in months. You can go through my phone bills if you want, not one number, I swear." I would gladly give her anything she wanted to prove how much I loved her, but she just shook her head as she wiped at her eyes.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" she asked, her voice broken and worn from our evening. I thought for a brief moment that I should tell her about my going to Miami and that I had seen her on the beach, but in my hesitation, she spoke again. "Let's go, okay? I want to get back to make sure E.C. hasn't run your parents into the ground yet."

I smiled, the thought of my dad chasing him around the house in an effort to get him ready for bed making me laugh. "Sure, let's go."

"Um, were you serious when you said I could stay at your parents' house? Did you mean that? Would your parents be okay with that?" She looked at me, a sense of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Yes, I was serious. I don't think my parents would mind. In fact, I think they like E.C. so much that they'd probably give us the whole upstairs hoping it would lead to more grand kids." I laughed as Bella joined in, a giggle bursting from her chest.

"Well, they don't have to do that, but I would like to see E.C. and maybe stay with you for a while, at least, if that's okay?"

"That's perfect." I smiled at her, taking my phone from her hands and dropping it back into the center console before weaving my fingers into her hers. "Any time with you is always perfect." I lifted her hand to my mouth, my lips pressing gently into the soft skin across her knuckles. She smiled at me and the look in her eyes told me that somehow, someway, we would be okay. I knew it, and as we drove toward my parents' house, I felt it with every fiber of my being.

Glancing back to her as we entered town, I saw the smile on her lips, the contentment on her face, and I was struck with a sudden thought. I remembered the lunch at Charlie's house and the conversation I overheard between Bella and Sue. Bella was hiding something from me, and I had no idea what it was.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So, is everyone angry at Bella now? Mad that she gave in to him so easily? Don't worry, next chapter is gonna be a little tense, though E.C. will be back, little scene stealer. Hopefully he'll be nice and let his momma and daddy get a little citrusy before the crap doth hitteth the fan. :D**

**How about some rec's? Let's see…**

**Here's something a little different. I found a new author to adore. Her name is **_**lovelovelove22**_** and I am in love, love, LOVE with her stories! Here are two in progress ones that sucked me in this week.**

_**Such Difference**_** - Bella Swan isn't a typical student at Forks High School, even though no one knows it yet. She's different, and what will she do when it gets to be too much?  
****I like this story because it isn't your typical Mommyella and Daddyward story, it's complicated and messy and different. I am really enjoying the slow burn it's got going…it's nice.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5964120/1/Such_Difference**

_**Divine Mercy**_** - In the eyes of her community, Bella Cullen is the perfect Catholic wife, mother, and churchgoer. But she knows, that underneath her facade, she is a sinful woman.  
****Another very real story that is messy and pure. I love it! It's not going to be very long, which I'm sad about, but I am in love with what she's done so far.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5850437/1/Divine_Mercy**

**And one of her complete stories…**

_**Toujours**_** - Edward and Bella thought that they had forever, until a terminal disease came into their life. With only a year left together, how can they find their forever? And what will Bella do when he's gone?  
****It's short, only 3 chapters, but it sucked me in and really tugged at my heart. It was beautiful and heart breaking and incredible. I loved every word of it.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5993510/1/Toujours**

**She's in my list of favorite authors on here so give it a shot, you'll love what she has. :)**

**Thanks for reading this, now run over and read the other chapter I've got for the new story. It will make my birthday truly lovely… (guilt trip, you caught that, right?)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile.**

**Thanks too for reading my o/s _Baby_. I can't believe the response it got, I'm in awe and shocked at how wonderfully it was received. If you didn't read it yet, go do it! You'll like it… :)**

**Oh yeah, and tell me what you thought about this. Don't let the fact that it's my birthday...today...keep you from doing it. :D I'm so bad. :D**


	14. Chapter 14 Hanging By A Moment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a dvd of the movie **_**Dear John**_** that I bought myself for my birthday last week…and I haven't even opened it yet. :D I'm total fail when it comes to movies lately. :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore.**_** She has issue in this chapter with the words "Butt Cheeks" so I think I'm going to start saving my money so that someday, when we meet, I can wear the shortest pair of Daisy Dukes I can find and show off my "Butt Cheeks." I love her…have I mentioned that lately? Because I do…so much. :D**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys).**_** They are wonderful and did amazing things for me for my birthday last week. If you ever visit the PICFFCorner blog (link in my profile) go to the birthday post section and find the post for my birthday. There is some awesome stuff there, but in particular, a very nice little video full of VERY pretty boys and some rather naughty pictures. You might like it. It made me smile…cause I know My Risbee and coldplaywhore love me. :) As I love them…**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. I love them…almost more than I can say. They reassure me every chapter, and tell me that my lemons don't totally suck. :D Oh wait, is that hinting that there might be a little lemony action in this chapter? Maaaayyybbbeeee… I like **_**UA's**_** name for it…a lemon wedge. :D**

**This chapter wasn't something I was going to do, but I had so many people asking for something fun and light, and this popped into my mind. Sorry it's a little shorter than the last few chapters, but next chapter will probably make up for it. I know uberbeta won't be happy to hear that. :D Enjoy!**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 14 – Hanging By A Moment

_I'm desperate for changing  
__Starving for truth,  
__I'm closer to where I started  
__I'm chasing after you_

___Forgetting all I'm lacking  
__Completely incomplete  
__I'll take your invitation  
__You take all of me now_

_I'm falling even more in love with you  
__Letting go of all I've held onto  
__I'm standing here until you make me move  
__I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know  
__I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
__And I don't know what I'm diving into  
__Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_There's nothing else to lose  
__There's nothing else to find  
__There's nothing in the world  
__That could change my mind_

_There is nothing else..._

"Hanging By A Moment" by Lifehouse

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Pulling into town, I thought it would be a good idea if we stopped by Charlie's house so that Bella could get a few things that she might need for the night. I knew that she wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in the clothes she was wearing, and while she could always borrow something from my mom or Alice, I had my own reasons why I didn't want her in clothes that either of them had worn.

First of all, when it came to my mother's clothing, I never wanted to see my girlfriend in anything I'd seen my mother wear. Ever. That was the stuff that nightmares were made of—the kind of thing that sent people to psychiatrists. Secondly, I didn't want her in something of Alice's mainly because I knew what Alice wore to bed. She liked tank tops and little shorts, and while that was fine for my sister, trying to imagine Bella's curves squeezed into one of Alice's pajama sets could make it very difficult for me to keep my hands off of her, and I really felt like we needed some space.

Just the idea of her breasts tightly bound by the thin fabric of Alice's shirt, her butt cheeks peeking out of the short shorts, was almost enough to send me over the edge. Bella needed to wear her own clothes, and hopefully they were loose, long, and very grandma like. My sanity depended on it.

As we pulled into the driveway, we both noticed that Charlie wasn't home, which was just as Bella suspected. We slipped into the house quietly and I waited in the living room while she packed a few things upstairs. She quickly scrawled out a note for Charlie, explaining where she was, and left it in the kitchen. I held her hand as we walked back out to the car and she paused at the door as I held it open for her.

"We're okay, right? Things aren't gonna be weird now, are they?" she asked, concern clear in her eyes.

"Yeah, we're good." I smiled down at her and was caught off guard a bit as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down into a searing kiss. My hands ghosted over the small of her back, trying to grasp what was happening, as her tongue dove into my mouth, twisting and caressing mine.

Just when I thought I would have to pull back so that I could catch my breath, she moved away, placing kisses instead on my jaw and neck. I felt the soft, open-mouthed grazes along my skin, reveling in the feel of her as the cool night air met my newly wet skin. Her teeth nipped and scraped along my collarbones, then tugged gently at my earlobe. My heart began pounding so hard I thought it might burst from my chest, and suddenly a thought struck me—why was she doing this?

As I stood in surrender, letting her have control of my body, my mind ran through memory after memory. I was stunned when I realized that every time Bella acted this way, it was right after a major issue about me and my past relations. I needed to know what was going through her head, and I needed to know now.

"Bella wait," I said as I carefully pulled myself away from her grasp.

She was breathing heavy as she looked up at me with lust filled eyes. "What? What's wrong?"

I was quiet for a moment, searching for the right words. "Why are you doing this?"

She sucked in a quick breath and I could tell that she was misunderstanding me, which was a problem we seemed to have a lot of the time. I quickly tried to backpedal. "No, it's not that I don't like it, because I do, but I just wonder why you're doing this. Why now?"

"Um, I thought you liked it, so I wanted to make you feel good." She looked down toward the ground, shifting uncomfortably in my arms.

"I do like it, and it makes me feel unbelievably good, I just think that maybe there's some other reason you're doing it. I got to thinking and it seems like every time something comes up between us and we talk about my past, you kind of throw yourself at me afterward. Why do you do that?"

Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, and I watched as she nervously chewed at the plump pinkness that I loved so much. "I don't know," she whispered.

"Bella, it's not a bad thing for you to want me, and honestly I'm thrilled beyond belief that you do, but there just seems to be this pattern and it's got me worried. I need to know that it's really me you want and that this isn't about something else." I watched as different emotions flitted across her face.

As she stood silently, most likely gathering her thoughts, my mind wandered back to other times that she had done this same thing—avoided an issue by preoccupying me with her body. It happened the first time we made love, after she was confronted in the restroom at the school dance. It happened once when we were at the mall, after we ran into a few girls I knew from Port Angeles and one of them invited me back to her house and it happened at a party a few weeks before my high school graduation, when Jessica Stanley tricked me into following her outside to help her with her car.

I also thought about the past few nights, how each time we were together—at the club, at the pharmacy, at the wedding—when a woman flirted with me, Bella reacted by throwing herself at me. I was nervous about this just being another instance when she felt her place with me was threatened, and she was fighting to keep it. It worried me and I couldn't figure out how she could still question everything we felt for one another.

"I don't know why I do it, but you're right...I do this every single time." She was quiet, and as we stood listening to the crickets chirping in the distance, I pulled her body back to mine, pressing against her and reassuring her that I wanted her, that I loved her.

"I want you to be sure this is what you really want. I know I have a lot of baggage for you to deal with, and I want you to know that I'll do whatever needs to be done for me to convince you of what you mean to me, but I'm worried about you. I don't want to push you into something you don't really want." For the first time in weeks, since first talking to her and realizing that I might be able to have her back on a permanent basis, my future looked unclear. I didn't know what she wanted, and I was quickly realizing that everything I had thrown at her might be too much for her to handle.

I regretted so many things, none of which was Bella. I regretted not going after her when she left and then listening to James and talking to that first girl all those years ago. I also regretted going with the second girl because I hated that I was not able to control myself while we were apart. I felt remorseful for ever making her feel as if she wasn't enough for me. The one thing I never regretted was falling in love with Bella. She had broken me once and it was for something noble and worthy, not like what I was making her deal with now. The idea that she might walk away from me because of a past that I couldn't change almost made me crazy. I hoped that she would be able to move past it one day, but I just wasn't sure, and to be honest, I wasn't feeling very hopeful at that moment.

She was silent for a few moments before looking up at me, her eyes filled with tears. Her voice was low and soft, quiet as the breeze that blew around us. "I think that I do this because I'm scared. I know I'm not as good as the other girls, and I think that maybe if I really put myself out there, then you'll like me the same way you liked them."

_What?_ Was she really trying to tell me that after everything we'd been through, she still thought I liked any other girl more than I liked her? How could she still not understand my feelings for her?

"I know the kind of girls you dated before you met me, and obviously that's what you went back to after me, so there must be something to that, you know? You must have some kind of pull to that type of woman, so I thought that maybe if I act like that, if I'm not shy or embarrassed about being sexy or whatever, then you'll like me more." A tear slipped down her cheek as she looked down a little, her eyes focusing on my chest as her words came out in a hushed tone. "Maybe then I won't lose you."

I tightened my grip on her, burying my face in her hair. "You'll never lose me, Bella. Your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that."

She shifted a bit. "You aren't gonna leave me for some other girl, right? You really want me?" she whispered.

"I will never leave you, no matter what, and me being interested in any other woman is something that will never happen. Don't worry, you're all I want." I hoped that my words were calming her a bit, making her certain of my intentions toward her.

"I believe you," she said and we stood in awkward silence for a few moments before Bella tilted her head toward mine, her lips searching out for something. When they finally found purchase on my neck, I felt her body relax, the uncertainty of the last few minutes falling away from us. Her gentle kisses soothed me, calming my mind and I soon sought out her lips with my own. Taking her top lip between mine, I carefully sucked on it as my hands moved up her body, threading into her hair and angling her head so that I could deepen our kiss. We stood that way for several minutes, cementing our newly made declarations and renewing the promises we'd made to each other.

"I love you," I murmured against her lips, feeling a smile creep over her. "Forever, Love. Forever."

"Me too, always." I leaned my forehead against hers, my eyes closed as I took a few moments to breathe her in, memorize the moment with her.

"Let's go see our son," I said, feeling her fingers tighten in the fabric of my shirt. I carefully lowered her into the car and closed the door, anxious to be with E.C. again. I was quickly realizing that the only time I felt truly at ease was when I had both of them with me. I would never again be complete without them, and my awareness of that fact frightened me a little. I prayed with every ounce of my being that I would never have to find out what my life would be like without them. I'd lost her once already, and I honestly believed I wouldn't survive if it happened to me again.

The house was dark when we pulled into the garage; though I knew my parents were most likely still awake. It was only a little after eleven o'clock and with as much excitement as there had been in the house after I asked my mom if E.C. could spend the night, I didn't think they would be relaxing anytime soon. That was unless E.C. had run them ragged all evening, which I was honestly a little concerned about.

We walked into the kitchen and I flipped the overhead lights on, walking toward the living room. The TV was casting a soft glow into the foyer as Bella and I crept in, finding my parents sprawled out on the couch and fast asleep. I stifled a laugh at the site of them and my mother stirred, opening her eyes and looking at Bella and me.

"Hey you two, did you have a good time?" she asked, her voice groggy with sleep.

"Yeah, it was good," I answered, squeezing Bella's hand that was tightly clasped in mine. I glanced at her quickly, our eyes meeting, and offered a small reassuring smile to her. "Bella's gonna stay the night, if you don't mind. She wanted to be here in case E.C. had any trouble, which I'm guessing from the site of you two, is a good idea."

My mother laughed, sitting up a bit and pushing my father off of her so she could move more easily. "Yeah, we kind of forgot how much work little kids are. It's been a while since we had one in this house. I'm not gonna lie though, it was wonderful. We haven't laughed so much in years. He really is just the sweetest little boy, Bella. Thank you for letting us watch him for the night." Bella nodded in response to her and leaned into my side a bit.

"Where is he? Can I see him?" Bella asked anxiously, her eyes darting between my parents and the staircase.

"Of course. We put him in Edward's room. He was insistent that he sleep in his daddy's bed, and I couldn't deny him. I hope that's alright, Edward?" my mother questioned. I told her it was fine and that I may have mentioned it to E.C. earlier in the evening, which is probably where he got the idea. Bella and I said our good nights and ascended the stairs, desperate to see our little boy.

When we finally found E.C., he was tucked safely into my bed, looking so small in the huge bed with pillows all around him. Bella bent down and kissed his cheek, pausing to listen to him breathe. She looked up at me and smiled, relief clear on her face that everything had gone so well while we were gone. I motioned for her to come over toward the bedroom door.

"Do you want to get changed in my bathroom or the one in the hallway?" I asked, running my fingers along her arm as she stood in front of me.

"I can go to the one in the hall, that's okay. Um," she glanced toward the other doors in the hallway, "where do you want me to sleep? Is there a guest room or maybe Alice's room?" I stayed quiet until she turned to look at me.

"Will you stay in here with me and E.C.? I don't want you that far away from us." A smile crept onto her face and she let out a quick breath. I leaned in closer to her, whispering into her ear. "I want you in my bed, always." She gasped and I saw her suck the corner of her lip into her mouth as she nodded slightly, then scurried away from me to get ready for bed.

I watched her walk away, closing the door behind her. I quickly went to get changed for bed, hoping to be ready and back in the bedroom before she returned. I grabbed a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt from my dresser and slipped out of my clothes, finishing a few minutes before Bella walked back through the door.

She set her bag down next to E.C.'s little backpack and stood silently in the doorway, unsure of what to do. I said a silent prayer in regards to what she was wearing, because as sexy as the little shirt and shorts were that she was wearing, they were baggy and only hinted to the soft curves that I knew lay underneath them. The thing that really got to me was her hair falling softly around her shoulders. When she pushed a few locks behind her ear, I could see that the neck of the shirt was rather wide, and her collarbones were framed beautifully, leading to a peek at her shoulder. I immediately had visions of slipping that shoulder out of her shirt even more as I nipped and sucked at her skin.

Clearing my throat, I pointed toward the bed, moving to one side and drawing down the blankets. Bella hurried to the other side of the bed and slipped into the sheets, snuggling in next to E.C. I climbed in on the other side of him and we lay looking at each other in the dim light for several minutes before I finally spoke. "Thank you for this. Thank you for bringing him here and letting me see him, for letting my family see him. He's so perfect, Bella. Thank you." She smiled and stifled a yawn.

"Of course. He was my one little piece of you over the past couple of years. Every time I looked at him, I saw you. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, but I never stopped thinking about you." Her voice was soft and her hand reached up to lay across E.C.'s stomach. I raised my fingers and quickly entwined them with hers.

"Good night, love," I said as her eyes drooped a little, a smile firmly etched on her face.

"Good night."

I lay quietly until she was asleep, listening to her steady breathing as it mixed with E.C.'s more random breaths. Everything I needed was lying in my arms at that moment, and I fell into a deep sleep happier than I'd ever been before. I still had no idea what I was getting into in regards to being a father and a boyfriend, but I was excited to find out. There was nothing else more important to me now—they were all I needed, and I was over the moon.

As I woke, the sunlight poured through my bedroom windows and my mind was fuzzy from sleep. I felt a body against mine and I remembered falling asleep the night before with E.C. and Bella. An involuntary smile overtook my face and I was overjoyed at the mere fact that I woke up next to them. Rolling a little more toward the middle of my bed, I realized that the body next to me was much bigger than that of my three year old son. My eyes popped open to and I was stunned to see Bella nestled tightly into my side, her face pressed against my chest. I looked around the room and saw no sign of E.C. After debating for a moment about what I should do, I heard noises coming from the kitchen and I realized that most likely he was with my mother, helping make breakfast.

The door was almost closed, only a little space left open, and I wondered if E.C. would come back to check on us any time soon. As I tried to decide if I should get up and check on my little guy or stay right where I was, tangled up with Bella, I felt her stir against me. Her arm wrapped around my waist and her leg suddenly hitched over my thigh. As she moved it higher, her knee rubbed against a certain area of my body and I immediately cursed the existence of my morning wood. I felt her fingers begin to rub circles on my chest and she burrowed deeper into me.

"Good morning, handsome," she said, her voice thick and sultry. "Where's E.C.?"

I cleared my throat before answering her, "I think I heard him in the kitchen, he's probably helping my mom with breakfast. I don't think he'll be up here for a while."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, deliberately moving her knee higher and rubbing the erection that was now screaming to be noticed.

"Whatcha doin' there?" I asked, my voice a much higher pitch than I considered normal.

She giggled softly, "Nothing, I just thought I'd check to see if you were up this morning. I guess you are."

"Hmmm, yeah. Apparently you got me up."

She pulled her head back a bit and lifted her face until our eyes met. "I could help you out with that, if you want." Oh crap, was she saying what I think she was saying? I wanted her to help me out like I'd never wanted anything in my whole life, but I was hesitant.

"The door's not locked; maybe I should lock that first."

An innocent look crossed her face. "Why would you do that? What do you have planned for me that would require a locked door?" Her tongue slipped out of her mouth and traced along her lower lip, and before I knew what was happening, I was out of the bed and across the room, locking the door quietly, before hurrying back to the bed.

She was exquisite as she lay in my sheets, her hair messy and her clothes rumpled. All I could think of was ravaging and worshipping her body, while whispering words of love and devotion to her. I slid in next to her, reaching over and taking her face in my hand. Our lips quickly met and after a moment filled with tender kisses, she tilted her head down. "I haven't brushed my teeth yet, maybe we shouldn't do that."

"Okay, we can do other stuff if you want." I hadn't noticed anything wrong with her breath, but maybe she was self conscious about it, or maybe it was me and I just hadn't realized it. She nodded to me, moving her hand to trace along the hem of my shirt.

Raising her eyes to me she whispered, "Off."

I moved faster than I had in ages, whipping my shirt over my head and settling back down next to her. Her lips attacked my neck, and I pulled her against me. The way she felt in my arms was like coming home, like a drowning man must feel when a life preserver is thrown to him. I held onto her as though my life depended on it, refusing to let go.

My hands danced along the bottom edge of her shirt before my fingers finally found purchase on the bare skin of her lower back. She continued her affections, placing wet, open mouthed kisses along my chest and shoulders, while her hands ventured lower toward my stomach. My hands slid along the soft skin of her back, feeling her ribs as they rose higher, my fingers finally wrapping around her shoulders as I clutched her to me.

She moaned lightly as I pressed my body closer to hers, and it sent a wave of desire through me that I hadn't felt in over four years. The fact that my parents and our son were downstairs from us didn't even factor into my thoughts anymore, and I gave in to the feelings that were overwhelming me.

Pushing her up, I buried my face in her neck, sucking roughly at the flesh there, completely taken in by the smell of her hair, her skin, her clothes. She continued to make little sounds that went right in my ears and straight to my cock, which was quickly becoming painfully hard as each moment passed. My hands slid under her arms and over the soft mounds of her breasts, squeezing them gently as I reveled in the feel of her. Her fingers were trailing along the waistband of my pants and when I felt them dip between the fabric and my skin, I let out a grunt that only spurred her on, making her actions more bold and determined.

She shifted a little, moving away from me and as my lips lost contact with her skin, I whimpered as she giggled a bit. Looking into her eyes, I saw the same passion there that I was feeling, and I was reassured by her words. "You can take off my shirt, if you want to."

I debated for a moment, wondering what she would want. "Do _you_ want me to?" I asked, my voice breathy and deep.

"Yes." I didn't have to be told twice and I quickly bunched up the fabric of her shirt, lifting it over her head and tossing it aside. Looking down at her body, I was reminded of just how beautiful she was.

"You are so perfect, baby. The way you feel against me is killing me, do you know that?"

She smiled brightly, "Hmmm, you mean it?" she asked, a slight bit of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Yeah," I said as I moved in toward her chest, placing soft, wet kisses on her skin. Lowering my lips, I felt her hands thread through my hair, pulling me closer to her. My tongue peeked out and licked at her tight pink nipple, sending a shudder through her body. She made a mewing sound that I hadn't heard since the last time we were together and my memory quickly ran back to the first time we were like this.

We were so unsure of ourselves, as well as each other, and Bella's innocence wasn't lost on me. I knew that I'd been the only one ever to be with her that way, and I was grateful. As I took more of her taut peak into my mouth, I marveled at how comfortable she was with me, how she didn't seem hesitant or uncertain of anything.

As if to solidify my thoughts, her hand delved into my pants and was soon wrapped around my dick, pulling at it and making me almost lose it right then. Her breast popped out of my mouth as I hissed in excitement, my body ready to explode. "You like that?" she quietly asked as I groaned my reassurance that I did. She continued to stroke me, tightening her grasp and flicking her thumb over the head of my cock, spreading the precum that had seeped from me. I wanted to beg her to never stop, but my fingers had other ideas.

Taking her nipple back into my mouth, my hand began to slide down the milky skin of her stomach. As they grazed the small lines of puckered skin, I was reminded of why they were there, and I slowly explored each one. Finally, my fingers met the top of her shorts and paused. I had been close to feeling her a few nights before, but had stopped. Dancing my fingers along the drawstring tie on the front of shorts, I worried about going too far. We'd had a major breakthrough the night before, I felt like, and I didn't want to ruin anything. I knew she tended to throw herself at me every time she felt unsure about my feelings toward her, and I worried that this whole situation might just be another example of that.

She arched her back, pushing her chest toward me even more, as she continued to hold me in her hand. She moaned a few more times before hushed words slipped from her mouth. "Touch me, Edward, please." Heeding her request, I forced my hand lower into her shorts, feeling the downy soft hair that was there. My fingertips soon met the heat and wetness that awaited me, before skimming over her swollen lips. She sighed deeply, her hand clenching around my cock as she let out a long moan. Pushing my hand forward, I plunged two fingers into her and was quickly reminded of what I'd been missing over the past few years. No other girl had ever felt this right to me, like our bodies were made to always be connected in one way or another.

I began to pump my fingers in and out of her, her hand starting to move up and down my erection again. For several minutes we were caught up in one another, enjoying the feel of each other's bodies, and remembering what it was like to be truly at one with another person. Our lips were locked together, our tongues caressing and tangling, when I pulled away just a bit, my breaths heavy.

"Should I grab a condom?" I asked, unsure of how far she wanted to go. I didn't simply want to assume that she didn't want to have sex with me.

"Yeah. I want you in me; I want to feel you, Edward." With that, I reached across to my night stand, pulling the drawer open and grabbing the first little package that I could find. I had quite the assortment from my humiliating trip to the drug store the week before, and I was a little curious to see what I had managed to come up with. Ripping the foil wrapper open, I was relieved to see it was one with spermicide. I didn't want to waste the glow in the dark ones—I knew from experience how fun those could be in the middle of the night while in the back seat of my car. Jasper bought Bella and me a box of them as a gag gift once back in high school, but the joke was on him when we used them all up in no time at all.

Bella watched with hungry eyes as I rolled the condom onto my length, then moved to push her shorts and panties down her legs, dropping them on the floor beside my bed. She had rolled onto her back, and I gently settled between her legs, hovering over her naked body. The tip of my cock was rubbing up and down her wet slit as she writhed beneath me, moaning my name over and over again.

"I love you, baby," I said softly as I bent to kiss her and in the same motion lined up my hardness with her entrance. Just as I began to push in to her, a sound broke me from my ecstasy.

"Hey!" _bang, bang, bang._ "How come this door's closed? Let me in, Daddy!" My happy morning screeched to a halt as Bella and I stared at each other with wide eyes. I pressed my forehead to hers and started to laugh quietly. "Daddy? Momma? What you doin' in there? Open this door! I got bekfast for you!"

I whispered softly, "You think if we ignore him, he'll go away?" I asked. Bella shook her head.

"If there's one thing I know about E.C. it's that there's no greater challenge to him than a closed door. Honestly, I haven't been able to pee alone since he could crawl." She giggled and I lowered my body, pressing my weight onto her.

"Alright, but I'm taking some of his cookies today, dang cockblocker." We both laughed as E.C. continued to pound on the door.

Quickly moving to get dressed, I glanced over to the door and saw little fingers peeking underneath it, a muffled voice accompanying them. "Daaa-ddy! What you doing in there?" As soon as Bella and I were both fully redressed in our pajamas, I walked across the room to the door and opened it, laughing out loud when I saw E.C. bent over, his ear to the floor, legs tucked underneath him, and his little butt sticking up in the air.

"Hey there buddy! Good morning, what have you been up to? You smell like pancakes." I didn't know if that was true, but I could certainly smell them from somewhere in the house.

"I help Granny make bekfast. You and Momma gonna come eat what I maked?"

I smiled. "Yep, we'll be there in just a few minutes. Go get us some plates ready, okay?" E.C.'s face lit up and he jumped up from the floor, running down the hallway toward the stairs, and yelling something about his Momma and Daddy being on their way down. Her arms wrapped around my waist from behind me and I felt her face against the middle of my back, her nose pressing into my spine.

"Um, sorry if this seems a bit forward, Mr. Cullen, but you _will_ be making that up to me before I leave this town. Are we clear?" she said, her voice strong and full of authority. The assertiveness she was showing was new and I found myself really liking it.

I smiled at her determination, unable to deny her anything she asked. "Yes ma'am, I think that can be arranged."

She sighed. "Good, now let's go see what our baby made us for breakfast." She took my hand and pulled me from the room as I found myself grateful that my hard on had disappeared in the past two minutes. I felt it begin to stir again when she flipped her hair over her shoulder and I saw the bright purple mark I had left there just moments before. I loved that my mark was on her for all to see, because she was mine.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So, sorry to deny you the angst this chapter, but don't worry…it's coming. :D And how much are you liking that little E.C. right now? Huh? You're wishing he'd stayed downstairs, right? :D I know Edward and Bella are… :D**

**Okay, how about some rec's? I got good stuff…**

_**Under the Apple Tree**_** by danieller123**

**Love that hurts can sometimes heal. Ever wish you could go back and change something you did in life?  
****This story is incredible. It sucked me in this week and I am in love with it! Bella is an ex-hooker/stripper while Edward is a widower pediatrician. Both are dealing with a past that is less than perfect, but together maybe they can fix one another. The writing in this is beautiful and so honest. I love it, it's not a magical "E&B meet and are magically cured," which is something I appreciate. You'll love it, give it a chance.**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/5942388/1/Under_the_Apple_Tree**

_**Confessions of a Nanny**_** by Melissa228**

**Bella Swan accepts a job as a nanny for single father, Dr. Edward Cullen. Living under the same roof and Bella's seduction plans, leads these two into a whirlwind of pleasure and excitement.  
****This story is really great, too. It's sweet and funny and angsty and smokin' hot. Bella is a grad student struggling to make ends meet. Edward is a single dad in need of a nanny to watch his four year old daughter. When they meet, sparks fly and the attraction between them is undeniable. The story is getting close to being done, so you won't even have to wait too long to get the whole thing. Come on, Daddyward with tat's, a hot tub, and a motorcycle? Who can resist that?**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/5051088/1/Confessions_of_a_Nanny**

**And for something complete…**

_**My Life to Be**_** by sleepyvalentina**

**Forbidden attraction. Intense passion. Edward and Bella are committed to their significant others, who are equally committed to their jobs. There's no harm in platonic companionship. Is there?  
****I loved this story. I loved it so much that I convinced myself that it wasn't over in hopes that sleepyval would write more of it. :D But I've come to grips with it, and embraced the awesomeness of this complete story. Bella is dating Emmett while Edward is engaged to Rosalie. They both seem happy enough in their lives, but are they? What will happen when they meet and can't stay away from one another? Though they attempt to be just friends, we all know that's not possible. And I'm so glad… :D**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/5439470/1/My_Life_to_Be**

**There you go! If you need more, seriously…go over to the PICFFCorner blog. There are SO many incredible stories rec'd there, a new one almost every day. You get details on the story, snippets from it, and often times conversations with the author them self! You'll love it, trust me. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for PIC blog.**

**Thanks for reading. Hope you're ready for some angst…it's coming. :D**


	15. Chapter 15 Bye, Bye, Bye

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. I also don't own internet at my house right now. Let me just say…it sucks. :D Sorry this has taken a while to get to you. Things will be a little slower for the next month or two, until we find a new internet provider…and money to pay for that. :D Oh well, at least my kitchen is clean and my kids are actually being fed. That Twitter can be addictive, let me tell you.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She thinks she got a little bitter toward the end of this chapter. I think it made me love her even more, and I didn't even think that was possible. :D**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_**MissyV and I had a wonderful time at a Twilight Trilogy showing, seeing Twilight and New Moon just before the midnight release of Eclipse. I even took my Drama Queen daughter and her friend. It was SO fun and SO pretty, especially on one of the biggest movies screens in all of Arizona. Harkins Cine Capri…we love you. It was amazing, as were the two additional showings we saw the next day. We missed Baby G tons and tons, and wished La V could have been there too. But I think we had enough fun for the both of them. And Rob was pretty…so freakin' smokin' hot…I love that man. It's so wrong…and I don't even care. :D**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They are both so wonderful to me, and with this no internet thing…I miss them. I don't get to talk to them nearly as much as I did, and I think I'm going through withdrawls. :D It's not good. :D**

**So here we go…the beginning of the end. You all knew it was coming, but just trust me… :) Plus I think this just might be the longest chapter yet, at a little over 9400 words. You like that, right? :) Don't laugh at my choice of songs for this chapter. I love the boy bands, and I knew from the very start of this continuation that when this chapter came, it would be this song. I'm actually from the New Kids on the Block era, before they became NKOTB, but my kids loved the 'NSYNC boys. My oldest, who is a teenager now, used to dance to this song day after day. You'd think with his name being what it is, that I was a Jordan girl, but nope…I love the blondes and Donnie was it for me. That's the New Kid boys for those of you who are too young to remember what their names were. My teenager was named after another Jordan…Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life. Oh that Jared Leto is a pretty man. Please tell me you know who that is… :D**

**Okay, enough rambling. Let the heartfail begin…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 15 – Bye, Bye, Bye

_Just hit me with the truth  
__Now, girl you're more than welcome to  
__So give me one good reason  
__Baby, come on  
__I live for you and me  
__And now I really come to see  
__That life would be much better once you're gone  
__I know that I can't take no more  
__It ain't no lie  
__I wanna see you out that door  
__Baby, bye, bye, bye..._

_Don't wanna be a fool for you  
__Just another player in your game for two  
__You may hate me but it ain't no lie  
__Baby bye, bye, bye...  
__Don't really wanna make it tough  
__I just wanna tell you that I had enough  
__It might sound crazy  
__But it ain't no lie  
__Baby, bye, bye, bye_

_I'm giving up I know for sure  
__I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more  
__I'm checkin' out, I'm signin' off  
__I don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough  
__I don't wanna be your fool  
__In this game for two  
__So I'm leavin' you behind  
__Bye, bye, bye..._

"Bye, Bye, Bye" by 'NSYNC

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As I sat at my mother's dining table surrounded by my family, the reality of what my life had become hit me. I was no longer just a son and brother, I was a father and possibly someone's something more. I didn't know how to define what Bella and I had, but I knew she was it for me. I watched her talk with my mother and then care for our son, and I knew that she was all I would ever want. She was beautiful, smart and sexy, but it was more than that. She was also caring, sensitive and forgiving. How she was able to completely overlook my past was beyond me, but I wasn't arguing about it. I was relieved that she could see it for what it was—a desperate attempt by me to fill her place in my life. I only hoped that she knew how completely I had failed, and how there was no replacement for her.

After we finished eating and had gotten dressed, I drove Bella and E.C. back over to Charlie's house. E.C. had insisted on packing up some leftover breakfast for his Grappa, and Charlie's face lit up when he saw E.C. run into the kitchen carrying the plate. We spent the better part of the day talking and laughing together, E.C. showing me all the big boy things he could do, yelling for me to 'watch this' every five seconds.

I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed so much, and by early afternoon Bella was insisting that it was time for E.C.'s nap. He protested until I said that I was a little tired myself. Once he heard that, he couldn't get up the stairs to the bedroom fast enough. I asked Bella if it was alright if I lay with him until he fell asleep, and she said it would be fine, but that he might insist on a story or two first. As soon as our heads hit the pillows, we both fell asleep. Two hours later, I felt Bella's lips against my cheek, her warm breath on my neck.

"Hey sleepyhead, you gonna wake up anytime soon or you planning to sleep all evening too?" she whispered to me. I opened my eyes and looked around the room, noticing that E.C. was no longer next to me.

"Where's E.C.?" I asked as my breathing picked up and I began to panic about where he could have gotten off to.

"He woke up about twenty minutes ago. My dad just left with him, they were heading over to the station. He wants to show him off to the guys there and let E.C. play with the new dog they got. They won't be back for a while." Her lips began placing soft kisses on my cheek and neck, just under my jaw bone. She was lying next to me on the bed and I rolled toward her a bit, wrapping my arms around her waist. She giggled a little as I pulled her against me, but soon enough we were kissing, touching and breathing each other in. I would never get enough of this girl and I pulled back from her so that I could look into her eyes.

"What do you want from me?" I asked softly, needing to clarify what we were and not wanting to assume her intentions. Her brow furrowed a bit as a confused look crossed her face.

"What do you mean what do I want?"

"I mean, what do you want us to be? Do you want to be with me, like long term, or what? I don't know anything about your life in Miami. I don't know your plans for the future, I don't know what's going to happen with us when I get there and I just need something to go on. I mean, I know I want you and no one else, but I don't know what you want." My heart raced as I laid it out to her, hoping that we were on the same page—that she would want the same things I did. I didn't know what I would do if she told me that she didn't see us together, and my stomach knotted more with each quiet second that passed. I reached up and smoothed a strand of her hair down against her forehead before dragging my fingers across her cheekbone and then lightly tracing her lips.

"Um, I don't know. I have another year of school, which is basically classes and my internship, and I have work and stuff, but I don't know what we're doing. I want to be your girlfriend, but then I think this is a lot more than just girlfriend boyfriend stuff, but I'm not sure how to label it. I don't know if it can be labeled. I want us to be together, if that's what you want." Her voice was soft, hesitant, and I knew that she doubted my sincerity and commitment to her.

"I want that too… for us to be together. So, I guess for now I could be your boyfriend and then maybe once we get to Miami and spend more time together, get to know each other again, maybe we can figure out what comes after that?" Her eyes sparkled at my words and she bit her lower lip, nodding her head slightly against the pillow.

"Okay," she said, and I moved to cover her mouth with mine. For the next hour we lazily kissed, talked and just relished the time we had alone together. I never tried to push for anything physically and she didn't either. I knew we had two more days together before she had to leave and I didn't want to ruin it by rushing things. We both knew what was in store for us, and with our admissions, I knew that we had plenty of time together. We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend again, and my heart soared at the sound of it. As I lay holding her in my arms, I fought a cheesy grin that was threatening to take over my face, finally giving in to the thrill of knowing she was once again really and truly mine.

We spent the next couple of days doing much the same thing—talking, kissing, playing with E.C., and just getting reacquainted. Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon and I was getting ready to pick up Bella for our date that night. She and E.C. were leaving early the next morning and this was going to be our last night together until I got to Miami. It would only be a couple of weeks, but the dread of our separation was already overwhelming me. I had planned a special night, hoping that we could finally be together and that we could make our commitment to each other more certain.

Pulling up to Charlie's house, I felt a wave of nostalgia overcome me as I remembered the first time I'd picked up Bella for a date. If things went the way I had planned, I hoped that the evening would end much the same way—with us together and looking toward our future. Charlie answered the door, letting me in and I smiled when I saw Sue and Seth sitting in the living room, each of them with a smirk on their faces. I thought something might be up, but I wasn't sure until I walked into the room and didn't see E.C. anywhere.

"Hey Edward!" Seth said excitedly as he waved from his spot on the sofa.

"Hey Seth, Sue. How are you two this evening?" I asked. They were both seated on the couch, the television turned to a baseball game that I was sure Charlie was forcing them to watch. I knew Seth played a little baseball, so I figured he probably wasn't all that upset to be watching the game. Sue, on the other hand, looked to be preoccupied with something else. She smiled wider and looked toward the window, as if watching something, then looked back at me. "We're great, Edward. Glad to see you tonight."

"Bell's getting ready upstairs, she should be down in a minute," Charlie said from the doorway, where he was leaning against the wall.

"So, where's E.C.? Is he upstairs with Bella?" I asked, still not seeing him. My mood was quickly darkening since I had hoped to see him before Bella and I left for the evening. He had assured me before I left that afternoon that he would be waiting for me, and I was a little sad that he hadn't come running out to meet me.

"Oh, he's around here somewhere," Sue said, looking back to the window. Curiosity got the best of me and I glanced over, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Seth snickered and tried to fight back a laugh as I looked at him, confusion clear on my face.

"Okay, so no one has seen him?" I slowly asked, wondering what was going on, but obviously it was a secret that I wasn't meant to be let in on.

Sue stood and walked toward the window, lightly tracing the curtain with her fingertips. "Oh, we've seen him, but I just don't know _where_ he might have gone to." She crossed in front of the window before moving to stand next to Charlie. They all smiled brightly at me and I turned to look a little closer at the window and curtains, wondering why so much attention had been drawn to them. As I watched, I noticed a slight movement in one of the curtain panels that hung from the ceiling almost down to the floor. My eyes zeroed in on the area, then moved down toward the floor, where I saw ten little toes peaking out from underneath the edge of the fabric.

A huge smile overtook me and I sighed deeply. "Oh man, I was hoping to see him tonight, but I guess he's not here." I stepped closer to the window, standing next to it as I looked outside, keeping watch on the curtain from the corner of my eye. "That's too bad because I brought him a surprise and everything. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to give it to Seth."

Instantly, the curtains flew to the side and my little boy jumped out from behind them. "BOO!" he yelled, as he curled his hands into makeshift claws and held them out in front of him, trying to scare me. I jumped back, throwing my hand over my chest and letting out a gasp.

"Oh my goodness, E.C.! I didn't even see you there!"

"Did I scare you, Daddy? I'm scary, huh?" he asked, a little giggle in his voice and an excited look on his face. His eyes were glimmering with pride at his ability to scare me, and I played right along with it.

"You sure did, I didn't even know you were there. How did you get to be sneaky? Huh?" I asked as I moved closer to him and crouched down, wiggling my fingers into his sides and tickling him. He squealed and laughed, jumping into my chest and wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Daddy stop! You tickle me, stop!" he called out, as Charlie, Sue, and Seth laughed all around us. I heard another laugh and turned to see Bella standing in the doorway, her hand held over her mouth as she laughed at the sight of us. I smiled at her and winked, loving her reaction as she bit down on her lower lip and her cheeks began to blush a little. I hugged E.C. tighter against me as I stood up and walked toward Bella. He nuzzled his head into my neck before quickly pulling back and looking up at me. "You bring'd me somethin? What, what you bring me, huh?"

I smiled down at him, nodding. "Yep, I brought you something. You ready for your surprise?" He nodded furiously, his eyes lighting up the same way I had seen Bella's do so many times. It melted my heart a little more as I once again realized just how much I loved them both.

"Edward," Bella said, caution clear in her voice. "You're going to spoil him, or he's going to bleed your bank account dry, if you keep bringing him things." I laughed and shook my head at her.

"I don't care, besides, it's not that big a deal," I reassured her. E.C. looked at me excitedly, waiting to see what I had for him. I smiled down at him and pushed my hand into my coat pocket. "I found something that I wanted to give you. These were mine when I was a little boy and I thought maybe you'd want to have them." His little teeth showed more as his smile widened and he sucked in a breath. I pulled my hand out and held it up, showing him the bag of marbles I had brought for him. His eyes widened as I noticed Bella shift at my side.

"Um, Edward, I don't think he should have those, he's still kind of young," Bella said just as E.C. grabbed the bag and clutched it to his chest.

"Pretty," he said as he looked at the colorful little balls in the bag. I watched him for a moment before looking up at Bella.

"I had them when I was his age, why he can't he have them?" I asked, wanting to know what it was about my gift that had Bella so worried. It was just a toy and he was a little boy—what was the big issue?

"Well, they're kind of a choking hazard. He still puts things in his mouth all the time; I just don't want him to swallow one of them."

"Bella, they're pretty small, and even if he did swallow one, I don't think it would be a big deal." She gave me a look that made me feel like I was the most uneducated, backwards person ever to live, and I cringed. "Is it really that bad? I mean, if we just tell him not to put them in his mouth, wouldn't it be okay for him to have them?"

She let out a long sigh. "I suppose, as long as we watch him while he plays with them." She turned to look at E.C. "I don't _ever _want to see you with those in your mouth, do you understand me?" E.C. nodded at her slowly, his smile vanishing from his face as he heard Bella's mom voice come out loud and clear. "I will take them away if you do, and you won't get them back until you're a big boy, okay?"

E.C.'s brow furrowed a bit, "I is a big boy, Momma. I be good, can I pway wif dem now?" I looked to Bella and she nodded slightly. Once E.C. was on the ground, he ran right over to Seth, pulling him off the sofa and over to the rug to play with him. We watched as they rolled the marbles back and forth, knocking them into each other and laughing at the clicking sounds the pieces of glass made.

I leaned into Bella's side. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it was a problem, I mean, I had them when I was young and I never swallowed any." She smiled slightly and nodded, rubbing her hand along my arm in an effort to reassure me that she would get over her hesitation. "You ready to go?" I asked, hoping that her mood would improve, though knowing it probably wouldn't since she would most likely be worrying all night about E.C. and the death trap of a toy I'd just given him.

"Yeah, I'll grab my coat," she said as she turned and walked toward the coat closet near the door. I noticed her pull Sue aside, surely begging her to watch E.C. while he played.

"So, will you two be back tonight or will we see you in the morning?" Charlie asked, a strange look on his face. I wasn't sure if he was serious or joking, and for a brief moment I wondered if he'd finally pull a shot gun on me if I gave him the wrong answer.

"Uh, we'll be back tonight. Bella and E.C. leave first thing tomorrow morning, right? I won't keep her out too late, I promise." I offered my hand to Charlie and he shook it, before shuffling off to where E.C. and Seth were sitting on the floor. As he turned I heard him grumbling something about 'good answer, dang pretty boy' under his breath, and I had to stop myself from laughing. Bella stood near the door, waiting for me, and I hurried to her side.

We got into the car and as we pulled away from the house, she started asking questions about what we were doing, where we were going and if we were eating since she had apparently been busy all day and was starving. I laughed at her ramblings and assured her that I would, in fact, feed her and that we were doing something special. I wanted to have one perfect night together that we could both remember until I got to Miami. She smiled and blushed as I gently stroked the back of her hand with my thumb, quieting down instantly after hearing the little bit of information I had given her.

Our first stop was at the pizza place in town. I knew she was hungry and I had chosen this restaurant specifically because it was the same one we'd gone to on our very first date. I wanted to remind her that it was still special to me, and that I was proud to be there with her. As we pulled up and she noticed the large crowd there, she started to get nervous, a strange look crossing her face.

"Babe, what's wrong? Is this okay with you?" I asked, worried as to why she was reacting this way.

"Yeah, it's fine. There are just a lot of people here. Do you think we'll find a table?" Her teeth repeatedly cut into her bottom lip and I noticed her nervously pushing at the cuticles on her fingernails.

I tried to calm her by pointing out a few empty tables that we could see through the windows, and then I was out the door and around to her side, helping her out. I held her hand as we walked in and went straight to the counter, ordering what had always been her favorite pizza—pepperoni, mushroom, and olive. I looked hesitantly at her before asking if she still liked that, and was relieved when she nodded that she did.

We chose a booth in the back corner of the room and sat quietly for several minutes, Bella only offering simple answers to any question I asked. After about ten minutes, I knew whatever was bothering her was going to have to be addressed, because we couldn't spend the whole night with this awkward tension between us.

"Bella, what's going on? Are you really that upset about those marbles? I'll take them back; I'll tell him he can only play with them at my parent's house. It's not a big deal."

She looked up at me, her big brown eyes overcome with some emotion that I couldn't put my finger on. "No, Edward…it's fine, really. I just overreacted, that's all. It's hard sometimes to accept the fact that he's growing up. I mean, eventually he's not even going to need me anymore and then who will I be? I've been E.C.'s mom for so long; I don't even know what my life is other than that." Her words struck me hard and I thought about the past four years, how I had been free and out in the world achieving my dreams while Bella sat at home raising our son. I felt remorse over that, knowing she'd given up everything for E.C. and I had given up nothing. There was no way to change the past, but I wished that she would realize how much I wanted to. That I would happily give up everything in my life to go back four years and stop her from walking out my door.

I reached down and picked up her hand that lay on her thigh. "You'll be Bella, my girlfriend, and hopefully something more to me by that point." Her eyes darted up to meet mine, searching for truthfulness in my words. "And besides, maybe by then you'll be someone else's mom too, since I think E.C. would like to have a brother or sister eventually, right?"

Her mouth dropped open and I suddenly questioned my words, my admission of the future I was already planning with her. When she regained her composure, she cleared her throat. "You want that with me? You're sure?"

One side of my mouth turned up in a lopsided grin and I reached up with my free hand to rub my fingers along her jaw bone. "Yeah, I'm sure I want that with you. I've never wanted anything like that with anyone else; only you." She smiled and her eyes closed as she breathed in a deep breath, holding it before slowly releasing it and giggling a bit.

The beautiful moment between us was interrupted by the waitress that brought our pizza to the table. She dropped it with a smack and when I turned to look at her, I fought off a cringe. I knew her—intimately. I'd hooked up with her a few Christmases ago when I'd been home from college for the break. She was Alice and Bella's age in school, and after seeing her around town a bit, I finally gave in to her advances before high tailing it out of town a few days later. She was a little stalkerish, trying to find me afterwards, but I'd managed to avoid her until now. Bella seemed to stiffen as the waitress stood there, glaring at her, before finally speaking.

"Oh, hello Claire, how are you?" Bella's voice was laced with disdain and I wondered why. Had this girl done something to her at some point? There was obviously bad blood, at least from Bella's side, and I was curious.

"Bella Swan... Haven't seen you in years. What are you doing back in town?" Claire asked, her words spewing venom. _Yep, apparently bad blood all the way around in this situation._

"I'm back for Alice's wedding. Sorry you weren't invited. We'll let you know if we need anything else here, thanks." With that Bella dismissed Claire and she soon pouted her way back to the kitchen. I looked over at Bella who sat quietly pulling a slice of pizza from the pan.

"So, care to tell me what that was all about?" I asked, hoping that if she got it off her chest, she'd feel better. Plus, I was dying to know what had happened between them. As far as I knew, Bella always found the good in everyone, except the girls I'd dated before her, but I hadn't been with Claire until well after Bella left me. I was secure enough in my manhood to admit that I needed all the juicy details, and I didn't care if we sounded like gossiping old women.

She chewed her bite of pizza for a moment before looking over to me. "I never liked her in school. She always let it be known that she had a crush on you, and that she intended to sink her claws into you, whether you were with me or not. I knew you didn't like her, so I didn't let it bother me. Then a couple of years ago, I came to see Charlie for Christmas. It was the first time I ever brought E.C. to Forks." My mind went into overdrive as bells and whistles started to sound, warning me that something bad was coming. A few Christmas's ago…Bella home in Forks…bad blood between Bella and Claire…oh, please no…

She picked at her pizza as she continued. "So, Charlie and I took a drive one evening to see all the Christmas lights around town. E.C. loved them and when we were done, we decided to just pick up some dinner instead of going home to cook something. I really wanted pizza, so we came here." I was a dead man. It seemed that no matter where I turned, my past was always going to be haunting me. I would never be able to get away from the things I'd done, and I knew that no matter what she said, Bella would eventually be unable to look past it. I pulled away from her ever so slightly, afraid of the words that I knew were coming next.

"We pulled up and Charlie wanted to come in to eat, but it was pretty busy in here, and I was worried about someone seeing me with E.C., since no one knew that I had him. When I looked in the window, I saw you. You were sitting with several other guys and there were some girls around. Claire was sitting on your lap, and when you shoved your tongue down her throat, I told Charlie that I didn't want pizza anymore and to please take us to get burgers. I don't know if he saw you or not, but I did. That night I called Alice and told her I couldn't meet with her. She was going to see E.C. for the first time, and she was so upset and heartbroken, but I just couldn't deal with it. Claire finally got you, and all those times she'd sworn she would, came flooding back to me. I couldn't handle seeing anyone else, bumping into someone, so I went home early."

We sat in silence for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say. I finally swallowed my pride and spoke. "She didn't mean anything to me, you have to know that." My words weren't more than a whisper, but they were true. "She was just like the other girls, a sad attempt at replacing you. I knew she was crazy from the first time she flirted with me, but that night was bad. I'd just seen Alice and Jasper exchanging Christmas gifts and they were laughing and kissing, and it reminded me of the fact that it should have been me and you, and it never would be. I'd never get to give you a present on Christmas morning. I'd never get to kiss you under the mistletoe. I'd never get to spend Christmas night with you watching movies or snuggling up to a warm fire." I remembered that day and how bad it was, how much I missed Bella, and I remembered how drunk I'd gotten that night before finally giving in to the first girl that approached me. That's the only way Claire had managed to get to me.

Bella reached over to stroke my leg. "I know, and I'm sorry. I left and I'll never be able to make that up to you. I'm just glad that Claire can see us together now, stupid skank."

I held back a laugh and watched as Bella reached over and picked up her slice of pizza, taking another bite and chewing as if there was nothing going on. That's how the rest of dinner went—both of us eating and ignoring the elephant in the room, who continued to glare at us as she waited on other tables.

At one point, while she cleared off the table next to us, Bella leaned over and grabbed me by the collar, pulling me to her and smothering my lips with hers. I was caught off guard and it took me a moment to catch up to her thinking, but once I did, I slid my hands into her hair and pulled her closer to me. We both heard Claire's gasp and then her stomps as she walked away. After Bella pulled back a bit, she looked at me and laughed, causing me to smile. We didn't see Claire the rest of the night.

A quiet calm settled over us after we left the restaurant. We were content to hold hands, sneaking looks back and forth as we drove to the place where my surprise for her was kept. I hadn't told her about my old car, the one I considered hers, other than telling her that it was in storage and that I hadn't been able to part with it. I tried to drive it every time I came back to Forks, both as a way to keep it running and as a way to punish myself with memories of Bella. As we drove up to the storage facility, Bella's eyes widened, a look of curiosity flashing across her face.

"What are we doing? You didn't rent a storage room for us, did you?" She smiled sheepishly at me as I laughed at the idea.

"No, I wanted to show you something," I said, glad that she hadn't seemed to figure out yet why we were there. Pulling into a parking space, I turned off the car and went around to open Bella's door. "Come on," I said as I offered her my hand.

We walked quietly along the building until finally reaching the unit that had housed my memories for the past couple of years. I stopped and pulled out the key, unlocking the door and raising it. As it rolled up into the ceiling, I reached across to the wall inside and flipped on the light. There, sitting in the middle of the small room, was our car. Bella's gasp from behind me told me that she finally realized why we were there.

"Oh my goodness, Edward, you really did keep it. All this time, it's just been sitting here?" she asked, shock clear on her face as her eyes met mine when I turned around to look at her.

"Yeah, I couldn't let it go. It's yours...it was always yours, just like me."

Her hand moved to her throat as her eyes started to pool with tears. "Edward..." she whispered and I smiled, overcome with happiness that she seemed glad to see the car, and to know that it really did mean a lot to me.

"So, you wanna go for a ride?" I asked, pulling the key ring from my pocket and dangling it in the air between us. A smile slowly grew on her face and she nodded frantically. I offered her the keys and moved to open the door for her.

"You want me to drive it? What?" she asked, panic quickly taking over the joy that had just been emanating from her. "Edward, I haven't driven this car in a really long time, I don't know about this." I laughed at the memory of her driving it a few times when we were dating, how she would worry the whole time about denting or scratching it, driving it into a ditch, or even spilling a soda on the seats.

"It's just a car, babe, and besides...I've been saving it for you." I stood holding the door, waiting for her to move into the seat, which she finally did. After gently closing the door, I ran around to the passenger side and slid in, watching as she carefully put the keys into the ignition and turned the engine over. The car purred the same way it always had, and a huge smile took over her face, happiness beaming from her whole body. I pulled my seat belt into place and motioned with my head for us to go, and we did.

We drove around for just over an hour, listening to music, talking, laughing and even stopping for ice cream. Bella seemed happy and carefree, excited about things. The realization that she would be leaving in less than twelve hours didn't seem to concern either of us and I was glad for that. Forks was a small town, and since there were not very many places go, we ended up driving down some back roads on the outskirts of town. Before long, we were driving down a road we were both very familiar with, and when Bella started to slow down the car, I knew she remembered.

"This is the road, isn't it?" she asked. I nodded, affirming her thoughts, and watched as she eased the car off onto the side of the road. "It was just about here that we always came, right?" she asked. I smiled at the idea that she remembered, even after not being here for a few years.

"Yeah, that little road right there, that's where we usually pulled in." I pointed to the small road that was just a few feet in front of us, and she slowly turned onto it, pulling a little ways down it before stopping and turning the car off. We sat, bathed in the light of the radio, each breathing a little slower.

"This is where it happened, you know?" she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"Yeah, I remember."

"I sure never thought I'd get pregnant the first time we ever had sex." Her voice was low and I turned to look at her.

"You mean E.C. was..." I questioned, looking over at her in wonder.

"Yeah, that first time. I didn't know it until later, but when the doctor told me the approximate conception date, and she mentioned Valentine's Day, I knew it was here, that night. I told you this, remember? At the park?" she said, looking at me with an odd look in her eyes.

"Oh yeah, I guess it just makes it more real to actually be here and know that he came from what we did right in this very spot." The corner of my mouth turned up a little as I let out a sigh.

"Well, to be honest, it was in that very spot," Bella said as she turned in her seat and pointed to the back. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she looked at me. "You wanna..."

My heart began to race and my breaths became staggered as I thought about what she was asking. Yeah, I wanted to get in the backseat with her, but was this really what she wanted? I had planned on doing things right, taking her someplace romantic and making it special, not just screwing her in the backseat of my old car. As I hesitated, she spoke again, showing that she knew exactly what thoughts were going through my head.

"Edward, it's okay. This is us, the way we do things. It's okay, I like that. I know you want things to be perfect, I can see it on your face, but it doesn't have to be. It can be simple and easy, and just _us_. As long as we're together, I don't care where we are." She reached across and slid her fingers along my cheek before pushing them back into my hair and pulling me closer to her. As our lips were just about to meet, she softly spoke. "I love you, Edward Cullen, and I've always been yours. Show me you love me, please." I felt her lips move against mine and I quickly reciprocated by threading my hands through her hair and pulling her tighter to me. After a few minutes, I leaned back a little, catching her eye.

"You wanna get in the back with me?" I asked, happy when she smiled and nodded. I stepped out of the car and moved around to her side, opening the door and taking her hand. Our movements felt very familiar, even though it had been years since we'd done anything even remotely like this together. I opened the back door and she slid inside, with me following right behind her.

In no time at all we were right back to where we always ended up—hands caressing one another, tongues twisting together, moans creating a symphony we both knew by heart. I knew I wanted to always be with her—to always touch her, hold her, love her—and now that we were completely alone, with no one to stop us, I knew I couldn't hold back anymore. She didn't seem to be stopping me as I pushed for more of her skin, more of her scent, more of her taste. My body was on overdrive and I couldn't get enough of her. As I pulled her up to straddle my lap, I wished she had worn a skirt like the first time. She looked amazing in her jeans, but they didn't lend themselves to car sex very well. My hands worked the buttons on her shirt and soon it was falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. My mouth trailed wet kisses along her neck and chest before I sucked at the swell of her breasts, cursing the pretty red lace that was hiding her from me.

Reaching my hands up and moving them around to her back, I quickly unclasped her bra. I pulled the thin straps down her arms until finally her chest was bare and I could see her taut little peaks. My tongue darted out and I sucked one of them into my mouth, marveling at the taste of her and anxious to lick and suck every other part of her body. Her fingers ran through my hair, pulling me harder against her, my aggressiveness clearly turning her on. She moaned and writhed above me and my hardened cock screamed out in joy over the contact it had with her, even if it was between a few layers of clothing.

We continued our ministrations for several more minutes until I felt Bella's hands working the button on my pants. She leaned back a little as she flicked the button open and then lowered the zipper. My mouth moved to her neck, biting and nipping at the flesh there. I was sure I was leaving marks on her, but the possessive side of me was overjoyed about her wearing my mark, and the fact that any other man that looked at her would know she was spoken for. It was kind of my little sick and twisted way of making sure she stayed mine while we were apart. I knew it was wrong, but the more I sucked at her flesh, the more she moaned and whimpered. She had returned the favor a few times and I knew I had marks from her on my neck, but I would wear them proudly. I wanted everyone to know that I was hers and she was mine. If I had my way, we would never be apart again.

Her hand slid down between my skin and boxers, and the feeling of her touch quickly brought me back from my thoughts. As my mouth covered every inch of her chest, my hands roamed her back side, grasping her butt and rubbing down toward the heat that was radiating from between her thighs. I couldn't wait to get her pants off so that I could really feel her, having been so close to having her slick, wetness surrounding my hard dick only a few mornings before. This time I knew we wouldn't be interrupted, and I'd come prepared, with a couple of condoms in my wallet. To be honest, half of one box was in the glove compartment, but I wasn't going to tell Bella that unless we went through the three that were tucked safely into the little pocket of my wallet.

Her fingers began to circle the head of my cock, touching the precum that had begun to pool there. When her hand slid down lower, and her hand grasped my shaft, she started to slowly pump me up and down, causing my eyes to roll back in my head. I lay my head back on the seat and watched as Bella's eyes opened and she watched me react to her actions. After a few moments, she shifted to the side, whispering something about moving my pants down. As she kneeled on the seat next to me, I lifted my hips and pushed my jeans down toward my knees. In one quick motion, I lifted my shirt over my head, leaving my chest bare for her and I saw the lust in her eyes. She looked over my body, her little tongue flicking out and wetting her lips.

Before I realized what she was doing, she was leaning over me, engulfing my cock with her hot, wet mouth. I watched in awe as her head bobbed up and down, her long, dark curls laid out across my thighs. "Oh baby, that feels so good, you have no idea," I whispered, listening to her giggle and feeling the vibrations of it. I moaned as my hand reached up on its own accord and fisted in her hair, guiding her head up and down faster. I felt a tightening in my gut as she continued, sucking me in harder and deeper than she ever had before. As I sat in a state of euphoria, I whimpered and called out her name.

"Oh Bella, I've dreamed about this for so long, of having you here with me like this." She bobbed faster, I went deeper as we both knew what was coming, and it would soon be me. She showed no sign of letting up, and the thought of her swallowing what I was about to give her almost sent me over the edge. "Baby, I want you so much. Ever since I saw you on the beach, I've wanted you." She bobbed again a few more times before finally lifting off and stroking me with her hand.

"What are you talking about? We haven't been to the beach," she said in a breathy voice. I froze, realizing my mistake. Her hand continued to pump me as she looked up and met my eyes. "Edward, what? I haven't been to the beach." Her voice was low and quiet, a slight bit of sarcasm in it, and as her eyes searched mine, she must have seen the panic in them, because her hand began to slow its movements, finally stopping as she sat up a little more. "What's going on?" she asked, and I couldn't keep it inside me any longer.

"Um, I saw you." That was all I could get out. She looked at me strangely, waiting for me to continue, but I didn't.

"What are you talking about, you saw me? Where?" she asked.

I looked at her, hesitant to tell her exactly where and when I had seen her, but I'd kept it a secret for so long, that I knew it needed to come out. "In Miami. I saw you in Miami last month." She sat back on her heels, pulling away from me.

Her eyes widened and her voice came out in a whisper. "When were you in Miami?"

"Uh, a few days before I called you. I was there to look at schools, and I saw you."

She reached down to the floor and picked up her bra, holding it in her hands. "You saw me? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't say something to me?" Her eyes were filled with fear, hurt, and I knew that I should have told her sooner than at this particular moment, but I was so worried about losing her that I'd kept it from her. As I sat silently, she began to put her bra back on, nervously fiddling with the fastener on it. She was clearly pulling away and I started to panic, knowing that she would most likely run if I didn't start explaining things.

My words came out in a rush. "Bella wait, hear me out please. I didn't know. I saw your address on the wedding announcement from Alice and I wrote it down. I had tried so many times to find you, but I couldn't. I never asked Charlie because I thought he probably hated me, and Alice wouldn't tell me anything. I was stuck, but I was so excited at the thought of seeing you that I didn't care. I went to your house and sat in front of it for a while until I finally got up the courage to go to the door." As I spoke, she began putting her shirt on, slowly buttoning each button as she watched me, her heart clearly pounding in her chest.

"Your neighbor lady said that you were at the beach, so I went there. She said something about a little boy, but I didn't know what she was talking about. I wore my sunglasses and hat so that you wouldn't recognize me right away, but then I heard your voice. I was totally in shock that it was really you. Then I saw E.C."

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers. "You saw E.C.? Wha—wait, you saw us? Both of us?" I could see the panic growing on her face as I fought to get my words out so that I could make her understand, so I could explain it to her.

"I didn't know. I didn't know why you'd left, and when I saw you there with E.C. and Phil, I thought you'd moved on. I mean, you both had rings on and I thought maybe that's why you'd left me—that you'd found someone else. Bella, I didn't know, I swear, I didn't know until I got home and Alice told me."

"Alice told you? About E.C.? But you said...you said you didn't know. In the park, you knew?" Her voice nothing more than a whisper and her eyes were filling with tears that screamed of hurt and betrayal. I was losing her.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to scare you away. I wanted you to tell me. I wanted to hear it from you, Bella. I should have heard it from you. You should have told me! You should have never run away, you should have stayed here and told me! I was so in love with you, I wanted you always and you ran away."

I was freaking out, wanting to scream at her for keeping secrets from me, yet wanting to beg her to forgive me for keeping secrets from her. As angry and worried as I was, I was also hurt, and I knew my words sounded as though I was lashing out at her. "You didn't just take _you_, but you took _my son_. You took my future, my happiness, everything! I didn't know, Bella, I promise you I didn't." Her hand clutched her shirt as she gasped for breath. Tears were streaming down her face as she backed toward the door, her hand reaching to the side of her and grabbing for the handle.

"No, please don't go, stay with me," I begged her, but when our eyes met one final time, I knew it was no use.

"Stay away from me, Edward. I can't believe you did this. I'm such a fool. Why didn't you tell me that Alice told you?" She looked around for a moment before meeting my gaze again. "You talked to my dad. Did he know? Did he know that you knew?" I was silent as she processed the information in her head. Her breath whooshed out of her in a rush. "Oh my gosh, he knew. And your family, they knew too, didn't they?" I nodded my response, watching as emotion took her body over. She began to shake, her breaths coming in staggered bursts. "I'm such an idiot; I was just a joke to you all, wasn't I? Just a big joke. I can't believe this...I loved you." She looked at me, the picture of heartbreak, and I knew it was a sight I would never forget, as long as I lived.

She pulled the handle open and stepped out of the car. My first instinct to run after her, but I realized that my pants were still around my knees and my shirt was on the floor—I couldn't chase her just yet. I yelled to her, but she didn't come back. Pulling my clothes back into place as quickly as I could, I continued to call for her, hoping that she was just standing outside the car, but when I got out I could see through the moonlight that she was already quite a ways down the road. I knew that it was a few miles back to her house, and I wasn't just going to let her walk home alone. Not to mention the fact that Charlie would kill me if I did.

Sprinting after her, I grabbed at her arm when I reached her, spinning her around and making her look at me. She was sobbing uncontrollably and she cowered away from me, withdrawing into herself. I stood silently, unsure of what to say, knowing that nothing could fix what I'd done.

"Please leave me alone. Please," she whispered before stepping around me and walking away.

"Bella, you can't walk home, it's like three miles. Come on, let me drive you, please." She continued on, ignoring my pleas. I walked behind her for a bit before finally deciding that I may as well follow her in my car, hoping that after a few minutes she would give in and talk to me.

I raced back to the car, thankful that she had left the keys in the ignition, and quickly turned around so that I could catch up with her. I trailed her for almost twenty minutes, trying every few minutes to get her to talk to me. I tried explaining things, but she just shook her head, discouraging me from trying to make her understand. Finally, she slowed and stopped, and I could see her body shaking as her head bowed and her hands moved up to cover her face. Slowly stepping out of the car, I walked over to her and stood behind her as I listened to her cry.

"Bella, baby...please." I reached up to touch her back and was heartbroken when I felt her body shudder and jerk away from me. I moved to stand in front of her, running my hands along her arms and I leaned in, placing a kiss on the top of her head. She let out a gasp and fell against my chest. She continued to mumble things into my shirt as I held her tightly, trying to soothe her. When she finally began to calm a bit, I bent down and picked her up, carrying her to the car and gently setting her inside. The whole way home, she stared out the window, not saying anything, but not crying anymore either.

When we got to Charlie's house, I turned off the car and we sat in silence. I watched as her hand reached up and took hold of the handle, pausing as she cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry for everything. I ruined it all, and I can't ever change it. I thought it was the right thing, but I guess not. You can call my house when you get to Miami and work out a visitation plan for E.C. with my mother. I won't bother you again." She pulled the handle and as the door opened, the light blinding my eyes for a moment. She was leaving me, ending things when they had only just started again.

I flung myself out of the car and ran to her, following her up the walk. "Bella, this is ridiculous, you can't do this! We're a family, Bella. We have to work this out. You can't leave like this."

She paused and slowly turned to me. Her eyes were red and puffy, clear signs of the crying she'd been doing. She sniffled as she watched me for a moment. "No, Edward, we're not a family. E.C. and I, we're a family. E.C. and you, you're a family. But you and me? We're nothing."

I fell to my knees, clutching onto her, my fingers grazing over the soft fabric of her shirt and roughly pulling at the denim of her jeans as they twisted into her belt loops—anchoring me to her. "Please, please don't do this. Don't say that, we are a family—you, me, and E.C. We're right, Bella, please don't do this. I'm sorry; I thought I was helping by not telling you, I never wanted to hurt you, please." My eyes were blurring with unshed tears as I begged her to give me another chance.

When she spoke again, her words were icy and cold, with no emotion. It was as if she didn't care about us at all. "You were right, Edward. I took away everything from you. I kept your son a secret for four years. I ruined everything. It's all my fault and you shouldn't ever forgive me for it. I lied to you and to your family. I'm a horrible person, Edward. You deserve someone better than me, someone who will be honest with you. That's not me."

"But I lied too, Bella, don't you see that? This is all my fault. You lied _for_ me, to protect me, and I lied to keep things from you. I'm just as much to blame, Bella. Please, you have to give me another chance." I buried my face in her shirt, feeling the wet spots from my tears as I cried, begging her to take me back.

Her voice came out as little more than a whisper, the hurt and devastation clear in every word she spoke. "Don't you see, Edward? We are never gonna work. We're so self destructive and selfish, this is never going to happen for us. There are too many lies between us, how can we ever trust each other again? Let's just face it, this is over...there was never anything here to begin with. _We're _nothing. We were stupid to think we could actually make this work." My mouth hung open in shock as I watched her eyes fall to the ground and she stepped out of my arms, her feet moving her toward the house.

"BELLA!" I shouted after her, sitting back on my heels and shoving my hands into my hair, pulling on it as anger and heartache consumed me. She paused, turning to glance over her shoulder at me as she spoke.

"Just think, now you can go back to sowing your wild oats, Edward. Maybe you even have other kids out there somewhere from your past one night stands that you can start a family with, since this one isn't gonna work out for us. It's just too bad that you deleted your hook up list from your phone, though I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding someone who will bend over for you. Seems half the girls in town have already done it at least once," she spat at me, though I heard her sniffle as she turned and continued toward the house.

My heart shattered as I knelt on the sidewalk and watched her walk away from me. Her words replayed over and over in my head—_we're nothing. This is over...we're nothing_.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Okay, breathe… Just take a breath, and trust me. I know where things are going and it's gonna be rough for a while, but have faith…I won't let you down. I'm great with the heartfail in an o/s, but not in a chapter story like this. I'm too invested in them…I need a HEA. :D And let me just say this right now – Edward does NOT have any other children. Don't worry, there are no more little Edward Jr's running around. I wouldn't do that to you, or him. :D**

**Since I'm doing the whole no internet thing, I don't have any stories to rec. What I will suggest is that you head over to the PIC FF Corner and check out the stuff that's rec'd there. There is a link on my profile, so you have no excuse…do it! :D This week they are rec'ing stories from a wonderful author and I think you'll love them. I even did some banners for a couple of them. It's fun and you won't be sorry. :) **

**Thanks to everyone that participated in the Fandom Gives Back charity auction. My superbeta MaggieMay14 bought a story from me…I'm afraid. :D And wytchwmn75 and HAtreehouse bought banners from me. That was so sweet…I love making those. :D Whenever I get them all done, I'll post them on my blog so that you can see them, and then you can read their awesome stories. They are both so good…**

**I'm writing something for another charity thing. It's called Foxy Fics and I'll link it on my profile too. There are some wonderful authors contributing, so you won't want to miss out. Trust me. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for PIC blog. Go Check Out the PIC Blog! :)**

**The angst continues next chapter, but we're getting some very sweet stuff too, I hope you'll enjoy it. Thanks for being so wonderful to me and let me know what you thought of this…I can't wait to see. Forgive me too if I'm a little slow on replying to reviews. This whole free wifi around town thing is awesome, except that I only manage maybe an hour a day online. Like I said before…it sucks. :(**


	16. Chapter 16 I Can't Make You Love Me

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a lot more free time during the day since my children started back to school yesterday. I'm thinking of getting a disco ball and some really bad 70's music so I can party it up while I'm vacuuming and doing dishes. Oh, and the laundry…does it ever end?**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She talked me into reading a story and that helped to preoccupy me and make this chapter get to you that much later. I'll mention the story at the end, it's pretty great. She's so smart…**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_**I never get to talk to them anymore…darned 'No Internet at Home' thing that's still plaguing me. I feel like I'm going through withdrawals. Although, **_**MissyV**_** and I should hopefully be getting Mexican food at our favorite restaurant sometime very soon. I couldn't be more thrilled, I need me some good chips and salsa. :D**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They've both been gone on vacations so I haven't seen them around much. That makes me sad. It's funny too, they each always find different mistakes in every chapter. Then I get **_**uberbeta's**_** notes and she finds completely different stuff than they do. See how happy I am that I have the three best helpers ever? :D**

**Sorry this has taken so long to get to you. Let's see…I went on vacation for a week, I wrote an o/s for the Foxy Fics charity thing, I did 6 story reviews last month for something (but I won't say what…), I wrote a chapter for my other story, I read Water for Elephants (which makes me REALLY excited for the movie and The Boy), my grandpa passed away so I had several funeral things and lots of family around, I read a few stories that I'd been either behind on or else hadn't gotten to yet, and my kids started back to school. Real Life has been CRAZY lately, so I apologize profusely.**

**That being said, I hope you like the chapter…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 16 – I Can't Make You Love Me

_Turn down the lights_  
_Turn down the bed_  
_Turn down these voices_  
_Inside my head_  
_Lay down with me_  
_Tell me no lies_  
_Just hold me close_  
_Don't patronize_  
_Don't patronize me_

_I can't make you love me if you don't_  
_You can't make your heart feel_  
_Somethin' it won't_  
_Here in the dark, in these final hours_  
_I will lay down my heart_  
_And feel the power if you won't_  
_No, you won't_  
_Cuz I can't make you love me_  
_If you don't_

"I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As I sat watching Bella walk away from me, the tiny pebbles on the sidewalk digging into my knees, I was overcome with a sense of finality. She had just rejected me... again. My heart knew the pain that was engulfing it. The pain was familiar, my having last felt it over four years ago when I realized she had left me. My lungs were fighting for air, but my heart refused to beat, to allow in the very thing that sustained my life.

Without Bella, I had no reason to live. Just when I thought things were truly over, a flash of bronze and a high pitched squeal brought me back from the darkness. I had a reason to go on, and he was running toward me.

"Daddy!" E.C. screamed as he ran down the sidewalk to me. His arms were stretched out and I felt a whoosh of air fill my lungs as he grabbed on to me. I held him tightly, crushing his body to mine. He didn't giggle like he usually would, but he didn't cry out in discomfort either, although I knew he couldn't be comfortable with me holding him so securely. He was just still, as though he knew that I needed him as close as possible, and that he was healing me, willing me to go on.

"Hey buddy," I finally said after a few moments of quiet. "You're not sleeping yet?"

"No, Grappa let me stay wake for long time tonight. You come to see me?" he asked, and I finally relaxed my grip on him, letting him pull his head back and look at me.

"Yeah, I had to see my favorite boy."

"That's me, huh Daddy?"

"Yep, of course that's you." I looked at him, trying to memorize every little freckle on his face, every hair on his head and all the various shades of brown in his eyes. I would miss him and the pain was paralyzing. I knew it would only be a couple of weeks, but that was more time than I could even fathom being away from him. How had I ever gotten by without him? He smiled at me and my heart melted, as I tried to smile back at him.

He reached up his little hand and traced one of the wet lines that were on my cheeks. His brow furrowed a bit as he got a questioning look in his eyes. "Daddy, you crying? Did you get a ouchie?" I shook my head a bit, trying to assure him that I was okay, but the look on his face only grew more concerned. "I kiss it better for you. Momma do that to me. You want me kiss it?"

I smiled a bit more, overwhelmed at his urge to make me feel better. "No, you can't kiss it. My heart is hurting and that's inside, so you can't see it bleeding."

His eyes sparked of wisdom well beyond his years and he carefully bent his head and kissed my chest, right above where my heart was currently breaking. The action brought on a new round of tears and I hugged him to me again, grateful to have him in my life. After several moments, he started to stir in my arms, and I loosened my hold on him again. His eyes soon met mine, and with his hand lying over my heart, he spoke.

"Daddy, why was Momma crying? Did she get a ouchie too?"

My words caught in my throat, and I was unable to say the things I wanted to say. I pulled him a little tighter against me and stood, walking to the swing that was on the front porch. He held on to me tightly as we ascended the stairs and approached the swing. As I sat down, he shifted on my lap so that he could see my face. I didn't know what to tell him, but I couldn't find it in my heart to lie anymore. My lies had ruined my second chance with Bella, and I had decided I wasn't going to do it ever again where my loved ones were concerned.

"Well, Momma was crying because Daddy didn't tell the truth, and it hurt Momma's feelings." I tried to keep things as simple as I could, hoping he would understand, but that I wouldn't have to go into too much detail.

He looked at me for a few moments, searching my face for something. "That not very nice, Daddy. Momma say'd lying is bad."

I nodded my head in agreement. "It's not nice, and it is bad. That's why Momma was so sad."

"Well, how come you be'd not nice to her? Don't you love her, Daddy?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes, I do, very much, just like I love you. I wasn't thinking very well, was I?"

He shook his head, "Nope. That not nice, Daddy." He looked down at his hands as he moved them to his lap. "You gonna tell me a lie, Daddy?"

"No, I will never, ever lie to you, E.C. I promise."

"K, good, cause I don't like it." He looked back at me, our eyes meeting, as he started to yawn. I knew it was well past his bedtime, but I was grateful for the few extra minutes I had with him.

"Are you getting sleepy, E.C.?" I asked, as he nodded in response. "You want me to rock you here on the swing?"

"Yeah. You tell me a story, Daddy?" he asked, as he leaned his head against my chest. I racked my brain, trying to remember any bedtime stories I knew by heart, but came up with nothing much.

"I don't really remember any stories, but how about if I sing you a song? Would you like that?" I asked, a smile taking over his little face. He nodded furiously, and I wrapped my arms tighter around him, pushing back a little with my feet so that we would start swinging.

I tried to remember the songs that my grandmother had sang to me when I was a little boy, and as E.C. snuggled deeper into my chest, the words came back to me.

_Sing a song, a day go long, a coo coo and a sparrow,_

_the little doggie burned his tail, but he'll be well tomorrow._

I felt E.C.'s body relax as I stroked his face with my fingers, tracing along his perfect skin and features. He was so beautiful, so much like Bella, and my heart ached knowing that I had lost her. I was grateful that I still had E.C. and I would make sure than one way or another, I would always be part of his life. I only hoped that someday Bella would be able to forgive me.

Plans started to run through my head as I continued singing nursery rhymes, preschool songs, and anything else I could think of. I even pulled the Barney theme song out of my memory, though I had to try and remember the correct words to it. In junior high, my friends changed the song to something about hating everyone and blowing stuff up. I only sang it to annoy Alice, who still enjoyed watching the program at that point, even though I insisted it was a 'baby show.'

After about half an hour of me singing and us rocking on the swing, I could tell that E.C. was asleep. I wanted nothing more than to take him home with me, to keep him and not let him go, but I knew that would be confusing to him. He didn't deserve to be in the middle of Bella and my problems , he should have better than that and as his father, I would stop at nothing until he got it. I'd make things work once I got to Miami. If Bella didn't want to see me, then she wouldn't have to. I'd do whatever it took to be with E.C., no matter what it was.

I sat mindlessly continuing to push the swing a bit, moving us through the night air that was turning a little crisper, and watched my son. He was flawless, and I'd never felt such a wide range of emotions at one time before. Happiness, fear, hope, regret, peace—they all ran through me at the same time, and it confused me, yet left me feeling grateful. I soon heard footsteps on the wooden floor of the porch, and as much as I wanted it to be Bella, I knew it wasn't. I glanced up to see Charlie approaching, a concerned look on his face. He walked over and sat down next to me on the swing, letting out a long sigh before he spoke.

"So I take it things didn't go too well tonight, huh?" he asked, his words quiet and filled with sadness.

"No, they didn't. It's all my fault, I should have told her I knew about E.C. I was just so afraid of scaring her off, of losing her, that I didn't… and now I've lost her for good."

Charlie sat silently by, no sound for us to hear but crickets happily chirping in the distance. Didn't they know my life was falling apart? When I heard a few frogs, I knew nature was laughing at my misery, feeling no pity for a man who didn't even have the guts to tell the love of his life all of the things he'd kept secret.

"Well, Edward, I'm not sure what to say here. You know, Bella is a smart girl. She's always been a thinker, and I can't imagine that this is any different. I'm sure once she has some time to think through things, she'll realize that you were just doing what you thought was best. I mean, she's done the same thing, so she'll have to see it eventually."

I nodded in agreement, hoping he was right. "I don't know, she was really upset. I don't think I've ever seen her that way before, it kind of scared me."

Charlie nodded, letting out a sigh. "I've seen her that way, once before." I could tell by the look on his face that he was reliving old memories and I wondered when she'd ever looked like that. It didn't take long until I knew. "It was when she left you, that night that she broke up with you. I couldn't console her; it was one of the worst nights of my life."

I dropped my eyes to E.C. as he shifted a bit in my lap. "I don't know what to do. I mean, I want to run up there and beg her to take me back, but I want to respect her wishes and stay away. I don't know..."

"Well, its hard sometimes, you have to go against what you want so that someone else can have what they want. I've been there. When Bella's mother left I didn't know what to do, but I didn't have a lot of choice. By the time she told me she was leaving, she was already packed and on her way out. I was a stupid man, Edward. I should have swallowed my pride and chased her, but I didn't. I only hope you won't make the same mistakes I did."

I nodded my understanding to his words, assuring him that I knew what he was saying. "What do I do? I mean, if she doesn't want to see me, what do I do? How do I make her change her mind?"

Charlie sat quietly for a few moments, lost in his thoughts, before finally speaking. "Give her some time. She'll work through this and before you know it, she'll be ready to talk to you. I think the next couple of weeks will be good for you both. It will give you some space and let you process things. It's all been moving so fast that you need to think things through."

I knew he was right. It had felt like things were going quickly, but I was so happy to have Bella back and so excited to be a father, that I had ignored the little warning bells in my head. I knew it couldn't all come together so easily, especially not with the past four years haunting us. We'd both done things and made decisions that cost us, things that would never go away. I hated the fact that my weaknesses would always follow me, and I wished with every bit of me that I could go back and change it—that I could do things differently.

"Emmett and I are leaving next week for Miami, we're driving out. Do you think by the time we get there, she'll be ready to talk to me? What can I do to fix this? Please, Charlie, help me figure this out. I don't know what to do." I looked at him, pleading with every part of me.

"I don't know, Edward. I'll do what I can from this end and try to encourage her to see you or talk to you, but you know how she is. I'm pretty positive this isn't about you not telling her you knew about E.C. I think it has a lot more to do with her own feelings of guilt over what she did to you by leaving. I'm relatively sure she knows that it was a mistake, and I know she regrets it, even if she still thinks it was the right to do." He lifted his eyes, looking in the living room window as though he was looking for something or someone. I followed where he was looking, but saw nothing, though I hoped that Bella would be there, watching us. In my heart I knew that she wouldn't. She was most likely in her room throwing things into her suitcase so that she could get away from me that much sooner.

"She's leaving tomorrow. How do I just let her go?" I asked, sincerely wanting his thoughts on the situation.

"You just do."

Charlie was quiet as we sat silently for several minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Misery didn't even begin to describe the way I was feeling, and I ached as I tightened my hold on E.C.

Finally, Charlie let out a long sigh. "I guess I should take E.C. in to bed, he's got an early morning tomorrow." He turned to look me in the eye. "I'm proud of you, Edward. A lot of men in your circumstances would have turned and run the other way, but not you. You stepped up to the plate and you've embraced this wonderful little boy. He's a blessing to my family and I know your parents feel the same way. You've done a good thing here, son, whether Bella chooses to see it or not. And she will, eventually. Just give her some time. She's a lot more like me than either of us would like to admit, and she'll get it one of these days. Just wait for her, don't give up."

I nodded in response, unable to reply to his kind words.

"I'll do everything I can to get her to talk to you, even if it makes her stop talking to me." We both let out a soft laugh at his comment. We knew how stubborn Bella could be, but we hoped she'd get passed it.

"Thanks Charlie, I appreciate that. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, for us. I'm really glad Bella and E.C. have had you to support them through all of this, and I hope that no matter what happens between Bella and me, you'll always welcome me here. You're part of my family and I hope that I will always be a part of yours."

Charlie nodded, patting me supportively on the shoulder. "Of course, Son, of course."

He slowly stood from the swing, before turning around and reaching out for E.C. I squeezed him to me a bit tighter, leaning down to place a kiss on his temple, whispering 'I love you' into his ear before handing him to his grandfather. He stirred a bit before snuggling into Charlie's chest, and even though I knew that I would see him soon, it still hurt to let him go.

"Goodnight, Edward."

I cleared my throat, "Goodnight, Charlie."

As Charlie walked toward the door, he paused before entering the house. "Their flight leaves at ten in the morning, so we'll probably leave here around seven thirty so we can get there in time. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you were drop by before that. I'm just saying..." I smiled and nodded, understanding what he was telling me, and watched as he walked into the house, the screen door closing softly behind him.

I sat on the swing for a long time, thinking about all the things Charlie had said to me. I was also wondering what Bella was doing and what she was thinking. I wanted to walk into the house and demand that she talk to me, but I knew I couldn't do that. I felt like it wasn't fair because I wasn't the only one keeping secrets, yet I was the one in trouble for them. What about her secrets? I knew she was keeping something from me, not to mention the fact that she'd kept E.C. from me for over four years. We both had secrets, and we both had valid reasons for them, so why was it so easy for me to forgive her, but she couldn't do the same?

After what felt like an hour or more, the light in the downstairs rooms went out, and I instinctively glanced up to the living room window. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I was saddened to see Bella standing alone in the room, watching me. As the light over the stairs flipped on, I saw the shine of fresh tears on her cheeks, and my heart broke all over again.

She watched me for a few moments and I stood, walking to the window and put my hand against it, willing her to walk across the room and come to me. I saw that she was conflicted, not sure of what to do, and as her eyelids slid closed, breaking our connection and dividing us, as her hand slowly raised in the air. She held it there for a moment before she turned and walked quickly to the stairs, rushing up them in an effort to get away from me. The light soon shut off and I was alone again. She was gone.

Walking to my car, I felt something begin to grow in me. A new determination was quickly forming and I knew that somehow, someway, I would get her back. She would be mine again, and we would be together.

As I opened my car door and looked up to her window, wishing to see her curtains shift, for a sign that she was still watching me, I decided that I'd give her time if that's what she wanted. I could be patient, understanding, and eventually we'd figure things out. As I started the car and pulled away, watching her window in my rear view mirror, my sorrow grew. The curtains never moved.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

When I pulled into the driveway at my parent's house, I realized that I didn't know what to say to anyone. I sincerely hoped no one would ask, but the fates were not on my side. Entering the house, I could see the kitchen light was still on and I silently prayed that my mother was not awake. She had an uncanny knack for knowing when things were wrong, and for pulling the truth out of me.

Relief swept over me when I saw my father sitting at the counter with a bowl of ice cream, his eyes looking up to meet mine as I entered the room. "So, how did things go?" he asked, his spoon hovering in midair between the bowl and his mouth.

"Uh… things went fine. We went to dinner and talked a bit, so you know." I stepped toward the refrigerator, opening it and stalling for time as I pretended to search for something.

"Oh good. I didn't know if you'd be back tonight, what with the two of them leaving tomorrow. I thought you might stay at Charlie's or something." His words were a little slurred as he ate his spoonful of ice cream and I knew without even looking that it was rocky road, his favorite. He had a thing for it and during my childhood, he bought every brand there was before finally settling on the one he liked best.

"Yeah, they're leaving in the morning, pretty early. I don't know if I'll even get to see them or not. I thought it'd be best if I gave them some time with Charlie tonight. I didn't want to be in the way or anything." Closing the fridge door, I turned around to see my father paused, in mid-chew, his eyes focused on me.

"What?" he asked with confusion clear on his face.

"Well, I just didn't want to be a bother, that's all."

Slowly, he began to chew, his eyes never leaving mine as his jaw muscles moved and stretched. After a few moments, he cleared his throat. "So you wanna tell me what happened?"

My eyes moved to the counter top, unable to remain locked with my father's as I lied. "Nothing happened."

"Yeah, I don't buy that. Is everything alright?"

"Of course, things are fine." I tried to keep the tone of my voice steady and even, but I was failing miserably.

"Okay, if you say so." From the corner of my eye I saw him push his spoon back into the ice cream, gathering another small pile of chocolate. "You know, when your mother and I were dating, she broke up with me a few times. They were short little one or two day things, for the most part, but there was one time when it lasted weeks. I really thought I'd never get her back."

He lifted the spoon to his mouth, giving me time to process his words and form my own response. He was a smart man and he knew what he was doing, egging me on with just a bit of his words.

"What happened?" I asked, as I moved around the counter and to one of the stools, sitting down beside him.

"Well, she thought I was seeing another girl on the side, but I wasn't. You know your mom, once she thinks something, there's no telling her otherwise. But in her defense, it did look bad, I have to admit that." A small laugh rumbled from his chest and I could tell he was reliving past memories.

"What did you do?"

"We were in college and at that point, I was at a different university since I'd just started med school. She was finishing up her last year, so we were doing the long distance thing. There was a girl in one of my lab classes, she was nice and pretty smart, and so when she asked if she could be my lab partner I didn't see any problem with it. I was glad not to be stuck with someone who didn't know anything. You're mother didn't see it that way."

Oh boy, could I relate. Better than my father even knew, only with me and Bella it wasn't about lab partners, it was about bed partners. I stayed silent as my father continued.

"So your mother came to visit me one weekend, and I was studying with this girl, her name was Laura. Anyway, your mom was nice and very civil until the next day, when she started yelling at me and I had no idea what was going on. She said I was being tricked and that as a man, I was too stupid to see it for myself." He chuckled, most likely remembering my mother's red face that she always got when she was truly upset.

"So what was going on? I mean, you were just helping the girl, right?"

"Well, yes, and no. I mean, she was a really nice girl, and your mom was gone, I hadn't seen her for about a month. I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time, but looking back I can understand why your mother was so upset. Laura and I were close, I was helping her with assignments, and we got along really well. I think it scared your mom, and even though I didn't mean for anything to happen, I think I let my guard down a little too much. I gave Laura the wrong idea, that I liked her more than just as my lab partner. Apparently, you mother overheard her telling some of her friends that we were practically dating and that it was just a matter of time before I realized I was in love with her."

This shocked me. My father had always been so devoted to my mother, at least as far as I knew. I was surprised by what he was telling me, but I sat on edge waiting to hear how he had resolved things.

"After your mom broke up with me, I pretty much couldn't believe it. I mean, I was just being nice, I didn't see anything wrong with it, but one thing your mother said really stuck with me, and over the next couple of weeks, I obsessed over it. She asked me how I would feel if I was in the same situation. How I would feel if I found her with a male lab partner that she was obviously close with, and then overheard him telling his friends that we were more than lab partners?"

Suddenly, my mind began running through various scenarios where it was Bella studying with some guy, or Bella laughing or in love with someone else. My heart ached at the thought of that man not being me. What would I do? I wondered if I would be able to handle that or if I'd totally lose it and kill the guy. I silently prayed to myself that I'd never have to find out, but on the edges of my sanity—the hazy parts that stayed just out of focus until it was too late—I knew these were all a possibility. I wondered what issues awaited me in Miami, and if there was another man I would have to contend with.

I tried to focus again on my father, pushing the thoughts of Bella in someone else's arms out of my mind. I knew if I dwelt on them too long, I'd snap. "My blood boiled at just the thought of that, and I couldn't think of anything else for days," he said, taking another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. I waited patiently for him to finish it, although my fingers nervously tapped against the counter top.

After a few moments, he hadn't continued, and I was getting nervous wondering if he would. "So what did you do?" I finally asked as he took the last bite, laying his spoon back into the empty bowl.

"Well, I went to see her. Actually, first of all I told Laura that we were only friends, that I was sorry I'd misled her, but that my heart belonged to Esme, and it always would. I suggested a new partner for her, and I found myself a male lab partner." As my father said this, a thought ran through my head. With all the women in my past, maybe I should decide to only have male lab partners in my classes. That would eliminate one worry for Bella, and maybe help me to assure her that she was, and would always be, the only woman I was interested in. I would never want anyone else the way I wanted her.

"Then I went to your mother's school and camped outside her apartment until she finally took pity on me and let me in. It didn't take long, I could see on her face that she still loved me, but she was hurt. I explained that I had dug myself a hole, and I didn't even realize it. I told her that I hadn't meant to hurt her, that I hadn't even realized what I'd done, but that once I thought about her doing what I did, I finally saw how much it affected her."

He looked over to me, his eyes full of love and sincerity. "Edward, we all make mistakes. Some of them are worse than others, but we have to find a way to fix things. Just like with me, I made a problem and didn't even realize it. I liked Laura, and if I hadn't been with your mother, I probably would have liked her even more, but I _was_ with your mom, and I only wanted your mom."

I knew what my father meant. I loved Bella, and I only wanted Bella, but the problems I'd created were ruining us before we'd really even gotten started. I had to change things, to make things right between us.

"I will admit, it felt good to have someone fawn over me, to have someone interested in me. It was new and kind of exciting and I let things go on longer than I should have. It was all my fault, and I hurt two people, not including myself. I had to figure out what I really wanted and then find a way to make sure I could always have it."

I nodded in understanding. He looked at me, as if waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say.

"You just have to do what's right for you, and then sometimes you have to put yourself aside and do what's right for the ones you love. That's the way things are." He patted my hand with his as I remained silent before he stood up, grabbing his bowl and moving toward the sink. I knew he was waiting for me to talk, but I didn't know what to say.

"I lied to Bella." It came out as nothing more than a whisper, but I knew he could hear the anguish in my voice.

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Um, I was afraid the truth would scare her. Well, that and I'm an idiot, but what's new there, right?" A sad laugh left me and I felt more like crying than laughing. He remained silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I saw her and E.C. when I went to Florida last month and I didn't tell her. I was afraid she'd freak out and run away from me. I didn't mean to hurt her; I just didn't want to lose her. Well, that and every time I tried to tell her, it just wasn't right, something always came up and ruined the moment. I've had a week, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her, and then I didn't even really tell her, it just slipped out. I think maybe that's what hurt her most, thinking that I told her on accident and that I never really meant to say anything."

He stepped forward, leaning his forearms on the counter top as he let out a long breath. "Wow, that's not the best decision you've ever made, obviously. So she was pretty upset? What did she say?"

"That it's over, that we're nothing. She didn't even give me a chance to explain, I think that's what bothers me the most. I mean, I've been nothing but understanding and fair about her not telling me about E.C., but then this comes up, and it's not even a big deal, and she freaks out. It's not fair, you know? I mean, I heard her talking to Sue about some secret she's keeping, but did she tell me about that? Nope, yet I don't tell her something and she breaks up with me? What the..." My emotions were all over the place. I was still sad, yet as I told my father what I'd been thinking, my anger started to grow. I felt bad for that, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. It wasn't fair; Bella wasn't treating me with the same respect that I'd treated her. She was holding me to a different standard, and I was beginning to really resent it.

My father chuckled a bit. "Oh son, you have so much to learn about women." As he shook his head, I waited for him to enlighten me, to lay upon me the wisdom that he'd gained in his life, but he didn't.

"So what do I do? How do I fix things with her? I mean, I love her. I want to marry her. I want to have more kids with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. How do I get her to take me back?" I pled with him, hoping for something that could help me.

"Well, first of all, I think you need to give her some time. As much as that hurts right now, you have to realize that she's hurting too. She feels betrayed and misled, and she was. Does it make it right that she's doing and has done the same thing to you? No, but for the moment you need to look past that. You need to give her some space and respect her wishes. As the hurt begins to fade and she's able to see things a little more clearly, she'll come around. I've seen the way she looks at you, Edward. I've seen the way she watches you and E.C. together. She loves you, and I can tell that she wants to be with you too. Just give her some time, she'll come around."

"Charlie said the same thing; that I needed to just wait. He thought the next couple of weeks would be good for us, that it would give us some distance and some better perspective on everything." I looked at my father, wondering what he would say to that.

He smiled. "Charlie is a smart man, and being that he knows Bella better than any of us, I think you'd do well to listen to him. Just wait, it will work out." He smiled a bit before reaching over to pat my hand. "Well, I'm off to bed. I think your mother is waiting for me, she's reading or something."

"Dad, wait. What did you do to get her back? I mean, how did you do it?" I shifted in my seat, hoping for some insight from him.

"Well, first I apologized and explained that she was right. I told her that I hadn't realized what I was doing and then I begged her take me back. After that, she still wasn't too sure, so finally, I left. I decided to give her some space, and about five minutes after I got back to school, there was a knock on my door. It was her, and we've been together ever since. I had to do a few things differently, and I had to listen to her, to really trust her and be open with her, but it was worth it."

My mind swam with ideas of how I could do things different—better with Bella. How I could change my actions and choices so that she would be happy. I wanted to prove myself to her, and I wanted her to feel comfortable with me. Most importantly, I wanted us to trust each other, and I knew the only way that would ever happen was if I made the first move—if I changed myself first. It would be hard, but I would do it. Bella and E.C. were worth that.

"I proposed that summer and a few months later we were married. It was the best decision I've ever made, and when I think about how I almost ruined it all, it makes me sick. I was an idiot, I'll admit that, but I loved her more than anything else, so it was worth it to beg and grovel. _She_ was worth it." His eyes held an understanding, like he knew what I was going through, yet he couldn't help me anymore than he already had. This was something I had to do on my own, and I knew that.

"Thanks dad, I appreciate it."

"Anytime, son. Now, I'm heading to bed. I strongly suggest you find a way to get to Charlie's house tomorrow morning, if for nothing else that to see E.C. Two weeks may not seem like a lot of time, but when it's two weeks away from someone you love, it's an eternity. Trust me, I know."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Oh, and Edward? Fix it. She's worth it, son." He smiled before turning to walk out of the room. He had given me a lot to think about, and just knowing that he and my mother had their fair share of problems early in their relationship really helped to lift my spirits. I hoped that this was just a bump in the road for us, that we would be able to make it through, and come out stronger for it. I knew I'd do anything for her, and I hoped that once I proved myself to her, she'd feel the same.

As I lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, all I could think of was Bella and E.C. I couldn't have my last memory of Bella be one of her crying, hurt by me. So, I decided then and there that I would get to Charlie's house early the next morning. I wanted to see her before she left, though I fully intended to give her the space she needed. I would fix things, I had to. My life depended on it. Sleep finally claimed me, as a smile took over my face.

The next morning as I drove to Charlie's house, my emotions were all over the place. I had spent a restless night tossing and turning, consumed with the desire to see Bella, to reconcile with her. I had a little speech planned out in my head, and I hoped that she would let me get the words out—that she would give me a chance to make things right. Pulling up to the house, I saw Charlie's truck parked on the side of the house, and a shot of excitement flared through me. I had made it, I hadn't missed them. It was only a few minutes after seven, and I had fretted as I got ready that I would miss them, that they would leave early.

Parking my car in the driveway, I hurried toward the house. As I stepped up onto the porch, I saw a white paper wedged into the screen door. Looking closer, I saw my name hastily written across it. My heart started to thump harder as I reached out and took hold of it. Stepping back, I opened the paper and was surprised at the words. Shock rang through me as I read, and sadness overwhelmed me.

She left.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Hee-hee… :D I do love the angst. I also loved all the Daddy time in this chapter. I love Edward and Charlie together, and I love Edward and Carlisle together. At least our Edward is getting some good advice, right? We'll just have to see if he takes it.**

**So next chapter we'll get some Bella POV on all this, and you'll see what's in that note that was left for Edward. I know you can't wait, right?**

**Before I mentioned the Foxy Fics charity thing. There's a link on my profile and if you contribute, you'll get 22 incredible o/s's written by some really talented authors in the fandom, including the little piece of fluff that I wrote. :D Also, and I don't do this hardly ever, but if you contribute and then PM me, I might ask you something to see for sure that you contributed, and then MAYBE I'll send you the next chapter a few days before I post it. Sound fun? It's not written just yet, so I can't send it now, but I will email it to you before I post it here, and you'll get it before everyone else. Nice, right? :D Yeah, I don't do that very often, so you might want to take advantage of this little offer.**

**Okay, so how about some story rec's?**

**_For the Summer_ by camoozle - this is the story that uberbeta told me I HAD to read. After plowing through it last week, I agree with her…it's pretty great. And the fact that it takes place in Arizona is pretty incredible, too. Read it, if you aren't already. You'll love it. And really, a swimming, water skiing, hiking, boating Edward in no shirt for the summer? Who could resist that?**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5934882/1**

**_Clairvoyance_ by husmcn – this little story is written by one of my besties here in the fandom, and it's one of the only non-human stories that I read. You'll like it, Bella and Edward are on opposing sides in a long war between two groups. Of course, they fall in love, but with Bella as the leader of her group, she can't give in to the weakness and she pushes him away. Things are gearing up and a big war is coming. You'll like it…it's good.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5290435/1/Clairvoyance**

**And something complete –**

**_A New Frontier_ by Melolabel - this is really good too. Rancherward and Mail Order Bridella meet in 1800's Nevada. I kinda love it. :D It's sweet and simple and kinda angsty. There's one part…where Edward is going to meet Bella for the first time…and he mentions pushing his hair back and sliding his hat on… Oh goodness, I don't know what it was about that one little sentence, but I could totally see it in my mind. It was a nice thought. A VERY nice thought… :D It's complete, so no waiting for new chapters. You'll like it, I know I do.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/4553319/1**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for PIC blog. They have funny things there, and lots of great story rec's for you too.**

**I just wanted to say one more thing, I know this is long—bear with me. The song in this chapter is one that my Grandpa used to sing to me when I was a little girl. He had a whole list of little songs he'd sing to us, and to anyone he ever rocked in his rocking chair. He LOVED babies and little children, and he was always so sweet with them. He really was the best grandpa anyone could ever be lucky enough to have. I can't really imagine what life will be like without him calling me every so often just to see if I'm okay and if I need anything. I'll link a picture on my profile.**

**I miss him…**


	17. Chapter 17 Life Goes On

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an uberbeta who thinks I talk too much in my A/N's. It's true, I do. Hey, I'm boring as could be in real life and my kids won't talk to me, so since you all can't talk back, I tend to ramble. Plus is anyone even reading these? I thought most people skipped right over them and went straight for the story. :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She thinks I talk too much. It's true, I do, except when I'm mad or hurt. Then I just shut up completely. It drives my husband crazy, and really…isn't that the whole point? Silence is scarier than screaming. No joke.**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_**I hardly get to talk to them anymore, but I still love them. **

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They've both been vacationing lately and I miss them terribly. I'm just happy I can still text **_**UA**_**. That makes me giddy. And I kinda want to kiss her when she writes me. :D**

**I know a lot of this is recap from chapter 15, but it's important so you can see where Bella is coming from. SO many of you are mad at her. I'm hoping this will help explain things a bit. All the quoted words during their fight can be found in chapter 15, if you need to read them all again. **

**Enjoy. :)**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 17 – Life Goes On

_You sucked me in and played my mind_  
_Just like a toy you would crank and wind_  
_Baby I would give till you wore it out_  
_You left me lyin' in a pool of doubt_  
_And you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac_  
_You should've known better but you didn't_  
_And I can't go back_

_Oh life goes on_  
_And it's only gonna make me strong_  
_It's a fact, once you get on board_  
_Say good-bye cause you can't go back_  
_Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right_  
_Where I'm at, is my life before me_  
_Got this feelin' that I can go back_

_Wish I knew then what I know now_  
_You held all the cards and sold me out_  
_Baby shame on you, if you fool me once_  
_Shame on me if you fool me twice_  
_You've been a pretty hard case to crack_  
_I _s_hould've known better but I didn't_  
_And I can't go back_

"Life Goes On" by Leann Rimes

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

BPOV

I was an idiot.

There was no question about it—I screwed up big time. I thought all along that what I had done for Edward was the right thing, that I'd given him a chance to have a real life. As time passed, the more I found myself questioning my decisions.

Watching Edward and E.C. together over the past few days had me thinking about all of the things Edward missed—all the milestones in E.C.'s life that he would never get to experience—and regret hit me like a truck. I wished so badly that I could go back and change things, but I knew that was a pointless desire. The past was the past and there was nothing I could do about it. The only thing left in my control was the future, and I fully intended to make things up to Edward as best as I could. Not just to Edward, but the entire Cullen family. I had to make things right, by whatever means necessary.

There was something that bothered me though, no matter how hard I tried to overlook it. I couldn't figure out what it was, but it was like something was hanging over us. Everyone had been so accepting of both me and E.C., almost like they knew about what happened and why I left, but that couldn't have been true. My father and Alice were the only ones that were in on the secret and they'd both sworn to me that they would never tell. In the past four years, I was positive that neither of them had said anything, so there was no reason to believe that they would now. Besides, I was relatively sure that if any of the Cullen's had known about E.C., they would have found us a lot sooner. Still, something wasn't right, I could feel it.

I was excited for our date, even though I was sad about leaving to go back to Miami the next day. Edward and I were finally in a good place, working through the things in our pasts and trying to be accepting of each other. He was so forgiving of me and what I'd done, not even getting upset or angry. I was a little surprised by that, to be honest, but also very grateful. I only hoped that he really meant it when he said he forgave me.

When Edward picked me up, I was overwhelmed with love as I watched him with our son. Everything I'd ever dreamed for the two of them seemed to be coming true. Edward was taking to fatherhood like nobody's business and I couldn't have been happier. The marbles that he gave E.C. concerned me, just because I knew that E.C. still liked to put things in his mouth, but I needed to accept the fact that my little boy was growing up. He wouldn't always be my Mini Edward, and the thought of that nearly broke my heart.

Watching E.C. with his dad made me think of him as an infant and all the sleepless nights I spent with him when he was colicky. I remembered his first steps, and how my mother insisted we video them so that Edward could see them someday. I was horrified because it was early in the morning and I was still in my pajamas with no make up on. For some reason I convinced myself that if Edward saw me like that, he'd never want me again. However, E.C. was so proud of himself, clapping his hands as he crossed the living room floor, and my hesitation was quickly forgotten.

I remembered the first time he recognized Edward on the television. It was a bowl game and Edward had made a big play, so they showed his picture and started talking about his stats. E.C. was watching the T.V. and pointed, yelling "Daddy!" at the top of his lungs. He was so excited, and as I saw him with Edward in my father's living room, I was happy that he finally had the dad he'd been waiting for.

Dinner hadn't gone well, but with all the girls Edward had spent time with over the past four years, it was pretty much unavoidable that we would run into someone. It had happened every time we'd been together over the past week, and by this point it was almost to be expected.

I was a little surprised, and not exactly happy, to see Claire. The last time I'd seen her was during Christmas break a few years back when E.C. and I visited, and she was perched on Edward's lap, her lips all over him. Back then, he had just laughed and done nothing to discourage her, and it had crushed me. Being able to stake my claim on him, even after all this time, seemed to make up for all the teasing and taunting she had done to me in high school. She never thought I was good enough or pretty enough for him, but having him kiss me the way he did in front of her made her shut up once and for all. I felt vindicated and it was amazing.

Later that night, seeing Edward's car, the one we spent so much time in, was a little shocking. I remembered every inch of it, and was nearly overcome when I realized it still smelled the same way—a mixture of musk and cinnamon—very much like Edward. When he let me drive, saying that it was my car, I was overjoyed and anxious to find out exactly what else he had planned for the night. I hoped I'd be able to find our spot, after so much time away from Forks, and was a little surprised when I pulled onto the familiar dirt road.

When I turned the car off, my heart started to pound and excitement raced through my body. Everything was so perfect, and the thought of being with Edward again was intoxicating. The fact that it was in the exact same place as it had been the first time, the night E.C. was conceived, made it that much more special, and I felt sure that Edward loved me.

Going down on him was all a part of the plan I had quickly formed in my head. I knew he loved it, that it made him a little crazy with lust, and I wanted him to enjoy himself. I was nervous due to the fact that Edward had been with so many other women, and I'd been with no one since he and I were last together. I knew he'd probably had this done to him hundreds of times, and most likely my little performance would pale in comparison, but I was hoping I could at least make him forget all the other girls for a few minutes.

I wondered if he would ever completely forget all those women, if he'd ever not want them—not miss them and yearn for that part of his life. The thought of him longing for someone other than me made me sad, and I started to lose focus, but the words that he mumbled stopped every other thought in my head.

"Baby, I want you so much. Ever since I saw you on the beach, I've wanted you."

He'd seen me on the beach? I continued to pump him with my hand as my eyes looked up to meet his. "What are you talking about? We haven't been to the beach." I slowed my actions, watching him closely. "Edward, what? I haven't been to the beach." As I continued to talk, he froze, and the uneasiness that I'd been feeling all week suddenly exploded in my stomach. I watched as his eyes grew wide in horror and suddenly I wondered why he was so worried. "What's going on?" I asked, waiting for him to explain what he'd said, but every word that came out of his mouth just made things worse and worse.

He'd seen us—me and E.C.—on the beach. He knew about us and he didn't tell me. Instantly things got very clear to me. The way he wasn't surprised when I told him we had a son. The way his parents were so accepting of us both. The reason his mother had pictures of E.C. on her foyer wall so quickly after learning the truth. The way his family simply forgave me for keeping E.C. a secret for such a long time. _They all knew._

As my mind began to process this new information, my heart clenched, as did my stomach. I fought back the urge to throw up, and pulled my clothes back on as quickly as I could. I had to get out of there. Everything around me was spinning and I couldn't breath. Edward was talking, trying to explain things, but I couldn't hear a word he said. I knew I had spoken—asked him questions—but I had no memory of what they were. All I heard was the blood rushing through my head, my heart racing and feeling as though it would burst from my chest, and my frantic, stuttered breaths. I needed to be away from Edward, away from the sound of his voice. So, as soon as I was dressed, I bolted out of the car, running away from him and his lies as fast as I could.

Sprinting along the dark road, my breath was heavy in the cool night air, as I registered the things Edward had said. He told me that Alice and my father both told him what I'd done, and that he thought I was married to Phil, but that they set him straight on that. I didn't know why he hadn't just spoken to me on the beach, why he hadn't left a note or something. For that matter, why didn't he tell me that first night we were together, while we were at the park? I'd laid my heart out for him, confessed everything I'd done, and he said nothing. How could he watch me cry the way I did and not say one word about the fact that he already knew? How could he sit there and let me feel guilty and basically freak out over him finally knowing, and keep quiet? Why would he do that to me?

I heard him calling out to me, as his footsteps grew louder behind me, but I kept running. I wanted away from him as quickly as possible because I was completely horrified and embarrassed. Not only did Edward know, but his whole family did too. Was I was just some sort of joke to them? The poor little half-wit girl that their son had knocked up, and now they were stuck with me and my illegitimate child? They probably didn't even care about me and most likely they were just worried that I'd try to come after their money or drag their name through the mud around Forks.

My thoughts were getting the best of me as I imagined Esme hanging the pictures on the wall as a way to pacify me, to lure me into a false sense of security. Then as soon as I was gone, the frames would end up in a closet somewhere, replaced by pictures of people they actually loved. It hurt me to think of Esme that way, she had never been anything but wonderful to my face, but how could she be so great if her son could turn out to be such a conniving manipulator?

When Edward finally caught up with me, he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. His touch scared me, and I instinctively pulled away from him. The sadness in his eyes when I retracted from him nearly destroyed me. He thought I was scared of him, but it wasn't that. I needed to get away from him; I needed space and distance from him. My mind created images of him laughing at me, telling me what an idiot I was for believing him. Even though the rational part of my brain knew the visions weren't true, just the idea of Edward acting that way toward me hurt so deeply, I didn't think I'd ever recover if he really did it. I begged him to leave me alone, but when he kept following me, I knew it was a lost cause.

Just as I was about to stop and give in to him, put aside all the emotions that were coursing through my body, he was gone. Edward wasn't behind me anymore and I was alone in the darkness.

Part of me was relieved, but another part of me was broken. He had given up on me; he really didn't want me like he said he did. I slowed to a walk as I continued to sob, crying until I felt like there were no more tears in my body. Just then I saw light coming from behind me and I knew it was Edward. He hadn't left me alone so far from home. Most likely he just didn't want my father coming after him, or maybe he really did care about me. I wanted to believe that it was the latter, but I was so confused.

Every so often he would pull alongside me and stick his head out the open window and try to talk to me; to get me to listen to him. Each time he spoke, I simply shook my head, clearly telling him I didn't want to hear what he had to say. After what seemed like a lifetime, my legs were shaky and I felt as though I would fall flat on my face. I'd stumbled several times, my lack of coordination clear in every step along the bumpy, uneven road, but I'd managed to keep upright.

I was exhausted by that point, and I knew I'd never make it all the way home on foot. We were miles from my father's house, and whether I liked it or not, I needed Edward. I needed him in so many different ways, but at the moment I needed his help in the physical sense. There was no way I could ever make it home in the state I was, and if he didn't help me, I knew I would spend the night alone on the side of the road. I stopped, letting my shoulders hunch over and my head drop forward in defeat.

He was out of the car and over to me instantly, trying to hold me. I jerked away from Edward, unaware of my actions, but knowing that my body was trying to protect itself from more hurt and rejection. When he moved to stand in front of me, placing his hands on my arms, I started to give in. Finally, when I felt his lips on my head, I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I collapsed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to soothe me. "Bella, it's okay. I'm here, you're alright. Baby, please, let me help you, we can fix this," he whispered, but I was so far gone by that point I didn't hear any of the other words that he murmured. I wanted out of Forks, and to go back to Miami where it was warm and bright and I was safe. In Miami I had a life that didn't include Edward Cullen, and my heart was protected. I needed to get back there.

I let him hold me, and place me into the car, as soundless words fell from my lips. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that I didn't mean to hurt him. I wanted to tell him that I hated him for lying to me. I wanted to scream at him for screwing half the women in Washington, while I pined away for him and I wanted to hit him for not telling me he'd seen me and E.C. on the beach. Mostly, I wanted to tell him I was completely and totally in love with him, and he'd just shattered my heart, but I couldn't. There was nothing left of me for him to save, nothing left to fix like he said he wanted to do. There was only enough of me to give to my son, and I couldn't risk losing that little piece by exposing it to Edward. E.C. deserved better. He deserved a mother that could function and give him the things he needed, and if I let Edward annihilate the specks that were left of me, there would be nothing for E.C. I had to think about my son.

I doubted I could ever get past him keeping so many secrets from me, especially if E.C. and I were the laughing stock of Forks. If his family all knew and my father knew, it made me wonder who else knew. No one at the wedding seemed too surprised to see a little boy that looked exactly like Edward in the wedding party, so did they all know too? A million thoughts ran through my head as Edward drove me home, but I couldn't bring myself to seriously think about any of them. I needed to get away from this place, away from these people, and I never wanted to come back.

As we drove, an eerie calm settled over me. I knew, as I watched the trees alongside the road rush past us, that it was over. Edward and I were poison to each other, and that was no way for us to live our lives. We both deserved to be happy, and as much as I hoped our happiness could be achieved together, I couldn't ignore all the signs that were so obviously telling me it would never happen. I began to make peace with it and as we approached my dad's house, I wondered what I could say that would make Edward accept what I already knew.

We sat in the quiet for a few moments before I turned to get out of the car. I heard him gasp a little and I knew words needed to be said. "I'm sorry for everything. I ruined it all, and I can't ever change it. I thought it was the right thing, but I guess not. You can call my house when you get to Miami and work out a visitation plan for E.C. with my mother. I won't bother you again." I stepped out of the car, leaving my heart and soul behind me. I loved Edward, I always would, but we'd messed things up too badly. We could never be together, and I would never be complete because of it.

As I walked up the sidewalk toward the porch, I heard him running behind me, yelling about us being a family and having to work things out. What was he thinking?

We weren't a family—we never were.

I attempted to make him understand that, but he fell to his knees, clutching me to him. "Please, please don't do this. Don't say that, we are a family—you, me, and E.C. We're right, Bella, please don't do this," he said, begging me to reconsider, to give him another chance, but I couldn't do it. If I did, then it was simply prolonging the inevitable. I made my voice as hard and cold as I could, trying to make him see how bad of a person I was and how I had messed everything up.

"You were right, Edward. I took away everything from you. I kept your son a secret for four years. I ruined everything," I said. Maybe if he believed it was all my fault, he could get past this and be happy again. He could find someone new that he could build a life with. "You deserve someone better than me, someone who will be honest with you. That's not me," I whispered, hoping he would believe my words. The thought of him with someone else wasn't something new to me, after all, images of him screwing other girls had been running through my head on a nearly constant loop since he'd told me about his activities over the past four years. This was different, though. This was the idea of him in a relationship with someone else, and I couldn't bear the thought of it. I had to get away from him.

He tried to place blame on himself, and I felt my shirt dampen with his tears. "Please, you have to give me another chance," he cried. For a moment I almost gave in, I almost grabbed onto him and let go of everything. I wanted him so much. Every inch of my body screamed out for him—for his touch, his words and his love—but I knew I couldn't have him and that fact was slowly engulfing me in grief.

My mind began to spin and I spewed out the first words and thoughts that came to me, hoping to convince him. "There are too many lies between us, how can we ever trust each other again? Let's just face it, this is over...there was never anything here to begin with. _We're _nothing. We were stupid to think we could actually make this work." After telling him it was over, that we were done, I started to walk away from him.

The agony is his voice as he called out tore at me, causing physical pain in my chest. I could tell that he wasn't going to let go, so I had to do something to push him away. I said things that were horrible and untrue, barely able to get them out without breaking down, and then I left him. I walked slowly to the door, going into the house and toward the stairs.

"Bella?" my dad yelled from the living room. As I began to ascend the stairs, I saw E.C. from the corner of my eye. He was watching me closely, and I stopped, turning to look at my beautiful little boy. He deserved so much better that what I had given him, and in one last effort to make things right, I steadied my voice as best I could.

"E.C., your daddy's outside waiting for you. Go see him." I turned and continued up the stairs, listening as he ran for the door, his little voice calling out to Edward. I brushed away the tears on my cheeks and went to my bedroom, quietly closing the door. As I clicked the lock into place, I lost it.

Sliding down to the floor, my head fell into my hands and I sobbed for all the things I'd lost—all the dreams I'd clung to since the day I met Edward in his kitchen. He was the one thing I'd always wanted, and I had to come to grips with the fact that I could never have him.

After a few minutes, I stood and walked to the window, carefully pushing the curtain aside and looking down to the yard below. Edward and E.C. were on the sidewalk, E.C. wrapped tightly in Edward's arms. I could feel the pain radiating from Edward as he clung to our little boy. He slowly picked up E.C. and walked toward the house. I wondered if he would come inside, and I quietly listened for the door. After not hearing anything for quite a while, I crawled onto my bed, letting my grief consume me once again.

After an hour or so, I heard a light knocking on my door. "Bells?" my father's voice said.

"Yeah?" I replied, trying to make my voice as even as I could.

"E.C. is asleep. Do you want him in there with you, or should I put him in my room for the night?"

I debated over what to do, not wanting my father to see me after all the crying I'd done. "Um, put him in with you tonight. He'll like that."

"Okay," he said. "I'm heading to bed. See you in the morning."

"Night."

I stayed on my bed until I heard my father's door close and the tell-tale creak of his bed as he climbed into it. I didn't want to see him. My sadness and anguish over losing Edward was quickly changing into something different—betrayal. My father had betrayed me; I knew it in my bones.

How he could have told Edward whatever he did, puzzled me. He'd stayed silent for over four years. Why now? Why, after all that time, did he suddenly feel the need to confess everything about my life? I was angry with him and I didn't want to spend even one more second in his presence. I didn't even want to give him a chance to explain himself or to clarify exactly what had been said between him and Edward. Thinking back over the past week, my father had nothing but good things to say about Edward, always encouraging me to spend time with him, to talk to him, and to work through our past. The more I thought about it, I began to realize that Charlie Swan knew a lot more than he had let on, and I was desperate to get out of Forks.

I tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen, quickly calling Leah and asking her if she could drive me to Port Angeles the next morning. She could tell that something was wrong, but she didn't ask, instead just assuring me that she'd be ready to go by six thirty. I flipped off the kitchen light, surrounding myself in darkness, and glanced up as I walked passed the living room doorway. Edward was still sitting on the porch swing, and as I stood looking at him through the window, his head lifted. Instantly our eyes were drawn to one another and my heart began to pound. I didn't think it was possible to cry any more, and I was surprised by the tears that began to pool in my eyes. I wanted him so much; it was all I could do to keep myself from running out the front door and into his arms.

The look on his face told me he was in as much pain as I was. Just as I reached the point of no return, where I was about to give in and see him, the light over the stairs came on. "Bells?" my father called from upstairs.

"Yeah," I whispered, my eyes still drawn to Edward.

"I put E.C. in your room, he was getting restless. See you in the morning."

His words, along with the memory of Edward grasping our son tightly in his arms earlier as I watched from my window, started my tears falling in earnest. He stood from the swing and walked toward the window, raising his hand and placing it on the glass. It was the definition of our relationship. We had always been so close, yet still so far away. We could see everything we wanted, yet there was always something standing in between us, and we could never be on the same side of the glass. I wanted it, all of the things that I dreamed I could have with Edward, but I was too realistic to think it could happen.

My eyelids slid closed as I broke away from Edward's gaze, separating us even more. My hand instinctively rose through the air, hanging there for a moment, and I wished I could walk to the window and place it against his.

After a few seconds, I turned and hurried up the stairs, shutting off the light before tip toeing into my bedroom. I gently closed the door behind me, not wanting to wake E.C. who was snuggled into my bed. I lay down beside him, wrapping my arm around him and burying my nose in his hair. He smelled like Edward, and I couldn't get enough of it. I cried for hours, holding on to the only piece of Edward I would ever have, and the tears only stilled once exhaustion claimed me.

The next morning I was tired, but determined to get away as soon as I could. I showered and dressed before my dad was even up, and I soon had E.C. dressed and ready to go. A few minutes after six, I started hauling my suitcases downstairs, only to be met by my father in the hallway.

"Getting started early, huh? Don't worry Bells; we've got plenty of time."

"Yeah, um… I don't really. Leah's gonna be here at six thirty to pick us up, so I need to get a move on." I hurried back into my room to grab the last of my bags, telling E.C. to put his shoes on before he ate his breakfast.

"What do you mean Leah's taking you? I'm driving you two to Port Angeles," my father said, his brow furrowed and looking a bit worried.

"Well, um...I called Leah and asked her take us. I don't think I really want to sit in the car with you for an hour today. Sorry Dad, but maybe you should have thought about how I would feel when you were getting all buddy-buddy with Edward." I pushed past him and headed down the stairs.

"Now you wait a minute, young lady. I'm not sure what's got you all wound up today, but I'm your father and it's my job to get you two on that plane. You can call Leah and tell her no thanks."

With that I heard his bedroom door close a little harder than normal. I could tell he was upset with me, but I didn't care. I was angry, and growing more furious as the morning went on. I quickly settled E.C. down at the table with an Eggo and some orange juice and told him to eat fast. He could tell that something was wrong, but he didn't ask. He was still a little tired, I could see it in his face, and he usually didn't talk much early in the morning.

Leah got there just a few minutes after six thirty and we started loading suitcases into her car as quickly as we could. "Bella, what's going on?" she asked, caution clear in her words.

"Nothing, I'll tell you on the way. I just want to get out of here as fast as I can."

My father came out the front door, clearly angry by the sight of me closing the trunk on all of our belongings. I went to his car to get E.C.'s car seat and had it strapped into the back of Leah's car within a few moments. When I headed back into the house to check and make sure I wasn't forgetting anything, my father and Leah were standing on the front porch, whispering rather forcefully at one another, and glancing over toward me every so often.

"I think we're about ready, Leah," I called out as I walked past them and through the door, my mind set on cleaning up the breakfast dishes so that we could leave.

"Bella," my father said, falling into step behind me. "Don't you think you should wait a little while? I mean, it's only quarter to seven. You're going to be so early at the airport. I'm sure E.C. would rather hang around here than have to sit still in those hard chairs in the terminal." I let out a small huff of annoyance as I cleaned up the kitchen table and told E.C. to use the bathroom one more time.

"It'll be fine, Dad. I've got things to entertain him, so it won't be a problem."

My father's eyes narrowed a bit as he looked to the floor, clearly thinking about something. "Well, fine then, but I'm still driving you. There's no need for Leah to waste all that gas, so I'll just go move your luggage over to my cruiser."

He started toward the front door when I turned around and followed after him. "No, Dad, we're going with Leah. I already gave her gas money and it's settled. Stop trying to run everything, you've done a good enough job with that already." Leah stood quietly in the living room after having followed us into the house. Her eyes were huge as she watched us fight and bicker with one another. She still didn't know what had happened and I could see all sorts of scenarios playing out in her mind. Her face showed so many different emotions that I actually started to feel bad for her.

"Well, I'm sure Leah has better things to do today than drive you to Port Angeles, I mean you did call her kind of last minute." He looked over to Leah and was quiet, clearly waiting for her to say something. When she didn't, he looked back to me. "Well, I'll just call Sue and see for myself. Leah is too kind of a girl to ever say she was too busy to help you out, Bells."

He stepped over to the phone, reaching out to pick it up. "Dad, just stop! She's driving us. If you want to tag along, then by all means, be my guest, but we're going in her car and we're leaving now!"

I stomped up the stairs to my bedroom, grabbing my purse and E.C.'s toy bag, along with my carry-on case. I looked around the room, checking once more to see if I was leaving anything behind. I didn't plan on coming back to Forks for a long time, if ever, and I didn't want my dad to have something of mine to hold hostage. E.C. was coming out of the bathroom as I entered the hall way.

"I wash'd my hands and everyfing, Momma." He held up his little hands to show me how clean they were, a big smile on his face.

"Great honey, let's go." I held his hand as we walked down the stairs and toward the front door.

"Oh! My mahbles!" E.C. called out, pulling his hand from mine and running toward the kitchen.

"E.C., why don't we leave those here at Grandpa's house and you can play with them next time, alright? We need to go, honey."

"Momma, no, I need dem. Daddy gived them to me, I wanna take em home." He ran into the kitchen, where my father was standing against the counter.

"Hey Bells, did you pack some snacks? Why don't you come and get some goodies for you two to eat on the plane. You know how much they charge for everything now days." As I stood looking at my father I finally realized what he was doing.—he was stalling. But why? Did he just really not want us to leave yet? Was he hoping to talk to me alone before I left? Maybe he wanted to apologize and didn't want to do it in front of Leah. I wasn't sure, but something felt very wrong about the way he was acting.

"What's the deal, Dad? Why are you trying to keep us here? You know we have to go." I watched him carefully as he let out along breath, his eyes finally rising to meet mine.

"I may have told Edward when we were leaving today, and he may be coming over to say goodbye."

All the air rushed out of my lungs at once and I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. "What? How could you do that?" I was furious, seeing only red before me, and my desire to get out of that house had just multiplied by a million.

"You should listen to him, Bella. He was only trying to help, just like you were. I think he and his family have been very forgiving about your choices concerning E.C., but when Edward gets scared of losing you and keeps information from you, you freak out on him. That's not fair. You need to give him a chance. He is E.C.'s father and you pushed the two of them together, it's not your place to pry them apart now because you're upset with Edward."

How could he be saying this? He knew what I'd gone through when I left Edward the first time. He'd seen how heartbroken I was and the torment I lived through. How could he think I was doing this out of spite or anger? Didn't he realize that I was the butt of everyone's joke? Some cruel, horrible prank played in an effort to teach me a lesson? He was clearly delusional and I needed to make it stop.

"Dad, you have no idea what you're talking about. Do you even know the kind of life he's lived the past four years?" I hoped that once I dropped the whole 'Edward the Man-Whore' bombshell on him that he would get over his blossoming bromance with Edward and once again side with me, his flesh and blood.

"Yeah Bells, I know. He told me."

My mouth hung open in shock. Tears began to prick my eyes, and I had to leave. "I'm going. I'll be in the car," I yelled to Leah, who was sitting with E.C. on her lap in the living room. I ran out of the house, letting the screen door slam behind me. Angrily sliding into Leah's car, I flung the door closed a littler harder than I should have and then buckled my seatbelt as I waited for everyone else to get in. The clock on the dashboard said it was a few minutes before seven, and I watched the road leading to my house with a sense of dread.

What would I do if Edward came driving up? Would I talk to him? Would I let him talk to me? Would I be able to resist him and stand my ground? We needed to leave, before I was faced with him, his voice, his smell, and his eyes... his everything.

Leah put E.C. into his car seat, then got into the drivers seat. She sat silently for a moment before finally saying that we were waiting for my father. Once he got into the car, she started it up and we pulled away from the house and from Forks. I would miss it, and I wondered, as we passed the last few buildings in town, when I would see it next.

It was seven-oh-nine as we whizzed by the 'Thanks for visiting Forks' sign. I closed my eyes for a moment and silently prayed that Edward was okay. I loved him, but I needed space, and I hoped that the next two weeks away from him would help me gain the right perspective so that when I finally saw him again, I could make a good, adult decision. My son was depending on me.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**EPOV**

I sat on the porch swing, a spot I seemed to be getting rather familiar with. As I turned the folded piece of paper over in my hands, I wondered how she could have left. I hoped it was just because she didn't know I was coming over—that she hadn't hurried out of town in an effort to avoid seeing me. I opened the paper again, tracing the lines of each letter and reading through it for the twelfth time.

_Edward,_

_I tried to stall her as long as I could, but she's anxious to leave. I'm sorry. We are leaving a few minutes after seven and it's an hour drive. Their plane leaves at ten thirty, so I'm sure you could catch us if you want to. Whatever you decide is fine with me, it's up to you._

_Charlie_

The tone of his letter didn't really tell me much about Bella's mood that morning, but it seemed pretty clear that she wanted to be away from me.

I debated over what to do. I knew I had plenty of time to catch them, to make her talk to me before they left, but I didn't want to cause her any more pain. I'd already done enough, and making a scene in public would just make things that much worse. Maybe we really did need some time apart so that we could both evaluation our relationship and what we wanted.

Glancing down at my watch, I saw that it was a few minutes before eight. I decided that I wouldn't follow her; I'd let her go. The thought of not seeing E.C. that morning hurt me, but if it would help Bella to deal with things, then I'd make due.

Not wanting to go home and face my parents and the questions I knew they would have, I got into my car and drove to the diner in the middle of town. It seemed busy, though I'd never been there early on a Saturday morning before. I sat down at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee and some breakfast. I didn't know anyone there, only recognizing a few of the older people that had lived in town since the dawn of time. The waitress was in her mid forties or so, and looked like she had been running ragged all morning. I tried to smile a little more each time she came by me, hoping to at least make one person feel better about life. I'd left Bella looking so completely broken the night before, that I figured I should probably try to redeem myself a bit.

"Here you go, sugar," she said in a sweet voice as she slid my plate toward me.

I thanked her and started eating, trying not to eavesdrop on the conversations happening all around me. It was impossible. Two old women seated in a booth behind me, who were easily in the mid eighties, were talking about their friend Betty who "needed a man" and had apparently found one that was only in his late sixties. Once they started discussing the new swimsuit Betty had bought and the modifications she'd done to the straps, and how scandalous it was that Betty intended to have sex with this man, I made myself stop listening. The two men sitting next to me at the counter were discussing a fishing trip, and I figured that was a conversation that would certainly be more interesting to Charlie than it was to me.

"You doin' okay there?" the waitress asked as she passed me again. I looked up at her, noticing the name Anne written on her name tag. I realized I'd only taken a few bites and she probably thought there was something wrong with the food.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind right now. The food is good, thank you." I looked up and smiled at her, watching as she chewed on her gum and shoved a pen into her hair.

"You need to talk to somebody? I'm a great listener, seventeen years of waiting on people does that to you. Everyone is fed for the moment and I've got time if you want to unload on me." I looked at her, taking in the kindness that shown through her eyes, and before I knew what I was doing, I was telling her everything.

She continued to pour coffee and take away dirty dishes for other customers as I spoke, all the while listening to every word I said. Once I was done, she stood in front of me, her hands on her hips.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she asked with a strange tone in her voice.

"I don't know," I said. "I didn't know what to do. I thought maybe I should stay away, if that's what she wanted."

"Honey, trust me when I say this. She might need time, but the only reason she's running is because she's hurt and embarrassed. From what you've told me so far, that girl is in love with you. You're a fool if you're just gonna let her leave without even trying to put up a fight." I nodded at her, considering what she'd said. Was Bella really just hurt? Was there a difference between being hurt and being angry? I wondered about it for a few minutes while Anne hurried to take a couple more orders. When she returned, I was startled to see her take away my half eaten breakfast.

"Hey, I wasn't done yet," I said, grabbing for the plate.

"Yes you are. Now, go get yourself in that car of yours and drive like the wind. You don't have much time, so I'd suggest you drive fast." She turned away from me, only glancing back to smile as I darted out the door. She was right; I couldn't let Bella leave without a fight. I loved her and she needed to know.

Looking at the clock, I realized that I only had an hour and fifteen minutes before the plane left. I had to make it—I couldn't let them leave yet. I needed to see them both one more time, and they needed to know that no matter what happened, I loved them—both of them.

Just my luck, five miles outside of Port Angeles I got pulled over. Granted, I was going eighty three in a sixty five mile per hour zone, but the policeman was nice and he recognized me. He had gone to school in Forks, graduating with Emmett, and when I explained why I was in such a rush, he just laughed and told me to slow down. I'd never been more grateful for the fact that Emmett was such a social butterfly, and I drove slower the rest of the way.

Pulling up to the airport, I parked as close as I could and ran into the building. The airport was pretty small and I found the sign that listed the flights and their departure and arrival times. The plane to Seattle was already boarding, and being that it was a smaller aircraft, I knew they wouldn't be boarding for long—there weren't that many seats. I hurried through the building and found the doors that led to the terminal area.

After rushing into the large open room, I searched the windows lining the building, easily spotting Charlie as he stood outside on the tarmac in the small, gated public viewing area. There was a girl standing next to him, who looked a lot like Leah, Sue's daughter. I wasn't sure why she was there, but was a little hesitant to approach her. She seemed like the kind of girl that might try to rip my head off if Bella had told her what had happened between us.

Pushing through the double doors, I was overwhelmed by the smell of aircraft fuel mixed with the pine of the surrounding forest. There were a couple of planes boarding, and I wasn't sure which one was Bella's. I walked toward Charlie, pausing next to him and meeting his eyes.

"Good choice, boy," he said, pointing toward the plane closest to us. I looked at it, peering into each window along the side, not seeing anything. Just as I was about to ask Charlie where they were, two little hands pressed against the glass and I saw brown eyes looking back at me. E.C. had seen me and I could see him jumping up and down against the window. A smile broke out across my face as I stepped closer to the fence that divided us, lifting my hand and waving to him.

I saw his mouth moving, the word 'Daddy" slipping from his lips, but I couldn't hear him. He began to wave back to me, turning to look at Bella, who must have been seated beside him. I watched him for a moment, memorizing his sweet little face and was thrilled when I saw Bella's face next to his. Her mouth fell open and I watched as she raised her hand to his lips, her fingers shaking a little. She looked like she was completely caught off guard that I had followed them, but I didn't care. She needed to know that I wasn't giving up, that she and E.C. were it for me, and I'd never be able to simply let them out of my life.

E.C. began to blow kisses to me and the plane engines started up. I stepped back a bit, and blew a kiss back to him. He giggled and looked to Bella, who still sat staring at me. I blew another kiss to her, mouthing the words "I love you" and was almost overcome with joy as she nodded her head to me. I hoped it meant that she loved me too—at least I was choosing to believe that until I was told otherwise.

The plane began to taxi out a bit and I plastered the biggest smile I could onto my face, hoping to send her off with that image—one of me happily in love with her. My fingers grasped onto the chain link fence that kept me separated from her, while my eyes stayed glued to Bella's through the window until the plane turned and I could no longer see her. Charlie came to stand behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder, and we stood together as we watched the plane take off. I let out a deep sigh as my family flew off into the distance, comforted in the fact that Charlie was feeling almost the same way I was. He loved Bella and E.C. as much as I did, and I knew he would miss them.

We didn't speak, simply stood together in silence until the plane was completely gone from our vision. As I turned around to leave, he walked beside me, clearing his throat. My eyes rose to meet his and I let out a little laugh at the words he spoke, being that they were nothing near what I thought he was going to say.

"So, can I get a ride home with you? I think Leah left me here. That girl...she seems sweet and all, but man, she can be feisty." I quickly nodded, feeling happy about the prospect of getting to spend a little more time with Charlie. As we passed her car in the parking lot, each of us receiving a death glare, he spoke again, his voice in a low whisper. "To be honest, I'm kind of afraid to be alone in the car with her."

I laughed out loud, grateful to have Charlie on my side. Now I just needed to sway Bella a little bit and get her to understand how I felt about her. For my sake and Charlie's.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So there you have it! And before anyone gets all freaky about the airport stuff, please know that I checked all of this out and it's completely possible. **_**MissyV**_**'s hubs is an airplane pilot who flies out of a small airport, ala Port Angeles, and he said this is ALL totally doable. It would have been a nice, romantic thing to have Edward buy a ticket just so that he could see Bella and E.C. off, but in reality the plane would not be allowed to leave the ground if he wasn't on it. That's just the rules now days. So unless I wanted him to actually get on the plane (which is NOT happening) or be hauled off to jail by airport security (which really isn't the way I want E.C. to see his dad for the last time just before he flies to the other side of the country) there had to be some other viewing type area. It works, so just go with it.**

**Also, I outlined the rest of this story, and as of now we're sitting at 40 chapters plus an epilogue. Of course, that number could change, but for the moment, that's what we've got, so we're not quite half way done. That's a good thing, right? :D**

**Story rec time…**

**I got sucked into one story this past week, and I know I'm late to the party and you're all probably reading it already, but if not, check it out. It's pretty good.**

**Just Wait by InstantKarmaGirl**

**Stutterward and a drugged out-sex fiend-curses like a sailor-Bella. Who wouldn't like that? I know I do. :D**

**http():()/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5320917/1/**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love. **

**I also posted the one shot I wrote for the Foxy Fics charity thing. It's in my story called **_**Beegurl13's Random Musings.**_** It's chapter 3, and it's called **_**You're Beautiful**_**. It's fluffy and sweet, and you probably won't believe that I wrote it. But I did. :D**

**And my one shot **_**Clipped Strands of Fate**_** got nominated for an award, which I'm shocked about. I think voting goes through August 30, so if you feel so inclined, head over to the site and vote. You don't have to vote for my story, but find something you do like in each category and cast your ballot. It's fun, and I'll make it easy for you by putting a link on my profile. See how nice I am? :D**

**Next chapter has the Cullen boys taking a little road trip. Oh Emmett…he's gonna be fun. :D Hopefully my computer issues will even out so it won't take me a month to get it posted. :D**

**Thanks chickies!**


	18. Chapter 18 Life After You

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a lot of ice cream in my freezer after a spur of the moment family birthday party at my house last night. My in-laws brought ice cream, onions, tomatoes, pears, and eggs. How random is that? :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections & Jasperlover16 **_**for prereading this. **

**I don't know what I'd do without you girls. **

**I'm grumpy, so that's all you get in the way of an A/N. Maybe I'll be feeling better by the time we get to the end of this sucker. :D**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 18 – Life After You

_Ten miles from town and I just broke down  
__Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road  
__I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home  
__To tell you I was wrong but you already know  
__Believe me I won't stop at nothin'  
__To see you so I've started runnin'_

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
__As long as I'm laughin' with you  
__I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after  
__After the life we've been through  
__'Cause I know there's no life after you_

"Life After You" by Daughtry

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The days passed by faster than I thought they would, though each time I saw E.C.'s picture or remembered the fight with Bella, my heart ached. I was anxious to get to Miami so I could see them both, but at the same time I was sad to leave Washington.

I wasn't a momma's boy, per se, but I did like being close to my family, especially after the drama of the past few weeks. My mom seemed to be feeling the same things I was. One minute she would remind me that I needed to pack and get things ready to go and the next she would start sniffling over the fact that I would be on the other side of the country. My dad came across as resigned to the fact that I was leaving, keeping himself busy with all the legalities of buying the condo I would soon be living in.

My dad's college friend, Aro, was able to find a relatively new three bedroom condo in an upscale neighborhood of Miami. It was located between the university and the house Bella lived in with her Mom and Phil, so I couldn't have been happier. I asked my dad why he'd insisted on having three bedrooms if I was the only one living there and he said it would be someplace for him and my mother to stay when they visited, but the grin on his face told me something more. I figured he was probably imagining Bella and E.C. living there with me, and maybe eventually there would be another child or two to fill the third bedroom. I knew that's what I was hoping for, anyway.

I decided on my way home from the airport, as Charlie and I talked about everything from his last fishing trip to the temper tantrum E.C. had thrown the day before, that I would call Emmett and see if he'd want to leave a few days early. I was ready to go and after planning our route—the one that would get us there the fastest—I felt like I was just spinning my wheels as I sat around waiting for him.

Thankfully, luck was on my side because Emmett was able to move some work things around and talk Rosalie into going to her mom's house a few days earlier than planned. By leaving early, I knew we'd miss Alice and Jasper when they got back from their honeymoon, but she and my mother were already planning a trip to Miami a few weeks a few weeks after I had gotten settled in. They insisted they'd need to come and decorate the condo since I had no style sense when it came to furnishings and décor, and they didn't want it to look like a bachelor pad. My mom was of the opinion that I needed to be a responsible father, so my house should reflect that. I figured it was more of an excuse for her to buy new things, as well as set up a room for E.C.

I hadn't talked to Bella since she'd left, but I called E.C. every night. Hearing his voice over the phone was a comfort and I loved listening to him as he told me all about how he'd spent his day. I talked to Renee, Bella's mom, a little bit, and while she'd been very polite, I assumed I probably wasn't her favorite person if Bella had told her any of what happened between us.

With a few weeks until my classes started, there was no real rush for me to get to Miami, which Emmett took full advantage of. He came to Forks after dropping Rose at her mother's house, and as we loaded my boxes into the U-Haul truck, he started telling me about his plans for our drive. Apparently he was looking at it as his one last guy trip before the baby was born and he wanted to do everything he could. He filled me in on all of his travel ideas, which basically had us chaotically crossing the country for the next two weeks, and as far as I was concerned, that wasn't happening.

"Yeah, I hear you can actually float in that lake, man! I'm so excited, I can't wait to try it out," Emmett said enthusiastically, looking like a kid on Christmas morning..

"What?" I asked, having not paid much attention to what he'd said.

"The Salt Lake in Utah? Hello! It has salt in it. You can actually float in the water."

I laughed a little at his comments. "You know, Em, you can float in most water, you don't have to go to Utah to do that. Besides, that's a little out of the way. I'm thinking we head east on I-90 until we hit Wisconsin, then we'll go south."

"What? No way! I got this all planned out. See, we're doing the Salt Lake thing, and then we're going south to Vegas. I wanna gamble and see some of those topless shows they have. Then we can head over to the Grand Canyon. I can't wait to see that! It's like this huge hole that water dug out, it's crazy!"

I looked at him as though he was insane. "Dude, I'm not going to Vegas. I need to get to Miami and the sooner the better. Nevada and Arizona are no where near where we need to go. We're going east, not south."

I stacked the box I was carrying into the truck and turned around to see Emmett pouting. "Ed, Eddy boy, you gotta see this trip for what it is—male bonding between two brothers. We need to take in everything we can. We need to see things, go places and meet people. We gotta do everything we can before we're too tied down to do anything else."

Walking past Emmett, I patted him on the shoulder. "Em, I'm already tied down, although not in the conventional sense like you. Besides, I want to see Bella and E.C." I was anxious to get to my family, and I was quickly becoming frustrated with Emmett's grandiose plans of touring America. Next thing I knew, he would want to stop at The Four Corners just so that he could stand in four places at once. "I'm happy you're coming with me and that we get to spend some time together, but I wanna see my son, you know? I miss him."

Emmett's lower lip popped out and he batted his eyelashes. "But what about me? I'm your brother, your own flesh and blood. You really want to deny me the chance to see where aliens landed and where Elvis lived?"

"What are you talking about? You said you wanted to go to Vegas and the Grand Canyon."

"Well, I do, but then we can drive through Roswell in New Mexico, and I wanna see Graceland, too. I mean, it's practically on the way, it would be a crime not to stop in and pay homage to The King."

I laughed at his ideas. It amused me that he had made so many plans, yet never bothered to tell me. While I found it a little annoying, I wondered if he hadn't said anything earlier because he knew I'd never go for it. I felt a little bad that I wanted to rush the trip, but my main focus was on getting to Miami and seeing my son and Bella. Even with that, I still wanted to tease him a bit. "Yeah, well, while we're at it, let's stop off in Dallas and see where the Cowboys play and then we can head to Atlanta and watch a Braves game."

His eyes lit up, and I watched as his body actually began to vibrate from excitement. "Really? I so totally want to do those! And please, please, PLEASE can we stop in New Orleans? I'm dying to see if that bead thing works. You know, you give a girl beads and she shows you her boobs. I gotta try it out, I mean I tried with Rose but she didn't do anything besides yell at me for throwing stuff at her."

I felt the need to explain to Emmett that Mardi Gras was the reason for the beads, and that it occurred in February or March. It was now the end of August, and I knew that there would be no festival happening when we got to New Orleans, but I just didn't have it in me to squash his excitement. I'd wait and break the news to him in a few days, and hopefully the sorrow of missing out on boob flashes bought by tossed strings of beads would make Emmett want to avoid the southern parts of Louisiana all together, getting us to Miami that much sooner.

The rest of the afternoon went pretty much the same way with Emmett telling me what he wanted to see on our drive and me replying that there was no way we were doing it. I figured my best bet would be to drive the whole way myself, otherwise, knowing Emmett, I'd wake up from a nap and find myself in Oklahoma as he chased tornadoes. However, I was a red-blooded American man and the thought of seeing the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders had almost convinced me to swing through Texas for just a few hours. I was certain that if I looked at the map, I could find a route that would take us there without having to detour at every tourist trap in North America.

Early the next morning, after grabbing my last few items, Emmett and I hooked up my car to the back of the moving truck and then went back inside to tell our parents goodbye. My mom cried while my dad gave us all the contact information for Aro, his old college friend that handled the condo purchase. He had the keys to the house, so we'd need to get a hold of him as soon as we got there so that we'd have immediate access to my new place. My mother had packed a lunch for us, including more food that I thought was really necessary, but after remembering I was traveling with Emmett, I completely understood her reasoning.

Before we even left the driveway, Emmett was insisting on driving first, and I figured it was probably safe, for the time being. He couldn't really detour from the map too much in the first few hours, plus I was wide awake. I hoped that I wasn't going to wake up from a nap and find us driving through San Francisco or something. The rental truck had a CD player, which was great, except that we couldn't decide on what to listen to. I had forgotten how different our tastes in music were, and when I tried to pop in a Daughtry CD, Emmett pulled out a Justin Bieber one, insisting that the driver got to pick to music.

There was no way I was listening to 'The Bieb,' and I nixed that idea right then. "NO! None of that bubble gum pop stuff you like and no rap either, so don't go thinking we're listening to Eminem the whole way." His face fell a bit, but then he pulled out something a little more suitable.

"So, you're okay with George Strait, but not with the Bieb-meister? What's up with that?" he asked, apparently confused at my eclectic taste in music.

"George is country and I like country, among other things. I mean come on, how many hours did we spend as teenagers having to clean house while mom played George Strait or Garth Brooks?" I asked, thinking back to how our mother would torture us.

Every Saturday was chore day, and before Emmett, Alice, and I could play with our friends, we had a list of jobs to do around the house. Emmett and I were into grunge music at the time, and as a way to get us to clean faster, our mom would turn the stereo to a local country music station. She refused to change the channel, or lower the volume, until all of our chores were done. It was the worst kind of punishment for us as young boys, and often times embarrassing too when one of our friends would drop by and hear the music in the background.

"Yeah, you gotta love Esme. She sure knew how to get us to clean, what with not turning that stuff off until we were done with our chores. She's a smart woman," he said as we both laughed.

"It was just too bad for her that we started to like it, and before long she had to threaten to turn it off if we didn't clean," I said. I remembered Bella and Alice dancing to a few Shania Twain songs. The sight of Bella in her shorts and t-shirt, singing along as she swung her hips, was enough to convert me to country music. Plus, there were a few slower songs that went well with making out, and I really liked pulling Bella into the backseat of my car on those occasions.

"Oh man, you know who I like?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit breathy. I cautiously looked at him.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but who?" I said, worry seeping into my mind. Emmett never failed to surprise me, and I wondered what poor girl had fallen on his radar this time.

"That Miranda Lambert girl. Have you seen her? Oh wow, she's hot. Seriously, the curves on that girl…" He glanced over to me quickly with panic on his face. "Don't tell Rose, please? I mean she knows I like the girl's music, but if she knew what I was thinking while I was listening to it…that would _not_ be good. I mean, I kinda can't help it. She looks like Rose, you know?"

I thought about what he was saying and nodded in response. "Yeah, I can see that. She's a cute girl."

"Who? Miranda or Rose? You'd better not be lookin' at Rose. I mean, we're brothers and all, but I'd still punch you if you made a pass at her."

I laughed, the idea of hitting on Rosalie being completely foreign to me. "No, Em, I'm not lookin' at Rose, don't worry."

Instantly his face was scrunched up in disgust. "Well what's wrong with Rose? She's gorgeous. Why wouldn't you be looking at her?"

Our eyes met as I stared at him in disbelief. "What? You just told me not to look at her, and now you're mad because I said I wasn't looking at her? Are you kidding me?" I shook my head as I laughed at him, wondering how on earth I could be related to someone so scatterbrained.

A quiet laugh rumbled from his chest as I turned to watch the road. "Yeah, I guess that's kinda weird, right? Yeah, don't look at her. Just…don't."

"Don't worry, Em," I said. "While I think Rosalie is a beautiful woman, she's my sister, or basically my sister, so I look at her the same way I look at Alice or Mom. I can appreciate their beauty, but that's it." I leaned back in my seat, looking out the window as the forest passed us by. I was pretty proud of the way I'd handled the whole situation, knowing that I could be smooth when I needed to be.

"Yeah, I guess it's the same way with me and Bella. I mean, the girl's hot. She's got a bangin' body and that hair…wow. But you know, she's like a sister to me, so whatever."

My head snapped in his direction. "Why are you lookin' at Bella? Don't be looking at her, she's mine. And besides, what's wrong with her? She's beautiful."

His laughter was obnoxious enough that it shook the truck a little, and as I watched him, I began to laugh too. I had missed this—the easy banter between me and my brother. As much as I wanted to get to Miami quickly, I also wanted to enjoy the time I had with Emmett.

We continued to discuss music, as well as places across the country that we wanted to stop and see. I didn't know where Emmett had come up with his tourist ideas, but he'd clearly done his research and had about ten places in every state that he really wanted to visit. I figured we could work in a few of them in as we drove, as long as they weren't too far off the beaten path. His face glowed as I asked him about some of the places, wanting to know more so I could decide which ones we'd stop at.

After several hours of driving, we were headed to Salt Lake City, Utah, in search of the Great Salt Lake. I had to admit, I was a little curious about the whole floating thing. Mostly, I wanted to prove to Emmett that it was just like every other body of water, but then again, maybe it wasn't.

After checking out the lake, which wasn't nearly as cool as Emmett dreamed it would be, we stopped for dinner and decided to check into a hotel room for the night. I quickly called E.C., knowing that it was pretty late for him, but needing to hear his voice. I told him all about our drive that day and how we'd gone swimming in a lake. He was pretty excited and told me that he'd gone swimming in the ocean a few days before. He said Bella went with him, as well as Jacob, her friend that I was still a little curious about. Actually, if I was being honest, I was jealous as all get out. Suddenly, I found myself wanting to get there as fast as I could so that I could assess the situation for myself. E.C. seemed happy, so I relaxed a bit before asking if Bella was there.

When she picked up the phone, my heart stuttered. "Hello?" she said softly.

"Hey," I said, kicking myself for not knowing anything better to say. "I just wanted to tell you that we should be there maybe this weekend, depending on Emmett's tourist tendencies. He's got a bunch of places he wants to stop, you know, do the road trip thing, so it's gonna be a bit longer than I'd planned."

"Oh, I didn't know when you'd be here, so that's fine. Did you talk to my mom about seeing E.C.?" she asked, her voice distant.

"Yeah, she told me she'd tell you about my trip and stuff. I was hoping to be there Thursday or Friday, but now it's looking more like Sunday or maybe Monday, I don't know for sure."

"Oh, okay."

"I was hoping I could see him when I get there." She was quiet for a moment before finally making a small noise, which I took to mean she was okay with that. "I'd like to see you too, if I could."

She cleared her throat. "I don't know, Edward. We'll see. Um, I'm sorry, I need to get E.C. to bed. I have work early tomorrow morning and he has a play date, so I gotta go."

I was disheartened at her words, but happy that she'd spoken to me at all. "Okay, sure. I know it's late. We just stopped so this was the first chance I had to call. I'll call you guys again tomorrow night, okay?"

"Alright. Talk you later then," she said.

"Night Bella. I love you. Can you tell E.C. I love him, too?" There was silence from her end before I heard her let out a long breath.

"Okay, I'll tell him. Be careful." She paused and I hoped that she'd tell me she loved me, but that didn't happen. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Love."

I flipped my phone closed, sad that she was still being so resistant to me. I understood it, but I didn't have to like it. As I lay on the bed of the hotel room, listening as the room's air conditioner hummed in the background, Emmett noisily burst in the door.

"Dude! They got vending machines right down the hall! You got any one dollar bills? I ran out." He dropped about a dozen candy bars and several bags of chips onto his bed, as well as four soda cans.

"Emmett, we still have all that stuff from mom, why are buying more?" I asked.

He looked at me as though I'd grown a third head. "Didn't you hear me? Vending machines! In the hotel! On our floor! It's like a law that you HAVE to buy stuff. Besides, I was really in the mood for M&M's, Starbursts and Twix. Plus, they had Cream Soda in the pop machine. Mom didn't pack us any Cream Soda."

I slowly sat up from the bed, eyeing the Snickers bar on his bed. "Yeah, I guess so, but let's save the rest of our ones for tomorrow night, okay?" He nodded, huffing as he heavily sat down on the bed, his hands raking over the snacks he'd just dropped there.

"Alright. I gotta call Rose, anyway. Say, you need to shower or anything? I mean, she's at her mom's house but I might get lucky. Maybe she'll miss me enough that I can talk her into phone sex." He stared off ahead of him, his eyes glazing over. "Man, we haven't done that since college when I'd go on road trips and she'd call me. She was always alone in her dorm room, wearing some skimpy little lacy thing, and she'd talk all sexy as she slid her hands—"

"Nope! That's enough!" I yelled as I jumped up from the bed. I grabbed the Snickers bar and a Root Beer and headed toward my suitcase. "I'm showering. I had better not hear anything even PG-13 rated when I get out of that shower, you got me?" He looked at me, clearly still off in Never Never Land with his memories of Rosalie on the phone.

"It'll be a long shower, don't worry," I said as I hurried into the bathroom, locking the door and starting the water just as I heard Emmett dialing the phone in a frenzy before getting comfortable on the bed.

He cleared this throat and then I heard his voice, the tone much lower and raspy. "Hey Rosie, whatcha doin', baby?"

_Ewww, no. So not happening._ I turned on the water in the sink too, just to make sure I couldn't hear anything, then sat back and ate my candy bar while I updated my Facebook page on my phone, which had been charging in the bathroom. After posting a few pictures of Emmett trying to float in the lake, I finally got in the shower, hoping I'd wasted enough time that he would be asleep when I got out. Luck was on my side, and as I stepped out of the steamy bathroom, I was greeted by the sound of Emmett softly snoring, empty candy wrappers littered all around him.

The next few days were pretty much a repeat of the first day. The only real excitement came when we were driving through Kansas and I decided a nap would be okay, figuring that Emmett couldn't get into too much trouble. We'd seen the Rocky Mountains and were headed to Kansas City to spend the night. I woke up that afternoon wondering why we were going north, only to have Emmett tell me that he had forgotten Mount Rushmore was in South Dakota, and it would be a shame to miss it when we were so close. After a few minutes of me explaining that several hours was not _so close,_ he agreed, and we turned onto I-80, heading for Omaha.

When we got to St. Louis, we stopped to see the world famous arch because goodness knows Emmett wouldn't let me live it down if we got so close and didn't see it. He was totally into all the structural elements of the design, and insisted we learn all about the designer Eero Saarinen. It was much more than I felt was necessary, but it made Emmett content, and I did find it kind of interesting, so I didn't mind so much. After that we were able to drive south toward Memphis, avoiding the detour to Nashville where Emmett was sure he'd run into Miranda Lambert outside of a convenience store, or in a restaurant waiting area.

One day we spent a few hours visiting Graceland while passing through Memphis. Emmett left with fake black sideburns glued to his face, and an Elvis rattle for his soon to be born daughter. He looked like an idiot, but as I watched him practically skipping back to the U-Haul truck, I had to admit to myself that he seemed happier and more carefree than I'd seen him in years. He later begged to stop at local café that served fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Unfortunately, I couldn't resist his "King" impersonation, and soon found myself sitting across from him eating a cheeseburger while he ordered everything on the menu that had to do with Elvis.

E.C. listened eagerly to my stories when I called him that night, and he was excited that I'd been picking up some souvenirs for him along the way. I asked to talk to Bella again, but Renee told me she was working that evening, and that she seemed anxious about me getting there.

"Is everything okay? Do you think she'll talk to me?" I asked, hoping to get a feel for what I was walking into. I was nervous about what she'd say, but I needed to know so that I wouldn't be caught off guard. I wanted to plan out how I was going to win Bella back, and the more information I had, the better things would probably go.

"Yeah, I'm sure she's alright. She's just tense, you know? A lot of things are changing and she's nervous." There was a tightness in her voice and I wondered what she thought of me.

"I know Bella probably told you what happened, but I just want you to know that I really do love Bella and I'd never intentionally hurt her or E.C. I'm really sorry for everything that happened. Can you please make sure she knows that? She won't listen to me and I don't know what else to do." I hoped that maybe if I pled my case to her, she'd understand I was being sincere and maybe help me.

"Oh Edward, don't worry. I know you love her, I believe you. I talked to Charlie the other day and he explained everything." I sighed with relief, hoping maybe things would work out. I had been so worried that Bella would completely shoot me down, ignoring me and not giving me a chance to make things up to her. If I had her mom on my side, pulling for us to make it together, then maybe I'd stand a chance with Bella.

"Thanks, Renee. I appreciate it. So, I think we should be there in a couple of days. We're planning to spend tomorrow night in New Orleans. My brother won't budge on that, but if it was up to me we'd be in Miami tomorrow night."

"You boys be careful and don't be too reckless. Don't speed either," she said. I hadn't really gotten to know Renee much in the past, but after speaking with her for a few minutes every day over the last couple of weeks, I was really starting to like her. She had never been rude to me and always seemed happy when I called. I wondered how Bella could be the daughter of Renee since they seemed to be so different—Renee was out spoken, funny, and a little overbearing, while Bella was quiet, careful, and thoughtful. I knew that they loved each other, and Renee seemed like a wonderful grandmother to my son. I was grateful to her for all that she'd done for him when I couldn't be there, as well as how she'd helped Bella.

"Yes ma'am," I told her before wishing her a good night and hanging up.

The next day Emmett bounced around, looking like a two year old hyped up on sugar. As we drove into New Orleans, his eyes widened, his hands shaking with excitement. I stifled a laugh as he started scanning the buildings for stores that sold beads. After trying to reason with him that the whole 'Beads for Boobs' thing only happened during Mardi Gras, it just made him grumpy, so I decided to let him find out for himself. I insisted that we check into a hotel before going out on the town for the evening and I was quickly getting tired of hotel beds and fast food, so I was looking forward to having some fun.

After settling in at our hotel, we easily found the main part of town, and with it being a Friday night, there were people everywhere. We didn't have any trouble finding a bar full of college aged kids, and Emmett and I both felt a little old as we sat watching people take turns singing karaoke. We noticed several different girls watching us, but neither of us paid any attention to them.

Emmett pulled out his pockets full of beads and after leaving the bar, we walked down the street, looking for girls that were already wearing beads. He didn't want to chance insulting someone, and lucky for him we ran into a whole group of girls riding around in the back of a truck. They screamed and shouted to us, causing Emmett to throw a few strands of beads their way. The smile on his face only broadened as they pulled their shirts up, shaking their breasts at him. I glanced away from them, consciously trying to not behave like the man-whore I'd been over the past four years. I wanted to change my life, to be better for Bella and E.C., and this was one of the things that had to be stopped. I was determined to prove myself worthy of them. I knew Bella couldn't, and wouldn't, keep me out of E.C.'s life, but I refused to give her a reason to keep me out of hers.

Emmett laughed at me as I kept my eyes glued to the sidewalk all night, insisting that a little looking wouldn't hurt. When I threatened to take a picture of him and a table full of drunk college cheerleaders, the hems of their shirts pulled up to their chins, he suddenly got very tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. I couldn't have been happier. When I called E.C. that night, I left out the part about the girls and the beads, but told him all about the bright lights of the city we had seen and the loud jazz music we had heard.

I could hear Bella talking in the background, but I didn't ask to speak to her. I figured I would give her a little more time, knowing that maybe once we were face to face, she'd be more open to talking to me. It would only be another day or so until I was with her, and I wanted it to be perfect. I had been picking up little things for her too as we traveled, and I hoped that she would like them.

The next morning, Emmett and I got started early, and as much as he wanted to drive through Atlanta to see the Braves, I insisted that we head for Florida. He didn't give up easily, asking if maybe we could drive to Savannah, Georgia, to see the ocean and where hurricanes came. I told him we'd see a lot of the Atlantic Ocean in Miami, and that hurricanes were there, too.

As we drove through Tallahassee, he saw a sign stating the number of miles to Daytona Beach. One threat of pictures emailed to Rose featuring him and bikini clad girls was enough, and Emmett suddenly had the urge to spend some time with E.C. He also started talking about taking pictures with E.C., things like the two of them playing on the beach, or sharing an ice cream cone, or even Emmett fixing E.C.'s dinner. It was pretty clear that he was anxious to show off what a good uncle he was, but I figured he just wanted to impress Rosalie with his supposed parenting skills.

Florida was a lot different than Washington, and as I stepped out of the truck after finally finding Aro's house, I knew I'd need a whole new wardrobe rather soon. My clothes began to stick to my body, and I wiped the sweat from the back of my neck as I listened to Emmett complain that he felt like he'd just stepped into a sauna.

In my mind, I repeated the saying I'd been chanting over and over again during the past week - _I love my brother. He's a raging lunatic, but I love him anyway. _We walked up the steps that led to the large home, and I was a bit overwhelmed by the style of the house. I knew the different angles of the architecture were interesting, but thanks to Emmett, I now knew more about the Art Deco style than I'd ever wanted to know. He seemed quite impressed by it all, so I knew this house must be something special.

A small Hispanic woman answered the door, letting us into the house and the foyer was huge and blindingly white. Every surface was shiny and the foyer space was wide open up to the third floor of the house. A large staircase stood in front of us, and as the woman dressed in a light blue uniform hurried out of the room, presumably in search of Aro, Emmett continued to compliment the house. It wasn't my taste, though I was sure it cost a lot of money and from what I remembered of Aro, money was no object for him.

"Edward! Emmett!" Aro called as he walked into the room, moving toward us to quickly shake our hands and greet us. "How was your trip? I trust things went well on your drive?" We both nodded in response, as Emmett started into a rather detailed description of our week. Aro laughed as Emmett told him how our travel plans had differed, and how we'd managed to see a few exciting things, even if we hadn't visited all the places he wanted to go.

Aro led us to his study, where he stepped behind a large, heavy wood desk. Opening the drawer, he pulled out a folder filled with very official looking papers and forms, sliding it across the desk to me. He also lifted out a set of keys and dangled them in front of me.

"Here you go, it's all set and ready for you to move in. You did bring furniture, right? I was unable to convince the previous owners to leave their furnishings, even with the extra money your father was offering."

"Yeah, that's fine. I've got a few things and then my mom and Alice are coming out in a couple of weeks to take care of everything else. I think I can survive on the bare minimum for a little while," I said. I was thrilled to finally have a place of my own, even if Emmett would be staying with me for the first week. Most of all, I was happy that I had somewhere to take E.C., though the thought of caring for him on my own made me a little nervous.

Aro smiled. "Oh, your mother is such a good woman, and I'll have to make sure and tell Kate that Alice will be here. I'm sure she'll be delighted to see Alice again. They always were close as youngsters." I tried to remember our combined family outings when I was growing up, and didn't really recall Kate, though I knew she was Aro's daughter.

From what I did manage to recall, she was blonde, tall, and skinny. She was Alice's age, and when I was ten, our families had gone on a cruise together. Kate tried to follow Emmett and I around, but we ignored her, instead choosing to joke about her 'bug eyes' that were clearly too big for her face. She and Alice had fun together, so I figured Alice would be excited to see her. I, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less. All I really wanted was to get to my new condo, unpack my stuff, and go see E.C. and Bella.

"You must come over for dinner tomorrow night. It would be such a treat for us to see you. Please, say you'll be here, won't you?" Aro said, waiting for Emmett and me to accept.

"Sure, I think we can work that out," Emmett said. I could already see his eyes glazing over as he was running elaborate menu ideas through his mind.

"Wonderful. I'll inform the chef and have him make something special for you. I'll make sure Kate is here, as well. I'm sure she'll enjoy seeing you two. She always did think so highly of you both." He clapped his hands together as a smile grew on his face.

I felt a little uneasy as he looked at us, as though he was sizing us up for something. Emmett and I glanced nervously at one another, then smiled and shifted uncomfortably. "Kate is always so busy with school, so focused and serious. I'm sure she'll love a chance to have dinner with two successful young suitors."

Emmett quickly cleared his throat. "Um, I'm married, you remember that, right?" he said.

"Oh yes," Aro said, his eyes quickly turning to me. "That's right, I remember that now. Well, lucky for all of us, Kate was always a little enamored with Edward, and you're still single, aren't you, son?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Obviously I didn't want to lie, but I was rather hesitant to tell him the truth. "Well, technically I'm single, but I do have a son, and he and his mother are here in Miami, so I'm hoping to not be on my own for too much longer."

The expression on his face seemed to fall a bit, the smile fading from his lips. "Oh, how unfortunate. Well, I suppose we shall see how persuasive Kate can be, won't we?" I swore I could hear him silently cackling to himself, and the thought of coming back to this house for dinner worried me. I tried to reason with myself, after all it was only one meal, and it was with one of my father's oldest friends. I could manage that, especially if Emmett was going to be there too.

After saying a quick goodbye to him, we were on our way to the new house. I was excited, but at the same time I was hesitant. I hoped it would be a place that was comfortable for me, especially since I'd be living there for the next four years at least. We entered the address into the GPS, and as we navigated the streets, I began to realize that I was going to need to invest in a system for my own car. I'd bought a street map book so that I'd be able to find my way around Miami, but there was no way I'd be able to drive and read the book at the same time.

We drove past the school I'd be attending and as we continued to the condo, I tried to memorize street names and landmarks. I recognized a few things from when I'd been to Miami before, but I was still overwhelmed by the sheer size of the city and the number of people. Emmett's mouth hung open as he openly stared at the people walking up and down the streets. Nearly half the women seemed to be wearing tank tops, and most had rather plunging neck lines. I hadn't seen so many breasts since my party days in college.

"On man, I gotta move here. You know its way too cold in Washington for women to dress like that," Emmett said, sounding a little depressed at not being able to see women with their breasts openly displayed to the public on a daily basis.

I laughed. "I'll bet Rose would walk around like that for you if you asked her too."

He turned to look at me. "Rose isn't walking around like that. No way are any other guys eyeing her rack, are you kidding me? Those babies are mine."

"Yeah, I think she'd disagree," I said. "Besides, pretty soon those 'babies' are gonna belong to another baby and you're not gonna get to see them for a _very_ long time."

His facial expression showed that he obviously didn't like that idea, but he let out a long sigh, knowing I was right.

After a few more minutes, we pulled up to the address I'd entered into the GPS. It was a gated community, which I liked. I wanted E.C. to be safe when he was at my house, and I didn't mind the annoyance of having to enter in a gate code each time I came in. The first paper in the folder Aro had given me had the code written on it, and we drove in, noticing the large park and swimming pool just past the entrance. I couldn't wait to take E.C. there so we could play or swim, though I figured he'd probably prefer the ocean.

We found the house number quickly enough and parked on the street in front of it. It was an attached house, sharing one wall with the next unit. There were shrubs along the front of the house with grass in the yard and a sidewalk that led to the door. The driveway was off to the side, with the garage in the back of the house. I noticed the empty little flower beds along the sidewalk and wondered if E.C. would enjoy planting flowers in them with me. Maybe, if I played my cards right, I could even get Bella to help us.

When we walked into the house and a thrill ran through me. It wasn't just an apartment like the place I'd lived during college - this was a home. More importantly, it was my home, and I had a family to fill it with.

As we checked out each room, taking in the spacious kitchen, the high ceilings in the living room and small family room, as well as the large master bedroom, I grew more and more excited. I couldn't wait for E.C. to see it. There were two decent sized bedrooms in addition to the master one, and I wondered which one he'd like. I decided that the first time I brought him over, I'd let him choose his own room, hoping that would make him feel more comfortable spending time here with me.

As I looked at each of them, I began to imagine what it would be like to have him with me. I could already see him playing on his bedroom floor, dragging toys all through the house, taking a bubble bath in the hall bathroom, and helping me cook dinner in the kitchen. Once I saw the back yard, I knew we would be happy in our home.

In a hurry to get things unpacked and set up, I hustled Emmett out the door, encouraging him to start bringing in boxes. Once I had the house straightened out, I could start on fixing things with Bella. I looked around one more time, knowing I was home, and aching to have my family there with me.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Emmett isn't a total idiot, he's just fun loving and a little excited about getting away with his brother. :D I like Emmett. And yes, his baby will be safe with him. :D**

**Want some stories to read? Here you go…**

_**Men Without Eyes**_** by danieller123 – Oh goodness, it's good. You know her other story, **_**Under the Apple Tree**_**, and this one is just as good. Wheelchair Edward and Single Mom Bella meet. Sparks are starting to fly. I have a VERY bad feeling about what's going to happen later in this story. And I can't wait to see if it does!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6272795/1/**

_**What Are the Chances**_** by danieller123 – I know, another one by the same author, but this story has me totally consumed, and the crazy thing is that the total word count for the story is 3,784, and it's 11 chapters. Each chapter is tiny, and she writes a chapter a day, but oh man…this story is good. I'm DYING to see what's going to happen in this. Let's just say – abused and neglected little girl Bella is rescued and basically kidnapped by twenty something Edward. As Bella grows up, it's obvious they are attracted to each other, but it's so wrong. And just let me say, that makes this story SOOOO right! :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6314633/1/What_are_the_Chances**

**And something complete…**

_**A Betting Man**_** by mybluesky – I'm sucked into this story right now. Edward makes a bet that he can get Bella into bed. Too bad for him she finds out, and his best friend offers to help her make Edward's life a living hell. This is fun…though I have a good idea where this story might go, and I'm gonna cry if it does. Oh, I do love the angst. :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5568348/1/**

**So, I wrote a little o/s for a contest. It's anon and the o/s is rather smutty. Hee-hee! I won't post it under this name, and for the next little while it won't matter, since the contest is anon and none of the entries are posted yet. Just know that eventually there will be a story out there that will make you all tingley. Well, that's what my prereaders said, right before they went and attacked their husbands. :D**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love. **

**I'm also signed up to write something for the **_**Fandom for Preemies**_** charity thing. There are well over 100 authors offering up their services. Since this is a cause that has affected people in my family, I thought I'd help. Check out the link and then start saving your money. I'm thinking of an o/s that might be a little smutty…and involve an Enrique Iglesias song. Have you seen that man and the way he wears a pair of jeans? The sight of him made me forget who RPattz was for just a minute. Holy Hannah…**

**http:/fandomforpreemies().()blogspot().()com/**

**Let me know what you think. And thanks for hanging in there. Excitement and angst are right around the corner… :)**


	19. Chapter 19 Airplanes, Wish Right Now

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a fancy new mouse trap since apparently I have a tiny black mouse in my house. I was gonna kill it with a snap trap, but the kiddies freaked out, and my Drama Queen daughter seems to think it will make a great friend for her gerbil. Oh, good gravy… :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore.**_** She's swamped with stuff and needed a break, so I gave her a pass for this chapter, but I'm still thanking her because without her…this story wouldn't exist.**

**So, a huge, mega, ginormous thank you to my ****superbeta **_**MaggieMay14**_**. She totally stepped up and braved this monster chapter for me, and in only 24 hours. I kinda love her… :)**

**Thanks to My Constants - **_**MissyV (MeowVemulapalli), Baby G (Risbee), and La V (missveritys). **_**I miss them…**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They both helped out with betaing this chapter, too. I told them to be brutal, and they were. I kinda loved it. It made me imagine them going after this chapter with little whips and floggers. Maybe a blindfold or two…some handcuffs… :D**

**Sorry this has taken a bit longer than I had planned. I've been working on an o/s for the Fandom for Preemies charity event. More details on that at the bottom.**

**Enjoy all the cute E.C. and Daddyward time…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 19 – Airplanes - Wish Right Now

_Yeah  
__I could use a dream or a genie or a wish  
__To go back to a place much simpler than this  
__Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'  
__And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion  
__And all the pandemonium and all the madness  
__There comes a time where you fade to the blackness  
__And when you're staring at that phone in your lap  
__And you hoping but them people never call you back  
__But that's just how the story unfolds  
__You get another hand soon after you fold  
__And when your plans unravel  
__And they sayin' what would you wish for  
__If you had one chance  
__So airplane airplane sorry I'm late  
__I'm on my way so don't close that gate  
__If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight  
__And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night_

_Can we pretend that airplanes  
__In the night sky  
__Are like shooting stars  
__I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now_

"Airplanes" by B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

My first night in Miami was spent unloading the moving truck. I thought we'd never finish, but a little before midnight we finally had all the furniture and boxes inside the house. We took a break for dinner around eight, ordering pizza from a nearby restaurant. I was grateful for the move-in special coupons from local businesses that had been left on my door. Otherwise, I feared Emmett and I would have either starved or gotten lost in the city as we searched for food. While eating, I'd called E.C. and told him I was finally there. I wanted nothing more than to rush over to Bella's mom's house and see him, but I knew that the moving truck needed to be returned the next day if I wanted to avoid paying any more money. Emmett's little side trips had cost me more time than I planned for, and I was going to be cutting it close.

I'd never really worried about money before, always figuring if I ran out, I'd call my parents. Now that I was on the other side of the country, I was realizing I needed to be more responsible, especially when it came to finances. Bella and I hadn't discussed any child support for E.C., but I couldn't, in good conscience, not pay her anything. I knew I should really be paying her for the past four years too, but she'd never asked for anything, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I figured I'd just start giving her or her mom money every week or so and then hopefully we could figure out something more concrete soon. I didn't plan to make payments very long. I fully intended to make up for what I'd done and talk her into living with me, where I would take care of her and E.C. It seemed like a good plan, and at the moment it was the only one I had.

After talking to E.C. on the phone and listening to him chatter on and on about the scrape he got on his knee, I spoke with Renee and scheduled a time for the next day when I could come and see E.C. I was a little saddened when she told me that Bella would be working all day, but at least I would be spending some time with my son, so I chose to dwell on that for the moment.

Emmett and I crashed on my mattress that was laying on my bedroom floor. We hadn't assembled much of the furniture, or put things where they would be going permanently since we were in a rush to get everything unloaded. I spent the night dodging Emmett's kicks and trying to drown out his snores. How Rosalie managed to sleep next to him every night baffled me, and by seven o'clock the next morning, I'd gained a whole new respect for her.

After digging through a few boxes before finding the towels, I took a quick shower and then woke up Emmett. I was anxious to get started on the day so that I could see E.C. that much sooner. I had to talk him out of calling Rose, reminding him that she was three hours behind us and probably wouldn't appreciate being woken up at five in the morning. Once we had dropped off the moving truck, he talked me into stopping for breakfast. I didn't really want to, but I knew I had another hour before I was supposed to pick up E.C. Plus, I figured if Emmett ate, he'd be a little easier to deal with.

He chose a pancake house down the street from the rental truck company, and as we entered, I noticed how bright it was inside. I was assaulted by every color of the rainbow splashed across the walls, and the fabric covering the chairs was neon green with all kinds of different colored shapes woven into it. The uniforms worn by the employee's weren't much better, consisting of various shades of pink, teal, and purple. Our waiter, Jorge, seemed a little too happy to see us, and it wasn't until he had brought me extra syrup, jam, and three types of muffins that I realized he was hitting on me. Emmett tried to keep his laughter to a dull roar, but once he saw the phone number written on our bill, he couldn't stop himself. I quickly pulled some cash from my wallet and left it on the table, along with a sizable tip and the receipt that was clearly meant for me. That was the most Jorge would be getting from me, and I made sure to remember the location of the restaurant so that I wouldn't accidentally stumble across it again.

"Man, I wish I'd had a pen. I so would have left your phone number for Jorge!" Emmett laughed, as we got into my car and started toward Bella's house.

"Shut up, Emmett. It's not funny. I mean, did you know that guy was hitting on me?"

He looked over at me, a smirk plastered across his face. "Uh, yeah. Didn't you notice all the rainbow stuff in that place? It was kinda obvious that he thought you were there for a reason, if you know what I mean." Obviously, I knew what he meant, though it still annoyed me that Emmett knew I was straight, yet wanted to hand out my phone number to the first gay man that made a move on me.

"Let's just get to Bella's, okay? I want to see E.C. And besides, we need to figure out what we're doing today. I don't know when he'll have to be home, so we should make a plan or something," I said.

"Yeah, you and your time management. Whatever, let's just live in the moment, dude. I'm on vacation!" Emmett said, lowering his window and thrusting his arms out into the sunshine. He moved them up and down in the air, telling me over and over again how his hands were just like the rudders on an airplane. I laughed at how easily entertained he was, and drove a little faster so that he could get more lift, while I got closer to my son.

As we neared the house, I worried for a moment that I wouldn't remember which one it was, but the sight of a woman working in her flower beds assured me that I had the right place. I pulled over on the side of the street and turned off the car, pausing for a moment to look at the house that I'd parked in front of.

"So, you want me to go up to the door with you, or is this a private kinda thing?" Emmett asked.

"Nah, yeah you can come with me, its fine." I remained in my seat, my eyes fixed on the house.

"Soooo, you just wanna honk and have him come on out or we going in or what? I mean, you got a plan for this or something?" he asked, looking unsure as he glanced back and forth between me and Bella's house.

Letting out a long breath, I pulled the keys out of the ignition and reached out to open the door. "Let's do this," I said, stepping out of the car and toward my son.

As we approached the walkway to the door, the neighbor lady greeted us, clearly remembering me from when I'd been there before.

"You're in luck, they're home today," she said, taking a little break from weeding her flowers.

"Thanks, I was hoping they would be," I replied. When I reached the door, I knocked quickly then stepped back, wondering what type of welcome I would be met with. I'd never met Bella's mother or step father, and even though I'd spoken to them both on the phone, I hadn't gotten a good feel for their opinion of me. I knew I could very well be walking into a firestorm, but the more worried I got, the more I tried to focus on E.C. The fact of the matter was that by making amends with Bella's parents, I was ensuring myself lots of time with my son, and I would do anything for that.

I heard footsteps from inside the house, clicking on the floor as they approached the door. I could tell that they were an adult, but just as they slowed, another smaller set of footsteps came pounding through. The corner of my mouth began to turn up into a smile when I suddenly heard from the other side of the door, "My daddy's here! Nana, my daddy's here ta git me!" Emmett and I both laughed a little and were smiling brightly as the door opened to reveal a woman who was clearly Bella's mother, as well as my son.

"Daddy!" he yelled as he flew out the door, leaping into my arms and clinging to me.

"Hey buddy, I missed you," I said, wrapping my arms tightly around him and clutching him to me.

"I know'd you'd come see me today, Daddy." My eyes closed as I held him, reveling in the moment and being grateful just to be able to touch him. When I finally opened my eyes, I looked at Bella's mother, who stood in the doorway watching us, a bemused smile on her face.

"So you must be Edward, I presume?" she said. I quickly nodded before she turned to Emmett. "And you're Emmett? The world traveler of the bunch?" Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I know Edward wanted to get here a few days ago, but there were so many cool places to see along the way. I couldn't pass that up." He and Renee laughed a bit at that, and E.C. pulled back from me a bit, looking into my eyes.

"You buy'd me a present, huh, Daddy?" he said.

"I sure did. I got you a bunch presents. I have them at my house so you can come get them one of these days, okay?" I said.

"Okay Daddy."

"Well, would you boys like to come on in for a few minutes?" Renee asked. Emmett and I both nodded and quickly stepped into the house. It was a nice home, nothing fancy but well taken care of and totally what I imagined when I pictured where Bella would live. E.C. was anxious to show me his bedroom, and once I sat down on the edge of his bed, he proceeded to pull out every toy he had on his shelves and tell me all about it. I laughed at his enthusiasm and listened intently to every word.

By the time we went back into the living room, Renee had gotten glasses of lemonade for us and she and Emmett were happily chatting about Graceland and New Orleans. Walking toward the couch to sit down, I noticed all the pictures around the room, and was instantly enamored with them. There were several pictures of Bella, starting from her childhood and progressing to present day. I saw a handful of frames grouped together on a table that all contained pictures of E.C. from the time he was an infant until rather recently. The only reason I could be sure it was him as a baby was that in one of the photographs, Bella was holding him. The smile on her face was radiant and I ached to see her again.

"Hey Daddy, you see me with Mickey Mouse, Daddy?" E.C. asked, pointing toward a colorful frame that held a picture of him at Disney World.

"Yeah, is that you?" I asked, watching as he happily nodded. "Looks like you had fun there."

"Yep," he said, popping the 'P' as he ended the word. "Nana buyed me a Goofy hat, and Momma taked me on da rides. I got a ice cream too. It was blue."

"Wow, sounds like a fun time. Maybe one of these days we'll have to go there again, what do you think?"

He jumped up and down and began to clap his little hands together. "Yay, Daddy!" I laughed, and soon heard Emmett laughing along.

"What are you boys doing over there?" Renee asked, waving her arms around and winking as me as she exaggerated her words and actions, looking at E.C.

E.C. ran over to the sofa, jumping up on it and landing next to Emmett. "Daddy gonna take me ta see Mickey. Can I go wit him, Nana?"

"I don't see why not, but we'd probably better talk to your mom first, right?" E.C. nodded along and looked back over at me.

I sat down next to E.C., waiting to see what else Renee would say. She talked a lot about random things, mentioning Bella's work and class schedules, and I tried to mentally take note so that I would remember when it came time to set up my own classes and labs. I wanted to be able to help out with caring for E.C., and listening to her speak, I got the impression that he sometimes went to daycare. I hoped that maybe with me here and available, he wouldn't have to do that as often. I wanted the time with him, and I hoped that Bella would let me be involved with the everyday activities of their lives.

"Well, can we take E.C. somewhere or do you have plans today?" I asked Renee, hoping that maybe Emmett and I could spend some time alone with E.C. As much as I loved being in her home and listening to her talk about my son, I still felt on edge—like things were going too well and the other shoe was bound to drop at any moment.

"Of course, he's your son after all," she said. "I have some errands to run this afternoon, but Phil will be home this evening and I think Bella should be, too. She had some school things to take care of after work, but I doubt it will take all evening."

"Great! What do you want to do, E.C.?" Emmett asked, reaching out to pull E.C. into his lap.

"Can we play ball, Daddy?" he asked before he began to giggle from Emmett's tickling.

"Sure, we can do that," I said, wondering where I could get a ball, and what kind of ball he was talking about.

He pulled himself out of Emmett's arms and ran into his bedroom, returning with a full sized football held securely in his hands. I had to laugh at the sight of it, as the football seemed to overwhelm him.

"Alright!" Emmett said excitedly. "You're on my team, little E."

E.C. laughed, handing me the ball. "No way, I'm gonna be on a team with my daddy, huh Dad?"

"You know it," I replied, reaching out to rub his head, leaving his hair in a tousled mess that looked pretty similar to mine.

"Well, he doesn't really need anything, I think you boys should be okay," Renee said. I wondered what she could be talking about, then my mind flashed to images of parents carrying around large bags filled with all kinds of kid stuff. I hoped I wouldn't need to get one of those, maybe E.C. was old enough to manage without anything like that. I still had a lot to learn about being a dad, and everyday I was feeling more and more out of my element.

I stood from the couch, letting the feel of the football in my hands soothe me. It had been a while since I'd held one, and the dimpled surface of it always seemed to calm me and put me in a better mood. I ran my fingers across the laces, letting myself remember the smell of freshly cut grass. I had always loved the feel of it under my cleats, and the feel of the ball in my hands was bringing back all of those memories—memories I wouldn't have if Bella had stayed. I let out a long sigh as I began to understand a bit more why she'd made the choices she had. No matter what the past held, the future was new, and I was excited to get started on it.

"Okay, we'll bring him home later this afternoon then. Is there anything else I need to know or can he pretty much answer any questions I might have?" I asked Renee.

"Oh yeah, is he allergic to anything or on any medications? Are there any foods he's not allowed to have or places he can't go?" Emmett asked, quickly turning into dad mode. I hadn't seen him so serious and focused in quite a while, and if I was being honest, it made me feel a little better about the fact that he was about to become a father himself.

Renee smiled and reached out to rub her hand along his upper arm. "Nope, he's pretty much good to go. He can eat whatever, there aren't any allergies to worry about, and no medication. I'm sure he'll try to talk you into buying him all kind of things and taking him everywhere, but you can use your own judgment on that. He's a good boy, aren't you, E.C.? You gonna be good for your daddy and Uncle Emmett?"

"Yep, I'm a good boy."

"Good." She leaned down so that she was almost eye level with him. "Why don't you run in and go potty really quick, and then get a drink so that you're all ready to go, okay?"

E.C. turned and ran off down the hallway and as soon as I heard the door slam, Renee stood back up and looked at me.

"He's very excited about today, so I apologize if he's a little wild for you."

I smiled at Renee's words, knowing that I was just as excited and probably feeling even more wound up than E.C. As I looked closer at Renee, I could see some of Bella's features in her. Renee's hair was lighter, as were her eyes, but her smile was identical to Bella's, and she gave off a sense of relaxation that made me feel at ease. I usually felt similar when I was around Bella, except for the lustful thoughts and butterflies in my stomach whenever Bella was within a few feet of me.

E.C. came bounding down the hallway, singing some song about washing his hands and using soap to kill the germ bugs, and ran into the kitchen to get his drink. We all stood silently in the living room waiting for him, and as the refrigerator door slammed, I heard his voice.

"I'n done! Let's go, Daddy!"

Renee scooped him up as he ran toward us. "You be a good boy for your daddy, okay?" E.C. nodded, wrapping his arms around her neck and hugging her tightly. "I'll see you when you get home tonight. I love you, baby." She set him back down on the floor and he reached for my hand, grabbing it and pulling me toward the front door.

Walking out the door, I turned to tell Renee goodbye, and was a little surprised by the tears that were present in her eyes.

"Is this okay?" I asked, letting go of E.C.'s hand and stopping as I listened to him and Emmett continue on to the car.

"Of course it is, he's your little boy. He's been waiting for this day for a long time. It's just really wonderful to finally see it happening for him, and for you. I know you'll be good with him, Edward. I have faith in you." I swallowed and let out a little sigh after hearing her words. I hoped that I didn't let her down, but I was still so insecure about myself when it came to taking care of my son.

"Thank you for that. I'm really kinda nervous, I mean, I know I won't break him or anything, but..." She stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder, smiling up at me. "I don't wanna mess this up."

Her smile grew. "I know you don't, and you'll be fine. He's a good boy, and you'll be fine. Trust me, everything will be exactly right."

I stared into her eyes for a few moments, and it was hard not to believe her. I wanted so badly to be good at fatherhood, and I knew that I just needed to take things one day at a time. It would happen for me, and I couldn't expect myself to be perfect right from the beginning. Bella had a four year head start on me in the whole parenting department, so as long as I kept trying, I figured I'd be okay.

"Okay, well, I guess we'll get going." I looked over my shoulder and saw Emmett and E.C. waiting in the car. "Oh, does he need a car seat or something like that? I didn't even think about it."

Renee laughed and mumbled something before she ran back into the house. A moment later she returned with something she called a booster seat. "You'll need to get something like this to keep in your car. It will make things a lot easier, but until you do, you can use this." I watched as she installed it in the backseat, E.C. groaning off to the side about being a big boy and not needing a baby seat in his daddy's car. Emmett and I laughed, remember when Alice used to do the same thing when we were children.

As I was telling Renee goodbye, her eyes lit up. "When you come back, I'll have Phil give you some things, I'm sure you'll want them."

"Okay," I said, clearly confused as to what she was talking about.

"Oh, it's just some videos and pictures, things like that. Just stuff we've been saving for you. I'm sure you'll love them." She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me in for a hug. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I hesitantly placed my arms around her shoulders, letting her squeeze me tightly. As she pulled away, she ran her hand along my chest and stomach. "Goodness, you are cute, aren't you?" she laughed.

What? Was my hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend's mom hitting on me? First Jorge, now Renee. I was afraid of where this day was going. "Um thanks?" I said cautiously.

She laughed boisterously. "Oh, you're easy to freak out, Edward. I like you. This could be fun, but really, nice muscles. Football's been good to you." With that, she turned around and strolled back into the house, looking back over her shoulder to wave to E.C.

I climbed into the car, still a little shocked over what had just happened with Renee. As if sensing that something was up, Emmett looked over at me, wiggling his eyebrows. "So, you settin' up a little side action, or just checking to see what Bella's gonna look like in about twenty years?"

"Em, that's gross, seriously," I whisper yelled at him, hoping to not draw E.C.'s attention to the subject matter of our conversation. "That's Bella's mother, my son's grandmother. That would be like you hitting on Rose's mom. Don't even joke about that."

"What? Mrs. Hale is a beautiful woman. I mean, we're talking pageant queen kinda pretty. Where do you think Rose gets it from? I know who I'll be living with when I'm old, and she's gonna be hot!"

He smiled at me as I shook my head, trying to get the image of Emmett and Mrs. Hale out of my mind. Starting up the car, I looked over my shoulder to E.C. and asked where he'd like to go. I wondered if there was a park or something nearby. For a moment I debated going back to my house and to the park located within the neighborhood, but I wanted to wait until I had things more unpacked before I took him to see where I was living. I wanted him to feel comfortable there, and to pick out his bedroom so that he would know I wanted him to be a part of my life.

"Beach!" he yelled, and I remembered him on the beach with Bella and Phil. That was most likely the place he felt most at ease playing football, so I turned the car around and headed down the street.

I found a parking spot relatively easily, and Emmett was excited at the thought of putting his feet in the Atlantic Ocean. E.C. and I laughed as we watched him run down the sidewalk, carrying his flip flops in one hand, and screaming like a little girl who'd just seen a huge, hairy spider. I had to admit that his enthusiasm was infectious, and soon E.C. and I were running after him, anxious to find a little relief from the heat by soaking our feet in the waves.

I was thankful that we'd all worn shorts, though the sun would have most likely dried our drenched clothes in a few hours. Watching E.C. run through the sand, chasing after the water, and then trying to outrun the waves, was incredible. He laughed, squealed, and yelled each time his feet got wet, and Emmett and I took turns chasing after him. Several times I grabbed him from behind, then swung him up into the air and over the waves, pretending that I'd drop him. "Daddy, no!" he'd yell. As soon as I'd set him down, he would grab onto my legs and hug me for a few moments, then turn and run back down the beach.

By the time we finally got around to playing ball, it was well past lunch time. There was a small concession stand where we bought some sandwiches and drinks, sitting in the sand to eat them. E.C. was happy, the smile never leaving his face. The way he looked at me made my heart melt, and each question he asked made me love him even more.

"Those birds are catchin' fish, huh, Dad?" he said. I mumbled a yes to him, then a few moments later he asked something else. "I'n gonna find a sea shell tuday, huh, Dad?" I nodded, insisting that we'd try. "You gonna throw me da ball, huh, Dad?" Again, I nodded, assuring him that I would. Emmett laughed at each question, but I could tell he was excited for the day it would be him getting the questions from his daughter.

Once our lunch was done, and we'd taken E.C. to the restroom and put some sunscreen on him, we tossed the ball around a bit, just to see what E.C. was capable of. I had a good idea of his skill level from watching him and Phil play around on this same beach a couple of months earlier. Once I'd proven my point to Emmett, impressing him in the process, we got down to a serious game of football. E.C. was on my team while Emmett was on his own. I pulled E.C. in for a quick huddle, explaining the play to him, and had to contain a laugh at the little furrow in his brow. He was concentrating hard on what we were going to do, and as we walked to the scrimmage line, I warned Emmett that he'd finally met his match—he was going down. I snapped the ball, stepping back as E.C. ran through the sand. Emmett made a showing of trying to decide who to go after, before finally turning to chase E.C. As he slowly ran toward him, E.C. turned around and held his arms out wide.

"I'n open, Daddy!" he yelled, and I carefully threw the ball right to him. He caught it with both hands, which surprised me a little, and before I knew it, he was sprinting down the beach with Emmett hot on his heals. Pride swelled in me and I couldn't believe the natural talent I saw in him. After crossing our makeshift goal line, E.C. turned around and threw the ball into the sand, then proceeded to do a touchdown dance—waving his arms in the air while wiggling his hips and legs. He was happy, and I was elated to witness it.

"Dang E, he's good." Emmett said to me as I ran towards the goal line and high fived E.C.

"Yeah he is. Where do you think he got that from, huh?" I smiled brightly at Emmett, letting the feeling of pride take over. Now, after all this time, I finally knew how my parents had felt about me, and why my mom was always so embarrassing to be around right after football games.

We spent a few more hours playing, having E.C. throw the ball, as well as catch it and run simple patterns. Emmett and I both took turns being on his team, and we spent a lot of time teaching him different maneuvers and tricks, making him even faster as he ran away from us. By the end of the day, Emmett and I had to actually try to catch him, having given up on letting him beat us. Emmett claimed that it was just the heat of the day wearing on us, and that E.C. was used to it. My instincts told me that E.C. was a natural, and that someday he would be a force to be reckoned with on a football field.

By evening, we asked E.C. where he wanted to go for dinner, and he insisted McDonald's would be good. After driving around for a little while, we finally found one and were happy to see that it had a play center. Emmett and I were exhausted, but E.C. seemed to be just getting started. I really hoped that it was only the excitement of the day, like Renee had said. Otherwise, this fatherhood thing was going to do me in. We sat down to eat our hamburgers while E.C. ate his chicken nuggets. He wanted to go play, but trying to be a good dad, I insisted that he eat his dinner first, which he did. He carefully watched me throughout the meal, and I noticed that any time I took a drink, he took one too, and anytime I ate a french fry, he ate one too. It was cute and very sweet, and I had to hold back a laugh each time he did it.

After he was finished, he ran to play in the tunnels, calling down to Emmett and I every few minutes from the top level. I heard him talking to a few of the other children as he played, and noticed that most of them were girls. We watched as they followed him down the slides, through the tunnels, and around the room. He seemed happy to have the company, but when Emmett noticed him asking the girls to do things for him, and them falling all over themselves to do it, he started to tease me.

"Oh boy, you're going to have your hands full in about ten years," he laughed.

I looked pointedly at him. "You're one to talk. I can't wait to see how things turn out with your mini Rose."

His smiled suddenly vanished and mine increased ten fold. "She's never dating. Ever," he said, matter-a-factly, and turned to watch E.C. climb into one of the tunnels.

"Well, that should be fun for you then, having your daughters all live with you until the day you die. Just think, never again will you get to chase Rose around the house naked. And no more sex in every room, those days are long gone..." I didn't know if he really did those things, but the look on his face told me that I probably wasn't too far off base with my guesses.

"I might have to rethink this," he said as he rubbed his hand over his face. I laughed, settling back into my chair and looking around the room. I hadn't noticed all the other families sitting near us, or how many mothers there were. One woman sitting a few booths down from us was looking at me, and I suddenly got the feeling that we should leave. Soon. Just as I started to tell Emmett that it was time to go, I saw her stand up from her seat and start to walk over.

"Emmett," I whispered, "Let's go."

He looked at me strangely, asking why. Just as I was about to tell him, the woman reached our table.

"Hi," she said in a sultry voice. "I noticed that cute little boy you brought in here. He looks just like you. Are you his father or maybe an older brother?" She was batting her eyelashes like crazy and pushing her boobs out farther than could have possibly been comfortable.

"Um, I'm his dad. Thanks for thinking he's cute, that's nice of you." I cleared my throat and looked at Emmett, trying to convey to him with my eyes that I wanted to go.

"Yeah, he seems to have really hit it off with my little Hillary. Maybe we should set up a play date, exchange phone numbers and all that." She pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and started clicking her long, obviously fake, hot pink fingernails across it. She was a pretty woman, not too much older than me, but not anywhere near my type. I most likely would have already asked her to sit down if she'd approached me a year ago, but as she stood before me, the only thought running through my head was that she wasn't Bella, and I wasn't interested.

"Well, I don't know, I'll have to talk to his mother about that. She's pretty protective of him, so it might not work out." I hoped that my words would let her know that I wasn't available, but they seemed to have no affect.

"Oh, so you're married then?" she asked. Emmett started to laugh.

"No way, not even close," he said, amusement shining through his expression.

"So you're single?" she purred, leaning over a little and squeezing her boobs together a bit more.

"Well, I wouldn't say that," I quietly said, reaching across and taking hold of Emmett's left hand that was laying on the table. Her eyes were instantly drawn to my actions, and I began to playfully touch the wedding band around his ring finger. He flinched a little, and when he tried to pull his hand away, I wrapped my fingers around it, holding it in place.

"What the—" he said, before I cut him off.

"There's no need to hide it, honey. I told you, we're in a new city and no one is going to say anything." I was pleading with my eyes, while kicking him under the table. After letting out a long sigh, he hung his head.

"Yeah," he said in a monotone voice. "He's not single."

I let out a small sigh of relief then looked up at the woman. "Sorry, but thanks for asking."

She stood frozen for a moment, just looking at us. At first she looked scared and a little freaked out, but soon enough she smiled.

"You boys wouldn't be interested in a little threesome action, now would you?"

I about threw up, and Emmett jerked his hand from mine. He was out of his seat in no time, running for the play center as he yelled for E.C., telling him it was time to go. I cautiously picked up our tray and stood from the table. "Sorry, no. He's not really into that kinda thing, and neither am I." I dumped our wrappers and cups into the trash can and pulled E.C.'s shoes from the shoe rack, waiting for Emmett and E.C. by the door. The woman had returned to her table and sat watching us, lust still clear in her eyes.

It wasn't until we were a few miles from the restaurant that Emmett and I began to laugh about the whole situation. He laughed so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes, and it was all I could do to keep my focus on the road. E.C. sat in the backseat, looking at us like we were insane.

"Daddy, why you laughing?" he asked.

I simply shook my head and told him that Uncle Emmett and I were telling each other a funny joke. He seemed to be content with that, until we were almost back to Bella's house.

"Daddy, did you like that mommy at McDonald's? I saw'd her talking to you." I froze, and hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't mention it to Bella. I didn't need her having any more reason to stay away from me.

"Um, she was nice. Have you seen her before?" I asked, suddenly wondering if perhaps she was someone that he knew.

"Nope, but her face was all yucky." Emmett and I looked at each other, curious as to what he meant by that, but then he continued. "Her had those red lips an all dat blue stuff on her eyes. She's like a clown, huh, Daddy?"

I smiled and nodded, agreeing with his assessment. I also prayed that if he ever mentioned it to Bella, she would think he was talking about an actual clown. I could dream, right?

When we pulled up to the house, the sun had already set and I noticed two different cars in the driveway. I assumed they must be Bella and Phil's since I knew Renee was supposed to be gone. E.C. was yawning, finally, and I had to remind him to take his Happy Meal toy into the house with him. We walked up to the door and E.C. knocked, then turned the handle and pushed it open. "Momma!" he yelled as he ran into the house. Emmett and I followed behind him, closing the door once we were inside.

"There's my guy!" we heard a low voice say. The man that I recognized from the beach came around the corner and reached down to pick up E.C. "Did you have fun today?" he asked. E.C. nodded, holding up his little race car and showing it to his grandpa.

"I getted a car in my Happy Meal, Papa. See? It's red like Lightning."

"Well, look at that, it is. He's red just like Lightning McQueen in your movie, and I'm sure he's gonna go fast, isn't he?" Phil asked, with E.C. nodding excitedly. Phil looked over to us and extended his hand to me. "Hi, I'm Phil, Bella's step dad. You must be Edward."

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," I said as I shook his hand. E.C. was squirming in his arms a bit, and Phil set him down on the floor.

"Where'd my Momma?" E.C. asked, looking around the room.

"Oh, I think she's getting ready for bed, why don't you go see if you can find her."

E.C. took off toward the hallway and disappeared into a room. I could hear him excitedly chattering away, but I didn't hear Bella's voice.

"Is Bella here? I'd really like to talk to her if I could," I asked nervously. Emmett stood next to me, and it dawned on me that I hadn't introduced him. "Oh, this is my brother Emmett. Emmett, this is Phil." They shook hands and exchanged greetings.

Phil cleared his voice. "Well, I think she's in the shower right now, why don't you two have a seat and I'll go check."

We took a seat on the sofa and waited, relief washing over me when E.C. came back into the room. He was carrying a ball point pen with him and looking for a piece of paper.

"Hey little E, let me see that," Emmett said, calling E.C. over to him.

Phil came back down the hall with a strained look on his face. "Uh, she's just getting into the shower, so I don't think you'll want to wait around. She'll probably be a while, she usually is."

My heart sank at the news, and I wondered if it would be considered rude to insist on waiting for her. I knew she wasn't excited to see me, but the fact that I was in the same house as her, separated by only a few walls, was killing me. I could literally feel her presence, my body practically vibrating from the electricity in the air. I just wanted to talk to her, even if only through a door, so I stood from the couch to face Phil.

"Do you think she'd talk to me for just a second, just through the door?" I asked. The look on his face wasn't a promising one, so I decided to beg a little bit. "Please? You don't even have to ask her; just tell me which door is hers."

He looked at me for a moment before telling me which door was her room, and I quickly walked down the hall and through the doorway. There was another door inside the room, and I assumed it went to the in suite bathroom. I lightly knocked on it and waited.

"Yeah?" Bella said cautiously.

"Bella? It's me, it's Edward. Uh, I know you're getting into the shower and I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to say thank you for letting us take E.C. today. We, uh, we went to the beach for a while and then took him to get dinner at McDonald's, so I hope that's alright."

"Oh, um thanks Edward. I'm glad you had fun. Uh, sorry about this, I just got home and really need to shower and get to bed. I have to work early tomorrow, so I hope you understand."

"Sure, no problem. I was wondering when I could see E.C. again. I'd like to spend some more time with him, if that's okay with you."

She let out a sigh. "Yeah, that's fine. Maybe just talk to my mom tomorrow, she knows everyone's schedule and can tell you a good time."

I grazed my fingertips across the door, wishing that she would just open it and let me in, but I knew that probably wouldn't happen. "Okay, well we're gonna go, so have a good night. I'll see you soon."

I heard her move behind the door, and when I glanced down to the floor, I could see the shadow of her feet come closer to the door. When she spoke, she sounded so much closer, and I could hear a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm glad you had a good time. Good night."

I kissed my fingertips and pressed them to the wood grain of the door. "Good night, love."

When I walked back into the living room, I saw Emmett and E.C. holding their hands in the air, their fingers folded tightly into a fist, and their thumbs slowly moving up and down. They were both talking in silly voices, and as I got closer I could see that Emmett had drawn little faces on their hands, and he was teaching E.C. how to make his puppet hand talk.

"Daddy, look! I makin' him talk all by'd myself!" I laughed and noticed Phil laughing too.

Emmett's hand started to move and when he spoke, his voice was low and gravelly. "I'm gonna go home now, E.C. You be a good boy and brush your teeth. I didn't brush my teeth and now look at me, I'm toothless. Awwwww!" He shook his fist around, really hamming it up for E.C., who was laughing hysterically.

I bend down and picked E.C. up, holding him snugly to my chest. "You be good tonight, okay? I'll come back and see you tomorrow. I love you, E.C."

His strong arms twisted around my neck and he hugged me tightly. "I love you too, Daddy. I see you and Unca Em tomorrow." He placed a big kiss on my cheek, and then I buried my face in his neck, kissing and nipping and teasing him. He giggled and squirmed, but I couldn't get enough.

As we were heading for the door, Phil called me back for a second. "Here's a box Renee said to give you. It's got some pictures and videos and stuff that she thought you might like to have. All of this is for you to keep—she's got her own copies of everything. Just enjoy it." He lightly patted me on the back of the shoulder as I took the box from him.

"Thanks so much, and please tell Renee thank you, too. Tell her I'll come by tomorrow sometime to see E.C., if that's okay."

Phil smiled and nodded, assuring me that it would be fine. I waved one last time to E.C., who was lying on the sofa and clearly running out of energy fast. Emmett and I walked out to the car and I set the box into the backseat. I couldn't wait to get home and open it—see what kinds of things Renee had saved for me.

Once we were home, Emmett headed into one of the spare bedrooms. We had set up a mattress there that morning before returning the moving truck, and he was going to sleep there, saving my shins from the torture of his kicks all night. I knew he would call Rosalie before he went to sleep, so I took my box and slipped quietly into my bedroom, closing the door so that I could be completely alone when I opened it. There were a couple of small photo albums filled with pictures, and I noticed that all the pictures were in chronological order.

The first book began with a pregnant Bella, who was clearly irritated that her picture was being taken. I didn't care, she looked beautiful, and I wished I could have seen her that way. Her skin was radiant, glowing through each image, and I smiled at the sparkle in her eyes as her hands lay resting across her quickly expanding abdomen. The swell of her stomach made me ache, and I imagined what it would have felt like to lay my hands across her skin and feel E.C. kicking inside of her. Even though it had only been a few weeks, it seemed like ages since I had kissed the stretch marks on her belly. I wondered what it had been like for her as our son was growing within her. I had missed so much, and it was breaking my heart to see the pictures of her going through all of it without me.

I flipped through all the pictures in both books and laughed at a lot of them, showing E.C. in different messes he had created or activities that they had done. I could tell from the photos that he was a happy little boy, and that he'd been well cared for. I couldn't be angry with Bella for that—she'd done an incredible job with him so far, and I would be eternally grateful for that.

After thumbing through the books, I noticed a video tape at the bottom of the box. There was a note attached to the top of it, and as I opened it, I saw a message from Renee.

_Edward,_

_I thought you should have this. Bella and I always agreed that it was important to document important parts of E.C.'s life for you so that someday you would be able to share in the moments and see what a sweet and wonderful little boy he is. Those times that are included on this tape, Bella knows about. However, there is something else here that she doesn't know about. To be honest, she doesn't even realize that I know about these other moments. Please don't tell her, as I know she would be embarrassed. These are just things that I, as a parent, would want to know. I hope you can appreciate them and not be angry. She really did think she was doing the right thing when she left you in Washington. Please don't be angry with her._

_Renee_

I hurried to the other side of the room and pulled out my television and the old VCR/DVD combo player that I had. I was extremely thankful that I still had it, because I was dying to see what was on the tape. After hooking everything up, I pushed the tape into the player and waited, anxious to see what images would pop up.

I sat for over an hour watching all the milestones of E.C.'s life. I saw him take his first steps, and I heard his speak his first words. My heart tightened when I heard him saying "Dada" for the first time, as Bella say next to him with a picture of me. I watched as he rolled over, and as he crawled. I saw him running down the sidewalk, and playing in the waves at the beach. I saw his first birthday and several Christmases, along with Easter egg hunts and swimming lessons. Each scene burned into my memory, and before I knew what was happening, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. I had missed so much, and up until this moment, I'd never realized exactly how much that was.

The tape ended with footage of E.C. and Phil playing football on the beach, the date stamp on the bottom reading June 20, 2010—my birthday. I watched as he ran around wearing his Cullen jersey, and I hoped that maybe next year I would be able to take him there myself on that day. I thought back over our day together and how much fun we'd had. Only one regret stood out in my mind—that Bella wasn't with us. I tried to imagine what it would have been like to have her there, sharing that moment with me. I wanted more than anything for us to be a family, and I let myself imagine what it would be like as I finished watching pieces of their lives from the past four years.

The scene ended and there was a bit of static. Just as I was about to turn it off, a blurry image appeared on the screen. As the picture cleared, I could tell it was a hallway and it seemed to be in a hospital or something. Squinting my eyes, I tried to get a better view, and was instantly curious when the camera panned up and into a room. There, sitting on a bed in the dimly lit space, was Bella. She was wearing a hospital gown and in her lap laid a newborn E.C. I knew it had to be only a day or two after E.C. was born, but as I watched, I became completely caught up in the sight of her. She was so unbelievably beautiful, and as I stared at her in awe, her lips begin to move. She was whispering and talking to E.C, but I couldn't hear what she said. I turned up the volume on the television, and finally I began to hear sounds. The camera zoomed in closer and I could see that she was crying as her hands stroked over our baby's head and face, his arms and tiny fists.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry he's not here." She sniffled a little before continuing. "I'm sorry to do this to you. It's not fair, but I promise to tell you about your daddy every day. And I promise that someday I'll take you to see him, and I know that he will love you no matter what, even if he hates me."

She sniffled again and paused for a few moments, then continued. "You're perfect, and exactly what he always said he wanted, you just got here a little bit too early. I'll make it right, I promise, my little Edward." Her fingers danced across his forehead and she pursed her lips. "You look so much like him already. I think I'm glad for that. Look at all this red hair you have, and that sweet little nose. You're gonna be a heartbreaker just like he is, aren't you?" She laughed as she lovingly gazed down at him.

Tears poured down my face and I couldn't find the will to stop them. I marveled as she hummed to him, settling him when he began to fuss a little. She seemed like she knew instantly what he needed, and I was jealous of that. After a few more minutes, she spoke again.

"I'm so scared, baby. What if I mess this up? What if I did the wrong thing? What if he never forgives me? I'm so sorry." Her eyes pressed closed and her breathing picked up as her face twisted in pain. "Oh Edward, I wish you were here. I wish so much..." She scooped E.C. up and cradled him against her chest as she cried, sobs taking over her body. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she continued to cry.

I could feel her heartache, and see how afraid she had been. I was feeling the same way and I knew from watching her that she hadn't always just known what to do. She felt scared and insecure about parenting, too—I wasn't the only one. I resolved, as I watched her cry, listening as another quiet sniffle closer to the camera started, that I wouldn't give up on her. No matter how many times she pushed me away, I would keep trying. I might have been a little late coming into E.C.'s life, but I was here now, and I was going to make it count. I hoped that Bella would call me, or even just see me. Whether she did it now or later, it wouldn't matter—she would have to come around eventually, and when she did, I would be ready.

The scene continued on the video. Just before the footage stopped, I heard her speak once more. "I miss you, Edward. I love you." She cast her eyes up to the ceiling, as if looking for guidance or advice. "What have I done?" She continued to look up, blinking back tears, and for a moment it looked as though she was wishing on a star, though I knew she was indoors and that was impossible. I wiped at the tears on my cheeks and replayed her final words in my head for the rest of the night. "I wish you were here..."

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So my friend, who is a very wise author in the fandom, told me once that people review more if the chapter is angsty. I think that's true, because I gave you funny Emmett last chapter and we only got about half the normal reviews. :D Just so you know, the angst is starting back up next chapter, so even though there will be some sweet and fun moments mixed in, the story is going to start gearing up for the big heartfail. I can't wait! :D Oh, and next chapter we're meeting a couple of people that we haven't seen yet…and I can tell you for sure that one of them is totally up to no good. :P**

**Want some other stories to read? Here you go…**

_**Unplanned Perfection**_** by littlecat358 – I love this story. It's a pregnant Bella running away story, and actually reminds me a lot of this, but it's different. And it's good, too. I'm totally loving it, and Edward's reaction to finding out he's a father is nothing like My Edward's. It's kinda great.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6229263/1/**

_**Secrets and Lies**_** by BellaScotia – I am totally loving this story too. It's another pregnant Bella, but Edward is OLDER and there is a lot of mystery as to exactly what went down between them, and WHY Bella high-tailed it out of Forks ten years earlier. It's good. Trust me. :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6331684/1/**

**And for something complete…**

_**Halfway Home**_** by Stella Luna Sky – This is a one shot that is so good…I fell in love with it. Bella is torn between her past and her present, and she has to choose. It's beautifully written and it will tear at your heart. It's incredible…no joke.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6338203/1/Halfway_Home**

**So, I am writing an o/s for the Fandom for Preemies event. I'll add a link in my profile. There are over 100 authors offering up stories, so it's a great deal. I have a cousin who gave birth to her first baby when she was only 22 weeks pregnant. It was a very long road for them, but today he is a happy, healthy 3 year old, and we couldn't be more grateful.**

**I also wrote something for the TwistedCoupleContest. I sent it in over a month ago, and the contest is anonymous, so I can't say if it's posted yet or not, but the deadline is tomorrow, or today, depending on where you live. I have no idea where the contest is going or how many entries they've received, but I'll add a link to that too, just in case. You don't get to vote, but there is a Reader's Pick, which is decided by both review count and content of reviews, so go read and review. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.**

**One more thing, one of my best friends lost her father to a long battle with cancer today. If you're lucky enough to still have your dad with you, hug him and tell him you love him. You just never know… :)**


	20. Chapter 20 Escape

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a jury summons for Friday. I'm a little excited…I've never had Jury Duty before. :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore.**_** This week I was reminded how much I appreciate her. She's helped me so much…I would never be able to repay her or thank her enough.**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They help me more than they know.**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They are kind of incredible, and I would be afraid to do this without them and their amazing input.**

**Thanks to My Daisy, **_**BittenBee**_** for the coffee info. Believe it or not, I've never actually been in a coffee shop, or drank a cup of coffee. I think I had a sip of my Grandma's when I was a little girl, and it did not taste good. I'm happy **_**BittenBee**_** took mercy on us all and helped me out here.**

**So, this chapter should go over the 1000th review mark, which I am stunned about. Thank you so much to all of you for being so nice to me. I love it. As a reward, I'm offering something to five of you. Instead of saying "The 1000****th**** reviewer gets the next chapter early" I'm going to say that I will choose at random one reviewer from before 1000 and one after 1000, and they will get the next chapter a day or two before I post. **

**Also…I have three items in this chapter that come straight from my favorite tv show ever. The first person to name one of the things will also get the next chapter early. Name as many as you can find in your review, or look to see which ones have already been named, and then pick another one. It shouldn't be too hard since my profile names my favorite show. Let's see what a dork I am. :D **

**So we're clear, early chapter 21 will go to –**

**1 reviewer BEFORE 1000  
****1 reviewer AFTER 1000  
****1 reviewer that names the FIRST ITEM  
****1 reviewer that names the SECOND ITEM  
****1 reviewer that names the THIRD ITEM**

**And you never know, I might send it to Reviewer 1000 too, just for kicks. :D**

**Hope you like this…**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most – Chapter 20 – Escape

_Here's how it goes, you and me up and down  
__But maybe this time we'll get it right, worth a fight  
__'Cause love is something you can't shake  
__When it breaks all it takes is some tryin'_

_If you feel like leaving  
I__'m not gonna beg you to stay  
__'Cause soon you'll be finding  
__You can run, you can hide  
__But you can't escape my love_

"Escape" by Enrique Iglesias

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

It was nearing the end of the week and Emmett was getting anxious to go home. After almost two weeks away from Rosalie, he was climbing the walls and driving me crazy. I was almost ready to schedule an earlier flight for him myself but I knew that once he left I'd miss him. He brought out a fun and adventurous side of me that I rarely displayed anymore and it was proving to be something my son really enjoyed.

We saw E.C. every day, taking him to parks, malls, the airport, and several different beaches. Emmett said he was trying to build up as many memories with his nephew as he could since he knew they would only see each other a couple of times a year. However, I thought that Emmett simply reveled in the attention of every woman that came within twenty feet of us. I had to admit it—my son was a chick magnet.

One look from him had grown women melting and falling all over themselves. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that as I watched E.C. on a few different occasions, it seemed to me that he completely understood what he was doing. It was like he had a power over the female population, and as much as it thrilled me in the proud papa sort of way, it also terrified me. I'd been a teenage boy not so long ago, and if E.C. grew up to be anything like me, Bella and I were going to have our hands full.

Try as I might, I still hadn't seen Bella. She was always gone to work, meeting with professors, and one day she was even buying books. Though Bella seemed to be busy, it felt a little more like she was avoiding me. Renee apologized profusely and insisted that I keep trying with her and that eventually she would come around. Renee and Phil had proven to be major supporters of Bella and I being together, which surprised me a little. They bent over backwards for me when it came to E.C., always making sure that he was available any time I was able to take him and I was grateful for that, because things had been hectic to say the least.

Once I was able to get in touch with a few of my Professors, I discovered that a lot of my registration papers had been completed incorrectly, and half of the transcripts that had been received were for some guy named Zhang Lee. Once I was able to meet with the school administrators, they set about fixing the mistakes and setting up my class schedule. I was looking forward to getting back into classes, and I was even excited about labs, which were in addition to my regular class time. All that class time meant I would be spending several hours a day on the school campus, but that was fine. Renee assured me that we would figure something out as far as E.C. was concerned.

It was Friday morning and I was late for a meeting with a professor. As I ran out the door, I reminded Emmett that we had dinner plans that evening with our dad's friend, Aro, and his family. Emmett groaned when I told him, insisting that he felt a cough coming on and shouldn't risk exposing anyone else. I laughed and glared at him before I hurried toward the campus.

The house was finally set up enough that I could function, even cooking a couple of meals in the kitchen. E.C. had spent Thursday afternoon there with us, deciding on which room he wanted to be his. I thankfully stored away my remaining boxes in the extra bedroom, waiting to unpack them after my mother and Alice got done decorating the house. They were planning to visit in a few weeks to help set up E.C.'s room. He was very excited about the furniture catalogs his granny had sent for him, and continually looked through them, pointing out different items. My heart swelled with pride as he began picking out sports themed accessories, and I couldn't have been happier when the vast majority of them were football related. He even chose a small play set at a local store that was being delivered and constructed in the back yard. There wasn't a lot of room, but the yard was big enough for what he wanted. I hoped that he would spend many happy hours playing there.

My appointment finished much sooner than I planned, and I debated over what to do. I knew that E.C. was gone for the day with Phil, since I was supposed to be busy all afternoon. Emmett was most likely talking to Rosalie, or attempting to keep our mother from telling Rose any more stories about our childhood. Rosalie was spending the week with our parents and Emmett was a little frightened by how close she and our mother had become.

Sitting on the bench outside my departments building, a thought struck me. Bella was supposed to be working for the day, and the café she worked at was in the heart of campus. Surely she couldn't avoid me if I was a customer at her place of work, right? She'd have to talk to me, and even if she didn't say much, at least I could look at her and she would be able to see me. I knew that she was still hesitant and scared, but in my heart I had a feeling that if I kept up my pursuit, eventually she would wear down and talk to me. With a new fire fueling my spirits, I hurried along the sidewalks until I found the student center and the many different restaurants located around it.

There were several different café's and I wasn't sure which one she worked in, so I figured I'd take my chances. The first store was very small, and clearly a specialty type shop. Most of the items on the menu board I couldn't even pronounce, and when a small woman with fiery red hair appeared from the back room, I instantly felt this was the wrong place.

The next café I saw looked to be much larger, and I could see a lot of people milling around outside. The doors were open, but the walls were mainly made up of windows, so I was able to see inside fairly easily. Standing behind a long counter were a few different people, though none of them looked to be Bella. I figured it was best to bite the bullet and just go in, so with determination, I walked through the doors and toward the counter. I watched the workers busily doing their jobs, and looked around for a familiar head of brown hair.

"Can I help you?" a deep voice called out. I glanced at the people standing near me for a moment before realizing that he was speaking to me.

"Oh, sorry. Um, yeah, I'll just take a regular coffee. Large, please." The man behind the counter looked at me, studying my face for a moment before glancing down at my clothes and then returning his eyes to mine. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Room for cream?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks." I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and waited as he played with the register for a moment. I got the impression that he was upset about something, but I wasn't sure what. Taking the moment to look at him, I was surprised by how big he was. I stood at just less than six foot two, and this man had a few inches on me, easily reaching six foot five. He looked to be of Hispanic descent, his eyes dark and hair almost black against his tan skin. When he spoke, his teeth were snow white and I thought about what a contrast that was to his dark complexion.

"Would you like anything else? Sandwich, muffin, or cookie with that?" He continued to stare at the computer in front of him, not once raising his eyes to look at me.

"Oh, um…I'll have a lemon poppy seed muffin." As he punched more information into the computer, I thought about Emmett and E.C. and quickly added another muffin and a few cookies to the order.

"That's gonna be seven dollars and twenty three cents."

Pulling a ten dollar bill from my wallet, I handed it to him. When he gave me my change, our eyes met for just a moment and I was taken aback by the rage that I saw there. Who this man was, I wasn't sure, but he was obviously upset with me for some reason. I waited until he handed me the bag containing my baked goods and my cup before I asked him what I really wanted to know.

"So, is Bella here?" I asked, trying not to appear overly anxious.

He let out a small huff. "Nope, she's not here."

I looked up at him. "Oh, she said she was working today. Did she go home or something?" I asked, moving down the counter to the station where the cream and sugar was kept.

"No, she's over at another store for a while. You want me to give her a message when she gets back?" he asked. I didn't have a good feeling about this guy, and I was relatively certain that anything I told him would never reach Bella.

"No, that's alright, I'll just talk to her tonight," I said, stirring my coffee before placing the lid back on the cup. "Thanks."

He grunted at me and I turned around to find a table, figuring I had plenty of time, so I'd sit and drink my coffee while I waited to see if Bella would show up. After sitting for about fifteen minutes, and half way through my muffin, the large mountain of a man from behind the counter was standing at my table.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

I looked up, slightly unnerved by just how big he was. I figured even Emmett would probably back away from a fight with this guy. "Yeah, it's good. Thank you." Assuming he would go away, I took another bite of muffin and slowly chewed it.

"I know who you are," he said before sliding into the seat on the other side of the table from me.

"Excuse me?" I asked, surprised and wondering where on earth I would have ever met him.

"You're Edward. You're E.C.'s dad, right?" he asked. Who was this guy and how did he know me?

"Yes, I am. Who are you?" I questioned, shocked that he seemed to know my son. He did work with Bella, but would she have brought E.C. here? Did my son and I really look so much alike that this man could pick me out as his father after only a few minutes?

He extended his giant hand across the table, offering it to me. "I'm Jacob or Jake as Bella prefers to call me." My eyes sparked with recognition, and he caught it, a grin taking over his face. "I take it you know my name," he said smugly.

I swallowed thickly before clearing my throat. "Yeah, she mentioned you once." I reached my hand up and grasped his, shaking it roughly and feeling his bones squeezing into mine. "She said you were a friend of hers. Nice to meet you."

He released my hand after several seconds, and I tried to not show the discomfort I was experiencing. If his intention was to show me that he could squash me with one blow, then his message had come through loud and clear. Not that I would willingly hand Bella over to him, but she had assured me that they were nothing more than friends, so I hoped it would never come to a fight for her.

He grinned at me. "Friend, huh? Yeah, as if that's all I am." His voice was quiet and menacing and I wondered exactly what he was getting at. His apparent disgust with me made me wonder what, if anything, was going on between him and Bella. Maybe he was simply delusional, having some kind of crush on the woman I loved. What if he had dated Bella in the past? "So what are you doing here? She said she told you to stay away, so why are you here?"

I took a sip of my coffee, trying to rid my head of the murderous thoughts that were suddenly running through it. I wanted this guy gone, and I could tell he felt the same way toward me. "I was on campus setting up my classes and I had some extra time to kill, so I figured I'd come by and say hello. I'm going to be spending a lot of time at the school this year, so I thought I should probably get acquainted with where Bella works."

"Oh really? Well, she's not here, so you can go if you like. She's been working a lot over at the other store, so she probably won't be here too much this fall."

I smiled. "I'm a very patient man. I can wait for what I want." This was quickly turning into a duel for Bella, and I didn't like where it was going. Jacob leaned across the table, the forced smile falling from his face.

"Listen, I'm telling you this for your own good, Bella doesn't want you here. She doesn't need you — she already has what she needs, if you get what I mean. She might have told you we were friends or whatever, but that's not the extent of it. She was just afraid to tell you what's really going on. She figured it was best kept a secret from you." His eyes lit up with the word secret, and suddenly my mind was drawn back to a conversation between Bella and Sue in Charlie's kitchen.

"_You need to tell him, Bella. The sooner, the better."_

"_I know," replied Bella, "I will."_

_Sue looked at her, slowing her actions. "Be fair to him. Tell him before it's too late."_

Is this what Sue was talking about? Was Bella dating this guy? As I watched a smug smile take over his face, I remembered another conversation between Bella and I as we made out on Charlie's sofa.

"_Who's Jake?" I asked. Her eyes popped open._

"_What?"_

"_Jake, who is he? I mean, I know you said he was a friend, but Phil asked if I was Jake the first time I called you. I just want to know who he is. I mean, are you dating him or something? I don't want to move in on some other guys' girl. I just need to know, before we go any further with any of this," I said as I motioned between us._

"_Jake is my friend, that's it. I work with him. He actually got me the job at the café on campus where I work," Bella said simply. "We had an English class together and the teacher paired us up to study. I mentioned one day that I needed a job, but that no where would hire me because of my weird hours. He was working there, got me an interview and he talked our manager into hiring me. He's just a friend, I promise."_

She was dating him. She had lied to me, and kept him a secret. Anger started to build as I let out a long sigh. She was such a hypocrite, angry at me for keeping things from her, things from my past that had no direct effect on our future, while she was hiding something from me that was pretty important. The fact that she had a boyfriend explained her hesitance toward seeing me, especially now that she was back in Miami. Something didn't feel right as I thought over things, but I knew what she had told me and what she had done, and I knew what I was seeing and hearing. It had to be true, she had a boyfriend and she chose to lie to me about it.

"I figured you'd get the point sooner or later," he said, his smile growing wider. I seethed as I sat there looking at him, dying to smack that grin right off his face, but I knew I couldn't do that. Well, I couldn't do that and live to walk away afterwards.

"Well, I'll just wait and talk to Bella about that. Maybe tonight, when I see our son."

Fury, once again, flashed in his eyes as his smile fell a bit. "Oh yeah, E.C. He's a great kid. He told me all about playing football with you and your brother the other day." I began to fume in anger as I realized that he had seen E.C. this week. The idea of another man spending time with my son infuriated me, and it was all I could do to keep myself in my seat. "Hope you liked all the moves I taught him. He's a pretty quick learner and when I showed him how to throw a spiral, he was a natural, I could tell," he said as he sat back in his seat, his arms folding across his chest as he glared and smiled at me.

I had wondered where E.C. learned so much about football, and some small part of me was hoping it was from Phil since I knew Bella didn't have an athletic bone in her body. Apparently, Jake had spent more time with E.C. than I realized, and I didn't like it.

"Yeah, well I think I caught the problems early enough that they won't have a lasting effect on how he plays. I corrected the mistakes you made, but I appreciate the effort you put forth. I think I've got him headed in the right direction now, so I can take over from here. Thanks."

"Whatever," he mumbled before standing from his chair. He turned and looked down at me, quieting his voice. "Bella's mine and I won't put up with you hurting her, you got that? You just occupy yourself with all the pretty tail around campus and leave my girl alone. I don't think you'll have any trouble finding adequate bed partners around here. I have it on pretty good authority that Steph over there would bang you. Why not start with her?" He nodded his head toward a pretty girl standing behind the counter, refilling shelves. She smiled when she saw us look over toward her, and I heard Jake let out a laugh.

"No thanks, I think I'll stick with what's already mine," I said.

His eyes turned to steel and the skin around them crinkled. "Watch yourself; you're in my town now." With that he turned and walked back to the counter, quickly stepping around it and slamming through a door and out of my view. I grabbed my bag of treats for Emmett and E.C. and stood from my chair, tossing my cup into the trash can as I walked toward the door.

"Have a good day. Hope to see you again soon," a girl's voice called out. When I glanced behind me, I saw Steph waving toward me a little. I raised my hand to her and kept walking. The conversation I'd just had with Jacob began to consume me, and I felt anger flaring up stronger than I had in a very long time.

Bella had clearly lied to me and kept her relationship with Jake a secret. How she thought that was okay was beyond me, but I fully intended to get to the bottom of things before I decided on a course of action. I still wanted her, she was still the mother of my son, and she was still the only girl I'd ever loved. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I owed it to her to at least get her side of things, but she was making that rather difficult by not talking to me. I tried to calm my emotions a bit as I walked to my car, hoping that maybe that night after dinner with Aro's family, I could catch Bella at home and finally get things figured out.

Emmett devoured his muffin, just like I thought, and we spent the rest of the afternoon playing Halo 3 on my Xbox 360. As we annihilated each other over and over again, I tried to think of some kid friendly games I could get to play with E.C. As much fun as Emmett and I had playing together, I felt like E.C. and I would have had an even better time. I knew I didn't have the whole fatherhood thing figured out just yet, but I was relatively certain that watching people's heads explode was not something a three year old should be exposed to.

As five o'clock rolled around, we wrapped up the game and got ready for dinner. I didn't dress up in anything nicer than a pair of Dockers and a green button down shirt. I didn't have anyone to impress and I assumed I'd be fending off date set ups from Aro all evening, especially once he finally accepted that Emmett was married and unavailable.

After ringing the doorbell at Aro's home, we were greeted by the maid and led into an elaborately furnished living room. She brought us both drinks before going to tell Aro that we had arrived. The smell wafting through the house was incredible and my stomach began to growl, clearly anxious to taste whatever had created the heavenly aroma. Emmett played with his glass, swirling the scotch around while trying not to spill it. I laughed at how focused he was, his brow furrowed in concentration, and was relieved when I heard someone enter the room.

Looking up, I was shocked by what I saw. There was a woman standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes focused solely on me. The longer I looked at her, the more sure I was of her identity. She didn't look like the little girl I remembered, and she had clearly grown into the overly exaggerated features she had been cursed with as a child. Her hair was cut into a short bob, curling in just under her chin, and it was bright red and wavy. Her eyes sparkled back at me as I watched the corner of her mouth pull up into a smirk.

Kate Jones.

"Hi Eddie, how are you?" she said, her voice sounding the same and making me cringe a little bit.

"Kate. I'm good, how are you?"

"Oh, things are fine. So, my dad says you're here for dinner and something about you moving here for school?" She quirked an eyebrow up as she waited for my answer.

"Yeah, I'm starting medical school next week and the university here has a really good program. So what have you been up to? You in school, too?"

She dropped her arms to her sides and began to stroll across the room toward us. "Yep, fashion design. My dad knows someone who'll hire me, but they wanted me to have a degree first. You know, just so it all looks honest and proper." She plopped down into the sofa across from us, crossing her legs and flashing more thigh skin that I thought was appropriate, but it was her house, after all.

"Emmett, how you doing? I heard you got married to that Rose girl."

Emmett smiled at her. "Yep, married and having a baby. Things are pretty great. How about you… any prospective husbands on your radar?"

Kate's eyes flashed to me. "Maybe, we'll see how things play out."

I cleared my throat and dropped my eyes to the glass in my hands. Me as her potential husband was not going to happen and my nervousness about the evening began to grow again. As we sat in silence, no one really knowing what to say, Aro walking into the room, followed by his wife. I'd never heard her referred to by any name other than Mrs. Jones, not even by my parents, so that was all I'd ever called her.

"Emmett, Edward, so glad you could join us this evening. Kate here has been looking forward to seeing you every since I told her about our plans. Isn't that right, Kate?" he asked, his gaze remaining on me.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yes father, that's right. I'm so excited…" I could hear the sarcasm in her voice and I wondered what was really going on. She had seemed happy to see us, until her parents walked in.

"Well, let's go into the dining room, shall we? I think the chef has prepared a delightful meal and I'm famished." Aro turned to lead us down a short hallway and into the large dining room. The table could easily seat twenty people, so our small party of five seemed inappropriate for such grandeur. I was puzzled by the sixth place setting and wondered if maybe Aro had invited someone else.

After taking a seat next to Emmett, with Kate directly across from me, we settled into an uncomfortable silence. Finally, Aro began to speak. "So how are things with the house? Did you find it all to your liking, Edward?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's great. We've got everything moved in and set up. Now I'm just waiting for my mom and Alice to come finish decorating so that it doesn't look so much like a bachelor pad."

Kate's eyes lit up. "Alice is coming? When?" I glanced between her and her mother, who also had an excited look on her face. She and my mom had spent a lot of time together when I was growing up, so I figured maybe she was looking forward to getting together with her.

"Um, they'll be flying out in a couple of weeks. I think Alice was planning on checking into some fashion schools while she's here, so I'm sure she'd love to see you."

Kate clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her chair, her hair bobbing with each jolt. "I'm so happy, I've missed her. I felt so bad that I couldn't attend the wedding, though I'm sure it was beautiful."

"Yeah, it was," Emmett said, nodding as he glanced at each of us around the table. I was glad that he was finally adding something to the conversation, but it didn't last long since just then, the wait staff entered the room with the first course of the meal. Looking down at the small salad that sat so precisely arranged on the plate, I knew we were in for a long night.

Aro carried most of the conversation throughout the evening, dropping hints right and left about how nice it would be for Kate to spend some time with me. It only took him about half an hour and two showings of ultrasound pictures before he finally realized that Emmett was, indeed, married. Once that occurred, his efforts to get me to commit to a date tripled. Kate was clearly upset about her father's behavior, and for a moment I wondered what was so wrong with me that she wouldn't want to spend time together. I was glad that she seemed indifferent about me, but it just made me curious. That, combined with the fact that Bella still refused to see or speak to me, was seriously crushing my ego and making me wonder if I was doing something wrong.

After the last course, which consisted of crème brulee and espresso, Mrs. Jones excused herself for the night and left the room. She swayed a bit, but held tightly to the glass in her hand that had been repeatedly refilled with brandy all evening. There was a loud crash in the kitchen a few moments later and Aro quickly got up, apologizing as he rushed out of the room. Emmett took the opportunity to step outside and call Rosalie, which left Kate and I alone in the dining room.

"I'm sorry about my dad, Edward. He seems to think it's his duty in life to find me a mate or something."

I laughed a little. "That's okay; I think a lot of dads do that. It's fine."

"He just thinks he can control my life, you know? He doesn't get it. He won't even let me move out of the house until I'm married. Can you believe that?" As I looked closer at Kate, I saw sadness in her face. She was looking down at the table and picking at the placemat that sat in front of her. "I just wish he would let me live my own life. I'm tired of being his perfect little daughter. I keep doing all these things to try and show my independence, but he just doesn't get it." She gestured to her hair, her purple fingernail polish, and the multiple piercings in her ears as she spoke.

"Yeah, I get what you mean. For years, whenever my parents talked about me it was in regards to my football playing, my good grades, or my perfect girlfriend. They only saw the good stuff, and it bothered me for a long time." I cringed as I thought about Bella, and how my parents had always loved her. They didn't agree with us being so exclusive at such a young age, but they understood how we felt about each other.

"My dad is just so out of it." She looked up at me, sincerity in her eyes. "You don't have to date me, Edward. Please don't let my dad talk you into that. You're great and all, but I'm kind of with someone else. I just haven't told my dad yet and he's gonna go ballistic when he finds out." She got very quiet and she looked lost for a moment.

"Kate, is everything alright?" I asked. "You can tell me. I won't say anything, I promise."

Her wide eyes looked up at me, and my heart dropped when I saw the tears that filled them. "Really? Can I really to talk to you, Edward? And you promise not to tell?"

I nodded, "Of course. You're secret is safe with me."

She swallowed as her tongue slipped out of her mouth to wet her lips. With a shaking whisper she spoke. "I'm pregnant." The way her shoulders fell told me that this wasn't exactly a good thing, or something she had been hoping for.

"Yeah? Who's the guy?" I asked, feeling bad for her and the predicament she was in. As always, my thoughts turned to Bella and how she was even younger than Kate when she became pregnant. Had she felt as scared as Kate seemed to be?

"The pool boy, Felix. I didn't mean for it happen, but you should see him. He's kind of hard to resist, and he's so sweet, always whispering things to me in Spanish." She let out a long sigh. "My dad's gonna flip when I tell him."

Wow, this was not what I had been expecting, but I could see how upset she was and I wanted to be a source of comfort for her. "Have you told Felix?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he knows. He wants to get married, but I told him my dad will disown me if I do." She looked up at me, frustration evident in her features. "He's a pool boy, Edward. How is he going to support us on that kind of salary? I mean, I have things that I'm accustomed to. I need manicures and facials and a nice car. I have wardrobe requirements, and it's not like I can shop at discount outlets or something. It will just never work."

"Kate, why—if he wasn't what you really wanted—would you even want to be with him?" I asked, curious as to why she would settle for something that wasn't what she thought she deserved.

"I told you, Edward, he's nice to me. It was fun."

Her reasoning stunned me, and after seeing her vapid, selfish nature, I no longer felt bad for her. Instead, I thought back to Bella and was curious as to whether or not she ever had any of these feelings. I didn't think so; she was so unselfish and giving. I wondered if she'd ever even had a manicure in her life. Maybe that was something I could do for her—a way that I could show what she meant to me. If I did something nice and tried to give her things that she'd never had—things I was certain that Jacob couldn't provide—maybe she would eventually come around. If I could just prove to her that I did care about her, then maybe she would give me another chance. As for Kate, I didn't know quite what to say, so I just started talking.

"I have a son. His name is E.C., and he's three years old."

Kate looked at me, shocked by what I'd just said. "What? Why didn't I ever hear about that?"

I smiled, "Well, I didn't even know until recently. His mother, Bella, my high school girlfriend, well she left when she found out she was pregnant. She knew it would cost me my scholarship and my education, as well as my football career, and she didn't want to take my future away from me. Her mother lives here in Miami, so she came here to live. It wasn't until I saw an invitation for Alice's wedding with Bella's name and address that I knew where she was."

"That's why you moved here? To be close to them?"

"Yes, partly. I could have stayed in Washington for medical school, but when I found out that they were here, I couldn't accept the school's offer fast enough. I had to be here with them. He's my son and he needs a father. Just like your baby will need a father." I pulled my wallet from my pocket, taking out the picture of E.C. that was tucked safely inside. "This is him," I said as I held it across the table for Kate to take.

"Oh my goodness, he's beautiful. He looks like you, but his eyes are so dark."

"Yeah, Bella's got brown eyes like that. He's incredible and I can't spend enough time with him. I just want to be near him twenty four hours a day, you know?"

She nodded as she looked at the picture, finally handing it back to me. "So you're with Bella now? Are you going to marry her?"

"No, we're not together. Yet, that is. I'm trying, but she's hesitant for some reason. She doesn't trust me and I can't say I blame her for that." I let out a small laugh, thinking about what Jacob had said to me and how I wasn't sure that I really trusted _her_ at the moment. Regardless, I loved her and needed to make things work between us. "All I know is that I love our son and he deserves to have both me and her in his life. The same goes for you and your baby. Don't deny your child a father just because you think things won't work out. You don't know until you try. You're dad might disown you, and Felix might not be able to support you, but you have to try."

My thoughts drifted back to Bella and I wondered, yet again, how different our lives would have been had she stayed and told me she was pregnant. I would never know the outcome of that, but what I did know was that I loved her, and I could never stop trying to make things right. I needed her and she needed me, and I knew I had to give her a chance to explain herself to me, just like I needed the chance to explain myself to her. I could make this work, if I just tried.

"Thanks Edward. You always were the big brother I never had, but desperately wanted. I used to be so jealous of Alice for that. I mean, Emmett was fun and all, but you… you're just different, more protective or something. Thank you for this, you gave me a lot to think about." Just as she finished speaking, Emmett and Aro walked back into the room.

"Thank you again for coming to dinner, boys," Aro said. He turned to Emmett, offering his hand. "I hope things go well with your family, son." Emmett shook his hand and thanked him. I stood from the table and walked toward them, followed by Kate who did the same.

"Thanks Edward, it was really good to see you again," she said, as she reached over to hug me.

"Sure thing, anytime." I gave her a smile and then offered my hand to Aro. "Thanks for asking us over. We had a nice time." After saying good night, and fending off yet another invitation from Aro for me to join Kate on his yacht, Emmett and I were on our way home.

When we got back to the house, it was a little after eight and after the conversation Kate and I had just had, I was missing E.C. I grabbed the cookies I'd bought for him earlier in the day and told Emmett I'd be back a little later. He was anxious to get Rosalie back on the phone anyhow, and had some packing to do, since he'd changed his flight to the next morning. He was originally going to leave on Sunday, but Rose had been having some pains that were new, and Emmett was worried that he would miss the birth if he stayed any longer.

I hurried over to Bella's house and was happy when there were still lights on in the windows, and Bella's car was parked out front. Now, if she was just still awake, I might be able to actually see her. Phil answered the door and let me in, informing me that E.C. was in the tub and Bella was helping him with his bath. I stood in the hallway listening as they laughed and played together, water splashing on the walls of the shower.

"Where'd my boat go, Momma? It not here," E.C. said.

"Hmmm, well maybe if you check underneath those bubbles, you'll find it." Bella's voice was beautiful and it made me ache. It had been so long since I'd seen her up close, and I sucked in a deep breath before stepping forward and entering the doorway. I leaned against the door jam and waited for them to spot me.

"I finded it! Looka my bubbleboat, Momma." Bella laughed and reached up to brush some of the bubbles from the top of the boat. She was sitting on the floor next to the tub while E.C. sat nestled in piles of bubbles inside the bathtub.

"Moooom!" E.C. yelled as Bella wiped the bubbles onto his nose. E.C. squealed and laughed, swiping at the little white foam, but only managing to put more there instead. Bella laughed and I couldn't stop myself from joining in. She looked over at the door and seemed to freeze as she looked at me, the smile falling from her face. She didn't look upset, just surprised.

"Hey," I said, smiling back at both of them.

"Daddy!" E.C. called out to me, grabbing on to the side of the tub in an effort to stand up. Bella caught him as he swung a bubble covered leg over the edge, and pushed him back into the tub.

"Sit down, baby. You'll slip."

"Yeah," I said, reaffirming what Bella said. "Sit back down; I'll wait 'til you're done. I can't leave without giving you the treat I brought you." I lifted the bag of cookies and shook it a little. His eyes lit up even more and he started to smack his hands on the water, sending splashes all over Bella.

"Oh! E.C. stop!" Bella pulled away from the bath, wiping at her shirt, which was now spotted with water droplets. Part of me wished that the shirt was white, just so that maybe I could see a little more of her, but I knew that wasn't what I should be focusing on. She was finally here in front of me, and I didn't want to let the moment pass by. I was going to make the most of it.

"What you bring'd me, Daddy? You getted me a present?"

"Well, kind of. I brought you some cookies. Do you like cookies? They have sprinkles on them."

"Mmmmm, I liked spinko cookies, huh Momma?" E.C. said, his little tongue licking his lips. "Can I has one, pweese?"

Bella shook her head as she looked at the bag, undoubtedly recognizing where it was from. She giggled a bit and looked up at me. "I knew you couldn't stay away."

The lightness in her words made me feel a little better, and I smiled back at her. "Yeah, well, if there's a chance at seeing you, I'm pretty much gonna take it. Plus, I was on campus and really needed some coffee."

She stood from the floor, reaching into the tub and flipping the knob to drain the water. She picked up E.C.'s towel, then reached over to turn to water on. "You wanna put those cookies down and help me here?" she asked, her eyes flashing to mine.

She wanted my help? With what? When I'd watched her bathe E.C. at her dad's house, she did everything, but knowing that I needed to learn this, I quickly placed the bag on the counter near the sink and stepped over to the tub.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Check that water and make sure it's not too hot or cold, and then pick up that cup and fill it with water. We have to wash all the bubbles off of him before we dry him." She looked over to E.C., helping him to stand. "He'll be a bubbly mess monster if we don't."

E.C.'s clawed hands rose up in front of his face and he scrunched his nose up. "Rawr!" he said, growling at Bella and me. She laughed at his efforts, and I did my best to look afraid.

"So why did you turn the water on?" I asked, curious about why Bella had turned on the faucet, putting more water into the tub that she was presently trying to drain.

"Well, we need clean water. I mean, you can't really wash the bubbles off of him with bubbly water, right?" Bella said, as if I should have instinctively known.

"Oh, right," I said, filling the cup with clean water so that I could pour it on E.C., watching as the bubbles fell to the floor of the tub. Finally, once all the bubbles were gone, Bella wrapped the soft, yellow towel around our son and pulled him from the tub. She rubbed and patted him down until he was dry, then looked back at me.

"Can you get those clothes behind you?"

I turned around and picked up the little folded pile of pajamas and underwear and held it out to her. She smiled. "You're turn, Daddy." She turned E.C. around and pushed him toward me. Nervously, I helped him slide on his Spongebob Squarepants decorated underwear and then pulled his pajama top and bottoms on. When he was all dressed, he jumped up at me, wrapping his arms tight around my neck.

"I loves you, Daddy."

My heart melted, and I pulled him snug against me. My nose went straight into the little indention between his neck and shoulder, and I breathed in deeply, smelling the delightful scent of bubble bath and baby wash, combined with the smell of my son. I could have stayed there forever, but when I opened my eyes, Bella sat by watching with a small smile on her lips. E.C. let go of me and turned to Bella. "Me have a cookie, Momma?"

She nodded and I handed the bag to her. After reaching inside, she pulled out a cookie. "You can have one tonight, and we'll save the rest for tomorrow, okay?"

"K!" E.C. yelled, grabbing his cookie and rushing out of the room, yelling for Renee.

Bella stood and started straightening the bathroom, her eyes not meeting mine. After waiting a few minutes for her to say something, it became clear that she wasn't going to.

"I hope it's okay that I brought those cookies for him. I just thought he might like them." I shifted nervously from foot to foot as I watched her, waiting for her reaction.

She let out a small sigh. "It's fine, Edward. He loves pretty much anything that's sweet, so you did well."

"I was hoping to see you today, but your friend Jacob said you were at another store or something." I kept a close eye on her, hoping to catch any reaction she might have to hearing his name. There was nothing.

"Yeah, we have another store a few miles away. They're kind of understaffed right now and they need someone to run shifts every once in a while. They're hiring someone soon, so I won't be going over there much more." She hung up the towel and got E.C.'s bath wash bottles aligned on the side of the tub.

"Oh really? Jacob said that you'd be working there a lot this fall, and that I probably shouldn't bother coming by the café too often. I don't think he likes me much."

She stood up and turned to face me. "Jake's a good friend, he's just worried about me and E.C. That's all that was, I'm sure. I mean, whatever he said, I'm sure it was just him being concerned." She moved to lean against the counter along side of me, and when she placed her hands at her sides, resting them on the edge of the counter top, her pinky finger brushed mine.

"Yeah, he seemed pretty protective," I said, not wanting to get into the specifics of our discussion.

"Jake is a friend. I don't know what he said, Edward, but he's just a friend. I know that he would like for it to be more, but I just don't feel that way about him. I don't know, we spend a lot of time together, but I know there's something lacking. It's not like you and I used to be." She got quiet, and I noticed her breathing pick up a bit. I decided that tonight was not the time to pressure her, therefore, I decided to drop it for now.

Pulling away from the counter and turning to face her, I leaned in closer to her. "We were kinda great, weren't we?" I asked, a smirk on my face as I raised my hand to push a piece of her hair behind her ear. Her breaths turned almost into shallow pants, and I screamed inside at the effect I was having on her.

"Yeah, it was good," she said in a whisper, her eyes staring into mine. Her words and actions told me that most likely, she was being honest about the Jake thing. I wanted desperately to believe her, so I did. Until I had something concrete, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. As I decided it was time to go, I leaned in even closer to her.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Tomorrow? Why?"

"Bella, we have a son together. You can't hide from me, you know? And please, can you do me a favor?" I waited for her to nod a little, agreeing to what I was asking. "Please don't run away from me anymore. We can be friends, if nothing else. This time we'll get things right, whatever right might be. You can't escape me, Bella. Quit trying, okay?" Her eyes were locked on mine, and I very slowly and deliberately leaned in and softly kissed her on the tip of her nose, then pulled up and place another kiss on her forehead. She didn't breathe once while I was so close to her. I pulled away and smiled at her.

"I'm gonna to go say goodnight to E.C., and I'll see you both tomorrow after I get Emmett to the airport."

I started to walk toward the door. "Oh, and enjoy the cookies. I got one for you, too."

With that, I turned and walked out the door, thinking about the cookie in the bottom of the bag that had heart sprinkles on it and pink frosting.

I grabbed E.C. as he hurried toward me, giving him a kiss and squeeze and promising to take him to the beach again the next day. As I left Bella's house, my heart and spirit felt a thousand times lighter, and I actually had hope for our relationship. I would always want her, no matter what, and I knew that if I gave her enough time, she'd come around.

All I had to worry about was Jacob, and I'd have to keep a closer eye on that development. Whether or not she was dating him, I was choosing to believe her, but Jake was set in his decision — he wanted Bella. Luckily, I was smart enough to know that if I didn't watch things closely, Jacob could turn into quite a problem for me.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Not too angsty, but don't worry…it's coming. :D**

**How about some rec's?**

_**Pistols and Petticoats**_** by saltire884 – I really, REALLY like this story. It's set in the 1800's and features Comancheward and a very broken Bella. The official summary says - **_**In a drunken gamble by her father, Bella finds her future wagered to town loner, Edward Cullen. But with stakes this high, how much will Bella lose, or will chance be on her side? **_**The story is incredible and really beautiful, as well as being angsty and down right frightening. I can't wait to see what will happen since it seems half the town wants Edward dead so that Mike can steal Bella away. It's so good…**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6294495/1/Pistols_and_Petticoats**

_**All the Wild Horses**_** by elusivetwilight – I really, really, REALLY like this story. :D What is it with me and Bearded Edward's this week? Both these stories feature a smokin' hot, scruffy Edward, and I love it. The official summary says - **_**In her suffocating small hometown, Bella Swan meets widowed Edward Cullen. Can she pull him from the depths of his grief? Is there enough of him left to soothe her clawing loneliness? **_**This story is just getting started, only 3 chapters in, and it updates every Friday, so go read and get sucked into the story. It's so good… I can't wait to see if Edward will be able to warm up to Bella in the frozen world where they live. And Jacob… Really? Uhhhhhh.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6435667/1/All_the_Wild_Horses**

**And something complete –**

_**Green**_** by Bratty-Vamp – I not only really love this story, but I really love the author. This story won me over with an Edward that is sweet and strong, a Bella that is brave and loving, an Alice that is honest and funny, and a Carlisle that is simply amazing. Things are turned and twisted in this story, not canon like so many other stories, and the change is refreshing and welcome. The official summary says - **_**What happens when lawn-boy, geek, and self-proclaimed social leper finds himself in a situation that shakes his comfortable invisibility? Will he stay green? **_**I love this story and I can't say enough good things about it, or the author. Trust me…you'll love this. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6108912/1/Green**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.**

**I wrote a sweet & sexy little dance floor o/s for the ****Fandom for Preemies**** charity event. There's a link in my profile. Basically, donate as little as $5.00 to the March of Dimes during the month of November, send in your receipt, and get a PDF of over 100 different stories. The website has a list of all the authors that contributed, and also has teasers from a lot of the stories. I already got mine, and seriously? There are some INCREDIBLE stories in it. I'm honored that they let me help out. :D**

**And on a side note…I wrote a very smutty, super wrong o/s for a contest that flopped. I posted it under another name 'cause I don't think anyone would believe I wrote it. If you want the link, let me know. :D**

**Thanks for reading this. Like I said…find the clues to my favorite show and tell me what they are. You might get the next chapter early… :) And heck, even just reviewing will do it for two people. :D**


	21. Chapter 21 Cold As You

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a dog that isn't nearly as cute as the puppy E.C. wants. I refer to my dog as a rat, but maybe she's more like a weasel. Either way, she annoys me to no end.**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore.**_** I love her and she knows it. She makes me giggle with her ideas about what should and should not be used to make cakes. **

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. I could not love them more, and I'm sure I could be classified as somewhat dependant upon them at this point. :D**

**So, the review thing went well last chapter. :D Only two of the three clues were found. They were –**

**Kate Jones – found by RosyCheeks17  
Zhang Lee – found by appleburple**

**The one not found was visual, and it was Kate's red hair. My favorite tv show ALIAS featured Sydney Bristow sporting a bright red, bobbed hair style in the pilot episode. Google ALIAS and you'll see it. :)**

**The random winners were –**

**991 - mountainlion718  
1000 - amandaolsson  
1013 – lovingit3**

**These girls got this chapter a day early, except for amandaolsson. Send me your email and I'll give you the next chapter early. :)**

**I have another offer for you with this chapter. More info on that at the end. Yes, longest A/N's ever…I know. I'm wordy, it can't be helped. :D **

**Enjoy!**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 21 – Cold As You

_You have a way of coming easily to me  
__And when you take, you take the very best of me  
__So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something  
__And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted_

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
__Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say  
__And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
__I've never been anywhere cold as you_

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
__And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
__And you come away with a great little story  
__Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_

"Cold As You" by Taylor Swift

The rest of the weekend went by quickly and I was actually a little sad as I left Emmett at the airport, knowing that the next time I saw him, he'd be a father. I knew how excited he was about that, as well as about getting back to Rosalie, and after watching him with E.C., I no longer feared for the safety of his unborn child. Not that Rose would ever leave the baby's side long enough for Emmett to make a mistake. I think Emmett felt a little more at ease, too, now that he had some experience under his belt. It had been a great week so far, and with the beginning of classes quickly approaching, as well as Bella actually speaking to me, I was on a high.

E.C. and I spent Saturday afternoon at the beach, playing in the water and finding sea shells. I loved how comfortable he was in that environment, but watching him swim through the water made me a little resentful. I didn't know how or when he'd learned to swim, and I was beginning to notice other things I hadn't been around for. The fact that he could already tie his shoes, or that he knew how many squirts of soap to use when he washed his hands, wasn't lost on me. I wanted to teach and show him things, and I was quickly beginning to understand all of the little opportunities I'd missed out on in the last almost four years.

Sunday morning I got up early and drove to the closest doughnut shop. I was hungry, plus I'd offered to get E.C. some doughnuts with sprinkles for breakfast. Bella was going to drop him off at my house on her way to work, and I was excited for the opportunity to spend the day with him. I wanted everything to be perfect.

When I returned home I noticed a few neighbors out in their front yards. A couple of women were working in their flower beds, a few men were raking leaves or cutting the grass, and the woman that lived directly across from me was outside with a little girl, playing with what I assumed was their dog. The dog was small and had a fuzzy mop of hair covering it. Suddenly, I remembered offering to buy E.C. a puppy once I got settled into my house. I knew, with the smaller backyard that I had, the dog couldn't be too big, and I thought this might be a good opportunity to not only meet my new neighbor, but also to see how she felt about the size of her dog. I put the doughnuts in the kitchen and then went back out front, walking across the street and over to her house.

"Hi," I said, smiling and hoping that I wasn't being too forward.

"Hello. You must be the new neighbor," she said, walking toward me with her hand stretched out. "I'm Missy, it's nice to meet you."

"Hey Missy, I'm Edward. I hope we didn't cause too much commotion moving stuff in last week." She seemed nice, and the little girl with her looked to be a couple of years older than E.C. Missy was older than me, probably in her early 30's, and her smile was very friendly and welcoming.

"Oh no, you're fine. I was a little worried to see two young college guys moving in. I hope there won't be a lot of parties going on at all hours of the night, or at least if there are, that you'll invite me." Her tone was teasing, and she laughed as she said it.

I looked closer at her, trying to make sure that she was, indeed, joking, and not just some bored housewife who was looking for a little fun with younger college guys. She didn't look the type, with her light brown hair pulled back into a loose bun, her black, thin framed glasses perched on her face, and her button down, checkered short sleeve shirt and denim shorts. She looked like a mom, and there was no flirty air about her. I was happy to have someone, for once, that I could just talk to.

"Um, no," I joked back. "That was my brother, but he was only here helping me move. He left to go back home to his wife yesterday, so now it's just me. I'm in medical school, so the only parties going on here will be study parties, which usually don't prove to be all that much fun." I laughed, remembering the 'study parties' that I used to have, but also knowing that nothing like that would be happening again.

"Well that's nice," she said. "Lory, get out of their yard, honey," she yelled to the little girl that was chasing the dog across the next lawn. "Sorry, my daughter doesn't seem to get the whole boundaries thing. Plus, I'm not good with cleaning piles out of the neighbor's yard, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I can understand that," I said. "I mainly came over to introduce myself, but I wanted to ask about your dog, too. I have a three year old son and I promised to get him a dog once I got all settled in. I thought I'd pick your brain for a minute on that. Do you think the size dog you've got is okay for this place?" I asked.

"Oh, where's your son?" she said, looking around.

"He lives with his mother. It's complicated, but hopefully he'll be spending a lot of time here, and maybe, eventually, they'll move into the house with me. That's my plan, anyway."

"That's nice," she said, smiling at me. "Lory's dad is in the military. He's deployed to Iraq right now, but he's scheduled to be back in a few months. It's hard being a single parent."

I thought about what she was saying, and my thoughts drifted back to Bella, as they usually did. She hadn't done things completely on her own, since Renee and Phil were with her, but she had been a single mother to our son for four years. A little twang of anger over that flashed through me. It had been her choice to take on that role, not mine. If she'd stayed and told me she was pregnant, I could have gone through it all with her, and I could have been a part of E.C.'s life.

I quickly shook my head, trying to rid myself of those thoughts because I didn't want to resent her for anything. I was trying very hard to be understanding of her position and be grateful to her for what she'd done. I just wished things had been different.

"...and I think that makes a lot of difference," Missy said.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. "My thoughts have been all over the place lately, I apologize."

"Oh no, honey, you're okay. I was just saying that we try to take Pepper out for walks as much as we can, because she used to go stir crazy in the house, and I think the walks make a lot of difference."

"That's understandable."

"Your house is a bit bigger than mine, so maybe that will help, but I think the backyards are about the same size." She was quiet as we watched her daughter throw a stick, and the dog chased after it. "So do you have any idea about what kind of dog you'd like to get?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I want something small, both for my house and yard, as well as for my son."

"Well, Pepper had puppies about six weeks ago. I'll be selling them in a couple of weeks, if you're interested in a puppy. She has one male and two females." I liked that idea, and asked if I could bring E.C. over later that afternoon to look at them. She told me they'd be home all day, and as I said goodbye and started back across the street, I saw Bella's car turn the corner and head toward my house. Standing in the driveway, I waited for them to stop, smiling as brightly as I could.

"Hey, you found it. Did you have any trouble with the gate code?" I asked, as Bella stepped out of the car.

"No, it was fine," she said, pausing to look at the houses around us, before her eyes finally landed on my house behind me. "Wow, Edward, this is really nice." I could sense something in her voice, and I was worried that maybe she was uncomfortable with the neighborhood or something.

"Yeah, my dad's friend picked it out. It's a little on the fancy side, but its okay. I mean, the whole gated community thing is good because that means it's safe, but the house itself wasn't too expensive. Not nearly as much as you would imagine. Aro, my dad's friend, is kind of a real estate genius or something." I moved toward the car's back door to get E.C. out, and once his feet hit the sidewalk, he was running for the front door.

"Momma, come on! You see my room, Momma," he called back, his little legs scurrying across the grass.

I looked to Bella. "Yeah, come on, Momma, let's go see his room," I said with a smirk, teasing Bella and feeling relieved as she let out a little snort and laugh. She locked up the car and we quickly followed our son into the house.

After giving her the tour, and E.C. showing her where his new play-set was going to be installed in the backyard, Bella said that she needed to go. On her way over to my house, her manager had called and asked her to come in an hour early for work. She insisted that she felt bad about not being able to stay with E.C. and I longer, but I sensed a bit of relief on her part. I knew she wasn't completely comfortable with me, so it didn't surprise me when she hurried off to work.

Once I was on my own with my son, I began to feel overwhelmed. E.C. laughed and played with the few toys that were in his bedroom, but thoughts began to flash through my head of what else he might need. If he were going to be spending nights and weekends with me, like I hoped he would, I was going to have to get a lot more things for him. I went into the living room and turned the television onto a cartoon channel, then yelled for him to come and eat some doughnuts with me.

Sitting on the sofa with E.C., as he filled his mouth with 'spinko'd' doughnuts, we laughed at the odd little sponge and starfish on the television, and it made me happy. I ran my fingers through his hair, my heart melting a little more each time he looked up at me and pointed out something else in the show. I loved this little boy more than I ever thought possible, and I couldn't wait to tell him about the puppies across the street. I only hoped he'd have as much fun playing with them as I knew I'd have watching him.

Later in the afternoon, after E.C.'s sugar high had worn off, I thought I'd feed him a proper lunch. He insisted on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which had to have the crust cut off, and be sliced into four small triangles. He searched through my fridge and grabbed a bag of mini carrots, which Emmett had bought a few days before, and told me that he liked them and wanted a few with his sandwich. Then he sat at the dining table, munching away, and I decided that it was the perfect time to bring up the puppies from across the street.

"So, guess what I saw today?" I asked him, trying to inject excitement into my tone.

"What?"

"I saw a dog today, and you know what she has?" I waited until he looked up to my face, his eyes shining with curiosity. "She has some puppies. Would you like to go see some puppies today?"

He started to bounce in his seat, his small hands hitting the table top. "You see'd a puppy, Daddy? I wanna see. It's a big doggie, or is a tiny one?"

"Well, I saw the momma dog, but she was kinda small. I think the puppies will be pretty tiny."

"Is a tiny puppy gonna lick my face, Daddy?" he asked, a smile spreading across his lips.

"I'll bet it tries. You probably taste so good; it won't be able to stop!" I reached over and ruffled his hair with my hand as he giggled and squirmed in his chair. "Okay, you need to finish your lunch and then we can go see them. They live right across the street, so hurry up."

Apparently it was a bad idea to tell E.C. to hurry, because as I sat watching, he picked up the two sandwich triangles that were left on his plate, and shoved them into his mouth, filling it to beyond capacity. Watching him try to chew the bread was funny, until he started to choke.

I sat frozen for a few seconds until I realized what was happening, and then I jumped up and grabbed him, thankful for the first aid classes I had taken in college. I poked my finger into his mouth, knowing as I did it, that it wasn't the right thing to do. All that kept running through my head was to get the bread out of his mouth. I scooped it out, dropping it on the table, and he started to cough. Once I knew he was alright, I picked up his juice box and handed it to him so that he could take a drink.

"You scared me, buddy. Don't eat that fast again." My heart was racing as I held him in my arms. I lovingly pressed my lips to the top of his head and breathed deeply as I placed a kiss there, taking in the fruity scent of his shampoo. He was still for a moment as he took a few drinks of his juice, then he turned his head, trying to look up at me.

"Can we go sees the puppies now, Daddy?" he asked, his dark brown eyes looking at me with an enthusiastic glow in them.

"Okay, let's clean up the lunch stuff and then we'll go."

He helped me throw a few things into the trash, and then put the dishes in the sink. Once the kitchen was presentable, he ran into the living room and plopped down onto the floor next to the door. His shoes were soon in his hands and he was pulling them onto his feet. He had little leather sandals, and I wondered for a moment if they would be alright outside, or if he might get dirt in them, but then I figured if Bella had let him wear them, then they must be alright.

I made sure E.C. held my hand as we walked across the street. There wasn't a lot of traffic since it was a pretty quiet neighborhood, but I wanted him be cautious. I didn't want to run the risk of something happening to him if he darted out into the road. He chattered excitedly as we neared the house, but as soon as I knocked on the door, he closed his mouth and was silent.

"Hey!" Missy said to us as she opened the door. Her eyes traveled down to E.C. and her face lit up. "Oh my goodness, look at you. I can definitely tell who your daddy is," she said to E.C., bending down a little so that she could look at him closer. She smiled at E.C., and I was delighted when he smiled back. She had such a content and natural look on her face as she watched my son, and I could tell that she was completely at ease with children. I was a little jealous at how easy it seemed to be for her, but I knew that I was doing the best I could. It would just take a little time until things with E.C. were effortless for me.

"You got a puppy?" he blurted out.

"Why, yes I do," she said, laughing at E.C.'s exuberance before stepping aside and inviting us in. "They're in the backyard, right through here."

We followed her through the living room and out the back door. In the grassy yard, there was the little brown and white dog I had seen earlier in the day, and following behind her were three of the cutest little puppies I'd ever seen. They had fur sprouting everywhere and they looked as though they could pass for stuffed animals. They were so small, no more than four or five inches tall, and the high pitched yaps they called out to their mother sounded cute and playful.

As I looked closer at them, I noticed their little black button noses and their bright, sparkling brown eyes. E.C. squealed in delight and bounced up and down. "Can I see one, Daddy?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the tiny pack of dogs jumping through the grass.

"Sure, just be careful, they're still kinda small," Missy said.

"Okay!" E.C. yelled as he let go of my hand and ran full force into the yard. Pepper scampered away from him, but the puppies seemed to be excited about having a new person to play with. Within minutes, E.C. was rolling on the ground with puppies climbing all over him. I laughed as he giggled when the puppies licked his face or nipped at his shirt. He was having fun, but I knew I was probably enjoying it even more.

"So what kind of dogs are they? They're so little," I asked Missy as we stood watching the activities going on in the yard.

"They're Yorkshire Terriers, and their fur will lighten up as they get older. The dad has more black in him than Pepper does, but she was rather dark as a puppy, too. You never know, though. They shouldn't get any taller than Pepper, since the dad is a little smaller than her."

"Oh, do you have a male that you breed with? I mean, are they pure bred?" I asked, hoping to find out more while E.C. and the puppies entertained themselves.

"Yeah, we've used the same male for each of her three litters. It's better to breed with a smaller male, especially for little dogs. It usually makes the birthing process easier, as well as safer." The back door slid open and Missy's daughter, Lory, walked out into the yard. She watched E.C. as he ran through the grass, the puppies chasing after him. Pepper leisurely sprawled out near the fence, away from the action, and Lory looked quizzically at Missy.

"Who's that?" she asked, glancing over to me after looking at her mother.

"This is Edward from this morning, you remember him. He's our new neighbor, can you say hello?" Lory nodded at me as I gave a quick wave back to her. "That's Edward's son. He's thinking about taking one of our puppies. Wouldn't that be nice? They'd live right across the street, so you could play with them sometimes."

Lory watched E.C. as he ran, bending down to grab a chew toy and then holding it out for one of the puppies to grab on to. He laughed and flopped onto the ground, letting the tiny dogs catch up to him.

"E.C.?" I called to him. "Come here and meet Lory." He jumped up and ran toward us, smiling brightly at me.

"Daddy, you see'd dat doggie? He bited me, Daddy." He was a little out of breath as he wrapped his arms around my legs. "Can I has dat one dat licked me, Daddy? I like dat one."

I laughed at how excited he was and told him that we'd have to see. I introduced him to Lory, who quickly talked him into seeing her play house, and with that, they were gone—the puppies following them to the side of the yard. Missy offered me some lemonade, and we sat at a table on the porch and watched the kids play. She told me about several of the neighbors and who I should watch out for.

Apparently, there was a 'cougar' that lived on the corner and liked to garden in her bikini, as well as Martin, the older man that lived next door to Missy, who had fifteen grandchildren that visited every Wednesday afternoon, and most interesting was an elderly widow a few houses down who enjoyed baking cakes with any leftovers she had in her fridge. Visions of pineapple upside down meatloaf cakes, chicken stir fry apple fritter cakes, and mashed potato spaghetti jello salad cakes assaulted my mind, and I made a mental note to not accept food from any neighbors. Missy was nice and I enjoyed her company, especially since she didn't try to hit on me, and didn't seem to want anything more from me than a pleasant conversation.

An hour later, I knew I needed to get E.C. ready to go home, so I asked Missy when the puppies would be available. She told me it would be a couple of weeks, but then we could have which ever one we wanted. E.C. had picked out the smaller of the two females, which Missy said had a really good temperament. E.C. and I were both excited about getting the puppy. We spent the rest of our time together that day discussing names for the little dog, as well as tricks that we could teach it to do. Missy had volunteered to help me puppy-proof my house, and I was hopeful that things with the dog would work out well.

I drove E.C. home and was a little sad that Bella wasn't there. Renee assured me that she was just working late in preparation for classes starting the next day. E.C. told Renee and Phil all about the puppies, and Renee seemed excited that E.C. would finally get the dog he'd been dreaming of, and that it didn't have to live at her house.

We talked a little about the week ahead and what our schedules would be. She told me that Bella had registered E.C. for a preschool on campus, so that he would be close to her while she was in class and at work. Renee gave me a paper with Bella's class schedule on it, so that I would know where she was during what parts of the day. I wrote mine down for Renee, and we decided that I would take E.C. on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, as well as every other weekend. After giving me the preschool information, and assuring me that Bella would put down my name as an authorized person to pick up E.C., I wished my son goodnight and then hugged him before heading home.

The next morning came quickly and I was anxious to get back into the swing of things at school. I knew that my classes would be a lot of work, and that I would spend a great deal of time on the labs for them, but I was looking forward to it. I was also excited for Tuesday because I would get to see E.C. again. My Monday classes were lectures, and I felt so insignificant walking into the large auditorium where the first class was held. After taking a seat, I looked around at the other students, enthralled by the many different kinds of people in the class. The professor seemed a bit dry and I hoped that the class wouldn't be too boring, especially since it was held so early on a Monday.

After stopping by the campus book store to pick up the required books for my two classes that morning, I thought I'd swing by the coffee shop and see if Bella was working. She wasn't there, but Jacob was, and I quickly hurried away before he had a chance to see me. I didn't need to get into a confrontation with him, or for him to tell Bella that I was snooping around.

Tuesday after I got out of my lab, I went to the preschool to pick up E.C. It was just after lunch time, and after signing a couple of forms and showing my identification, they allowed me to go to his classroom and get him. As soon as his eyes met mine, he was running across the room toward me, his arms thrown out to the sides and a huge smile on his face. I scooped him up and hugged him tightly to me. He had just started to tell me all about his day, when his teacher approached us.

"Hi, I'm Miss Stacy. You must be E.C.'s father." She held out her hand and I quickly shook it.

"Yeah, I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled a kind, yet somewhat flirty smile at me. "Well, E.C. is all ready to go, you just need to sign him out on this book here," she said as she led me to a waist high bookshelf that had a binder lying on top of it. "Each day when you bring him in or drop him off, you'll need to sign and date this, as well as enter the time."

"Oh, I don't think I'll be dropping him off, his mother will probably do that. I'll just be picking up." I smiled at her, hoping to save myself from having to hear the whole first day presentation I was sure she'd already given fifty times that day. E.C. was getting antsy and clearly ready to go, as he pulled on my pant leg and leaned toward the door.

"Oh, okay. I explained this all to your wife this morning, I just thought that you might need to know, too."

"His mother and I aren't married, she's not my wife," I quickly said, then paused to think about how much I wished that weren't the case. I dreamed of one day referring to Bella as my wife and hoped that it would happen sooner rather than later.

Miss Stacy smiled brightly at me. "That's good to know."

I smiled back, making sure not to spend any more time than necessary looking at her, since I could tell by her glances that she was checking me out. "Does he have stuff to take home? Like a lunch box or backpack or anything?" I asked, unsure about what E.C. had brought with him.

"Yeah, the lunch boxes are kept in the fridge, which is in the kitchen right through those doors, and then E.C. has a little cubby for his backpack, coat, and any art projects he's made. They're right over here."

She showed me where to get E.C.'s things, and soon we were off. "You wanna stop by the grocery store on the way?" I asked E.C. who was happily talking to himself in the back seat. "I need to pick up a few things."

As we perused the aisles at the store, I grabbed several frozen dinners and a few boxed meals, as well as cereal and other easy things to eat. E.C. was happy about the cereal that I'd let him pick out, and he couldn't wait to get back to my house so that he could open it and find the toy that was inside the box.

We spent the afternoon eating, watching TV, and playing at the park just down the street from my house. It was a lot of fun, and before I knew it, it was time to take E.C. home. As we pulled up to Bella's house, there was an unfamiliar car parked along the street. I parked behind it, turning the headlights off after seeing two people sitting in the unknown vehicle. I stepped out and went to the back door so that I could get E.C., and was surprised to see Bella step out of the other car. Her eyes met mine, and there was an odd expression on her face. I couldn't quite place it, but she looked worried about something.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, Bells!" called a deep voice from the car, and as I looked up, I was able to catch the reflection of Jacob's face in the side mirror. He had given her a ride home, and would be picking her up the next day. Something started to boil within me, and I fought hard to keep my composure as Bella approached. She quickly waved to the other car, but kept walking toward me.

"Hi," she said, pushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Hey," I calmly replied, hoping to hide the anger that was quickly growing in my chest.

"How did it go today?" Her voice was sweet and soft, not at all sounding like she was hiding something, but more like she was tired and worn out.

"It was fine." I was rather short in my response to her, but before she could question me further, E.C. was running toward her with his art paper from preschool. He very excitedly told her about his class and the new friends he'd made, and he tugged at her hand, pulling her toward the house.

"Hey, Bella," I called out to her. I watched as she held up a finger to me and then whispered something to E.C. He turned around and waved to me, yelling, "Bye, Daddy!" before running into the house.

"Sorry about that. So, how did it really go?" she asked. I handed E.C.'s backpack and lunch box over to her and then couldn't stop myself from blurting out what I most needed to know.

"Are you dating that guy?" Her mouth dropped open, and she was clearly at a loss for words. She blinked several times, and looked as though she wanted to say something, but then didn't actually say it. My fury was growing at a rapid rate, and I wanted to lash out at her. "It's a simple question. Either you are, or you aren't. What is it?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest as I squared my shoulders and waited for her to say something.

"Edward, it isn't like that with Jacob. I told you this before—we're just friends. That's it."

I cleared my throat. "Well, that's not what he said."

"You talked to him? When?" she asked, as her brow furrowed.

"Last week, when I got E.C. the cookies. Tell me the truth here, Bella. I need to know what I'm up against." I wanted to grab her and kiss her, make her understand just how much I wanted her, but part of me was still angry and jealous. She got into a car with this man and let him take her places, but she would barely even speak to me. I needed to know what was going on between them, and from the look on her face, it wasn't something she wanted to talk to me about.

"Edward, I'm being honest, we're just friends. He gave me a ride home because my mom borrowed my car today. Her's is in the shop, so she's using mine for work. It's no big deal, I promise." Her eyes began to flash with a hint of annoyance, but she stepped closer to me, reaching out and placing her soft and warm hand on my arm. Her big brown eyes were looking up into mine, and the urge to kiss her was growing at a rate that rivaled the anger from a few moments before.

"Okay, if you say so." I nodded, realizing that I needed to get away before I did something wrong. I wanted to hold her, to kiss her and tell her that I believed her, but I was sure that I'd somehow screw it all up if I did. I was trying to take things slowly and rebuilt her trust in me, so I stepped away from her. "E.C. had a good time at preschool, and he's probably hungry for dinner, but we had some cereal this afternoon."

Bella smiled a seemingly forced smile, rocking back on her heels. "Alright, that sounds good." She let out a small sigh. "So, I'll see you Thursday evening, then?" she asked, glancing up at me.

"Yep, I'll bring him home." I watched her for a moment as she fiddled with the shoulder strap on E.C.'s backpack. I didn't want to leave with her upset, so I quickly added something more. "You know, if you ever need a ride, you can always ask me. I'd be happy to take you anywhere you need to go, and I already have the booster seat for E.C.," I said, gesturing toward the backseat of the car.

"Edward, it's totally out of your way to have to come here and pick us up," Bella said. "I'd feel horrible having to make you drive all that extra way." Her teeth pushed down into her lower lip, and she shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

"I don't mind, Bella. Just know that it's an option any time, okay?" With that, I smiled and said good night, waiting until she was safely inside the house, and then hurrying away before I could chase after her. Even after her reassuring words, I still had an uneasy feeling about what was really going on between her and Jacob, and I was determined to find out the truth, one way or another.

The rest of the week flew by and after spending another amazing afternoon with E.C. on Thursday, I really felt like I was starting to get the hang of the whole fatherhood thing. I was anxious for my first weekend with him, and I wondered what kinds of things we could do together when we had two whole days to ourselves.

Friday afternoon I had a meeting on campus with one of my professors. He wanted to meet with each of his students individually and go over requirements for the class, so I hesitantly scheduled an appointment for a day that I knew I wouldn't have E.C. I had no idea how long the professor would be, and I didn't want to run the risk of being late to pick up my son.

Once the meeting was over, I decided to go and see if Bella was working. I knew she had a class early on Friday mornings, but I didn't know if she was scheduled to work afterward or not. Approaching the coffee shop, I saw Jacob standing outside the building in the little patio dining area. He was leaning with his left shoulder against the wall, and I could see the legs and feet of someone next to him. For a moment I was glad that he was outside because that meant if Bella was working inside, then I could probably get to her without having to talk to Jacob. I knew Bella wouldn't appreciate us fighting in public over her, and if the last conversation I'd had with Jacob was any indicator, that's exactly where our relationship was heading.

As I got nearer to the shop, I saw Jacob's stance shift, and when he did, I caught a quick glimpse of the person standing next to him. It was Bella. My step faltered as I saw her laughing at him, placing her hand on his arm or shoulder. She remained hidden from my view, for the most part, because her small body was behind his larger one. Her laugh floated through the air, and I gritted my teeth as I continued on through the coffee shop door.

I entered and was greeted by a familiar face—Steph, the barista I had met the last time I stopped by.

"Hi!" she said, a little enthusiastically. "What can I get you today?"

I put on my best smile and walked up to the counter. "Hi, last time I was here I had coffee, so I wondered if you have anything else to drink? I'm kind of in the mood for something fruity, maybe?"

She began to fidget a bit, her hands tapping on the counter top, while looking straight at me. "Um, yeah, we have some smoothies, if you like that kinda thing." She lifted one hand and started to play with the necklace that hung around her neck. It was a heart shaped pendant with a little red stone off to one side.

"Yeah, I think that sounds good. What flavors you got?" I relaxed a little, leaning over and placing my forearms on the counter. I heard her breath hitch and I chided myself for flirting with the girl, but I was upset and this was the only thing keeping me from confronting Bella and Jacob outside. My heart was beating faster and my breath was picking up from thoughts of my Bella with another guy. I knew I needed the distraction that Steph was offering, but I did feel a little wrong for leading her on.

"We have strawberry, and-"

"Strawberry's fine. I like strawberry."

"Okay," she said with a giggle, then turned to make my smoothie. I watched her closely, the whole while thinking about Bella standing by Jacob. What could he have said to make her laugh that way? Why would she touch him like she had? Was her mom's car really broken down, or did Bella just use it an excuse for riding home with Jacob? So many questions were running through my head, and I was getting more and more upset over the answers that my mind was forming. I wanted to believe her and trust her, but there was so much doubt there, and I just couldn't get past it.

Steph came back to the counter with the cup and passed it to me. "It's on the house. I'm Steph, by the way."

I saw the way she was looking at me, and guilt started to gnaw at me. She seemed like such a nice girl, and I didn't want to do this to her. "No, you have to let me pay for it, I wouldn't feel right otherwise."

"Oh, well, it's okay. You can just take it." The happiness that I'd seen in her face a few minutes before seemed to vanish, and her gaze dropped down to the register, which she started picking at with her fingernail.

"Thank you, Steph. That's really nice of you. I'm Edward. Um, can I ask you a question?" I said, then cautiously proceeded as she looked back to me and nodded happily. "Do you know much about Bella, the girl that works here with you?"

"Bella?" she asked, seeming surprised by my words.

"Yeah."

"Well, she's nice. Why? What do you want to know?" I could tell she was curious about my inquisition, so I tried to word things politely.

"Well, do you know her son?" She nodded, then her eyes grew wider. "I'm his dad. I was just wondering about Bella and Jacob. Do you know if they're dating or something?"

"Oh, no," she laughed. "Nothing like that, though you'd think so by the way he talks about her. I mean, she's like his dream girl or something, and he's got all these plans for their future and stuff. Plus, he spends so much time with her and E.C., it's kind of pathetic. But then again, she does talk to him a lot, so maybe they just don't want it to get out, or something. We're not really supposed to date co-workers, so..."

"Hmm, okay thanks. You sure you don't want me to pay for this?" I said, picking up my drink and standing back up.

"No, it's okay. Hey, you want a cookie or something? I just made the sugar cookies, and they have M&M's on them, see?" She pointed to the display case, and I couldn't stop myself.

"I do like candy, so I suppose one won't hurt," I said, smiley sheepishly. Ever since I was a child, I'd had a weakness for candy, and seeing the little colorful orbs peeking out of the cookies caused me to salivate. They looked delicious, and actually distracted me for a few moments. She giggled at my words and picked up a couple of cookies, putting them in a bag for me.

"Your necklace is pretty, is that from your boyfriend?" I asked, making small talk with her and hoping to show that I wasn't just some information seeking creep who was stalking her fellow employee.

"Oh, yeah, but we broke up a few months ago. Now I can date whoever I want." Her smile was bright again, and as she handed the bag to me, I could tell she was hoping I'd ask her out, but I didn't.

"Well, that's good to know. Thanks for this, I'll see ya," I said with a wink before turning around toward the door. Bella and Jacob stood frozen in the doorway. Bella's mouth hung open, and she was clearly not happy about the scene she'd just walked in on. Jacob, on the other hand, was grinning like a fool and clearly overjoyed that it looked, and most likely sounded, like I was hitting on Steph.

My anger from earlier started to flare up again, especially with the way Jacob was trying to seem so superior to me as he stood behind Bella, his smirk growing by the second. Her eyes were searching mine, and frantically flashing between Steph and I—a dozen different questions clear on her face. Just as I was about to say something, she closed her mouth, pursing her lips.

"I can't believe you," she said in a low whisper.

"What? I came in to see you, but you weren't here. Oh that's right, you were standing outside laughing with the guy you aren't dating, right?"

"Edward, this is my work. You can't do this here."

"Do what? Get a smoothie and cookies?" I was angry. She was implying that I was doing something I clearly hadn't meant to do, and I didn't appreciate it.

"No," she growled, stepping closer to me. "You can't come in here hitting on the people I work with. That's not right, Edward. You know what I told you is true, so stop this."

"No, sweetheart, what I know is that you keep saying the same things over and over again, but your words and your actions don't match up. I'm sick and tired of this, Bella. All I want is the truth, and for the last four years that seems to be the one thing you have a hard time giving me." Her eyes began to fill with tears, but I pressed on. "Do you think I like coming here and seeing you all cozy with some other guy? The same guy that drives you places and spends time with our son? Because I don't."

Her eyes narrowed just a tad, and her brow furrowed as I watched her hold back the tears that were threatening to slide down her cheeks. She swallowed roughly before speaking again, her words wrapped in obvious fury over the things I'd said. "So what, you transform right back into a man whore, is that it? Picking up on any girl desperate enough to have you?" She was right in my face and I could tell she was just as upset at I was.

I lowered my voice and bent down so that I was eye level with her. "Hmmm, you didn't seem so desperate a couple of weeks ago when you pulled me into the back seat of my car and…" My eyebrows rose as I reminded her, with my expression, exactly what we'd done in the back of my car. With Jacob standing so close behind her, I wanted nothing more than to tell him that Bella had practically shoved my dick down her throat, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked him not knowing. It would drive him crazy with uncertainty, as well as make him think a lot more had happened between us.

Her eyes popped open and I could almost hear the steam whistling out of her ears. She took a deep, shuddering breath, before letting it out in a gasp. Her eyes darted frantically around the room, most likely trying to see who might have heard what I'd just said to her. Jacob's hands balled into fists as he bounced from one foot to the other, clearly upset by what I'd just said. I wished that he would try to hit me, or that he'd do something to provoke me, because with the mood I was in, one more little push would most likely have me blowing up at someone. Even though I was angry with Bella, I didn't want to hurt her, and I would have really preferred to take my aggravation out on someone else. A few punches from Jacob might land me in the hospital, I wasn't stupid enough to think I'd walk away unscathed, but in the moment, it felt like it might be worth it. I wanted to feel something from Bella, other than indifference, but things were going downhill fast, and I needed to get a hold of the situation.

Her voice was no louder than a whisper, and her lips shook as she spat her words out at me. "Get out of here, and don't come back. It's one thing if you want to go find some poor little slut to take home, but how dare you do it where you know I'll see you!"

"Fine, I'll keep that in mind." I pushed past her, turning around and calling out to Steph. "Thanks again, Steph. See ya!" I waved as I made my way out the door. The only sounds I heard were rushed footsteps and the swinging of the door that led to the back room of the coffee shop.

Bella had yet to tell me the truth about things, and if she thought I was going to stand idly by while she accused me of lying to her, she had another thing coming.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Oh goodness…when will these two learn to TALK and not ASSUME? Their lack of communication skills do lend well to angst, though. :D Gotta love that!**

**Okay, the challenge. For every 10 people that review & tell me what you think, I will pick one person at random from that 10 and they will get the next chapter a day early. You gotta have a ff dot net account, or else I can't write you back. And make sure you check your inbox there. If you do get picked, I'll message you there so that I can get your email address. :)**

**Also! I'll send a teaser for the next chapter to everyone that reviews. I'm trying an experiment…we'll see how it goes. :D**

**How about some rec's? Okay!**

_**The Shimmering Veil**_** by maddux – This story is killing me! I love it! The emotion in this is wonderful, and it makes me cry. **_**She smiled sadly, wiping away a tear. There's no way he could find out the truth about her. Her father had protected and sheltered her for far too long. He would never sign her life away to a prince who's only out to further his kingdom. Would he?**_

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6058690/1/**

_**True Love Way**_** by TeamBella23 – This story owns me right now. I drop everything every day when it updates. I love it… :) **_**Moving trucks and sunglasses. Rollerblades and first loves. M&M's for smiles and notes across lawns. "Sometimes I'm just sad." and "I fucking love you hard." A boy and a girl. Feathers and heart shaped potatoes.**_

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6428102/1/**

**And something complete…**

_**Unthinkable**_** by TotallyObsessed82 – This story made me cry, scream, laugh, swoon, and want to strangle someone. And then I cried again. It's beautiful. **_**How can a woman go on after learning that the love of her life has committed one of the ultimate wrongs. Bella will have to find out for herself after she learns who Edward truly is. Will she love him after she knows the truth?**_

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6002781/1/Unthinkable**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
****Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**I wrote a Christmas o/s for Southern Fan Fiction Review. It's called **_**Camouflage Christmas**_**, and it's posted here and features a dog tag wearing Armyward. It's kinda hot… :) And I'm posting another o/s I did a couple months back for the Fandom for Preemies charity event. It's called **_**I Like It**_**, and it's a little bit of dance floor smut. It's fun…**

**I posted pictures for this chapter on my fanfic blog. There's a link on my profile. Make sure you check out E.C.'s puppy. It's about the cutest thing you've ever seen!**

**Leave me some love and you'll get a teaser…just saying… :D**


	22. Chapter 22 Need You Now

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is the ability to put my hands flat on the floor when I bend over, while keeping my legs straight. As Phoebe on **_**Friends**_** would say, "I'm very bendy." RPattz would love me… :D**

**Thanks go to my superbeta **_**MaggieMay14**_** for pinch hitting in the beta department this time around. The uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore, **_**is sitting out for a bit, and since Mag's is still hobbling around, I'm taking advantage of her inability to run away from me. She loves me… :P **

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. I know I say it every time I post something, but these two women are amazing, and I really would not want to do any of this without their support, suggestions, and all around sass. I love them both more than words can say…**

**It seems you like the idea of teasers and random readers getting the chapter early, since this is the highest reviewed chapter yet. I guess we'll try it again and see how it goes. I'm curious to see what happens when we get into the real angst of the story… Things should get interesting then. :D Thanks to the girls that got this early - _kellanisabella626, RoseArcadia, jess 'twilight matrix', Burntcore, pamcamcris23, Isabela is Online, amandaolsson, crackupmonkey, san4jon,_ and _daddiesdarlingangel_. Several of you gave me feedback, and it was wonderful. Thank you so, SO much. :)**

**Enjoy!**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

What Hurts the Most Chapter 22 – Need You Now

_Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor  
__Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore  
__And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
__For me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
__Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now  
__And I don't know how I can do without  
__I just need you now_

"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum

It had been almost a week since I'd last seen Bella. After leaving the coffee shop that Friday afternoon, I spent the weekend alone in my house, drinking as much alcohol as I could possibly consume. The crazy fruit cake lady from down the street stopped by with her latest concoction, which I accepted with a smile. I told her I was busy working on a school project, and luckily she left without much hassle. The bikini lady walked past my house eleven times Saturday afternoon, which I saw from the living room window as I devoured the pizza I'd ordered, while managing to down four bottles of Bud Light. A few months earlier, my former self would have gone out to say hello, especially as the swimming suit tops got progressively smaller and sheerer. Each time I saw her, I missed Bella more, which just reminded me of my frustration, and fueled my anger toward her. I didn't know what I was going to do.

The sadness I felt by being away from E.C. was greater than it had ever been before, and I couldn't wait for Tuesday afternoon. I was falling more and more in love with him each day, and the temptation to skip class that Tuesday and just take him out of preschool early nearly crippled me. I knew that wasn't the most responsible thing to do, so I dragged myself to the lecture hall and took notes as I listened halfheartedly. I soon realized when I spoke to E.C. that afternoon that aside from the fruit cake lady, I hadn't said one word to anyone since leaving Bella in the coffee shop on Friday. I wondered how I had gone almost four complete days with only a few syllables leaving my mouth. It depressed me, but seeing my son's happy face as I walked into the preschool made things almost back to normal, even if just for those few hours.

The afternoon passed much too quickly, and soon I was driving E.C. home, sad about not seeing him again for two days. The only thing keeping my spirits afloat was the upcoming weekend, which would be the first time I'd have him all to myself for more than just a few hours. His play set was being delivered on Friday, and I was looking forward to working on it with him. I had visions of E.C. handing me tools and helping me set things up. I even bought him his own little set of play tools with a blue tool box so that he wouldn't feel left out. I was excited to show them to him and spend the day making something together.

As we pulled up to Bella's house, I wasn't surprised to see her car gone. I was relatively certain that she didn't want to see me, especially after the things I'd said to her. I regretted letting my temper get the best of me in that moment, but I was frustrated and tired of whatever she was trying to hide from me. It was getting really old, really fast, and I needed some answers. She couldn't expect me to just sit around waiting for her while she made up her mind, could she? A little voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that Bella had sat around for the last four years waiting for me, and maybe I should cut her some slack. Every time that idea began to make sense, another voice always chimed in, saying that it was Bella's decision to leave, and Bella's decision to stay away, and Bella's decision to wait around. She'd taken all of my choices away, and that wasn't fair to me or to our son.

The conflicting emotions were quickly driving me insane.

Phil answered the door when I walked E.C. up to the house. As always, he had a pleasant smile on his face and greeted my kindly. He seemed a little strained in his conversation as he mentioned some post season major league baseball games, but I wasn't really interested in what he had to say. After a few minutes of awkward looks and quiet mumblings, I hugged E.C. and told him good night, then hurried home to the school work that awaited me.

On Thursday afternoon, E.C. seemed rather energetic when I picked him up from preschool. I wasn't sure why, but the way he walked to my car, and then walked into my house, made me think something was up. After fixing us some lunch and then watching cartoons for a few minutes, he asked if he could go play in the back yard.

"This is where we're going to put your swing set. Do you think that sounds good?" I asked as I pointed out which side of the yard his play set would be constructed on.

"Yeah. I'n gonna has a slide, huh Daddy?" he asked.

"Yep, a big one with a curve in it. And remember the rock climbing wall?"

His eyes lit up. "Oh yeah, it's gonna be fun, huh Daddy?"

"Yeah. We can put a little sandbox underneath it, too. What do you say?"

"Okay, I like a san bots. You got some san casto stuff, Daddy?"

I had to laugh at his words and how he always seemed to put his own spin on pronouncing them. "No, but I'm sure we can pick out some good things at the store."

He skipped around through the grass in the yard before suddenly grinding to a halt. I watched curiously as he stood in place, staring down at his feet. "Is something wrong, buddy?" I called out to him.

He looked up at me, his eyes big and bright. "I'n gettin' my new soos diry, Daddy."

I looked down at his feet and noticed the bright blue and white checkered shoes on his feet. I hadn't seen them before, and I mentally berated myself for missing something as important as my son's new shoes.

"Momma getted em for me, and I's uposed to not git em diry. They gots some grass on em."

I walked out into the yard and scooped him up, holding him tight to my chest. I made a show of inspecting his shoes before turning to face him. "I think we can clean them up, no worries." After taking him into the house and setting him on the kitchen counter, I removed his shoes and grabbed a few paper towels.

"So did Momma get you some new school shoes?" I asked. Once again, the feeling that I needed to be supporting him financially slammed into me like a freight train. I'd given money to Renee a few times, but I needed to set up some kind of time schedule and finally decide on an amount. It was only right, especially since things weren't going well between Bella and me at the moment, and who knew how long that would continue.

"Yep, I's got em for pweschoo. Momma getted de one with dat fwappy thing, see?" he said as he pointed to the velcro strap on each shoe.

"That's nice, isn't it? Does that mean you can put your own shoes on now, all by yourself?"

His big smile was filled with pride. "Yep, awl by myself."

I laughed for a moment as I continued to wipe the green grass marks off of his shoes. I loved spending moments like this with him, as he sat staring up at me with his big, brown eyes. He saw so much and I wondered, for a moment, if he knew what was going on between Bella and me. I sincerely hoped that we could work out our issues before he got old enough to remember any of the fighting that was already happening. As I watched his precious little face, so innocent and trusting, I decided I needed to make some changes in the way I saw things.

After his shoes were clean, he told me all about going to the shoe store and how he tried on at least one hundred different pairs before finally talking Bella into the blue ones. He was fidgeting around a bit, and when I asked why, he told me that he needed to go potty, so I led him into the bathroom and helped him take care of things. After that, I took him to my bedroom and lay down on the bed with him so that we could take a nap. I knew he was getting tired, and after a late night of studying, I was too. Within minutes of turning on The Backyardagins, he was asleep, and I quickly followed.

A couple of hours later I woke to an empty bed. I looked around the room, noticing that the television on my dresser was still turned on and blaring out cartoons, but E.C. was no where to be found. The house was eerily calm, so I figured he surely couldn't have gotten himself into too much trouble. As I walked down the hall, a feeling of dread came over me with each empty room I passed. I looked in the living room, noticing that the front door was still dead bolted, so I knew he hadn't gone into the front yard. The kitchen was oddly quiet and dark, so I knew he wasn't there. The back door was still closed and locked, and I didn't see him in the back yard. His shoes sat on the counter top, and as I stopped to listen, I felt my heart begin to race. Where was he? I knew Bella would kill me if anything happened to E.C. while I had him, and I began to frantically search each room, calling out his name.

Ending up back in my bedroom, I noticed the bathroom door slightly ajar instead of fully open. I cautiously walked over to it, and as I got closer, I caught a strong whiff of something familiar, yet different. It didn't seem to be just one scent, but several scents all integrating together. It smelled like cologne, shampoo, soap, and a few unidentifiable things. I wondered if maybe E.C. has been curious and started opening bottles that were stored in the cabinet under my sink.

As I peaked inside, my heart stopped. Sitting on the floor was my son, surrounded by thousands of sheets of unrolled toilet paper. Not only had he single-handedly unraveled an entire case of the white squares, but drizzled all over them was my brand new bottle of shampoo, as well as a full bottle of liquid hand soap. There was a slight haze in the air and I soon recognized the aroma of talcum powder. When I finally looked closer at E.C., I saw my cologne bottle in one hand as he sprinkled some of the liquid into the other, then mixed it with the powder to form a thick, chalky paste. He was rubbing the creation all over his shirt, then smearing his hand on the wall and towels that hung from a towel rack.

Just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, I saw him reach down and pick up my toothbrush from the floor. He swiped it through the paste on his shirt, then began to scrub the tiles on the floor with it. Faster than a Tasmanian devil, he had managed to cover every surface his little hands could reach with the sticky mess, and I let out a gasp in response to what I'd found.

"Hi, Daddy. I cweening, see? I smew nice, huh Daddy?" His angelic little face looked up at me with a sense of accomplishment, and I couldn't find it in me to scold him for what he'd done, though I knew it would take me the better part of the night to clean the mess he'd just made. Not to mention the fact that I'd have to restock my bathroom cabinets and buy some childproof locks for them. His hands soon shot up to rub through his hair, spreading the thick glue like substance over his head. Part of his bronze locks were plastered to his scalp while other pieces stood up, pointing out in random directions. He sneezed, then moved his hand to rub away the snot that was on his upper lip, adding to the mess that was once my sweet, perfect little boy.

After a few seconds of watching him continue to destroy everything he could touch, I quickly went to the other bathroom and started running a bath. My mom had instructed me on what type of bubble bath and baby shampoo to buy for him, and I was grateful that I'd prepared for his upcoming weekend with me. Once the tub was full, I went back to my bathroom to get him, and held my breath as the scent in the small room only got stronger with each passing minute.

"Hey buddy, this isn't a good idea, okay?" I told him, trying to make my voice sound strong and authoritative. "Would your mom let you do something like this at your house?"

His little brow scrunched up a bit. "No, but you was sweeping an I wanna cween the fwoor. It's dirry, Daddy." As I stood holding him, staring him down, his bottom lip began to shake. "Is I not supposes to cween, Daddy?"

My heart broke as his eyes filled with tears. "Hey, it's my fault, okay? I shouldn't have slept so long, but you're a big boy. You know you can't get into things, right?" He nodded slightly as he sniffled. "We're gonna go clean you up and then we're gonna come back in here and pick up this mess, alright?"

"Okay," he said in a small, wispy voice.

"Then on our way to your house, you and I are going to stop at the store and buy some more toilet paper and shampoo and stuff." I started walking toward the other bathroom, hoping that I would be able to scrape the paste off of him and rid him of the stench that was quickly filling my sinuses.

"Okay, Daddy."

After stripping him and placing him in the tub, I pulled my phone from my pocket and called my mother, trying to find out what to do about his clothes. After laughing for nearly two full minutes, she told me to hand scrub them with soap and hopefully they would be okay after washing them. Luckily, E.C.'s preschool bag had an extra outfit in it, so after I dressed him and combed his hair, he and I got to work cleaning my bathroom.

Once the floor was shiny again and all the toilet paper and my toothbrush were resting in a trash bag at the bottom of my outside garbage can, E.C. and I headed off to the store so that I could buy replacements for all the things I'd just thrown away. I also made a quick stop by the hardware store and bought four boxes of childproof cabinet latches. I knew if E.C. was getting into the cabinets in my bathroom, it wouldn't be long until he discovered the cabinets in the rest of the house.

Renee was home that evening when we got to Bella's house. As always, she was polite and welcoming, and also apologized for the fact that Bella wasn't home, again. I knew Renee wasn't choosing sides when it came to the issues facing Bella and me, and I appreciated the fact that she was more concerned with E.C.'s welfare than anything else.

"You have to rush right off, do you?" she asked, pointing toward freshly baked cookies that were on the kitchen table.

"Well, I probably should go."

"Daddy, you wanna cookie? They's yummy, see?" he said as he shoved half a cookie into his mouth and chewed animatedly, crumbs falling out from between his lips.

"Oh E.C., you know better than that, you go sit at that table and let Nana bring you a plate." Renee eyed me for a second as she hurried toward the cupboard. "Maybe your daddy will help you into your chair."

E.C. was trying to climb into a high chair type seat, and his little feet were getting tangled up, so I moved closer so that I could keep him from toppling over. Once he was seated, he picked up his remaining cookie and began to eat again. It did look really good, so I reached out and took one. Renee brought us both plates and glasses of milk, and we all sat around the table talking and eating for the next half hour.

Renee asked me if I wanted to put E.C. to bed, just so that I'd have some practice for the next few nights. I was excited to do it, and after helping him into his Spiderman pajamas, I lay him down in his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"I wuv you, Daddy."

"I love you, buddy. We're gonna have fun tomorrow, okay? I'll come pick you up from school and then we'll go back to my house and work on your swing set. Does that sound good?"

He nodded as his tiny pink lips formed into an "O" shape and he yawned. The sigh that escaped him made my chest tighten, and I looked at his drooping eyelids as he fought to stay awake. Leaning down, I placed a kiss on his cheek, then his forehead, before whispering a final "good night" to him. By the time I got to the door, his eyes were shut, so I turned off the light as I left the room, then pulled the door most of the way closed. He had a nightlight on in his room, so I knew he'd be fine.

Renee was in the kitchen cleaning up our dishes and I stopped to say goodbye to her.

"Edward, can we talk for a minute?" she asked. For a moment I worried over what she'd say to me, but the look in her eyes made me feel like I wasn't about to be admonished for my recent actions.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Well, first of all, I'm really sorry about Bella not being here. I don't know what's going on between you two, but she's been antsy all week and it feels like it's something big." I could hear the sincerity in her voice as she spoke. "Is there anything you need to talk about? I'm a good listener."

I stared down at the floor for a moment, wondering what I could say to her, and what she would think of me if I told her the truth. "Well, I saw Bella at her work last week. I said some things that I shouldn't have, but in my defense, she was there with Jacob. You know him, right?"

"Yeah, I know Jacob. They're friends, Edward, but I'm pretty sure that's it. I think I'd know if something more was going on between them."

I internally cringed as I sensed a bit of uncertainty in her words. "Well, Bella keeps saying they're just friends, but he told me they aren't. I know she's keeping something from me, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is. This Jake thing is all that makes sense." I let out a deep breath as I pushed my hands into my front jean pockets. "I mean, she was all giggling to him and touching his arm and stuff. She was flirting with him, so how could she be mad at me for just talking to the girl she works with? I didn't do anything wrong."

I could feel myself starting to get worked up again, and I knew I needed to stop. I didn't want to lose Renee as a confidant, and I didn't want to lose her trust, especially when it came to me spending time with E.C.

"Edward, I don't know what to say. I can't explain her actions, but I can tell you that I've never seen or heard her talk about Jacob the way she talks about you. I know she doesn't feel for him the things she feels for you. Maybe she's just scared or something, I honestly don't know. She's been quiet all week, not wanting to talk about anything. It's frustrating me, too." Her eyes glistened as she moved closer to me, giving me a pleading look as she continued. "Just hang in there and give her some time. Give her the benefit of the doubt, for now. Wait until you have something substantial to go on before you do or say things you can't take back."

"I know, I feel bad for what I did, but I'm just so frustrated. I'm in love with her and she just keeps pushing me away. I don't know how to deal with that."

Renee reached out and patted my arm gently. "I know she loves you, Edward. She might not be acting like it, but I know she does. She's so much like her father, always guarded and trying to do the right thing." She laughed as she rolled her eyes. "She's a good girl, and I love her, so please just be patient. It will all work out, I promise you."

I nodded, then quietly thanked her for her words of encouragement. We spoke for a few more minutes about the upcoming weekend and also about the child support I'd been worried over. She told me that E.C. was fine and that she and Phil didn't mind helping Bella by paying for a few things. After I insisted on doing my fair share, explaining that I wanted to help, she suggested maybe I could open a savings account for E.C. and simply deposit money into that each month. It sounded like a good idea for the time being, so I assured her that I would check into it and get the information to her so that she and Bella would have access to it. It made me feel better that we finally had some type of plan set up. Before leaving, I told Renee about the bathroom incident, and she laughed at how inquisitive E.C. was, warning me that this was just the beginning. I assured her that I was looking forward to it, and that I couldn't wait to spend more time with my son. As she walked me out, I let her know that I'd bought childproof locks for the cabinets, and she laughed again, patting my shoulder as she shook her head and mumbled something along the lines of, "Like that would stop him."

Trying to get homework done that night was difficult. Aside from my issues with Bella, I was worn out from my time spent with E.C. My body hadn't been this exhausted since I'd been playing football, and I had a whole new respect for Bella and the way she'd managed to keep things going on her own for the past four years. I was quickly learning how hard it was to find a balance between being a father and being a student. I couldn't even imagine having the time or energy to go out clubbing or dating, though I also didn't want to go alone. I wanted to do those kinds of things with Bella, but every time I thought about her, my anger started to flare up and I had to walk away from my homework before I threw a text book against the wall.

The next day brought more classes, but I couldn't wait for them to be over. E.C. was staying the weekend with me, and my body hummed as the excitement flowed through me. After picking him up from preschool, we went to a McDonalds drive-thru to get some lunch, then arrived home just in time to meet with the crew that was installing the posts for E.C.'s play set. We watched from the kitchen table as they dug the holes and cemented the wooden beams into the ground. E.C. was captivated by the post hole digging machine, and I had to laugh as he stood—memorized—with his tiny button nose pressed up against the sliding glass doors.

A couple of hours later, the crew was done, and E.C. and I went out to the backyard to inspect their work. After noticing that the cement was still wet, I asked E.C. if he wanted to write his name in it, and maybe put his hand prints next to that. He jumped up and down, clapping and squealing as I quickly found something to use as a writing utensil.

"Daddy, let me do it!" he yelled as I began writing his name. I helped him write out "E.C." and then the date, before pressing his little hands into the quickly firming cement.

"Daddy, you wanna make one, too?"

"Sure thing. Where should I do it?" I asked, waiting as he walked from pole to pole, looking to find just the right spot.

"Dis one!" he said, pointing to the post closest to the one his imprints were in. I let him help me write my name, and then press down on my fingers as I tried to fit them in the small space. They ended up wrapping around the pole a bit, and E.C. smiled when we were done, excited to see how big my hands were compared to his.

As the night wore on, we ordered pizza and watched _How to Train Your Dragon_, which I hadn't seen before. I had been searching the movie store for something that looked cool, and after finding it, the guy behind the counter assured me it was good for kids. E.C. was excited and told me that he'd read a book about dragons at school that day. We snuggled into the sofa with popcorn and a blanket and my heart warmed a little more with each laugh my son made. Whether or not the movie was good, I couldn't really say. I spent more time watching my little boy laugh and giggle, while I played with his hair and picked up errant pieces of popcorn from the couch. As soon as the movie was over, he begged to watch it again, but then I reminded him that we had to be up early the next day so that we could work on his play set. We were going to be putting it together, and I had been telling him all day that he was going to be my helper, and I couldn't do it without him.

After a quick bath, I helped him pull his pajamas on and brush his teeth. Just before tucking him into bed, he looked at me in a very peculiar way, and all I could see was Bella. The expression on his face looked a little worried, and it dawned on me that this was one of his first nights away from his mother and his home. He seemed to get a little clingier as we lay in his bed reading a book, and when I stood to tuck him in, his big brown eyes looked up at me with the saddest look I'd ever seen.

"Daddy, don't go," he whispered, his bottom lip starting to quiver.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling more confused as each minute passed by.

"I'n scared. I want Momma."

The first tear of many quickly ran down his cheek and I sat back down on his bed. He struggled against his blankets for a moment before launching himself into my lap. Burying his face in my neck, he cried and shook, his little chest rattling around in my big arms. I tried my best to soothe him, stroking his hair and humming quietly.

"You want to sleep in my bed tonight with me?" I asked, feeling him nod ever so slightly. "Okay, well I need to get my pajamas on, so why don't we go in my room and I'll get you tucked in and then I'll get changed, okay?"

"Okay." His voice was still nothing more than a whisper, but I could feel him relaxing, and I was relieved that I had handled things well so far. I wasn't sure how I would do once a real fit or tantrum hit, but hopefully I could work up to that.

I lay him on my bed after pulling back the blankets, and just as I was about to place them over him, he quickly sat up and scooted around me and off the bed, running out the door and into the hallway. I wondered where he was going, and panicked for a moment that he was going to try and run home. As I hurried out after him, I saw him turn on the light in his bedroom and run to his backpack. Reaching in, he grabbed a Mickey Mouse doll and pulled it tight to his chest. He turned around and I could see a different look in his eyes. He looked more at ease, and I was glad that he'd remembered to bring something familiar with him.

"Is that your toy?" I asked, a little taken aback by the fact that my son had a doll, but quickly recalling the Smurf doll that I'd slept with until I was seven. I would never deny my son the same comfort that I'd had.

"Yep, is a Mickey."

He ran past me and back to my bedroom, climbing up onto my bed and scooting down into the sheets. He looked so small in my big bed, but I was happy to have him so close to me. I rushed to get my clothes changed, and as I pulled the blankets back to lie next to him, he shifted closer to me.

"You're not gonna wet the bed, right?" I asked, after a horrific memory of sharing a bed with Emmett when we were little crossed my mind.

"Nope, I potty in da big toy-yet, Daddy."

"Alright, just checking. Let's get some sleep." I reached over and turned off the light on my night stand, then rolled onto my side so that I was facing E.C. I lay my arm over his waist and pulled him closer to me. I didn't think he would roll off the bed, but I didn't want to take any chances.

After about fifteen minutes, I realized that E.C. was still wide awake. "Is everything okay, buddy?" I asked.

"Momma is loney wit out me, huh? You tink she cried like me?" he asked, his small voice sounding so loud in the silent house.

"I'm sure she misses you a lot. She loves you, but I think she knows we're having fun, right?"

"Yeah, guess so." He let out a deep sigh.

I wanted E.C. to be comfortable with me. I wanted him to feel at home in my home. I wanted him to be happy. Most of all, I wanted him to feel safe and loved. As I lay there next to this tiny little boy, worry for his mother etched across his baby face, I let my guard down for a few moments.

"E.C., you wanna call Momma and tell her good night?"

He turned to look at me, his eyes wide in the darkness. "Can I?"

I smiled reassuringly to him. "Of course you can. Let me grab my phone, hang on." I flipped on the lamp, then got out of bed and walked back to the bathroom, where I'd left my phone and wallet. It was late, but I had a feeling that tonight, of all nights, Bella would still be up, wide awake, and sitting at home.

After finding the number to her cell phone, I called it, clearing my throat as it rang. After the second ring, I heard her voice.

"Hello? Edward? Is everything okay?" I could hear the panic in her tone, and it made me cringe to think that she might be needlessly worried.

"Yeah, it's fine. Someone wanted to say goodnight to you."

"Alright," she said.

I handed E.C. the phone and watched him for the next ten minutes as he animatedly spoke to Bella, telling her all about the Happy Meals, the play set, the hand prints, the dragon movie, and how he was sleeping in his daddy's big bed. After several yawns, I heard him whispering goodnight to Bella, and the words he murmured just before handing me the phone made my breath catch.

"I love you, Momma. Forever, love. Forever."

_Our saying_. She had taught him our saying, and as I closed the phone and turned off the light, I realized that I needed to get over my jealousy and anger issues, and I needed to find a way to work things out with Bella. Our son deserved at least that much from us.

The next morning E.C. and I ate pop tarts and cold cereal for breakfast. As we sat the kitchen table, I thought about how much fun it would be to make him a big breakfast every morning that he spent with me. My mother was going to be visiting soon, and I hoped that maybe she would teach me how to cook a few different meals. I was pretty good with anything out of a box or a can, but homemade stuff was not my specialty.

E.C. and I gathered our tools together and headed outside to start working on his play set. He helped me by holding the boards together and finding certain screwdrivers when I needed them. He happily chattered on about different things, and I enjoyed listening to him tell me about his life. He was a funny and inquisitive little boy, asking about the varying sized bolts and screws, and how I knew what pieces went where on the play set.

After a couple of hours, an idea struck me. E.C. had been mentioning his friends and spending time at the beach, and Jake's name came up in several of the stories. Bella might not have been willing to let me in on her life, but maybe if I asked in a certain way, E.C. would tell me things. I felt bad about doing it, but my curiosity was killing me, and I needed some answers so that I could get over the jealousy and resentment that was slowly eating away at me.

"So does Momma have lots of friends that come and play with you?" I asked quietly, trying not to make my question seem too out of the ordinary.

"Nope, jus Jake. He'd nice to me. He teach-ed me to pway football at da beach."

"Oh, that's nice of him. Do you play with Jake a lot?"

"Nah, jus sometimes. We pwayed baseball, too. He buyed me a bat." E.C.'s eyes were focused on the screws he held in his hand, trying to not drop them. They were pretty big, and I knew if they fell into the grass, we'd be able to find them easily enough, but the attention he paid to them was sweet. I was glad that he took his assistant job so seriously.

"So does Momma go to school a lot?"

"Yeah, sometime she does."

"Where did you go before you started going to preschool?" I asked.

"I stayed at home wit Nana or Papa Phiw. Sometimes I goed to Ayden's house."

"Is that one of your friends?"

"Yep, he gots a yewo house down da stweet. He's gots a cat and a big brudder. He's mean, I don like him."

"Oh yeah, sometimes big brother's are mean, huh? I have a big brother, Uncle Emmett. He used to be kinda mean when we were little."

"You was litto?"

"Yeah, just like you. Maybe Granny can show you some pictures some time. Would you like that? She says I looked just like you do."

His face lit up. "Okay," he said with a smile.

"So, does Momma spend lots of time with Jake?" I asked, hoping E.C. wouldn't hear the tremble in my voice. This was the answer I'd been wanting—needing really, yet dreading.

"No, she goed to work wit him sometime, but dat's all."

"So she doesn't go to movies or dinner or anything with him?"

"Nope. One time he bringed pizza to our house. It had shrooms on it. It was yuck." I laughed as his nose scrunched up in disgust.

"You don't like mushrooms, buddy?" I asked.

"Ew, gross."

"So, does Momma go see movies or eat dinner with her other friends?" I asked, as we finished assembling the last railing for the tree house portion of the structure.

"Nope, jus wit me and Nana or Papa Phiw."

"So, she doesn't have a boyfriend or anything? She doesn't kiss anyone else?"

He looked at me quizzically before answering. "I see'd her kissing you, Daddy. Is you her boyfwend?"

I let out a long breath. "I hope so, E.C."

We worked through the afternoon, taking breaks every so often to get a drink or have a snack, and by the time it was dark, E.C. was climbing up the rock wall and sliding down the curved slide. He squealed each time he did it, and it made me happy to watch him having so much fun. I assured him that the next day we'd get the sandbox filled with sand so that he could play in it. We spent the rest of our evening swinging on the swings, and relaxing in the warm autumn air.

After going out to eat at a little chinese food restaurant a few miles away, we went back to the house and got ready for bed. E.C. asked me if I wanted to play in his bubble bath with him, and as tempting as it looked, I kindly refused his request. Once we were both ready for bed, we called my parents and E.C. talked to them for several minutes, telling them all about our weekend and how much fun he was having. Before hanging up with them, my mother told me that she'd sent several pictures from Alice's wedding to me. Since they would most likely arrive either Monday or Tuesday, she wanted me to make sure and watch for them. I remembered the family pictures that Bella, E.C., and I had taken, and I was suddenly anxious to see them.

We called Bella again to tell her good night, and her voice sounded much calmer than it had the night before. I didn't speak to her, other than a quick hello and then telling her that E.C. wanted to say goodnight. I still wasn't sure what to say, and I felt bad about that. I heard her assuring E.C. that she would be home Sunday evening when I was supposed to drop him off, and I wondered for a few moments if I might actually see her and even talk to her. I hoped with everything in me that I wouldn't mess things up any worse than I already had.

Sunday flew by, with E.C. and I building his sandbox and shopping for sand castle building supplies, and before I knew it, we were pulling up to Bella's house. I walked him to the door, and by the time we were half way across the yard, Bella was out of the house and running toward us.

"Hi baby!" she yelled to him, squatting down and throwing her arms around him.

"Hi Momma," he said, holding on to her tightly. They clung to each other for a few moments, and I almost started to feel as though I was interrupting them and their private moment together. I shifted awkwardly back and forth on my feet as I waited for them to finish their greeting. Finally, Bella loosened her hold on him and E.C. backed up a bit.

"Did you have fun with your daddy?" she asked, as she smoothed her hands over his hair and face.

"Yeah, we had fun, huh Daddy?" He looked up at me, a smile on his face.

"We sure did. You were a good helper, huh buddy?" I said to him, reaching down to ruffle his hair a bit.

"Good, I'm glad you boys had fun," Bella said, standing up.

Just then Renee came to the open front door and E.C. saw her. "Hi Nana!" he yelled, before running over to her. She hugged him and welcomed him home, then told him to give me a hug goodbye before he came into the house.

I knelt down, taking him into my arms and feeling a tug of sadness at the thought of not being with him again that night. "I'll miss you tonight. You be good for your mom, okay?"

"Okay. I miss you, too, Daddy."

He placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek before giggling at his actions. "Oh yeah?" I teased him, pushing my face between his neck and shoulder and noisily kissing him. He squirmed in my arms and laughed as he struggled to get away. When I finally let him go, I looked at him for a moment, memorizing each freckle on his tiny face. "I love you, E.C. I'll see you soon, alright?"

"K. I love you, too, Daddy. Bye!"

He hurried off toward the house and Renee, who stood with a plate of brownies in her hand. She gave me a smile and wave before pulling my son into the house. I was glad that the sky was quickly darkening as I felt the pang of tears begin to build in my eyes. I knew I hadn't been doing the father thing very long, but I already loved it and wanted it so much. The thought of being without my son for even one night made me ache. Nervously, I handed E.C.'s backpack to Bella, who remained standing quietly near me.

"Here's his stuff. Um, thank you for letting me keep him, I really appreciate it."

She carefully took his bag from me before reaching up with her free hand to push her hair behind her ear. "Sure thing, I'm glad you guys had fun."

We stood silently together for a few moments, tension slowly building in the air between us. Finally, without much thought, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"I'm sorry about last week. I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I don't know, Bella. I was angry and really hurt and I'm just sorry if you thought I was flirting or whatever. I didn't mean to."

She watched me for a moment before finally nodding. "Okay," she said softly.

I fidgeted nervously with the key ring in my hands, unable to meet her eyes, though I could feel her looking at me. "Um...I don't want to hurt you, I just was stupid and I lost it. I'm really sorry."

She let out a long breath, and when she spoke, her voice was soft and a little shaky. "It's okay. I've been thinking about it, and I get it. Steph told me that you were just talking to her, that you weren't flirting or anything, so I'm sorry that I got so upset. I just jumped to conclusions, and it wasn't right."

"Oh, um thanks."

I felt like I was fifteen again, unsure about girls and emotions, and scared to death of rejection. We stood in her yard for a few more moments, neither of us speaking, yet neither of us able to walk away, either. I wanted so much to ask her something—anything—but I didn't know what. Most of the questions running through my head would make her think that I didn't trust her, or that I didn't believe her. In all honesty, I didn't trust her. I hadn't had much luck with women and truthfulness in the past few years, and though I knew Bella was different, it was hard to break old habits. I'd built up walls and I didn't think I'd be able to knock them all down in just a few weeks. Until Bella proved herself, I would always be hesitant of what she said, and it killed me. I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn't put my issues on her and make her pay for mistakes made by other women, but I couldn't help it. I was scared. To make matters worse, it wasn't just me this time. If things got completely screwed up, she and I weren't going to be the only ones affected. Our son would be hurt, and more than anything, I wanted to protect him.

I chanced a look at her, our eyes finally meeting. She looked as confused and anxious as I felt, and I knew that things wouldn't be resolved that night.

"Well, I'm gonna go, I've got some homework to do. Turns out, it's hard to get things done with a three year running loose in the house," I said, with a smirk.

She laughed. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for this, Edward. I know he was really excited about the weekend." She paused for a moment, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. "And thank you for letting him call me at night. I really appreciate that, it meant a lot to me."

"Sure, it was no biggie. I think it helped him relax, anyway, so it was fine. I just didn't want to interrupt your plans or anything, so..."

"You didn't. You know, I don't usually have plans, aside from work and school, so it's fine."

"Okay, well I'll see you Tuesday, then. Maybe."

"Good night, Edward," she said as I turned and walked toward my car. Just before I reached it, I heard her call out to me. "Oh hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?" I said as I spun around to face her. A feeling of excitement flashed through me as she jogged over to where I stood.

"Um, my birthday is next week and my mom wants to have a little party next Sunday. It's no big deal, just cake and stuff, but if you want come, that'd be nice."

"Oh, well, yeah that should be okay." I nodded, a little surprised that she'd invite me. My heart soared at the possibility that maybe we really could work things out.

"Okay, just come by around four? I know E.C. will be excited to have you here."

The smile on my face started to fade. She only wanted me there for our son. "Sure," I said, disheartened at her comment.

She looked down to the ground. "I'd like you here, too."

Watching her closely, I could see the anxiety in her stance, and I wanted to calm her. "Alright, I'll be here." With that, I reached out with my hand, running it up and down her upper arm a few times before quickly leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek. She smelled amazing, and I wanted to hold her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and whisk her away to a place were we could be alone and I could express to her just how much I wanted and needed her.

She tensed up just a bit as I let my face linger next to hers for a moment. "Good night," I whispered into her ear, before lightly kissing her on the neck, just under her ear. She sighed and whispered her good night to me as I pulled away from her, feeling the loss immediately. A chill ran through me, even though the evening air was warm, and for the rest of the night I clung to the hope that maybe we would be okay.

Monday night found me sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by pictures from Alice and Jasper's wedding. My mother had sent two copies of each photograph, along with a note explaining that I could send any of them to Bella that I thought she might like to have. I'd been studying most of the evening, and even though it was after one in the morning, and I knew I had to be up for classes by six thirty, I couldn't sleep.

I kept looking at each picture, over and over again. The group pictures of my entire family were wonderful, all of us looking so happy. The photos of just Bella, E.C., and I were my favorites. She looked so relaxed and calm, even though I knew how anxious she had been that day. There was one picture of the three of us that I really loved, and I decided that I would frame it and give it to Bella for her birthday. I planned to give her the other pictures, too, but I wanted her to have one that she could put up right away. I also wanted to frame several of the photographs for my house, so that I could be surrounded by images of the people I loved. I wanted E.C. to see them here and for him to know how important he and Bella were to me. I picked one out to hang in his bedroom, too, and hoped that he would like it.

Even though all of the posed pictures were great, there were two candid shots that took my breath away. They were of Bella, E.C., and I walking down the aisle just after the ceremony. In the first one, E.C. was looking straight ahead, smiling widely as he held onto Bella's hand on one side, and mine on the other. We were both looking down at him, with bright smiles on our faces. It was a moment I would never forget.

The other picture was the same pose, Bella watching E.C. as he looked ahead of us, but I wasn't looking at E.C. My eyes were firmly fixed on Bella, and the smile on my lips was one I'd never seen before. She had looked so beautiful that day, and I remembered gazing at her and wishing that it was she and I who had just been married. I decided that I would frame that picture as well, so that she would always be able to see how much I loved and adored her. She was the love of my life, and I hoped, as I sat looking at our images, that she felt the same way. I wanted to call her—to just say hi and that I was thinking about her—but I knew it was too late in the night to do that. I wondered if she ever thought about me the way I thought about her. I hoped that maybe I crossed her mind as often as she did mine.

No matter what had happened between us, or what would come in the future, I knew in my heart that she was the one for me. As I sat immersed in memories of us together, it occurred to me that Bella was never going to make the first move—she wasn't going to give me some huge sign saying that she was ready for us to be together. I needed to take the initiative and make a gesture that would prove my feelings for her, and I hoped my gift could do that. I would always love her, and always need her. As I sat staring at our pictures, I just hoped that she felt the same.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Now before you all scream at Edward for prying information out of his son, put yourself in his position for a minute… He just had a huge blow up with Bella, he's angry, frustrated, lonely, and totally confused. Don't blame him for asking a few harmless questions. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone, he's just trying to figure out what's really going on, just like you are. Give the poor boy a break, I mean…he's kinda nice to look at, right? And he's sweet with his son? Don't scream at him too loudly.**

**Okay, we'll do the challenge again, and see if more cuteness and less angst makes a difference. I'm curious… For every 10 people that review & tell me what you think, I will pick one person at random from that 10 and they will get the next chapter a day early. You gotta have a ff dot net account, or else I can't write you back. And make sure you check your inbox there. If you do get picked, I'll message you there so that I can get your email address. :)**

**Also! I'll send a teaser for the next chapter to everyone that reviews. It might take me a couple of weeks since I'm writing this, plus another chapter story, PLUS 3 one shots for different charity things. I have a lot to write and deadlines that are creeping up on me… :)**

**How about some rec's? Okay!**

_**Starry Eyed Inside**_** by Rochelle Allison – Oh. My. Goodness. I haven't been THIS obsessed with a story in a while. It's so good…the way she writes the emotion in the story…I feel like I AM Bella and totally living what she's going through. It's incredible. **_**High School Fictional. No one sends Bella into a tailspin quite like Edward Cullen... but can she make him hers? The ups and downs and all arounds.**_** Trust me…READ IT!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6268757/1/Starry_Eyed_Inside**

_**Click and Strum**_** by Bratty-Vamp – I know, it's no secret that I love everything this woman writes, and this story is no exception. It's so good. Her Characters are so good. Her Bella is funny and a little quirky, but strong and independent. Her Edward is shallow, yet secretly deep, brooding, yet lonely. It's wonderful, it really, really is. **_**Isabella was anxious to start a new life, in a new location. And she was eager to put a few more question marks in her rigid day-planner. But the guy down the hall might have presented a larger deviation from her organized life than she bargained for. **_**And Edward plays the guitar… Need I say more?**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6476738/1/Click_Strum**

**And for something complete…**

_**Little Plastic Castle**_** by Yogagal – I'm not gonna lie, this does NOT have a normal HEA. Just know that going in, but it is so realistic and honest… The struggles of both Bella and Edward are heart wrenching. It's such a beautiful story, and the last few lines of it offer so much hope for them… I sobbed and was a teary mess all day after reading it, but it was so good… Ugh, it's beautiful. **_**Even the best built castles sometimes fall. In a coffee shop, in a city...two people struggle to remember how to put those pieces back together. **_

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6484653/1/Little_Plastic_Castle**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
****And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
****I also have a FanFic Blog where are pictures posted, like E.C.'s playset and Edward's house. It's cool.  
****Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
****Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**I'm doing stories for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence and for Foxy Fics charity drives, which are occurring in February and then March, respectively. For a small donation, you'll get a pdf featuring tons and tons of stories from some of your favorite fan fic authors. For the Domestic Violence one, I'll be submitting the first chapter to the story I'll write after I finish one of the ones I'm doing now. It's good, and features a slightly abused Bella as she struggles with her life. For Foxy Fics, I'm planning an Edward POV for my story **_**Baby**_** that I wrote last year. I had SO many people ask for it, so I'm gonna try it… :D**

**Start saving your pennies! They are both wonderful causes and you get so many great stories for the amount you spend. It's a lovely, lovely thing. :)**

**Leave me some love and I'll tease you…and, as Phoebe would say, "And maybe more…" :D I loved **_**Friends**_**… :D**


	23. Chapter 23 I'm So Excited

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an extreme love for the movie Erin Brockovich. :D That movie is so good...when she comes in saying, "I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired," it makes me giddy. :D And oh yeah, boobs will get you just about anything. :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore, **_**who is always there when I have questions. She's kinda wonderful.**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **_**Mrs. Robward.**_** I fluve her flouncy little tushie tons & tons.**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. How does that Jerry Macguire movie go... They complete me. Yeah, something like that. :)**

**The girls that got this chapter early were:**_** grabadietcoke, symphiann, xXKiwiCullenXx, natcullen1204, DreamerRoad, dien-da**_**, and **_**AydenMorgen**_**. I hope they liked it. :)**

**Thank you for waiting so patiently for this story to continue. I've been busy trying to get some other things written, and with the deadlines I was facing, I didn't get to work on this the way I wanted to. Sorry for that. Hopefully now, things will get back on track. We're past the half way point now in this story, so I hope you're ready for the angst to amp up. You only thought things were angsty before... :D**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 23 – I'm So Excited

_Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen  
Tonight we'll put all other things aside  
Give in this time and show me some affection  
We're going for those pleasures in the night  
I want to love you, feel you  
Wrap myself around you  
I want to squeeze you, please you  
I just can't get enough  
And if you move real slow  
I'll let it go_

_I'm so excited and I just can't hide it  
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it  
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it  
And I know, I know, I know, I know  
I know I want you_

"I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Sometimes life just seems to pass you by and you don't even realize it. Not really, anyway. That's how the next week went.

Since seeing Bella Sunday night, things had been a little less strained between us. We weren't spending hours on the phone talking or anything, but she was civil and even smiled when I'd drop off E.C., and she'd even spoken to me when I'd called Friday night to tell him goodnight. On Thursday, E.C. had asked me to call, saying that he enjoyed talking to Bella when he was at my house, so he thought he'd enjoy talking to me when he was at home. I liked the idea and made sure to call him the next night, just to wish him sweet dreams.

I hadn't been back to Bella's work. I was worried about what might happen if I did, and I didn't want anything else to happen between us that wasn't positive. I was trying to mend our relationship, and I knew it would take a lot of baby steps and little things to do that. Bella was worth it to me, and I was prepared to spend whatever amount of time that was required. I just hoped that we'd keep moving in the right direction and not take any more big steps backward.

The pictures that I'd chosen to give Bella for her birthday were framed and wrapped, waiting patiently on my dining table for the party on Sunday. When E.C. spent the afternoon with me Tuesday, he told me all about the party preparations that were underway at Bella's house. Apparently, Renee was a little excited and was planning a full blown luau. I couldn't wait to see what Bella thought of that, remembering how low key she had always been about celebrations, especially when they were in her honor.

"Nana buyed fire tingies for the yard. I gotta big matches for 'em, I's gonna light dem for Momma's birfday," E.C. told me as we played on the play set in the backyard.

"Cool, it sounds like it's gonna be lots of fun."

"Yep, Nana's makin' a cake, too. She gonna put flowers on it, like my flower necklace. I got's a flower necklace, Daddy."

"You did? Nana bought you a necklace?" I asked, curious as to why my son was wearing a necklace with flowers on it. I wondered if he and I needed to set up some guidelines as far as what was and was not acceptable man-wear.

"Yep, an a dress made a grass. Momma got's one, too."

I started putting two and two together in my head. "Oh, you mean you have a grass skirt and a flower lei to wear for the party? So you'll look like you're from Hawaii?"

"Yeah!" he yelled, just before flinging himself down the slide for the twentieth time that afternoon. I was growing more and more nervous about the party, especially knowing that Renee could be a little eccentric at times.

I had every right to worry as I pulled up to their house Sunday afternoon and saw the line of cars parked along the road. I was sure they couldn't all be for Bella's party, since she probably didn't know enough people to fill half the cars, but the loud music coming from her backyard made me second guess myself.

There were people spilling out into the front yard, everyone wearing their best Hawaiian apparel, and I wondered if I was under dressed, in my cargo shorts and t-shirt. Bella had told me it would be low key and laid back, so I'd dressed for an afternoon of playing with my son, not a party with easily over a hundred people in attendance.

I made my way through the crowd, looking for anyone I might recognize. Phil was standing behind the grill cooking, and when he spotted me, he smiled and gestured toward the other side of the yard. After walking that way, I finally saw E.C. and Renee dancing on a little makeshift dance floor with a DJ nearby, playing some song with a lot of island drums.

E.C. was wearing his little grass skirt over his t-shirt and shorts, and the flower lei hung around his neck. He had a straw hat on his head and a pair of sunglasses, as well as his new shoes on his feet. I watched him dance for a few minutes, hoping that someday he would grow out of what seemed to be the two left feet he had been cursed with.

"Daddy!" he yelled, running toward me at full speed. I knelt down and grabbed him when he threw his arms around my neck.

"Hey buddy, you look great. You dancing with Nana over there?"

"Yep, we's dancin' to da drums, Daddy. Come on," he said, wiggling out of my arms and grabbing my hand as he tried to pull me toward the dance floor. Renee laughed, waving and saying hello as I got closer. I was still holding the birthday gift I'd brought for Bella and I wasn't sure what to do with it. Renee spotted it in my hand and smiled.

"There's a table over there if you want to set it down, or else you can just wait until you see her and give it to her yourself."

I smiled, a bit relieved. "Okay, thanks. I'll just give it to her. Do you know where she is?" I asked, looking around us. There were people everywhere and I wondered who they all were.

"Oh, she's around here somewhere, just enjoying the party. It's not every year my baby turns 21, Edward. We're celebrating, aren't we E.C.?" she said as she reached down and took his outstretched hand. They started dancing again, my son giggling and laughing the whole time as he watched his grandmother spin and twist along side him. Renee was clearly feeling the effects of whatever drink she had in her hand, and after she pointed to Phil, making sure I knew to get some food, I told E.C. that I'd be back.

Phil was talking to some other men that he apparently worked with, and I quickly caught up with their conversation about the upcoming football season.

"Edward, you were a starting QB on your college team, so what, no dreams to go pro?" Phil asked.

"Nah, I think I'd had enough of all the aches and pains. Plus I want to be a doctor before I'm 40, so I figured may as well move on and start planning my life, you know?"

"Yeah, I hear that," one of the men said. Turns out, he'd played minor league baseball for years, never making into the big leagues.

"Besides, now I have E.C. and Bella, so I want to be more stable and have a say in where I live. You don't usually get that with pro sports teams."

"Good decision, Edward," Phil said, nodding along with the other men.

"So Phil, how's the big move looking?" one of the men asked. Just as Phil started to speak, I heard my name being called from across the yard. Turning my head, I saw Bella, and about fell over.

She was standing on the porch in a bikini top with a grass skirt and bare feet. She had flowers around one of her ankles and one of her wrists, as well as a white lei around her neck. Her hair was down and curly, and there was a large blue flower in her hair that was just a shade or two lighter then the bikini she was wearing. Her stomach was tanned, though not nearly as tanned as some of the other women at the party. My eyes moved up and down her body, taking in the curves of her waist, her hips, and her breasts. The tiny string holding her top on tied up around her neck, and that's when I saw her smile.

She was waving at me and calling my name, and I excused myself from Phil and his friends and made my way across the yard.

"Edwaaaaaard!" she called as I got closer. She was giggling and smiling so big, I wondered for a moment what had changed—why she seemed so excited to see me. That's when I noticed the glass in her hand. It was tall and frothy, a white drink inside. Sticking out of the top of the glass was an umbrella and there was a pineapple wedge stuck on the rim.

"Hey birthday girl," I said once I got close enough for her to hear me.

"You're here!" she yelled, rushing toward me and throwing her free arm around my neck. She smelled so good, and I couldn't help but bury my face in her hair. "I missed you sooooo much," she said, before she hiccupped.

Pulling back, I looked at her. She was drunk. She wasn't just 'I've had a few too many' drunk, she was totally bombed. I'd never seen her like that before, and I watched her face for a moment, happy to see how relaxed she looked. As soon as she realized what she'd done, she looked up at me with wide eyes, then burst out laughing.

"You okay?" I asked, leaving my arm around her waist as she continued to giggle and sway.

"My mom made pina colada's today. I had three for breakfast, and they're soooooo yummy. You should have some," she said, her words slurring just the slightest bit. She held her glass up to me, the straw sticking out and poking into my lip.

"That's okay; I'll get something in a minute. You having fun? I saw E.C. dancing with your mom."

"Yeah, he thinks I'm too silly to be with. That's okay, 'cause he hasn't seen me drink before. I'm 21 now, you know? I can drink." She leaned into me, her mouth close to my ear. The words were most likely meant to be a whisper, but they came out quite loud. "Don't tell him, but I think I'm drunk, Edward."

"I think you are, too. Have you had pina colada's before?" I laughed.

"Yeah, a little bit, but I wasn't supposed to. Now it's okay, 'cause it was my birthday." She looked into my eyes, her face turning very serious. "I'm so glad you came to my party. You're, like, one of the only people I know here. These are all my mom and Phil's friends, and neighbors and stuff. Oh, and Jake. He's here somewhere." I stiffened a little at the mention of Jake's name, but tried to keep smiling so she wouldn't see my discomfort. They were friends, whether I liked it or not. I took a deep breath before letting my discomfort go and listening to her as she continued to ramble on.

"Did you eat?" she asked. Once I shook my head, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the food, insisting I get something to eat while she went to check on E.C. and refill her glass. She was going to have a horrible hang over the next day if she didn't slow down, and I wondered if she'd ever been that drunk before.

Piling food on my plate, my mind wandered back to high school and the few parties that we'd gone to. She never drank, always afraid that Charlie would catch her. It had been over four years since then, and I wished that I knew how many parties she'd been to during our time apart.

I found a bench on the side of the yard and sat down, placing my gift on the ground next to my feet. I ate my hamburger as I watched Bella, E.C., and Renee dance together on the dance floor. The way Bella moved was so sexy; I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My fingers literally ached to touch her, and as she turned around, swaying and shaking her hips, I had to keep myself in my seat. I wanted to go and dance with her, but this was neither the time nor the place to make a move on her. Plus, she was drunk, and I wanted her to be sober when we finally worked things out between us.

After half an hour, she came to sit next to me, talking and laughing about the party. Apparently Renee had wanted to roast a pig in some type of elaborate pit barbeque, but Bella and Phil had managed to talk her out of it. Bella was happy and carefree, and I was starting to like seeing her drunk. She was still her regular self, just much more open and easy going. The only down side was that Drunk Bella was a talker, and I didn't manage to get in more than a few words the whole time we sat together. I wondered several times if I should give her my gift, but it just never seemed like the right moment.

Jake was a fixture around the party, talking to lots of different people, but keeping his distance from me. I was glad for that, especially when Bella was with me. He did manage to dance with her a few times when she was with Renee and E.C., but he also danced with them, so it wasn't like he was isolating just Bella. E.C. seemed to laugh a lot with him, and as much as I disliked the guy, I had to acknowledge that he was good to my son, and I was grateful for that.

A couple of hours into the party, people started to leave, and I was nursing my third beer. I'd had a few sips of Bella's pina colada, which she continued to refill all afternoon, and while it was good, I just wasn't in the mood for it. I encouraged Bella to drink some water, and she did, finally starting to sober up just a bit. I was a little sad to see that Drunk Bella wasn't more handsy and touchy-feely with me, but I knew it was for the best. I didn't want her to say or do anything that she might regret later.

The sun was getting lower in the sky and Renee had taken E.C. into the house for something, so I decided it was the perfect time to give Bella my gift.

"Hey, I brought you something, for your birthday."

"Oh, Edward, you didn't have to do that," she said, her teeth sinking into her lip.

"I know, but it's something I wanted you to have, so I hope you like it." I reached down and picked up the gift, handing it to her. She looked at the paper for a moment, rubbing her hand across it, and then looked up at me.

"This is the first time I've ever had a birthday with you, you know?" The look in her eyes was sad, and I could see that she felt bad about all the birthday's we'd missed during our years apart.

"Yeah, well I think this will just have to be the first of many, okay?" I said, appreciating the smile she gave me before tearing into her gift. She pulled the first frame up and gasped at the image.

"Oh, Edward..." she said, her eyes filling with tears. It was the official portrait of the three of us, and we all looked so happy together. "I love this."

I smiled, glad that she seemed genuinely touched by the gift. "There's more," I said.

She reached for the other frame, lifting it and seeing the two candid shots of us walking down the aisle with E.C. between us. She smiled as her fingers traced along the images. "How did you get these?" she asked, her voice soft and shaking a little.

"My mom sent them. These are my favorites, but there's an envelope in there with all the other pictures, too. You can do whatever you want with them, but I wanted you to have them. I just thought I'd frame these ones so that you can put them up. I have some up around the house and in E.C.'s room, so I thought you might like them, too."

She nodded. "I love them."

I pointed to the frame with the two pictures in it. "I like this one," I said, my fingers lingering on the picture of me looking at her. "You look beautiful here, and see, I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

Bella nodded, reaching up to wipe a tear away from her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, leaning against me as I put my arm around her shoulders.

We sat quietly for quite a while, watching the people that remained at the party, and laughing when E.C. came out with Renee, pushing the birthday cake on a little cart. He carried his big box of special matches, and Phil helped him to light each of the torches that were set up around the perimeter of the yard. Everyone sang and Bella blew out her candles, looking at me and smiling when Renee told her to make a wish. I smiled in return, knowing what I would wish for if I was in her place.

E.C. brought me a plate of cake, and I sat with him at a small table while we ate. I could tell that he was getting worn out, and he started to yawn. The sun hadn't set just yet, but it was getting close, and I figured that come bedtime, he'd be out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

The DJ started playing some normal songs, and I noticed Bella standing off to the side of the yard by herself. Telling E.C. to go help Renee, I tossed our plates into the trash can and made my way toward Bella. A slower song has just started playing, and I walked up behind her, putting my hands on her waist and leaning my mouth into her ear. "Will you dance with me?" I asked, and was happy when I felt her hands wrap around mine.

"I thought you'd never ask."

She turned in my hands and moved her arms to my shoulders, pulling me toward her. Placing my hands on the small of her back and letting my fingers lay against the waist band of her grass skirt, I held her close to me. We swayed back and forth, her head tucked safely under my chin. There were several other couples dancing as well, though I felt like Bella and I were the only two people in the world.

After a few songs had played, E.C. came running toward us when a more upbeat song started. We danced with him, laughing when he wanted to stand on my feet in between us. He held tightly to my waist as I twirled the three of us around the dance floor. Bella was laughing, a genuine laugh, and it seemed like she was sobering up a little more. When Renee called for E.C., he ran to her and then began to throw a bit of a temper tantrum when she told him it was time to get ready for bed. Wanting to help, I took Bella's hand and we walked over to where he was.

"If you get ready for bed now, then I can tuck you in before I have to go home," I suggested. He stopped crying for a moment and looked at me, before slowly nodding.

"Okay, Daddy."

Renee took him into the house and Bella pulled me back to the dance floor for one more dance. I wanted so much to kiss her, but she kept her head against my chest, never really giving me a chance. When the song was over, she pulled away and said that she was going to start cleaning things up. I offered to help Phil, and soon enough I was scrubbing down the grill and taking trash bags out to the dumpster.

E.C. was waiting for me when I walked back into the yard, and I smiled to Bella, telling her that I'd put him to bed and be back after reading him a story or two. She quickly hugged and kissed our son before telling him good night and then making her way into the house behind us as she put her pictures away.

E.C. snuggled into his bed, and after fifteen minutes and two stories, he was fast asleep. I kissed his forehead before pulling his blanket up around him, and then turning off his light. Walking past Bella's bedroom, I couldn't help noticing one of the frames on the nightstand next to her bed. It was the two candid shots that I'd given her, and it made my heart happy to see that she'd put it there. As I turned the corner into the living room, I noticed the other frame on the mantle among several other family pictures. I smiled as I walked back out to the yard to see what else I could help with.

Bella was no where to be found, and I wondered for a moment where she'd run off to. Renee gave me a plate of vegetables and dip that needed to go into the kitchen, so I took it and hurried toward the house. The lights inside weren't turned on yet and it was rather dark as I walked in. I heard a noise coming from the kitchen, and the words mumbled after that stopped me in my tracks.

"Mmmm, I've been waiting for this all day," Bella said. In the kitchen I could see the shadow of people against the counter, and it didn't take long for me to realize it was Bella and Jake. My eyes began to adjust to the lack of light, and I saw his hands wrapped around her waist, as his lips moving lightly along her neck. Her head was tilted back, her eyes closed tight as her hands grasped onto the edge of the countertop. He made no sound, but her moans and sighs were enough to fill the space around them.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered, one of her hands moving to lie on top of his as his fingers pushed down into the waistband of her bikini bottoms. The grass skirt lay off to the side and it was obvious that he'd already removed that.

Everything seemed to happen in a rush after that. The platter I'd been holding crashed down to the floor, just as Bella muttered a "Wait, what-" at the same time Phil walked into the house and flipped on the lights in the living room, lighting up the kitchen area as well.

Bella's eyes popped open and she was suddenly staring at me, taking in the angry expression on my face. She spun around, looking up at Jake, who stood smugly behind her, refusing to let go of her. I turned to walk out of the room and get as far away from the house as I could.

"Edward, wait!" she yelled, but I kept walking. The look on Phil's face was one of sadness, and he didn't try to stop me. Renee smiled at me as I entered the yard, turning toward the gate.

"Edward, is everything okay?" she asked, worry in her voice as she watched me walk away.

"Ask Bella, I'm sure she can tell you all about what I just walked in on."

I kept my eyes focused on the street, anxious to get to my car and get away. The voice calling out behind me didn't even register until Bella was right next to me, yelling for me to wait. I was so furious and feeling like such a fool, that I couldn't stop. I didn't trust myself and what I might say to her if I did. She had led me on all night, making me think that she was really glad I was there, and that she really wanted to spend time with me. Apparently it was all just an act, and she never really wanted time with me, she just wanted to keep up appearances in front of our son.

"Edward, please wait, let me explain!" she yelled, her hands grabbing at my arm as she tried to pull me to a stop. I slowed my walk a bit and she jumped in front of me, tears streaming down her face. "Please, it's not what it looked like. Please don't go."

"Bella, I need to get away from you right now. I feel like an idiot! You totally played me all night. I just..." My hand pushed through my hair, pulling on the ends of it as I tried to move past her. Her hands were beating against my chest, trying to make me stop.

"Edward no, I thought it was you! Please! Don't go, please!" Her cries did nothing to make me hesitate, and I stepped around her, trying to get to my car. The one thought running through my head over and over was she's hiding something, she's hiding something.

"I mean, why would you be with me through the whole party if you were _with_ him, huh? How could you do that?" I needed to leave before I said something I would eventually regret, and I grabbed her wrist that was pushing on my chest, holding her off to the side as I reached around her.

Once I had the key in the door, I pulled it open and got in, without a second look toward her. She stood outside my door crying, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed and screamed at me. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned the engine over, glancing at her once to make sure she was out of the way.

When I saw that she was clear, I put the car in drive and slammed on the gas, pulling away as quickly as I could. Renee and Phil stood in front of the house as I drove past, both of them looking worried and upset.

I looked in the rear view mirror as I sped away. Bella stood alone in the street, her bare feet on the asphalt, and her hands clasped over her mouth. I saw Renee run toward her as Bella bent over, falling to her knees in the middle of the road.

My last thought as I watched her get smaller in the distance was that I hoped she didn't hurt herself on the street, and if she did, I hoped it was just as painful as what she'd done to my heart.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Oh boy...that Jacob is proving to be quite a problem, isn't he? :)**

**My wifey and I have an o/s in TheNeverEverHEAContest. There's a link on my profile. Go check it out! Read, review, and vote, see if you can guess which story we wrote. :D It's an anonymous contest, so I can't tell you which one it is or give any hints, but I will say this...it doesn't have a HEA. :D**

**How about some recs? Okay.**

_**Bound for Glory**_** by jandco & wtvoc. **_**A ridiculous tale of accidental misdemeanors, felonies, past affairs and six kids on the run from life. Not necessarily realistic, but AH anyway. **_**I LOVE this story, it's so good! It's funny and sweet and suspenseful... It's just perfection. You can find it on both ff dot net and A Different Forest, so check it out.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6525471/1/**

_**Letters to a Soldier **_**by TLCullen132. **_**What would you say to a stranger? What would you say to them if they were so close but yet so far away? One name on a sheet filled with lists of names shouts out at you, what if this was your chance at a greater destiny? Written for Cherry Bella FAGE Take2. **_**I am really enjoying this story, too. It's only 3 chapters in so far, but it's got so much potential, I can't wait to see what she's gonna do with this. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6840667/1/Letters_to_a_Soldier**

**And for something complete...**

_**Seeing Daylight **_**by Jessypt. **_**She chose him. He chose the rodeo. Can her broken heart and a broken man be mended when a chance encounter brings them back together?**_** This was wonderful. The emotion in it was SO good, I was totally hooked on this and I pimped it to all of my friends. :D It's only 11 chapters, which is heartbreaking since it's SO good and I want more, but oh...it's worth the read. Trust me.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6763930/1/Seeing_Daylight**

**I'm gonna keep doing the early chapter for one review out of every 10 reviews that this chapter gets. Please don't think I'm doing this just to boost the review count. I'm not, 'cause I don't really care how many reviews there are, I just want people to enjoy this story. :) What I DO love is getting to know more of you readers. That's so much fun to me...I love it. :D**

**So, if you review, you'll get a teaser for next time and like I said, 1 in 10 will get the chapter early. It's fun, and next chapter will be a good one to get early... Just sayin'. :D**

**One more thing... Watch your kids around water. I know you hear it all the time, or at least I do since I live in the desert where half of all houses have a swimming pool. As the temperatures increase, kids get curious. My friend's little 3 year old daughter drown in their backyard swimming pool yesterday. It's a horrible tragedy that no one should ever have to go through. Kiss your babies and don't take them for granted. I know I hugged mine a little tighter today... You just never know. :)**


	24. Chapter 24 It's Not Over

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is 4 bags of Boston Baked Beans and several handmade cards and Mother's Day gifts. Sometimes my kiddies really do like me... Now if they'd just listen to me when I ask them to do things... :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She may never be able to bring herself to eat cheesecake again, thanks to this chapter, which is a shame. Cheesecake is good.**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **_**Mrs. Robward.**_** She has a really good story going right now, _See You Again._ I'm hooked on it...it's good. Oh, and there's news about me and her in the ending A/N. It's so awesome...**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44 **_**& **_**Unchanged Affections **_**for prereading this. They're both so good...and they make me happy. Giddy, almost. :D**

**The girls that got this chapter early were:**_** FFpassion, sujari6, pamcamcris23, ArdnaidOcirg, lovingit3, lyricalbliss, angelasoto, **_**and**_** MsEm.**_** I hope they liked it. :) And thanks especially to FFpassion for her insightful thoughts on this. They were good. :)**

**Here we go... :)**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Chapter 24 – It's Not Over

_I was blown away.  
What could I say?  
It all seemed to make sense.  
You've taken away everything,  
And I can't deal with that.  
I try to see the good in life,  
But good things in life are hard to find.  
We'll blow it away, blow it away.  
Can we make this something good?  
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around._

_Let's start over.  
I'll try to do it right this time around.  
It's not over.  
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.  
This love is killing me,  
But you're the only one.  
It's not over._

"It's Not Over" by Daughtry

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The next morning I woke up early for class, eager to get my mind on something other than what I'd witnessed in the kitchen the night before. As I went about my morning routine, my mind continued to play back the things I'd seen and heard, and a little voice continued to whisper through it all, _She's hiding something. She's keeping something from you._

It made perfect sense that she would hide a relationship from me, but the one thing I couldn't figure out was why she'd been so eager to rekindle things between us in Forks. If she had a boyfriend, why would she have been willing to kiss me and spend time with me? It just didn't add up. I knew Bella wasn't a flirt or a slut, but there was something off—I could feel it.

I grabbed my books and laptop bag out of my bedroom and hurried to the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar for breakfast. My cell phone sat on the counter, where I'd left it the night before, and the little green light on it was blinking, signaling that I had messages. I figured they were from Bella, since she called twice before I'd even gotten home from the party. Not wanting to hear her voice before going to bed, I put the phone on silent and left it in the kitchen overnight so that I wouldn't be distracted by it. When I picked it up and opened the message box, there were 19 missed calls, seven voice mails, and eight text messages. All of them were from Bella, with the exception of one call and voice mail that had come from Renee. I was still feeling pretty angry about what had happened the night before, and I decided to ignore everything—I just didn't want to deal with it. I hoped that maybe after I'd had some time to cool down, I would be able to think about it, but I knew I wasn't ready yet.

The drive to campus passed by quicker than I thought it would, and soon enough I was sitting in class, taking notes on the day's lecture. I was grateful that the instructor was sometimes rather animated in his presentation style, especially since the class began so early in the day. Many of my fellow students often nodded off in class, and I had to laugh at them when they came to and realized all the information they'd missed. Since the semester was still pretty new, I didn't know any of them yet, but I hoped that I would make some friends soon. I really wanted to have someone to call in case I needed help with anything, or maybe even just a study partner.

The professor in my next class assigned a research project. I didn't have E.C. that afternoon, so I spent the rest of the day diving into my work and fleshing out a topic and thesis statement. Before going to bed, I finally decided to listen to my voice messages, curious about what Bella had said.

The first several were simply her crying, begging me to come back and let her explain. She sobbed over and over again that it wasn't what I thought, that she didn't know it was Jake. Part of me wanted to believe her, she sounded so sincere, but just as my fingers would stretch forth to dial her number, I would recall Jake's hands on her waist and I'd stop. Her calls continued until well after midnight, and her final message was simply her apologizing and thanking me for coming to her party. Then she said that she would find me since we needed to talk in person, and that she didn't blame me for ignoring her calls. That message made me sad and it took all of my strength not to call her.

The message from Renee was rather somber and straight forward.

"Edward, I don't know what happened last night, but Phil said something about Bella and Jacob in the kitchen. I don't know what you walked in on, but whatever it was, I don't think it's what you imagined. All I know is that Bella cried all night after yelling at Jake and telling him to leave." She paused, sighing before she continued. "Edward, I don't want to get in the middle of things, but I'm appealing to you as a mother to a father. I can't handle listening to my baby cry herself to sleep. It breaks my heart, and if there's any way I can fix it, I have to try. Please just talk to her, let her explain; give her a chance, Edward. Please."

Renee's words ate at my anger and as I scrolled through Bella's texts, I decided to talk to her and give her the opportunity to tell me her side of things. Each text message got sadder and more desperate, until finally the last one seemed to simply give up.

"I don't know why I'm even trying. Your mind's made up. I'm so sorry. I love you."

Falling asleep that night, I felt like maybe there was a chance that we could work things out between us. Even though I hadn't talked to her yet, I wanted to, and I hoped that maybe the next day when I dropped E.C. off, I'd get a few minutes alone with her.

Tuesday morning found me in class again, and then the lab that immediately followed it. We were working on a DNA project, and the information was interesting to me. Before I knew it, the lab was over and it was time for me to pick up E.C. from preschool.

He was excited to see me, talking animatedly about the craft project he'd done and how he told all of his friends about the big birthday party that his mom had in their backyard. We spent the afternoon playing on his play set in the backyard, and then going across the street to play with the puppies and Lory, the neighbor's daughter. Missy said it would be another week before we could bring E.C.'s new little dog home, and I mentally made a list of things I would need to remember to buy before that happened.

When I took E.C. home, Bella was at work, and I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but Phil was there, and he restated what Renee had said in her message to me. I was happy to hear a little more detail about Bella's yelling at Jake, and how she beat on his chest as she pushed him out toward his car. I tried to imagine it in my head and I hoped that she hadn't hurt herself too badly. Jake was a big guy, and if he could easily take me, I knew Bella was no match for him.

"Come by tomorrow afternoon, before she goes to work. I'll make sure she's home. You two need to talk, Edward. Just give her a break," Phil said, patting my shoulder as I turned to leave. E.C. waved from inside the house, calling out his good bye, but not willing to take his eyes off the episode of Scooby Doo that had just started.

I called Bella's phone that evening and left a message on her voice mail, telling her that I'd come by around noon, after her morning class and before my afternoon lecture. I told her that I hoped we could talk and be honest, just get everything out in the open, including whatever secret she was keeping from me, and that I was looking forward to it. Before hanging up, I apologized for leaving in such an angry way, and said that I hoped she'd forgive me for my rudeness. I really did want to clear things up with her, and I found myself praying that we would get the chance to at least try.

Wednesday morning seemed to crawl by, taking what felt like hours for mere minutes to pass. I was nervous about seeing Bella, and went over and over in my head the things I wanted to say to her, and the questions I needed answers to. I knew she was keeping something from me, and hoped that once we talked, she'd put my worries to rest. Whatever it was, I wanted it to be something small and simple, but my gut told me it most likely wasn't, otherwise she have told me about it already.

I decided to stop at a little Chinese food restaurant on the way and pick up some of the dishes I knew Bella liked. Since it was lunch time, I was guessing she might be hungry. I needed to eat before going to class myself, so it seemed like the perfect excuse for us to sit down and have some real quiet time together. When I pulled up to her house, I was a little surprised to not see her car out front. I parked on the side of the street and picked up my phone, looking to see if she'd called or texted me back, and somehow I'd missed it. There was nothing from her, therefore I decided to wait in the car since she was most likely just running a bit late. My class started at two, which left me with two hours before I had to be there.

By twenty after twelve when Bella still wasn't there, I started to worry. What if she'd changed her mind? What if she had thought about what I'd done and she was angry with me? I decided to call her and just before hitting the send button, I noticed a black car pull up in front of her house. I knew the car, having been parked behind it before, and I wasn't surprised when Jake stepped out of it, glancing over at me before slamming his door and walking toward my car. I threw the phone onto the seat and stepped out onto the pavement, leaning against my car with my arms folded across my chest.

"She's not coming," he said, a smirk on his face.

"Oh yeah? Why not?" I asked, not willing to lose eye contact with him and seem like the weaker one in our little confrontation.

"Man, don't you get it?" he asked with a laugh. "She doesn't want you. Not really, anyway. Look, she's playing you because she's scared. Plain and simple."

I cleared my throat. "Scared of what? There's nothing for her to be scared about."

Jake laughed. "Okay, Mr. Moneybags. Let's see if I can put this in simpler terms for you, alright? Bella's scared that you're gonna take E.C. away from her. Get it now?" His words cut into me, and for a moment I wondered if he might actually be telling the truth. His eyes were bright and fiery, and he looked sincere in his actions.

"Why would she think that? I love E.C., I would never want to take him from her."

Jacob shoved his hands into his pockets and shifted his weight onto his right foot as he leaned toward me a bit. "Dude, seriously. She took him from you. She never even told you that you had a son, much less where he was. Then four years later, all of the sudden she's back with him. You don't think she's freaking out that you're gonna want to do the same thing right back to her? That you're gonna take E.C. and run with him? And honestly, what judge would try to stop you? She basically kidnapped your child for four years. You have every right to want to do the same thing to her. It's called payback."

My brow furrowed as I thought about what he was saying. Was it true? Did Bella really think I was capable of doing that to her or E.C.? Jake's words played over and over in my mind and I realized that some people might describe Bella's leaving me as kidnapping, but I hadn't thought of it that way, at least not up until the words left Jacob's mouth.

"Well, even if she is thinking that, she's wrong. I wouldn't do that to her. She's a good mother; I've seen her with E.C."

Jacob snarled at me. "Yeah, she's great, right? How much time does she give you with him? What, a couple afternoons a week and every other weekend? Is that it? Don't you think that if you were really gonna be his parent, and she really wanted you around, you'd get to be with him a whole lot more? Is she even asking for child support?"

I shook my head, thinking about what he's said. "No, she doesn't want anything from me, but that's just Bella."

"Nah, it's just Bella trying to prevent there from being a paper trail. If you can prove that you're paying for E.C. and that you have money, then that along with whole kidnapping thing would give you as much access to your son as you wanted." Sadly, Jacob's comments were starting to make a lot of sense to me, and I tried to push the thought out of my head. I knew better than to trust him, but I hoped with all my heart that he was lying.

"Whatever. Look, I need to talk to Bella; do you know where she is?" I asked, hoping to cut my discussion with him short so that I could see Bella.

"Like I said, she's not coming. I'll call her when we're done here and you're gone, and then she'll come home. See," Jake said, leaning even closer to me, "she's with me now. What you saw the other night...yeah, well, you weren't supposed to see that, but after watching you rub up and down her all evening long, I couldn't stop myself. I mean come on, Edward, you've obviously hit that. She's nice, right? Can you blame me for wanting to score a little action?"

My teeth ground together as every muscle in my body tensed. "Don't talk about her like that. I don't care if you're with her or not, you shouldn't be saying things like that about Bella." My hands clenched into a fist, and immediately my brain started trying to figure ways that I could punch Jake and still get away under my own power.

"Look, I mean no disrespect, I'm just saying. You've been naked with her, I've been naked with her...it's all good. So, I need you to back off. Leave her alone and everything will be fine." Jacob stood staring at me, a serious look on his face. "Just accept the fact that she doesn't want you, that I'm the little secret she's been keeping, and be glad that she ever told you about E.C. at all. I know you think you're the one that talked her into going to your sister's wedding, but really it was me. I was the one pushing her out of bed that morning she left, and I'm the one she came home to after you screwed her over."

Jake's words stopped me cold. He was her secret? How would he know that she'd been keeping anything from me unless he was a part of it? "Why are you telling me this?" I asked, hoping he'd say something more substantial.

"Look, someone needs to say something, and obviously Bella's too scared. These are the facts: she's with me, she's afraid you're gonna take E.C. away from her, and she doesn't need you or your money. Leave it alone and no one gets hurt, alright?"

"Or what? What if I don't?" Rage began to build in me, quickly coming to a rapid boil the longer I listened to Jake talk about my family. "What if I want Bella? What if I want E.C. with me more often? What if I fear for his safety when he's around people his mother seems trust? That she seems to think are capable of keeping their tempers and threats under control while they're in his presence? What if I want him living under my roof from now on? What about all that?"

The smirk quickly dropped from Jake's face and he took a few steps backward and away from me. "Don't push me, Edward. I told you before; you're on my turf now, pretty boy. This isn't the college you ruled while you were QB-ing it up on the football field, and while there are lots of smokin' little hotties for you to bang, they won't be falling all over you like before. You need to accept the fact that you're not some great catch anymore, Cullen. Once Bella found out what a little whore you'd become, she quit waiting for you. Lucky me, I was the one there to catch her, and I'm not letting go without a fight. And trust me...you do not want to fight with me."

I took a few calming breaths before pushing off from my car, stepping closer to Jake. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"She's mine, I already told you."

A humorless laugh bubbled out of my chest and I fumed at his cockiness. "Fine. You want her? You can have her. I'm done with all these lies, anyway. If she's that eager to get rid of me, I'll make it real easy." I turned around and reached for my door, opening it and sliding into the seat. "You can call her now and tell her it's safe to come home. Oh, and tell her I really appreciated her sending you to do her dirty work. Very classy."

Starting up my car, I pulled away from the street, glancing over just in time to see Bella stepping out of her car and watching me. Her eyes darted back and forth between me and Jacob, who had returned to his car. She waved her arm at me, calling out my name, but I kept driving, leaving her on the side of the road, much like I had only a few nights before. The one thing I did notice about her were the shorts she was wearing and the scabs on her knees. It looked like she had hurt herself after I left the party, and in some sick, twisted way, that made me feel a little better—like maybe we were both hurting.

My curiosity got the best of me, and I looked in my rear view mirror just in time to see her rushing toward Jacob. Not wanting to witness what would happen once she got to him, I looked away and focused on the road, driving as fast as I could to get to campus. Things were finally over between Bella and me and I needed a serious distraction.

After my class got out, my mood had gone from angry to simply resigned. Obviously Bella didn't really want me, regardless of what she might have told me in the past month. Jacob knew about her keeping something from me, so as much as I didn't want to believe him, I had to be honest with myself. How else would he have known unless he was in on it? He had to be telling the truth, and the idea of that made me sick to my stomach. I had dumped the Chinese food in the first trash can I saw when I walked onto campus, and as I walked past the student center, I realized I was starving. My stomach grumbled so loudly that I was afraid someone walking past me would hear. The thought of going home to an empty house was not appealing, so I hurried into the building and waited in the shortest line I saw.

I carried my tray to the only open table I could find, not really even sure what I'd bought to eat. Once I settled into my seat, I saw that it was a chicken salad and a chili dog. I didn't particularly enjoy either of those things, but I was hungry and I couldn't muster up the effort to care what I ate. After scarfing down the chili dog and then drinking half of the soda I'd gotten, I started on the salad. I noticed a figure standing next to my chair, and without looking up, I saw the long brown hair and withdrawn stance of a girl. Immediately I thought it was Bella, and I froze, cautiously looking up to see her face. I didn't know her, though it seemed like maybe I'd seen her somewhere. Or maybe it was just that she reminded me so much of Bella.

"You look sad," she said, standing there holding a tray of her own. I glanced back down to my salad and continued eating, taking another bite as I ignored her. She nervously shifted her weight onto her right foot, leaning away from me a bit.

"Um, would you mind if I shared your table with you?"

Her words caused me to stop mid bite, again, and look back up at her. The scowl on my face must have surprised her a little, and she quickly stumbled her way through another sentence.

"There just aren't any other tables, and I don't know anyone here. I just want to sit down and eat. Please? I'll sit on the other side and I promise not to bother you."

I chewed my mouthful of food a few times before finally nodding and moving my fork back to my plate. She quietly sat down on the other side of the table and started eating her hamburger. For the next several minutes we were silent, and then I realized that she looked familiar, though I didn't know why. Well, other then the fact that she could easily have passed for Bella's sister, since she had the same brown hair and brown eyes that Bella did. Her complexion was just a shade or two darker, but other than that that, she looked like Bella. The build of their bodies was the same, though Bella had a few more curves than this girl did. I knew that those were a result of her giving birth to our son, and the more I had seen her with them, the more I loved them. The way her hips felt under my fingers was intoxicating, and just the thought of her heavy breasts in my hands had me growing hard.

Stopping myself before I let things get out of hand, I spoke to the girl sitting across from me.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked.

She looked up, surprise clear on her face. "Um, yeah. We have a few classes together. We're both in the med program here. I sat a few rows behind you today, and we have a class together on Tuesday's and Thursday's, and another one Monday mornings."

"Oh, I thought you looked familiar." She smiled, and as I looked at her more, I realized she was quite pretty, though not nearly as breathtaking as Bella was.

"I'm Angela. Weber. Angela Weber," she said, nervousness clear in her voice.

"I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you, Angela."

"Likewise. Thanks for letting me sit at your table. I don't know anyone, I'm not from here. Are you?"

"No, I'm not from here, and I don't know anyone either," I said, taking another bite of my salad.

"Oh, where are you from?" she asked. I debated for a moment whether or not I should answer her, but the feeling I got from her was one of kindness. It didn't seem like she had only one thing on her mind, like so many other girls I'd gone to school with in Washington did. Angela seemed genuinely interested in finding out about me, not just finding out how I good could make her feel, and how many times I could make her come.

I cleared my throat. "I'm from Washington State. I grew up there and went to school at the University of Washington."

Angela's eyes widened. "Wow, that's a long way to come for school," she said.

"Oh, well it wasn't just the long distance that made me come here."

"Oh right, the warmer weather, I get it. I'm from Colorado, so I wanted warm temperatures, too," she said as she laughed a little.

"No, I have some family here, so I came for them. The weather didn't really play any part in my decision."

"Well, not me. As soon as I graduated from high school, I high tailed it to Arizona State University. It was so warm there, I loved it. I felt like a lizard, I'd just sit outside and soak up as much sun as I could." She smiled a bright smile and giggled a bit. I liked the sound of it, and for the first time in weeks, I felt the urge to laugh along with someone other than E.C.

"I get the warm weather thing. It's quite a change for me, too, going from cold and rainy to hot and sunny. But why did you come here for med school? Isn't Arizona just as warm as Miami?" I asked.

"Oh, well it's basically the same, except Arizona is hotter and here I feel like I'm swimming in soup, it's so humid. And there are hurricanes. They don't have those in Arizona. And the weather's dry there, which is nice. You just feel like you'll burn up into ash instead of melt, which is how I feel here." Her voice was level and even as she spoke. She seemed a little shy, but still pretty talkative, which I found interesting.

"So, Arizona sounds a whole lot better than here. Why the switch?" I asked.

"I had to get away from some ex-boyfriend drama." Then she was silent, for several seconds. She solemnly dropped that statement, and then went back to eating her lunch, offering me nothing else in the way of an explanation.

My curiosity got the best of me. "Okay, that doesn't sound good. Was he like a stalker or something? Crazy from all that heat, or what?"

She took a deep breath, then looked up at me. "No, nothing like that. See, I was with this guy, Ben. We were together for a few years in college. He was my first real boyfriend, and he was really wonderful. He was a good boyfriend to me. He never looked at other girls, he was caring and attentive, and he always did little things for me. Sometimes I thought that he could read my mind, he always seemed to know just what I was thinking. It was great." She nodded her head, but there was no smile on her face.

"He sounds nice, what happened?" I asked, growing more curious by the second.

"His blonde lab partner is what happened."

I smiled sadly at her. "Yeah, those late night study sessions can sometimes have that effect on a relationship."

"Yeah, I thought it was okay, you know? I trusted him; he'd never given me any reason to not believe him. I never for one second dreamed I'd have to worry about anything when he told me that he was studying with Eric."

"Wait, what?" I laughed, trying my hardest to hold back the full laugh that was growing in my gut.

Angela smiled. "Yeah, I thought it was safe if he was studying with another guy. I guess not." She started to laugh along with me. "Crazy, huh?"

"Um, yeah. Wow, so you had no warning at all?" I asked, unsure how she could have dated the guy for years and never picked up on the fact that he was gay.

"Nope. He swears that he didn't either, that he never thought about it until Eric came along, but I don't know. He really liked to shop," she said with a straight face before pushing another French fry into her mouth.

I laughed harder than I had before, setting my fork down on the plate and giving Angela my full attention. "He'd love my sister, then. So what did you do?"

Her smile brightened. "Well, I thought they were studying, and it was really late one evening, so I decided to take them a treat, for a little study break. I picked up some cheesecake and took it over to Ben's apartment. When I walked in I realized that when he told me they'd be experimenting with probing orifices, he was talking about each others."

I forced a cough in an effort to cover the laugh that escaped me. "Whoa, that must have been an interesting image to walk in on," I said, curious about her thoughts on what she must have seen.

"Yeah, well my friends teased me later about all the beefcake my eyes must have feasted on. All I remember seeing was the cheesecake they both ended up wearing. It was really sad...that was a good cheesecake."

I laughed harder than I had in months, and I didn't even try to hold myself back. Angela started laughing too, and I realized how much I liked her. The connection between us was immediate, and whether or not anything other than friendship would come of it, I wasn't sure, but I liked her.

I was happy that I finally had someone I could talk to and feel relaxed with, and I was anxious to get to know this girl more. Maybe the ease of being with her was simply because she reminded me so much of Bella, but I had a feeling it was more than that. She seemed to be a genuine person; nice with no hidden agenda. I wanted someone I could be myself with, and I let out a sigh at the realization that maybe I'd finally found that person—someone who could truly be my friend.

**BPOV**

As Edward sped away from my house, I looked at Jacob, nervous about the smirk on his face. Once I knew Edward wasn't stopping to talk to me, I ran toward Jake, determined to find out what had happened between them. I hadn't spoken to Edward in days, not since the night of my party, and I was shocked to see his car at my house when I got home from class. I'd texted and called so many times that I lost count, but he wouldn't call me back. I only wanted to apologize and explain what had happened that night. He needed to know that it wasn't what he thought it was.

I'd never been much of a drinker, but once I was 21, my mom insisted on celebrating properly, as she put it. The day of the party started with breakfast pina coladas, and she never stopped making them. By the time the party started, I was well past tipsy, and on my way to drunk. I'd never really been drunk before, and the alcohol hit me hard. The whole party had been fun, and I loved the pictures Edward gave me. They were so thoughtful and beautiful, and I knew it was just like him to want me to have them. I couldn't wait to put them up, and so I did as soon as I took them into the house.

I ended up in the kitchen, putting food away, when I felt two hands on my waist and someone kissing my neck. My brain was pretty fuzzy and I knew my senses weren't reacting like they normally would have, but once the fingers undid the tie to my grass skirt and started to glide along my skin, I knew it had to be Edward. I'd dreamed of him holding me that way, the same way he'd done when he asked me to dance earlier, and I relaxed as his lips pressed softly along my neck. I'd even moaned his name once, only to feel the body behind me stiffen a bit before growing bolder and sliding fingers under the waistband of my bikini bottoms.

I was just about to turn around when the lights were flicked on, and I turned my head toward a person standing in the doorway. Confusion overwhelmed me when I saw Edward, and I wondered how he could be standing that far away when he was right behind me. As I turned a little more, I saw the dark skin of the man behind me, and instantly I knew it was Jacob.

The air rushed out of my lungs, and I tried to yell for Edward as he turned and rushed to the back door, but no sound came out. It took a while for me to be able to move, and when I did, I shoved Jacob away from me, angry at the smirk on his face.

I ran after Edward, not caring that I had no shoes on. All that mattered to me was that I catch him. He didn't stop and refused to let me explain, and I found myself sobbing and begging him. I hated myself for what I'd done to him in Forks—how I'd acted since he'd been in Miami—but watching him walk away from me had woken me up. I'd been existing in a haze over the past few weeks, taking for granted that Edward would always be there, wanting me and needing me. I realized that wasn't the case, and that I'd pushed him away. I'd hurt him, and the guilt I felt was crippling. I ached for him to simply listen, to hear my side.

As I knelt, sobbing in the street, he drove away from me, and my mom picked me up, helping me into the house. Jacob was still there in the kitchen, offering to help wash dishes, like nothing had happened. I was so furious with him, that I walked right up to him and started punching him as hard as I could.

My actions certainly didn't hurt him at all, but for me, my fingers and wrists ached all weekend. Phil asked him to leave and I followed him to his car, making sure he did, and I went to my room, grabbing my phone and calling Edward over and over again. I texted several times, too, but he never answered any of my pleas.

Eventually I cried myself to sleep, only to wake Monday morning with a horrible headache. I spent most of the day crying and trying to get a hold of Edward. I almost went to his house, since he'd given me the gate code, but I was afraid to see him. Instead I waited for him to come around, knowing that even if I did see him, unless he was ready, we wouldn't get anything worked out.

"Jake, what's going on?" I yelled at him, as I ran toward his car.

"Nothing, Edward and I just had a little discussion, that's all." He was smug and I wanted to punch him again, but this time I wanted to aim a little lower than his stomach.

"What was he doing here? What did he say?

Jacob was quiet for a minute, then let out a long sigh. "He said to tell you he's done, Bella. He said he didn't want to see you or talk to you, but for me to tell you that it's over between you two."

My mouth hung open in shock. "Over?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"I told him to leave before you got back; I wanted to save you the pain of having to hear him say it, Bella. He said he can't trust you and that there's someone else."

_Someone else? Who?_ Last I knew, Edward wasn't seeing anyone, instead just waiting for me to get over the anger I'd been feeling. How could he have found someone so quickly? It had only been a few days. That's when I remembered the man whore he'd been in college, and my stomach dropped.

"Tell me everything he said, and everything that you said, too." I wanted to judge for myself why Edward had hurried away from my house. Jacob rattled off some story about him pulling up to my house just as Edward pulled up, too. When Edward asked if I was home, Jacob told him I was in class, but I'd be home soon, if Edward wanted to wait. That's when Edward told Jake to give me his message.

Something didn't seem right, but my head was spinning so fast, and my heart was pounding so hard, that I couldn't figure it out. Was Jake telling the truth? Why would he lie to me? He'd always been my friend, and I had no reason to doubt his honesty, so what could he possibly gain from telling me something that wasn't true? His actions after the party played back through my mind, and as I looked at him, I decided there was more to the story, and he just wasn't telling me everything.

"I don't believe you. There's no way Edward's seeing someone else, Jake. He's been waiting for me, so I know that's a lie. Why are you doing this to me? You know how much he means to me."

Jacob smiled a sad smile. "I'm not lying, Bella. I'm just telling you what happened, what he said. I don't want to see you hurt, is all. I'm trying to help." He stepped forward, reaching out to rub his hand along my arm.

Over and over again, my mind replayed all the things that Edward had said to me, all the tenderness he'd shown me, and the way he made me feel each time he held me, or even looked at me. There was something more to this; I just felt it in my bones. We weren't done, we would never be done.

"I don't know why, Jake, but I don't believe you. I can't trust you anymore, especially not after what you did. I know you're keeping something from me, and I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna find out. Go home and don't come back."

"Bella, wait-" he called out to me as I jogged back to my car. I had to get to the school campus and find Edward. I needed to straighten things out and make him see the truth, before he did something we'd both regret.

My phone buzzed a few minutes later, and I looked at it as I drove towards the university. It was Jake calling, and I hit the ignore button, not wanting to talk to him. As I sat at a red light, I wondered if Edward had ever called me back and something from work the day before struck me.

I'd been working the register all afternoon and when it came time for me to go home that evening, I went to my locker to get my things. I wanted to check my phone, to see if Edward had called, and when I pulled my purse from the little shelf, my phone wasn't there. I searched around in the small space where I always stored my things, but couldn't find it. I rarely locked the locker, especially when it was just Jake and I working. I had always thought I could trust him, so there was no problem. As I looked around the work room, I finally found it on the counter next to the sink. I was pretty sure I hadn't left it there, and when I picked it up, it was opened to the voice mail menu. Had I accidentally set it there during my break? I'd been checking non stop for messages from Edward, but there was never anything from him. There were no new messages, so I clicked over to the text message menu. Again, nothing new. Just by chance, I checked the calls received, and my heart soared when I saw Edward's number. He'd called earlier in the evening, but I hadn't heard it since I was working the counter area. I wondered why he hadn't left a message, but was happy that at least he had tried to call.

That memory made me curious. What if I hadn't left my phone on the counter by mistake? I wasn't usually so scatterbrained about things like that, though my mind had been pretty confused over the past few days.

As I pulled into a campus parking lot, I put the thoughts out of my head and found a parking spot. I wasn't sure where Edward's class was, so after wandering around for a bit, looking for the medical department, I finally decided to go to the preschool, since I knew they had Edward's class schedule on file.

It took a few minutes of begging, but finally the preschool secretary told me what class Edward was in. I ran across campus to the building, quickly finding the room once I was there. My heart sank when I looked through the door window and saw that the classroom was empty. Just as I turned to go back to my car, the classroom door opened and a professor walked out.

"Can I help you?" he asked, obviously taking in my distressed appearance.

"Um, I'm looking for someone, a student. Edward Cullen is his name. He has brown, kinda reddish hair. He was in this class a little while ago."

"Ah yes, Mr. Cullen. He's gone, but you might try the student center just down the way. Quite a few students go there after class to eat. I've seen him there a time or two."

The student center. It was a shot in the dark, but one I'd happily take. "Thank you so much!" I said, before turning and hurrying out of the building.

The center was easy to find, and as I walked in, I was overwhelmed by how many people were there eating. The large dining area was swarmed with students, every table filled, and I looked around for several seconds before finally spotting a familiar head of messy bronze colored hair. I smiled when I saw him, and then noticed that he wasn't alone at his table. Sitting across from him was a gorgeous girl, and as if that wasn't bad enough, they were talking and laughing together. It wasn't just his fake, flirtations laugh, it was a real Edward laugh, and he was smiling at her.

As I watched them, frozen to the spot where I stood, I realized that he was giving her the same smile and laugh that he had only ever given to me. I knew those laughs, those smiles—they belonged to me.

Looking closer at them, I noticed things about the girl. Her hair was the same color as mine. Her eyes were dark like mine. Her skin was a little more tanned than mine, but still pretty similar. She looked like me, so much so that it scared me a little. The only difference between us seemed to be that she radiated beauty and strength, while an air of confidence and kindness lingered around her. She was the kind of girl that Edward belonged with. Had Jake been telling me the truth? Was Edward really moving on? And what did it mean that the girl he was with looked so much like me? He had found someone else, only she wasn't really someone different; she was just another version of me. He was replacing me.

Edward told me that every other girl he'd been with while we were apart was different than me, that he was never able to be with someone who looked like me because it reminded him of what we'd had. That's how he kept himself from falling for any of them, but this girl...she was me—only better.

My world screeched to a halt; he was moving on with another version of me, but she wasn't me. He wanted someone like me, just not me.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: You wanna shoot me now, don't you? :) Like I said, angst is coming. It'll be here for a little while. It will eventually go away. Trust.**

**And there's a picture of this story's Angela on my fanfic blog, so check that out. It's not the girl from the movies...it's someone who I think is even prettier. :) She'd look good with Edward...just sayin'. :D**

**Now that you're good and worked up, how about some recs that might make you happier? :D**

_**Our Yellow House **_**by CaraNo - **_**Joined at the hip since kindergarten, Edward and Bella shared it all, and at the age of 22, they were happily married, expecting their first child. But when Bella was 4 months pregnant, she was kidnapped. That was 3 years ago - HEA? Yes, I promise.**_ ** Oh golly...this is so good! I'm complete addicted to it. I can't wait to see what's gonna happen!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6945394/1/Our_Yellow_House**

_**The Journal**_** by MsEm - **_**His wife's journal. He shouldn't read it, but he can't help himself. My entries I entered into the Quickie Contest, EXTENDED. **_**This one is so good. It's realistic and truthful. It's honest and it hurts. I could not possibly love it more, I ache for new chapters of this. Ugh...it's so good. :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6889509/1/**

**And something complete...**

_**The Cannabean Betrothal**_** by ItzMegan73 - **_**Edward has immersed himself in the Cannabean way to ward off the hurt of a life-changing experience; but an unexpected betrothal teaches him how little he knows about life. There is no abuse in this story.**_** I know I rec'd this in an earlier chapter, but now it's complete and it's SOOOO good. ItzMegan73 is one of my very favorite authors because she keeps her storylines realistic. She creates incredible characters and makes them lovable and flawed. Everything doesn't always go perfectly in their lives, and that's okay. Because of the subject matter (religion) this story has scared some people away, or at least that's what I've heard. Don't be scared. It's about so much more than just what church these characters belong to. It's really a beautiful story, and I can't wait to get five free minutes so that I can read it again! :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5354724/1/The_Cannabean_Betrothal**

**As always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early, and everyone that reviews will get a teaser. Hopefully ff dot net will get their crap straightened out and let me reply the right way. If not, I'll have to do it through the message system on ff dot net, so make sure your messages are turned on so that I can send it to you. :)**

**My wifey and I wrote a super angsty o/s called _exhaust._ It was for TheNeverEverHEAContest. It's on my profile. If you feel like crying and screaming at me, go read it. :D Oh, and by the way...WE WON FIRST PLACE in the public vote, as well as a couple of judges awards! Thanks SOOOO much to everyone that voted for us. We were SO excited...I can't even tell you. It was amazing, and completely shocking for us, so thank you. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Now, leave me some love...if you have any left for me after this chapter, that is. :D Oh, and did I mention that uberbeta wants to punch my characters? :D Yeah...she pretty much hates them. :D Poor girl... :D**


	25. Chapter 25 Are You Happy Now?

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own are about 1500 1/2" x 6" strips of paper that I spent all afternoon cutting with my pretty paper cutter that's left over from my old scrap booking days. My thumb is mad at me... :D**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She is speedy, let me tell you. She also reminded me that this isn't the first story to mention possible power outages. You read **_**MIFFY**_**? You should... She wrote it, and it's good. I still need to review the last few chapters. I'm so fail...**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **_**Mrs. Robward.**_** She knows how I feel about her...**

**Thanks to **_**Twilight44,**__**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore **_**for prereading this. They had lots of great ideas and caught lots of my mistakes. I'd be afraid to do this without them. :)**

**The girls that got this chapter early were:**_** Kgunter34, ASWIFT, crackupmonkey, viltsuuh, symphiann, edwardandbellabelong2gether, 1sparklygirl, & Agrutle.**_

**I pick totally at random each week, so just 'cause you get it once doesn't mean you can't get it again. :) Also, since ff dot net is being mean about review replies, I can't write you back and send a teaser if you don't have your PM's turned on. Just a thought...**

**Since so many people were angry about last chapter and the apparent lack of progress, I've revamped the outline for the rest of the story. I've combined a few chapters, taken out some happier stuff, and I'll try to be a little less wordy. The result will be 36 chapters and an epi, so I hope that's good.**

**Let's go! Edward's finally starting to feel some of the resentment he's been holding back for the last 2 months. I hope you're ready...**

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o **

WHTM Ch 25 – Are You Happy Now?

_You took all there was to take,  
And left me with an empty plate  
And you don't care about it.  
And I am givin' up this game  
I'm leaving you with all the blame 'cause I don't care._

_Could you look me in the eye?  
And tell me that you're happy now.  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
Are you happy now?_

Do you really have everything you want?  
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got.  
You can't run away from yourself.

"Are You Happy Now?" by Michelle Branch

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Over the next few days, I stewed. Aside from spending time with E.C., all I did was dwell on how angry I was at Bella, and the fact that she'd lied to me. Whether what Jacob told me was true or not, I was furious about it. I didn't want to believe him, especially after the stunt he'd pulled at Bella's birthday party, but he knew about her keeping something from me. I couldn't get past that fact.

The other thing that really bothered me was that he was still around. Why wasn't she upset with him for what he'd done to her in her kitchen? If that was something that wasn't supposed to happen, then why was he still there? Was she really so desperate for friends that she would allow him to keep hanging around, and even let him be in the same house as our son?

My poor mood festered and soon defiled all the happy and good feelings I had about Bella. Once I had embraced what I considered to be her betrayal, my mind started to wander back four years and I became consumed with the way she'd left me. She had taken my son away from me, denying me the opportunity of knowing him during his first few years of life. She had stolen my rights as his father—not even naming me on his birth certificate—and she never gave me a chance to hold his tiny, infant body. She never let me spend the night rocking him when he was colicky and Bella didn't allow me to share in his first smiles, first steps or first words. My heart and soul felt robbed of all those treasures, and no matter how much she apologized or cried, it would never be enough. She lied to me, she stole from me, and she completely disregarded me. In my mind, I was beginning to hate her, even though my heart was desperately fighting against it. Unfortunately, my head was winning the battle.

Renee tried to speak with me when I dropped E.C. off at Bella's house Thursday night, but I couldn't risk Bella coming home. I told Renee that I was in a hurry because I couldn't be there, in that house. I didn't want to see Bella, talk to her, or even just hear her voice. I felt bad about lying to Renee, but I needed a break; otherwise I knew I was going to explode.

Friday I picked E.C. up from preschool, excited about our weekend together. My mom and Alice were going to be flying in on Monday, so he wanted to color pictures for them and make a welcome sign. I figured maybe Renee had filled him with all those little "craft" ideas as a way to get back at me, because the temper tantrum he threw when I explained that I didn't have markers, glitter, or fun foam (whatever the heck that was) was epic and lasted a full two hours. He was so exhausted afterward that he barely even touched the macaroni and cheese that I made for dinner. He fell asleep before I mentioned bedtime, and as I tucked him into his bed, I wondered if he'd last the whole night there, or if I should leave a nightlight on so that he could find his way to my room.

I finally decided to leave his door open and turn on the light in my bedroom. Sitting on my bed with my laptop, I decided to take advantage of the quiet time to research some facts for a class assignment. I was logged into the class blackboard page and suddenly a little screen popped up on the side.

_Puddle: __Hey Edward, you busy?_

I looked at it for several moments, but wasn't sure who it was from.

I knew it had to be someone from that class, but I didn't know anyone, aside from the Angela girl I'd met in the student center a few days earlier. In Thursday's class I didn't talk to her, simply waving and smiling instead, but I was in too foul a mood to speak to anyone.

The name in the top corner was Puddle, and that didn't give me any clues about who the person was, much less if they were even male or female. I decided to take my chances and see if I could figure out who it was, and what they wanted.

_PocketPlayer: Just googling stuff. How about you?_

_Puddle: Me too. So many stats we have to report, it sucks._

_PocketPlayer: Yeah, I know. So, what's with the nickname? Puddle? What does that mean? _

I was hopeful that by asking about their nickname, it would get who ever the person was talking. That way I could figure it out and decide how much time I wanted to spend on line with them.

_Puddle: Yeah, it's pretty much what I am here in Miami._

_PocketPlayer: You're a puddle? A puddle of what?_

_Puddle: Water, what else? I guess I should elaborate, huh?_

_PocketPlayer: That would be nice of you._

There was a short pause before the messenger started to type again.

_Puddle: I suppose we can't all be as obvious as you, right PocketPlayer? :D_

I'd taken great pride in selecting my nickname for the class, hoping that no one would bother me if I had something that didn't really say who I was. Instead, I went for something from my football days, and up until now, no one had bugged me. I was quickly starting to get a little annoyed at this unwelcome intruder, and I decided that if they didn't tell me who they were in the next minute, I was going to log off. If anyone ever asked me, I'd just blame a power outage. That could totally happen...

_PocketPlayer: Yeah, I guess not, although not everyone would get the meaning of Pocket Player._

_Puddle: I suppose that's true. Anyway, Puddle... Let's just say that I used to be a delicate snow angel; sweet, fluffy and white. Then the sun met me, like it did here, and now I'm all melted and just a puddle for kids to splash in._

_PocketPlayer: So you came from somewhere with snow and now that you're here, you're melted... Angela? _

I cautiously asked. I figured if I got it wrong, I'd just explain it with a little laugh and say that I was horrible at guessing games.

_Puddle: You got it! You remember me from lunch? I wasn't sure, since you didn't seem too chatty yesterday in class. _

I smiled, glad to have figured out the mystery messager.

_PocketPlayer: Yeah, it was a bad day. So did you need something? I was just finishing up, gonna head to bed._

I waited for a minute, noticing that it took several seconds before she began to type her response.

_Puddle: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to keep you. I was just gonna say if you were studying, then maybe you'd wanna join our group chat we've got going here. We've been helping each other with documentation and stuff. But if you were just leaving..._

The idea that it wasn't just Angela was somewhat comforting to me since I didn't really know her. Being that my relationship with Bella was kind of up in the air, I didn't want to give Angela any wrong ideas. I listened for a moment, realizing how quiet the house was, and that I hadn't heard a peep out of E.C. since I'd put him in his bed. I thought it might be best to bust my hump right then and get as much of the project out of the way as I could, especially if there were others that could help me out with some of it.

_PocketPlayer: Well, I guess I can stay a little longer, finish up a few things. Who's in this group with you? _

I asked, fully realizing that I wouldn't actually know any of the people from our class.

_Puddle: Oh, there's me and Carmen, and then Peter and Randall, too. You know any of them?_

_PocketPlayer: No, you're the only one I've met from class._

_Puddle: Cool, well I'm sending you the chat link, so hurry up, we wanna get this crap done._

I laughed at her words and then clicked the link to join into the chat. Reading through several of their past posts, I chuckled a few times at the blatant flirting Peter and Randall seemed to be doing. I figured out which man was which username because they were pretty obvious – Peter Pumpkin Eater and Randall Pink Floyd. I already knew Angela was Puddle, so that meant that Carmen had to be Marilyn Monroe's Lovechild. That name made me curious, and I hoped that sometime I'd get the chance to ask her about it.

The study session lasted a couple of hours, and I really liked the other people in the group. They all seemed to be pretty focused and responsible, and we each managed to finish our assignment. I was glad since it meant that I would have the rest of the weekend with E.C. and I wouldn't have to do any more work.

_Peter Pumpkin Eater: So we're all going out tomorrow night. You in, Edward?_

_PocketPlayer: Oh, no I can't. Sorry. _

I didn't know how much more I should reveal about myself, so I left it at that and hoped that no one else asked.

_Randall Pink Floyd: Ah, come on Player! I got the booze and Pete's got pizzas; it'll be fun. We're just hanging at Carmen's pool house, you gotta be there. Tomorrow night at seven. _

Randall was insistent, but I held firm.

_PocketPlayer: No, I'm really sorry, I can't. Maybe some other time, though. It sounds like fun._

_Marilyn Monroe's Lovechild: Oh, come on, man. You got a girl or something? You supposed to spend time with someone? You can bring her, it's cool._

_PocketPlayer: No, I can't bring him. _

I hit send before realizing what I'd written. Suddenly I wondered if my classmates would think I was gay because of what I'd said. I couldn't decide if it would be easier to have them thinking that, or to tell them I was a single father with a preschool aged son. Most likely, none of them really knew much about kids, since from the way they'd talked so far, it seemed clear none of them had any children. Sexual orientation would probably be an easier subject for them to grasp, and when the next comment appeared in the message box, I knew I was right.

Of course Angela would be the one to say it.

_Puddle: Oh really? Him, huh? Will it help if I bring cheesecake?_

The rest of the group LOL'd and made laughing faces. I decided to just tell the truth and get it over with.

_PocketPlayer: No, nothing like that. I have my son this weekend, so I'm home until Sunday night._

None of them said anything for over a minute.

_Randall Pink Floyd: That's cool, man. How old is he? I mean, I don't think Carmen has any toys at the pool house, but he could swim, if you want._

_Marilyn Monroe's Lovechild: Yeah sure, totally. I have nieces and nephews so there's pool toys he could use._

_PocketPlayer: Thanks guys, but we're still kinda getting to know each other. He's three, almost four, and I didn't even know about him until a couple of months ago._

_Peter Pumpkin Eater: No way!_

_Puddle: How is that possible?_

_PocketPlayer: Well, his mom is my high school sweetheart and when she got pregnant, she left so that I could go to college on a scholarship and play football. She hid him so that I wouldn't lose all of that. _

Once again, my heart and mind were battling over how I was supposed to feel about that. In a sense, I was grateful, and I saw Bella's point in why she did what she did. But I missed out on spending time with my own child, and that was something I could never get back.

_Randall Pink Floyd: Dude, that's messed up._

_PocketPlayer: Yeah, tell me about it. Even worse, my younger sister knew the whole time and never told me. _

I felt the anger building up inside of me again, and I fought back the desire to hit something.

_Marilyn Monroe's Lovechild: Wow, sorry Edward. What do you think of your son? What's he like?_

_PocketPlayer: He's great. He's funny and smart, athletic and creative. He makes me laugh, he's really amazing._

_Puddle: That's really nice, Edward._

_Randall Pink Floyd: Okay, so Player's got his kid, the rest of us are still partying at Carmen's. Play, if you wanna show up for some swimming, feel free. Maybe we can plan a get together for next week. What do you all think?_

_PocketPlayer: Um, my mom and sister are flying into town Monday, but I won't have E.C. next weekend, and I'll may need a break from my mom and sister by that point._

Everyone agreed, and we all promised to sit near each other in class Monday morning, so that we could divvy up note taking assignments. I had to admit; it would be really nice not to have to get every single word the professor said in lecture. The classmates I'd met all seemed really great, and I was happy that I'd finally made a few friends.

E.C. was up at the butt crack of dawn the next day, anxious to make breakfast so that he could play on his play set in the backyard. After heating up some Eggo's in the toaster, I helped him get dressed and then sat him in front of the television in my bedroom while I took a quick shower. I'd learned my lesson before, about leaving him unsupervised, so the bathroom door stayed open, and I listened as he sang along to the cartoon he was watching.

We played for an hour or so and then I asked him if he'd like to go over and see his puppy. He hurried to put his tennis shoes on and we walked across the street to Missy's house. As soon as we were in her backyard with the dogs, E.C. noticed that one of the puppies wasn't there.

"Well, we sold one of them. It's time for the puppies to go to their own houses," Missy said, looking excitedly at E.C. My son began to bounce up and down.

"We takes my puppy t'day, Daddy? Can we, can we? Pweeze?" he asked, his big brown eyes shining with joy. I smiled and nodded back at him.

"Okay, but we gotta get her leash so we can walk her home."

E.C. and I hurried back to my house and got the pink leash and collar we'd picked out for her at the pet store. E.C. wanted the collar with rhinestones on it, since his puppy was a girl and he just knew she would love it. As I fastened the collar around her neck minutes later, E.C. couldn't keep his hands off of her, petting her, stroking her fur, and kissing her all over her little head. In return, she licked at his cheeks, which made him laugh and giggle.

I paid Missy for the puppy and we walked back to our house. When we got to the street, I reminded E.C. that he only crossed when he was with his mom or me, and that he had to always look both ways. He was a nervous ball of energy, and I knew he only nodded and agreed so that we could get home faster. The little puppy sniffed everything along the way, pulling her leash in different directions and making us go that much slower.

"Come on, Say-yee!" E.C. called out to her, as he ran for the front door.

"Say-yee?" I asked him, wondering what he was calling the puppy.

"Yeah, Say-yee. Dat's her name, Daddy. Say-yee."

"You mean Sadie?" I said, trying to clarify exactly what he meant.

"Yep, Say-yee. Can I shows her my room, Daddy?"

"Sure thing, buddy," I said with a smile as we walked into the house. I loved seeing E.C. so happy and excited about his new pet. I needed to remember to explain to him how important it was to be gentle and soft with her, but for now, we were just enjoying her.

"Come on, Say-yee! I'ma show you my bedroom. You gots a bed in der so you can seep by me," he said, opening his door and pointing straight to the little dog bed by his nightstand. Sadie sniffed around the room, her furry little tail wagging in excitement. E.C. continued to point out all of his toys, telling her all the good things about them and why he loved to play with them.

After a little while, Sadie was ready to see the rest of the house, so I unhooked her leash and let her wander. The floors throughout the house were hardwood, so I figured that would help a little with house breaking her. Missy said the puppies were pretty much already house broken, but I knew there would be a few accidents here and there until Sadie got a little older and became more comfortable with us, as well as used to a routine.

"Come on, Say-yee!" E.C. yelled as he led her to the back door. I had installed an extension to the sliding patio door so there was a doggie door for her. I tried to contain my laughter as E.C. squeezed his little body through the door, trying to show Sadie how to do it. She hopped up and through the opening, and soon the two of them were chasing each other around the backyard. When E.C. climbed onto the play set, Sadie began sniffing the rest of the yard, just familiarizing herself with everything. She was a cute little dog, and had yet to even bark. I hoped that she would be a good playmate for E.C., and that she would even be good company for me when I was alone.

The weekend was over before I knew it, and Sadie had taken to E.C. like nobody's business. When I took him back to Bella's that night, he wanted to take Sadie in the car with us so that he could show Renee and Phil. I was a little nervous about seeing Bella, but her car was gone when we got there and I relaxed a bit. I hadn't heard anything from her since I'd seen her days earlier and I was relieved. I wasn't sure what I might say or do if I did see her, so it was best to just keep my distance for a while longer, until I was able to figure out all of my conflicting emotions.

"Look how cute she is!" Renee said, clapping her hands together as E.C. stood proudly in the yard holding Sadie's leash.

"Dis is my doggie, Say-yee. I likes her, Nana."

Renee laughed. "Oh sweetie, I can see that. She's just precious. Phil! Come out here and see this sweet little puppy!" she yelled back toward the house, and soon Phil came walking out, a smile on his face.

"Hey E.C., whatcha got there?"

"I gots a puppy, see?"

Sadie was happily jumping all around E.C., licking at his legs and feet. The two of them were so much fun to watch as I stood back and let E.C. share the moment with his grandparents. This was something he'd wanted for a long time, and I didn't want to take that away from him.

"Edward, you gonna be able to handle this?" Renee asked, a tiny smirk on her face.

"Yeah, I think so. She's pretty good, and my backyard is fenced in, so I think we'll be okay. We'll see."

"Oh good. Well, she's just gorgeous. Oh! Let me get my camera," Renee said, before running into the house. Phil remained in the yard, watching E.C. lead Sadie all around the yard.

"So you talk to Bella?" he asked.

I cleared my throat and straightened up a bit. I knew this conversation would happen eventually, I could only avoid it for so long. "No, I tried but it seems Jacob is the one she'd rather talk to nowdays. It's fine, I just wish she'd been more honest about it."

Phil looked at me for a moment. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his expression seeming to be so genuine and sincere.

"I came by here to talk to her and Jake was here. He said some things, and as much as I don't want to believe him, he knew stuff that he shouldn't know, so how can I not believe him?"

Phil just laughed. "Boy, I worry about you sometimes. Yeah, Jake's interested in Bella. Anyone can see that. The thing is, she's not interested in him, so you need to get over your little concerns or whatever, and just talk to her. You two are never going to work things out if you don't."

"Maybe I don't want to work things out. I mean, she basically kidnapped my child for almost four years, never even bothering to tell me, and I'm just supposed to be okay with that? I don't know; I'm still working through all of this mess. It's just gonna take me some time." I shoved my hands in the front pocket of my jeans and rocked back on my heels a bit, saying a silent prayer of thanks when Renee came running out of the house with her camera in hand, effectively ending Phil and my conversation.

She followed E.C. and Sadie around the yard, snapping a few pictures, before finally telling E.C. that dinner was almost ready and that he needed to go inside and wash up.

"E.C., bring Sadie over to me. It's time for you to eat," I called to him. Once he handed over her leash, he knelt down and gave her a kiss and tight hug, mumbling a good bye to her.

"Bye Daddy. I wuv you," he said, hugging me and kissing my cheek before darting back into the house. Renee smiled at me and then followed him, leaving me, Sadie, and Phil standing in the grass.

"Just think about things, Edward. You know why she did what she did. It doesn't mean it was right, but just don't lose sight of that. You'll work it out, one way or the other." Phil patted my shoulder with his hand before turning toward the house and walking away from me.

"And if you don't figure it out, then I guess it was never meant to be. And you know, that's okay, too." Phil looked over his shoulder at me, smiling a tight smile and nodding before stepping inside the house.

His words replayed over and over in my head as I drove home. How could it ever be okay if Bella and I didn't end up together? We were supposed to be together, anything else just seemed wrong.

I kept hold of Sadie on the front seat, her tiny head lying on my leg as she slept. E.C. had worn her out, and I figured she'd sleep soundly that night. My mind continued to wander, trying to process everything and figure out all of the different thoughts and emotions running through it.

By the time I pulled into my garage, I was still confused, but then I realized I probably would be for a while. I knew Phil was right in at least one thing he'd said. Bella and I did need to have a talk, just the two of us, and we needed to lay everything out on the table and stop hiding things. For the life of me, I didn't know how to do that.

The next morning I got up early and headed off to class. I checked Sadie's food and water dish, then closed the bedroom doors and made sure there was nothing on the floor anywhere else in the house that she could get into while I was gone. I knew it would just be a couple of hours, but she'd never been on her own before, and I was anxious about how she'd do.

I saw Angela when I entered the classroom and immediately was welcomed into the little study group I'd chatted with over the weekend. Randall was a tall, lanky guy with dark hair and ice blue eyes. He seemed to be a bit of a jokester, and he reminded me a lot of Emmett. Peter was a little shorter, with shaggy blonde hair and flip-flops. While everyone else had on dressier clothes, more along the lines of slacks or nice jeans and button down shirts, he wore his sandals along with a pair of tan cargo shorts and a Led Zepplin t-shirt. I liked him from the second I shook his hand. He has an easygoing air about him, and I appreciated that.

Carmen was short, probably only an inch or two over five feet tall. She was clearly of Hispanic decent, but her hair was white, bleached to be the same color as Marilyn Monroe's had been. Suddenly her username on the class website made a lot of sense. I wondered how each of them saw me, if I was what they'd imagined, and I hoped that I seemed genuine and trustworthy to them.

"Did you have a good weekend with your son?" Angela asked, sitting down at a desk. I settled into the one next to her, pulling out my notebook so that I'd be ready when the professor got to class.

"Yeah, it was good. I got my son a dog, which he named Sadie, and we spent all weekend playing with her. He loves her, and it was hilarious to watch them together."

Angela smiled, laughing as she spoke. "That sounds really fun, Edward. I'm sure you're a great dad to him."

I let out a long sigh. "I hope so. I'm trying to be. I've missed a lot, so I hope I can make up for it."

"You know what? Don't worry about that. It doesn't seem like your son is worried, and he didn't know any different until you came along, so just embrace the time you have now and make the most of it. Just be happy with him."

I looked at her for what seemed like a long time. She squirmed a bit in her chair before finally asking nervously, "Did I say something wrong?"

Shaking my head, I replied. "No, actually that was perfect. You said exactly the right thing. Thank you for that."

Angela was a smart girl, that much I could already tell. She knew next to nothing about my situation, yet she'd managed to get right to the heart of it in only a few sentences. How could she know that she was right? As I thought about her words during class, I realized that Angela wasn't only smart; she was sincere. I would do well to listen a little more closely to her in the future.

After class, I got home and checked the house, finding Sadie fast asleep in her purple dog bed in the living room. E.C. wanted to buy a dog bed for each room in the house, but I talked him into just having one for each bedroom and then one for the living room. I figured that would be plenty for her, especially at first, since we didn't know if she'd even like the beds we bought. Once Sadie heard me, she woke up and followed me around the house as I tried to make sure everything was perfect for when my mom and Alice arrived.

I took Sadie out back for a few minutes, and then called to check the arrival time, knowing that Mom and Alice's flight was scheduled to get in around three thirty in the afternoon. By the time they picked up their bags and got their rental car, it would be about five when they got to my house.

Since they would likely be tired and hungry, I pulled out a local dining guide and looked at a few restaurants, so that I'd have some ideas for dinner. Turning on the news, I dragged out my notes from the morning's lecture and read through them as the TV droned on in the background.

A few minutes after five, I heard a car pull up outside and I glanced out the window, seeing Alice's head pop up out of the car. I grabbed Sadie's leash so that I could keep hold of her and then went to welcome my mother and sister.

"Oh, look at all the palm trees!" Alice squealed when she saw me. Her eyes quickly dropped down to Sadie, and her smile disappeared. "What is that?" she asked, catching me a little off guard.

"Hi to you, too, Alice. This is Sadie, E.C.'s puppy. You'll love her," I said with a laugh. Looking up, I saw my mom as she approached me, her arms wide open and ready for a hug.

"Hi baby," she said, wrapping herself around me and crushing me to her chest with a motherly embrace.

"Hi Mom. You find the house okay? It wasn't too hard, was it?" I asked, hoping that she'd notice my lack of oxygen as I spoke.

Soon enough, I'd helped them both inside with their bags and showed them the spare bedroom. My mom was going to be sleeping there and Alice would be in E.C.'s room, since he wasn't staying the night at all during the week.

"Oh, Edward, Mom and I are going to get some furniture going this week, so I hope you're ready for this place to finally look respectable," Alice said, as she wandered the house, looking at each room. The walls were white and bare, and there wasn't much in the house, just a few basics that I'd brought with me. Things like a sofa, the dining table, dressers, and a couple of beds were really all that I had. My mom had been planning to furnish the place, so I wasn't worried. Now that she was here, and I saw the stack of magazines that Alice plopped onto the kitchen counter, I knew I should probably be concerned.

The evening passed by quickly and soon we were all back at the house, getting ready for bed. My mother asked when E.C. would be back next, and she was excited about getting to spend the afternoon with him the next day. Alice had made plans to see Kate on Wednesday and check into a couple of the fashion design schools around Miami. She and Jasper were considering moving to Miami if one of the schools really interested Alice.

I had to admit, it would be nice to have some family nearby, and I really did miss being able to see and talk to Jasper on a regular basis. My mom and Mrs. Jones would be furniture shopping all day Wednesday. I was rather relieved that I had an extra lab that afternoon and would be at the school pretty much all day.

Tuesday after my classes were over, I picked up E.C. and brought him back to my house, where he was immediately swept in my mother's arms and kissed until he had the hiccups from laughing so much. She and Alice spoiled him rotten, having brought an entire suitcase filled with toys, clothes, and treats just for him. He wasn't too happy when I told him that most of his new treasures would have to stay at my house, but he quickly forgot as soon as Sadie came into his bedroom, barking and wagging her tail. Alice still hadn't warmed up to the puppy, though I wasn't sure why.

Alice and my mother both wanted to go with me when I took E.C. back to Bella's, and after several minutes of me asking them to please stay behind, I realized it was an argument I wouldn't win. I finally gave in once they used their pouty faces on me, their sad eyes and quivering lips totally melting me—I just hoped and prayed that Bella would be working late that night. I had successfully avoided all Bella talk with either of them until that point, and I really didn't look forward to breaking the news that she and I weren't even speaking, much less planning a Christmas wedding. I knew my mom meant well, but her hints were growing less and less subtle, and I was starting to think I probably wouldn't be welcomed home if I wasn't intending to permanently put my grandmother's ring on Bella's finger.

Renee and Phil were there when we pulled up to their house, and they were pleasant and welcoming to my mom and Alice. E.C. pulled them both inside so that he could show them his bedroom, and after about an hour of visiting, it was decided that E.C. would spend the night at my house Thursday and Friday night so that my mom and Alice could have a little more time with him.

I breathed a sigh of relief when we left and still hadn't seen any sign of Bella, though Alice asked when she'd be coming over to visit. I simply shrugged, saying I didn't know because she was busy. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Bella wouldn't be making any stops by my house any time soon.

Wednesday morning I left early for school, wishing my mom luck on her shopping trip. I spent some time in the library, between my morning classes and the afternoon labs, studying with Angela and Peter. I was really enjoying getting to know my new friends, and I liked being able to just talk to people and not have to worry about anything other than who had managed to take the best notes during our professor's lectures.

They asked me a bit about E.C. and the kind of custody arrangement that Bella and I had. When I mentioned that we didn't have one, Peter's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"Do you mind if I ask why not?" he said.

"I don't know; it just hasn't come up. I mean, we kind of set up a schedule, but it's nothing legal. It's just us on our honor. I don't think Bella would ever do anything to try to keep me from seeing our son."

"Sure, you say that now, but what happens when she wants to move away, or she wants to get married. You should have something in place now so that when that day comes, you're ready. I mean honestly, what's to keep her from taking off? She did it before," Peter said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Angela cleared her throat. "You know, Edward, he's right. My brother was married and when he and his wife divorced, he was trying to be a nice guy, and just give her what she wanted. She ended up with full custody and before he knew it, he was only able to see his daughter one weekend a month. Then when his ex-wife got remarried, she didn't even stick to that. She packed up and moved to Montana, and my brother got no say in the situation. Now he's lucky to get to see her for a few weeks during the summer."

I hadn't really even thought about Bella leaving, taking E.C. and running away from me again. Chances were, if I pushed her enough or if we fought enough, she would end up with someone else, and she would leave. I wouldn't have any legal ground to stand on if she decided to do that.

"You know, I'm not even on his birth certificate."

Peter's eyes grew wide with shock. "Edward, please tell me you're talking to a lawyer. You need to protect yourself in all this, get it down all legal like that she kept him from you. She could totally come after you for back child support, and until you paid it, you wouldn't get to see him. You really need to be careful."

My mind was racing with all sorts of scenarios and I wondered if Bella would ever be angry enough with me to do that. Would she actually try to keep me from my son, or ruin me financially? The more we discussed it, the more certain I became that I needed to talk to my mother about this, and then meet with a lawyer. I needed to know what my rights as a father were and what I was going to be legally responsible for.

That night I mentioned the afternoon's discussion to my mother, asking her advice and guidance on what to do. She said she'd actually been thinking about it for a few weeks, since finding out that Bella and I weren't reconnecting as quickly as I'd hoped we would. She told me to be very careful and that I should mention something about it to Bella, or at least to Renee. I knew that if I kept all of it from them, then it would look shady and they would be suspicious of me. I didn't want that, I just wanted to be sure that I would always have a place in my son's life, no matter what my relationship was with his mother.

Thursday I brought E.C. home with me from school, and my mother and Alice were busy putting his room together. He was so excited about all the sports related furnishings they'd bought, and it was all I could do to get him outside with Sadie so that they could get things set up.

By the time they were finished, the bed was covered in a green bedspread that resembled a football field, and the headboard was a giant football. They even set up a large shelving unit along two walls that housed all of his toys and books. E.C. was so excited, and he couldn't wait to climb into bed that night. He didn't even mind sleeping on the floor and letting Alice have his bed, especially when Sadie curled up next to him and tucked herself down inside his blanket with him.

The next morning I was up and going early, ready for a class when I heard a scream coming from E.C.'s room. It was Alice and I hurried to see what was wrong. She was standing in the middle of the room, pointing down to the floor where a pair of her shoes was sitting next to her suitcase.

"Edward!" she yelled, not realizing I was standing right next to her.

"What?" I asked, stepping closer to her.

"Look!" she shouted. "Look what that thing did to my shoe!"

I looked down to the floor and there, inside her shoe, was a lovely little present obviously left by Sadie in the middle of the night. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up and out of my throat, and I covered my mouth in an effort to lessen it, since I could see how angry she was.

"That thing, that mongrel, pooped in my shoe, Edward! Get it out of there now! This is great, those shoes were new and now I can never wear them again. Oh, I hate dogs!" she huffed. By this point E.C. had woken up, as had my mother, and Sadie jumped up to stand next to me, her tail happily wagging as her tongue hung out of her mouth.

"Daddy, whassa mader? Auntie Alice is makin' lossa noise and I's sleepy," E.C. said, rubbing his eyes with his little fists.

"It's okay, Daddy will clean it up. Sadie just had an accident in Aunt Alice's shoe last night, that's all." E.C. looked up at me with questioning eyes, then over to Alice, who continued to rant about the puppy. "Don't worry, buddy, Auntie Alice loves Sadie, don't you, Aunt Alice?"

Alice stood nearby, pacing back and forth, her hands on her hips, as she quietly cursed the dog and wished horrible and harmful thing to happen to it. She glanced at E.C., seeing the concern in his eyes, and quickly nodded in agreement, mumbling something about how cute the little fur ball was. I continued to laugh as I picked up her shoe and got rid of the problem. I made sure to clean the shoe out and spray it with disinfectant so that she wouldn't complain too much, and then I put the shoe back in the bedroom. I also mentioned to her that she might want to pick up all of her things off the floor, or at least close the bedroom door so that Sadie wouldn't get into anything else.

My mother was in the kitchen fixing pancakes for breakfast, as I got ready to go to class. I sat down with E.C. and ate quickly before kissing him on the top of the head and grabbing my books. My mom was going to watch him for the day, and the two of them were headed over to the Jones's house to pick up Mrs. Jones for some more shopping. Alice and Kate were scheduled to check another fashion school, so I knew they'd have a long day as well.

Friday night was nice with all of us hanging around the house. E.C. called my dad and talked to him for a while, telling him all about his new dog and his football furniture. He was excited and happy and I loved how comfortable he'd become with my mom and sister.

Saturday morning we had breakfast again and then headed over to Bella's so that we could drop E.C. off. It was Bella's weekend with him, so I wanted to get him home before it was too late in the day. I started to worry when I saw Bella's car in the driveway. My mom had stayed back at the house, working on some living room decorations she'd bought the day before. Alice was with E.C. and me, and she started to bounce a bit in her seat once she realized that Bella was home. I knew any conversations we had might turn out badly, but I didn't have the heart to warn Alice before hand. I really hoped that we could just slip in and out without too many words being exchanged between us, but I should have known better.

Bella opened the door as soon as we started getting out of the car and her eyes never once met mine, which I knew because I was watching her. She was completely focused on E.C. and walked straight to him, scooping him up in her arms and hugging him tightly.

"Hi Bella!" Alice said as she ran across the yard toward Bella and E.C.

"Alice?" Bella said, clearly wondering why Alice was there. Maybe Renee hadn't told her why E.C. was staying at my house, or maybe she hadn't mentioned who was there. Either way, Bella's guard was obviously up, and she wasn't saying much to any of us.

"Hi! I wanted to see you sooner but Edward said you were really busy with school and work and all. I missed you! Maybe we can go to lunch tomorrow or something, I don't leave until Monday morning."

Bella stood still, holding E.C. in her arms. She whispered something to him, and then set him down on the ground. He sprinted over to me, giving me a hug and telling me good-bye, then ran to Alice and did the same. Before I knew it, he was inside the house, closing the door behind him.

"You told him. How could you tell him, Alice? I begged you not to, how could you do that to me?" Bella spat, her voice clearly angry. Alice looked like she'd been punched in the stomach.

"What are you talking about? Told who what?" Alice asked.

Bella took a few deep breaths. "Edward. You told him about E.C. and about me being pregnant. You knew that I wanted to be the one to tell him. How could you ruin that? He should have heard it from me. Now he won't even speak to me, isn't that right?" she said, turning her eyes toward me.

"You and I know perfectly well that the reason I'm not talking to you has nothing to do with Alice, and everything to do with a certain co-worker of yours. Don't twist this around, Bella," I seethed.

"You're not talking to each other? What?" Alice asked, confused by what we were saying to each other.

"Jacob means nothing to me, I told you that. You just don't listen, Edward. You never have. You always just jump to conclusions and no one can convince you that you're wrong. Well you know what? This time you're so wrong, and you're just too stubborn to see it." Her voice was beginning to rise a bit, and I heard it crack a few times.

"Well maybe what I see is exactly what's going on. I mean, everything checks out, doesn't it?" I spewed back at her, trying to keep my voice down a bit so that I wouldn't scare E.C. inside the house.

Alice continued to stand by in awe, just looking back and forth between the two of us. "I don't understand..."

"You told him, Alice. You were my best friend and you broke your promises to me. You have no idea what you've done. I can't even look at you right now, much less go to lunch with you. You're not my friend, not really. You ruined everything!" Bella yelled, then spun around and ran back into the house, slamming the door.

Alice still stood by, shell shocked from what had just happened. My anger was boiling by that point, and I hurried to my car, climbing in and racing away as soon as Alice had her door closed. She was silent the whole way home, and once I turned off the car, I noticed that she was sniffling.

"Are you alright?" I asked, genuinely concerned for her.

"No. What was that about? Why was she so angry? And why aren't you two talking to each other?" Her voice was so soft; I barely heard the things she said.

"I let it slip that you told me about E.C. I accidentally told her the night before she left Forks to come back to Miami. She was really embarrassed and angry and she basically told me it was over. She wouldn't talk to me until I got here, and I started smoothing things out between us, only to find out that she has a secret boyfriend. Well, she says she doesn't, but he says she does, and it sure looked like they were more than just friends when he was feeling her up a couple weeks ago. I was gonna talk to her last week, but he was there instead. I don't know what to think, but it feels like she's just playing me."

Alice was silent for a few minutes, the quiet in the car deafening. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Me too."

That night I moped, letting myself get worked up and angry over the argument I'd had with Bella. My mom knew something had happened, but neither Alice nor I were offering up any information, so she stayed quiet and kept busy finishing up some decorative stuff. Though I never doubted my mother's abilities, I was surprised by just how different the house looked by Sunday afternoon. There was actual furniture in each room, pictures hung up and even a few of the walls were painted. I wasn't even sure how she'd managed to get everything done, but I knew that once my mother set her mind to something, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Sunday night we sat in the living room watching television. Alice was in E.C.'s bedroom talking to Jasper, most likely ranting about Sadie, again. That morning she'd left her new purse on the floor and didn't bother to close the bedroom door. Being a puppy and feeling the urge to chew, Sadie sank her little puppy teeth into the purse and chewed the whole side of it before anyone found her. I knew I'd have to buy Alice a new purse, but I kind of didn't feel bad for her. I'd warned her, but she just didn't listen.

"So, you ever gonna tell me what's going on or are you going to wait until I get home and can't do anything to help?" my mom softly asked. I looked over at her, noticing the concern on her face, and I couldn't hold back any longer. I let out a deep sigh before casting my gaze back down to the floor.

"I don't know. Everything is just such a mess right now, I don't know what's gonna happen or what I even want to happen. I'm just...confused and hurt, I don't know what to do."

I spent the next hour telling my mother everything that had been going on between Bella and me. I spilled every detail, even the ones that I wasn't proud of. She sat and listened, nodding her head and taking it all in. When I got to the part about the attorney and filing for legal rights to E.C., I saw her cringe.

"Edward, that's a slippery slope to go down. You'd better be sure that's really what you want before you start with that process. I agree, you need to be on E.C.'s birth certificate, and you should have some type of legal custody agreement worked out, but you need to talk to Bella. You have to include her in every step of this, otherwise I have a bad feeling this will blow up in your face, and you'll lose her for good." She reached over and ran her hand through my hair, letting her fingernails scratch along the back of my neck, and calming me in the process.

"I know Mom, but I don't know what other choice I have. She could just take him and leave and I'd have no say in it. What would I do then? I can't lose him. I'm trying so hard to make up for all the time I've already missed, and I just don't want to take a chance." My eyelids slid closed, the seriousness of the situation finally hitting me. We sat together for a little while longer before I finally said good night and headed off to bed.

The next morning I was up early for class, hoping to help my mom and Alice finish packing before I left. Their flight left that morning and I wouldn't be back in time to see them off. My mother said that they were going to stop by and see E.C. on their way to the airport, and then they'd be leaving.

I hugged them both tightly and told them how much I'd miss them. I wasn't sure when I'd see them again, though they were all tentatively planning to come to Miami in November for Thanksgiving, which was just a few days after E.C.'s birthday. I hoped they'd all be able to make the trip, and I kissed my mom before hurrying out the door.

When I got home from class, they were already gone. Lying on the kitchen counter was a piece of paper with a name and phone number on it. Below them was a note from my mother, saying that it was the name of an attorney in the area that specialized in family law.

Apparently, he was a friend of Aro's, and Mrs. Jones had suggested him as someone that I could talk to, just to get an idea of what my rights were. I hung the paper on the fridge with one of E.C.'s little alphabet magnets and then went to my room to get my laptop. When I opened it, I saw that there was an email from Bella. I was curious as to why she'd email me, so I opened it and quickly glanced over what she'd written.

_Edward -_

_Since you had E.C. this last week, I'm going to keep him next weekend. I got tickets to a circus on Saturday and I want to take him. I just wanted you to know._

_Bella_

My mouth hung open in shock. She wanted to take my weekend from me? Even though I wasn't the one that had asked for him to stay the nights while my mom was in town? That was something that had been worked out between our mothers, and yet here she was, trying to make me pay for it by giving up my specified weekend. The more I thought about it, the more set I became in my decision. I had to call the attorney. I needed to know what my rights were as a father, and I needed to get my name on E.C.'s birth certificate.

Thinking about the things I hoped to gain from legal proceedings, I realized something—everything I was upset about was Bella's doing. She was the one that had taken my son from me. She was the one that had hidden him away. She was the one that was controlling the amount of time I got to spend with my son. She was the one keeping me from being listed as his legal guardian. She was doing all of these things, and for what? I thought back over the few months that we'd spent together in high school, and tried to remember if she'd always been so manipulative, or if this was something new, maybe brought on by new influences. I wondered if being in charge made her happy, and if it was what she needed so that she could feel superior to me.

My mind was made up—I would set up an appointment with the attorney my mom had found and I would look into my rights when it came to E.C. I wasn't going to let Bella run away this time. This was about my son, and I intended to get what I was entitled to. I wasn't about to give up. Not again. I'd let her go once before, and it cost me my son.

I wouldn't do it again.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: So, what do you think? Like I said, they aren't getting back together for a bit. I'm keeping this as realistic as I can, and the fact that these two don't talk means it's gonna be a while. They are dealing with emotions and it's only been 2 months since Edward first found out that E.C. even exists. Hang in there...the HEA will happen eventually. Oh, and I do have some lemons planned, in case you were wondering. :)**

**You wanna see E.C.'s bedroom stuff, or Sadie, his little puppy? I have pictures up on my fanfic blog. There's a link on my profile. :)  
**

**How about some story rec's?**

_**Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea**_** by jennde – this is not the story for you if you're looking for sweet fluff. It's the story of a young college bound Edward, who falls for an older Bella. Too bad she's engaged to Carlise, Edward's father. It's heartbreaking, angsty, non-canon, and simply breath catching. But what else would I expect from the person that wrote the o/s **_**Unplanned**_**, which makes me SOB so much, it's second only to **_**The Best Man,**_** which makes me cry harder than anything ever has in my life. This story is wonderful, I'm so caught up in it, and I can't wait to see how it will turn out. It's short, too. There's not much left to it, but ugh...the heart break is killing me. And it feels so good...**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6950000/1/Between_The_Devil_and_The_Deep_Blue_Sea**

_**Rabbit Heart**_** by KitsuShel – this is a story about Bella returning to her roots, trying to find the family that she thought she'd lost, and hiding from all the things that threaten her in so many different ways. I love this story, plus it updates every Friday! I love that! :D The Edward in this story is amazing. He's sweet and sincere and wonderful... I want him. Plus he looks good wearing a tool belt and whipping up some carpentry stuff. Yum... :) There's a bit of mystery in this, since someone is stalking Bella, but we don't know who. That's exciting, right? :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6754319/1/**

**And for something complete...**

_**Some Little Girls**_** by sleepyvalentina – for any of you that read **_**Art After 5**_** or **_**Counterpoint**_** (two of my favorite fan fic stories) this story is kind of their sequel. Well, it is their sequel. It follows Bella and Edward as they deal with life in the future, marriage, pregnancy, and all the craziness that those things bring with them. The story is wonderful, just like the original stories are, and I gotta say...I cried a bit when this ended. Having to accept the fact that one of my favorite Edward's in all of fan fic was finally done...that got me. I'm still sad, and I'll miss him, but this story is so good. It was the perfect way to finish out a beautiful series.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5684908/1/**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early, and everyone that reviews will get a teaser. Hopefully ff dot net will get their crap straightened out and let me reply the right way. If not, I'll have to do it through the message system on ff dot net, so make sure your messages are turned on so that I can send it to you. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Alright, give it to me...**


	26. Chapter 26 Love the Way You Lie

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a birthday, and it was yesterday (the 10****th****, so whatever that is for you...it's still yesterday for me) and my friends were amazing to me. I love them all, I'm such a lucky girl. Thanks for all the Twitter and FaceBook birthday wishes, as well as the wonderfully sweet girls at PIC, who gave me so much pretty RobPorn and lovely words. It was a good day... :)**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **_**coldplaywhore. **_**She is swamped and incredible. She's heading up the ****Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness**** charity thing, along with **_**aylah50**_**. There's a link on my profile if you'd like to donate. There are a TON of fabulous authors contributing work to this, so please – if you can – dig deep and donate before the 15****th**** of June. It will be well worth your time. There might be a small bit at the end of this chapter to show you what me and my smokin' hot wifey are contributing. :)**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, ****_Mrs. Robward_.**** She sent me birthday presents... If I didn't love her before, I certainly do now. :D She's the best girl ever, and she's mine...all mine. :D**

**Thanks to ****_Twilight44, _****_Unchanged Affections_, & _burntcore _****for prereading this. They all have such busy lives and yet they find time for me. I owe them more than I'll ever be able to pay them back. :)**

**The girls that got this chapter early were:****_ Chilly Howdy, Simple Good Girl, FeistyPalooka, twimom0974, Ecis4me, Noelluna, tennishog_, ****and**_** ksb75,**_** who happened to be the 1500****th**** review! Yay! Thank you so much for your feedback, it really did help assure me that this chapter won't, in fact, kill anyone. :D**

**Hey **_**It90 **_**and****_ rionr_, ****if you're out there...check your PM's and get me your email. I'll send you chapter 27 early since I couldn't get ahold of you for this chapter. :)**

**I pick totally at random each week, so just 'cause you get it once doesn't mean you can't get it again. :) Also, since ff dot net changed the way we reply to reviews, I can't write you back and send a teaser if you don't have your PM's turned on. Just a thought...**

**Things aren't getting fixed with our Edward and Bell over night, you know this. This chapter's rough, but it's movement that will eventually lead to the right direction and the HEA you're all craving. Only 10 chapters to go after this, and I promise there are a few happy ones at the end. :)**

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o **

WHTM Ch 26 – Love the Way You Lie

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe_  
_When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em_  
_Got that warm fuzzy feeling_  
_Yeah them chills used to get em_  
_Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em_  
_You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em_  
_Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em_  
_You push pull each other's hair_  
_Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em_  
_So lost in the moments when you're in em_  
_It's the rage that's the culprit, controls you both_  
_So they say it's best to go your separate ways_  
_Guess that they don't know ya_  
_Cause today that was yesterday_  
_Yesterday is over, it's a different day_  
_Sound like broken records playin' over_  
_But you promised her next time you'll show restraint_  
_You don't get another chance_  
_Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again_  
_Now you get to watch her leave out the window_  
_Guess that's why they call it window pane_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_  
_Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts_  
_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_  
_Well that's all right because I love the way you lie_  
_I love the way you lie_

"Love the Way you Lie" by Eminem featuring Rihanna

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

By Tuesday afternoon, I'd talked myself into calling the attorney my mother had suggested. Jason Jenks came highly recommended, as I'd learned when I Googled his name and law firm. Every former client review that I found was positive, and some were even what I'd consider to be glowing. It seemed he really cared about his clients and the families that he represented. It was comforting to read, too, that he didn't seem to make the other party into the bad guy.

Even though I wanted legal rights to E.C., and even though I was upset with Bella, I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't know exactly why, since she'd obviously given little thought to my feelings when she made decisions regarding our son, but the idea of causing her pain actually made my stomach ache. I couldn't bring myself to wish suffering on her—it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

I called the law office Wednesday morning and was scheduled for an appointment the next Monday afternoon. I was a little disheartened to have to wait so long, but I figured it would give me time to get my thoughts straight and really think about exactly what I hoped to accomplish. Going to court was the last thing I wanted, but if it came to that, I needed to be prepared. I sincerely hoped that everything could be worked out easily between Bella and I, but I had no way of knowing how she would react when she found out what I was doing.

E.C. and I had rather uneventful afternoons on both Tuesday and Thursday, and when I dropped him off Thursday evening, I was glad to see Bella's car at home. I wanted to talk to her about the weekend and see if I could at least get one night with E.C. After all, I'd taken him home early the previous Saturday morning so that she could have the day with him. I just hoped that she would extend me the same courtesy.

Walking E.C. to the door, I tried to gear myself up for whatever mood I might find Bella in. If there was going to be a fight, I wanted to be ready. E.C. tried to turn the knob, but of course the door was locked. He knocked and we waited until finally we heard footsteps inside the house. Renee opened the door, smiling widely at her grandson and pulling him into her arms. He fussed a bit when her hug smashed the drawing he had intended to show her, but quickly forgot his frustration when she smoothed the paper out, making it flat again.

"Is Bella home?" I asked. Renee's eyes flashed up to meet mine and her lips started to turn up a bit as she tried to fight off what seemed to be a smile.

"Sure, I'll get her. You wanna come in?" she said.

"Okay."

I stepped into the house, overwhelmed by the smell of food cooking. "Are you hungry, Edward? You wanna stay for dinner? There's more than enough."

I shook my head, feeling rather awkward at being asked to dinner considering the way Bella and I had been acting toward each other lately. Not only that, but I also knew that I might soon be taking legal action against Bella in regards to E.C.'s custody, and that left me feeling very uncomfortable about being in her house for any extended period of time. "Oh, no thanks, it's alright. I'll just stop and get something on the way home, I've got a lot of homework to do tonight."

"Oh, well maybe I can pack some up for you to take. I could do that while you talk to Bella, if you like?"

I nodded. "That would be nice. Thank you, Renee."

She turned away from me. "Bellaaaaaa! Get out here, honey!" She'd called once before, after inviting me inside, but Bella still hadn't come out from wherever she was.

"There she is," Renee said and I looked up to see Bella emerge from her bedroom, her eyes trained on me. She paused when my eyes met hers, then continued walking, straightening her shoulders as she neared me. "Edward wants to talk to you, dear."

"Fine," Bella said, crossing her arms across her chest. I looked away from her, not wanting to let my eyes linger on the way her arms were pressing her breasts together. I didn't need that distraction at the moment, and I tried to make myself not recall memories of what her body felt like in my hands. It had been weeks since we'd last been together, and a month or so before that since my last sexual encounter of any kind. While I wasn't having trouble controlling my impulses, I was a man, and I noticed things like boobs. I couldn't help it, just like I couldn't help the urges that tingled in the pit of my stomach every time I thought of touching Bella in any way.

We had so many good times together and it was hard to believe that we had gotten so far from that place in such a short amount of time. It made me sad, and I reached down to ruffle E.C.'s hair a little with my hand. He looked up at me and smiled, and instantly I was reminded of my goal—to be with my son.

"I'll just go dish up some dinner into a container. It'll be ready for you when you go, Edward. E.C., why don't you come help me get some dinner for your daddy?" With that, Renee hurried off to the kitchen, taking E.C. with her. He waved to me before rounding the corner, leaving Bella and I alone in the doorway.

"So, what did you want?" Bella asked, her words coming out in a clipped tone.

"Well, I was wondering if we could talk about this weekend. I mean, I was hoping to at least get one night with E.C. I don't think it's too much to ask. I did have him home early last Saturday. Besides, that whole sleepover thing was arranged by our moms, not me. I feel like I'm being punished because my mom asked if she could spend some time with her grandson." I was doing my best to keep my voice level and even. I didn't want to upset Bella right off the bat, but she seemed to already be on edge.

"Well, I'm taking him to the circus Saturday and I have tickets for the evening show, so we won't be home until late. I think it's better if he just sleeps here." She was staring at her feet, unwilling to look at me. Her apparent inability to meet my gaze worried me, making me wonder if maybe there was more to it than something as simple as the circus.

"Okay then, let me keep him tomorrow night. I'll bring him back Saturday around noon, which should be plenty of time for you to go to the show."

Bella shifted on her feet taking a deep breath. "Well, I have plans for Saturday morning, too. He needs some new pants and there's a sale at the mall. I need him to go with me." Shopping? She wanted to keep my son away from me so that she could take him shopping?

"Bella, I'll pay the difference in the cost, if that's what this is really about. For some reason I think you just don't want him with me. Is that it? What's going on?" I was starting to lose my temper, and I wanted to know what her problem was.

Bella moved toward the front door, opening it and stepping outside. I followed her and closed the door behind me. I was rather surprised when she began to walk toward my car, and I stayed two steps behind her until we got there.

"Is it open?" she asked.

"No, hang on," I said, unlocking the car and opening the door for her.

My breath faltered as she sat down in the front seat, her shorts riding up high on her thighs. I quickly closed the door, and started to round the car for the other side. I shook my head in an effort to rid my brain of the memories that were quickly beginning to flash through it; Bella laying amid the flowers in the meadow we would sometimes hike to, Bella sitting along the river banks when Charlie took us fishing with him, Bella standing in the ocean as the waves of salt water swelled around her legs... I reached for my door handle, opening it and praying that I would be able to keep my thoughts on track.

I let out a long sigh. "You wanna go somewhere or what?"

"No, I just thought this might be better, in case we yell. I didn't want E.C. to hear us. He doesn't need to know what's going on." Bella's teeth gnawed at her bottom lip and I knew it meant she was worried or nervous about something.

"Okay, well maybe you could let me in on what's going on, 'cause I think I'd like to know. All I want is some time with my son. I don't see why that's a problem."

Bella looked at me, finally. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were full of fury. "Did you ask our son about me?" she said, her words seething with anger.

"What?" I said, wondering what she was getting at.

"Did you ask our three year old son if I was dating someone? If I was sleeping around? Yes or no, that's all I want."

Oh crap, now I knew what she meant. I paused for a moment, remembering the afternoon E.C. and I spent working on his play set. I'd quizzed him all about Bella's dating life, and as I watched her fume over what I'd done, I swallowed deeply, trying to come up with a reply.

Clearing my throat, I looked down at my lap. "Yes, I did, but only because you wouldn't tell me anything. I think I have a right to know who he spends time with. I'm just trying to be a good father."

"I can't believe you!" she yelled. "How dare you ask him that! I've told you a million times, Jake is my friend. I'm sorry if you refuse to believe that, but it's true! And after what he did at my party, I can't really even say that he's that any more. I don't know what else you want me to do, Edward. What do I have to do to prove myself to you?"

"Well, maybe for starters, you can tell me the truth for a change. Maybe you can just be honest with me when I ask you stuff instead of lying through your teeth."

Her eyes grew wide. "Lying? You think I've lie to you?"

"Yep," I spat angrily, with a quick nod.

"About what? What would I have to lie to you about?" Her brow wrinkled as her eyes narrowed.

I hardened my gaze at her, knowing that what I was about to say would sting. "How about the fact that I had a son? Would you consider running away with my child a lie? Because I do. You just ran away with no regard for me or my feelings. All you thought about was yourself. You took everything away from me."

My voice had risen a few octaves, and I was a little relieved that we were in the car yelling, and not outside the house.

I knew it wouldn't be good for E.C. to see us arguing with each other. I'd heard my parents fight a few times when I was a young boy, and nothing was scarier to me than the thought of them hating each other. When I was growing up, several kids in my elementary school had parents who were divorced, and the idea of having to live in two different houses frightened me. The fact that my son was now doing just that was not lost on me, though it seemed my hopes of him and Bella eventually living with me were quickly fading away.

"How can you say that? After all this time, how can you still believe that I left without thinking of you? Everything I did was so that you could have a life, Edward! Do you think I really wanted to be a single parent at seventeen? Up all night with a crying baby and then sitting through class all day, just so that I could graduate from high school? Do you think I liked having no social life or friends? Do you think I enjoyed the glares I got from other students and their parents when they saw me come walking in with my baby? Are you insane?" She had moved closer to me as she screamed, and ended up with her face just inches from mine.

"Well you wouldn't have had to do all that on your own if you'd told me! I would have been there, I'd have helped you, but you didn't! You just left and never gave me a second thought!" I knew as I said the words that they weren't exactly true. I'd heard E.C. say how Bella cried at night and how she mumbled my name in her sleep, but I was angry. I wanted to hurt her as much as she'd hurt me. I wanted her to see what she'd done to me—what her thoughtlessness had turned me into.

"I did all of it FOR you, you idiot!" she yelled, hitting my chest with her hand. "How could you possibly be so dense? How could you think this, after everything I've told you? Don't you believe me?"

Her eyes began to glimmer with unshed tears and her chin shook a little. I could tell she was close to crying and that she was hurting. Part of me wanted to tell her that I believed her, that I knew she loved me and was only trying to help. That part of me wanted to pull her into my arms and never let her go. That part of me wanted to declare my undying love for her and beg for her forgiveness. That part of me wasn't big enough to overpower the other part of me, the part that wanted her to hurt as much as I did. The other part wanted her to pay for what she'd stolen from me. I could feel myself closing off to her, and as much as I didn't want it to happen, I couldn't stop it.

"No, I don't believe you," I said, venom in my words. "I don't believe that you loved me. How could you do something so cruel to someone you claim to love? How could you take a child away from their parent? What kind of heartless monster do you have to be to do that to somebody? You had me so fooled, Bella. I was so in love with you, and you just destroyed me. You ruined everything in my life. I just hope it was worth it, and I hope you're happy."

Her tears fell in earnest down her cheeks and she gasped for breath. "That's what you think?" she whispered, shaking her head. "No, please, no."

"What? Truth hurts?"

"Don't say that, Edward. Please, don't. I didn't mean to hurt you." Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. My heart was breaking, right along with hers, but my head was in control. She'd devastated me, nearly ruining my entire life. I'd almost lost my scholarship and my position on the team, just because I was so broken over losing her. My careless actions had hurt my family and my friendships. All the things I'd done, I'd done in an effort to forget her. None of them ever worked, and now I found history repeating itself. I was yet again acting out because of her, and as much as I wanted to break the cycle, I was powerless to stop it.

I needed away from her. Away from her eyes and the way they drew me in. To not see her forehead and how it crinkled as she cried. To not hear her sobs as they broke through her throat. Mostly, to not want her anymore. If I had any chance of making it, I had to stop wanting her.

My head swam with ideas, things I could say or do to hurt her. As she sat quietly crying, I knew there was one thing that would hurt her most of all, and though I didn't want to tell her in this way, I knew I needed to get it out there. I had to make her see that I wasn't going to just sit back and let her have all the power over everything anymore.

"I talked to a lawyer, Bella. I have rights as E.C.'s father, and I'm tired of letting you control things." Her eyes shot open, and she didn't breathe.

"What?" she whispered, her eyes searching my face.

"Yeah, I hired an attorney, a good one. I intend to get what's mine. I want my son, Bella. I'm not letting you take him away from me again. Ever. Do you hear me? He's mine too, and I want a say in his life."

"Edward please, don't do this," she whimpered.

"You can't just do what you want, Bella. I have a right to be his father. You can't stop me."

She stared at me for several seconds. "You want to take him away from me?" she asked, her voice barley above a whisper.

"No, but I want rights to him. If you won't let me, them maybe I'll take him. I mean, I can't imagine any judge wouldn't let me have custody of him, considering you ran away and hid him from me for four years. I don't think your supposed reasoning will really matter all that much, you know?"

Her hands started to shake. "Please don't take my baby, Edward. Please. I'll give you whatever you want, just please don't take him from me. I can't live without him. Please, please..." Her sobs began again, and instantly I regretted the way I'd sprung my intentions on her. Her eyes had grown so vacant, haunted almost, and I could actually feel how scared she was. I didn't want her to feel that way, but I needed my son and I had to do something to prove that I was serious.

"I don't want to take him, Bella. I just want what I'm entitled to. I want him to know me, to spend time with me and my family. I don't think that's too much to ask." Her head shook slowly back and forth, letting me know that she heard me.

"Do I need a lawyer, Edward? 'Cause I can't really afford one, but I can't go to court without one, can I? Are you taking me to court?" She sniffled, wiping her nose a bit.

I let out a long sigh. "I don't know yet. I meet with my attorney next week; I just wanted you to know. I don't want to go to court either, Bella, but I want my son. I want what's mine. I've tried to give you money for him, but you won't take it. I've been with him every day that you said I could, picked him up on time every day, and dropped him off on time. I've done everything you've asked, and yet you want to take my time away just because our mom's worked something out with him. I'm sorry if he was away for two nights, but you've had a thousand nights with him, Bella. I've had like five. It's not fair, you can't possibly think it's fair."

She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders continuing to shake as she cried. I knew my plans would most likely come as a surprise to her, but she was taking it so much harder than I thought. She wasn't even fighting me anymore, it was like she'd given up and was just resigned to the fact that I was taking control. The part of me that was angry with her wanted to hear her scream and yell, to have her hit me and punch me, act out toward me. In my heart, I knew she would never do that.

"Fine, take him for the weekend, I'll give the tickets away," she said, wiping away the tears from under her eyes.

"Fine, if that's what you want."

Her lips shook as she stared at her hands that lay in her lap. "I'm so sorry. If I say it everyday for the rest of my life it will still never be enough. I just...I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I thought you'd hate me for holding you back from everything you'd worked so hard for. I'm so sorry, I should have told you, and I'm so sorry."

She reached for the handle, opening the door and quietly stepping out. I watched her in the rear view mirror as she walked away from the house, down the street toward the beach. I didn't know if it was a good idea for her to be alone right then, but I knew if I was there, I would only upset her more. She needed time to get her emotions in control, and I knew I did, too. I was still angry and wanting revenge, and I needed to be away from her for a while.

As I started the car, I happened to glance into the back seat and see E.C.'s lunch box laying there. I knew he'd need it for school the next day, so I turned off the car, grabbed it, and then took it to the door.

"Where's Bella?" Renee asked, looking around behind me.

"Um, things kinda got a little heated when we were talking. She walked down the street, I'm guessing to the beach or something. I don't think she wanted E.C. to see her upset."

"Oh, I see. Did you work things out?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. We're both pretty angry right now, so it's probably better if we aren't together anymore today."

"Alright, well thanks for telling me where she is. I'm sure she'll come home soon, after she's cooled down a bit." Renee smiled, taking E.C.'s lunch box from me.

"Um, Renee? I just wanted to tell you something. Um, I've been thinking about this for a while and I told Bella just barely, and she didn't react very well. I mean, I didn't say it as nicely as I should have, but still..."

"What is it, Edward?" she asked, concern clear in her eyes.

"I talked to a lawyer about E.C. and my rights as his father."

Renee was silent for a few moments. "Oh, Edward..."

"I just...I'm afraid Bella's gonna run away from me again and take him with her, and I can't lose him. I want to be his father, I want everything that it entails, and I can't have that unless legally, he's mine." I felt the familiar sting of tears welling up in my eyes and I rubbed my hands across my face.

"Edward, it's okay. You're entitled to that. He should be yours, too. Your name should be on his birth certificate, it's only right. Bella knows that and it'll be fine." She stepped out onto the porch and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me to her. I knew Renee wasn't always the mothering type, but I'd always felt that she loved and accepted me from the first moment we met. I knew she was just trying to comfort me, and I appreciated it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

"It's fine, it'll be fine. But Edward, is Bella gonna need an attorney? Because—and I don't say this to try and get you to change your mind—but money's kinda tight around here. We make enough to get by, but there's not much extra, and there's not a lot in savings, so I just need to be prepared for what to expect."

"I don't want that to be a problem for you. I'll see what I can do to help, okay?" I said, hoping she knew I was being sincere.

"Thank you, Edward." I stepped back, murmuring a quiet goodbye just as E.C. came running out with the container of dinner that Renee had prepared for me.

"Daddy, don't fuget you dinner!" he said, rushing past Renee as he brought it to me.

"Thanks buddy, I did almost forget." I smiled at him, kneeling down and hugging him to my chest as I placed a kiss on his head.

"Hey Daddy, me and Momma's goin' to da circus. You gonna come wit me? Der's a big elebunt and a monkey. You wanna come?" I looked at his sweet, angelic face and could see how excited he was about the outing Bella had planned. How could I ever live with myself if I denied him that?

"No, I can't go, but you know what? I'm gonna pick you up from school tomorrow and we'll have a sleep over, and then I'll bring you home so you can go to the circus, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

I thought for a moment and then smiled. "And then I'll come back and get you on Sunday, and you and me are gonna go watch a football game. How does that sound? Just us guys, you think that sounds good?"

"Yeah, I like da football games, Daddy. I'ma get a hot dog? And a swushie? Dat's alright, Daddy, huh?"

"Sure thing, buddy, anything you want."

"Yay!" he said, clapping his hands before kissing my cheek and running back into the house.

"Thank you for that, Edward," Renee said, her eyes tearing up as she placed her hand over her heart and smiled. "I'll see you Saturday morning."

I hurried to my car, anxious to get home and plan out my weekend activities with E.C. I knew he'd be happy, spending time with both Bella and myself, and ultimately that was what truly mattered to me. As long as my son was happy, I'd deal with whatever hurdles I had to.

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o **

**A/N: Oh boy...nice, right? :D Like I said, they're getting there, but there are a lot of emotions being dealt with right now, and these two don't communicate. Yes, it would much easier if they just sat down and talked it all out. However, there's no real story in that, right? I know if I was in either of their positions, the LAST thing I would want to do is sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with someone I don't trust, who I think is trying to take my child away from me. Apparently I'm in the minority of people, but it's what I'd do. Sorry. :)**

**Okay, so how about some rec's?**

_**Elusively Yours**_** by GemmaH - ****_Edward Cullen has just one rule for his sex life: The moms he picks up in the schoolyard have to be involved with someone else. It's the perfect system, until he meets Bella Swan. He thought that he set the terms, apparently nobody thought to tell Bella_. **** I've been reading this for the past week, and it's wonderful! Who doesn't love a manwhore Edward that's slowly reforming for a kind hearted Bella? I know I do! :D It's good, and make sure you read the o/s that tells the history of how Edward got to be the bad boy he is in this story. It's called ****Unravel Me****, and it's wonderful as well. **

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5942709/1/Elusively_Yours**

_**All At Once**_** by stella luna sky - **_**A smoky bar, a guy with an epic beard, too much whiskey, and a seedy motel on the water. A short story about finding love in all the wrong places.**_** I am loving this story. It's only 2 chapters in, but her writing is always so beautiful and lovely. Plus this story has Edward with a beard. Ugh...how could you not love that? :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7059346/1/All_At_Once**

**And for something complete...**

_**Beneath the Undertow**_** by aftrnoondlight - **_**Dreams past, circumstance and sacrifice... young Edward and Bella bravely smile through the tears on life's complicated path. A short journey of pure and true devotion... of choosing love above all else. EPOV M for Language & Lemons **_**I love this story so much. It's short, only 15k words, and it's so good. It made me cry...I couldn't stop reading it. I love stories were Edward and Bella have to battle the odds together, and they win. That's always so good...**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6968728/1/Beneath_the_Undertow**

**And now, since this chapter was short, I'll give you a teaser for the story that **_**Mrs. Robward**_** and I are submitting to the**** Fandom 4 Sexual Assault Awareness****. I'll also link the banner on my profile, in case you wanna see it... :)**

**This is unbeta'd and not totally finished, so in an effort to tease you, I give you **_**My Unintended****...**_

_**I felt his arm wrap around me as his face nuzzled into my hair. "I love you, Bella. Always, only you." His voice was soft, quiet, and soon I felt his steady breathing, signaling that he'd fallen asleep. As I lay there with him, completely cocooned in his arms, my mind began to wander. How had we gotten here? What was it that made us think what we were doing was alright? Did we even care anymore if people were hurt by our needs and wants? Could I possibly ever tell him no, even if I wanted to? **_

_**I knew I didn't want to, and as long as Edward wanted me, I'd be here for him. My hand traced over his, my fingers feeling the cool metal on his ring finger. The promises that ring stood for...the vows that were made when it was placed there...the hope that surrounded him on that day... The thoughts repeated over and over again in my head, and as I laced our fingers together, I closed my eyes.**_

_**"****I love you, too , Edward. Always," I whispered to no one but myself, before quietly drifting off to sleep.**_

**She and I will be continuing this story in August on our joint account, _Mrs. beeward13_, but I'm sure there will be more info on it as we get closer to that. In the meantime, donate to the ****F4SAA**** and get LOTS of stories. I preread one by **_**EdwardsBloodType**_**, and I can promise you...you'll love it. :)**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early, and everyone that reviews will get a teaser. I have to do it through the message system on ff dot net, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can send it to you. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Alright, give it to me...**


	27. Chapter 27 Without You

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a sad heart. I miss my buddy, Bratty Vamp. It's been a sad week for me... :(**

**Thanks go to my uberbeta **___**coldplaywhore. **_**She hates my use of the word maybe. So, I maybe tried my best to maybe replace the word maybe every chance I could maybe find in the chapter. I think maybe I did a pretty good job with maybe finding other words that maybe fit into the context of what I was maybe trying to say. Maybe. :) She loves me...maybe. :D**

**Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **___**Mrs. Robward.**_** She's been away for baseball all week. And I was gone last week. I miss her, too.**

**Thanks to **___**Twilight44,**____**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore**_**for prereading this. They are all so busy, I feel blessed to have them. And sorry, again, for all the extra spaces and the run on sentences. I can't help it, my mind starts going a million miles a minute when I write, and I just keep typing and typing and I can't seem to stop what I'm saying, because it's just flowing out, and if I've learned one thing as a mother it's that when something is working, you just gotta keep going with it because you just never know when someone is going to jump in and stop you and you won't be able to keep doing what you were doing... :D Yeah, they love me, too. :D**

**The girls that got this chapter early were: **___**rionr, ECis4me, crackupmonkey, dien-da, Green Eyes 72, whisperwind1886, Steph030726,**_** and **___**Ana Rod**__**. **_**Thanks for the feedback, ladies! :) It's much appreciated. Like always, I pick totally at random each chapter, and you can always get picked more than once. It's fun. :)**

**Hey **___**writtenbyabdex**__**, **_**if you're out there, check your PM's and I'll send you next chapter early. :) As always, if your PM's are disabled, I can't send you anything. There were a couple of you this time... Sorry. :(**

**And**___** Bellinda**__**...**_**since ff dot net erased your email address in the review you left for chapter 4, I'll say it here. Twilighted dot net is a Twilight site. It's got forum's and stuff. It's fun. There are links to the forum for this story on my profile here, so you can go to my profile and get right there. :)**

_**Hope you like this chapter. Things are starting to move forward, I think. Not much longer until we finally get a resolution...**_

_**o~*~o~*~o~*~o**_

WHTM Ch 27 – Without You

_I just wanna be alone tonight  
I just wanna take a little breather  
'Cause lately all we do is fight  
And every time it cuts me deeper  
'Cause something's changed  
You've been acting so strange  
And it's taking its toll on me  
It's safe to say that I'm ready to let you leave_

_Without you, I live it up a little more every day  
Without you, I'm seeing myself so differently  
I didn't wanna believe it then, but it all worked out in the end  
When I watched you walk away, well, I never thought I'd say  
I'm fine…without you_

"Without You" by Hinder

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Friday evening with E.C. was great, but tiring. After spending most of the night at one of those indoor playground's, and being hit on by pretty much every single mom there, we stopped off for ice cream on the way home. He was falling asleep in his seat before he even finished his cone, but luckily his drowsiness enabled me to snag what was left of his dessert and then convince him later that he had, indeed, eaten it all himself.

I knew that Bella wanted to take him shopping Saturday morning, so after a quick breakfast, I took him back to her house. Renee answered the door and looked a little surprised to see us. I wondered sometimes if she really trusted me and my intentions, but I was bound and determined to prove myself so that I'd at least have one ally in her household. I was quickly coming to believe that things between Bella and I were never going to work out and sadly the thought left me feeling a little lighter. As much as I wanted to be with her, there was just too much hurt and anger between us, and every time my thoughts wandered to her, I felt weighed down by all of it.

Sunday morning I got up early, excited for the day I had planned with E.C. I had managed to get tickets to the Miami Dolphins game. They were playing the New England Patriots and it looked to be a good game. I knew the Dolphins didn't stand a chance against Tom Brady and his crew, but E.C. and I would have a great time, regardless of the final score.

When I picked him up, he was practically bouncing off the walls, telling me all about the animals and performances he'd seen the night before at the circus. He was also pretty happy about his new pants, telling me over and over again how his momma had bought him blue jeans and they were big boy pants with a zipper and everything. I was glad that Bella had been able to do that for him, because of how happy it had made him.

At the game, we got hot dogs and slushies, just like E.C. wanted, plus I bought him a big foam finger and a little stuffed dolphin. Our seats weren't the greatest, but we ended up on the side where a lot of touchdowns by the Patriots were made. E.C. cheered and yelled along with me and all the other fans, and by the time the game was over, he was beaming and happy, despite the somber mood in the crowd.

Over the next week, I spoke with my attorney a few times. I let him know the financial situation for Bella and her family, and the fact that I didn't want to cause any undo stress for them. He assured me that if things were amicable between us, then he could represent both of us, and it wouldn't cost too much more than what I was already paying him. I was happy with the outcome, and the next Tuesday when I was dropping off E.C., I asked Renee if I could talk to Bella for a minute. When she came out of her bedroom, she looked horrible. My heart broke a little bit, and I felt guilty about feeling better over the past several days because I hadn't let myself think about the problems between us.

"Hi, Edward," she said, her voice soft and quiet. She had sweats on with her hair pulled back into a low ponytail. Bella also seemed to be slouching a bit, clearly uncomfortable being in my presence.

"Hey," I said. "So, I just wanted to let you know that I talked to my attorney. He said that as long as we can be amicable and come to some easy agreements, he can represent both of us and it won't cost you anything." I decided not to tell her that I was just paying more for a different representation package, knowing that she would be upset about me spending money on her.

"Oh, okay."

"So, he said he'd call you sometime soon and set up a time for us to meet and get things figured out. He's got kind of a basic 50/50 agreement that a lot of people like, so I think he's gonna go with that, if you're okay with it."

She looked up at me, her eyes rimmed with red. It was then that I noticed the dark, puffy bags underneath her eyes and how sad she looked. "Half the time?" she asked.

"I just want time with him, Bella. I wanna feel like I'm pulling my weight as his father, and I want him with me." I let out a long sigh, looking down at the floor. "I don't want to hurt you, despite what you might think. I just want things to be fair between us. I figure we can have a regular plan, but we can always be open for changes. Things come up, you know? I want to be able to work things out between us, but still have something set in stone, just to protect us both."

"Alright," she mumbled, lifting her hand to push a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thanks, Bella. I'll see you later," I said before turning and walking out the door. I fought the urge to turn around and look at her again. I wondered for a moment why she looked so upset, and why she was taking things so hard. It wasn't like we'd been getting along that great before, so what was different now? I felt bad walking away from her, but I knew it was for the best. She didn't need me upsetting her anymore, and I needed to keep that in mind.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The rest of the week flew by and soon enough it was time for my weekend with E.C. again. Angela had called on Thursday morning to ask if I'd copy my notes from class for her. She wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be there, but said that she'd be by to pick them up on Saturday if she was better by then. I asked if there was anything I could do to help—bring her chicken soup, cough medicine, get her crackers and 7-Up—but she insisted it was just girl problems, and I was glad when she didn't elaborate. She joked a bit, reminding me that these kinds of issues where common for doctors to deal with, and I gently reminded her that I was planning on going into sports medicine, not gynecology. She still had a good laugh at my squeamishness, and it was nice to feel her lightheartedness and the affect it had on me.

Saturday morning E.C. was playing with Sadie in the backyard when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said, knowing it was Angela after seeing her name on my caller I.D.

"Hey Edward, are you home? Can I come get those notes from class?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just buzz yourself in when you get here." I reminded her of the address, gave her the gate code, then went outside to tell E.C. it was time to get dressed. He hadn't met any of my friends from class yet, but they'd all seen his pictures. I wasn't sure how he'd react, though I knew he was always fine with Bella's friends.

Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door, and E.C. ran towards it. I laughed as I followed at a slower pace, watching him jump up and down in excitement as he shook the handle.

"Daddy! Da door! Der's someone at da door, Daddy!"

"Watch out, let's see who it is." I had told him that a school friend of mine was coming over, which was why he needed to get out of his pajamas. When we opened the door, Angela was standing there and she smiled when she saw me.

"Hey Edward, thanks so much for this."

"Sure thing, come in," I said, stepping out of the way so that she could walk into the living room. E.C. suddenly ducked behind me, his arms wrapping around my thigh as he tried to hide from our guest. When his little head poked around from behind me, Angela noticed him.

"Well, hello. You must be E.C. Your daddy has told me all about you. How are you today?" she said, holding her hand out for him to shake.

"Hi," E.C. said, his mouth against my jeans, muffling his words.

"He's a little shy, he hasn't met any of my friends before," I explained. "You can say hi. This is my friend Angela. Can you shake her hand?" I asked him, ruffling his hair a bit with my hand.

"Hi Angewa," he said, stepping out to the side a bit and reaching for her hand.

"Hey, is that Star Wars on your shirt? I like Star Wars," she said. E.C. grinned up at her happily.

"Yeah, dis is Dard Vader, I like him. Him gots a black cape 'cause he's da bad guy. Him breathe's real loud, too. See?" He then proceeded to breathe like Darth Vader, making a very breathy "Luke" sound somewhere in the middle of it.

"Wow, you say that really great. Have you seen those movies?" Angela asked.

E.C. nodded. "Yup, I got's dem on DVD. Momma buyed dem for me. I got some Lego's and a game, too. You wanna pway wif me? You can come ta my house and pway."

"I would love that," she said before smiling up at me. "He's so cute, Edward."

"Thanks. I'll claim the cuteness, but the Star Wars nerdiness comes from his mom," I said with a laugh, knowing that it was most likely Phil that had gotten my son addicted to it.

"Hey now, Star Wars is cool, huh E.C.?"

"Yeah, Daddy, is cool." I watched my son sidle up next to Angela, his smile beaming from his little face. "You wanna see my room? I gots lots a toys in der." He reached up and grabbed Angela's hand, pulling her along with him toward the hallway.

"Is this okay?" she whispered, looking a little hesitant about following him into the house.

"It's fine, be my guest." I laughed at E.C.'s determination. Then I followed them into his bedroom, where he proceeded to pull out every toy he had in the house and instruct Angela on the best way to play with them all. The three of us laughed a lot, and when it was time for lunch, E.C. invited Angela to eat with us, thoroughly impressing her with his PB&J sandwich making skills.

After swinging on the play-set for a while, E.C. started yawning a bit and I knew it was time for a nap. I tucked him into his bed, then laughed when he asked Angela to read him a story. I was sure she had things to do that day other then entertaining my son, but he seemed so happy around her. I was enjoying myself, too, so I just went along with it.

"He's such a sweet little boy, Edward," Angela said as we sat in my living room drinking some beers. "I'm really glad I came over here today, I had a lot of fun."

"Thanks, I think he's quite taken with you, as well." I smiled at her, nudging her with my elbow. "I hope you're into younger men."

"Funny!" she laughed, "I'm not dating for a very long time, don't you worry. Maybe by the time I'm ready, he'll be legal."

We both laughed a bit more before I pulled out the notes from our class and we started going over them. It was a good refresher for me, too, since at our next class there would be a test over the material, and I hadn't opened a book yet that weekend. E.C. kept me too busy to even think about studying.

Angela stayed until E.C. woke up from his nap, and then she kissed him on the cheek as she left, promising to stop by and see him the next time he was over for the weekend. E.C. let her know that it would be Halloween. He wanted her to help me take him Trick or Treating, to which she simply blushed and told him she would love it. As we watched her drive away, E.C. waved happily after her, then darted back into the house calling for Sadie.

Sunday night I dropped E.C. off at Bella's, telling Phil that my attorney had called and suggested Friday for a meeting. He assured me that Bella had talked to Mr. Jenks and that she would be there. I was nervous about the meeting, but I had a feeling things would be fine, so I tried not to think about it too much.

Monday evening I got a call from Bella, but I was in the middle of a study group and couldn't take it. By the time I got done, it was too late to call her back. Since she hadn't left a message, I decided it must not have been too important. Over the next couple of days, she called several times, leaving a few messages. Her tone in them sounded different, sadder than it had been the last time I saw her, and I wondered why. E.C. seemed happy as always on my days with him, and I was curious as to what was going on. I decided it would be better that I didn't talk to Bella, especially since I had a few tests coming up that week. I always felt a big drop in my mood after listening to one of Bella's messages, and I didn't need the negative attitude to spill over into my class work and my grades.

Friday afternoon I drove to Jason Jenks' office on Friday afternoon for our meeting with Bella. When I arrived, her car was already there, and when I entered the office, I saw her sitting alone in one of the chairs. I let the receptionist know I was there and then sat down in a chair across from Bella. She never looked up at me, but I knew she had heard my voice and my name. She knew I was there; she was just avoiding me like I'd been doing to her. When Mr. Jenks called us into his office, I waited for her to go first, then followed her into the room.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to meet you both. I'm Jason Jenks and I'll be representing the two of you in your custody matter. Do either of you have any questions before we get started?"

Bella silently shook her head and I mumbled a quiet "No" as we sat next to each other. I finally took a moment to notice what she was wearing. She had on a long sleeved shirt and a flowing skirt that hit just above her ankles. She looked more dressed up than I'd seen her before. I wondered if maybe this was a more formal occasion than my jeans and polo shirt were acceptable for. Of course, Mr. Jenks was wearing a suit, but it hadn't even occurred to me to dress up at all.

"Now, as I mentioned to both of you previously, one option that many of my more agreeable clients choose is what I call the 50/50 plan. Basically, what this plan is about is that each of you will be responsible for the care of your son 50 percent of the time. This plan lends some stability to his life and lets him spend more than just a couple of nights in one home, while spending the majority of nights in another home. Most children seem to thrive under these conditions, and I'm sure that's the main goal you have for your son."

Bella and I both nodded.

"How exactly does this work?" I asked.

"It's really rather simple," he said, pulling out a graph with highlighted days on it. "One of you will have custody of E.C. every Monday and Tuesday. The other will have him every Wednesday and Thursday. Then you will alternate the weekends, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. For example, Edward might have him on Monday's and Tuesday's, so every other weekend, E.C. will be with him for five days, Friday through Tuesday. Then Bella will have him Wednesday through Sunday. Then Edward would have him Monday and Tuesday, Bella Wednesday and Thursday, then Edward Friday through Tuesday again. It's quite simple and really allows you to plan things for not only the weekends, but also during the week. What do you think about that?" he asked.

The plan seemed like a great idea to me. I wanted more time with E.C., and having five days in a row would be incredible. Of course, it would hurt only seeing him two days the next week, but that was about what I had now, so all in all I would still be spending a lot more time with him.

"Well," Bella hesitantly said. "What about the days he's in preschool? Like, now Edward picks him up on Tuesday's and Thursday's for the afternoon. If I have him on Thursday's, will he stay in preschool, or will Edward still pick him up?"

It was a good question, and one that I hadn't thought about. "I'd be happy to keep watching him on that afternoon, if you want me to. I don't mind, Bella. Besides, it would save money in daycare expenses, right? Plus maybe you could redo your work schedule and be off on the days you have him."

She nodded, acknowledging that she'd heard me and then let out a deep breath. "Alright, if this is good with Edward, then it's fine with me."

"I'm happy with this," I said, excited that maybe things really would be as easy as I'd hoped they would be.

"Alright then, any preference as to what days you have E.C., Bella?" Mr. Jenks asked.

"Um, I always have to work Monday's, so I guess I'll take Wednesday and Thursday. I think I can redo my schedule on those days."

I smiled, happy that she was willing to make some compromises for me and our son. "Monday and Tuesday are fine with me," I said. "But I would like to talk a little about child support."

"Good point, Edward. Now, one thing about this arrangement is that typically there is no child support made simply because no parent has the child more often than the other. Care is evenly divided, so it is assumed that each parent will pay an equal amount toward the child's living expenses."

I nodded, as did Bella.

"Well, my question wasn't exactly about that. I know I explained the whole time-line of things to you in regards to our past. I was wondering if I should be paying back child support, and if you could recommend a decent amount for that to be."

Bella stiffened in her seat, obviously not happy about the subject. "I don't want your money, Edward. I've already told you a million times."

"It's not for you, Bella. It's for E.C., and I'm not gonna slack on my duties anymore. I want to make things up to you, and to him."

"Whatever," Bella said in a huff before angling her body away from mine. Mr. Jenks covered up a smile on his face, then wrote down some information on a paper.

"This is what I would suggest, as far as an amount goes. I would also suggest that you open a savings account, Mr. Cullen, and let the money gain interest so that your son can draw on that in the future. Maybe look at this as a college fund for his education. I don't think Ms. Swan would have issue with you establishing a college fund for E.C., would you?"

"No," Bella said. "That's fine."

I was happy with the way things had turned out, and after Mr. Jenks entered all the information in his computer, Bella and I were signing the custody agreement documents and looking over our new calendars. Since it was Bella's weekend with E.C., she would have him for the next few days, and then I would have him Monday and Tuesday, then again the following Friday. We had also agreed that until Bella could change her work schedule, I would continue to pick him up on Thursday afternoons and keep him until either Bella or Renee could pick him up. I was happy to have the extra time with him, and glad that Bella was okay with it. We both knew he'd be fine in daycare all afternoon, but I figured if I was home anyway, why not have him with me?

As Bella and I walked out to our cars, I noticed she was exceptionally quiet. Each time I tried to talk to her, she either ignored me or muttered one word replies. Finally, when we reached her car, I told her goodbye and turned to walk across the row to where my car was parked.

"Who's Angela?" she called out.

I stopped and slowly turned around to face her. "What?"

"Angela. Who is she?" Bella's expression was not an angry one, but it certainly wasn't happy either.

"Um, Angela is a friend from school. Why?" How did she know about Angela? I was thinking back as quickly as I could, trying to figure out how she knew about my friend, and coming up blank.

"Well, when E.C. and I were getting his Halloween costume the other day, he was raving on and on about Daddy's friend Angela, and how she was going to take him Trick or Treating with Daddy. Are you dating her?"

_Oh crap_, I thought._ E.C._ I wondered if maybe Bella had pressed him for information, the way I'd done before. I knew there was nothing more than friendship between Angela and myself, but in the eyes of a three year old, was that clear?

"I don't know what's going on for Halloween. E.C. asked her when she was leaving my house a few days ago." Bella's eyes widened at my response. "She just came over to get some notes, that's it. She was sick and missed class, so I copied my notes for her. E.C. liked her, so she hung around and played for a little while and we ate lunch, but that was all."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest, her chin jutting out a bit. "Really? Because he said that he played with her and ate lunch with her, and then he took a nap and when he woke up she was still there, having big people drinks with Daddy on the couch. I just hope he didn't see her doing anything else with Daddy on that couch."

My brow furrowed at her accusation. "What? What are you thinking, Bella? You really think I'd do something like that with my son in the house?"

"I don't know, Edward. It doesn't seem like it ever really mattered before who was in the house, or the room, for that matter."

I walked closer to her, my anger rising quickly. "I told you, I'm not like that anymore. I wanted to be with you, but you've made that nearly impossible. I flew across the whole country just for you, but you don't seem to want me. What do you care if I date someone else? It's none of your business."

"Well, it's my business who you have over when my son is there," she said, not backing down from the fight that was building between us.

"Just like it's my business what friends you have over when my son is at your house, right? Maybe, like, I don't know, Jacob? You think he's a good guy for E.C. to be around? After your party, you think that's a good idea?"

I was angry now, and I knew I needed to leave before I did or said something I really regretted. I seemed to be having a lot of those moments lately, and I suddenly saw the wisdom in my plan to stay away from Bella. I hadn't been this worked up since our last fight.

"Just do what and who you want, Edward, but leave my son out of it. Don't go introducing him to your whores, he doesn't need that." Bella turned around and stuck the key into her door lock.

"Angela's a nice girl, Bella. She's nothing like that, so don't call her that. She's my friend, which is more than I can say for you lately. You're the mother of my son, and you can't seem to say two nice things to me."

"Yeah, go defend her. Whatever," she mumbled under her breath.

"She's a good person, Bella! You don't know her, you can't judge. I like her, okay? She makes me laugh and she's smart. She reminds of you, or at least of how you used to be. I like that. I miss it. She makes me feel good, happy. I wanna be happy, Bella. Don't you?"

Bella stood still, not moving. I wanted her to say something—anything—but she didn't.

"She's my friend, Bella. I have several friends at school, now. I like them all, they're good people. You know...this is just getting too hard. Maybe there's nothing between us to hope for anymore. I feel like we'd both be better off if we just let this go. I'm tired of fighting with you, Bella. I think we'd be better off if we just didn't talk anymore."

"If that's what you want," she whispered. I could hear the emotion in her voice. I knew that's not what she wanted, and I knew it wasn't what I really wanted, but I was at my wit's end with everything. I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Yeah, I guess so." I turned and walked away from her, sitting in my car until she'd pulled out of the parking lot. I may have been angry and upset with her, but I wanted to make sure she got away safely.

I was frustrated, upset and not sure of what to do anymore. Maybe it would be better if I just let her go. Would we would both be happier if we didn't have this possibility of a future hanging over our heads? If we both moved on, could we ever manage to be civil with each other in the future? I wanted to be happy. I wanted to spend my life loving someone. I wanted to have that with her, but maybe it wasn't meant to be.

I didn't know what to do, and when I got home, I sat on the couch thinking about it for a long time. I knew I had all weekend alone, so I called Angela and set up a study group, inviting everyone in our little gang over to my house. Randall had something else going on, but Angela, Carmen, and Peter all came over Saturday afternoon. The four of us spent the evening studying and talking and goofing around. When Peter suggested we all head downtown to a club, I was resistant. Though, it sounded like fun and I wanted to let off a little steam, so I tagged along with them.

The music was loud and the drinks were good, but the atmosphere just wasn't what I wanted anymore. I would have preferred to be home lying next to my son as we watched a cartoon and laughed at Sadie. Angela seemed to sense my quickly souring mood, and she pulled me out to the dance floor, cheering me up with her silly dance moves. Soon Carmen and Peter joined us, and for the rest of the night we danced and laughed and had a good time. They were good friends to me, and I was happy to have them. As Angela and I talked on and off all evening, I wondered if maybe there could ever be anything more between us. I'd never dated a friend before. Heck, the only girl I'd ever really dated was Bella, and that was an instant love kinda thing. My connection with Angela was different. I watched her dance and laugh with Carmen, and I thought about my life. Could I ever love her the way I loved Bella? Could I ever love _anyone_ the way I loved Bella?

"What?" Angela yelled at me from the dance floor, her head tilted to the side and a puzzled look on her face. She'd caught me watching her as I sat thinking.

"Nothing, you're just really goofy is all," I replied, making her and Carmen burst out in laughter.

_Yeah,_ I thought to myself. _I could maybe love her._

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o**

**A/N: Soooooo, how much do you hate me right now? :D Remember...Lemons, Rainbows, and HEA's will be here soon. :) Hang in there. :)**

**Now, for some recommendations...**

_**Sultry**_** by ****Rochelle Allison****. I love anything by her, and this story is wonderful so far. She does the Fictionista's Witfit Prompts each day, so the chapters are short and update pretty much daily. This particular story is incredible. Bella used to date Masen. Masen turned out to be a cheater. Masen died. Masen has a twin brother named Edward. Edward saw Bella's picture when she was dating Masen. Edward wanted Bella. Masen said no. Now that Masen's gone, what's to stop Edward from pursuing Bella? Nothing, that's what. :D I love it! It's incredible, give it a try.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7151998/1/Fictionista_Workshops_Summer_2011_Sultry**

**Speaking of the Witfit Prompts...here's another one that I LOVE. It's by ****jennde,**** and it's nameless. Just called **_**Fictionista Workshop WitFit Prompts, Summer 2011**_**, it's the story of a widowed Bella and her young daughter, struggling to get on with their lives. Imagine their luck when new neighbor Edward moves in with his young son. It uses the daily prompts, like**_** Sultry**_** does, and it's got shorter chapters that update almost daily. I'm totally loving this story, too. Seriously, check it out! jennde writes wonderful stuff. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7169979/1/Fictionista_Workshop_WitFit_Prompts_Summer_2011**

**And something complete...**

_**The Work Boyfriend **_**by ****juliaaaah.**** My prereader ****Unchanged Affections**** rec'd this one to me, and it's wonderful! Bella and Edward end up working together, and even though Bella is married, she thinks happily, sparks fly. Soon enough Bella finds herself torn between two wonderful men. This story doesn't have NEARLY enough reviews for how good it is, so read, review, love it! It's good, I promise. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5471917/1/The_Work_Boyfriend**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early. The new review system thing goes through the PM system, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can contact you. :)**

**Plus if you review, I'll send you a teaser for next chapter. You'll like it, I promise. Angst is amping up for the next few chapters. I know you're excited...**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted.  
Links to both of those are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Alright, I've got my big girl panties on, so let me have it...**


	28. Chapter 28 Don't Know What You've Got

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an angsty heart, and it's really loving the idea of the next few chapters! If you didn't review last chapter, you missed out on the little chapter by chapter break down of what's coming up. I know, a few people think I'm ruining the mystery of the story, but you still don't know WHAT is coming, only how much longer until it's here! I might send it out again in this chapter's review replies...you never know...**

**And I just have to say...I'm shocked at how many of you reviewed the last chapter! Seriously, tears streaming down my giddy cheeks, kinda shocked. :D Last chapter was the highest reviewed yet, and by like 20 reviews! Thank you so much! You'll never be able to fully understand how much I appreciate your support and comments. **

**Thanks to my uberbeta**_** coldplaywhore.**_** I did better this chapter at avoiding the word MAYBE, and apparently overused the word HOPE. Maybe that's a sign...I'm hopeful for this story... Maybe not, who knows. :D**

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44, **____**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. **_**They are all so helpful and good to me. I don't know what I'd do without them... :)**

**Thanks to**** My Constants ****and**** My Girlies. ****They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey**_**, **____**Mrs. Robward.**__** S**_**he's kinda hot...I've seen pictures. Cute ones of her...at Graceland...with her hubs... He's not as cute as she is, but that's why she's my wifey and he's not my hubs. Well, and plus I already have a hubs, and I think the law frowns upon having more than one of each. Or so I hear 'cause I watch that whole Sister Wives show on TLC. :D**

**The girls that got this early were**_**: **____**ShimmeryPrincess, NZTwilighter, cahtx, Nrbl1, QueenAnnie1, sujari6, wirttenbyabdex, withloveiread, Spunkie09, pancamcris23,**_**and **___**nola09**__**.**_** Hope you enjoyed it! :) Like always, I pick totally at random each chapter, and you can always get picked more than once. It's fun. :)**

**Here we go... Think we'll start with a little Bella POV, just to see where she's at with things. :D**

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o**

WHTM Ch 28 – Don't Know What You've Got

_I can't tell you baby what went wrong  
I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago  
I let it show  
I can't give you back what's been hurt  
Heart aches come and go and  
All that's left are the words  
I can't let go_

_If we take some time, think it over baby  
Take some time, let me know  
If you really wanna go_

_Don't know what you got til it's gone  
Don't know what it is I did so wrong  
Now I know what I got  
It's just this song  
And it ain't easy to get back takes so long _

_Do you wanna see me beggin' baby  
Can't you give me just one more day  
Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately  
I've been looking for the words to say _

"Don't Know What You've Got" by Cinderella

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

BPOV

The custody agreement was weighing heavily on me. I'd never spent more than a couple of days away from E.C., and even that was just since Edward moved to Florida. As much as I hated the idea of not seeing my son for five entire days, I was trying to acknowledge the need Edward had to spend time with E.C. I'd told myself over and over again that it was only fair, that I should be grateful my son was lucky enough to have a father who so willingly accepted him after the mistakes of my past. I was forever indebted to Edward for all the time he spent with our son and for how happy he always was to change his schedule and accommodate mine.

I knew I was fortunate. However...I was jealous, too.

When Edward first told me he was coming to Florida, I was excited. I hoped that with him being so close it meant that maybe we would get a second chance at being together. Then reality stepped in and it seemed with each passing day that we got further and further from the "us" that we'd once been.

For so long, he had tried to fix things between us, yet I kept pushing him away out of fear. I didn't want to be hurt, I didn't understand how he could so easily forgive me for keeping his son from him and most of all, I didn't want to ruin the memory of what we had been years before. At least with Edward at arms length, I could hold tight to the past and how good things had been between us. I didn't think we could ever live up to that, especially not now that reality had set in.

When he mentioned making legal custody arrangements, it felt like he'd finally given up. Even though we hadn't been speaking to one another at times, and we'd been angry with each other, I'd never given up hope. Somewhere in the back of my mind I kept reassuring myself that we would work things out. If he really did still love me, then somehow we would find a way to be together. After fighting with Edward in his car the day he told me he'd spoken with an attorney, I spent hours on the beach, coming to terms with the fact that he obviously didn't think the same way I did. He was done.

It wasn't even the girl I had seen him with. After freaking out that day, I listened to my mother and told myself she was just a friend, or maybe just a classmate. Even though the laugh and smile I'd seen him give her used to be mine, we had been apart for four years. Maybe that was just the way he was now. I didn't know for sure, so I decided to hold on to hope and not completely lose faith in him.

Then E.C. came home and told me all about the pretty girl from Daddy's class that spent the day with him. That along with the custody agreement had pushed me over the edge. I had to finally face the fact that Edward and I were over.

The day he dropped by to tell me that he had talked to his attorney, I'd been having a bad week. Obviously, he didn't remember, but that week was the anniversary of the first day we met—the first time he kissed me. Five years earlier, when I walked into Alice's kitchen, my life had changed forever.

However, there was a part of me, deep down inside, that thought if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't. I never would have agreed to go to Forks—I should have stayed with my mother and Phil. The other part of me knew that even though things hadn't turned out the way I'd hoped, I would never give up the love I felt for Edward, and I couldn't even imagine not having E.C. It was worth it to me, regardless of how things turned out in the end. Every time I looked at my son, I was reminded of how wonderful life could be, and the fairy tale that I'd once had. I could never regret that.

As much as I didn't want the custody arrangement, I agreed to it. I decided I was willing to give up what I wanted, so that my son and Edward could have what they needed. One thing he'd said to me played over and over in my mind. I'd had a thousand nights with E.C., while Edward only had five. It wasn't right or fair, and I couldn't deny either of them anymore. Especially not when I saw how happy spending time together made them both. E.C. needed his daddy, and Edward needed his son, and I wanted that for them.

I called Edward several times, just wanting to talk to him. I thought that maybe if we were able to sit together for a little while, we could finally say some of the things that we needed to say to each other. I didn't want our meeting to be over some issue that would set both of us off, which was how things had been so far. I felt like if we could just go somewhere alone, we could work things out. Whether he wanted to be with me anymore or not, I wanted to talk to him. There were things that I needed to tell him, things that I'd been keeping from him that I needed to set straight. I wanted to make him understand that I wasn't angry. I didn't want him to think that I was upset about the custody thing. I wanted him to know that I wished things could be fair between us, too, and that I wanted E.C. to spend time with him.

Each call went straight to voice mail and each message I left went unreturned. He obviously didn't want to talk to me, and as much as it hurt, I continued to try and see his side of things. When E.C. went on and on about Daddy's new friend and how nice she was, I had a good idea of why Edward wasn't calling me back. Even though I didn't think I could break any more, I did.

I tried to be strong and to do what I had to. I had a feeling that the first weekend E.C. stayed with Edward for an entire five days, I would cry myself to sleep each night.

I felt horrible taking E.C. to Edward's on Monday morning because I knew he wasn't feeling well. He'd been complaining about a sore throat, and I told Edward about it, giving him the medicine that E.C. had been taking. He assured me that he would call if things got any worse, and when I didn't hear from him by that afternoon, I was hopeful that things were better.

I was a little surprised when Edward called Monday night and asked if I could bring over E.C.'s special blanket the next day. Apparently, I had forgotten to pack it for him and he wanted it. Edward mentioned that both of them had missed school that day because E.C. was feeling so bad, and that most likely they'd stay home the next day, too. I told him I'd drop it off Tuesday morning on my way to school. After talking to E.C. for a few minutes on the phone, I felt better and not quite as nervous about being away from him. He told me that Edward was planning to sleep on the floor of E.C.'s bedroom that night, just so that he wouldn't feel alone. I couldn't deny the fact that Edward was a good father, and I was glad my son had someone who obviously cared so much about him.

Tuesday morning I was running a few minutes ahead of schedule. I was anxious to see my little boy and make sure he was alright. I hurried over to Edward's house, using the gate code he'd given me so that I could get into the community. As I pulled onto his street, I was surprised to see a car parked in his driveway. I didn't recognize it, and for a moment I wondered if maybe I had the wrong house. As I got closer, I knew it was Edward's house, and I tried to imagine who would be over at such an early hour. It was only a few minutes after seven in the morning, so I was a slightly confused. I parked on the street, grabbed the bag with E.C.'s things, and quickly walked to the door.

After knocking, I waited for a few seconds before hearing footsteps inside the house. As the door opened, I was shocked at who answered. It was the girl that I'd seen Edward eating lunch with a few weeks earlier. The girl that E.C. told me he'd spent the day with. Angela was her name, and as I looked her over—taking in the wrinkled clothes she was wearing, the hair pulled back in a low pony tail, and the backpack slung over her shoulder—my stomach knotted and my breathing picked up. I stood there, frozen and unable to speak, as we stared at one another.

"Hey, you must be Bella, right?" she asked, smiling at me before holding her hand out to me. "I'm Angela, Edward's friend. Nice to meet you."

"Hi," I managed to mumble, reaching up numbly to shake her hand.

"Edward said you'd be by to drop something off. He was up half the night with E.C., but he's finally asleep now, so Edward's in the shower. I told him I'd wait, just to make sure E.C. was okay if he woke up, but I'm gonna be late for class. Now that you're here, I can take off."

She knew Edward had been up half the night? Everything I was seeing pointed toward the fact that she'd spent the night in Edward's house. I couldn't speak, my thoughts were all over the place, and I felt sick. He really was moving on, and as if that wasn't bad enough, he was doing it with my son in the same house.

"E.C. is so sweet and funny. He just says the cutest things. You must be so proud of him," she said, hitching the backpack higher onto her shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks."

I looked at her—really looked at her. She was a few inches taller than I was, but our hair was almost the same color. Her eyes were brown like mine, but they were a lighter shade and had little gold flecks around the edges of them. I was instantly jealous of her long, curly eye lashes. It didn't help that even though she looked like she'd just rolled out of bed, she was pretty enough to walk a fashion show runway. As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn't. Her smile seemed so kind and genuine, and she had an aura about her that made me feel comfortable and at ease. No wonder E.C. liked her so much. I found it hard to dislike her, even though she was obviously involved with the love of my life.

"Well, I gotta run. You can head in if you want. Like I said, Edward just got in the shower, so if you see him, tell him I took off. I'll see you later, Bella. It was really nice to meet you, finally."

With that, Angela stepped past me and jogged toward her car. I watched her back out of the driveway and then wave to me as she sped down the street. I stepped inside the house, closing the door behind me. I wanted to hate her with every cell of my body, but she was so genuinely nice. I could imagine being friends with her, but with Edward factored into the equation, I never wanted to see her again. It angered me that she'd been spending so much time with my son, and I wondered just how long Edward had known her. Had he come to Miami with her on the side already? If not, and he had just met her, how was he comfortable with her being around our son in such a short amount of time?

My emotions were all over the place and I was confused about exactly how I should be feeling. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Letting out a deep breath, I tried to calm myself before I hurried into E.C.'s bedroom, dropping his bag by the bed and sitting down next to him. He was sound asleep, though his forehead still felt a little warm. He looked like an angel, and I traced his face with my fingertips, memorizing each curve and bump like I always did. I pushed his hair back off his forehead a little bit, and then leaned over to kiss him lightly. "I love you, baby. Forever," I whispered, then sat back and watched him.

A few minutes later, when I heard movement from Edward's room, I stood to leave. As I walked into the hallway, I saw his bedroom door open a bit and he walked past it, covered in only a towel. When the towel fell to the floor, my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't move as I watched him get dressed, pulling his clothes on and covering the skin that had me so captivated. Once his shirt was on and he was finished dressing, I knew I had to go. I didn't want him to find me standing there, so I turned and hurried down the hall to the living room.

I stood quietly by the door, listening as he went into E.C.'s bedroom. I hoped he would notice the bag on the floor. Not wanting him to see me, I carefully slipped out of the house, locking the door before I closed it. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I needed a plan and quickly. Angela had been nice, though I wanted to hate her. If Edward was moving on, then maybe I should too, but was that something I wanted? For the moment, I didn't know, so I tried instead to focus on school and the test I would soon be taking. I pulled away from Edward's house, more confused than I had been when I arrived.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

EPOV

My first day as a father to a sick little boy was an eye opener. I knew he wasn't feeling well just by looking at him. As the day wore on and I sat with him, he was so lethargic and quiet that it freaked me out a bit. He normally wasn't anything like that, and it worried me to see him that way. I made sure to give him the medicine that Bella had brought, and I was thankful she had thought to do that. I made a note to myself to stock up on children's medications since all I had in the house was some Advil and an old bottle of antacids.

I texted Angela and asked if she could copy her notes from Monday's class for me since I knew I'd be staying home with E.C. There was no way he could go to his preschool as sick as he was, plus I didn't want to let him out of my sight. He needed to be with either Bella or me, not some stranger or teacher. Angela let me know that she'd bring the notes over on Wednesday, and that she'd get the Tuesday class notes through a friend of hers. At that point, I was glad I finally had some friends that I could count on in times like this.

Randall emailed me on Monday afternoon and offered to study with me Tuesday night, letting me know that we'd be having a quiz in our Wednesday class. Because of that, Angela said she'd bring the Monday class notes to me on Tuesday before she went to school. When she showed up on my doorstep at six thirty in the morning, she looked like she'd had a rough morning already, but she was smiling and happy as usual.

"Hey Edward. I hope you don't mind, I brought you and E.C. some doughnuts. I know he likes the sprinkled ones." She held up a box of doughnuts from a local bakery and grinned at me.

"You didn't have to do that," I said. I tried to control my smile, secretly thankful for the sugary treats she'd brought. E.C. had been up whining and coughing half the night, and I was dragging that morning. I hadn't been to the grocery store in days and was almost out of food, so the doughnuts were a very welcome surprise.

"It's no problem. I had to stop and get some for my project group in my class, so I figured maybe you and E.C. could use something fun for breakfast."

"Thanks. Come on in, sorry things are a little messy. He wasn't feeling well yesterday, so I didn't do much other than take care of him."

My living room was littered with blankets, toys, and tissues. E.C. and I had sat on the couch pretty much all day, watching movies and cartoons. I enjoyed the time I got to spend with him, even if it was because he was so sick.

"Well, here are the notes from yesterday. We have a quiz tomorrow, so you'll wanna make sure and study these sometime today," she said, pulling a small stack of papers from her backpack.

"Thanks. Randall's coming by tonight so we can study, which should help."

"Oh good. He told me that he'd check with you. I think Peter was gonna try and come with him, but Claire has something going on, and I have a class tonight, so we won't be able to make it. I'm sure you boys will get lots of studying done without us here, though." She smiled and laughed a little, then pointed out a few sections in her notes that I needed to pay special attention to.

Sitting down on the couch, I closed my eyes and sighed. "Man, this parenting thing is exhausting," I said. I rubbed my hand over my eyes and debated tearing into the box of doughnuts she'd brought, just so that I could get some sugar into my system.

"Is he doing okay?" she asked, sitting down on the edge of the couch cushion next to me.

"Yeah, he's fine. He was up half the night. He kept coughing and stuff. I felt so bad; there was nothing I could do. I gave him his medicine and even called my dad a couple of times, but it's just something he has to get over, I guess."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I guess that's kinda how things go sometimes."

Angela was really a nice person, and ever since the night at the club, I'd been looking at her a little differently. I didn't feel like I was ready to move on from the possibility of being with Bella. When I finally came to that time, I wondered if Angela would be someone I might be interested in trying that with. I didn't even know how receptive she would be to that idea, but it was something I thought about.

"Hey, do you think you could stick around for a few minutes? I really need a shower and I don't want E.C. to wake up and not be able to find me."

"Sure, I can hang around for a little while."

"You sure? That would really help me out. I think Bella's supposed to come by sometime and drop off a blanket for E.C., so if she does, can you let her in? I don't know if she'll want to see him or not, but I kinda figure she will."

E.C. had cried about his favorite blanket the night before as I tried to get him to bed. After finally agreeing to sleep on his floor so that he could be comfortable in his bed, I called Bella and asked if she could drop the blanket off on her way to class. She assured me she would, and since her first class was at eight o'clock, I thought she'd probably be by sometime after seven.

"Of course. I'll wait around until she gets here and then I'll take off. Maybe if E.C. is still asleep, you guys could talk for a few minutes." She put her hand on my arm, looking at me with sympathy in her eyes. "You really need to talk to her, Edward. You need to tell her how you feel, before it's too late."

I'd talked to Angela quite a bit about my issues with Bella, and surprisingly, she seemed to be on Bella's side. Angela always encouraged me to talk to Bella about things and to try to smooth out the issues we had, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was still angry and hurt, and I didn't know if I was ready to let go of it all yet. My pride made me stubborn, but Angela was doing a good job at knocking down my walls.

"Yeah, maybe. Thanks, I'll see you Wednesday morning, okay?"

"Alright. Have a good day, and tell E.C. hi for me." Angela smiled at me, reaching over to grab the TV remote control.

I looked in at E.C. as I walked toward my bedroom, making sure that he was okay. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I hoped that soon he would be back to his normal self.

After my shower, I checked in on E.C. again, and noticed a small bag next to his bed. I realized Bella must have arrived. I felt E.C.'s head once more, checking for a fever, then walked toward the living room hoping to talk to her. I was surprised to see the room empty, so I looked into the kitchen, but found no one there either.

Walking back into the living room, I noticed movement outside. Bella was getting into her car, slamming the door before she quickly drove away. I wasn't sure why she hadn't stuck around, but assumed that she must still be upset with me and hadn't wanted to talk. I was a little disappointed at not getting to see her, yet relieved that I wouldn't have to talk to her about everything right then. Even though Angela had encouraged me to do it, I wasn't ready, and I looked at Bella's exit that morning as a stay of execution.

Tuesday passed quickly, and by bedtime, E.C. was feeling much better. I dropped him off at Bella's house Wednesday morning before class, and was glad to see that Phil was planning to stay home with him that day. I figured he'd be fine to go to school on Thursday, so I told Phil that I'd pick him up after my class and keep him until Bella was done working.

E.C. and I were home having lunch Thursday afternoon when there was a knock on the door. I was surprised to see Angela standing on the porch, a packet of papers in her hand.

"Hey, I have more handouts from your class. My friend John didn't give them to me when I borrowed his notes to copy them for you. I guess he just forgot or something. Anyway, your professor said the information will be on the final, so I thought you might want this."

I smiled at her, trying not to laugh at her embarrassment. "Thanks, that's nice. You could have just brought it to class next week, you didn't have to come by." I opened the door wider and stepped back, motioning for her to come inside since it was a warm, and humid day outside.

"Thanks, Edward," she said, walking into the house, only to be attacked by E.C. "Hey buddy!" she said. I grinned at the way my son had wrapped himself around Angela's leg, pressing his face into her thigh. She ruffled his hair and smiled down at him, her smile growing wider when he looked up.

"Hi Angewa! We havin' some wunch. You hungry today? You can has somma my samich."

"Oh, I don't know, we'll have to check with your Daddy first," she said.

"Daddy, pwease can Angewa has some wunch wit us?" E.C. looked up at me with his pleading eyes, not moving an inch away from Angela's side.

"Of course she can. I'm sure she'd love another one of your PB&J sandwiches."

E.C. pulled Angela by the hand, and we all went into the kitchen for some sandwiches and chips. After we were done, E.C. asked if we could walk down to the park that was in our neighborhood. We'd been there a few times, and he loved the toys that were there. He seemed to get a little bored after playing on his play set in the back yard, so the park was a welcome change.

The three of us were at the park for well over an hour. E.C. played while Angela and I talked about a few labs we'd worked on, comparing the differences in our findings. Then I pushed E.C. on the swings while Angela tried to swing higher than him. Later, Angela chased him through the pirate ship jungle gym, as I helped him climb down the rope cargo nets.

We were having a lot of fun, and it wasn't until a few raindrops hit me that I realized how dark the sky had grown. I yelled to Angela that we needed to go, then scooped E.C. up into my arms and started walking toward home. Within a minute or two, the sky had opened up and rain was pouring down on us.

We ran, me carrying E.C. in my arms and trying to shield him from the wind and water. He was still getting over his cold and I didn't want him to get sick again. By the time we reached my house, we were all drenched, our clothing soaked and clinging to our skin. E.C.'s teeth were chattering, as were Angela's, and I hurried us all inside. After getting us each a towel, I took E.C. into my bathroom, intent on giving him a warm shower and getting him dressed in some dry clothes. Angela was freezing, I could tell, and I offered the guest bathroom to her, giving her a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to wear while I threw her wet clothes into the dryer.

As soon as E.C.'s warm, dry clothes were on him, he was yawning and I noticed his eyes drooping. I figured Bella would be by soon to pick him up, so rather than settle him into his bed, I set him up on the sofa in the living room with a pillow and blanket. He grabbed one of the stuffed dog toys from his bedroom, and after snuggling up, he was fast asleep.

I was just going back to my bathroom so that I could get a quick shower when Angela came out of the bathroom. Her hair was wet and she was drying it with the towel.

"I wiped my make up off with the washcloth in the shower, I hope that's okay. I think the mascara will come out," she said hesitantly.

"Yeah, that's fine. No biggie," I replied.

As I stood next to her in the hallway, closer to her than I would have normally been, I felt my hand reach up and move a strand of hair that was hanging over her face. I pushed it behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her jaw for a moment too long. As I did, I heard her suck in a sharp breath. Instantly, I stepped back, dropping my hand back down to my side.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. Your hair was just hanging there, and..."

She smiled. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything. Listen, I'll keep an eye on E.C. while you get changed, okay? I gotta wait for my clothes anyway, right?"

"Um, yeah. Thanks."

I rushed down the hallway, closing and locking my bedroom door behind me. Suddenly my head was filled with images of Angela in my shower, me pressing her against the tile wall. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the inappropriate thoughts. She was my friend, and I knew that she wasn't interested in having a relationship anytime soon. I had to stop thinking of her that way, because according to her reaction in the hall minutes earlier, she wasn't thinking of me like that.

After spending a lot more time in the shower than I needed to, and using up all the hot water, I emerged, drying myself off and putting on a pair of jeans. I looked through my closet for my favorite T-shirt. Remembering that I had washed it a few days earlier, then hung it up in the laundry room, I stepped out of my room and went to get it. As I passed the living room, Angela was curled up on the sofa near E.C., her eyes firmly attached to the book she was reading. I snickered a bit, thinking how much she reminded me of Bella, then continued on through the kitchen to the small laundry room. I grabbed my shirt, then thought I'd check on Angela's clothes in the dryer, and see if they were finished. Luck was on my side, and I pulled out her dry clothes and started toward the living room with them.

"Hey Ang, here's your clothes. Nice pink bra, by the way." Stepping into the living room, I froze. Standing in the doorway was Bella, her eyes huge at the sight before her. As I stood frozen—my mind stuck in a reality that was moving too slow for me to understand it—I tried to figure out what the emotions were that were sketched across her face.

I looked at Angela, her hair still wet as she stood wearing my sweat pants and a t-shirt, the stretched out neckline hanging loosely off her shoulder. I was standing in the doorway in nothing but a pair of jeans, my hair and body still slightly wet, as I held out Angela's clothing for her to take.

This was bad. This was very bad.

"Oh my," Bella whispered, her voice sounding like a scream because of the quiet that had fallen over the room.

"Bella, this isn't what you think," I stammered, hoping she'd give me a chance to clear everything up.

"Yeah, Bella, this isn't what it looks like. Nothing was going on," Angela said. Bella looked at her, her eyes narrowing a bit as she took in the clothes that clearly didn't belong to Angela.

"Where's E.C.?" Bella asked. I cautiously pointed toward the sofa, and then watched as Bella's eyes lingered on my hand, which still held Angela's underwear in it.

"Bella, please, let me explain," I said. Bella burst through the door and was over to E.C. in an instant.

"How dare you do this with him here," she growled at me. "You're his father. You're supposed to set a good example for him. Not parade your little girlfriends around in front of him. I can't believe you, Edward!"

She picked him up, and as she moved him, E.C. woke up slightly. "Angewa," he said, looking toward the door at his new friend. "I gonna go home wit Momma. You can stay and pway wif Daddy, now."

Bella's breath rushed out of her lungs as she clutched our son tighter against her chest.

"What were you thinking, Edward? Huh? Or should I ask which head you were thinking with?"

I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't find the words. Things were going downhill so fast, I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried. Angela shrunk back against the wall, most likely waiting for Bella to lash out at her, but she never did. When Bella's eyes looked back toward Angela, I swore that I saw a flash of sadness there, but it was so brief that I couldn't be sure. Besides, what would Bella have to be sad about? She didn't want me, so was she mad that I had friends and she didn't? This was just something she'd have to get over.

Bella hurried down the sidewalk with E.C., not even letting me tell him goodbye. That made me furious, and I stepped outside of the house, dropping Angela's clothes on the sofa and quickly pulling my shirt over my head.

"Bella, wait!" I shouted, hoping that she would stop, but she didn't. She quickly got E.C. buckled into his booster seat, then stepped to her door, opening it and then closing it with a slam. I knew she was angry, and I knew that things she saw didn't look good, but I had nothing to apologize for. Everything she had seen was truly harmless. Regardless of my feelings, I knew in her eyes I was screwed, and as I entered the house, watching them drive away, I closed the door behind me.

Angela wasn't in the room. A few moments later she walked down the hallway, sitting on the edge of the sofa so that she could put her shoes on.

"You don't have to go, you know? She apparently does this whole assuming thing a lot."

"No, I'm sure she doesn't. Stop trying to be so nice to me. Bella has every right to hate me. I know I would if I was in her place."

Angela's shoes were on and she grabbed her purse.

"Sorry, Edward. Call me if you need anything, and I'll call you, too, okay?"

"Alright," I said. Hoping that I could lessen the embarrassment that both of us clearly felt over the situation, I grabbed her around the waist as she walked by, pulling her against me and hugging her. "I'm sorry, Ang, I really am. I don't think this Bella thing is gonna work out. It's just too hard."

Angela sighed, relaxing against me. "Just try, Edward. You have to try; otherwise you'll live with the guilt of 'what if' you're entire life. That's no way to live, and that's no way for you to be when E.C. is around. For his sake, talk to Bella." Angela pulled away from me and giving me a pointed look before turning to walk toward the door.

"You're right. I'll try, but after this, I doubt she'll even talk to me."

Angela smiled at me. "She will, just don't give her a choice. Hey, ask her about Halloween. I'm sure she'd like to see E.C. Sunday night, so talk to her about that." Angela smiled her sweet, hopeful smile at me.

"Alright, whatever you say," I replied, waiting in the open doorway until she was safely in her car and driving away. I closed my front door, leaning my back against it and then sliding down. It was then that I let the stress of my life get to me, and as I sat staring at E.C.'s pillow and blanket, I knew what I wanted.

I crawled over to the sofa, my head swimming with sadness, and climbed onto the cushions. I lay my head down on E.C.'s pillow, then pulled his blanket up over me. Surrounded by his scent and the vision of him sleeping soundly, I drifted off to sleep.

The last thought in my head was something that Angela had said to me each time I complained about my problems with Bella. She was beginning to sound like a broken record, repeating it over and over again.

"Fix this, Edward. Before it's too late."

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Oh, I love angst. :) And see, Angela isn't as bad as everyone thinks, right? Next chapter is Halloween...and more angst. I can't wait! I gotta blame _gracielawl_ a little bit for encouraging me on Twitter to go the whole Edward & Angela dating route. It's sounding better and better... :D Let's hope I can stick to the plan and stop imagining all the RPattz and Minka Kelly smut that's running through my head. Seriously? How pretty would that lemon be? Ugh... :D  
**

**How about some rec's, shall we?**

_**Pocket Change **_**by ****aWhiteBlankPage ****– ****I just started this one, and I really like it so far. Here's the description, in case you're interested. ** _**I know of three kinds of change: the kind that jangles around in your pocket, the kind that happens slowly, every moment of every day, and the kind that blows you away in an instant. **_**Sounds good, right? I like it, check it out.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7122044/1/Pocket_Change**

_**Dear Mr. Masen**_** by ****jendonna**** – This is a WONDERFUL story by two amazing girls, one of which I rec'd last chapter. **_**"Error 434: Reprimanding an executive." Life changing or just stupid? Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB. **_**Seriously? It's incredible and I can't stop reading it or waiting for new chapters! Go! Read!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6483877/1/Dear_Mr_Masen**

**And something complete...**

_**For A Reason**_** by ****coldplaywhore**** – You can NEVER go wrong with something from my uberbeta! She did this one for a contest, and she won second place! I was very happy to see the little announcement on the site running the contest. :) **_**August 1977. Everything happens for a reason. Twigirlsnextdoor Schools Out For Summer Contest Entry. Rated M **_**Check it out, you'll love it. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7233120/1/For_A_Reason**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early. The new review system thing goes through the PM system, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can contact you. :) And if this chapter gets more reviews than last chapter, I might pick one out of every 5... I probably will. :D**

**Plus if you review, I'll send you a teaser for next chapter. You'll like it, I promise. Angst is amping up for the next few chapters. I know you're excited...**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I don't go there a lot, but I will be posting a teaser pic for next chapter on my fanfic blog. So, there's that...  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Seems everyone is either Team Edward or Team Bella for this story. Which one are you? Or do they both make you want bang your head against a wall? :D I love it... :)**


	29. Chapter 29 Battlefield

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an assortment of ear canal infection medications for my son. Luckily he's feeling good enough to go to school, after having to miss the first day. Poor guy. Hopefully he doesn't prove to be allergic to all the med's he's taking...like I am. :D Darn gene pool...**

**Reviews last chapter were even higher than the chapter before. I'm still in shock. And I kinda wanna kiss all of you, even the ones still hating on Angela. Also, it seems you're pretty evenly split on being mad at Edward or Bella, or just wanting to bang them together until they straighten themselves out. I'm all for that one, or maybe we could just have them bang each other until they straighten things out. That sounds like more fun to me. :)**

**Thanks to my uberbeta**_** coldplaywhore.**_** She's on vacay this week, which is probably cool since she hates my Edward and she may very well break things out of frustration before she finishes reading this chapter.**

**Thanks to my superbeta **_**MaggieMay14**_** for stepping in and subbing this week. She did this super quick, after spending a weekend at concerts and losing her voice. Although, maybe the losing her voice thing came from her screaming "NOOOOOOOO!" over and over again while reading this chapter... :D Also, she saw our chapter song's singer in concert and said she was awesome! I saw Jordin at Virgin Records. It was Thanksgiving weekend, I was tired, my feet hurt...I didn't wait in line for her autograph. But she looked pretty. :D**

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44,**____** Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. **____**Twilight44 **__**i**_**s on vacay as well, and she won't be happy with what she comes home to. Sorry, in advance. :) The other two girls...I don't know how I'd do this without their help. :) And big thanks t****o **___**bugsmama07**_** for sub prereading this chapter. She always has the best comments... :D**

**Thanks to**** My Constants ****and**** My Girlies. ****They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **___**Mrs. Robward.**_** She and I are gonna be outlining our new angsty collab real soon. I'm excited... :)**

**The girls that got this chapter early were: **___**acydrose, Almere, ana rod, fen29, maizeandblueinvalpo, Agrutle, lovingit3, pfarrell, scary1016, secretobsession7, symphiann, JaspersEmotionalGirl, VampDGurl, Tinas31, Meli1518, 1sparklygirl, MsEm, gracielaw, dazzled72, .twilight2**__**, **_**and**___**mamacullen**__**. **_**Thanks for all the wonderful comments, girls. They really helped, you have no idea how nervous I am about this one. :D **

**Hey **___**robertnkristen**__**, **_**your PM's aren't on, so I couldn't send this to you. :(**** And **___**LOVE2READ1001,**_** I PM'd you... If either of you get in touch with me, I'll send you the next chapter early. :)**

**There's something I wanted to say...and I can't remember it now. Oh well. Just keep in mind...HEA, HEA, HEA. I promise it will happen. But for now, enjoy some angsty goodness. :D**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 29 - Battlefield

_Don't try to explain your mind  
I know what's happening here  
One minute it's love  
And suddenly it's like a battlefield  
One word turns into war  
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down  
My world's nothing when you're gone  
I'm out here without a shield  
Can't go back now_

_Can't swallow our pride  
Neither of us wanna raise that flag  
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no  
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing  
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again  
I don't wanna fall for it now_

_I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for  
Why does love always feel like a battlefield?_

I guess you better go and get your armor

"Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Friday afternoon when I picked E.C. up from preschool, there was a note in his backpack from Renee. It didn't seem rude or angry, so I assumed that Bella hadn't told her about the previous afternoon. The message simply said that E.C.'s Halloween costume was at her house, and I could pick it up anytime Friday evening. E.C. seemed pretty excited to show me what he'd picked out, and he refused to tell me what it was. I knew he was a little boy and that he'd have a fun night regardless of what he dressed up as, but part of me hoped it wasn't anything too girly. He was a boy, and I wanted him to be into boy things. He'd freaked me out one day when he came home from preschool carrying his Barbie. It might not have been so bad if he hadn't gone into detail about the princess dress he wanted to buy at the store. When I talked to my mom about it, she encouraged me to just go along with it, and soon enough I found him "marrying" his Barbie off to an Ironman action figure. I didn't worry so much after that.

Friday evening after picking up some pizza for dinner, E.C. and I went by to get his costume. Renee handed me the bag and a wrapped gift that had a card and map attached to it.

"E.C. got invited to a birthday party tomorrow morning. I hope it's alright, and that you can fit it into your schedule," she said, her voice sounding apologetic.

"Um, yeah, that should be fine. This map shows where it is?"

"Yeah, it's not too far from your house, and it's only two hours. He doesn't even have to stay the whole time, if you don't want him to. I told the mom that he may not be able to make it, so I'll leave it up to you." Renee smiled at me, and I knew she was being sincere. It felt good that she was trying her best to make things between Bella and I easier.

"Daddy, can I go to da party? I's for Lucie at school. Pwease, Daddy? I una go."

E.C. looked up at me, bouncing up and down in front of me.

"Yeah, I think that's fine. I'll take you over there, okay?"

"Yay!" he yelled, running all around the living room.

"Maybe tell Lucie's mom to not let him have too much cake and ice cream tomorrow. He's already pretty excited about this weekend," Renee laughed, rolling her eyes at E.C.'s sudden display of acrobatics on the sofa.

"I think that's a good idea."

"Well, take lots of pictures of E.C. in his costume for me, okay?" Renee said, letting out a long breath. "This is the first Halloween I won't get to see him. Are you taking him Trick or Treating, or do you know of any parties or anything?" she asked.

"Oh, well my neighborhood does Trick or Treating in the evening and then I guess there's some kind of little carnival or something. I thought maybe we'd check that out. I think a couple of my friends from school might come with us. They mentioned not really having any plans that night, so we'll see." I didn't have the heart to tell Renee that it was mainly Angela I was talking about. It wasn't a lie, though, since Randall had mentioned he would be home alone, and without really thinking about it, I invited him to go along with us. The more the merrier, I figured.

"That sounds like fun, I'm sure you'll love it."

I cleared my throat, shifting nervously on my feet. "Um, did you want us to come by here? I mean, I'd be happy to bring him by, or if he usually Trick or Treats around here, we could come here. I don't know your schedule or anything."

Renee's eyes lit up. "Really? You'd bring him by? I would love that, Edward. Please do. Uh, we usually Trick or Treat up and down the street, but you don't have to if you don't want to. But I really would love see him. I know Bella would, too. She's not working Sunday night, so she'll be home. Could you bring him?"

Smiling at her, I nodded. "Of course, we'll come by. Do you think I should mention it to Bella? I mean, I don't think she's gonna want to see me any time soon, but maybe I should talk to her about it."

Renee's smile faded a bit. "Yeah, I guess you could. She's working tomorrow during the day. Maybe you could stop by while E.C.'s at the party. You could talk to her for a few minutes then, that would probably work best for both of you."

I promised Renee that I would. I gathered up E.C. and his costume, along with the birthday present, and we headed home. Once we got home, E.C. chose a cartoon movie on Netflix and we settled in at the coffee table in the living room to eat our pizza.

After dinner was done, E.C. hurried to his bedroom so that he could put on his costume. I should have known what it would be as soon as I heard the heavy breathing from the hallway minutes later.

"Whooooooo, heeeeeeee, whooooooo. Daddy look! I'n Dard Vader!"

E.C. walked into the living room with his little black outfit on, a long black cape hanging over his back, and a Darth Vader helmet on his head. Instantly, the Star Wars music started running through my mind and I was reminded of the ominous song that always played when Darth Vader came onto the screen. I smiled with delight that my son had chosen such a good costume, and was overjoyed when he pulled a light saber out of the belt hanging around his waist.

"Luke, I'n am your fader," he said in his best Darth Vader voice. I laughed and laughed as he spent a good part of the evening trying to bring me over to the dark side. Halloween was going to be a fun night, I could already tell.

Saturday morning E.C. and I got up early. There were some weeds that had sprouted up in the backyard and I wanted to get them pulled before the day got too warm. The weather wasn't really too hot for Florida, but for someone coming from the Pacific Northwest, it was pretty warm. I was slowly adjusting to it, and I was looking forward to the warm winter months. While we might get some rain here and there, I was pretty sure Miami wouldn't be seeing any snow or ice.

Angela texted me to see if we were still on for Trick or Treating the next night. Randall was gung ho and already had a costume, so Angela was curious if she needed one, too. I remembered a leather jacket I had in my closet, and after mentally pairing it with jeans and a T-shirt, I decided that it might be fun to dress up. I texted back, telling her to wear her costume and that we'd all dress up. It was my first Halloween as a dad and I wanted to make sure that E.C. had a great time with me and my friends. I knew that he would miss Bella, Renee, and Phil, but I wanted to make it a fun night for him.

E.C. got dressed and ready for the birthday party, and we drove to the house. He chattered the whole way about how Lucie was the cutest girl in school, and how he wanted to marry her someday. I wondered if he would ever mention marriage and the fact that Bella and I weren't married. I thought he might have heard some things at school as far as what was typical behavior for mommies and daddies, but he'd never said much to me about it. Maybe he was used to not having a dad around since he'd only ever been with Bella. I assumed it would come up at some point, and I just hoped that when it did, I'd be ready and know what to say.

The party was in full swing when we got there. The theme was Disney Princesses, which I knew about since I'd grown up with Alice for a sister, and she had spent years thinking she actually _was_ a princess. E.C. ran ahead to his friends who were all playing some kind of game with a bean bag. He had apparently played it before, because he jumped right in and only looked back at me to grin and wave a few times.

"You must be E.C.'s dad. I'm Miranda, Lucie's mom," the woman next to me said, introducing herself. "Thanks so much for bringing him over. Renee said he might not be able to come since it's your weekend with him."

"Sure, no problem. He's excited to be here, so it's fine," I said to Miranda. She looked like a normal mom, and I didn't get the feeling that I should be worried about leaving E.C. there with her. There were several other mom's standing around the food table, talking and laughing. Most of them looked over toward me at some point, which I figured was normal. Apparently, I was the only dad in attendance and none of them knew me. I was just glad that none of them were watching me too closely.

"You can take off if you need to, or if you want to stick around, some of the other moms will be here helping," Miranda said. "There's food and drinks over there and we'll have cake and ice cream later."

I smiled. "I've actually got a couple of errands to run, if you don't mind. I can come back in a little while to pick him up. I'll give you my cell number, in case there's a problem."

"Sure thing, we'll be here."

I jotted down my number for her, and then went to tell E.C. that I was leaving. He introduced me to Lucie, a very cute little girl in a purple dress. Her dark, curly hair reminded me of Bella. After kissing E.C. on the head, and making him laugh in the process, I wished the birthday girl a happy birthday and then left.

I had planned to drive straight to Bella's work, but I was nervous. I circled the block a few times, and then drove through a fast food restaurant to get some fries and a milk shake. I needed something to calm my nerves. Though, if I was being honest with myself, I was just stalling. After an hour, I knew that I'd need to get back to pick up E.C. soon, and I couldn't put it off any longer. I drove to the campus and parked in the lot closest to Bella's work.

As I walked toward the coffee shop, I really hoped for my own sake that I didn't run into Jacob. He was the last person I wanted to see. I couldn't figure out why Bella was still friends with him, or if she even was. I thought about it and realized I hadn't ever asked her, point blank, if they were still friends. Why she would want that jerk around, I didn't know. Unless they really were dating, like he said. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if he had just been playing me. Everyone, except him, kept saying that nothing was going on between them... So why did I believe him so easily?

I felt like smacking myself upside the head. I had been so gullible, but at the same time, he knew things he wouldn't have known unless Bella told him. How would he have known that I'd be at her house that day to talk to her? And how would he know that she was keeping a secret from me, unless he was in on it? I didn't really know the depth of their friendship, nor did I want to, and I continued to question things as I got closer to the shop and Bella.

Once it was in sight, I paused, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing myself for Bella. I didn't know what her mood might be, but I was doing this for my son. I wanted to make E.C. happy, and I knew that seeing his mom on Halloween would do that. No matter what my personal feelings were, I had to put them aside for the good of my son. I stood up straighter, pushed my shoulders back, and walked toward the shop.

Looking through the windows as I approached, I only saw one person behind the counter, and it was Steph who I had met previously. There were a few people sitting at tables in the dining area, but that was all. I couldn't see Bella, and better yet, I didn't see Jake. _So far, so good_, I thought to myself.

The door made a little chiming noise as I walked through, and Steph looked up. She smiled, obviously recognizing me. "Hey, you're Edward, right? E.C.'s dad? How you been?" she asked as she wiped the counter with a wet rag.

"I'm good, thanks. How are you?" I asked, trying to be polite.

"Fine, things are great. What can I get you?"

I cleared my throat before answering her. "Well, I was actually looking for Bella. Her mom said she was working today, and I was hoping maybe she was here."

The bright smile dropped a little from Steph's face, and her hand stopped moving around the counter top. "Oh yeah, she's here. She's in the back. You want me to go get her? Or, if you want, you can go back there. Our boss never comes in on the weekend, so no one will care."

"Sure. Thanks, Steph. I appreciate it."

She laughed. "Seriously? It's not for you, it's just that I remember what happened last time you were here. I don't need any of the customers complaining about my shift. Just try to keep it to a dull roar, okay?"

I smiled at her. "Okay, I will." I stepped around the counter and walked toward the door that led to the kitchen and back area of the store. Stepping through the door, the sugary sweet smells of a bakery wafted through the air. Flour and some type of fresh dough were laying on a work table, so I knew Bella was somewhere nearby. I looked around the empty room for a moment, noticing the back door propped open. I wondered if she was outside, and just as I stepped toward the door, I heard voices off to my right. Slowly, I walked in the direction they came from and looking around a set of metal shelves, I saw Bella standing near an office door. Just as I was about to say something, Jacob stepped closer to her, and I froze.

Bella was standing there in her work clothes, while Jacob was in shorts and a T-shirt. He obviously wasn't working that day, so he must have just been there to see her. Bella stood still, looking nervously around at the floor as Jacob stepped even closer to her. I watched as her chest moved faster, her breathing picking up. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and I could see the muscles in her throat as she swallowed.

"Bella, come on," Jake quietly said to her.

"Jake, I just...I don't..." Bella's voice was soft, yet it sounded uncertain and a little shaky.

I stood silently, waiting to see what would happen. My heart began to pound in my chest as he lifted his hands up and I watched him place them on either side of Bella's face, tilting her head up so that she would look at him.

"Jake..." she whispered.

"Shhh, don't, it's okay," he said. Everything around me began to turn red as I watched him lower his face toward hers, his lips getting closer and closer to her mouth. I wanted to run forward and grab him, to pull him away from her, but something stopped me.

Bella stood as still as I was standing, her arms hanging at her sides. I could see that she was watching Jake as he got closer to her, and she wasn't stopping him. Her lips were parted just a bit, and as he inched closer to her, I saw her tongue peek out and wet them. Suddenly, their actions registered in my head. He was going to kiss her, and I was going to stand idly by and watch it happen.

As Jacob's lips touched Bella's, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. My mouth hung open in disbelief, and I prayed with everything in me that she would push him away and tell him to stop. His lips pressed against hers, then pulled back, only to press against hers again. As the seconds ticked away, I saw Bella's eye lids slide closed, and her hands rose up and grasped onto Jacob's arms. I hoped that this was it, the point when she would push him away, but instead, her fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt. She pulled him closer just a bit, and then her lips started to move with his.

I couldn't feel anything anymore. Where there had been pain only a few moments earlier, there was now nothing. I stood stone still, watching as they kissed, Jake pressing his mouth harder against hers while they continued to move in unison. Before long, Bella was standing on her tip toes in an effort to get closer to him, and pulling him toward her with her hands. I saw her lips slide open, and felt like vomiting when a bit of Jake's tongue was visible just before he pushed it into her mouth. Her hands climbed up his arms, wrapping around his neck, as one of his hands fell down to her waist, pulling her body tight against his.

It was hard to register that what I was watching was real, but it was. I was seeing my worst nightmare come to life right before my eyes. When they finally pulled their lips away from each other, Jacob rested his forehead against Bella's, just like I had always done with her. Bella was breathing rapidly, and her eyes were closed. I thought I saw her brow furrow a bit as her hands dropped back down to her side. The two of them stood in their frozen positions, and I felt the need to run as fast and far away from them as I could.

Quietly, so that I wouldn't be heard, I turned around and went back through the door.

"Was she back there?" Steph asked, glancing over at me.

"Yeah. Uh, she's busy. I'll just talk to her later." My voice sounded lifeless and hollow.

"Oh, alright. You want anything before you go?"

"No, thanks." Walking numbly to the door, I was ready to leave, but looked over my shoulder one more time. "Hey Steph, don't tell her I was here, okay?" I watched as Steph nodded back to me.

I pushed out of the door and into the sunlight. Any hope that I'd been feeling minutes earlier was now gone. Not only was I sure that Bella was dating Jacob, but I'd witnessed it with my own eyes. It was a scene I would not soon forget. I wasn't sure if I was more angry or hurt by what I'd seen, but for the moment I was numb and in shock.

Somehow I got back to my car, having not really paid attention to where I was walking. All I knew now was that I needed to get to E.C. I needed him with me. I needed the calm that he would bring to my heart and spirit. Him being near always had a way of making me feel better, and after what I'd just seen, I needed that.

As I drove away from the university, my heart broke. It really was over between Bella and me. The last little shred of hope that I'd been hanging on to seemed to shrivel up right before my eyes. It was too late to fix what had been broken between us, and I needed to accept that fact. We were done.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Sunday was a blur. I was grateful that E.C. had chosen a costume that didn't require any make up or hair color. All we had to do was put his clothes and helmet on, grab his light saber, and we were good to go. Randall and Angela were meeting us at my house around five that evening. We were going to take E.C. Trick or Treating for a little while before going over to the carnival that had been set up in the park down the street. He was pretty excited and could hardly be still long enough to eat his lunch that day. After a reminder that he couldn't have any candy until he'd eaten something healthy, he scarfed down his macaroni and cheese. He spent the next hour or so in his room, practicing collecting candy from the stuffed animals on his shelves. After a short nap, he was anxious to get dressed and start on his evening.

Randall showed up a few minutes after five. He was decked out as Dracula, with the glue on vampire teeth and everything. E.C. squealed in delight at seeing his new friend, and he couldn't wait to show Randall off to the other kids that would be at the carnival. A few minutes later Angela showed up, and when I saw her, my eyes about bugged out of my head. If' I had any inappropriate thoughts about her before, they were nothing compared to what was running through my head as she walked toward the front door. Randall let out a low whistle and elbowed me in the ribs.

"Mother of all things holy, did you know she could look like that?" he whispered, as we both watched Angela approach us.

Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail and she was dressed up in a cheerleader uniform. A set of pom poms were held by one hand while she waved to E.C. with the other.

"Wow! You's a cheerweeder, Angewa! Like at da football games." E.C. clapped his hands, happy to see that another of his friends had dressed up.

"E.C., you look so great! I love your Darth Vader costume! Do you have a light saber and everything?" she asked as she knelt in front of him, smiling up at Randall and me.

"Yep, I's got one, see?"

Angela laughed as he began to wield it around and make swooshing sounds, as though it was slicing through the air.

"Great costumes, you two," Angela said, standing up and looking over both Randall and me.

"Thanks," Randall mumbled, obviously still a little in awe of the way Angela looked in her short skirt and tight vest.

I had known a lot of cheerleaders in my time. Having been a quarterback for pretty much the past ten years, they tended to flock to me. Most of them let me do whatever I wanted to, and as a result, I knew how to attach, and unattach, every piece of Angela's outfit. I shifted a little, trying to hide the quickly growing erection that was threatening to blow my cool cover. My jeans were old and dingy, but would still clearly show if I got too excited about something.

"So, I know you're a vampire, Randall, but what are you, Edward? Is this some kind of Rebel Without a Cause thing? 'Cause it's sexy and totally working for you," Angela said. I could see a hint of teasing on her face and hear it in her words, but I just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, that's me. James Dean. You like it?"

"Absolutely," she said, smiling brightly at me.

Trick or Treating went well. Angela and I hung back a bit and laughed at Randall and E.C.'s exuberance over the candy they were both getting. Seeing Randall run around like an overgrown child, you never would have guessed that he was a medical student with a 4.0 GPA. As we walked, Angela asked if I'd had a chance to talk to Bella about the night. I told her what had happened the day before.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. Maybe it wasn't what you thought. Maybe it was like what Bella assumed of us the other day. I don't think you should jump to conclusions just yet. Talk to her, tell her what you saw, and give her a chance to explain."

I sighed, letting the sadness I'd been feeling for the past twenty-four hours wash over me. "I think I just need to accept that it's finally over. I don't know what else to do. I feel bad about it, but I don't think I can sit and listen to her tell me that it's exactly what I think it is. I can't handle the thought of her confirming my worse fears, you know?"

Angela nodded. "I get it, I do. At least think about what I said, okay? You know, deep down, that you would have wanted Bella to give you a chance to explain the other day. You need to give her that same chance. From what it sounds like, she doesn't even know you saw her, so you need to say something."

I thought over Angela's words as the night went on. The carnival was fun and E.C. got to play a lot of games. Randall had several of the single women in my neighborhood following him around. When it was time for us to leave for Bella's house, he decided to stay and enjoy all the attention he was getting. I laughed at his excitement and said that we'd see him after we got back.

The three of us piled into my car and we drove toward Bella's house. E.C. told Angela all about his house and the toys he had there. She laughed and gave him her undivided attention during the entire ride over. Once we got to Bella's neighborhood, we had to park down the street a ways from her house. There were kids everywhere, and E.C. wanted to stop at each house as we walked. His bag got more and more full of candy as each of his neighbors piled in handfuls once they knew he was Renee's little grandson.

As we approached Bella's house, Renee and Phil were sitting outside on the porch. E.C. dropped his bag on the ground and took off running toward them. Renee screamed with delight when she saw him, jumping out of her chair to meet him in the yard. Phil laughed, and I could see the pride in him over seeing E.C.'s costume. I knew I was right in assuming who had gotten my son hooked on Star Wars.

"Bella! Get out here! E.C.'s here!" Renee yelled back to the house. I picked up E.C.'s bag and Angela and I slowly approached the house.

"Maybe I should stay back here, Edward. I don't wanna cause any problems," Angela said, pausing on the sidewalk in front of the house next door to Bella's.

"No, come on. It's fine. I don't have anything to hide, and besides, Bella's the one dating someone else. We both know there's nothing going on between us, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." Her voice was hesitant, her words laced with uncertainty.

"If Bella has a problem then it's her problem, not mine. And it's certainly not yours, so come on. I'm sure Renee and Phil would like to meet E.C.'s new friend."

For some unknown reason, I reached down and grabbed her hand, pulling her along behind me. She seemed to drag her feet for a few moments, before finally falling into step behind me. It was obvious that I was holding onto her hand tighter than she was holding mine, and I wondered what she was thinking. I knew enough about her to know that she was still reeling from her last relationship, and she wasn't looking for someone new. I just hoped that she would be okay with my display of affection, even though my meaning behind it wasn't romantic. I just wanted her support and her company while I faced Bella again.

As Bella stepped out of the house, her eyes seemed to fall instantly on me, then travel down my body to where I was still holding Angela's hand. Bella stumbled a bit, tripping out the door and nearly falling onto the porch. She righted herself quickly, then looked away from me, her eyes bouncing around to every one but me.

"Momma!" E.C. called out to her, squirming out of Renee's arms and running to Bella.

"Hi, baby," she said, kneeling down and pulling him to her. She buried her face in his neck, which I was sure couldn't feel good. His helmet was hard and probably rough against her face. As I watched her, I saw her fingers and immediately my mind ran back to the day before. Her fingers had inched up Jake's arm, finally burying themselves in his hair as he kissed her. I saw her eyelids that were closed so tightly, the same way they'd closed when Jake kissed her. I saw her lips as she kissed E.C.'s helmet, remembering what they'd looked like as she used them to kiss Jake.

My fingers squeezed Angela's hand tighter, and I felt her try to let go. I tightened my hold, looking over at her and begging her with my eyes to hang on. She seemed to understand what I needed, and she shifted slightly behind me, raising her other hand and placing it on my upper arm. "I'm right here, you're fine. Please let go, this is making me really uncomfortable. I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."

Out of respect for my friend, I let go of her, then took a step forward in an effort to put some distance between us.

"Edward, thank you so much for bringing him. He looks so wonderful," Renee said, coming to stand next to me. Once she spotted Angela behind me, her smile changed a bit. "Oh, who is this?" she asked.

"Renee, this Angela, one of my friends from school. She came out with us tonight. Our friend Randall also came, but he found some admirers at the carnival and decided to stay there and talk a while longer."

Renee reached her hand out to Angela. "Well, it's very nice to meet you, Angela. I've actually heard quite a bit about you from my grandson. He seems quite taken with you, I must say."

Angela smiled shyly. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you, too. He's such a sweet little boy, I've really loved getting to know him a little bit. It looks like you guys have been busy with Trick or Treaters tonight."

"Oh, yes. There were quite a few. The costumes seem to get better and better each year. It's so fun to see all the kids out running around. And it's so nice that you guys dressed up, too. How fun! I'm sure E.C. loved it."

"Yeah, Nana, you gotta see Rando. Him's like a vampire with poiny teef. I wanna be a vampire nex time, kay Momma?" E.C. said.

"Sure thing, baby," Bella said, keeping her eyes fixed on our son.

Phil stood up and walked over to meet Angela, shaking her hand as he introduced himself.

"Momma, come see Angewa," E.C. said, pulling Bella's hand as he started walking to where Angela and I were standing.

"Hi, Bella," Angela said softly.

"It's okay, E.C., we already met," Bella said, her voice low and a little unstable.

Bella looked up at me, her eyes glossy and clearly troubled. For a moment I felt sad about the way she was looking at me. It seemed she was sad, hurt even. When her eyes glanced over to Angela, there was no anger there. The only thing I could clearly see was something that resembled jealousy. Why she might be feeling that, I wasn't sure, but suddenly images of her and Jake flashed through my mind again, and I didn't care. I wanted to hurt her the way she'd hurt me. Even if she didn't know that I'd seen her, I had, and the images were forever burned into my mind.

"Well, we're gonna get going, I guess. We need to get back and make sure that Randall is doing all right at the carnival. Plus, we all have class early tomorrow morning, so we shouldn't be out too late," I said.

"Oh, of course. Thank you for coming by, this was really wonderful." Renee reached over and hugged me, then shook Angela's hand again. "It was lovely to meet you, Angela. I'm sure we'll see you again sometime."

"It was nice to meet you, too," Angela said.

E.C. hugged everyone again, then took off his helmet so that he could kiss Bella. She wouldn't see him again until Wednesday and I felt a little bad for her about that. Maybe if we'd been able to talk and work things out, we wouldn't have had to resort to this custody arrangement, but that's not how things were between us. Neither of us seemed to be able to communicate with the other, for some unknown reason. Maybe someday in the future we would figure it out, but I wasn't going to hold my breath anymore.

As we turned to walk away, I reached out and grabbed Angela's hand again, holding it firmly in mine. Looking over at her, I watched her close her eyes, gritting her teeth as she sighed deeply. I knew she wasn't happy with me, but I also knew that she understood my need for her support in that moment. E.C. ran happily along with us, singing to himself and waving to the neighbor lady next door.

I looked over my shoulder once more as we left the yard, Bella stood frozen on the porch, her eyes locked on me. Her lips were parted and her brow creased a little. She was too far away for me to see for certain what she was thinking. I once again remembered the way Jake had slid his arm around her, and instinctively, I let go of Angela's hand and placed my hand on the small of her back.

"Edward?" she quietly asked.

"It's fine," I whispered, still watching Bella. "Let's go home."

I wasn't proud of myself for intentionally trying to hurt Bella, but I needed to do it. Somewhere deep inside of me, the desire to make her hurt as much as I did was screaming at me. It was only fair that she should feel what I felt. She deserved it. I pushed down the anxious feelings that were building inside of me and kept walking, finally letting go of Angela once we were far enough away that I knew Bella couldn't see us.

"Thanks," I said softly as we approached my car.

Angela looked closely at me for a moment, waiting until I had strapped E.C. in his seat and closed the door. "Edward, you can't use me to hurt her. I hope you know that. It's not only unfair to her, but it's unfair to me."

I watched her, noticing the way her lips were pressed together in a thin line, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Clearly, she was unhappy with me, and in shame, I looked down at the ground. "I know, I'm sorry."

"You need to be sure of what you want. If it's really over with her, and you want to move on, then we can talk about it. But until you're one hundred percent sure, don't do this to me. Okay?"

I nodded, silently promising to be better to her. She didn't deserve to get sucked into my insanity. She was a good person and a good friend. Now I just needed to decide for myself if I only wanted her as a friend, or if maybe I wanted more.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Yeah, so like I said...things are angst-ing up. :) And now you know why Superbeta kept saying "NOOOOOOO!" to me. :D And seriously, how cute was E.C. in his little "Dard Vader" costume? I linked the commercial that inspired this one on my blog. I knew, when I saw it during the Super Bowl, that it would be one of my favorites. It still is... :D**

**How about some rec's?**

_**We Were Here **_**by lola-pops. **_**Upon waking, there's a brief, blissful period in which you don't yet recall the sins of the night before, but eventually, you have to open your eyes. I'm Bella Swan, seventeen years old, cheerleader. This morning I woke up in the wrong bed. **_**This story...oh goodness. This story is so wonderful. Edward is troubled, Bella is privileged, Rose is a mess, Jasper is a jerk, and it's hard not to fall in love with all of them! This story is kinda edgy and delves into the darker, more dangerous side of life. The author writes it with such knowledge and so many facts, I have to wonder if maybe this is her real story. It's that good.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6562901/1/**

_**House of Cards**_** by therunaway1. **_**Bella's in love with Edward, but she sets him up with her friend Kate. Both hit it off and get married. Bella hurts but takes it in stride. But what happens when married Edward tells Bella he's in love with her? Hurt so good affair, I think. **_** This story is exactly my kind of angst. :D I love that Edward and Bella are both in love with each other, yet they've never said anything. Then, just when things might work out perfectly, they miss it. It's a wonderful story, and I couldn't love it more. Like I said...the angst. Oh golly, it's intense. And so good...**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6783187/1/House_of_Cards**

**And for something complete...**

_**Saddle Up Your Heart**_** by RenaBug1. **_**In 1870, Bella Swan arrives in Virginia City, Nevada, as the new school teacher. She meets Sheriff Edward Cullen as soon as she falls off the stagecoach. Will events draw them together or drive them apart? **_**I must admit, this was much fluffier than I normally read, but it's a period piece, set in the 1870's west, and I couldn't resist it. :D I loved all the little details the author put in this. They made this really fun to read. Plus, I love how proper Edward is in his pursuit of Bella. :D The story is rated T, but don't worry...she's got an M rated outtake that's fun. I quite enjoyed it. :D Edward was a little surprising in that, I gotta say. :D**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6975339/1/Saddle_Up_Your_Heart**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early. The new review system thing goes through the PM system, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can contact you. :) And if this chapter gets more reviews than last chapter, I might pick one out of every 5... I probably will. :D**

**Plus if you review, I'll send you a teaser for next chapter. You'll like it, I promise. Next chapter is even angstier than this...which I must admit, I love. :D**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I don't go there a lot, which is horrible of me.  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**So what do you think of Angela at this point? Still think she's got a hidden agenda? I'm curious to see... :)**


	30. Chapter 30 Kiss A Girl

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a new catalytic converter for my car. Dang, those suckers are NOT cheap. The only upside is that I have a hubs that knows how to put it on the car. I do so love a man that can fix my car... :D**

**Thanks to my uberbeta**_** coldplaywhore.**_** She was still gone when I finished this chapter, and now she's trying to catch up on things, so she got another pass. I'm sure once she reads this, she'll be glad. :D**

**Thanks to my superbeta **_**MaggieMay14**_** for stepping in and subbing again this week. She's all sorts of helpful to me, and she'll never know how much I appreciate it. :)**

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44,**____**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. **_**They talked me down off the edge a few times with this chapter. So much stress...it was not good. :D**

**Thanks to**** My Constants ****and**** My Girlies. ****They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey, **___**Mrs. Robward.**_** It was her birthday this week. I made her banners and dedicated songs to her. She called me and we talked for 2 hours. It was a good day... :)**

**The girls that got this chapter early were: **___**TwiMom22580, carebear309, JaspersEmotionalGirl, Marcela Preisser, 3c cullen, tennishog, FFpassion, 1sparklygirl, crackupmonkey, Rebadams7, pampamcris, Lily Adrienne, sujari6, QueenAnnie1, Killersupergirl, fourbrats, **_**and**___** hotedward07.**_** Thanks for all the wonderful comments, girls. They really helped, I promise you. :)**

**Hey **___**chocobit girl, robertnkristen**__**, **____**DarcyCullenShields, micharrill, Vampire-vs-Werewolf, **_**and**___** alittlepatience, **_**I PM'd you but didn't hear back. If you get in touch with me, I'll send you the next chapter early. :) And trust me, you want that one early. :) Also **___**xbbygirl**__**, y**_**our PM's aren't on so I couldn't message you. Same thing, you get ahold of me and I'll send you Chapter 31 early. :)**

**Yet again, you all astounded me with your reviews. I know some of you are upset about certain things, and that's okay. I know where this is going and I have a reason for everything that's happening. It's all good. Also, I had hoped to get this out on Wednesday, but I had to rework some things. I was nervous, and I'm never nervous, so I knew something was wrong. I like where it is now, so I hope you do, too.**

**o~*~o~*~o~*~o**

Chapter 30 – I Wanna Kiss A Girl

_To kiss and tell  
It's just not my style  
But the night is young  
And it's been awhile_

_And she broke my heart  
Broke it right in two  
And it's fixing time  
But I'm feeling like I'm finally ready to  
Find, find somebody new_

_I wanna kiss a girl  
I wanna hold her tight  
And maybe make a little magic in the moonlight_

_Don't wanna go too far  
Just to take it slow  
But I shouldn't be lonely in this big ol' world  
I wanna kiss a girl_

"Kiss A Girl" by Keith Urban

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As I drove along the city streets on my way to Bella's house, I noticed how many people were out. It seemed early in the morning for the sidewalks to be so full already, but glancing down at the clock in my dashboard, I realized it wasn't. I had a quiz in my first class that morning, and had told Renee that I'd pick E.C. up on my way to school. It wasn't really on my way, it was actually in the opposite direction. Bella was sick and not going into work that day, and since Renee and Phil both had classes to teach that morning, none of them could take E.C. to preschool. I assured her that I'd pick him up and take him to his class while I went to mine. Bella had just had her long weekend with him, and I missed him. I was excited about getting to spend a little more time with E.C., since typically I didn't see him until the afternoon when I picked him up after my classes were done for the day.

It was a good thing I was already up and going, because otherwise I never would have been able to help Angela when she called me in a panic. Her apartment wasn't in the best part of town, but she hadn't had any trouble yet…at least not until that morning. Apparently, someone had broken into her car and she was completely freaked out. I figured something was wrong when I saw her number on my caller ID at seven in the morning, but the fear in her voice quickly had me in a panic as well. I told her to call the police and that I'd be right over.

By the time I got there, a friend that lived in her apartment building was there, offering to help clean things up once the police were gone. The windows on the driver's side doors had been shattered, and her stereo was yanked out of the dashboard. There were wires hanging all over the inside of the console, and glass covering the parking lot and the interior of the car. A few things were missing from the trunk, along with several CD's that she kept in the glove box. Aside from that, there didn't appear to be any major damage to the car, which Angela was relieved about. We stood around watching the police process the crime scene, and she started to worry about missing the quiz in our class that morning. Her friend convinced her to go ahead and leave, saying he would take care of everything. I didn't know the guy, but got the feeling from his body language that he wasn't thrilled to see me there. I'm sure the fact that Angela ran and clung to me until we left didn't help. He was clearly interested in her, which made me feel a little uneasy. Angela was a sweet girl, and I didn't want to see her get caught up with some jerk. The thought made me laugh to myself, since I knew that almost anyone from my past would think I was the worst possible thing that could ever happen to her. This guy was probably a saint in comparison to me.

Angela rode with me over to Bella's to pick up E.C. I knew it probably wasn't the best idea, but she was so upset, and I was nervous about leaving her alone at her apartment. My protective instinct was kicking in, and I wanted to look out for her. It was odd, I noticed almost instantly that the feelings to keep her safe were nothing like the ones I'd always felt for Bella. The jealousy thing was the same. I was jealous of the idea that Angela knew this other man, but not nearly as much as I was about Bella knowing other men. I shook my head a little, trying to rid myself of those thoughts. Bella had obviously moved on, and I was still trying to decide what I wanted to do. So far, nothing had really changed.

The week after Halloween was tough. I was plagued with guilt over how I'd treated Angela and what I led Bella to believe. When I dropped E.C. off at her house on Wednesday, Phil was there, and I didn't see Bella. It was probably for the best, and I just tried not to think about it. I knew that five days without E.C. would be hard, but we were slowly adjusting to our new custody schedule. He had a few meltdowns here and there. He sometimes didn't understand why he had to stay at my house, why he couldn't just go home and be with his mom. It wasn't an easy thing to explain to a three year old, but I did my best. I tried to reassure him that Bella and I both loved him so much, that we both wanted to have lots of time with him. He seemed okay with my explanations, at least until the next time he missed something from his other house.

I was lucky, though. I was still able to watch him on Thursday afternoons while Bella was working. She usually picked him up from my house, but that week I was actually relieved when Renee came instead. She was kind and encouraging, as always, and I wondered how much Bella had told her, or what Renee had seen Halloween night. I also wondered what she truly thought of me and the way I had been behaving. I was embarrassed, and I felt like apologizing to her, but each time I tried, she simply smiled and told me to hush.

Angela and I hadn't spent much time together during that week, either. Things were getting really busy in our classes, and aside from a study group Saturday night, I'd only seen her in class. We'd texted and emailed back and forth a bit, but nothing serious. I knew she was waiting on me to decide what I really wanted, and I got the feeling she was happy that I was taking so long. I truly didn't know what to do. I knew what I wanted, but I knew that what I wanted was no longer a possibility. I couldn't just sit around and wait forever. Bella might never come back to me, and I couldn't imagine spending my life alone. I wanted companionship and someone to come home to every night. I also realized that I wanted more children. I'd missed out on E.C.'s first years, and I wanted to experience all of that for myself. I was slowly but surely coming to the realization that I would have to stop thinking about moving on and actually do it.

As we drove along the streets, Angela reached over and took my hand. She was quiet, not saying anything at all and simply staring out the window. I wasn't sure why the car break-in had affected her so much, but I knew that everyone handled stressful situations differently. Maybe this was just her way of coping. It was fine with me. I had done the same thing on Halloween night, so I decided that if Angela needed my support, I would more than happily give it to her. The radio quietly played as we neared Bella's house, and Angela's thumb softly rubbed over the back of my hand. It felt nice, though I knew in my heart that her touch didn't affect me nearly as much as Bella's did.

I parked in front of Bella's house and turned off the car. Sitting quietly for a moment, I turned to Angela.

"I'm just gonna go get E.C., okay? You'll be alright here for a minute?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine"

I smiled at her. "Be right back."

Walking up the sidewalk to the porch, I knocked on the door and waited to hear the sound of my son's little footsteps on the floor inside the house. I usually heard his voice along with them, but that morning I didn't hear either. The first thing I heard was the lock turning, followed by the squeaking of the hinges.

Bella stood behind the door, her face flush and her nose red. "He's in the kitchen," she softly said, opening the door wider so that I could enter.

"Okay," I replied, walking past her and going toward our son. E.C. was sitting at the dining table eating a bowl of cereal. He was nearly done, so while he finished up his last few bites, I grabbed his bag that lay on the sofa.

"My mom packed his stuff, so he should fine for a couple of days. I'll let you know if I'm still sick Thursday, if I'm keeping him home with me or not."

"That'd be good, thanks." Bella and I stood uncomfortably near each other, neither of us knowing what to say. I cleared my voice, set on attempting to say something not horrible to her. "If you're still sick Wednesday and Thursday, I can always take him for a while to give you a break. If you need the rest. Just ask, it's no big deal."

Bella sniffled and wiped at her nose with a tissue. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

I looked at her from the corner of my eye. She really did look sick. Where as a few weeks earlier she'd looked sad and run down, this was different. I could tell that she didn't feel well, and I hoped that not having to chase E.C. around would enable her to get some much needed rest. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach, cinching her pink robe tighter around her body.

"Daddy, I'n ready for school," E.C. said after dumping his bowl in the sink and skipping over to me.

"Alrighty then, let's get going. We don't wanna be late." I ruffled his hair, then looked back at Bella. "See you Wednesday."

"Bye, Edward," she said. After sniffling a bit, she knelt down and held her arms open to E.C.

"Bye, Momma. You gots to get beder, okay? You take some medicine, Momma." E.C. hugged Bella tightly, his little arms wrapped around her neck.

"I will. Be good for your Daddy, okay? I love you, baby. Forever." She held him to her for a few moments as she hugged him, then loosened her hold as he backed up a bit.

"Forever, love," he whispered to her, taking her face in his little hands and staring into her eyes.

She nodded. "Forever."

My heart stuttered in my chest at hearing them say the phrase that held so much meaning to me. I still couldn't believe that she'd taught it to him, but the fact that she did warmed my heart and made it ache all that much more.

E.C. walked toward the door, turning around to wave to Bella as he did. I mumbled a quiet goodbye, then opened the door and followed my son outside. I heard Bella gasp quietly behind me and when I turned around I saw her in the doorway. Following her stare, I saw that she was looking at Angela, who was sitting in the front seat of my car. Instantly I realized that once again, Angela and I were together first thing in the morning. More than likely, Bella thought that we'd spent the night together. I stumbled a bit in my steps, and then righted myself. I quickly made my mind stop thinking that way, repeating over and over again that she didn't want me, that she was the one moving on first.

I got E.C. settled into his car seat, and then threw his little bag into the trunk. As I walked back toward my door, I heard him yelling at me through the window.

"What?" I asked, opening his door.

"My yunch box, Daddy. I forgetted it."

I looked up to the house, seeing the door closed. "I'll get it, hang on."

I jogged back to the house and lightly knocked on the door. After a few moments, when Bella still hadn't answered, I tried the knob, which easily turned in my hand. Stepping quietly inside, I closed the door behind me and took a few steps into the house. I was just about to call out to Bella when I heard a muffled cry from somewhere near by. I saw E.C.'s lunch box on the floor by the sofa, and I reached over to grab it, intending to leave before I disturbed Bella. Then I heard what she was saying.

"Why is he doing this? I don't understand."

I looked around the corner and saw her seated at the table where E.C. had just been sitting. Her face was covered by her hands, and I saw her shoulders shaking. She was crying. As I watched her whimper and gasp, I realized she wasn't just crying—she was sobbing.

"I don't know what to do. What did I do wrong? I just don't know, I thought…"

I listened to her words, hearing the sadness and desperation in them. It destroyed me to see her like that. My first instinct was to go to her, to wrap her up in my arms and tell her it would be okay. It had been so long since we'd been together, I didn't really know her anymore, and the severity of that realization kept me glued to my spot. I didn't even know if she would want me to comfort her. If I tried, would she push me away? I didn't think I could handle it if that happened, and I forced myself to stay where I was.

Her breaths were coming from her so forcefully, and her cries were growing louder. "Why? What did I do wrong? Please, I don't know what to do anymore."

Watching her, I finally knew what I had to do. I never wanted to see her that way. I didn't care what she did or didn't do, I never wanted to be the reason she was crying like that. Ideas began to swim through my head and suddenly I found myself questioning everything I'd done since arriving in Miami.

"I'm so stupid, so sorry. I didn't mean it. What do I do now? I don't know what to do…" Her words came out in such a haunting way, it was as if I could feel every ounce of pain and sadness in them. She was truly breaking right before my eyes, and I was lost as to how to fix her.

Deciding that I needed to leave before Bella saw me, I carefully went to the door and let myself out. Slowly walking back to the car, I continued thinking about what I'd just witnessed and about the defeat that I'd heard in Bella's cries. Looking up, I saw Angela and E.C. in the car. She was turned around talking to him, and for a moment I saw what Bella must have seen. I saw my life without her in it. I saw what things could be like if I continued down the path I was on.

Standing next to my door, I paused, looking up at the house I'd just come from. I had to stop things where they were now. I couldn't let this situation between Bella and myself get any worse than it already had. I needed to make a clean break between us, for the good of us both. I had to move on and let her do the same. Taking a deep breath, I got into the car, and passed the lunch box back to E.C. Looking at Angela's questioning eyes, I reached over and picked up her hand, letting our fingers lace together.

"If you're in, I'm in."

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The next couple of days were good. E.C. was happy for the most part, and the evenings we spent together were fun and entertaining. I didn't hear from Bella, and I didn't bother with trying to call her. I had decided I would step back completely from her life. I wanted to make things as easy for her as I could, and that meant staying out of sight for a while. E.C. still called her each night to tell her he loved her, but I didn't talk to her when he did it. He felt like he was a big boy, being able to call his mom all by himself.

Angela came over Tuesday and spent the evening with us. Once E.C. went to bed, she and I studied for a couple of hours, then watched some TV. I held her hand for a little while, then I put my arm along the back of the couch and over her shoulders, pulling her a little closer. She leaned up against my chest, and it felt nice. Just having that type of contact with someone after so long felt good, although I knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn't quite right. Something still felt off, and as I thought about it, I realized it was the height of her shoulders. Her shoulder hit me too high on my chest. It wasn't like Bella's shoulder, which landed in the perfect spot each time she leaned against me.

I was still torn over things. Angela was a good fit with E.C. and I in a lot of ways. She was all the things I had ever wanted in a partner, and she loved my son. More importantly, he loved her. I could see us together as more then friends, and sometimes late at night when I was alone, I could imagine us being intimate. It had been several months since I'd been with anyone other than my hand and visions of Bella. I tried one night to imagine Angela as I stroked myself, attempting to relieve some of the stress and frustration I was under between school, E.C., and Bella. I thought of Angela in her cheer leading uniform, picturing her breasts and her hard nipples. I clenched my eyes shut tighter and tried to see myself sliding in and out of her. Just as I felt the familiar sensations of an orgasm building, I whispered Angela's name, only to be assaulted by memories of Bella lying underneath me. I came harder than I had in months, and I knew it wasn't because of Angela.

That moment made me reconsider all the ideas that had been running through my head. Regardless of how our relationship evolved, I didn't want to hurt Angela. She was my friend, and I hoped that she always would be. She deserved better than some guy who just wanted to use her in an effort to get over his old girlfriend. Sadly, I realized that's exactly what I was doing. Angela never pushed me for anything more, and I took comfort in that, but a little voice in the back of my head was screaming out in protest. I needed to be fair to her. If I honestly wanted to move on in my life and be with her, I had to make some changes. I didn't know yet what those changes might be, but I wanted to find out.

I had E.C. for the weekend, and Saturday afternoon I decided to take him swimming. Angela and Carmen came along, and I was grateful to have other people with us. I felt like things were starting to get more serious with Angela, and instead of making me happy, it only worried me more. I still didn't know for sure if I was making the right decision, but I knew I didn't want to screw everything up. Angela must have been able to sense my hesitation. Once Carmen took E.C. to the water slide at the pool, Angela pulled me to the steps and sat down, motioning for me to join her.

"So, you wanna talk about what's going on?" she asked, her eyes burning into mine.

"What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath. "Edward, you told me the other day that you're in this if I am. Maybe that doesn't mean to you what it means to me. You've held my hand a couple of times and put your arm around me, but that's it. Look, I'm not trying to push you into some physical relationship. That's not what this is about. I just want to be sure you know what you're doing."

I looked out over the water, watching E.C. and Carmen as they stood in line on the stairs leading to the slide. "Of course I know what I'm doing. Things with Bella are over, I'm moving on. She is, too, so there's nothing to be worried about."

"Do you know for a fact that she's moving on?"

"Yeah, I told you I saw her kissing Jake. What more proof do I need?"

"Edward," she said, her voice laced with disapproval. "That's not proof, and you know it. What if she was just trying it, just to see what it was like? What if she made a mistake? You can't just assume that what you saw is what you think it is."

"I think it's pretty clear, okay? Look, I've been going over this in my head for months now. These last few weeks have made things pretty obvious to me. She doesn't want me."

Angela stared at me for a moment. "Don't even try to pull that on me. I have eyes, I see the way she looks at you. I know you do, too, so own up to it. You're a good guy, Edward, you are. Be honest with yourself and with me. I'm your friend, first and foremost. I just want you to be happy. If that's with me, then great. If it's not, that's fine, too. But as your friend, I want you to be with who you want to be with. Don't settle or try to build up something where it doesn't exist."

"I'm not settling. You're amazing, Angela. How could you think I'm settling by being with you?" I looked at her, wondering how she could question my feelings for her. Though, as I thought about it, I realized I didn't even know what my feelings for her were. With the way I'd been acting, there was no way she could know. Understanding suddenly blinked on like a light bulb in my head. So far, I'd been all over the place toward her, never doing or saying anything that would make my intentions toward her clear. It's no wonder she was confused.

"I think you're settling because I'm not who you really want. You're saying all the right things, but your emotions aren't in it. Your eyes are telling me something completely different, and I think the fact that you won't even attempt to touch anything more than my hand or shoulders makes it pretty clear."

"What, I have to screw you to show you that I like you? Is that it?" I asked, my temper starting to rise.

"No, but we've been at this for months, and that little touch of my hair in your hallway was the most intimate sign you've given me. Most guys would have been trying to kiss me weeks ago, and trying to get in my pants by now, but you don't even look at me like you're interested in those things."

"You don't know anything," I said in a huff, watching E.C. as he emerged from the slide pool and quickly got back in line to go again.

"What if Bella didn't mean all the things she's said? What if she was scared and acting out of fear, not anger?"

Angela's words sank into my brain for a few moments, and I thought about everything that had happened between Bella and I. Could Angela be right?

"What if Bella only kissed Jake because she actually believes that you and I are more than friends? What if she was trying to move on because she thinks you already have? Think about it, Edward. When is the last time you actually talked to her?" Angela sat quietly next to me, her eyes watching me closely.

"I don't know. I can't talk to her. Every time I try, something happens and one of us ends up leaving. It's just too hard."

"If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be worth it." She sighed before softly continuing. "You have a son with her, Edward. For the rest of your life, you're gonna be bound to her, in one way or another. If neither of you are really over the other, and you keep going like this, what kind of life is that gonna be for you? And what is that gonna do to E.C.? Kids pick up on this kinda stuff, they're not blind. He's gonna start figuring things out before too long, and then what will you do?"

Her questions were beginning to make a lot of sense to me. I didn't want to live like this forever. I didn't want my stomach to knot up every time I saw Bella. I didn't want my son to be hurt because I wasn't capable to talking to his mother.

"Look, I just... I don't know how to do this, okay? Obviously, neither does Bella, so maybe right now just isn't the time for us to work through all this. Maybe—I don't know—the wounds are too fresh or something. It's only been three months since she came back into my life. I'm a completely different person now than when she knew me. What if I've changed too much? What if I'm too different? It's just, I know that I want to be happy, and I'm not happy now. Not even close." I watched Carmen and E.C. appear at the bottom of the slide again, both of them laughing and smiling at the excitement of what they were doing.

"Edward, do you even know what you feel for me?" Angela hesitantly asked.

I turned to look at her, searching her eyes for a few seconds before responding. "I know I like you a lot. I think that's good, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's good, but what kind of like is it? I think you need to take a long look at yourself and figure things out." She looked across toward the diving boards at the other end of the pool. "You need to straighten out yourself before you can get involved with anyone else. It's only fair. Like I said, I'm your friend no matter what, so if you don't really want to be with me, I understand. I've been in love before; I know how powerful it is. But please, Edward, if you think you might not really want me, then stop this now before I get my heart broken." She looked down at her lap, where she was nervously picking at her fingernails. "I don't need another Ben in my life. I don't want that hurt again. Just, whatever you decide, respect me enough to spare me unnecessary pain, okay?"

I reached over and took hold of her hand, giving it a squeeze. I didn't really know in that moment what I wanted. As I watched her, I found myself comparing her to Bella again, and I started to wonder what that meant. Thinking back over the past couple of months, I realized that I'd been comparing Angela to Bella since the moment we met. It wasn't fair to her, and I needed to figure out once and for all what my feelings were.

As I watched her push a lock of hair back behind her ear, I came to a tough realization. Angela was her own person, and I had to stop comparing her to someone else. Every little thing about her reminded me of Bella for some reason, but if I wanted this to work—if I truly wanted to grow up and make the best choice for myself—I had to let it go.

"You're a good guy, Edward, and it would be really easy to fall for you. So please, if I mean anything at all to you, just think things over, okay? I would really like to at least be your friend a year from now, five years from now. Please don't ruin my chances of that happening."

With that, Angela stood and climbed out of the pool. I watched her walk over to the bleachers and pick up her towel, drying herself off before she disappeared into the women's changing rooms.

"You guys ready to go?" I heard Carmen yell from the diving board area. She and E.C. were in line to jump off the lowest board. I yelled back that we were, but that I wanted to watch them dive before we left. Standing nervously by as my son flung himself off the safety of the board and into the unknown of the water, I saw a parallel to myself. For the moment, I was safely in friend land with Angela, and even though it was bouncy and rough, I was relatively unharmed. Before me was a whole other world, and it was deep and dark, and I'd never ventured into it before. I didn't know what I'd find if I dove right in, and there was no certainty that I'd surface unharmed, or even in one piece. E.C.'s gleaming little face popped up from the water and instantly my mind was made up. I needed to try, for myself. I needed to see what I wanted, and I had to give it my all. But was I brave enough to take the leap?

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Sooner than I'd hoped, it was Wednesday again. E.C.'s birthday was the next day, and he was very excited about it. When I dropped him off at Bella's that morning, Phil reminded me of the party that Renee was planning for Saturday. I'd been invited weeks earlier, and when I mentioned it to my mom one evening on the phone, she had gotten very quiet. I soon figured out that she was sad about missing E.C.'s birthday. My family was already planning to come to Miami for Thanksgiving, so my mother quickly adjusted their airline tickets and decided to make a week of it. I was excited to have them all there, and anxious to see Emmett and Rosalie's two month old daughter, Emmalie. E.C. was looking forward to playing with the baby, though I'd reminded him several times that she probably wouldn't do much aside from sleeping and eating.

Wednesday in class, my friends and I all worked on a group project we'd been assigned. It was due the following Monday, but we'd worked ahead and were nearly finished, which was good since all of them were headed to their hometowns for the holiday weekend. I knew my family would be in Miami, so I was relieved when Peter suggested we get together on Friday to finish things. After class, I walked to the parking lot with Angela, neither of us saying much. We hadn't really spoken since the conversation we had at the pool, but I was determined to make an effort with her.

"So, my family is flying in on Friday. They'll be here until next weekend, and I wondered if you might want to meet them." I kept my eyes focused straight ahead of me, nervous about what her response would be.

"You want me to meet your family?" she asked, surprise clear in her tone.

"Sure, I think you'll like them. I can just introduce you as my friend, if you want. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you, or anything."

"Okay, that'd be fine."

"Um, E.C.'s birthday is tomorrow, so Bella's mom is having a party on Saturday. All of my family will be there, if you wanna go." I wasn't sure if I should be inviting her or not, but if we were going to be a couple, then in the future we would be attending things like this together. People needed to get used to seeing us, and since E.C. was okay with it, and it was his party, I felt like it would be alright to ask her

"Edward, I don't know. I mean, it's your family, and Bella's family. It sounds like just a family thing, and I don't think I should go. Maybe I can meet them next week before I leave for Colorado. You said they'll be here all week, right?" I watched as her fingers nervously picked at the little white edges of paper sticking out of her notebook.

"Oh, well if you don't want to, it's fine. I just thought that if we're really going to do this, then people need to know we're together, you know?"

"We're doing this?" she asked. "You're really sure?"

"Yes, we're doing this," I said, trying to put as much certainty as I could into my words. "I've thought a lot about it this past week or two, and I just need to jump right in. I'm never gonna get over all these feelings and emotions if I don't try to move past them. I'm ready to move on, and I'm really happy that I get to do that with my friend."

I reached out and took her hand, squeezing it a bit with mine as I wove our fingers together. She watched me, her brown eyes so big and questioning. I noticed that she'd started to breathe a little faster, and it almost made me smile. I was determined to do things differently with Angela. I wanted to take things slow, not be overly aggressive like I'd been with every other woman in my life through the past four years. This was more than just a one night stand or a quick lay. I wanted a future with Angela, a life that I could be proud of and that would make me happy. More than anything, I had to prove to her and myself that I could do this, that I could put someone else's needs before my own.

"We can do this, it'll be fine." I didn't ever want to hurt her or cause her pain, so I decided that I wouldn't ask her to the party, that maybe we could do something else with E.C. instead. "You know, I have him tomorrow afternoon for a few hours. What do you say we take him to one of those pizza places for kids? The ones with all the games and stuff?"

Angela smiled. "Sure, that sounds like fun."

When we got to her car, I waited until she was in and then closed the door, waving to her as she drove away. I was looking forward to the two of us to taking E.C. out for the day. I knew he would love it, and for the first time in a long time, I thought I might really have fun, too.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

Thursday turned out to be a really great afternoon. I loved being able to spend some time with my son on his birthday. I may have gone a little overboard on gifts, but I figured I had three past birthdays to make up for. Angela even brought E.C. a gift, which I thought was very nice of her. When he started talking about taking all of his presents home, I worried for a minute. As much as I was trying to stay out of Bella's way, I didn't want our son bringing home a gift from another woman. I knew how I would feel if E.C. brought home something that Jake had given him, and I didn't want Bella to feel that. I encouraged E.C. to leave all of his new toys at my house, assuring him that he would probably get so many more at his party, that he would never have enough room for all of them. He happily agreed after that.

When Renee showed up to get E.C. that evening, luckily Angela was in the restroom. I had picked her up that afternoon, so Renee most likely didn't even know that she was there. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to mention anything to Renee about which of my friends had gone to the pizza place with me and E.C. Part of me really hoped that E.C. wouldn't tell her, either. As focused as I was on my new decision to try things with Angela, lately my stomach had been knotting up anytime I thought about Bella seeing us together. I wasn't sure what it was, but something was going on with me.

As part of my resolve to move on and take control of my life, I had finally decided to stop thinking about Bella. I knew it would be hard, especially when Angela bit her lip like Bella did, or when she giggled at awful jokes the way Bella always had. I wanted to give Angela the respect she deserved and not taint our relationship with memories of someone from my past. It had been four and a half years since Bella and I had been together, and the last three months had only been filled with misunderstandings and deception. She probably wasn't even the same girl anymore, and I needed to get that through my head. The way things had once been between us was wonderful, but it was only alive in my memories. It was time to give someone else a chance to make some new memories.

After Renee and E.C. left, I took Angela home. She invited me in, and I accepted. I hadn't been inside her apartment before, and I was curious to see if it matched what I thought of her. It was nice, a little on the small side, but the perfect size for her since she lived there alone. She told me that her friend. who had helped when her car was broken into, lived right across from her. I asked a bit about him, curious as to who he was and how well she knew him. She told me his name was Jason, and he was in law school. There were a few other college age people living near them, and they all hung out every once in a while. She liked Jason and said he was a nice guy, so that made me feel a bit better about him living so close to her. I mainly worried because of how he'd acted toward me the week before when I'd met him, but as I thought about it, I started to understand. Of course he liked her, why not? She was a sweet, loving, beautiful woman. Any guy would be happy to have her by his side.

Thinking about that, it dawned on me that as much as I loved being with her, I didn't have that "luckiest guy in the world" feeling that I should have. I knew I should have been more proud to have Angela with me; that I should be anxious to show her off, but I wasn't. I loved being around her, but I didn't feel the need to mark my territory, as so many other men did with their girls. Why was that?

Angela came out of her bedroom, having changed into a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt. She sat down next to me on the sofa, and we watched TV for a little while, not talking much. Finally I felt like I should go. I needed to be up early the next day to get some house cleaning done before class. My parents would be in late Friday night, and they were planning to stay with me. Emmett and Rosalie, as well as Alice and Jasper, had all booked rooms at a hotel a couple of miles from my house, so most likely they would go straight there when they arrived in Miami. I knew my friends were planning to work on our group project Friday afternoon, so I was going to have a busy day.

I stood from the sofa, telling Angela that I needed to get going.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, then," she said, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I'll see you then." I walked toward the door, and she followed me. As I reached for the knob, I paused, taking a deep breath. I turned around and looked at her, clearly catching her by surprise. In the low light of the room, her eyes were a dark, rich brown. Her skin seemed to glow, more pale and luminescent than normal. Her eyes widened as she watched me, then she sucked her lower lip into her mouth and under her top teeth. I couldn't stop myself. I reached up and traced my fingers along her jaw, stopping with them just under her chin. I'd performed the same action at least a hundred times before, but this time—with Angela—it felt different. Lifting her chin a bit, I reached up with my thumb and pulled her bottom lip out, noticing the wet spot on it.

Drawing in a deep breath, I slowly leaned forward, my eyes locked with Angela's. As my nose touched hers, her eyelids slid closed, and I tilted my head a bit. She whimpered as I pressed my lips against hers, feeling how soft they were, and tasting the sweetness of her skin.

It was nothing like Bella's.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: One more chapter to go, and it's a big one. Then we get to recover from the angst and have some fun. :)**

**How about some rec's? I think I'll go a little different this week. These are ALL complete, and angsty. I loved them. Maybe after you read these, my sappy little story won't seem so tough to handle. :D**

_**Dear Isabella**_** by wtvoc and jandco. **_**He said "always". She wasn't so sure. All-human. M for language. All the usual angst applies. **_**Oh golly, I cried. A lot. This was so good. Everything by them is wonderful, but yeah...I really liked this one. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5631045/1/Dear_Isabella**

_**In The Shallows**_** by porcia. **_**Everywhere I look, something reminds me of him. Smells, words, colours, songs. For two years I've cried over him. The best thing that's ever happened to me. The love of my life. He left because we were hurting. Because I was in the shallows. **_**This was SO good. It's a really quick read, so no reason to avoid it. I cried...it was beautiful. And there's this one line...ugh, my heart. :) "I would give up every single thing I own for him. I would throw myself in the water, not knowing how to swim... Because that splash that I'll create? It just might become the wave that will sail his ship towards the setting sun." How can you read that line and NOT rush off to read this story? So good...**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6806523/1/In_the_Shallows**

_**The Poet Upstairs**_** by jenjiveg. **_**Bella rents a room from Edward's mother. A closet poet, she's forced by poverty to marry w/o love. Will she marry the other man or can shy, insecure Edward win her heart? AH, OOC, M for mature themes. No cursing/sex. **_**This one is pretty quick to read, too, and very good! Like, teeny, TINY chapters. I liked it, a lot.**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7158199/1/The_Poet_Upstairs**

**These stories are all on my community thing here, too, so they're easy to find. :)  
**

**Make sure and review, since all of these stories deserve TONS more reviews than they have. And let them know I sent you. Little secret...us authors kind of freak out when we get a sudden growth in number of readers. It drives us crazy until we know where they came from. I always LOVE it when someone tells me who sent them to one of my stories. Plus then I don't think about it for days at a time... :D**

**So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early. The new review system thing goes through the PM system, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can contact you. :) And if this chapter gets more reviews than last chapter, I might pick one out of every 5... I probably will. :D**

**Plus if you review, I'll send you a teaser for next chapter. You'll like it, I promise. Next chapter is a big one. Even I'm nervous about it, and I know what's going to happen! :D**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I don't go there a lot, which is horrible of me.  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**Also, I MIGHT be judging/making banners for a new contest... Details will be up with the next chapter. It sounds like it'll be fun. And HOT! :D**

**So did we see any growth in Edward this time around? Does he seem to be trying, at least? You wanna strangle him, don't you? :D**


	31. Chapter 31 Already Gone

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is hand cream from Bath and Body Works that smells incredible, and that my hands think is their reward for washing dishes. :D Seriously, the Black Amethyst Shea Cashmere Hand Cream is so wonderful...and it smells so good. :D**

**So today in fanfic land was Beta Appreciation Day. Since it's still that day for me...**

**Thanks to my Uberbeta,**_** coldplaywhore**_**! I love her so much, I can't even say for fear of her taking out a restraining order on me. I think she may have not even be TOO mad at my Edward this chapter. Maybe... :D**

**I gotta take a moment to thank my other beta who is also so good to me, my Superbeta, **_**MaggieMay14**_**. Ugh...that woman...I love her. She's so sweet and funny and smart and cute. I just wanna hang out with her and help her pick up guys. :D That would be fun. :D**

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44, **____**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore.**_**They are all so busy and yet they make time for me and my ramblings. It's wonderful. :)**

**Thanks to**___** My Constants **_**and**___** My Girlies.**_**They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey**_**, **____**Mrs. Robward.**_** She's mine, so don't go getting any ideas... :D And YES, we're still planning that collab. We might be planning something more than that, too... :D**

**The girls that got this early were: **___**MeowVemulapalli, Babs75, JustSu, I Punch Werewolves For Fun, FFPassion, Justmecp, Nrbl1, scary1016, zkcej, borntodanceninefour, ana1973, Noelluna, A Girl Who Read The Cereal Box, janneyt,**_** and**___** twimom0974**__**. **_**Thanks for the input and the comments, it helped a lot. :) Most of them agreed, this chapter needs something. A Tissue Warning. :D Maybe it's just because I've been playing this chapter in my head for the past year and a half...it didn't seem too tear inducing to me. Or maybe it's just my evil, cruel black heart. :D**

___**ForeverTeamEdward13**_** and **___**frostedglaze**__**...**_**I tried to get you this early. PM me and I'll send you the next early chapter when it's ready. :) Also, **_**longwhitenights**_**_,_ I tried to send you a teaser but your PM's weren't on. :( Also, if you review as an anon person, I can't send you a teaser. Just so you know. :)**

**I'm gonna give a story rec now, so that you get something. You might need it.**

___**The Mail Order Bride**_**by Lady Gwynedd**_** - **____**It's the late 1800s in the wild west. A lonely man seeks companionship; a woman restricted by **_**convention seeks a future. Add those together and what do you get? **

**This was wonderful. The research was incredible and I fell in love with it. It's also complete and has a completed sequel, so go read it!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/5885420/1/The_Mail_Order_Bride**

**Sorry this chapter was a bit late. Hopefully that just means less time between this and the next one. That's the plan anyway. Also, there's a shout out to my favorite local college football team in this. See if you can spot it...someone who actually played college football with my high school crush. :D He was so cute... My high school crush, that is. :D**

** And as the early readers said...**

****Tissue Warning Alert** Read at your own risk, with a box of tissues nearby. :)**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 31 – Already Gone

_Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our fists held high  
It never would've worked out right  
We were never meant for do or die  
I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop_

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone_

_Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
That doesn't always make you want to cry  
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive  
You know that I love you so,  
I love you enough to let you go_

"Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

As I drove home from Angela's house that night, I had to really concentrate to keep myself on the road. My head was all over the place, and it was freaking me out. "What did I do?" I kept repeating, both in my head and out loud. My fist slammed into the steering wheel several times, and my head banged into the headrest a few times, too. I felt like I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life. Then, I remembered how I had let Bella walk out on me four years earlier and realized _that_ was my biggest mistake. This was most likely my second biggest. Going further back, I recalled the first time I ever saw Bella as she walked into my kitchen in Forks. That image replayed over and over in my head.

_I heard the steps quietly on the wood flooring. I noticed how muted they were, meaning the friend must have been wearing tennis shoes since there was no clicking like Alice and my mother's shoes usually made. That was interesting – Alice being friends with a girl who wore tennis shoes. I couldn't remember Alice ever wearing a pair of tennis shoes in her life. The steps grew closer and more hesitant as they got to the kitchen doorway. I hurriedly tried to soak up the juice with the towel in my hand as the steps came to a stop. I looked up towards the doorway and was met with the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. I forgot about the juice._

_She was looking at Alice, who stood behind me still huffing about the juice bottles. I noticed she wasn't dressed like the girls Alice usually hung around with, and I didn't know her. I hadn't seen her at school, and I immediately wondered where Alice found this girl? I continued to stare at her taking in her long legs, curvy hips, slender waist, and nice rack - seriously nice boobs on this chick. Of course they were covered up by her long, brown wavy hair which led to her creamy white skin and her gorgeous face._

_Then she looked down at me._

_I felt a shock as our eyes met, something I had never felt before. As she stared into my eyes I felt at peace, like I had been treading water for days and she was the raft I had been waiting for. I couldn't breathe._

I had messed up. Badly.

All night I tossed and turned in bed, not managing to get any sleep. I didn't know what to do or how to fix things. I didn't even know if I had the right to _try_ to fix things. When it dawned on me, I was sick to my stomach—I'd used Angela.

She had been nothing but a good friend to me, and I had totally taken advantage of her. As much as I worried about facing Angela again, it paled in comparison to the next time I would see Bella. What was I going to do?

Remembering the way I'd held Angela's hand in front of Bella, and how I'd harbored so much anger and resentment over her not telling me about E.C., had my stomach twisting painfully. I ran to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet. After I finished, I sat against the wall, wishing that my life was as easy to fix as it was to empty my stomach. The rest of the night was spent on the tile floor. I was filled with remorse over how badly I'd screwed everything up, and I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling for a few hours before I finally gave in and got up. I had cleaning to do before I left for class, and I figured if I wasn't going to sleep, I might as well use my time to get things ready for my parent's visit.

My day passed by pretty quickly. I was in a lab for a few hours working on some experiments, and that seemed to take my mind off of my problems for a little while. It was a nice relief, but as soon as I left, someone walked by with a coffee cup from Bella's work, and I was immediately reminded of what a complete douche I'd been to her.

I had a study group scheduled for that afternoon, and I knew Angela would be there, along with my other friends. For a brief moment I thought about backing out. The project was almost finished; they really didn't need me there. I had done a lot of the ground work in the beginning, so I could justify skipping out on the end. As I approached my car, my phone buzzed. Angela's picture flashed as a text message came in. It was a cute picture, taken the night before when we had taken E.C. to the pizza place. She was buried in the ball pit, and her face was glowing with happiness. I couldn't help but take a picture.

_You're still coming to the study group, right? Just checking, I know your parents are coming to town. Talk to you soon._

I let out a deep sigh as I realized I couldn't back out on her. I made a promise to her, and as much as I knew it was a mistake, I didn't want to punish her for my own stupidity. Quickly I typed out a reply.

_Yeah, I'll be there. It's at Peter's at 4, right? We bringing food or anything?_

She replied a few minutes later as I was driving home and once I got to a stop light, I opened her message.

_Yep, Pete's at 4. He's getting pizza. Bring beer, I got chips. Can you pick me up? Jason's borrowing my car. His broke down again & he has to work tonight._

I waited until I was home to write her back.

_Okay, I'll grab beer on my way to get you. Don't forget the modeling glue and scissors._

I laughed, remembering how Randall and Carmen had tried to put our model together using Elmer's glue. It worked...for about an hour, and then fell apart. Who knew plastic wouldn't stick to metal using Elmer's?

_Yes, Dad. See you about 3:45 then?_

_Okay._

I quickly ate some lunch and checked the guest bedroom one more time before finishing up a load of laundry. I wanted the house to be spotless when my parents got there. My dad hadn't seen it yet, and I really wanted to show my mom that I was capable to taking care of it the way she would want me to. I pulled a few weeds in the backyard, since I knew they'd want to see the play set E.C. and I had built. Finally, everything looked perfect. A few minutes after three, I grabbed my supplies and left.

When I picked up Angela, she had a smile on her face, but it didn't seem real—it didn't match her eyes. As we walked to my car, I thought I noticed an odd look from her a few times, but I wasn't sure. When I asked if everything was okay, she just laughed it off and chit chatted all the way to Peter's house. The whole evening was strange.

Carmen was upset about some guy she'd been seeing and Randall was texting half the night to one of the women he'd met at my neighborhood's Halloween carnival. Angela seemed preoccupied. Peter and I appeared to be the only normal two there, although I wasn't sure he would agree with me. As hard as I tried to keep myself in the moment, it was nearly impossible. Angela didn't say much to me the entire night, and I wondered if she'd picked up on my foul mood. I needed to talk to her, and soon.

We finished all of our work and after going through our presentation a few times, everyone seemed to have someplace else they needed to be. Angela and I left, going back to her apartment. It was a little after eight and I knew my parent's flight would be coming in soon. I debated over whether or not I should be home when they got there, but I knew that my mother had a key. I was sure that after their long flight, they'd be tired and probably head straight in to bed.

I pulled up to Angela's apartment building and parked. Now was as good a time as any to talk to her. I wanted to get it over with and have everything out in the open The thought of losing her as a friend had been on my mind all day. I hoped there was some way that I could salvage that aspect of our relationship and keep her in my life. Turning the car off, I looked over at her.

"Can I come up?" I asked.

"Of course," she said, smiling just a bit.

I helped her carry some of her things up the stairs and into her apartment. "Make yourself comfortable. I've been in these clothes since this morning and these shoes are killing me." She disappeared into her bedroom, and I busied myself in her kitchen by emptying the bags we'd just brought in.

Angela cleared her throat from the doorway. "You don't have to do that, you know. I'll just have the maid take care of it." Looking over my shoulder at her, I could see her grin and she laughed at her joke.

I smirked in response. "Whatever, I can help."

"Well, I know you can, but you don't need to. Come on, let's go watch TV or something." I lined up the last few items on the counter and then followed her to the living room. We settled into the couch, neither of us touching. Angela found a cupcake competition show that she seemed to really like, and once it ended, I knew it was now or never...I had to talk to her. I had to make things right between us—to explain things. Hopefully after all was said and done, she would still want to be my friend. It was a long shot, but I needed to try.

"So, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something, but I'm nervous about how you'll take it. I don't want you to hate me, even though that's probably the most likely outcome."

Angela turned to face me, flicking off the television as she did. "Okay, what's up?"

I couldn't look at her, so I kept my eyes focused on a tiny rip in the left knee of my jeans. "I'm a jerk. I told you some things and I don't think I can go through with them. I messed up."

"What kind of things, Edward?" she asked. Her voice was soft and sounded a little nervous, but it was still the sweet Angela tone she always seemed to have.

"I used you to try and get over Bella. I...I used you to make her jealous. I was so angry with her, and so resentful of what she did to me, that I just wanted to get back at her. I wanted her to hurt as much as I did, you know?" I ran my hand through my hair, letting out a long breath. "I just screwed everything up so badly, and I don't know what to do now. She hates me, you're gonna hate me, I hate myself. I just..."

"Edward," she said, reaching over and covering my hand with hers. "It's okay, I know what you mean. I don't hate you, Edward. I mean, I kinda had a feeling you weren't over her. Why do you think I kept telling you to talk to her? To work things out? Why do you think I've been so cautious about our friendship? I do really like you, but just as a friend. I wasn't sure until last night. After you kissed me, I knew for certain that this you and me thing isn't real."

I looked up at her, finding only honesty in her eyes. "You knew? But, you didn't say anything."

She bit down on her lip and wrinkled her nose up a little. "I kinda have a confession to make. I used you, too. I didn't mean to, I just..." She paused, looking down at the couch for a moment. "Ben did such a number on me. For a long time I didn't think I was lovable anymore, you know? I mean, you hear people say things and whisper things, and before long, you start to believe them. I thought what he did was my fault, like I was such a bad girlfriend that he decided to swear off girls all together."

I listened closely to her as she spoke, finding it hard to believe that this confident, self-assured woman could have even an ounce of doubt in herself. I'd never seen her question anything before, and I was a little taken aback.

"Logically, I knew it wasn't my fault. I shouldn't have listened to anyone else, but when people started saying that I was the reason, that he 'turned gay' because I was so horrible that he had to switch teams, I believed them." She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "He really messed me up. It wasn't just that he wanted away from me; it was that he wanted away from the whole life that we had built together. He gave up his entire lifestyle for something different, and he never even told me why. He heard what people were saying about me, and he never even tried to make things right or clear things up. He let them believe it was because of me."

A few tears slid down her face. This was the most open and vulnerable I'd ever seen her, and I couldn't help but reach up and wipe them away from her cheeks.

"Angela, you know that wasn't your fault. Ben was just an idiot. He had something wonderful and he threw it away. That's not your fault, okay?"

She nodded. "See, I know that, but still...it eats at me. I came here not wanting to be with anyone ever again. I was set on spending my life alone, but then when I met you and you told me about you and Bella, I could see how much you loved her. I couldn't understand why, if you loved her so much, you were fighting so hard to stay away from her. When you started talking about moving on, I thought you were crazy. At the same time, I thought who better to try falling for than someone who was clearly in love with someone else."

"What?" I asked, not clear about what she was saying.

"I knew you were in love with Bella. You were safe, Edward. I knew I couldn't truly fall for you and have my heart broken again. I just wanted to test the waters a bit. I wanted to see if I was lovable, if someone could really find me attractive and interesting. I just wanted to see if someone would ever want me, and you were safe. I knew that with you, if you ended up leaving me, I could just tell myself that it was because you were already in love with someone else, that it wasn't my fault. I used you too, Edward, and I'm so sorry."

"Well, don't we make a good pair?" I asked, laughing at the two of us.

"Yeah, I guess so."

We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts. "Well, you know, if you ever are interested in dating someone for real, I might-"

"Edward, stop. You need to work things out with Bella."

I laughed at the sincerity on her face. "No, not me. I mean Jason. I think he likes you. Well, I'm pretty sure he likes you a lot, so maybe you could start there."

"Jason? Why do you say that?" she asked, and I could tell she was honestly curious about my mentioning his name.

"Well, he pretty much burned holes through me with his glares last Monday when I came to give you a ride to school. He was obviously not happy that I showed up. You said he hangs around with you a lot and that you liked him."

She looked at her hands that lay in her lap for a few seconds. "I do like him, he's nice. I just didn't think he was interested in me that way, you know? He's never said or done anything. Are you sure?" she asked. I could tell she thought I was joking or at least stretching the truth, and I wanted to put her mind at ease.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just like you said you know Bella still loves me, I know he likes you. I could see it when he looked at you. You oughta give the guy a chance, he seems nice enough."

Angela smiled a shy little smile, and I noticed that she looked a little embarrassed. "Maybe. We'll see."

"I should go. My parents flight should have landed a little while ago. They're renting a car for the week, but I should be home when they get there, in case I need to let them in. Plus, E.C.'s party is tomorrow, so I need to get going. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she said, nodding just a bit. "Have fun tomorrow and tell E.C. happy birthday for me."

Assuring her that I would, I gave her a hug before leaving. "See you Monday in class, right?" I asked as we stood in the doorway.

"Yep, Monday."

"Oh, and I'd still like you to meet my family, if you want. I think they'd like knowing that I have good friends here. I know they worry, what with me being so far from home."

The smile on Angela's face brightened. "I'd love that."

When I got home, my parents were already there. They were happy to see me, though I could tell they were tired. After showing my dad around the house while my mom finished unpacking their things, I showed them both the play set in the backyard. They loved the hand prints E.C. and I had put in the cement, and after talking for a few more minutes, we headed to bed. We were meeting up with my siblings and their spouses in the morning for breakfast before we all went to Bella's for the birthday party. My mom tried to be inconspicuous when she asked how Bella and I were doing. I let her know that things weren't going the way I'd wanted them too, but that I was making some changes, and I hoped maybe they would be better in the future.

Bright and early the next morning, my house was alive with noise when my brother and sister showed up, along with Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmalie. I was a little nervous to hold the baby, but Emmett assured me that if he could do it, I could, too. I figured that was probably true, and I couldn't stop the smile that grew on my face when she was placed in my arms. She was so tiny and squirmy, I was afraid she would wiggle right out of my grasp. She blinked her big blue eyes at me, staring intently at my face.

"She does that to everyone, you're nothing special," Rose teased.

"Nah, I think she likes me. She clearly has good taste."

"Guess he really is a chick magnet, huh?" Emmett joked, slapping me on the back and making me laugh a bit.

"Not anymore," I whispered to the baby, letting her hold onto my finger. "Her fingernails are so small. I mean, they're like an adult's, only miniature."

Rose laughed. "Yeah, she's like an adult, only miniature, so I guess it fits."

Alice took Jasper and Emmett to the backyard so that they could all see the play set. It wasn't much of a surprise to me that Jasper and Emmett started playing on it. My older brother had always been a big kid at heart, so it only made sense.

"I think mom and dad need to get one of these for all the grand kids to play on," Alice said as she sat in one of the swings, gliding back and forth.

"Ed, you ever think you might come back to Forks?" Jasper asked.

I let out a deep breath. "I don't know, it depends on E.C. I want to be wherever he is, so I guess we'll see."

We went to breakfast after that, enjoying the time we had together. I hadn't laughed so much in a very long time, and I quickly realized just how much I missed my family. I wondered for a moment if Bella would ever want to go back to Washington, maybe after she was done with school. I didn't think it was out of the question since Charlie was still there, but it wasn't something I'd ever asked her.

Rosalie fed the baby, and once Emmalie was all settled, we left for Bella's house. Alice and my mom were the only ones who knew how to get there, so Emmett and his family rode with my parents, while Alice and Jasper rode in his rented sports car. I drove my own vehicle, mainly so that I would have a way to leave if being around Bella got to be too much.

I had decided the night before, after my talk with Angela, that today would be the day—I was going to talk to Bella. I was going to get everything off my chest, even though I knew it probably wasn't the best place and time to do it. I had to get it over with, before I lost my nerve. She needed to know how I felt, and then based on her response, I would either fight for her, or let her go. I didn't want to give up, but I knew that if she really was with Jacob, and he made her happy, then I didn't want to ruin that for her. All I wanted was for her to be okay, and I would wait as long as it took for her to give me another chance. I didn't need anyone else in my life. Bella was who I wanted, and I had resolved to be patient and let her decide what she wanted. First, I just had to make my intentions clear to her.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

The party was in full swing when we got there. At least, it sounded that way from the front yard. I parked across the street, leaving the spot in front of Bella's house open for my parents since they had Rosalie and the baby with them. As I walked across the yard toward the gate on the side of the house, I could hear what sounded like a thousand screaming children. A sigh of relief rushed from my lungs when I saw only about eight or nine of E.C.'s friends there.

My mother jumped right in, helping Renee with the food, while Alice and Jasper helped Bella with some games. I was glad that my mom and Renee were able to talk when my mother and Alice had visited a couple of months earlier. They both just wanted the best for their grandson, and I was still in awe of my mom and how easily she had seen Renee's side of things. My mother honestly didn't see any reason to hold a grudge, and I wished I was more like her. Speaking of harboring resentment, as I stood in the yard, my eyes met Bella's for a split second. She quickly looked away, and I let out a sigh. This was going to be harder than I'd imagined, I thought to myself.

The kids were having a great time, and when E.C. noticed me there, he came running over with a smile plastered on his face. "Daddy!" he screamed, throwing his arms around my neck when I crouched down to scoop him up. "I'n habin' a party, Daddy! You see my fwends here?"

"I see. Did you see anyone special that came to visit you?" I asked.

Just then my father stepped out from behind me, along with Emmett and Rose. "Grandpa!" E.C. yelled, turning in my arms and reaching for my father.

"Hey there, birthday boy! I missed you," my dad said, reaching toward my son and pulling him into his arms for a hug. "You look like you're having fun."

"Yep, I gots a birtday and my fwends comed over to pway wif me. You come for my birtday?"

"I sure did, and so did Granny and Uncle Emmett and Auntie Alice, too."

E.C. looked around a little bit, spotting my other family members and smiling. "Is der a baby here? I wanna pway wif da baby, Grandpa."

Rose came around and introduced E.C. to a sleeping Emmalie. "Her's tiny, huh, Daddy?" E.C. commented.

"Yeah, she sure is."

"Was I tiny like dat, Daddy?" he asked, looking up to me. His simple little question unleashed a flood of emotion from me. I didn't know what to tell him. I knew that in truth, he was once that small, but I'd never seen him that way. I couldn't imagine him any smaller than what he was in that moment.

"Yeah, you were little just like her," my dad said, saving me after noticing that I was obviously having a little trouble answering.

We stood around admiring the baby for a few minutes until Renee came over, introducing herself to my family members that she hadn't met yet. The next hour passed by with relative calmness and no major emergencies from E.C.'s friends. Bella and I had been steadily working our way nearer to one another as we both stayed busy entertaining the pint sized party guests and our family members. As much as I wanted to pull her aside and talk to her, I knew it would most likely be better if I at least waited until the main party was over and E.C.'s guests had all gone home.

With about half an hour left, Emmett and I were sitting next to each other, making balloon animals for the kids. How we'd gotten roped into that, I wasn't sure. We had a line of kids standing in front of us, and as I blew up the balloons, Emmett did his best to create everything the kids were requesting. So far, he'd made two dogs, an alligator, a giraffe, three swords, and—my personal favorite—a snake. Why the cute little girl had asked for a snake, I didn't know, but it was easy enough to build, since I basically just blew up the balloon and handed it to her.

A few minutes later I noticed the balloon wasn't the only snake at the party. I looked up to laugh at something Jasper had said and instead saw Jacob walking into the back yard, a small gift bag in his hand.

"Oh crap," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Emmett asked, turning to look in the direction I was staring. "Who's that?"

"Jake. That's Jake the Snake. Should have known she'd invite him."

Emmett and I watched Jake approach Bella, giving her the present and talking to her for a few minutes. I had to admit, they didn't look overly friendly, and Bella didn't seem thrilled to see him. It looked to me that her smile was somewhat forced and that maybe she wanted to get away from him. Those observations made me happy, and I smiled a little as I went back to blowing up a red balloon.

"I get what you were saying, he's a big guy," Emmett casually said.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Now you see why I can't exactly fight for her? I'd end up in the hospital with a broken jaw, and probably broken everything else, too."

Emmett was quiet for a few moments, twisting a balloon into some shape I didn't recognize. "Well, you know, if you wanna tag team and beat the crap out of him, I'm game."

I laughed at his apparent eagerness. "Good to know. I'll think about it, maybe."

Soon enough all the children had gone home and we were helping Renee and Phil put some of the party decorations away. They had planned a bar-b-que for my family that afternoon, so we were going to be sticking around for a few more hours. E.C. was happily playing with all the gifts he'd received, and I sat back, watching my family enjoy themselves. I noticed Jake sitting on a chair near the house, and every so often his glare would catch mine, and we'd stare each other down. Each time, one of us would get bored and look away, but soon enough, our eyes would meet again.

Bella didn't spend much time talking to Jake, or even sitting with him, which puzzled me. Why, if she had invited him, wouldn't she want to spend time with him? He looked a little bored, to be honest. Once Phil started cleaning the bar-b-que, Jake went to talk to him, and I decided I'd had enough. It was time to talk to Bella. She was putting away the remnants of Pin the Tail on the Donkey when I approached her.

"Hey, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you." Her movements paused and she stood frozen before me. I couldn't help but notice that she wouldn't look at me, and I waited for her to say something in response to my request. "Please, Bella. I just wanna talk," I said softly.

"Okay, um, give me a minute. I need to finish with this and then I'll be free."

"Alright," I said, turning and walking toward Jasper and Alice. I noticed Jake's eyes glued to Bella as I walked away from her, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"You haven't talked to Bella at all today. Things aren't any better, are they?" Alice asked.

"No, actually they're worse than ever. I'm done with it, though. I'm gonna talk to her today, see what's going on. I can't do this anymore."

Jasper took a long drink from his beer bottle before letting out a sigh. "You probably should have done this a long time ago, saved yourself some serious heartache."

"You think?" I asked, sarcastically.

He laughed. "Oh man, Edward, I can see your lack of communication skills extends into your real life, too. It didn't end after college, huh?"

I smiled, knowing he was right. I'd never been good at expressing myself or my feelings. "Hey, let's be fair here, I'm still _in_ college. I got a few more years to go."

"Excuses, excuses," he said, grinning silently at Alice.

It was then that I noticed Jacob follow Bella into the house. "What's he doing now?" I murmured to myself before following after them. I wasn't in the mood to find a reenactment of Bella's birthday party, but I also wasn't going to lose her before I had a chance to finally tell her what was going through my head.

The house was quiet, for the most part. I didn't see either of them anywhere, and then I noticed the front door slightly opened. When I got closer to it, I could hear Bella and Jake in the front yard, talking. Her voice was low and soft, but his seemed to be steadily rising.

"I warned you about this, Bella. I told you this was gonna happen, but you just don't listen," he said.

"Jake, just leave it alone. It's not what you think, so stop."

"I'm not gonna stop, Bella. I care about you too much to see you get hurt by him and all his crap." I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but I couldn't help myself. Obviously, they were talking about me, and I had to know what was going on.

"He can't hurt any more, okay? Look, I told you things were over with him, so why can't you believe me? Why do you have to keep bringing up the same crap over and over again? He's E.C.'s father. He's always gonna be around, and that's just the way it is, whether you like it or not," Bella said, her voice clearly strained.

I listened as Jake let out a long sigh. "Fine, but I'm telling you to be careful. You know how much I love you, I just don't want to see you hurt, Bells." I couldn't see them, but they were silent for a few moments, and the lack of conversation was killing me.

"I love you, too, Jake," Bella said softly, driving one final nail through my heart. I turned from the door, walking back into the living room and sitting down on the sofa. After hearing what I'd just heard, I knew there was no point in fighting for Bella. Not right then, anyhow. She was clearly in love with someone else, and I had to let her go. If Jacob was the person that made her happy, then I wanted her to be with him, even if I was miserable.

The house was quiet and I thought it might be the perfect opportunity for me to talk to her without anyone overhearing or interrupting us. My knees were apart with my elbows resting on them as I leaned forward, staring at the floor. I heard the door squeak open and then shut with a click. Bella's footsteps softly clacked across the floor, coming to a slow stop. I didn't have to look up to know that she'd seen me.

"Are you waiting for me?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I figured now's as good a time as any. You got a few minutes? I won't take too long, I promise."

"Okay," she said, moving to sit on the other end of the couch from me.

"I just wanted to say some things. I need to get this out, I've been thinking about it for weeks now, and it's eating me alive." I cast a sideways glance at her, watching as she nodded in response to my words. "I'm sorry about Angela. We're just friends, I promise. I wanted it to be more...I wanted to make it into something more, but it's never gonna be that. I ended things with her last night. I mean, not that there was really anything to end." She drew in a deep breath, and I could tell from the way her shoulders tensed that she didn't believe me.

"She's a really good friend, and she was hurting, too. Neither of us was in a position to be more than friends. You kinda can't move on with someone new when you're still in love with somebody else." I stopped, trying to collect my thoughts. I needed what I said to be perfect, to get across everything I was feeling. "I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to make you feel as much pain as I was feeling. I wanted you to suffer like you were making me suffer. I was so angry and resentful about the whole E.C. thing. I just couldn't get past it."

"I'm sorry, Edward." Her voice was filled with so much sadness and sorrow. I didn't want her to continue beating herself up over what had happened. She needed to know, for certain, how I felt about what she'd done—about her leaving me. As much as I wished she hadn't, it was in the past and I was finally over it.

"I know, I know. I'm not mad anymore. I realize what an idiot I've been. I know why you did what you did—why you left. I understand it. I don't like it, but I get it. I know you did what you thought was best, and I can't be angry about that, you know? I don't want to live like that, so upset with you. I want to move forward, to find some kind of happiness in all this. I want a life and a future, and I want it to be good. You know what I mean?"

"I know," she said quietly, nodding as she looked down at the floor.

"I'm not gonna fight you any more on custody. I know how much E.C. needs you, and I know how much you need him. It wasn't right for me to come waltzing in and just take him from you. Don't get me wrong, I want time with him, but I won't hold you to the half and half thing. If you need him more often, just say so and we'll figure it out."

Bella looked up at me. "Really?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. I don't wanna hurt you anymore, Bella. I want you to be happy, and I know that right now I don't make you happy. I'm not making your life any easier, and I want to change that. Just please, don't screw me over on this, okay?"

"I won't. Thank you, Edward."

I nodded, flicking my tongue out to wet my lips before I continued. "I mean it when I say I want you to be happy. I want you have a good life and have what you want. That's why I'm not gonna play around anymore with the whole Angela thing. We are friends, and we're gonna be friends, but that's all it will ever be. Her last boyfriend kinda messed her up, and she was just trying things out with me so that she could prove to herself that she really was worth it—that someone else really could love her."

I looked up at Bella, waiting until our eyes met. "She's really a good person, Bella. I mean it. She reminds me so much of you. I think that's why I decided if I was gonna honestly try to be with someone, it would be her. Please don't be angry when she's around, okay? E.C. loves her and she loves him, so I don't want her to disappear from his life. It's probably a lot the same way with you and Jacob, right?"

"What?" she asked, her brow tensing up a bit.

"Jake is your close friend and E.C. loves him. I'm sure Jake loves E.C., too, and it's not fair to deny E.C. his friendships just because one of us doesn't like the person. I mean, we're allowed to be involved with other people and it's only natural that our son is going to develop a bond with them. I think it's healthy for him to have that, you know?"

"Um, Jake is my friend, but that's it, Edward. You make it seem like there's something more to it."

I let out a sigh. "I saw you, Bella. I saw you kissing him."

Her eyes grew wider as panic began to spread across her face. "What?"

"I saw you kissing him at your work, in the backroom. Last weekend, I was there. Steph let me in and I saw you."

"Edward...uh..."

"No, it's okay. I know he's the secret you've been keeping from me. Now that I know, you don't have to be so secretive about it anymore. I can't promise that I'll always be nice about seeing you two together, but I'll try. Just give me some time to get used to it."

She started to shake her head. "I think you're misunderstanding things. It's not what-"

"It's fine, really. I'm not gonna pull you in two directions anymore. I won't make you choose." I slid down the couch to her, our thighs touching as I reached out and took her hand into mine. "I love you, Bella. I'm never gonna love anyone else the way I love you. I don't want anyone else, not ever again."

Her breathing picked up and I felt her fingers tighten around mine. "Edward, I don't..."

"Baby, it's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know that I love you. I always will. I've made so many mistakes and messed things up so badly, but I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm gonna do my best to fix things, and I'm gonna prove myself to you. However long it takes, I'll wait. I'm content to wait, even if it means you never come back to me."

She nodded. "You love me?" she whispered.

"I do, so much. I just wanted to make sure you knew, before I let you go."

Her eyes met mine, and I watched as they filled with tears. "Let me go?"

"Yeah, I can let you go now, because I know that's what you want. I know you'll be happier this way, and that's what I want. I've loved you my whole life—even before I met you, somehow I knew you would find me—and I don't think that will ever change. I just want to make things easier for you. I think that means I have to let you go for now. But believe me, I'll always be waiting for you to come back."

"Edward..." she mumbled as I reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. The feeling I got when I touched her reminded me of why I was doing what I was doing. It was so much more intense than when I'd touched Angela, and I knew for certainty that Bella was the only woman I would ever want, no matter how long I lived.

"I love you, forever." I leaned forward, kissing her softly on her forehead. "Forever, Love. Forever."

As our foreheads touched, I saw tears sliding down her face and her teeth biting into her lower lip. We sat like that for a few moments, my fingers pushed into her hair as we both breathed heavily. She closed her eyes, sniffling a bit as I let go of her hand and reached up to wrap my fingers around her cheek. I lifted her face a bit and then leaned to the side, letting my lips brush hers lightly.

"My Bella," I said against her mouth as she whispered something I couldn't quite understand. I knew I had to go, before I changed my mind. If I sat with her much longer, I was going to take back everything I'd just said. I was going to get selfish again and beg her to forgive me, and to love me instead of someone else.

Slowly I stood from the couch, then turned and walked toward the back door. I needed to say goodbye to E.C. and my family; tell them some excuse for my leaving so quickly. When I looked back to Bella, she was still sitting on the sofa, looking up at me, as she continued to sniffle a bit. I gave her the half smile that had always belonged to her, and then winked before I stepped out the door.

"Mom, I'm gonna take off," I said as I approached my mother and father.

"Honey, is everything okay?" she asked, clearly worried about me.

"Yeah, things are fine. I'm just not feeling too well, I think I'm gonna go home and rest."

"Okay. You want us to bring you some food when we come back? You haven't eaten much this afternoon." I smiled at her, loving the fact that she still wanted to take care of me. I was sure Bella would be the same way when E.C. was grown, and I only hoped that we'd be okay with each other by then so that I could be around to see it.

"That would be great. Thanks, Mom." I thanked Renee and Phil for the party and for being so kind as to invite my family. I apologized to Renee for taking off, but she gave me a knowing smile and a hug.

"Is Bella okay?" she softly whispered to me.

"I think so. At least I hope after today that she will be."

I said goodbye to my siblings and their spouses, then hugged E.C. and told him I was heading home for a nap. He giggled, thinking it was funny that a daddy needed a nap. I looked at him, watching his eyes that were so much like Bella's. They sparkled in the sun as he laughed and kissed my cheeks over and over again. After ruffling his hair a bit and kissing him lightly on the forehead, I put him down and smiled as he ran off toward his pile of birthday gifts.

For a few more seconds. I watched my family enjoy themselves before I turned and left the yard, walking out of the gate that had been propped open for the party guests. I walked across the street to my car, opening the door and sliding in. Sitting there for a moment before I started it up, I thought about what had happened. I really did love Bella, and I wanted her to be happy. I had gotten so lost in my own feelings and emotions that I'd neglected to take into account how my choices would affect her. Pushing the key into the ignition, I resolved to never make that mistake again. I lowered the windows, letting in some of the cooler fall air.

"E.C.?" I heard Bella yelling. I looked over and saw her coming through the gate, her eyes glancing around the yard. "E.C.?" she yelled a little louder.

Things happened so fast, I didn't really even understand what was happening until later. Bella stood frozen in the yard, yelling to our son. I turned my head in the direction that she was looking and saw our little boy running across the grass, his eyes focused on me as he yelled "Daddy" in my direction. He held a toy of some sort in his hand, and wasn't paying attention to anything else.

Bella screamed louder, calling his name, but he didn't hear her. He darted out between two cars parked in front of the house, and it wasn't until I heard the screeching of tires that I knew why Bella was screaming and running toward him.

The car never saw him, never had time to slow down. I watched helplessly as it hit my son—my little boy—causing his limp body to fly into the air. All other sounds seemed to fade away as I heard the thud of his head hitting the ground, his body crumpling in the street as the toy in his hand rolled onto the asphalt next to him. After that, the only thing anyone could hear where the agonizing and helpless screams of a mother as she raced toward her baby, knowing there was nothing she could do to save him.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Trust.**


	32. Chapter 32 Breathe

**A/N: Holy mother of all A/N's, here we go...**

**I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a hip that's been KILLING ME for almost 2 weeks now. You know, I used to love watching videos of hip replacement surgeries. I wonder if they sell a 'Do It Yourself At Home' kit for that... I could totally do it! Those surgeries were awesome to watch!**

**Thanks to my Uberbeta,**_** coldplaywhore.**_** She strongly dislikes my Edward and I think she can't wait to get rid of me and this wordy story. But she's too nice to tell me that. :) I love her anyway. :)**

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44,**____** Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. **__**T**_**hey have lives, yet I continue to live under the impression that they revolve around me. I need to stop thinking that way. :D**

**Special thanks this time around to **___**Meli1518 **_**and **___**Rochelle Allison**_** for the Miami help. I was stumped, but you girls saved my tushie. :)**

**Thanks to**** My Constants ****and**** My Girlies. ****They are lovely…**

**Thanks to My Wifey**_**, **____**Mrs. Robward.**_** She's writing me the most awesome drabble fic. Really, it's so good...and angsty...and HOT! You should read it, it's in my favorites. It's called ****Might Have Been****, and I love it!**

*****Disclaimer*****

**I'm not a doctor, nor have I witnessed an accident like the one that happened to E.C. I do, however, have some rather sad and unfortunate experiences in my own life to draw from. All of the medical stuff in this comes from those experiences. The head trauma thing...my bff in hs was almost killed in a car accident the day of our senior prom. She had head trauma, was in a coma for 10 days, wasn't expected to live through the first night, and screamed like E.C. does. I've been there, it's not pretty. And the arm thing, totally happened to my youngest when she fell off a pool ladder right in front of me. I kept praying the joint was just dislocated, but alas...it was broken. I know doctor's aren't always nice and don't always take time, but the ones I dealt with in these instances did. Maybe it was all my crying that threw them, who knows. :D Also, uberbeta is worried about the miniature tools the ER crew would be using. I saw a news report not long ago about a hospital in my area that has an ER specifically designed for children, and all the instruments they use are smaller and sized for kids. Maybe the news people were smokin' crack or something, but they showed stuff...and the stuff they showed was smaller than the normal stuff. I figure E.C.'s in a children's hospital. If there are smaller tools, they're gonna have them, right? I'm going with it. :)**

**Sorry this is late. Real life and the sheer size of this chapter (11,600+ words, 21 pages) took a little longer. This is the longest chapter of the story, so I hope you enjoy it. :)**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 32 – Breathe

_Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie  
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see  
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down  
Now I don't know what to be without you around_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to_

"Breathe" by Taylor Swift

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

I sat on the hard chair, running my tongue over my swollen lip. I could feel the break in the skin and taste the iron in my blood that was still seeping from the open wound. My father tried to get me to let someone look at it, but I refused. It would have to wait; I had more important things to do. Namely, sitting in a quiet room as the sound of machines beeped a few feet away from me. Bella's head lay on my lap and my fingers gently slid through her hair. She had finally fallen asleep, even if only for a few minutes, and I didn't plan to wake her up unless something happened.

Footsteps out in the hallway grew louder, causing me to turn and watch the door. They didn't stop, just continued shuffling along until they got quieter. The heart monitor kept beeping, accompanied by the whooshing of the respirator. If you didn't know what to look for, the bed would seem to be filled with just blankets, bandages, and wires. I knew my son was under all of those things, and my mind ran back over the past 24 hours as I looked at the tiny hand that poked out from underneath all the white hospital issued bedding.

Bella screamed so loudly, it was a wonder that she didn't burst her own eardrums. I knew it was bad, looking at my son as he lay in the street, unconscious. As she approached him, all the years of growing up with a doctor for a father kicked in. I didn't remember much from medical school, but we hadn't really discussed trauma yet, we were still doing theory from our textbooks. Being around my father had taught me enough to know that we shouldn't move E.C., especially since we didn't know how extensive his injuries were.

I jumped out of the car, rushing to his side and getting there just as Bella reached for him, trying to scoop him up.

"No, Bella, don't touch him!" I yelled, causing her to look up at me.

"Edward?" From the look on her face I could tell she didn't understand.

"We don't know what's wrong, we could just make it worse. We have to leave him alone."

"My baby..." she cried, and I pulled her against me.

By that point the driver of the car was standing in the road, next to her SUV, mumbling and crying about how sorry she was, that she didn't mean to do it. She was a middle-aged woman, and when I glanced over at the car, I could see two car seats in the backseat. Having seen the whole thing, I knew it wasn't her fault, but I didn't have it in me to comfort her. I needed to focus on my son, and on Bella.

I yelled for my parents as loudly as I could, then noticed Bella's neighbor who had been on her front porch running into Bella's back yard. When Renee and my mother came running toward the street, both of them started to scream, which just made the rest of my family panic that much more. Holding Bella against me, I continued to call out for my father. Within a few moments, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Emmett there, pulling me away from my son. Bella started to protest, but I held her tight against me. I knew there was nothing either of us could do, and I didn't want her to have to watch our son die, if that's what was going to happen.

"Emmett, call 911!" my father yelled as he knelt down next to E.C. I didn't know how he was managing, but I could tell by the determined look on his face that he was in full doctor mode. His hands felt all over my son's body and it was then point when I realized E.C.'s arm didn't look right. There wasn't blood anywhere around him, which I hoped was a good thing, but he'd hit the ground so hard, that I knew it was stupid to hope he would just jump up and walk away.

Emmett led us toward the back of the car where my mother and Alice, who was holding Emmalie, waited. We were out of sight so that neither Bella or I could see what was happening to E.C. I tried to look around the car and watch my father again, but was only able to see Rose kneeling next to him, helping him assess my son. She was an emergency room nurse, and though she hadn't worked in several months, she seemed to know exactly what to do. Bella whimpered in my arms, clinging to me and refusing to let go, even when Renee tried to hug her. She just kept mumbling my name, along with E.C.'s, saying, "Help him, please," over and over again.

It seemed like forever before I finally heard the sirens in the distance. Several police cars pulled up, in addition to a fire truck and an ambulance. People were running all around us, yelling out numbers and status reports. I tried to hear what my father was telling them, but I could only see his mouth moving; there didn't seem to be any sound coming from him. Within minutes the EMT's had E.C. strapped to a backboard and were getting him loaded onto a gurney.

"Excuse me, Sir? Sir?" a man said from behind me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned my head to the side so I could see him.

"Yes?" I said, my voice barely able to be heard over all the activity surrounding us.

"Are you the father?" His words didn't really register with me, and I looked at him with what must have been a confused expression. "The little boy, is he your son?"

I cleared my throat, unsure if I was going to be able to speak. "Yes, he's my son."

"The ambulance is almost ready to go. We need to know if anyone plans to ride with him, there's room for one person. Is this his mother?" he asked, gesturing toward Bella who was still sobbing into my chest, her hands clenching my shirt.

"Yes, she's his mom. Um, just one person?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that's all there's room for. We need to know quickly, we can't wait around." I knew it had to be Bella that went with him. I couldn't leave her alone to go myself. I didn't know if she could even stand on her own, which made me wonder if she'd be okay in the back of an ambulance with him. For a moment, I thought I should probably send my father, but then Bella stiffened and looked up at me.

"They're taking him away? Where are they taking him?" Her voice started to rise, her words coming out a little more hysterical as she continued to talk and glance around us. "I need to be with him. If he wakes up, he'll need me. He's gonna be so scared, he needs me."

Her eyes were searching mine, wanting confirmation that what she was saying was right. I didn't have the heart to tell her that since he was unconscious, and had hit his head so hard on the asphalt, I didn't think he'd be waking up anytime soon. There was movement to my right and I looked over, watching as they started pushing the gurney toward the ambulance.

"Sir, we need to go now," the man said.

I looked back at Bella, her eyes still wild with fear. "Can you go with him? Will you be okay? I'll follow you; I'll be right behind you."

Bella nodded, "Yes, I can do it."

I pulled her against me, kissing her hard on the forehead before finally letting her go. I grabbed her hand and walked her to the ambulance. The EMT's were frantically working on E.C. and I felt Bella suck in a quick breath as soon as she saw him. It was a scary scene, and he looked so small and helpless, but I felt safe in the knowledge that no matter what happened, there was nothing more that we could have done for him. He had gotten the best care possible up to that point, and now it was just up to fate.

"You'll be behind us? You'll follow us?" Bella asked, looking up at me as she fought to keep herself from crumbling.

"Yes, right behind you. I promise, okay? Go, quick."

The EMT in the back of the ambulance looked up at us. "We gotta move!" he yelled, and I pushed Bella toward the door, holding her hand as she climbed inside and sat down on the little seating space. Backing up, I watched a woman slam the doors closed, separating me from my family. My heart felt like jumping out of my body, desperate to be with them, but I couldn't be. Bella's eyes found mine through the little window in the door, and I could see how scared she was. There was nothing I could do. The sirens wailed again as the ambulance pulled forward and started down the street.

There were people all around me, trying to ask me questions. A police officer was next to me, and I could almost make out her words, something about having witnessed the accident. I didn't have time to help her; I had to get to my son.

"I'm sorry, that's my son. I need to go with him," I said to her quickly. The man that had initially spoken to me, asking if I was E.C.'s father, was still nearby.

"Where are they taking him?" I asked, needing to leave as quickly as I could. I knew it wasn't a good idea to just follow the ambulance without at least finding out where they were going. If we got separated in traffic, I might drive around for hours before locating them. I couldn't leave Bella alone for that long; I had to get to them.

"Holtz Children's Hospital. Do you know where that is?" he asked.

"Yeah, I know it," I said, before turning and running to my car. My family was still standing around in shock, all looking at me, but I didn't have time to stop. I had to get to Bella and my son. "Holtz!" I yelled to my dad, hoping he would figure out what I meant.

"Mr. Cullen!" a police officer yelled to me, but I didn't listen. I jumped into my car, started it up, and honked the horn as I pulled away, urging people to get out of my path. My phone started to ring almost instantly, and being worried that it might be Bella, I answered it.

"Yeah? I'm on my way!" I practically yelled into the receiver.

"Edward, it's Dad. You sure you're okay to drive? I could go with you."

"No, I'm fine. They're taking him to Holtz Children's Hospital. It's on the University Medical Campus. Take I-95 South towards Miami International Airport, at 836. I gotta get there; I promised Bella I'd be right behind her."

"All right. I'll get your mother and we'll be right there." I hung up, needing to focus on traffic and how fast I was going. I knew I should probably slow down, but I didn't care. I needed to get to E.C. and Bella, and I didn't have any time to waste.

The Medical Campus was a little confusing, with so many large buildings located so closely to one another. If it weren't for the fact that I was on that campus all the time for school, I would have been lost. I found the closest parking lot and parked, sprinting as fast as I could to the emergency entry. The ambulance was in the bay, and I saw one of the EMT's from the accident standing outside the truck, looking through some equipment.

"Where are they?" I yelled at him, slowing to a jog as I approached him.

"They're right inside, we just got here."

I should have said thank you, but my mind was focused on only one thing—finding my son and Bella. The sliding doors slowly opened and I entered a reception area with a waiting room off to one side. There was a desk straight ahead of me, and I hurried toward it.

"My son was just brought in. He was hit by a car," I said, trying to keep my voice low and not yell at the woman sitting behind the desk. My emotions were running wild, but I knew I shouldn't take it out on her. Especially not when I needed her help.

"Last name?" she calmly said. How she could be so calm when I was so frantic, I didn't know. Apparently working in an emergency department numbed you to the urgency of these types of situations.

"Cullen. He's a little boy, the ambulance is still outside. They like, JUST got here."

"Hang on," she said, typing away on her computer. "Okay, straight down the hallway to your left, Trauma 3. There are seats outside in the hall; you'll need to wait there."

"Thank you!" I said, as I took off running. I rounded a corner and saw Bella sitting alone on a chair, her body rocking back and forth, as she dug her teeth into her lower lip. Her hands were clenched together on her lap as she was staring straight ahead, her eyes glazed over.

"Bella?" I asked as I approached.

Her head slowly turned toward me, the look in her eyes completely crushing me. Was I too late? Was it over? "Edward?" she whispered.

"I'm here," I said, moving to sit next to her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Edward, he's in there. They took him in there," she mumbled as she pointed toward a room directly across from us. I looked up, seeing several doctors and nurses moving around the room. The doors were closed, but through the windows I was able to watch them working on my little boy. It was probably an odd time for me to notice, but as I watched them, I realized just how small all of the equipment was that they were using. It made sense, since this was a children's hospital, but somehow all of the things I was used to seeing looked so much scarier in miniature.

"Did they say anything?" I asked her, looking back at Bella.

"No. He started screaming on the way here. He was screaming so loud, Edward. I thought he was waking up, but he didn't wake up. He just screamed and screamed. I don't know why." Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she leaned against me. I felt my shirt getting damp as she cried, but I didn't care. She needed me and I would do anything I could to comfort her.

We sat alone for what felt like an hour or so before a doctor finally came out of the trauma room, holding a clip board. He looked up at us. "Are you the parents of E.C. Cullen?" he asked. Bella and I nodded, unable to say anything. I could feel her body tense up, afraid of the news that we were about to receive. "Do you have anyone else here with you?"

"Um, I don't know. Our parents are probably here, maybe," I said.

"Why don't you go check the waiting room, see if they've arrived? I need to speak with you both, but if you'd like to have someone else with you, I think that would be a good idea."

My heart sank. If it was good news, we wouldn't need any moral support, right? This must mean things were bad, worse than I'd imagine. I slowly stood, whispering to Bella that I'd be right back. When I came to the waiting room, I saw my parents, along with Renee and Phil, and Alice and Jasper. My father quickly stood and came to me, pulling me into a tight hug. It took every ounce of strength I had to not fall apart in his arms. I could feel him shake against me just a bit, and I pulled myself away before I completely lost it. I couldn't bring myself to look in his eyes.

"So?" he quietly said, and I could tell from the quiver in his voice that he was trying not to cry.

"The doctor wants to talk to us. He said if we needed anyone with us, to get them. I think we need you. I think this is bad, Dad." I tried my hardest to keep from sobbing, but tears started to slide down my face. I heard Renee begin to weep, most likely thinking there was no hope. My father turned around and motioned for everyone to follow us, and we hurried back down the hall to where Bella and the doctor were waiting.

"Come this way," he said, leading us a little farther into the hospital and to a small room where we could have some privacy. Once everyone was seated, the doctor began.

"Your son has suffered severe head trauma. We're currently monitoring his brain activity. So far things look okay, but that can change in an instant. When you're dealing with the brain, you just never know, it's typically very unpredictable." He looked back and forth between Bella and I, making sure that we understood what he was saying. "He's been unconscious since arrival and we're placed him under a medically induced coma. We want to give his body time to heal, and it's easiest to do that if we keep him sedated."

"But he was screaming...why was he screaming?" Bella softly asked.

"Well, sometimes with head injuries, that happens. Patients will scream for no reason, kind of an impulse reaction. We can actually tell a lot about their injuries by the way they scream—the pitch, the tone, the volume—they're all indicators to the severity and type of injury. It's completely normal." I breathed a sigh of relief after hearing the doctor's explanation. My father was nodding in agreement, and I felt Bella relax a little against me.

"Like I said, we're going to monitor the brain waves and patterns to make sure that things are looking okay. Right now they're a little less active than usual for a four year old, but nothing to be too concerned about just yet. We'll keep an eye on the situation." He glanced down to the clipboard he was holding, flipping the page before continuing. "Aside from the head trauma, his right arm was broken, most likely from the impact with the car. It looks to be about the right height for where the bumper of the SUV would have impacted him. He's got a few cracked ribs on that side, too. We're keeping watch on his vital organs and for any internal bleeding, but so far, we haven't seen any signs of that, which is a good thing."

As positive as things sounded, I knew we weren't out of the woods just yet. Sometimes after accidents, injuries took a while to show up, and I knew it would most likely be a few days before E.C. was in the clear.

"We're going to get him into ICU soon, and we've scheduled surgery on his arm this evening. It's broken just above the elbow, but it doesn't look like the break was in the growth plate, so we shouldn't have any complications from that in the future. We're going to put some pins into the bone and soft cast it. That should take about four weeks to heal, so he'll have to be careful with that." The doctor looked at Bella and me, sighing as his 'professional' mask seemed to slip from his face. "He was very lucky. Children are resilient and incredible when it comes to recovering from accidents. He's a strong, healthy little boy, and I think if he can pull through the next day or two all right, he's going to be fine. I need to get back in there so we can get him transferred upstairs, but I'll be meeting with you again soon, probably this evening after the surgery for his arm. We'll see where things stand at that point."

"Thank you for everything," I said, reaching out to shake his hand before he left the room. We sat in silence for several moments, only the sound of sniffling could be heard. After about half an hour, a nurse entered the room. She asked us if we could follow her, and she would take us to where they'd moved E.C. We quietly trailed behind her, finally coming to a stop at one of the countless rooms in some random hallway. With all the twists and turns, and identical hallways, I'd lost all sense of direction. I wondered if I'd ever be able to find my way back if I had to leave.

The nurse turned and quietly spoke to us. "Your son is in here. This room houses four beds, so there are other children in here. It's imperative that you keep the noise level to a minimum. Each bed has two chairs next to it, for parents or family to use. We have designated visiting hours, but immediate family is welcome twenty-four hours a day. Shift change is from seven to eight in the morning and evening, and we ask that you try to have as few people as possible here during that time."

"All right," I said, nodding that I understood her.

"Today there is only one other child in the room, though these rooms can fill up quickly. Once your son is improving and most likely when he's awake, we'll move to a more private room, but until then, this is the best way for us to care for him the way he needs to be cared for. I believe his surgery is scheduled for six thirty this evening, but the doctor will come in and talk to you before that happens. He'll inform you about what to expect. Do you have any questions?"

"Um, is there a limit on ages or how many people are allowed in the room? I mean, we don't have a lot of people, but is there a limit on that?" I asked.

"No one under fourteen is allowed into these rooms, though they can be in the waiting rooms. Aside from that, there's not really a limit on the number of people allowed, but just keep in mind the space is small, especially once all the beds are full. For now, I think if you keep it to this number or less, you'll be fine. The other child only has a mother and grandmother that are normally here, so I think you should be okay."

"Thank you," I said, feeling Bella nod against my chest.

"You can go in, just don't bother any of the monitors or anything. You can touch his hand that's free and his feet and legs. His head is wrapped up pretty well, but you can also touch his face, if you'd like. If you have any questions at all, please let one of the nursing staff know. The main desk is right down the hall there," she said, pointing behind her to a nurse's station, "and there's always someone inside the room at the desk on the far wall. Any of us can help you."

Bella and I slowly walked into the room. The sterile smell of it stung my nose, but the need I had to be close to E.C. overpowered that. He looked so tiny in the big bed, with so many wires and tubes hooked up to him. Just when I thought Bella couldn't possibly cry anymore, she started to sob, her body going slack against mine. The suddenness of her going limp took me by surprise, and it was all I could do to keep from dropping her. I held her to me, feeling Phil—who had walked in behind us—grab her from behind, and we carried her to a chair, easing her into it. When I tried to stand up, she clung to me tightly, not letting me go. I had to lift her up and sit in the chair, holding her across my lap.

When I looked up, I saw both of our mothers watching us closely, and I could see the look in their eyes. As much as they were both hurting over our son, there was a flicker of happiness, too. I knew it was because they realized this accident was getting Bella and me over our issues. It was making us be open to each other and lean on one another for support, and which is the way it should have been all along.

I kissed the top of her head and let out a deep breath. I knew we were going to be there for a while.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

A few minutes after six that evening a doctor came to speak to us with details on E.C.'s surgery. They assured us that the procedure would be quick, no longer than an hour total. The doctor also mentioned that E.C. would be closely monitored the whole time. His stats had remained virtually the same since he'd been brought in, which was a good thing. If they had decreased at all, or if E.C. had started showing signs of strain, they would have been forced to wait to fix his arm. I took that as a good sign, and I felt even better when I saw my father breathe a small sigh of relief.

They were scheduled to bring E.C. back to his room during the nurses' shift change, which worked out well. It gave the nursing staff plenty of time to get him situated while we were away, and it gave us all a small break so that we could get something to eat and make phone calls. Bella remained close to me the whole time, and the walk down to the cafeteria was no exception. She still hadn't really spoken much, but there wasn't much to say. As we sat at one of the tables eating, my father left for a few minutes, returning with a worried look on his face.

"Um, Bella, I hope you're not upset, but I called your dad to let him know what's going on," he said.

"You called Charlie?" she asked, looking up at him, and then over to her mother.

"I thought it would be good to call him, and I couldn't do it, so I asked Carlisle to," Renee said, an apologetic look on her face.

"What did he say?" Bella asked.

"He's very upset, obviously, but he's going to get a flight out here as soon as he can. He said he'd call me back as soon as he had something planned."

Bella nodded. "Thank you," she said before she continued to play with the salad I'd gotten for her.

"Baby, you have to eat something," I whispered to her, encouraging her to at least take a few bites of her food. Her eyes met mine for a moment before she turned back to her plate and began to eat. I could see from the look she had given me that she really wasn't all there. She needed me, and I was glad that I could be there for her and that she was letting me in.

The rest of the night passed much like the afternoon had. Once E.C. was settled back into his room, we all took turns sitting next to his bed, holding his left hand or his feet. The rest of him was so bandaged up that we couldn't really see or touch anything else. His right arm was wrapped in bandages that were covering a hard splint of some sort. The doctor had explained that they wouldn't put a hard cast on his arm because it would rub against the pins that were sticking out of his skin. The soft cast still protected his wound, but it would be a little more comfortable for him. The dad in me was just happy to have him healing, but the football player part of me was hoping that this wouldn't affect his throwing arm someday.

After a long and restless night, I found myself in the cafeteria again, getting coffee for Bella and myself. My parents, Alice, and Jasper had gone home for the night after we decided that taking shifts would be the best option, so that someone would always be there with E.C. and no one would get too run down. Bella had refused to leave his side, and I wouldn't leave unless she did. Phil and Renee headed home when the morning shift changed, promising to send some clean clothes for Bella. My parents were coming back soon, along with Emmett and Rosalie, and I knew they'd bring whatever Bella and I might need to get through the day. I didn't know how long we could stay at the hospital before we would finally have to leave and get some sleep.

Lunch time came and went, and there was no change in E.C.'s condition. The nurses continued to assure us that no change was fine, and that we didn't need to worry just yet.

I was a little surprised when I saw Jacob standing in the doorway. Though part of me knew that it made sense for him to be there, another part of me wondered how he even knew to come. Bella and I had been together almost every second since E.C.'s accident. The only time we'd separated was when we went to change our clothes and clean up. I wondered if maybe she called him then, but when she looked up and saw him, she didn't seem excited or relieved to see him. I couldn't sit in the room and watch them together, so I decided to go to the cafeteria and find something to eat for lunch. Bella didn't want me to leave, but I assured her that I would be back.

Jake didn't say anything to me as I walked past him, though he glared for a moment before looking back at Bella. My stomach clenched at the thought of leaving him alone with my Bella, but I reminded myself that she loved him. I'd heard her say it with my own ears. I needed to let her be happy and I couldn't bring myself to stand in the way of that.

The cafeteria was quiet, and I figured I must have just missed the lunch rush. I wasn't really hungry, so I got a granola bar from a vending machine and walked around a little bit. I was beginning to get familiar with parts of the hospital, but when I rounded one corner I hadn't been past before, I was surprised to find a small chapel there. Through the open doorway I could see stained glass windows along one side and several pews facing an altar. There were candles burning on a stand near the altar, and a statue of the Virgin Mary stood before them.

Walking into the room, I was grateful that there was no one else there. I sat in a pew for a few minutes, thinking about all the things in my life that I had to be grateful for. Eventually, the urge I felt to pray was overwhelming, and I walked to the front of the room, kneeling on the rail as I closed my eyes. I prayed silently to myself, begging for my son to be alright. Tears began to flow down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them; I didn't even try. My shoulders shook as I laid my head on my hands, giving in to the emotions that had been consuming me over the past day.

"Please," I whispered. "Please don't take him from me. I just found him, please don't take him away." I didn't know if anyone was listening to my prayer and I didn't really feel like I was worthy to ask for anything. I'd done so many bad things, and made so many wrong choices. I didn't know why any God would waste time listening to me.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I didn't do anything right. I've just been so lost and alone, I didn't care about anyone but myself. Please don't punish him for what I did," I pleaded. It was getting more difficult to breath, I was crying so hard. "Please don't hurt Bella anymore because of me. She's so good, she doesn't deserve this. Please, I beg you, let her be happy."

I was quiet for a few minutes, crying into my hands as I thought about the way I acted toward her. I'd let resentment consume me for months and I'd been angry with her for what I thought was a mistake on her part. I thought about my E.C. and his laugh, how happy he always was to see me. I remembered the first time I met him, how he knew exactly who I was after just a few moments together. The fact that Bella had taught him about me was so overwhelming in that moment. I knew then that she really had loved me, and that she really did want what was best for me.

I thought about what I would have done if I'd been in her shoes, and I wondered if I would have been strong enough to make the choices she'd made. If I would have been selfless enough to give up everything I loved so that she could be happy. Having E.C. in my life had already taught me so much about real love, and I knew now that I loved both of them enough to want them to be happy, to have everything they possibly could.

A thought entered my mind, and as silly and unrealistic as it seemed, I couldn't keep from voicing it out loud, just in case.

"Take me. If you need someone, please take me. Leave them alone. They won't miss me, I just ruin everything anyway, so please...if you just need to take someone, take me. I'll go if it means they'll be safe. I just want them to be happy and okay. Please, please take me instead." Sobbing cries poured from me and my entire body shook with them.

As I rocked back and forth a bit, struggling to stay upright, I felt a hand wrap around my arm. The touch startled me and I jerked away, looking quickly to my side to see who it was. Bella was kneeling next to me, her eyes filled with tears as she looked at my face. Her fingers held tightly to my arm, not giving up her hold on me.

"Don't go," she whispered. "Please don't leave me." We stared at each other for what seemed like forever, both of us crying and barely clinging to reality.

Finally, I wrapped my arm around her, drawing her to me. Her arms circled around my waist and I buried my face in her neck, letting out all the sadness I'd been holding back. She comforted me, her hand rubbing gently on my back as she whispered words of love and hope in my ear. She told me that she loved me, and that E.C. loved me. She told me how much she would miss me if I left her, and how she didn't think she could survive losing me again. She told me how much she needed me, and how much E.C. needed me. I savored every word from her mouth, letting it heal my broken heart. I didn't even care if she really meant the things she was saying. I just cared that she was saying them, and that in that moment, they seemed to be real.

"I just think...I feel like I keep hurting you over and over again. If I wasn't here, I couldn't do that to you anymore," I whispered through my tears.

"No, Edward, no. It's my fault. I did this to us and I don't know how to fix it." Her words were so quiet and there was so much sadness in them. I held her, clinging to the lifeline she was offering me. I loved her desperately, but I just didn't know how things could ever work out for us.

"If I could, if he'd let me, I'd take E.C.'s place. I just want you to be happy, Bella. That's all I've ever wanted. I would do it for you..." Bella leaned away from me, her hands sliding up to cup my cheeks. Her brown eyes were filled with tears as she stared at me. It felt like an eternity, and it seemed as though I was looking directly into her soul.

"I know you would, I know. But Edward, if you go, take me with you," she whispered. I didn't know what she meant. Take her with me? Why would she want that? The whole reason I would sacrifice myself was so that she and E.C. could be happy. Was she saying that she couldn't be happy without me? My mind was racing and I continued to look at her.

What if everything I thought I'd seen wasn't real? What if everything I had heard was wrong? What if Bella's words to me now where what she truly meant? I felt her breath as it fanned over my face. She was so close to me, all I would have to do was lean forward a little bit and I would be kissing her. It seemed like maybe she was thinking the same thing. I saw her move toward me a fraction of an inch, and I leaned toward her, too. I could feel her heart beating faster, and see her gaze move over my face, stopping for quite a while when she got to my lips. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her more than I'd ever wanted to kiss anyone. The feelings that were flowing through my body were almost foreign to me, because I hadn't felt them since I was seventeen years old and wanting to kiss Bella for the first time. It was the only other point in my life when I'd felt this way, and just as I decided to do it, I saw a movement in the doorway of the chapel.

"Hey, guys," Emmett said. "Oh! Sorry!" Bella pulled away, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Yeah?" I called out, turning to see him standing in the doorway. His face was awash in an uncomfortable expression and he mouthed 'I'm sorry' to me. I nodded, hoping he'd get on with whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Dad sent me to find you. The doctor took E.C. in for another brain scan. He'll be back in a little while and the doctor wants to talk to you. You just gotta make sure you're around when they bring E.C. back to the room."

I nodded to Emmett. "Thanks, we'll be there."

Bella stood up, reaching for my hand. "Come on," she said, finally meeting my eyes again. A tiny smile flickered across her face for just a moment, and I hoped that we were still okay. She was giving me mixed signals, and more than anything I didn't want to scare her away with my obvious need for her. I took her hand, stood and walked next to her as we left the chapel, and I felt a little better about things, and I hoped that was a sign of what was to come.

As we walked through the hallways back to E.C.'s room, I held tightly to Bella's hand. There was so much comfort and love in her touch that I couldn't let it go yet. I knew once we were back with our families, I would have to be more careful. I didn't want them thinking too much into our closeness, and I didn't want to cause problems for her with Jake. However, while we were alone, walking behind Emmett, I didn't care. I needed her touch.

After getting off the elevator, we started down a long hall. Off to the right was a large waiting room, and as we approached, I could hear someone talking rather loudly, and it didn't take long for me to realize it was Jacob. The closer we got, the easier it was to understand his words. What I heard stopped me cold and almost made me vomit. I could instantly tell that Bella was listening, too, though Emmett was oblivious at first.

"Yeah, I'm at the hospital. Nah, her stupid kid got hit by a car. Bright, huh?" his said. When there was no response, I figured he must have been talking on his phone. "No, I gotta hang out here for a while longer. Man, I've got her so twisted, she doesn't know which way is up. She's all grieving and crying. If I play my cards right, I can totally get a piece before the end of next week. I'll have something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, right? A hot piece of pussy, that's for sure."

Bella's hand squeezed mine hard and I could feel her anger building as the words spewed from Jake's mouth. Her eyes began to fill with rage, and I assumed she felt betrayed by this man. He was supposedly her best friend, and now, hearing him say these vile things about her and our son, must have been tearing her apart inside. I wanted to take her away from it so that she wouldn't have to hear anything else he had to say, but I knew she needed to hear it. If she was ever going to believe that Jake wasn't the good guy he made himself out to be, she needed to hear firsthand what he had to say.

"Oh man, you should have seen me. So, College Boy texted her, wanting to get together and talk, he was spouting off something about a secret or whatever. So I erased the text and then went to meet him myself. It was awesome. I totally convinced him that Bella and I were together and that I was her dirty little secret. He bought it hook, line, and sinker, and then he ran out and totally started hooking up with some whore that looks just like Bella; it was so great."

Jake let out a laugh, obviously entertaining the person he was talking to. His callousness over the pain Bella and I had been through was infuriating, pushing me closer to breaking. "She came crying to me about it, freaked out that he was moving on, but I just sat there and let her cry. Dude, it was so perfect. I could totally see down her shirt, man. I can't wait to get my hands on those tits, they're gonna be amazing."

I was fighting back the rage and the desire to punch Jacob. I was already in the hospital, so really...what better place to put myself in harm's way? At least the emergency room was nearby, so if things didn't go my way, it wouldn't be too long of a trip to get medical attention.

Bella started shaking, and her whole face morphed into a mask that I'd never seen before. She was furious, and I was actually a little scared for Jake at the thought of him being the person she unleashed her anger on.

"The kid's unconscious still. Maybe I can unplug something, get this over with a little faster, you know?" he said with a laugh. "I mean, there are extra beds in that room. No reason I can't have Bella grinding around on my cock right there. Wouldn't that be awesome if College Boy walked in on that? Man, he'd never take the little slut back then."

He paused for a moment and then continued. "You know I don't want her like that. I just wanna bang her a few times, get her thinking she's worth my attention, and then drop her. Why would I want to waste my time with a pitiful little slut like her when I got a cock-sucker like Leah waiting for me at home? Dude, she gives the best blow jobs ever. Man, she blew me right before I left to come over here an hour ago. I probably still got her lipstick on my dick, and I know she's got my stuff all over her shirt. She wears that like a badge of honor. I outta get her a sign or something. World's Best Cock Mongler."

I'd had enough. I could tell Emmett wanted to punch or kick the crap out of Jake, too. As I turned to walk into the waiting room and confront Jake, Bella stepped in front of me and walked straight into the room. She stood with her arms crossed, watching Jacob, who had his back to us. His phone was pressed against his ear, and he was laughing in a relatively good mood, all things considered. Emmett and I stood behind Bella, just waiting for her to say we could beat Jake up, because that's exactly what we wanted to do. I know I did, and by the murderous look on Emmett's face, so did he.

"Okay, I'm gonna take off. Go work up some fake tears or something and see if I can't 'accidentally' bump into some off buttons on a machine. The sooner that little brat is out of the way, the sooner I can have his mama bouncing up and down in my lap, getting me off while I play with those awesome tits of hers." Jake laughed again, then made some provocative grunting sounds before finishing his call. "I'll talk to you soon. See ya."

The sound of a button pushing was heard throughout the room, just before Jake slid his phone back into his pocket. He rolled his shoulders a few times, moving his head from side to side. Obviously he was trying to get back into character for his next performance. Before anyone had a chance to move, Bella's voice broke through the quiet of the room.

"It's nice to know I have such awesome tits. I'll be sure to let the next guy who sees them know you thought so." Jake froze, and his shoulders sagged as the air drained from his body. He stood still for several seconds, not taking another breath. When he slowly turned around, his eyes widened as he saw not just Bella, but also me and Emmett. It was obvious we'd heard everything he said, and instantly he started trying to back track.

"Hey Bells, no you misunderstood me. I wasn't talking about you," he said with a nervous laugh.

"Really? I'm not the one you wanted to have...oh what was it...bouncing up and down in your lap? Was that it?" she asked, taking a step toward him. Jacob looked like he was actually afraid of Bella. His hands shot out in front of his body as he tried to calm her.

"No, sweetie, I didn't mean that. It was a joke. I was just messing around with my friend; you know how it is, with guy talk and all. I didn't really mean it." He smiled at her, but Bella wasn't having it.

"You're gonna get rid of my little brat? Is that your plan? You figure you already managed to run off Edward, so my son is next? Really mature of you, I'm so impressed. But you know what? I gotta give you credit. You totally had me fooled. How long have we been friends? Two, three years? All that time invested just so you could have sex with me. All that effort, and the most you ever got out of it was one little kiss. That's kinda sad, Jake." Bella's voice had an eerie calm to it, and Emmett and I both stood still as she continued to stalk toward Jacob, causing him to slowly back up. "You know the really sad part of that? The whole time you were kissing me, I was thinking about College Boy back there, and how much better he is when it comes to knowing what I like. He's a better kisser than you could ever dream of being."

Little warning flags went up in my head. As much as I liked Bella degrading Jacob, I had a feeling he would most likely lash out at me and bring my promiscuous past into question. I wasn't wrong.

"He should be a better kisser, or have you forgotten how many girls he screwed in college? You told me, remember? What was it, just under a hundred or something? Come on, Bells, you really think he's gonna settle down with you? I mean, how many guys besides him have you even been with? There's no way you're gonna be able to satisfy him, and he's just gonna do what he always does. He's gonna hook up with some random girl and you're gonna get left in the dust. Is that what you want?"

Bella shook her head. "He's not like that anymore, and besides, that whole thing was my fault. If you're gonna go around placing blame for that, you'd better start with me. I'm the one who left first. You know that, Jake. How dare you throw his past in my face! It's none of your business, anyhow." Jake looked like he was about to say something when Bella spoke again. "Oh, and who's Leah? I've never heard you mention her before, which is a shame since she's obviously _so_ good at pleasuring you."

Jake's mouth snapped shut. He had nothing to say, which kind of disappointed me. I was hoping he'd continue digging himself a hole so that Emmett and I could throw him out.

"I hope you two have a good life together, because I don't ever want to see you again. You were my friend, Jake. I let you into my life, into my son's life, and this is how you treat me? Acting like you want to kill my son so that you can screw me? Really?"

Bella wiped at her eyes, though I didn't see any tears, only heard the shaking in her voice. "He loves you, Jake. What am I supposed to tell him when he doesn't get to see you anymore? How dare you! How dare you lie to me and my little boy! How dare you make me think you genuinely cared about us! How dare you waste two years of my life pretending to be my friend!" Bella let out a long sigh, steeling herself before she continued.

"You made me believe that Edward didn't want me, and then you told him that I didn't want him. What gives you the right to screw with my happiness like that? You knew how much I loved him. You knew how much I wanted him back. How could you?"

Bella was crying again, and it was killing me to see her in so much pain. This was something completely different than what I'd witnessed before, Jacob's betrayal was affecting her differently than E.C.'s health and well being.

"I want you to leave, and don't come back. I want you to quit work, don't come in anymore. Don't come to my classes. Don't go to my house. Don't go to E.C.'s preschool. Don't call me or text me. Nothing. You stay away from me and my son. You stay away from my family and from Edward. Because if you so much as talk to one of us ever again, I'll kill you myself. I hate that you did this, Jake. I trusted you. You were my friend, and I trusted you. You need to leave. I'll hate you forever for this."

"Bella, please," he said, stepping toward her with his hands held out in surrender.

"She said leave," Emmett said. He stood directly behind Bella with his arms folded across his chest. The look on his face clearly said he was not to be messed with, but apparently Jake thought better of himself.

"Hey, this is between me and Bella, okay? Just back off," Jake spat at Emmett.

"Oh, I don't think so. See, Bella's like my little sister, and if she has a problem with you, then I have a problem with you. She said leave, and I don't know how much clearer she needs to be, or maybe you don't hear so well. Maybe I should explain it to you a little better." There were times in my life when I was embarrassed to call Emmett my brother. There were times when I was annoyed with him, and times when I was jealous of him. Never in my life had I been more in awe and proud of him than I was in that moment. I crossed my arms in front of me and stepped closer to Bella, standing next to Emmett.

"You need to go, Jake. Don't make us ask you again," I said.

"Well, isn't this rich. Pretty little College Boy is telling me to leave. Didn't I make myself clear before when I told you this is my town? You can't win here, Edward. You let Bella go; you didn't even love her enough to chase her. You lose. I found her, I fixed her, she's mine, so you can just back off." He turned back to Bella, his eyes pleading, though I could see the anger in them. "Baby, Bella, please, let's just talk. I can explain things, we can fix this. You know how much I love you."

Bella took a deep breath and closed her eyes. In a very quiet, low voice, she spoke. Her tone chilled me to the bone. "I said get out and don't ever come back." Jake huffed in anger, his nostrils flaring as he groaned. "Emmett? Maybe you can show Jake the way out," Bella said, standing her ground and opening her eyes, focusing on the floor in front of her.

"You got it." Emmett reached around and grabbed Jacob's arm, pulling him roughly toward the door. I wasn't about to miss this, after the things he'd said about my son and Bella.

"Can you get back to the room on your own? I'm gonna go with Emmett," I said.

She nodded. "Yeah, just hurry back, okay?"

"Okay," I said, leaning down and kissing her forehead. I turned and followed Emmett, who was trailing Jake. We walked to the elevators, the whole time listening to Jacob spout off in anger about what had just happened. I was silently praying that he'd make a move or say something that would justify me hitting him. Even with all the horrible things he'd said, I needed him to start it if something was going to happen. I knew from the look on Emmett's face, he felt the same way.

Jake raged until we were just outside of the hospital, causing several people to look at us as we passed by them. I didn't really intend to follow him all the way to his car since I wanted to get back to Bella and E.C. as soon as I could. As I slowed my steps, I glanced at Emmett, intending to ask how long he was going to follow Jake. Without warning, Jake turned around and took a swing at me, his right fist connecting hard with my mouth. I could feel the blood instantly, and my instincts took over. All the things he'd said that day ran through my head. All the things he'd said outside of Bella's house that one afternoon began to replay in my mind. All the things he'd said in the coffee shop that first day I met him started to chime in, and soon enough my fists were hammering into him over and over again.

This is for Bella, I thought as I punched his jaw. This is for E.C., I thought as I punched his stomach. This is for me, I thought as I punched his side. He was tough and about as hard as I thought he'd be, but I didn't feel any pain, I just punched and punched until we were on the ground and Emmett was pulling me off.

"Stay away from my family!" I shouted at him, watching him roll around in the grass. Emmett had his hand latched onto my shoulder, holding me back so that I couldn't go after him again.

"I thought he'd be tougher to take down, but I guess not. You did good, little bro," Emmett said, trying to calm me down. I could feel my body shaking and my tongue flicked out to run over my lip. I wiped away the blood that was sliding down my chin, then cleaned my hand on my jeans. "We should go before security shows up," Emmett said.

"I mean it! Stay away! If I see you near Bella or E.C. again, I'll save Bella the trouble, and I'll kill you myself!" I screamed just before turning with Emmett and walking back into the building. Several people were standing inside, watching Jake writhe around on the grass, but no one offered to help him.

"He deserves it, trust me. You should have heard the things he was saying about my nephew," Emmett said as we passed by the small crowd, heading to the elevator.

"I need to stop by a bathroom before I go back to E.C.'s room. I have to clean up a little, I don't want Bella see me like this," I said as we quietly rode up to the floor where our family was.

"Good idea. You're gonna have one heck of a swollen lip, bud. You might wanna check into some stitches, it looks kinda bad." Emmett stood in front of me, examining the damage Jake's one punch had done.

"Hey, I'm just glad he only got me once. I could be checking into the ER if he'd been able to land any more of them. Man, that hurt," I grumbled as I felt my jaw, trying to move it back and forth.

"Yeah, you should probably let Dad check your hands, too. They're kinda scuffed up. They feel okay?" Emmett asked.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," I said, not even thinking about what shape my knuckles and fingers might be in. Stretching them, they did feel a little stiff, but there wasn't much pain, so I figured they were fine. Once I found a restroom, I stepped inside, washing my hands before cupping some water and splashing it over my face. My lip was already swelling a little and I wondered how bad it would get. I really hoped that Bella wouldn't be too upset with me. Given the chance, I would have done it all over again. It felt too good to take out my frustration on Jake, especially after all he'd apparently put us through. Bella and I would need to talk, and soon, and finally get everything out.

We quietly walked back to E.C.'s room, and I kept my head down so that my injuries wouldn't be so easily noticed.

"How was it?" Bella asked, before sucking in a quick breath. "What the..." she trailed off, reaching up to tenderly touch my cheek.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"What happened? Did Jake do this?" she asked, in a panic.

I cleared my throat, looking down at my shoes. "Uh, yeah, but he looks a lot worse than I do, so it's okay."

Her eyes widened with concern. "You hit him?"

"Oh man, you should've seen him!" Emmett said. "I had to practically pull Edward off the jerk. He did great."

"Baby, you okay?" she asked me, forcing me to look at her.

I nodded. "I'm okay, I promise. It felt good, punching him like that. Don't be mad, okay?"

Bella smiled at me. "Never."

We sat down to wait for the doctor to bring E.C. back in. When he did we were relieved at his news. The doctor said the scans had shown a marked improvement in E.C.'s brain activity and that he was almost back to what was considered normal for a boy his age. He advised us that they would be keeping E.C. sedated until the next afternoon, and then they'd wean him off the medication and allow him to slowly wake up.

As we settled into our chairs and watched our son, Bella laid her head in my lap and curled up against me. My fingers moved on their own accord, softly running through her long brown locks. I sighed in relief when her eyes closed and she fell into a light sleep. We'd been at the hospital since the day before and neither of us had slept much. I wondered how much longer we'd be able to stay awake.

"Edward, why don't you two head home and get some sleep?" Renee softly whispered to me. "Phil and I are staying here for the night and E.C. won't be awake until tomorrow. I'll be sure to call if anything happens."

I thought about what she'd said. It was late, after ten at night, and my parents had already gone back to my house. They were planning to pick Charlie up from the airport early the next morning and take him to the hospital, so they'd left a little early so they could get some sleep.

Shaking Bella a bit, I woke her up. "Hey, why don't we go home and get some sleep. Your mom will be here and we want to be rested for when E.C. wakes up tomorrow, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Bella softly said.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

Bella kissed E.C. before we left, telling him that we'd be back bright and early the next morning. After hugging Renee and making her promise to call if there was any change at all, we left. I was glad I had driven to the hospital the day before, even though my eyelids were quickly growing heavy. We got into my car and headed toward Bella's house. When we got there it was dark and quiet, and I used Bella's key to let us in.

"Um, I'll call you in the morning before I leave to come get you. Sound okay?" I said. Bella's eyes looked panicked as she turned around to face me.

"You're not staying?" she asked.

"No, but I'll be back in the morning. You want me to stay until you get settled in?"

Bella looked around. "I don't wanna stay here alone. I don't wanna stay if E.C.'s not here." She glanced around nervously, her eyes settling on our son's bedroom door. "Can I stay with you?" she nervously asked. I could tell how upset she was about being there on her own, and I didn't have the heart to leave her.

"All right," I said. "Why don't you grab some clothes and stuff so that you can just get ready at my house in the morning, that'll save us some time."

"Okay," she said.

It was almost eleven o'clock by the time we got to my house. It was quiet, which meant my parents were already asleep. Bella timidly walked around the house following me as I checked to make sure doors were locked and things were turned off for the night.

"You can have my room, I'll sleep on the couch," I told her, walking toward my bedroom. Once I flipped on the light, I noticed that she wasn't behind me. Turning around, I saw her standing in the doorway to E.C.'s bedroom. She stood silently, staring into the room. She walked in and laid down on his bed, pulling his pillow up to her nose before she took a deep breath. I picked up the bag that she'd dropped on the floor and took it to my room, placing it on the dresser for her.

When I went back to E.C.'s room a few moments later, Bella was fast asleep on his bed, and the sight made my heart skip a beat. I could feel the love she had for our son rolling off of her, and it made me cringe over how I'd treated her during the whole custody thing. I'd already promised to not hold her to the agreement anymore, but watching her just reaffirmed my decision. She obviously needed him, and I wasn't going to stand in between them any longer.

I returned to my bedroom, turning down the sheets and getting the bed ready. Once that was done, I went back to E.C.'s room and picked up Bella, carrying her into my room. I laid her on the side where E.C. always slept when he slept with me. She grumbled a bit and I reached down to remove her shoes, and carefully took off her watch and earrings. Opening her bag, I found a pair of shorts and a tank top, and figured they were probably what she would sleep in. Debating over what to do, I finally went back to the bed and gently shook her.

"Bella? Wake up for a minute. You should change your clothes, you'll be more comfortable if you do."

She woke a little, looking at me and blinking a few times. "Edward?" she said.

"I have your clothes. You should get changed."

"I'm tired, Edward. Can you help me, please?" she mumbled.

The idea of helping her change her clothes both appealed to me, and scared me to death. There was no part of her that I hadn't seen before, but she was practically passed out. Would this be interpreted as taking advantage of her? As I pondered over what to do, her hands moved to the button on her jeans, popping it open and sliding the zipper down, then pushing the denim down her hips. I took a deep breath and helped her. Once her jeans were off, I pulled the pair of shorts on, trying my hardest to ignore the pink lacy panties she was wearing. I could see the goosebumps on the skin of her hips, and I wanted nothing more than to run my tongue across them, but I wouldn't let myself.

"Edward?" she softly said, holding her hand up a little. When I took hold of it, she pulled, getting herself into a sitting position. Soon her t-shirt was up and over her head and her fingers were popping the hooks on her bra. I grabbed the tank top as quickly as I could, holding it up in front of her. It was quick, but not quick enough, and I saw her rosy pink nipples as she peeled the bra from her body. The goosebumps on her hips did nothing to me compared to what the split second viewing of her breasts did. I'd dreamed about seeing them again for the past several months, and now they were bare and only inches away from me, and yet I was pulling a tank top over them. Once Bella was dressed again, she laid back down, turning onto her side and curling into a little ball.

I quickly changed for bed and went to get my pillow so that I could settle into the sofa. Bella looked so peaceful and sweet, I couldn't help but lean over and kiss her lightly on her cheek and her forehead.

"Edward?" she softly sighed, her fingers moving up to my shirt. "Stay with me," she said. She pulled me closer to her, and my body readily agreed, falling onto the bed next to her. I pulled the sheet over us as she snuggled into my side, her head lying against my chest. She let out a deep breath and wrapped her arm around my waist. The feel of her next to me was something I'd longed for, and within moments, she was fast asleep. I kissed her on the forehead again, wincing as my lip hurt just a bit, but feeling like the pain was totally worth it.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, before falling into a deep and heavy sleep.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N:** **Let us sing... Ding Dong, the Snake is gone. Which old Snake? The Sneaky Snake! Ding Dong, Jake the Snake is gone! :D I love the Wizard of Oz. :D I also love that old MadTV skit where the guy would always say "Sneaky Snake" in that hilarious accent. :D I like weird things, I know. :D crackupmonkey was REALLY hoping for a good and proper beat down. Hope you liked this. :)**

**Oh, and Cock Mongler is a real term. I found it on Urban Dictionary. It's kinda disgusting when it applies to a girl... :D  
**

**Things are looking up, right? Anybody ready for a big ole' lemon next chapter? Maybe Edward pulling out some of those moves he learned during his ManWhore Days in college? :D Maybe not, we might need to work up to those. :D**

**So, since I want you to go check out the story that my wifey is writing...for me...here's the summary and link. :)**

_**Might Have Been**_** by Mrs. Robward - **_**"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been'" A drabble fic about that. Living, loving, moving on, but always wondering... what might have been. **_**It's angsty. It's written for me, you KNOW it's not gonna be fluffy. :D The way she's writing it is different and kind of poetic. I love it. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7382179/1/Might_Have_Been**

**And since she's doing one for me, I'm doing one for her. I posted the banner on Twitter on Friday afternoon, if you want to see. :) It's a drabble, it's almost complete, and will most likely be around 40 chapters or so. We'll see. I'm kinda thinking 2 chapters a day, and I'll start posting next week. Here's the summary and a little taste of the first chapter...**

"**Age shouldn't matter. When you meet the person that completes all the unfinished parts of you, it shouldn't matter about anything else." The story of a brazen young man, an invisible woman, and an unholy worship.**

_**Hymns waft through the air, a choir singing their praises.**_

_**He sits on the stand, looking out over his congregation. His flock.**_

_**He's a good leader, shepherd. Responsible. True.**_

_**I should be happy with him. Everyone thinks I am, that's what they say. That's what they see.**_

_**I glance down the row next to me, shushing my youngest, making him still and silent. That's when I see her face, the way she's watching something. **_

_**It's you.**_

_**At the front of the room, you stand alongside the other altar boys, so caught up in your duty. The way he is.**_

_**Her face blushes with adoration, longing, love. Or what she thinks is love. I know better. She's only 17, she doesn't know enough yet.**_

_**She catches your eye. **_

_**I catch my breath.**_

_**You caught my heart, and you don't even know it.**_

_**Yet.**_

**It's called **_**Worship**_**. Watch for it Monday. :) Probably Monday morning. Just so you know. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I don't go there a lot, which is horrible of me.  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**I'm judging and making banners for a contest. Check it out and write us something pretty and sexy!**

_**Erotica Challenge**_** - http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/u/3175453/**

**I'll send the next chapter out early. Same rules as before. You know what to do. And teasers in review replies. Cause I like it that way.**

**Love you all! Hope you're glad I saved E.C. and didn't kill him off...like I had originally planned. :D**


	33. Chapter 33 Paperweight:Close Your Eyes

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is strong annoyance at the holiday season. Ugh...can't it just be over already? :D**

**Thanks to my Superbeta, _MaggieMay14_, for stepping in to finish betaing this crazy story. She's gonna crack her whip at me, making sure I get this story done in a timely manner. I think it's just because she wants more of my other story, _What I Really Meant to Say_. She did buy my tushie and some "Firsts" for that story. I guess it's only right. :D My Uberbeta,_ coldplaywhore, _is on to bigger, better, more awesome things. I'm not sure when she finds time to sleep, she's always posting something new, but I love her and will be forever thankful for all the help she gave me on this story. :)**

**Thanks to my prereaders ___Twilight44,____ Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. _I love them. So much. I can't even tell you. :)**

**Thanks to**___** My Constants. My Girlies**_**, ****and My Wifey**___**, Mrs. Robward.. **_**They are lovely…**

**The girls who got this chapter early were – **___**jenninemarie, stormy315, Rebadams7, Babs75, 3c Cullen, MidnightDreamer00, fourbrats, JaspersEmotionalGir**__**l,**_** and**___**twimom0974**__**. **_**Thanks for the lovely feedback, girls! I'm happy you enjoyed this! :) **

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter. Thank you for all the concerned emails and sweet "Please Post Soon!" PM's. Real life gets in the way. Charity things get in the way. Challenges get in the way. Gift Exchanges get in the way. Pleadings from hot wifey's get in the way. :D Plus I'm a slacker and was afraid of what's in this chapter. But it's done now, and the remaining chapters won't take long, especially with **_**MaggieMay14**_** breathing down my neck. :D**

**Thank you all. I'm glad you're still here. ;)**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 33 – Paperweight

_Happy to lay here  
just happy to be here  
I'm happy to know you.  
Play me a song  
your newest one,  
please leave your taste on my tongue.  
Paperweight on my back  
cover me like a blanket._

_Mess up my bed with me,_  
_kick off the covers I'm waiting._  
_And every word you say I think_  
_I should write down,_  
_I don't want to forget come daylight._

_And no need to worry_  
_that's wastin' time._  
_And no need to wonder_  
_what's been on my mind,_  
_it's you_  
_it's you_  
_it's you._

"Paperweight" by Schuyler Fisk and Joshua Radin

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

BPOV

Stretching my neck, I reveled in the softness of the bed sheets I was cocooned in. There was warmth, heat, and as my eyes fluttered open, I blinked back the morning sunlight that was beginning to stream through the window shades. I knew where I was—Edward's house—but I was confused. I'd fallen asleep in E.C.'s bed, but this felt different, something wasn't right. Except that it was, completely and totally right.

Moving my hand, I felt him against me, his arm gently moving over my waist, pulling me closer. I breathed in, softly sighing at the scent of Edward. I hadn't been so close to him in such a long time, and it felt like heaven. I'd wanted him so much, yet let my fears take over. Fear of him rejecting me, of leading me on just so that he could get closer to E.C., had haunted me. What if he wanted to make me pay for never telling him we had a son? What if all the things Jacob had been saying to me were really true?

_Jacob_. My heart hurt as I thought about him. He'd been my friend, my best friend for the past three years. It was crushing for me to hear all the horrible things he said about me and E.C., whether he meant them or not. I felt like a fool, like I'd been blindly led by him, lured in by his kindness and happy spirit. It was all an act, I knew that now. It didn't make the hurt any less, though. He'd used me, and for what? Just so he could have sex with me? Punish me for some unknown reason? I couldn't think of anything I'd ever done that would have justified that. Part of me ached to know, just for my own sanity, why me? Why he'd chosen me to take his sick plan out on. It wasn't fair.

Edward let out a deep breath, his leg moving and locking with mine. The way our bodies fit together was amazing. Like we were meant to be like this, always. I'd never been in this same position with anyone else, so I didn't know for sure. Maybe everyone fit together this way. It didn't feel like that, though. It felt like this was something special. From the content look on Edward's face when I chanced a quick glance at him, he could feel it too.

The comfort. The sense of peace. The total relaxation.

I had no worries as I lay in his arms. No fears, no pain, nothing but happiness, fulfillment, ease.

Except that something in my world was wrong. Something in our world. Our son, he wasn't with us. That was the only way the moment could have gotten any better.

Seeing E.C. in the street, his little body so limp and still, I felt helpless. I was always the one that fixed him, always the one he ran to when he was hurt. It was me that placed his band-aids, me that cleaned his scrapes, me that kissed every boo-boo away. This time I couldn't do it, and it killed me. It nearly broke me, my spirit. He was all I had in the world, all that was truly mine, and I knew I wouldn't last one day without him.

Even through the haze of panic, fear, and fright, Edward kept me centered, focused. His touch calmed me, soothed me. His words assured me. The looks he gave me connected his soul to mine, and for those brief moments, I was okay. I knew that no matter the outcome, I would be alright. I felt like maybe he was saying I had him, too. I hoped that, anyway. I wanted it—him, us—so much that I could feel it in my bones. We had to fix things, we had to work.

I watched him as he slept next to me, his breathing even and steady. His face was so relaxed, open and unguarded. I hadn't seen him that way in so long, not since we were young and back in Forks. I noticed how much younger he looked, how beautiful he was. There were no lines furrowing his brow, no frustration in his eyes, no tension in his jaw. He was perfect, reminding me of E.C. and his innocence. I thought back to when Edward and I first met, remembering how amazing I thought he was. What had happened to change my opinion of him? Why had I been so closed off when all he ever wanted was to be near me? Why did his unfailing love and devotion scare me so much?

There were so many thoughts, concerns, running through my head, I needed a moment alone, to just breathe and get some perspective. Laying in his arms, surrounded by the wonder of him, my wants were only wrapped up in him and us, and being together. I loved him, there was no doubt in my mind, no question. I just needed to put behind me all the worries and concerns that I had been consumed with lately, and let myself love him. I wanted to let him love me, too.

Trying to be brave, I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his jaw. The stubble poked into my lips, flooding my mind with memories of other times I'd felt that same sensation. I loved it and wanted it again and again. The only thing standing between me and having that was my own hesitation. I had to stop feeling the way I was feeling, for once and for all. It had to end.

I twisted around, pulling out of his arms and gently slipping out of the bed. He stirred a bit, his lips puckering as his brow creased a bit and he groaned. His arms seemed to search for something, and I hoped that maybe it was me, that he was wanting me back in his embrace. After a moment he settled back to stillness, letting out a deep sigh as his face pressed into the pillow I'd just been laying on.

Walking into his bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror, taking a few moments to clean up the bit of mascara that was on the skin under my eyes. I smoothed down my hair and then decided I needed to brush my teeth. Realizing I'd forgotten to bring my toothbrush, I looked around the counter, seeing Edward's tooth brush and a small one, which must have belonged to E.C. I debated using his, but thought I'd chance a look in the drawer. Luckily, there was a new one there, and I hoped that Edward wouldn't be upset if I used it.

While I took care of my morning routine as best I could, I realized I wasn't dressed in my clothes from the day before. I knew I'd packed pajamas to sleep in, but I couldn't remember actually changing into them. The only images flashing through my mind were hazy and rather disconnected, but it seemed like Edward had helped me change before bed. While it felt kind of silly, I was a little relieved that at least the underwear I had been wearing wasn't too embarrassing.

Once I was presentable again, I walked back into the bedroom, noticing just how early it was. I heard some commotion in the hallway and remembered that Carlisle and Esme were picking up my father at the airport that morning. Opening the door quietly, I stepped into the hall and hurried to the living room, hoping to catch them before they left. They were standing near the front door, obviously on their way out. Esme caught sight of me and smiled, her eyes shining with something that made me think maybe she was happy to see me there. I knew she and my mother were worried about Edward and I and our relationship, so I hoped maybe this was a good thing.

"Bella, hi. How are you feeling, honey?" she asked.

"Hi, I'm okay. Are you leaving to get my dad?"

"Yeah, his flight lands in about an hour, so we thought we'd get there a little early just in case he's ahead of schedule. Did you sleep well? You look much better."

I smiled at Esme. She'd always been so good to me, and I appreciated the kindness she'd shown me since I'd come back into their lives. I would be forever grateful for the way she had embraced E.C., welcoming him into her family and being so excited to have him there.

"Thank you. I feel better." I nervously stepped closer to them, needing to do the one thing that had been running through my mind for the last two days. "Carlisle, um...I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did for E.C. I'm so grateful to you, I'll never be able to tell you how much that means to me. You saved him, I really feel like you did. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

Carlisle smiled, bowing his head and looking a little shy. "Oh Bella, it's nothing. I'm just glad I could help and that I was able to keep my emotions in check long enough to do what he needed. I'm so sorry you had see him like that. No parent should ever have to witness something that horrible."

Visions of the accident had been playing on a loop in the back of my mind since Saturday afternoon, and I remembered it again, my breath catching in my throat. "I'm just so glad you were there."

He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. I hugged him, a few tears falling from my eyes and instantly soaking into his shirt. I was grateful for him and the many different effects he'd had on my life. There was so much of him in Edward, and I was thankful for that.

Esme stood next to us, smiling happily before she moved toward us, putting one of her arms around me, too. I really felt so blessed to have both of Edward's parents in my life, and even more thankful that they were accepting me so openly and completely. It made things much simpler for me, and I was glad to have one less thing to worry about.

"Okay, well we're going to pick up your dad, and then we'll be at the hospital. You go ahead and stay here, sleep some more. E.C. will be waking up this evening and he'll need you, so get some rest. We'll call if there are any changes before you get there, don't worry," Esme said, running her hand over my head gently, smoothing my hair down. She and Carlisle both pulled away from me, smiling as they did.

"Thank you. I think I'll lie back down and try to sleep some more. Edward's still asleep, anyway. We'll be there later this morning, I think."

"We'll see you then. And don't worry, he's gonna be fine," Carlisle said, smiling as he opened the door for Esme.

Once they were gone, I noticed how quiet the house was. I hadn't spent much time there, just the initial tour when Edward first arrived in Miami, and then the few times I'd been by to pick up E.C. Walking from room to room, I saw all of the little things that belonged to my son. His toys lay alongside Edward's school books. His shoes sat next to Edward's shoes. In the fridge, his juice boxes were neatly lined up next to Edward's energy drinks. This was a home, a home where a family lived, and because of my actions, I'd missed that. I'd been missing out on being a part of that family, and I knew then and there that I didn't want to miss it anymore. I wanted my things alongside all of theirs. I just needed to make sure Edward wanted that, too.

I silently returned to Edward's bedroom, careful not to make any noise that would wake him. He was still lying in the same spot he'd been when I left him, and I pulled back the blanket and slipped into the bed next to him. I lifted his arm and wrapped it around my waist before snuggling back into his embrace. His arms instantly tightened around me, pulling me closer, and I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes.

I wanted him. I wanted everything that he was, and everything that he had with our son. I wanted to be a part of his family, and I just hoped that he would give me the chance. My hand snaked around his waist, settling on his back, where I fisted the fabric of the T-shirt he was wearing. The last thing I remembered was the feel of his lips on the top of my head, his warm breath cascading over me, and easing me back to sleep.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

_Girl I've been waitin' on this long hard day to get over,  
So I can rest my head right here on your shoulder.  
I just wanna lay here and feel you breathe,  
Listen to the rhythm of your heartbeat,  
And see where it leads... _

_We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes,  
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight.  
All I need is only you and me alone tonight,  
I wanna make you close your eyes._

"I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes" by Dierks Bentley

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

EPOV

My room was bright. There was too much light, and as I cursed it under my breath, I vowed to have my mom install curtains over the windows, and soon. Something thick and dark, and maybe with those blackout liners that I'd seen in hotel rooms. I took a deep breath, stretching as I did, and that's when I felt her. Bella was lying next to me, her arm wrapped around my side and her face nuzzled against my chest. Her dark hair was spread out on the pillow behind her, and her feet were tangled together with mine. I pulled her closer, softly kissing her on the top of her head.

Looking at the clock on my dresser, I saw that it was a little after seven in the morning, and knew that we should probably get up so that we could get to the hospital. As I moved, I winced at the pain in my face and hands. While it had felt amazing and totally satisfying to beat up Jacob the day before, my muscles were now screaming at me in protest. I hoped the cut on my lip would heal quickly, and I wondered for a moment just how bad my face had gotten during the night. I was still able to see okay, so I didn't think I was too swollen, I just hoped my cheek wasn't too black and blue.

I slowly got out of bed, leaving a sleeping Bella as I went into the bathroom. I needed to brush my teeth, and as I looked down on the counter, I saw another toothbrush laying there. It must have been Bella's, and I picked it up and placed it into the toothbrush holder where mine and E.C.'s toothbrushes were. It looked perfect, the three different colors all lined up in a row. My heart pounded a little faster as I thought about this being a permanent thing. I hoped it would be.

While I knew I should wake Bella up, I just couldn't do it, and I crawled back into bed with her. Pulling her against me, I rubbed my hand up and down her back as I held her close, breathing in the scent of her. After several minutes, I felt her hand begin to move in a circular pattern on my stomach. It felt amazing, and my breathing stuttered when she moved her leg, placing it over mine. We lay there, wrapped up in each other for quite a while, neither of us willing to end the perfect moment we were experiencing. I knew if there had been any problem during the night with E.C., Renee would have called. Since my phone was laying silently on the nightstand, I figured everything was fine, and Bella and I could take our time getting ready to go.

"Good morning," she whispered, making me smile.

"Mhmmm, good morning."

Her voice was low, soft but scratchy. I liked it.

"How's your face?" she asked.

I tried to smile, flinching from the pinching sensation in my lip. "Oh, it's been better. But it's worth it, no doubt."

I worried about how she would feel over what Jacob had done. I knew he had been her friend, and I assumed she would feel betrayed by him, but would she want to forgive him? Would she be angry with me for being happy that I'd hit him? That was something we'd probably need to talk about, and soon.

Her head moved and I glanced down, finding her eyes staring back at me. There was so much emotion there; they had always been so deep and expressive. When we'd dated in high school, one look in her eyes always told me exactly what I needed to know. It hadn't been that way lately, and I'd found myself missing it. Especially with things so strained between us. My life would have been so much easier if I'd just been able to look at her and instantly know what she was feeling. Now as I looked at her, it felt like something really had changed, because I could see everything as she lay there, staring back at me.

The brown seemed to almost darken as I watched the expression on her face change a bit. Her heartbeat began to race, her chest rising faster as we continued to stare. I lifted one hand, my finger gently pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, then tracing along her cheekbone.

"Edward," she whispered, then nothing. I didn't know what to say, how to answer her, so I didn't. I just stayed still, waiting. She knew what I wanted; now I just needed to wait and see if she wanted the same thing.

Her hand that had been on my stomach moved up my chest, along my neck, and into the hair behind my ear. Her nails scratched my scalp, and it felt incredible. My eyelids slid closed as I enjoyed the sensation, until finally she stopped. I felt pressure, like she was pulling me toward her. Opening my eyes, I saw her move closer to me, and I bent my head as she pulled me in. The air between us was thick and still and her nose touched mine, sending sparks flying throughout my body. This was what I'd been wanting for so long, it was almost hard to believe that maybe she really did feel for me all the things that I felt for her.

The moment her lips touched mine, something clicked inside me. I'd always known that she was the one, that I wouldn't ever be complete without her, but that one action, that one kiss, sealed my fate. She was it for me, and it had never been more clear than it was right then. Our lips moved together, cautious and awkward at first, but as she pressed harder, and I tilted a bit more, we melted into a familiarity that was simple, easy. My hand wrapped around her face, my fingers on her neck as my thumb rubbed her cheek. She sighed softly as I sucked her top lip between mine, pulling on it just a bit.

After a few seconds, I leaned back so that I could see her clearly.

"I love you, I always have," I whispered.

I watched her neck muscles move as she swallowed, taking in my words and declaration. Her eyes misted over a bit and she leaned up onto her elbow as she shifted closer to me.

"I love you, too. And I want you, this. I want us."

She hovered over me a little and we looked at each other, both of us settling into the fact that this was it. We still had things to talk about and work through, but from here on out, we were together. I pulled her down to me, tenderly kissing her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips. She smiled at me, her teeth biting into her bottom lip for just a moment, and then she was on me.

I'd kissed a lot of women in my lifetime. More than I should have, I knew that, but kissing Bella was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I knew I'd never find that kind of comfort, lust, need, and ease with anyone else, and I returned her heated kisses with everything I had in me.

I felt her body pressed against mine, from chest to hip to leg to toe. The way we just fit was something that had always puzzled me. Never, in all the other times I'd been like this with other women, did it feel so right, so complete. Part of me wanted to tell Bella how perfect we were for each other, but I knew I'd have to explain how I had made that assessment, and I really didn't want to bring up my past, yet again.

My lip hurt a little as we continued to kiss, our lips moving forcefully together. As she lay on top of me, one arm around her waist and the other buried in her hair, I opened my mouth and let my tongue tenderly lick her bottom lip. The moan that sounded from her chest assured me I was doing things right, and soon her tongue was pressing against mine. I let mine stroke hers as she opened up to me and I could taste her. Suddenly, I was glad I'd woken up earlier and brushed my teeth, because this was something I would not have wanted to miss out on.

Her hand trailed over my chest and arms, reaching up to my hair and my face every so often. I was lost in her, and as the minutes passed by, my longing only grew stronger and more urgent. I knew we should talk before we let things progress very far physically, but I was too weak to stop. Unless Bella slowed things down, I knew we'd end up going a lot farther then we probably should. When she tenderly moved her mouth to my cheek, then my jaw, and finally my neck, I was certain she didn't plan to stop, either.

I shivered as she nuzzled my neck, her teeth scraping against my skin as she placed hungry, open mouthed kisses on my flesh. The little moans and whimpers that I was making were completely uncontrollable, but I could tell how much they were turning her on. She seemed driven, determined to get what she wanted, and I was just hoping and praying that what she wanted was me. Mainly, sex with me. I was hoping she wanted to have sex with me, because as she kissed me more and touched me more, I grew harder and harder. The feelings that were building in my body weren't ones that I wanted to take care of in the shower—I wanted to experience them with her.

"Edward, please," she sighed, as her hand trailed down my body toward my shorts, stopping once she reached the waistband.

"Please what? You have to tell me what you want. I don't want to hurt you," I said.

She leaned back a little, until our eyes met. She was breathing so hard, her chest moving so fast, that I loosened the hold I had on her just a bit.

"Make love to me, please," she whispered. "I want to be with you, so much."

I watched her for a moment, making sure that's what she really wanted, my fingers ghosting over her cheek and jaw. When I saw nothing but truth in her eyes, I shifted, rolling us until she was flat on her back and I was laying over her.

There were no more words, simply the two of us expressing our feelings in the most basic way we knew how. Kisses, touches, caresses, moans, whimpers...all the truly intimate things I'd missed over the past four years. My world felt right again, and I let go of any negative feelings I'd had during the most recent months, choosing instead to focus on the angel in my arms. I loved her, and I had every intention of showing her just how much.

My fingers twisted in her hair as her hands raked up and down my back. We kissed continuously, never breaking contact for more than a few seconds. My hips pushed against hers, of their own accord. I didn't want to act too quickly with her, but I just couldn't help myself. She felt too good, and I wanted to be as close to her as I could.

I kissed along her neck, down to her collar bone and shoulder, edging the strap of her tank top over a bit. The way she squirmed underneath me, her legs tightening around mine, was so hot. I could tell she was just as excited as I was. My hand that had been on her waist slowly began to creep upward, pushing the hem of her shirt along with it. The skin on her stomach was so soft, it felt like silk. Every so often I could feel her shudder just a bit, shaking at our contact. It only lasted a moment, and then she would grab another part of my body, running her fingers all over me. It felt like heaven.

"Your shirt, take your shirt off," she whispered in a breathy voice. Her hands were clawing at my back, and she'd managed to pull the shirt half way up, so it wasn't hard to get it completely off. I leaned up a bit, pulling my lips away from her shoulder, and reached behind my head, grabbing the fabric that lay between my shoulder blades. Tugging it up, I removed my shirt and tossed it to the floor.

Her eyes widened as she looked at my chest. "Oh crap, I forgot how hot you are."

I smiled at her lustful words, then leaned down and captured her lips with mine. My hand moved back to her waist, where the bottom edge of her shirt was still laying just beneath her breasts. Pushing my fingers under, I felt the swell of the underside of her breast. Her breath seemed to catch for just a moment, and not wanting to give her a chance to back out, I palmed her, letting my thumb rub over her hard, peaked nipple. She sucked in a quick, deep breath, her hands digging into my back as she pulled me closer to her.

"Baby, take this off," I said after a few minutes of groping her. I wanted to see her boobs again like I had the night before. I'd only gotten a quick glance, but it hadn't been enough, and I needed more.

I helped her raise it up her chest. Then I watched as she slid her arms out and pulled it from her head. Her eyes met mine for just a moment, then I looked down at her neck, her chest, her breasts, her stomach.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, letting my hand rub across her belly. She cringed for just a moment, but I bent down and kissed her softly, lightly. "I love this, you know that," I told her, referring to the faded stretch marks that E.C. had given her while she was pregnant.

"Edward," she sighed, her eyes full of love and longing. I couldn't wait anymore. I let my hand trail farther down her stomach, toward the waistband of her shorts. Our eyes stayed connected as my fingers slipped beneath the fabric, pushing farther and farther down until at last, I watched her eyes widen and her mouth fall open. My finger slid into her body, surrounded by wetness and heat, and she arched up against me. She was so wet, so ready—she really did want me as much as I wanted her.

I continued to push my finger in and out of her, soon adding a second, as I leaned down a bit and took her left breast into my mouth, my tongue swirling around the nipple. She moaned and moved with me and I continued to feast on her pebbled flesh. I glanced up at her face once and watched as the muscles in her neck moved while she swallowed; her pulse showing on her quivering skin. Her chest continued to move up and down as she writhed in my hands.

After several minutes, I grabbed the waistband of her shorts and pushed them down toward her knees. She instantly moved her legs, bending them and shifting the shorts and panties even father down until she lay completely bare before me.

I remembered the last time we'd been like this, in Forks at my parent's house. That time we'd been interrupted by E.C. banging on the door. I knew this time there would most likely be no interruptions, and for a moment, I hesitated. This was really it. As much as I wanted it—wanted her—I didn't want her to regret anything we did. I paused once more, looking up at her face, waiting until she looked back at me.

"Baby, I want this. Don't stop, please," she said, her voice soft, but full of determination.

"I can't stop, I hope you know that. I'll never be able to stop with you."

She smiled at my words, then grabbed at the waistband of my shorts, pushing them down my hips. Her arms didn't reach too far, so I had to help her, shifting so that I could let my dick free of the elastic that was threatening to hold it in. Once they were around my ankles, I kicked them away, letting one of my knees fall between Bella's legs, opening her up for me.

As I returned to kissing her chest, sucking on her breasts and trailing my tongue along her soft skin, her fingers moved along my side, to my hip, finally pushing between us and wrapping around my hardness. Her fingers were a little cold, but strong. The way she began to pump me reminded me of when we were in high school, fooling around in the bed of her truck. I'd taught her exactly what I liked, and she never disappointed me. Even now, as I felt her hands on me again, I could tell she remembered. It made my heart race to know that I was the only man she'd ever touched that way, at least from what she'd told me.

I believed her whole heartedly, and I felt guilty for not being able to say the same thing to her. I'd let hundreds of other women touch me, many of them intimately the way Bella was. Some even more intimately than that, but I would never tell her. Not unless she asked it of me, and I prayed, as I sucked on the skin of her neck, that she never, ever would.

We touched each other, tenderly but with force, want...desire. When I moved to lay between her legs, she lifted them, her knees even with my hips. The tip of my penis brushed against her lips each time I thrust forward a little. She let out the softest whimper every time, melting my heart and making me crazy with lust for her.

"Condom, baby. I need to grab a condom," I mumbled, lifting off her and reaching for the nightstand on my side of the bed. I didn't dare keep any of them in the one on E.C.'s side, for fear he'd find them and think they were balloons or toys. Even worse, if he found them and showed them to Bella or at preschool. I didn't need all the headache that would cause.

Once I had one in my hand, I pushed up off of Bella, leaning back and sitting on my heels. I ripped open the package, tossing it to the ground where my clothes had landed, and rolling the barrier onto myself. Bella lay on the bed, her hair wild around her head, her eyes glued to what my hands were doing. Her breasts moved up and down, rapidly as she breathed, and her teeth bit hard into her lower lip. I knew I was driving her crazy, and I loved it.

"You ready?" I asked, moving to hover over her again.

"Please," she said, pulling me down on top of her and kissing me hard.

My dick naturally went straight to her center, and the head began to slide back and forth in the moisture that covered her there. I got more and more slick, until finally, one thrust was angled a little differently. I felt myself slip inside of her just a bit, pausing to see that she was okay with it. Her hips raised up off the bed, and mine pushed forward. Before I knew it, I was buried in her, and I froze. We both lay looking at each other, and I couldn't help the tears that started to build in my eyes. I didn't want to look like a weak sissy or anything to her, but I felt a small amount of comfort when I saw the same emotion reflected in her eyes, too.

She lifted her hands to my face, letting her thumbs tenderly trace over my eyelids, wiping the wetness away. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here, I'm never leaving again, I promise," she said, over and over again.

I felt my breath hitch, and I lay my forehead on her chest, trying to get control of my emotions. "I'm sorry," I whispered against her skin.

After a few seconds of quiet, Bella tightened her hold on my face, lifting and making me look at her. "Edward, is this not what you want?" Her brow was wrinkled with worry, and I watched her bottom lip begin to quiver.

She thought I didn't want this; that I thought I'd made a mistake. I needed to fix things before she got any more worried.

"Baby, no, this is so perfect. I just...I never thought I'd get to be with you like this again. And now I'm here, kissing you and touching you, I'm inside of you, and my life just feels so right, complete. I never thought I'd get this again. I thought I'd blown it too much, that you'd never come back to me."

Tears slid down her face into her hair. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. If I could do it all again, I never would have left. I would have found a way for us to be together, and I never would have given up. Not ever. I love you, so much. I'm never gonna stop," she said as her voice shook with emotion

My thumb traced across her bottom lip, remembering how I used to do that to her so long ago. Then I kissed her, long and slow and deep. It was perfect.

As we kissed, I began to move, rocking into her and making her moan. It felt so good to slide in and out of her body, and it wasn't long until I found myself pumping faster and deeper. We continued to kiss, not willing to lose the connection we had. Her hands were in my hair, holding me to her. My left hand slid under her, wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her down each time I thrust up. My other hand was wrapped around her neck and face, holding her to me so that I could kiss her and feel her.

It was perfect. The most perfect my life had been in well over four years. We moved together, like we were always meant to act as one unit. Soon enough, her breathing picked up a bit more, and I slid my hand down her body, squeezing her breast as I did. My fingers played with her nipple for a moment before continuing down her body, finally reaching the place where we were joined. My thumb moved between us, finding her most sensitive spot and rubbing little circles over it. She moaned and squirmed for me, letting me know that she liked what I was doing.

"You like that, baby?" I asked, pumping harder. I could feel my orgasm quickly building in my stomach. I was close, I knew that much. From what I remembered of her, Bella wasn't far off, and I doubled my efforts to make her happy. I wanted us both to finish and find a sense of rightness between us, but I wanted her to come first. I had to make her happy—I knew I couldn't be unless she was.

"Oh, Edward," she called out, her breath fanning over my face as I watched her eyes widen, then roll back in her head as her eyelids slid closed and I felt her inner walls tighten down on me. The sensation was enough to push me over the edge, and I thrust into her several times, the last few being hard and forceful. I only hoped I hadn't hurt her.

We lay there in the quiet, each of us breathing heavy and trying to catch our breath. Soft, light touches continued all over each other's skin, and finally I pulled back to look at her.

"I love you, Bella. I want you to know that, no matter what. I've always loved you, even when I was acting like a jealous idiot. I just wanted you back so much, I didn't know how to act. I'm so sorry, I hope you can forgive me someday, because I want this to work with us. You and me." I laughed, "Well, you, me, and E.C. I want us to be a team—a family, but you and me...I want to be us again."

Her brown eyes sparkled in the morning light as she looked up at me. I could tell she was thinking, trying to figure out what to say to me. I knew she wanted the same thing I did, I wasn't worried about that. But I knew she wanted to say it just right, too.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she let out a deep breath. "I don't know what to say to that, other than you took the words right out of my mouth. I want all of that, too. You and me, always."

I smiled, letting my fingers push some of her hair back away from her face and tuck it behind her ear.

"I think we should talk, before we go back to the hospital. I think we should take this time to get everything out in the open, clear the air between us. We have to be open and honest, and I want to do that now, please. I don't want to wait anymore. When we see our son today, I want us to be an us again, officially. I don't want to just be E.C.'s dad, and you be his mom. I want us to be his parents, a couple, together."

She nodded. "Me too. I want that, too."

As much as it pained me to let her go, I knew the conversation would probably be best conducted if we were both dressed. I knew, for me at least, if she was still naked, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from having her again. That was one of our problems; we'd always been so physical and didn't use our time to communicate as much as we should have. I hoped to fix that from now on.

"Why don't you go get dressed. We can shower later, but just get dressed for now so we can talk. Then we'll get ready to go to the hospital, alright?"

She smiled. "Okay."

I kissed her once more, slow and lovingly, then shifted, pulling out of her. I needed to get the condom off and into the trash, so I moved away from her and off the bed. Grabbing my clothes on the floor, I headed for the door and the hall bathroom. I turned around to catch one more look at her, laying in my bed, her skin bare and with memories of me all over it.

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

I smiled, feeling like I could fly.

"I love you, Bella Swan. Forever, love. Forever."

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: Lemons are fun, right? You ready for some talking next time? Maybe a little secret reveal, too? I think that can be arranged.**

**So, what was I doing while I was away? A few little stories, that's what. You can find them all on my profile, as well as the banners that go with them.**

**_Worship_ – a drabble-ish-type-like-esque story about an older Bella, a younger Edward, and some hot lemons. :)**

**_She Isn't Real_ – a short story I did for a story exchange about a popular Bella, an unpopular Edward, and a long time crush.**

**_Twilight 25 Prompts_ – 25 drabbles that I did as a challenge. None of them are connected, and I may eventually continue a few of them someday. **

**_I Heard the Bells_ – a Christmas o/s I wrote for the Southern Fan Fiction Review. It's got a crazy Christmas party, a sexy game, and a jingle bell bracelet.**

**Check them out, they're fun. :D**

**Now to rec's... So many stories I've read over the past couple of months. Let's see...**

**_Friday Night Lights_ by twinerdforlife It combines two of my favorite things – _Twilight _and_ Friday Night Lights.  
_"The lights shine brightly on the green turf every Friday night, casting a glow on the heroes of our small town. Most will never leave, but Edward and Bella are dying to get out. Football is his ticket, but will he take it when it's time to say goodbye?" It's good, trust me!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7602563/1/Friday_Night_Lights**

**_Sacrifice_ by Twilight44. She's one of my prereaders. This is all written, and I've read it. Holy crap, I loved it! **

"**Young lovers Edward and Bella run away. Desperate choices and sacrifices will be made to keep them safe and to support themselves while on the lamb? How far will Edward go and what will the consequences be? Touching story of sacrifice in the name of love." **

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7616673/1/Sacrifice**

**And a complete one that I loved...**

**_Self Storag_e by kitkat681. Ohhhhhh...I loved this one. It's SO good! And _kitkat681_ is one of my favorite girls. It's wonderful!**

"**Edward hates his job. Bella hates her life. What the hell is going on in that storage unit?"**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7368121/1/Self_Storage **

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And Facebook, which I tried to avoid.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I haven't been there since I got a virus on my laptop from the site. I'm scared now. :D  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**I'll send the next chapter out early. Same rules as before – one person per 10 reviews, unless it goes higher than last chapter's reviews, then 2 per 10. You know what to do. And teasers in review replies. 'Cause I like it that way. Though it might take me a few days to reply to you since I don't have a teaser ready yet. :D One of these days I'll be on the ball...prepared ahead of time. :D**

**Love you all! Hope you enjoyed this!**

**Merry Christmas! Happy New Years! All that good stuff! :D**


	34. Chapter 34 It Is You I Have Loved

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an electric bill that I have to figure out a way to pay this week... Guess I gotta get creative, or be happy living in the dark. :D**

**Thanks to my Superbeta, **_**MaggieMay14**_**, for taking on this craziness. I love the things she thinks about this story. It's fun. :D **

**Thanks to my prereaders **___**Twilight44,**____**Unchanged Affections, & burntcore.**_**I love them. So much. I can't even tell you. :)**

**Thanks to**___** My Constants. My Girlies**__**, **_**My****Uberbeta****,**___** coldplaywhore**_**, ****and My Wifey****,**___** Mrs. Robward.. **_**They are lovely…**

**The girls who got this chapter early were**_** – **____**BoysInBooksAreAlotBetter, bunch2009, scary1016, AngelicAmanda, implsz642, FFpassion, & writtenbyabdex**__**. **_**Thanks for the lovely feedback, girls! I'm happy you enjoyed this! :) **___**xbbygirl**__**, **_**I sent you a PM. Get me your email, I'll send you next chapter early. :) And **___**sujari6**__**...**_**I forgot to send you the chapter early! Ugh, I suck! I'll send you next chapter early, I promise! :D**

**Here you go, the talk. And the secret. And some smut. Didn't see that coming... :D**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 34 – It Is You I Have Loved

_There were times I ran to hide  
Afraid to show the other side  
Alone in the night without you_

_But now I know just who you are  
And I know you hold my heart  
Finally this is where I belong  
It is you I have loved all along_

_It's no more mystery  
It is finally clear to me  
You're the home my heart searched for so long  
And it is you I have loved all along_

_Over and over  
I'm filled with emotion  
Your love, it rushes through my veins  
And I am filled  
With the sweetest devotion  
As I look into your perfect face_

_It's no more mystery  
It is finally clear to me  
You're the home my heart searched for so long  
And it is you I have loved  
It is you I have loved  
It is you I have loved all along_

"It Is You I Have Loved" by Dana Glover

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

After I was dressed, I peeked back into the bedroom. Bella wasn't out of the bathroom yet, so I decided to check the kitchen and find something for breakfast for us. Luckily, I'd stocked up on groceries, knowing that my parents would be in town and that my mom would yell at me if she only saw peanut butter and jelly, and macaroni and cheese in the cupboard. I was working on my cooking skills, but so far hadn't progressed much from sandwiches, boxed dinners, and frozen foods. E.C. seemed to love all of those things, so I wasn't too worried.

I found some bagels and cream cheese, pulled a round platter from a cabinet, and carried those, along with some juice and glasses, back to my bedroom. Bella was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the bed, like she wasn't sure if she should get back on it, or come find me.

"I didn't know..." she said.

I smiled. "Are you hungry? I have bagels, if you like. I thought we could just eat in here, if that's okay."

"Okay," she mumbled, moving to climb back onto my bed.

We got settled with the food, each of us taking a few bites as we sat in silence. I wasn't sure where to start, or even what to say. There were so many things I wanted to ask her, that I needed to know, but none of them were coming to mind. I decided to start off with the most obvious question, or at least the only one I could think of. I hoped that once we got things going, I'd remember what else I needed to ask.

"Why did you push me away?" I questioned, looking at Bella's face as she sat silently across from me.

"I was scared, I told you that." She was quiet for a moment, and I knew she was thinking. "I have this self esteem issue... I was never good enough for anyone before you came along. I don't know why, but boys never liked me, not in that way. My friends were always just groups of girls, not really any one or two specific girls, just groups of them. I was quiet and shy, and I think that scared people off, maybe. When I met you, I saw myself as that girl, the one no one really wanted, and I didn't honestly believe that you could want me."

Listening to her words, I understood what she was saying, especially after having just heard Angela say very similar things. No matter what I said to Bella, or how I treated her, she'd always seemed to think I wasn't being truthful. I would tell her she was beautiful, and she would say she wasn't as pretty as some other girl. I would tell her she was funny, and she would laugh it off, telling me I was just being nice to her. I would tell her I loved her, and she would always say it back, but the look in her eyes told me she didn't believe me. I needed to find some way to convince her that my feelings were true—that she was who I wanted, and needed.

"Bella, I don't know how to make you believe me. I never lied to you, not about any of those things. You are beautiful. And to me? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Yeah, lots of other women are pretty, but they pale in comparison to you. I need you to believe me, to trust me. I'm not just saying this. I really mean it."

She nodded. "I know you do, it's just hard to let it sink into my head sometimes. I mean, if someone tells you something enough times, you believe it. And then when someone else comes along and tells you the exact opposite, you just can't see how it could possibly be true. It's not that I don't want to believe you...it's just that I can't. I'm trying, I promise I am. Just don't give up on me, okay? I need your help. Maybe you could just help me beat it into my brain sometimes, you know?"

Her eyes were watery with tears as she looked up at me.

"Bella, I'll never give up on you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"So, do you know why Jacob did what he did?" I asked next. It was something that had been on my mind ever since we'd overheard him on his cell phone.

"I don't know. I've been racking my brain, trying to figure it out, and I just don't get it. He was angry, but I don't know why. I was so stupid to believe him, Edward. I feel like such a fool."

"Don't," I said, reaching down and taking her hand. "He was your friend, you needed a friend. I'm just sorry it turned out this way. You and E.C. deserve better."

Bella let out a long, deep breath. "Yeah, we do. I wish it was different."

"I do, too."

We sat in silence, each of us picking at our bagels.

"Did you really like Angela?" she asked.

I wasn't really expecting her question, and with her looking down at her food, I couldn't see her eyes to judge her mood.

"Yeah, I did. She's really a good girl. Actually, you'd probably like her," I said with a little laugh.

"I doubt that," she muttered softly.

"She's my friend, and I feel bad that I used her. She and I talked about it, and she said she used me, too. She said she knew I was safe, that she could tell I was in love with someone else, so she wouldn't get her heart broken with me."

Bella looked up at me. "Why would she use you?"

"Her last boyfriend ended up being gay, only she never knew until she walked in on him and some guy. He totally screwed her over and made her think it was all because of her, like she'd been so horrible that she'd turned him off of women forever. She was pretty messed up, and she just wanted to see if she could have feelings for someone else after all that."

"Oh." Bella was quiet for a moment, before tightening her hand around mine. "Did you have sex with her?"

My mind raced at the question. Of course Bella would think that, after my past four years. I wanted to put her worries to rest as quickly and completely as possible.

"No, I didn't. I kissed her once, and that was all. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't like when I kiss you."

Her shoulders seemed to slump a little bit at my revelation. "Oh."

I reached out, wrapping my fingers around her face and lifting it so that I could look into her eyes. "One time, Bella. Last week, and I broke things off the next day. I swear, that was all. You can ask her."

She sighed, then nodded. "Okay, I believe you."

"I was so hurt, after I saw you with Jake at your work. I felt like my heart had been annihilated, you know? I was just so angry and sad, I wanted the pain to go away. I thought if I let you go, if I had someone else, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. It was my same stupid thinking that led me to do all the crap I did in college. It didn't get me anywhere then, and it didn't get anywhere now. Only thing is, I'm smarter, and this time I realized all I was doing was hurting people. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, Bella."

She watched me closely, her eyes scanning my face as I spoke. I knew she was looking for truth in my words, and I really hoped she found it, because I was bearing my soul to this girl, and it would have killed me if she didn't believe what I was saying.

"I understand, I really do. I'm sorry for what you saw, between me and Jake. It was a mistake—a huge, horrible mistake."

"I saw you crying in the kitchen that morning. When you were sick, when I picked up E.C."

Her eyes widened as she looked at me, taking in what I'd said.

"He forgot his lunchbox, and I went back in to get it. I heard you, and when I saw you at the table, the way you were crying..." I sighed, remembering that morning. "I couldn't do that to you anymore. I knew it was my fault, that you were crying that way because of me and what I'd done. I felt like it would be better for both of us if I tried to just let go. I didn't want to, but I couldn't stand the thought of you crying like that ever again. Not because of me."

She sniffled a bit, letting her eyes close. I sat still, waiting for her to say something.

"After seeing you with Angela, I thought you were with her, you know? And I thought you'd been _with_ her while our son was there, that one morning when I picked him up, and it made me so mad, and jealous." She let out a deep breath, and I could tell she was remembering things the way she thought they'd happened, and maybe now realizing that they weren't what she thought.

"I know how it probably looked, but that's not what it was. I swear to you."

"I know, but still, I was so hurt, and Jake saw that—he used it. He took advantage of my mood that day at work. I wasn't strong enough to stop him, not like I usually was. And for just a minute, I thought how easy it would be to love someone else. How it wouldn't be this constant battle if I could find someone different who wanted me. I just needed to know what it was like—feeling something for someone else."

I swallowed back my anger, my sadness, and tried to keep my voice steady and even. It was a fight I didn't win. "And?" I prompted, my voice crackling with emotion.

"It was wrong. He was wrong. I tried to see him, when he first kissed me, and for a moment it worked. But then, as he kept kissing me, all I saw was you. I wanted you, Edward. I missed you, the way you used to hold me. The way you always suck on my lip just a little bit when you kiss me. I wanted him to do that. I wanted it so much, and he didn't. That's when I knew it was never gonna work. He wasn't who I needed, or wanted. I only saw you in my mind,"

She sniffled, reaching up to wipe the tears away from her cheeks.

"I know how you feel," I whispered. "I was the same way."

I was, and I knew it now. Everything Bella had felt when kissing Jacob, I had felt when kissing Angela. While it was nice and safe, it wasn't right. No matter what we tried or did, it would never be right. Not as long as we were apart. Right only happened when we were together, and we both knew that now.

"Was Angela mad?" she asked softly.

"No, she was on the same page as I was. I still feel really bad about it, but she's a good person, and a good friend. I think I knew she was safe. She was different from the other girls I went for before, you know? With them, I always wanted someone who was nothing like you; because I knew it wouldn't last. With her, I think the whole reason I tried was _because_ she _was _so much like you. I thought maybe if I could just find someone similar to you, I'd be okay." I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was wrong. There's only one Bella. Only one girl for me."

She smiled, leaning her face into my hand just a little. "Me too. There's only one you, Edward. And you're the one for me."

Before we left the topic, I just had to know.

"Was that the only time you ever kissed Jacob?" I asked, hoping with everything in me that it was.

She smiled a bit. "Yeah, the one and only time. I hugged him, and he held my hand sometimes, but I never let him kiss me, or touch me. I never wanted that with him. I think I was waiting for you."

Her words reassured me, and I let out a sigh of relief. I still couldn't believe she'd waited so long for me, but I was glad she had.

"Bella, were you ever going to tell me about E.C.? Were you ever planning to find me and tell me why you left?"

It was something I wasn't completely clear on, even though we'd talked about it a little. I needed to know that my seeing her again, and finding out about our son, wasn't just an accident.

"Yes, I was going to find you. I was actually planning to go to Forks next summer, so I could tell you. I wanted to make sure you were done with school, and that you'd be around. Then Alice's wedding came up, and...it just worked out the way it did."

I nodded, assuring her that I understood what she was telling me. She had said before that she never meant to hide E.C. from me forever, so it was nice to know she had a plan of some type worked out.

Her mention of Forks made me think of something else. Something that I desperately needed to know.

"Bella, when you were in Forks this summer, I overheard you talking to Sue one night. I didn't mean to, but I did, and I need to know something."

"Okay," she said.

"Sue said that you needed to tell me something, some secret, and that it wasn't fair for you to keep it from me. What was she talking about?"

Bella's eyes widened for just a moment, then she looked down at her lap, breaking our connection.

"Baby please, what is it? You can tell me. I need you to tell me," I pleaded softly.

"It's nothing, really. It's just...I didn't mean for it to be any big thing, I promise. And honestly, I hoped that it wouldn't even matter, that you'd never even need to know." Her eyes met mine again. "I kept hearing you talk about my secret, and before I knew what had happened, it was this huge issue, and it's not. I promise. I just kept hoping that it would be nothing, and now it's just..."

"Bella, what is it?"

She let out a deep breath. "Edward, I have to move."

I watched her face for a moment, waiting for her to say something more, but she didn't.

"Move? What?"

"I'm moving, next summer. E.C. and I are moving away from here."

"Bella, what are you talking about? Why are you moving?"

"Well-"

As her words began to register in my head, panic started to take over. I'd just found them. and gotten Bella back in my life. I couldn't lose them, her...not again. "Where are you going to? You can't just up and leave Miami, and me. I mean, how am I supposed to see E.C. if you're not here? It's not like I can pack up and follow you. I'm in med school. I can't just go do that anywhere, Bella."

I wondered what she was talking about, and why this was the first time I'd heard anything about her taking my son from me in less than a year's time.

"We're moving to Forks," she said quietly.

"Forks?"

"Yeah. Phil's coaching contract is up at the end of the school year, and his friend got him a job coaching baseball at a community college in Nebraska. My mom and Phil are moving in June. I can't afford to stay here by myself. I can't afford the bills, so they're selling their house and moving." She looked down at her hands that lay in her lap. "Sue lined up a teaching job for me in La Push next year, since I'll be graduating in May. E.C. and I are moving to Forks to stay with my dad. I thought it would be perfect, that you'd be in Seattle for school, and with your parents there... I thought it would be a good thing, better than going to Nebraska. And then you came here."

My mind was swirling, wondering what I was going to do. I had to keep them in Miami, somehow. I knew I couldn't be across the country from either of them, not now.

"I was gonna tell you about E.C. next summer when we moved there. That was my plan, anyway," she said softly, keeping her eyes on her hands, away from mine.

"You were gonna tell me then..." I said, letting the idea run through my head. She really had planned to let me know, to let me see and meet our son. It made sense, all the things she'd said to me since I'd first seen her in August.

"I'm sorry."

"Bella, what did you mean that you hoped it wouldn't matter? You moving? How could that not matter to me?" I asked, needing to know how she could have possibly thought that being away from me wouldn't matter.

"Well, I just...I hoped that maybe by next summer, we'd have somewhere else to live. Somewhere here in Miami."

"Somewhere else?"

She lifted her head and her eyes met mine. Instantly I knew what she was thinking.

"With me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, with you. I hoped that maybe you'd want us, and we'd be together as a family, and we wouldn't have to leave. But then these past couple of months made me think there was no way it could happen. I didn't see how we could possibly work things out, but I still hoped we would."

I sighed with relief, before smiling at her. "So, what you're saying is that I have about seven months to persuade you to stay here with me? Is that it?"

She smiled back at me. "Yeah, pretty much."

"I think I can work with that."

I leaned over and kissed her softly on her lips, letting the kiss linger for a few moments.

"I want us to try this again. This you and me thing. I want to be with you, only you. What do you think?" I asked.

"Yeah, me too. I want that." Her fingers trailed along my jaw bone. "Edward, I think we should go slow. There's a lot we need to work through, you know? We need to get to know each other again, and I don't want to mess this up, especially because of E.C. I want this to last for always."

"Okay, we can go slow. I can do slow."

I kissed her again, enjoying the feel of her lips against mine as her fingers pushed into my hair. After a few minutes, as things began to get a little more heated, I pulled away. My breathing was picking up, and I knew that we needed to get dressed and to the hospital. If we kept up the kissing, I had a feeling we wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

"We need to get dressed and go," I whispered.

"I need a shower."

I watched her eyes for a moment, seeing desire burning in them just like it was most likely burning in mine.

"So, you need a shower...and I need a shower. Maybe this going slow thing could start once we leave for the hospital, you know? 'Cause I hear make-up sex is amazing."

She giggled. "Make-up sex? Did we have a fight we're making up from?"

I nodded. "Oh yeah, the past few months."

"Well then, didn't we kind of already do that? I mean, this morning?"

Smiling, I reached up and twisted a curl of her long brown hair in my fingers. "Oh no, that doesn't count. That was way too sweet and loving. Make up sex is supposed to be frantic and needy. I don't think we were anywhere near frantic and needy enough, do you?"

Bella's smile widened. "Nope, I think we need some frantic neediness."

I stepped down off the bed, grabbing the tray of food and placing it on the dresser. "Come on," I said, reaching for her hand and pulling her to me. She cleared her throat as we walked into the bathroom.

"I hope you know what you're doing in here, I don't want to slip and fall," she said with a grin.

I reached into the shower stall and turned on the water, before meeting her eyes. "Actually, I don't."

"What?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"This is one place I've never had sex before."

"Wait, are you serious? Like, never?"

"Well," I said, "I never let anyone stay until the morning after, and I never stayed."

"Really?" she said, pushing her shorts down her legs as her eyes kept contact with mine.

"No, this just feels different, you know? Like, there's nothing between us in here. There's nowhere to hide, everything is bared and open." I pulled off my shirt at the same time that she did. My eyes never lowered from hers, which was really hard because her breasts were one of my favorite things ever, and the fact that they were on display in front of me... I could hardly stand it.

"I know what you mean. It feels more intimate, or something."

I watched as she pushed her panties down her hips, letting them fall to the floor before she stepped out of them. She reached out and took hold of my shorts waistband, tugging gently on them.

"Shower with me?" she asked.

"Absolutely," I said, following her as she stepped into the walk in shower.

I'd been telling her the truth when I said I'd never had sex in a shower before. I hadn't. There was something so personal and sacred, almost, about being with someone in that way. I'd never wanted to shower with any other woman. Not once had I ever been even the slightest bit tempted, but with Bella it was different.

I wanted to feel her skin all wet and slippery. I wanted to wash her hair, and let her wash mine. I wanted to make her laugh as I accidentally tickled her with a washcloth. I wanted that closeness and that level of intimacy that I'd never had with anyone else. And I only wanted it with her.

I poured some shampoo into my hands as she leaned back, wetting her hair. Her breasts were pushing out slightly, the water raining down over them. I could feel myself hardening quickly, and I hoped I'd be able to at least make it through the actual shower portion of things before I gave in and had to have her.

Bella let me massage the shampoo into her hair, and the little moans she made didn't help my aching cock.

"My turn," she said, grabbing the shampoo and pushing me under the shower nozzle. "You have to kneel down," she said. "I can't reach your head, I'll just end up getting shampoo in your eyes."

I knelt in front of her, my eyes focusing on her breasts, heavy and wet, and right in front of my face. As she worked the shampoo in, I leaned forward and kissed her stomach, making her laugh.

"Edward, stop," she said, rinsing off her hands before she grabbed the body wash and a washcloth. "Stand up."

I stood up, continuing to kiss her body as I did. I made sure to gently suck each of her nipples on my way to her neck, and the groans she made were well worth the effort. After rinsing my hair out, I opened my eyes to see her standing before me, scrubbing my chest. Soon she moved behind me, washing my back, her hands roaming over my skin.

"That feels good, baby," I said just before she reached around me and began to stroke my cock.

"Hmmm, what's this?" she quietly asked. I looked down to see her fingers wrapped around my length, but I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. We'd never done this before, and it had been a long time since Bella had initiated anything physical between us. Cautiously, I reached down and placed my hand on top of hers, helping her slide up and down.

"Like that, just do that," I muttered, my eyes closing as I let myself enjoy the feel of her hold on me. I felt her lips on my back, placing sweet, loving kisses on the skin between my shoulder blades. The washcloth in her other hand was soon dropped to the floor, and I felt her fingers tighten on my hip.

"Edward," she sighed, her breasts pressing against me as she pulled her body closer to mine.

Her lips soon reached my shoulder, then my neck, and I could feel her rise up onto her tip toes so that she could more easily reach me. I stepped away, turning in her arms, and pushing her back against the shower wall. Her hand continued to stroke me, and the other slid from my hip, trailing along my arm until it finally landed at the nape of my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair.

My cock was sandwiched between us, her hand quickly sliding up and down, and I reached down. My hand smoothing along her thigh, until I grasped it and pulled her leg up, hitching it around my hip.

"Let me touch you," I spoke into the flesh of her neck. The soft moan she made answered my question, and my fingers delved downward toward her center, not stopping until I felt her soft, slick folds along my fingertips.

Her hand pulled me back to her, our mouths fusing together as I kissed her deeply, lovingly. My fingers danced along the edge of her skin before gently pushing into her, making her gasp as her leg gave out just a bit. I was glad I had her pinned against the wall, and I kept her upright and next to me.

She let go of my cock, lifting her arm and wrapping it around my neck, pulling me harder toward her as we continued to kiss. My fingers slid in and out of her, feeling the bumpy texture of the tight walls inside of her.

"Please," she breathed into my mouth, and I quickly reached down and grabbed her other thigh, pulling it up so that her legs were wrapped around my hips.

"Hang on," I said, looking down as my hands slid under her bottom, lifting her a little and letting my cock fall from between our stomachs. Her arms tightened around my neck as she held herself against me. With one hand under her, my other hand took hold of my dick, lining it up with her folds. Suddenly a thought entered my head. "I don't have a condom in here."

Her teeth bit down on her lower lip, as her eyes met mine. "Um, well...what if you pull out before _that_ happens? Would that work?" she asked nervously.

"I guess, maybe." I didn't like being so irresponsible with her, and to be honest, it was the first time since we'd been together in high school that I hadn't worn a condom during sex. Even then, it was only a few times. Every other time, every other girl, I'd worn one. No exceptions, but with Bella...I actually didn't want to.

"You're not on the pill or anything?" I asked, hoping that maybe she was, but knowing there probably wasn't any reason for her to be.

"No, but I'll get on it soon, okay?"

"Okay. Um, you're not worried about anything, are you?"

She looked me in the eyes for a moment, letting out a stuttered breath. "Like what?"

"I'm clean, I promise. I would never hurt you like that."

Her hand stroked across my cheek and she leaned in to kiss me. "Thank you, I trust you."

With that, I lowered her down, letting my cock fill her. Her eyes widened just a bit as she took a deep breath. She was so tight, and I hoped I wasn't hurting her.

"You okay?" I asked, hoping she was. We'd just had sex an hour before, and I didn't think I'd hurt her then, but I wasn't sure.

"I'm fine. I haven't done this in so long; I forgot how good you feel."

With that, I kissed her again, then began rocking my hips into her, thrusting up while I tried to keep her pressed against the wall. The water poured down on us, making our skin slick and slippery, and almost causing me to drop her a few times. Each little mishap was accompanied by giggles and laughs as we continued to kiss and lick and nip and suck at each other. Her hands were constantly in my hair, twisting and pulling on it, as my hands squeezed her butt and hips, pulling her down on to me in time with each of my upward thrusts.

After a few minutes, and one more almost drop, I pulled out of her. I was getting close to losing it, and I had thought of another way to try things. I unwrapped her legs from my waist and her feet landed back on the ground.

"Turn around," I whispered into her ear.

"What..."

"Just turn around."

She did as I said, and I pulled her hips away from the wall as I bent my knees a bit.

Lining myself up again, I pushed into her from behind, and heard her loud moan as it echoed off the tiled walls.

"Edward!" she cried out, looking over her shoulder at me.

"You like that, baby?" I asked, listening as she whimpered in agreement. Leaning over her, my chest pressed against her back, I brought my lips to her ear. "Touch yourself, make yourself come for me."

"Yeah?" she asked.

My hands were grasping at her hips as I thrust into her over and over again, so I let go with my right hand and reached out to cover her hand that was pressed against the tiled wall. I lowered it down in front of her, to between her legs, then held it there as I felt her fingers begin to move in tight circles.

"Oh, Edwar-" she called. "Oh baby."

Her backward thrusts began to match mine, and I gripped her hips with both hands again, leaning back so that I could look down and watch myself slide in and out of her. The steam surrounded us, as water rained down, making everything different than I'd ever experienced before. As her breathing picked up and her moans got louder, I pumped harder and faster.

"Edward! Oh, Edward!" she screamed, and I felt her clamp down on me. The feeling was intense, and after a few pumps, I pulled out, letting my cock land on her lower back before I fisted it and stroked a few more times. Seconds later, I was shooting out onto her back, long white streams of cum streaked across her milky pale skin.

"Baby," I muttered, breathing hard as I tried to catch my breath. "That was...oh man, I can't even..."

She straightened, then turned in my arms, wrapping herself around me as she leaned up to kiss me. Her tongue reached out to stroke mine, and we kissed deep, and hard.

"I love you," she whispered, her forehead against mine, and her eyes searching mine.

"Bella, I love you, too. So much, baby."

"Don't ever do that with anybody else, okay?" she said with a smile on her face.

"Never."

I spend the next few minutes washing her, and letting her wash me. As the water began to turn cold, I shut it off, grabbing a towel for her and drying her face before giving it to her. I kissed her lips once more, rubbing my nose against hers.

"Let's go see our boy," I said, causing her to smile.

"Let's go see him," she whispered, holding my hand as we stepped out of the shower and into the rest of our day.

I knew we would have to be careful from that point on, and I had every intention of taking things slow. I didn't want to ruin anything, and I knew she didn't, either. I would go as slow and easy as she wanted, as I worked toward my newest goal in life—having my family living under my roof by the beginning of the summer.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: I've been saying all along that the secret wasn't the big deal, it was the fact that they weren't communicating. So hopefully you got that. And congrats to those of you who thought Bella would be moving away. :) Smarties! :D **

**Only two chapters and an epi left. Can you believe it? :(**

**Now to rec's... ..**

_**Proud**_** by jennde. I love the way she writes, and with her using the **_**Fictionista**_** daily prompts, we get several updates every week. It's so good... :)  
****"There's nothing quite like a man who works with his hands for a living. " She writes amazing Edward's. Every time. So good.**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/7617777/1/Proud_Fictionista_Witfit_Prompts_Winter_2011_2012**

_**Twenty Pictures Edward Cullen Took**_** by orrington. rose. She's an amazing writer, and I mean that. The way she spins words...it's really beautiful. **

"**Edward has a mind reading camera. This story is about what he sees. Or rather, what he doesn't. " It's good, and almost finished. Check it out. Then review. It deserves WAY more reviews than it's got. :)**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/7647713/1/Twenty_Pictures_Edward_Cullen_Took**

**And a complete one that I loved...**

_**Holy Roller Novocaine**_** by TeamBella23. This o/s doesn't have the typical HEA you might want, and it's angsty, but oh, the ride... TeamBella23 does some of the best angst I've ever read. Not even kidding. :)**

"**She lives a hypocritical life. He's done something he can never take back. They're all pushing too far. Actions have consequences, but no one saw this coming. If you had a gun pointed to your head, would you choose to die with love?****" Trust me...it's so good. :)**

**http:/www()fanfiction()net/s/7690451/1/Holy_Roller_Novocaine **

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And Facebook, which I tried to avoid.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I haven't been there since I got a virus on my laptop from the site. I'm scared now. :D  
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.  
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)**

**I'll send the next chapter out early. Same rules as before – one person per 10 reviews, unless it goes higher than last chapter's reviews, then 2 per 10. You know what to do. And teasers in review replies. 'Cause I like it that way. Though it might take me a few days to reply to you since I don't have a teaser ready yet. :D One of these days I'll be on the ball...prepared ahead of time. :D**

**Thanks for still being here. You'll never know what it means to me. :)**


	35. Chapter 35 Memories of Us

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is shame for taking so long to update this story. Seriously, writers block sucks! Don't get it...just don't. :D**

**Thanks to my Superbeta, _MaggieMay14_, for being wonderful. And amazing. And marvelous. And attentive. And caring. And patient. And pretty...I could go on all day. :D She's just that terrific! Plus she'd stand in line for a midnight showing of Channing Tatum's new movie with me. If only we didn't like 50 bajillion miles away from each other. :D**

**Thanks to my prereaders ___Twilight44, ____Unchanged Affections, _&___ burntcore. _ They make me happy, and my life better and funner. I don't know what I'd do without them. Though I do know that this story wouldn't be what it is today.**

_**Thanks to**____** My Constants. My Girlies**__**, **_**My****Uberbeta**___**,**__** coldplaywhore, **_**and My Wifey**___**, Mrs. Robward.. **_**They are lovely…**

**The girls who got this chapter early were**_** – **____**Sujari6, stormy315, scary1016, twilight2, natalie0118, nrbl, **__**& **____**chillzhowdy.**_** Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm so glad you liked it. :)**___** trishchar**_** and **___**Erikajo**_**, I messaged you but you didn't respond. Get me your email address and I'll send you the next chapter early. :**_**)**_

**In case you've forgotten, and you probably have since it's been so long...E.C. is in the hospital after being hit by a car. Edward and Bella are devastated, and are leaning on each other for support. After going back to Edward's house to sleep, they end up having sex and talking about their issues, promising each other that they want to start over again. They then wind up having hot, frantic sex in the shower, because honestly? Why wouldn't you? :D 4 ½ years away from Edward Cullen...yeah, you're gonna get on that as often as you can! :D Hope you enjoy what's up next for them!**

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

WHTM Ch 35 – Making Memories of Us

_I'm gonna be here for you baby  
I'll be a man of my word  
Speak the language in a voice  
That you have never heard_

_I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow  
Where the wild bees swarm_

_And I'm gonna love you  
Like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust  
Makin' memories of us_

"Memories of Us" by Keith Urban

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

After getting dressed and a few more rounds of kissing, Bella and I arrived at the hospital. Even though I knew the world was the same as it had been the day before, everything seemed different now. It seemed brighter, better. I knew that was because of Bella, and I held her hand tight in mine as we made our way down the hospital corridors toward our son. Just before turning the last corner, I felt her slow down, and her fingers wiggling a bit. She wanted to let go. I turned and waited until I caught her eye.

"Together, right? You still want this?" I asked, hoping to remind her of what we had both committed to earlier.

Her teeth bit into her lower lip, like she always did when she was nervous or worried. "Yeah," she said with a nod. "Together." Her fingers dug into my flesh, and we continued on.

My parents were standing outside the room talking to Emmett and Alice as we approached. My mother was the first to spot us, and her eyes focused immediately on our clasped hands. A huge smile broke out over her face, and then just as suddenly it vanished. I knew she was just trying to contain her excitement about us, and not scare us.

"Hi, did you sleep well?" she said, the rest of my family turning to greet us.

"How is he?" Bella asked.

"He's good, things are looking better. The doctor started cutting back on the dosage of his medication this morning, so he should be awake sometime this afternoon or evening," my father said with a smile.

After a few more questions, we walked into his room, finding Renee and Charlie sitting in the chairs next to E.C.'s bed.

"Hi, Dad," Bella said, quickly moving to give Charlie a hug. E.C. was still wrapped up in the blankets on his bed, and I went to stand next to him, running my fingers along his cheek. His coloring looked better than it had the night before, and for the first time since the accident, I felt like maybe things really would be alright.

A few hours later, I decided to go to the cafeteria and get us something for lunch. I knew Bella was hungry, even though she insisted she wasn't. She asked to go with me, and I happily agreed, wanting a few more moments alone with her. While I loved our families, they had been rather excited all morning, which I knew was because of the obvious closeness between Bella and I. Alice almost seemed to be bouncing off the walls with joy, and I couldn't deny her that, especially since I was feeling pretty similar on the inside.

As we neared the cafeteria, I heard my name being called. Turning around, I saw Angela, Carmen, and Peter walking toward us. They were all sporting rather guarded smiles, and a wave of nausea washed over me as I thought about Bella and Angela being near each other. I knew they would each be nice and congenial, but they were both important to me, and I hoped that maybe—some way—they would be able to get along. I didn't deserve to have my life go that easily, but I was still hoping maybe it would.

"Hey, we found you. I wasn't sure where his room was. How's E.C. doing?" Angela asked.

Carmen rushed right up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me hard as she sniffled. Angela stood back a bit, and I knew that normally she would have been hugging me as well, but since Bella was there, she was clearly nervous. She stood near Peter, waiting and possibly testing the mood between Bella and me.

"He's okay. He's actually doing better today, and the doctor's are reducing his meds. He should be waking up tonight, which is good," I said.

"Oh, that's so great! We were so worried," Carmen said.

"Thanks, guys." I was glad to see my friends. I had felt horrible calling them the day before, telling them that I wouldn't be able to make it to our class presentation, but I needed to be with my son. He was my first priority. My professor understood when I spoke with him immediately after, saying he would work out something as far as our grades went.

"The presentation went well," Peter said. "We got an A as a group, and the professor said he'd average our individual grades and give you that. I hope that's okay."

I smiled, relieved that something else seemed to be going well. "Yeah, that's great."

Angela smiled at me, and I saw her eyes glance to the side, where Bella was standing.

"Oh hey, I don't think you guys have met Bella. Peter, Carmen, and Angela, this is Bella, E.C.'s mom. Bella, this is Peter, Carmen, and Angela, my friends from school."

"Hi," Bella softly said, leaning against my side. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her in closer.

"Hey, nice to meet you, Bella," Carmen said, as Peter mumbled something similar.

"We were gonna get something to eat. You guys wanna come with us? We can go up to the room afterward, if you want," I said, hoping they would stick around a bit. I could tell that Angela was curious about how things were between Bella and me, and I hoped that maybe we'd get a chance to talk before the day was over. Plus, I wanted my family to meet my friends.

As we sat in the cafeteria eating lunch, they told me all about the presentation and their plans for Thanksgiving. Bella was quiet and she didn't eat much, but she ate more than she had the past few days, so I was glad. On our way back up to the room, I held her hand again, catching the smile on Angela's face when she noticed. My parents were happy to meet my friends, and they each looked in on E.C., before they headed home.

"Bella, can I talk to you for just a minute?" Angela said.

Bella nodded and I watched as the two of them walked down the hall a little ways, until they were out of earshot from me. I stood silently by, watching as Angela talked and Bella nodded. I had faith that Angela wouldn't do anything to hurt my relationship with Bella, and I felt relieved that I'd told Bella everything that had happened between Angela and me. I let out a sigh as the two of them started walking back toward me, both of them smiling and seeming a little happier than they had been a few minutes earlier.

"I'll see you later, Edward. I'm leaving Wednesday afternoon, so I'll try and come by again tomorrow. I can probably get notes for your classes, if you want," Angela said.

"Sure, that'd be great. Thanks a lot," I said, nodding as I pushed my hands into my back pockets and shifted my weight from foot to foot. "So, um...is everything okay? I mean, with that..."

She laughed. "Yeah, everything's fine. Don't worry, we're good." She looked over at Bella who was standing on the other side of the hallway. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Angela. Thanks, for everything," Bella replied.

Angela smiled and nodded before glancing back at me. "Bye, Edward, see you tomorrow."

With that, Angela and my other friends were gone. I watched them walk down the hall until they turned a corner. Glancing over toward Bella, I found her watching me closely.

"We okay?" I asked nervously.

She smiled, walking toward me until finally her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled me in for a kiss. "We're perfect," she said.

I heard Alice giggling from inside E.C.'s room, and I knew that I wasn't alone in my joy.

We hung around the hospital all afternoon and into the evening. I knew everyone wanted to be there when E.C. woke up, and they were all afraid they'd miss it if they left. His stat's were good and the doctor assured us that he would be waking up soon. As the hour got later, and he was still unconscious, I started to worry a bit. My father reminded me that it was fine, and that everyone responded to medication differently. I hoped he was right, and Bella and I situated ourselves into the chairs next to our son's bed as we waited.

Around midnight, just as Renee and Phil were thinking of leaving, E.C. started to stir a bit. First he moved his fingers, wiggling them back and forth. One of his arms was casted, and those fingers were covered with bandages, but the ones that were loose were moving, and Bella quickly let him wrap them around her hand. The smile on her face was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen, and we all moved a little closer to the bed.

Soon enough, he started to move his head back and forth. He couldn't move much, with as tightly as his bandages were wrapped up, but he was trying his hardest. When I heard him grumbling and moaning, I thought my heart might leap out of my chest. I was sure his throat was probably a little sore from the respirator and breathing tube that had been removed earlier in the day. I wondered for a moment if he could drink water once he woke up, and if that would help him at all. I watched him closely and realized that he was really waking up, finally, and I had to fight hard to keep back the tears that were building in my eyes.

"Baby? E.C.? Can you hear me? It's Mommy, honey. Wake up, baby," Bella whispered, leaning in close to him.

"Momma?" he said softly, his voice a little gravely from having not spoken for several days.

"Baby, I'm here. And Daddy's here, and all your grandma's and grandpa's, too. Open your eyes and wake up, baby," Bella coaxed.

"Daddy?" he said.

"Hey buddy, I'm here. Wake up, let me see your eyes."

I gently ran my finger along his forehead, over his eyebrows and then down along his cheek. He always loved when I did that at night, when he was having trouble falling asleep. He leaned toward me a bit, sighing. "Daddy," he whispered as his eyes fluttered and he looked right up at me. "My head hurts, Daddy. I gots a owie."

A smile covered my face as a laugh bubbled out of my chest. I couldn't stop it, just like I couldn't stop the tears that began to roll down my cheeks. Bella was crying too, leaning over the other side of the bed and still gripping E.C.'s hand.

"Hey buddy, I missed you. You've been sleeping for a while. I know your head hurts, but is the rest of you feeling okay?" I said, wiping at the wetness on my cheeks. I could hear our mother's sniffling behind us, watching on as our little boy woke up. They were just as happy as we were, but they sat back, letting us have a moment with him.

"I'm all stuck, Daddy," he said, struggling against his bandages and blankets.

"You gotta hold still, okay? You're in the hospital, so you gotta be still. Do you remember what happened to you?" I asked, as Bella and I tried to calm him down.

"No," he whispered, looking over at Bella.

"You ran in out into the road and a car hit you. We brought you to the hospital so the doctors could fix you up. You hurt your arm and your head, and the doctors let you sleep for a long time. I was worried about you, baby," Bella whispered.

"How come you's cryin', Momma?" he asked.

Bella sniffled. "I was just so worried about you. You know you're my favorite boy ever."

E.C. sighed just a bit and seemed to relax a bit. "I knowed that."

Soon the doctor came in, accompanied by a few nurses. They invited us to stay, but I knew they were busy and the sooner they could complete their check up, the sooner they'd be gone. I urged Bella to come with me to the hall, but the farthest I could get her to go was the doorway. Truth be told, I didn't want to lose sight of E.C. either, so I stood with her, watching him. His eyes seemed to search for us, too, every few seconds. He remained fairly even tempered with the doctor, and did his best to answer all the questions he was asked, as well as endure the poking and prodding he was receiving.

After several minutes, we were let back in to see him, with strict orders that only two people could stay the night. The doctor wanted E.C. to get some sleep, and he was worried that with so many people around, that wouldn't happen. There was no question that Bella and I would be staying, and soon enough we said good night to our family members, knowing that we'd see them the next morning.

Since E.C. was still the only child in the room, the nurse allowed us to use one of the other beds, and I insisted that Bella sleep there while I slept in one of the reclining chairs. E.C. managed to stay awake for an hour or so, and then he got sleepy and nodded off.

"He's really okay, isn't he?" Bella whispered as she sat on my lap before we both crashed for the night.

"Yeah, I think he is. Can you believe it?"

Her head lay on my shoulder and we both watched our son sleeping. I felt Bella's body relax, and I stood, carrying her over to the bed where I laid her down. Her arms wrapped around my neck just as I was standing to walk away, and she pulled me back down to her. Her lips met mine and I kissed her good night, reveling in the taste of her, and the softness of her skin. I'd missed her so much, and how easy it was to be with her like this. Finally, things were turning around for me, and I couldn't wait for us to get out of the hospital and get on with our lives. Together.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed by pretty quickly. Between me, Bella, and our families, there were always a few people with E.C., which was great. It kept him entertained and calm. I was a little surprised that he actually stayed in his bed for most of the day Tuesday. By Wednesday afternoon, he wanted out. He was a normal four year old boy—he didn't want to sit still, and there were only so many cartoons he could watch.

"Can we's go outside, Daddy? I wanna pway outside," he whined to me.

"I'm sorry, Bud. We gotta stay in so you can get better. The doctor said maybe you can go home tomorrow. Would you like that?"

He nodded just a little, reaching up to scratch at the bandages that were still wrapped around his head. He was improving by the minute, getting better and better each time the doctor or nurses checked on him.

"And I's can pway with Sadie."

Bella and I hadn't really had a chance to discuss a new care schedule for E.C., but I was relatively sure she was going to want to take him home with her. That was fine with me, since I had no idea how to care for a child with a broken arm, who was also recovering from head trauma. I was going to be a doctor, so it was something I would need to figure out eventually, but for the time being, I could barely manage to keep him fed and clean when he was functioning normally.

"Well, I think you're gonna go home with Mommy tomorrow and stay at her house for a while. That way she and Nana can take care of you while you get better."

"But I got's to feed Sadie, Daddy. I got's to pway wif her. Her misses me, huh Daddy?" he asked, his eyes wide and starting to fill with tears.

"I'm sure she does, but Granny and Grandpa have been watching her, and Uncle Emmett's been taking her for walks, and Uncle Jasper's been playing with her, so I think she's okay right now. But, I'll tell you what. How about if I bring her over to your house to see you on the day after tomorrow? Do you think that would be okay?"

He nodded a little, careful not to move too much or too quickly. He'd learned that lesson Tuesday morning and been rewarded with quite a headache for the next couple of hours.

"You got's ta ask Momma, 'cause I think her don't wike doggies so much."

I smiled, knowing it wasn't that Bella didn't like them, as she'd always been a little afraid of them. Sadie was pretty small and very sweet, so I didn't think it would be much of a problem.

Thursday afternoon we packed up E.C., with lots of orders and instructions from the doctor about what he could and couldn't do at home. He had an appointment scheduled for Monday in the doctor's office, but until then, we were on our own. I was grateful that my parents were planning to stay through the weekend, and I knew Bella was, as well. She'd finally confided in me that she was a little nervous about taking him home, since she didn't know how to care for him. My parents promised to help, having endured their fair share of tending to broken bones during Emmett's younger years. My mom was a pro at wrapping casts for bath time, so I knew Bella would get the hang of it pretty quickly, too.

Our parents had decided that even though Thursday was Thanksgiving Day, we would hold off on our big meal until Friday. Everyone would be there for it, including my siblings and their spouses, as well as Emmett and Rosalie's baby. E.C. was very excited to see little Emmalie again, and giggled when she tried to suck on his fingers.

"Can her stay here wif us, Daddy? I wike pwaying wif a baby," E.C. said as he tried to tickle her and make her laugh.

Bella and I looked up at the same time, looking at each other for a moment, before I finally smiled and winked at her. She blushed just a bit, and quickly looked away. I knew Emmalie couldn't stay with us, but maybe someday there would be another baby for E.C. to play with. I knew I wanted more children, and I hoped that Bella did, too. We were going to make this work, no matter what. I couldn't let her go again, and I hoped she realized that.

After E.C. was tucked into bed, Bella and I sat on the sofa and watched T.V. for a while. There wasn't much on since it was kind of late, but I enjoyed just spending time with her. Her mom and Phil had gone to bed, reminding us that we'd all have to be up bright and early if we were going to get our Thanksgiving meal prepared. Alice and Rose were planning Black Friday shopping at several stores in the area, but I knew they'd be back before all the real work on the food got started.

My arm was around Bella's shoulders as she leaned against my side. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her and lay her back on the couch while I crawled on top of her and showed her how much I loved her, but we were taking things slow. We'd messed up with the shower thing on Monday morning, but I was determined not to screw it up again. We were going slow now, and I was okay with that. Well, at least I would learn to be okay with it. I turned my head and rubbed my nose in her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo for a moment before placing a kiss on her temple.

"I should probably go. It's getting kinda late."

Her hand that was resting on my thigh started to grip me tighter. "Can't you stay?" she asked, looking up at me with her beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to stay, to give in to her. She knew the affect she had on me, and I could tell she really did want me there.

"I really should go. We're going slow, right? Dating?"

"Yeah, but this is E.C.'s first night home from the hospital. I think you should probably be here, don't you? For when he wakes up in the morning?"

"Oh, that's why I should stay, huh?" I asked, wondering if that was the real reason, or if she had something else in mind.

"Of course. For E.C.," she said with a nod, as the corners of her lips turned up every so slightly.

I let out a sigh. "Alright, I guess I can stay. I'll just sleep here on the couch, that's the best place, right?"

She squirmed just a bit, looking down at floor. "Well, I figured we could both fit on my bed, if you want. I think there's plenty of room."

I couldn't hold back the smile that took over my face. "In your bed, huh? My, my, Ms. Swan. I get the feeling you're trying to seduce me or something. And to use our recently injured son as a way to get me into bed... I didn't know you had it in you." I laughed quietly, reaching down to wiggle my fingers in her side and make her laugh.

"Stop!" she laughed, grabbing at my hand. "Just stay with me, okay?"

I paused, watching her closely. When our eyes met, the smile slipped from my face. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Promise."

I traced my fingers along her cheek, then under her chin as I tilted her face up toward mine. I kissed her softly, hoping to show her just how much I meant what I said. In no time, our one kiss had turned into several deep, tender and heated kisses, and I knew that by all likelihood, if I stayed the night—in her bed—things would not stay PG rated.

"Maybe I should sleep in E.C.'s room tonight. I'll be fine on the floor," I huffed, already willing the bulge in my jeans to go away.

"Maybe that's better. I think if I'm lying next to you, I won't be able to stop myself from doing what I really want to do with you."

I smirked. "Hold that thought, okay? We'll get there, and when we do, you can have me any way you see fit."

She clung to me for a few more minutes before she started to yawn, and I turned off the television. We found a few pillows and blankets, and I used them to make up a bed on the floor in E.C.'s bedroom. I sent my mom a text telling her where I was, just so that she wouldn't be worried. I planned on heading home in the morning, so I could get showered and dressed for the day.

"Goodnight," Bella said as we stood in front of her bedroom door.

"Goodnight," I whispered before kissing her sweetly and hugging her to me. I waited until she'd gone into the room and closed the door before I returned to E.C.'s room. Situating myself in my makeshift bed, I smiled at the thought that for the second time ever, Bella, E.C., and I were all sleeping under the same roof. It was an amazing feeling, and I quickly fell asleep with a smile firmly planted on my face.

The next day was insanity, madness, and mayhem, all rolled into one. Renee and Bella cooked up a huge dinner, while my mom, Alice, and Rosalie helped with whatever needed to be done. Emmett and Jasper were engrossed in several different football games, while Phil and my dad ran errands for my mother and Renee. Charlie sat next to me on the sofa, with E.C. between us, and Emmalie laying on the floor on top of a blanket. E.C. loved watching her, and it kept him still, so I was happy. Sadie ran and played happily in the backyard, and had been overjoyed to see E.C. that morning.

As we all sat down to our meal, I held Bella's hand and listened as Phil offered a prayer over the food, giving thanks for our family and for E.C.'s speedy recovery. I thought about all the things that had happened to me over the past five months, realizing the complete turn around my life had taken. At one point I had no real direction, no real desire or drive. I had nothing to move toward. Sitting next to Bella, peeking around her at our son, I saw how completely different my life was now, and I was happy. For the first time in years, I had something to be thankful for, and I squeezed her hand, winking at her when she glanced up at me. Once the prayer was finished, I leaned over and softly kissed her cheek, whispering an "I love you" so that only she could hear it. The blush on her face assured me she did, and then I let myself be consumed by the joy and love being expressed all around me. It was a good day, and I felt truly blessed.

My mother decided to stay with me for an extra week, volunteering to watch E.C. during the day while Renee worked, and Bella and I attended our classes. Bella was taking some time off from work, hoping to avoid Jacob, who had apparently taken to hanging around the cafe each day, waiting for her to show up. She didn't want to see him, and I was glad for that. I didn't want her anywhere near him, and was a little upset when she refused my offer to escort her to and from each of her classes. She insisted Jake wouldn't hurt her, but I wasn't so sure. I still didn't know why he'd acted the way he had, and until I did, I was nervous.

E.C. bounced back quickly, and was soon begging to go back to preschool. I finally agreed, and took him on his last day before the Christmas break. They were having a party, and he didn't want to miss it. Bella had heard from the parents of several of his friends, and they were worried about him. His teachers had tried to explain what happened to E.C., but some of the kids didn't really understand. Bella and I thought it might be good if they could see him, and know for themselves that he was okay. Plus, it was a good lesson for them when it came to listening to their parents, as well as looking both ways before crossing the street. E.C. had been spending each night at Bella's house, and I'd slept over a few times—always either on E.C.'s bedroom floor, or on the sofa in the living room. I was looking forward to having him in my house again, though I was kind of anxious about it, too.

My mother returned to Washington, after teaching Bella and I a lot about caring for E.C.'s injuries. He was a strong kid, and very resilient, so I quickly started to feel better about taking care of him. I knew I wouldn't break him very easily. It was still difficult to keep him from running around the backyard, chasing Sadie. He wanted to run, he wanted to climb, he wanted to slide and swing. Sadly, he wanted nothing to do with sitting on the couch and watching movies, like I wanted him to do. He was getting back to his old self, especially with Christmas quickly approaching.

I hadn't planned on decorating, but E.C. soon talked me into buying a tree, and he and Bella spent an evening at my house helping me decorate it. E.C. laughed at my lack of color coordination when it came to the decorations I bought, but Bella just smiled and arranged them all on the tree. It looked wonderful, and that night we cuddled together on the sofa after E.C. had gone to sleep. He was spending the night, but Bella was going home, much to my disliking.

"You sure you can't stay?" I asked for the fifth time, my hand sliding up the back of her shirt. We were making out on the couch, her body pinned underneath mine.

"Yeah, I told my mom I'd help her wrap gifts in the morning. If I stay, there's no way I'll get up early and get home, I'll be too tempted to stay in bed with you."

The thought of her in my bed again made me crazy with desire, and I kissed her hard, my tongue sliding against hers as my fingers moved toward her bra strap.

"Edward," she whimpered.

"I know, but I can't help it. I want you so much, baby."

I pressed my hips against hers, so that she'd understand exactly how much I wanted her.

"Edward, wait," she said, pushing her hands against my chest. It took every bit of strength and self control I had to push myself away from her.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said, not really meaning it in that moment.

She ran her hand through her hair, and I could tell something was bothering her. "What would E.C. say if he found us in bed together?" she asked.

I froze, realizing I'd never honestly thought about what he would think if that were to happen.

"Um, I don't know, why?"

She let out a soft sigh, looking at me until I met her gaze. "He has friends at school who've told him that moms and dads sleep in the same bed. He thinks they do that because they're married. Edward, if he finds us in bed together, he's gonna assume that we're married, and that we're all going to live together after that. I've heard him talk, that's what he thinks."

"Oh," I said. I hadn't expected that answer, by any means, and it surprised me just a bit. "So we need to talk to him about this stuff, or what?"

"Eventually, yeah. But for now, I think we just need to keep things pretty PG around him, you know? We aren't taking any big steps right now, so I don't think we need to mention it to him just yet, but in a few months, maybe."

"Like, in a few months if you guys move in with me? We'll talk to him about all this stuff then?" I asked, hoping to judge her reaction to my words.

She smiled. "Yeah, like then."

I already knew I wanted Bella and E.C. with me always, but I also knew I had to prove how serious I was. That would be a permanent change in our lives, and I didn't want Bella to think it was something I would take lightly. I had every intention of doing things right, it just wasn't time yet.

Christmas came quickly, and I spent Christmas Eve at Bella's with her parents. Of course my family was sad that we didn't return to Washington for the holidays, but with E.C.'s weekly doctor appointments, it just wasn't feasible. We tentatively planned to go back over Spring Break, though Bella's schedule would be a little tough for the next semester. She was doing her student teaching at a local elementary school, which was great for me. It meant she would finally quit her job at the coffee shop right after New Year's, and then hopefully we wouldn't have to worry about Jacob much anymore.

Of course he chose Christmas morning to stop by her house. Phil insisted he would take care of it. He had run Jake off several times before when Bella wasn't home. Phil only knew a few bits of what Jake had said. Bella edited the details when she explained things to her parents, knowing that between Phil and Charlie, something really bad could happen if they found out all the things Jake had said. That morning, when he knew for sure the Bella was home, he refused to leave, and Bella agreed to talk to him. I didn't want to let her, but as long as I stood on the other side of the front door in case he tried anything, I was willing to let her take care of it on her own. I knew it was important to her that she be the one to finally end things. If Jake thought her family or I had made her cut him off, he never would give up.

"What, Jake? You know I don't want you around us, so what do you want?" she asked, her tone angry and tight.

"I just wanted to see you, and to see E.C. I miss you guys. I brought a gift for E.C., and I'd like to give it to him. Please, Bella, I'm sorry. It was just guy talk, you know? I didn't mean any of what I said, I swear."

"Whatever, Jake. I'm done with this, so just get out what you need to say, and then go. I don't want my son to have your gift, so take it to a homeless shelter or a charity or something. Do something good with it. Then, don't come back here, because we aren't friends anymore."

Phil was hovering in the kitchen in case things got out of hand, while Renee kept E.C. occupied in his bedroom with some of his new toys, but I knew that probably wouldn't last forever. He'd already asked about Jake a few times, but neither Bella nor I knew what to say to him. It wasn't like we could tell him the vile things Jake had said and done, but it didn't lessen the hurt of seeing my son sad over missing someone he considered his friend.

"Bella, please, I was just talking crap, you know? I don't even know anyone named Leah, I swear."

After several minutes of Jacob's ramblings and Bella's no nonsense approach, he broke. "Look, I just wanted to get close to you, okay?" he said. I didn't like the tone of his voice, and I could feel my fists clenching in response to it.

"Why? Why did you want me? Why did you come after me, Jake? I don't understand. I thought we were friends, I thought you were my friend. What happened? Why me?" Bella asked, and I could hear the emotion in her voice. She truly didn't understand why things had happened the way they did. She and I both needed answers so that we could put this whole episode behind us and move on with our life together.

"You really don't know?" he asked, his voice sounding honestly surprised.

"No, I don't know. What?"

"Do you remember the first time I ever saw you?" he asked. I didn't like where this was going, but I bit my tongue and remained silent.

"At work, I think," Bella said.

Jake laughed. "No, it wasn't at work. You have no idea, do you?" His laugh was growing more menacing, and I was getting closer and closer to losing my cool. I tried to take a few deep breaths and calm down, feeling my heart rate begin to accelerate.

He continued. "Let's see...it was about four years ago this spring, and you were standing in line at the student center. It was lunch time, and you were buying a sandwich and juice. Ringing any bells?"

Bella shook her head. "No, should it?"

"I walked up to you. You were the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen, and I wanted to ask you out. I was nice to you. I made small talk, told you that you looked cute, flirted and was funny. I even offered to buy your lunch for you, but you totally turned me down. Oh, you smiled and said a few things, but you completely blew me off. Do you have any idea how much crap I got when I went back to my friends after you shot me down?"

"What?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"I told my friends I was gonna get your number, and you wouldn't give it to me. I had to go back to them with my tail between my legs. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me?" he asked. He didn't sound like the nice Jake my son was friends with. This Jake was bitter, angry, and cruel sounding. I didn't like it at all.

"Wait, so you had this big plan to screw me over just because I turned you down four years ago?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Bella laughed. "Do you even realize how sad and pathetic that is? To harbor a grudge against someone for four years just because they didn't instantly succumb to your charms? That's disgusting."

"Bella, I always get what I want, especially when it comes to girls. And then there was you...too high and mighty to go out with someone like me. I needed to knock you off your horse a bit, show you who was really in charge of things. You blew me off way too soon, you didn't even give me a chance."

"Jake, I never dated anyone. Do you know why? Because I had a brand new baby at home, Jake. I was seventeen years old, and in love with someone else. I'd just run across the country, breaking both our hearts, and I was in no place to start looking for someone new. My turning you down had nothing to do with you, Jake. All of this was for that? Seriously? I can't believe this, that's such a stupid thing to do!"

"Bella, you just don't understand. I'm king around here, Bells, and you needed to know that."

Bella smiled, stepping back a bit so that I could see her face. "I know everything I need to know now. Jake, I want you to leave, and don't come back. We aren't friends, apparently we never were. You stay away from me, you stay away from my son. Go find someone else and be happy, Jake. As much as I hate you right now, you were my friend and I want you to be happy, to have a good life. Go do that, stop living in the past and carrying these idiotic grudges. Leave me and my family alone, and move on. I have."

With that, Bella closed the door, locked it, and threw herself into my arms. I was expecting tears or anger or sadness, but she was none of those things. She hugged me tight for several moments, then pulled back and placed a kiss on my lips. "Let's go find our boy, see how his Christmas morning is turning out. And then, I think I'll make my two favorite guys some breakfast, whadda you think?"

I smiled at her. "I think that sounds perfect." She started to pull away, but I kept her tight against me. "Are you okay? I mean, you finally know what Jake's deal was, so are you alright with it?"

Her hands were at the sides of my waist, her fingers clenching the fabric of my shirt. "Yeah, I think so. I just wanted to know, and now that I do...it just seems so stupid and wasteful. Seriously, who does something like that? How dare he think he's entitled to me just because he liked me and offered to buy me lunch? I can't believe he spent three years trying to get back at me. It's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard, you know?"

I smiled. "Yeah, it is kinda weird. I can't say I blame him, though. I mean, if I'd been in his shoes, I'd have been following you around like a lost puppy, too, just without the freaky need for revenge." I reached up and brushed her hair back behind her ears, then leaned down to kiss her cheek. She sighed, and I moved lower, leaving soft kisses along her skin until finally my lips were on the skin just under her ear.

"Edward..." she moaned lightly, her chest pressing against mine. I knew I had to stop, especially since we weren't alone in the house.

I lifted my face until my lips were even with her ear. "I love you, Bella," I whispered, then kissed her ear lobe.

"I love you, too," she said, holding onto me for a few more moments, before finally pulling back and smiling up at me.

I kept my arm around her waist, and she kept hers around mine, as we walked through the living room toward our son's bedroom. I could hear him giggling and laughing as he played with some of his new toys, and I thought to myself, this was the best Christmas of my life. And I was happy.

o~*~o~*~o~*~o

**A/N: **

**Good? Things looking up? Finally got that pesky Jacob out of the way? Yeah, he's a creeper. :) I was interviewed on a sweet little site, so check that out. I told them how amazing my readers are, so don't let me down. :) Take out the ()'s in the link. :)**

**http():()/()twificcentral().()com/2012/04/spotlight/spotlight-interview-beegurl13/**

**Now to rec's... **

**_Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F Words_ by anhanninen. "When man-whore, foul-mouthed Edward's life takes an unexpected turn, he's left with a baby to raise. With the help of a friendly neighbor, he learns sometimes the unexpected could be the best thing that's ever happened." This story is so good, I can't get enough of it!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7520210/1/Fatherhood_Formula_and_Other_F_Words**

**_Last Call_ by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy. "The past she's struggling to remember is the time he'd rather forget... Can they move beyond the scars and forge a new beginning together or have they missed their Last Call?" Seriously? I can't wait to wake up on Wednesday mornings because I know there's gonna be a new chapter of this. And I LOVE it!**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7596421/1/Last_Call**

**And something complete...**

**_Second Page_ by CaraNo. "The first page didn't belong to them, because it was dedicated to someone else. Eight years later, we flip to the second page. It's theirs. EPOV. Daddyward, Mechanicward, Inkward, Olderward." So good...ugh, really wonderful. She has such a knack for finding new ideas and writing about them. This is just outstanding. :)**

**http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/8017705/1/Second_Page**

**As always remove the ()'s from the links. :)**

**I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.  
And Facebook, which I tried to avoid.  
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I haven't been there since I got a virus on my laptop from the site. I'm scared now. :D  
**

**Since the next chapter is the last one, I was thinking I'll try something different. Everyone who reviews this today will get the next, and final, chapter a day early. Just so you know, you have to have your PM's turned on, otherwise I can't message you on ff dot net. Even if you just turn them on for this week, do it. At least until you get a review reply from me where I'll ask for your email address. :D Don't worry, I won't go all stalker on you. :D Well...I probably won't, anyway. :D**

**Thanks for sticking with me. Writer's Block is real, it's depressing, and it kills brain cells. Or at least the story writing ones that had been residing in my head. :D One more chapter and the epi to go... Can you believe it? I have NO clue when it will be done, but it WILL be done, eventually. Hopefully in the next month or two. We'll see. :)**

**Thank you for being wonderful. You'll never know what it means to me. :)**


End file.
